02x31 - The Knight Time Is the Right Time/The Pepé Le Pew Affair

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

KING: And so we say goodbye

to one of our beloved
Knights of the Square Table.

Best of luck
in your retirement,
Sir Toots-a-lot.

[TOOTS]

[FARTS]

We must now add a new knight
to help protect the kingdom.

- Leslie?
- Uh, yes, uncle?

Call me "Your Majesty."

Yes, Your Majesty.

My tootsies are tired.

Ugh. Yes, Your Majesty.

In order to become a knight,

one must pull the sword
out from the ceramic turtle.

I'll remove the sword,
Your Majesty.

[STRAINING]

Leslie, I really don't think
you're cut out to be a
knight.

[STRUGGLING]
Should have done more
upper body work at the gym.

[PANTING]

Behold, our newest
Knight of the Square Table.

Who me? I'm Bugs Bunny.

I'm just a serf guy.

Plus, all I did
was take this here sword out.

That's all you have to do.

KING: Behold, Sir Bugs Bunny,
a knight to the Square Table.

[CROWD CHEERING]

We shall have a dance
in his honor.

Ooh, that rabbit
has foiled my plans.
No matter!

Once I destroy him
and take his place
at the Square Table,

all the riches
of the kingdom will be mine.

- Mine! [GRUNTS]
-[CRASHING]

[FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING]

I want you to sh**t
Sir Bugs Bunny

with an arrow as soon
as you get a clear shot.

I'm going down there
to make sure he dances
into your cross hairs.

Get it? "Hairs."

Oh, never mind.
I'll go down there.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Uh, may I cut in?

Of course.

[SCREAMS]

What's the matter, Doc?

Nothing.
I just really love this
song.

Yowza!

What's up, Doc?
You pull a hammy?

Just adding
some flare to my dancing.

[GASPS]

[YELPING]

This guy takes
shaking a tail feather
to a whole new level.

[PANTING]
Looks like I'm going to have
to go with plan B.

- Plan B?
- Oh, I almost forgot.

I bear a message.

Thy help is needed.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I must attend
to a personal matter.

[MOANING]

"Dearest and most valiant,
Sir Bugs. Please help me.

"I'm being held prisoner
against my will
in a tower of Shoesberry.

"I've enclosed a picture."

[HONKING]

You said it, Sir Toots-a-lot.

Gotta safe her!

Two arms! Two legs. Let's go!

LESLIE: Okay,


for you to clobber Sir Bugs.

I mean, the next random person
who enters this room
with these sticks.

No matter who it is.
Understand?

When they walk in,
let them have it.

Yay. [GIGGLES]

-[HORSE WHINNYING]
- It is I, Sir Bugs Bunny.

Knight of the Square Table.

I'm here to rescue you.

[EXPLODING]

[GRUNTS]
You look a lot different
than your royal painting.

[IMITATING WOMAN]
Oh, I guess I forgot
to moisturize today.

Please, you must save me.

Of course I will. Come on.

I assure you, sire,
this door is the way out.

- This one?
- Yes.

- Are you sure?
- Absolutely.

- Eh--
-[NORMAL VOICE] Go!
It's this one!

[CLEARS THROAT AND GIGGLES]

Well then, it is the
knight's
charge to always defer
to the grace of a lady.

-[KISSES]
-[TITTERING]

Please, after you.

Oh, thank you, my lord.
That is very...

-[SHOUTING]
-[BEATING]

My lady, you must have sensed
there was a trap

and boldly
walked in to save me.

Yeah, yes. [GRUNTS]

Now, let's try
the way we came in.

My noble steed awaits.

[SCREAMS AND GRUNTS]

-[GASPING]
-[HORSE WHINNIES]

[SIGHS] I guess she'll always
be the one that got away.

That's it!
I challenge you to a duel.

[STRAINING]

-[BANGING]
-[SHOUTING]

Not again!

I tried everything
to unseat you
from the Square Table

but I failed.

Listen, Leslie.

If you wanna be a knight
so bad,

why don't you
just take my place?
I'll give it to ya.

Really? You'll just give me
your seat at the Square Table
and go back to being a serf?

Sure. As it turns out,
I signed up for the wrong
serf club anyway.

[CAR HONKING]

Oh, there's my ride.

Cowabunga! Let's catch
some waves, surf club.

Hey, you! What's your name?

I'm Leslie.

Your nephew.

Yes, Lester.

Where's Sir Bugs,
the newest knight?

He's gone.

I'm the new newest knight.

Oh... Okay.

[GRUNTS]

- You've got an assignment.
-[WHIMPERING]

[GASPS]

[GRUNTS] Ugh!

[GROWLS ANGRILY]

Looks like the dragon
is taking the...

- Night off.
-[TRUMPET BLOWING]

Oh, Toots-a-lot!

