02x42 - Sir Littlechin and the Phoenix/Looney Luau

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

- Back, dragon!
-[CLANGING]

I, Sir Littlechin, have sworn
to banish you from this land.

-[CLANGING INCREASES]
- And banish you, I will.

En guard! Touche!
S'il vous plait!

[GIGGLING]

We agreed there would be
no tickling.

[SLURPS] Ah! I love the fall.

The pumpkin spice coffee,
the pumpkin spice cookies,

the pumpkin spice deodorants.
[SNIFFING] Ah...

Pumpkin-ey fresh.

-[DRAGON ROARING]
-[SCORCHING]

- Egad!
-[ROARING CONTINUES]

The pumpkin spice aftershave.

[SCORCHING]

[QUACKS FAINTLY]

It burns.

Prepare to meet
your doom, dragon.

Taste the wrath of my blade!

-[MUSCLES TEARING]
-[SHRIEKING]

Oh, my back!
I threw my back out!
Time out, time out.

Oh, I'm so sorry, dragon.

Ooh, I shall need a few days
to recover.

Oh, I'm getting too old
to fight dragons.

-[WHISTLING]
- If only there was
some way to feel

- like my youthful self
again.
-[CRASHING]

Hark! Who goes there?

[SHOUTING]

Zounds! A phoenix
rising from the ashes. Huzzah!

[SIGHS] Thank you,
pumpkin spice water.

-[CLANGS]
- Ah-ha! I've got you,
phoenix.

Huh? What are you
talking about?

Oh, don't try and fool me.

I just saw you
shed your old age
and become young again.

Right, 'cause that's what
a phoenix does?

Yes!

A phoenix is a mythical
creature that goes through
the three phases of life

before rising
from the ashes as a
younger version of itself.

Right, right, right,
because that's what I am.

- A phoenix...
- Now, out with it!

Teach me
your secrets of youth.

You know, the right thing
to do would be to tell him
he's made a mistake.

But I never do
the right thing.

Okay, bub,
if you want my youth secrets,

you gotta let me out first.

- You won't run away, will you?
- I promise.

- Okay.
- I'm gonna fly away!

-[EXCLAIMS]
-[CHEERING]

Get back here, bird!

Come and get me.

-[WHISTLES]
- Ah-ha!

[LAUGHING] I've got you.

And you'll never...
[EXCLAIMING]

-[WHISTLES]
- I...

Wait a minute...

If you're over there,
then who's leg
am I-- [CHOMPS]

[SCREAMS]

Ooh! You tricked me, phoenix.

I wasn't tricking you.

I was teaching you
Daffy the phoenix's
secrets of youth.

Secrets to youth number one,
don't act your age.

I... I don't understand.

Didn't you feel
like a kid again,
jumping in those leaves?

- Yeah, a little bit.
- See, you felt younger.

Let me show you
some more secrets. [SNAPS]

Now, when middle-aged men
want to feel young

they've got to learn
the secret of youth
number two,

break out of your comfort zone
and go into the danger zone!

[YELPS] But I don't have
fairy wings.

You don't need fairy wings
in the danger zone.

- You need a parachute.
Like this.
-[SHRIEKS]

[WHIMPERING] I don't want
to do this anymore!

Come on, pal,
there's no place for fear
in the danger zone.

-[SHAKING]
-[SCREAMING]

Mother, Father, Robert.

Give me your parachute.
You don't need it,
you can fly.

- Here you go, pal.
- Oh, thank you.

What the...
Food as a parachute?

That wasn't a parachute.
That was my lunch.

Save me!
I'm too beautiful to die.

Okay, chum. Just a sec.

- This ought to do it.
- And what's this for?

It's for the danger zone.

[SCREAMING]

[ROPE STRAINS]

-[SIGHS]
-[ROPE SPRINGS]

-[YELPING]
-[THUDDING]

[GRUNTS PAINFULLY]

If you still feel old,

try secret to youth
number three,

exercise!

It's time to sweat
with some dance aerobics,
disco style.

-[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]
- Up and down, up and down.

Feel that boogie beat!

Feel that rhythm
rock your body from your
head down to your feet!

-[EXCLAIMING]
-[CLACKING]

- Pick that nose,
pick that nose!
-[GRUNTING]

Don't be shy,
really dig in there.

I said feel that boogie.
Don't look for it.

- Now, pick up that rock.
-[STRAINING]

- I did it!
- And hold it...
Hold it. And...

- Now, slap that face.
Slap that face!

-[SLAPPING]
-[GRUNTING]

Now, spank that rump.
Spank that rump!

-[SPANKING]
-[GASPING]

-[SPANKING CONTINUES]
- Faster, harder!
Faster, harder!

- Now, pick that nose!
- Now I'm really starting
to feel the burn.

- Now, do all three!
- Ah, it's working! Huzzah!

- Wait a minute. Oh. [GRUNTS]
-[CRASHING]

- Good job.
- Enough!

My body is feeble
and my bones ache.

I... I...

Oh, wait a second...

This is the last stop
on the journey of life.

Yes! Any moment now,
I will be reborn young again.

Oh, what a journey. Thank you.

Thank you, phoenix.

Uh, full disclosure.
I'm a duck.

[CHEERING]

-[SQUEAKS]
-[SHOUTS]

- Nobody...
-[CLANGING]

Makes...

A fool...

- Of Sir-- [SCREAMS]
-[MUSCLES TEARING]

- Oh, my back!
My back went out again!
- No worries.

I'm an unlicensed
chiropractor.