Somebody crack a window. Yuck.

[BEEPS]

HAZMAT 1: How'd we get stuck
stealing this crown
from this art gallery?

These assignments Blooper
gives us are the worst.

HAZMAT 2: Tell me about it.
Last week, I was on an island

with a pack
of neurotic savages.

HAZMAT 1: Weren't you
on a vacation
with your family?

HAZMAT 2: Yup.
They are real handful.

[SIGHS]

-[GROWLING]
- HAZMAT 1:
Do you hear something?

HAZMAT 2: Nah, that's
just
my stomach growling.

I'm gonna break
into the cafeteria
and grab a sandwich.

Hacking sure makes me hungry.

I'm inside the gallery.

The crown will soon
be returned
to its rightful owners.

HAZMAT 2: Hey, Gary,
check it out!

They have roast beef...

-[GRUNTING]
-[SCREAMING]

[THUDS]

HAZMAT 2: At least
my sandwich is okay...

[GRUNTS]

This is double agent, Le Pew.

I will soon
liberate the stolen jewels.

Right after I eat
this delicious sandwich.

HAZMAT 1: Hey,
that's not your sandwich.

-[GRUNTS]
- I didn't see a name on it.

The crown!

Wait a minute.
This is too easy.

-[SPRAYING]
-[LASERS HUMMING]

A laser-guided alarm system.

Luckily, I am a former
bronze medal winning
Olympic gymnast.

-[BONES CRACKING]
- Who hasn't worked out
in a long time.

[ZAPPING]

[GLASS SHATTERS]

[KISSES] A lady
always comes prepared.

- Now to get the crown...
-[LASER ZAPPING]

What the...
Let go of the crown, skunk.

But then,
I would have to let go
of two beautiful things.

The crown and you.

Ugh. Your charms
don't work on me.

The only charms I care about
are on the crown.

-[GRUNTS]
-[ALARM BLARING]

Ooh, the alarm is going off.

You're not going
to leave me hanging, are you?

[GRUNTS]

Freeze. Drop the crown
and put your hands up.

Now, turn around.
Very slowly.

Now put your hands
on your hips.

Perfect! Do not move a muscle.

Imagine you are on a beach,

watching a glorious sunset.

Now, imagine a handsome

debonair skunk
is there with you.

Ah. Finis.

Did your imagination
look something like this?

Ugh. I see the sun setting...

-[GRUNTS]
- On our relationship!

HAZMAT 1: Hey, there they are!

HAZMAT 2: Ugh, Gary,
this is why we can't
sneak up on people.

-[EXCLAIMS]
-[GRUNTS]

PEPE: Excuse me, madam.

I think you are
forgetting something.

And if you want it,
come and get me.

Come, cherie.
Let us explore
the weird video art

of the 1980's together.

It is true,
the camera adds 10 pounds

of handsomeness.

-[GRUNTS]
-[SMASHING]

You know, there are easier
ways to change the channel.

-[EXCLAIMS]
-[SMASHES]

Oh, my little couch potato,

relax and enjoy the views.

I don't mix business
with pleasure.

-Usually, you watch TV.
-[SMASHES]

But now TV is watching you.

[GRUNTS]

I'm not a fan
of the idiot box.

[THUDS]

That woman is a real
kick in the head, no?

This is Claudette.
I have secured the crown
and I'm headed back to base.

The crown!

HAZMAT 3: Hand over the crown.

HAZMAT 2: Well, she would
if someone didn't
sh**t it over the roof.

HAZMAT 1: Guys! Guys!

Remember what we learned
at the team building
seminar?

Voila! Looks like
I have saved the day.

You haven't saved anything!

We are surrounded.

You're right.

This jet pack is not strong
enough to carry both of us,
my love.

What? I thought
you were gonna give it to me!

And leave you alone? Never!

-[LASER FIRING]
-[EXCLAIMS]

Mademoiselle...

I am not flirting with you.
I am saving you from them.

HAZMAT 3:
You missed him, Gary.

HAZMAT 3: I guess someone's
really regretting missing
that eye doctor appointment.

[CLAUDETTE EXCLAIMS]

-[GRUNTS]
-[SLAPS]

-[SLAPPING]
-[GRUNTING]

[SHOUTS]

Ha-ha!

Ugh.

[BOTH STRAINING]

-[GRUNTS]
- Mmm?

Oh!

Ah!

[YELPS] My eye!

[GROUP GRUNTING]

Guys, I got it! Guys!

Oh.

[SHUDDERING]

[GROANS]

[THUDS]

We make a pretty great team.
Right, baby?

Sorry, love.
There is no "I" in "team."

But there is an "I" in, uh...

I have the crown! Goodbye!

They say if you love someone,
set them free.

But if you really
love someone...

-[DEVICE BEEPING]
- Plant a tracking device
on them.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]