-[BASHING]
-[GRUNTING]

There you go, pal.

How does that feel?

Better...

In fact, a lot better.

Oh, I feel like
a new knight
risen from the ashes.

I'm ready to take on
that dragon again!

Game on, dragon-- [SHRIEKING]

[DRAGON SCREECHING]

Not fair, dragon! Not fair!

It was just youthful boasting!

Secret to youth number four,

if life comes at you
too fast...

Duck.

-Turn right. Turn right.
- Oh, turn off!

GPS? More like G-P-Guess!

This phone's got me
way off course.

Ooh! Look at that.

That must be it. Whoo-hoo!

Here he comes,
my lowly subjects.

-[GRUNTS]
- Let the celebration begin.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Welcome, visitor.
I am King Thes,
ruler of this island.

You are our guest of honor.

- Ooh, thank you! Thank you.
-[CROWD CHEERING]

When I saw this giant duck,
I figured this place knew how
to treat a fella like me.

Oh, indeed we do.

High priestess? [CLAPPING]

In accordance to our legends
and bylaws we will first
pamper our guest of honor.

Oh, yes. By all means,
pamper away.

- Then we'll feast.
- I'm tracking with you.

- Followed by entertainment.
- Roger that.

- Then a parade.
- So far so cool.

And, finally, we're going
to push you into the volcano.

Yep, then push me
into the volca-- No!

[RUMBLING]

I'm cool with the other
stuff,
but that last one...

Listen, you. We are going
to throw you in the volcano

so that the gods will grant
us
proper and just leadership.

And that leader is me.

[SPITTING] Understand?

Okay, okay. I'll play along.

Could you also see if the gods
would throw in an umbrella?

Sheesh.

To start, the sacrifice
and leader.

That's me.

- I'm the leader!
- Yeah. Got it. Insecure much?

They shall dine
on this delicious feast.

-[GIGGLING AND SLURPING]
- Ooh, boy!

Look at this spread.

Hey, everybody.
Sacrifice here.
Free lunch on me.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Hey, what about me?

I saved the best for you.

Here, have some
fromunda cheese.

[SNIFFS] Ugh,
this smells terrible.

Where'd this come from?

From this walrus.

From under this walrus.

That's not cheese! [SPITS]

Here! Have some PB&J.

[CHOMPING]

This peanut butter
tastes weird.

Oh, that's not peanut butter.
The "PB" stands for
"pickled beets."

[GROANING] What's the "J"
stand for?

- DAFFY: Jam.
-[SIGHS]

Toe jam! I used
what I had on hand.

Or on toe, rather.

[RETCHING]

-[CHOMPING]
-[SCREAMS]

We will now start
the entertainment portion
of the festivities.

Oh, goody-goody!
Dance for your king.

Hey, I've got a better idea.

-[GRUNTS]
- Change of plans, Thes-ey poo.

We won't watch
the entertainment.
We'll be the entertainment!

-[VOCALIZING]
-[GRUNTING]

- Now it's time
for the fire dance!
-[GASPS]

-[SMOLDERING]
-[GASPING] Hot!

Say, that's pretty hot stuff.

Let's heat things up a notch.

-[STRUGGLING]
- You're really fired up now.

Big finish!

DAFFY: Ta-da!

[CROWD CHEERING]

Hey. We're a hit.
Take a bow, Your Highness.

Well, uh, thank you.
Oh, thank you.

[SHRIEKS]

-[CHOMPING]
-[WHIMPERING]

I knew those clams
would come through
in a pinch.

All right,
no more entertainment.

It's sacrificing time.

Yes, but before that,
you and the duck

must lead the parade
up the mountain.

Ooh! I love parades.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Who's ready to have fun
and go wild?

Won't be too fun for you
when we throw you
into the volcano.

Well, someone's
not getting any beads.

DAFFY: Let this parade begin!

Wait a minute.
There's two paths here.

Clearly we're gonna
take that one, right?

No, no, no, no, no.
I'm the king

and I say we're
going down this path.

Uh, I think the duck is right.

Now you're speaking
my language, sister.

Do you mind carrying me?
I have flat feet.

Fine. I'll show you.

I'm taking the king's path.

This isn't so bad.

-[THES SCREAMING]
-[HISSING]

So many snakes...
[MUTTERING AND GROANING]

[GROWLING]

THES: Nice crocodiles, nice...

-[CROCODILE CHOMPS]
-[THES SCREAMING]

[PANTING]

-[MUMBLES]
-[THUDS]

Yikes. The boss
doesn't look so good.

He should have taken our path.

It had an escalator.

Maybe it's time you kiddos
put this king out to
pasture.

THES: Enough!

Let's just toss
this chitty-chatty
duck in the volcano

and be done with it!

- MISS COUGAR: Actually...
- What?

The islanders and I
have been talking,
and we like the duck.

What? Then what about
the sacrifice?

Oh, we'll still have
the sacrifice.

Good! Who's it gonna be?

- You.
- Me?

Well... I can't
be the sacrifice.
I'm the king.

Not anymore! Whoo-hoo!

Get back here,
you userping duck!

[THES GRUMBLING]

Get over here!
Give me back my crown!

Okay. Here, take it.

[GRUNTS] Huh?

[SHRIEKS]

-[YELPING]
-[POOFS]

CROWD: All hail King Daffy!

I'm so glad you're all here
to witness my crowning moment.

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

Hey, what do you know?
I'm a peaking duck.

[CROWD GROANING]

THES: I demand a recount!

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]