02x30 - Acme Instant/When Marvin Comes Martian In

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Eureka! I've done it.

With these lithium powered
rocket skates,

I'll be able to travel
faster than ever before.

Now a five minute
trip to the store
will only take three minutes.

Really it's the little things,
you know.

Now, to buy
the lithium batteries
that will power my skates.

Hmm.

"ACME now delivers
instantly!" Ha!

That's not possible.

Well, I'm sure they
don't mean "instant" instant.

Yeah, but not as quick
as my lithium powered
rocket skates, no doubt.

Okay, let's just see
about that.

- Now, let's just see
how instant-- [GASPS]
-[DOORBELL RINGING]

[KNOCKING]

Impossible!

How can ACME deliver
something so quick?

Beep, beep.

Beep, beep.

[STAMMERING]

[GASPS]

I don't know why,

but something deep inside

tells me I must
destroy that bird.

This couldn't be easier.

All I have to do
is order something

and that Road Runner
comes right to my door.

With the help of my new
lithium powered rocket skates,

it'll be bye bye birdy.

[LAUGHS EVILLY]

Hmm, I can always use
a motion detecting
Electronet 3,000.

Now, to order and capture.

Beep, beep.

Beep, beep.

It's show time.

-[SHOES BEEP]
-[ROCKETS FLARING]

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

-[SHOES FIRING]
-[GRUNTING]

-[GRUNTING CONTINUES]
-[THUDDING]

[GRUNTS]

[SIGHS]

[SCREAMS]

[MURMURING]

[GRUNTS]

[GASPS]

-[THUDS]
- Ow.

[WHISTLING]

[SCREAMS]

[WEAKLY] Must get these

skates off!

[GRUNTING]

I hope I kept the receipt
for those batteries.

[GROANS]

-[BEEPING]
-[LAUGHS]

-[PHONE BEEPS]
-[LAUGHS]

Beep, beep!

-[KNOCKING]
- Beep, beep!

What the...

[GROWLS]

[MURMURING]

[GROWLS]

[GRUNTING]

[GASPS]

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

[STRAINING]

Ha, ha!

Beep, beep!

[GROANING]

[ZAPPING]

- Beep, beep!
-[SHRIEKS]

[GRUNTS]

Beep, beep!

Beep, beep!

Oh!

[GROANS]

Oh, that hurt.

[YELPS]

[BEEPS]

- Beep, beep!
-[GRUNTS]

- Beep, beep!
-[GRUNTS]

- Beep, beep!
-[GRUNTS]

- Beep, beep!
-[GRUNTS]

[SIGHS]

I think one more should do it.

Huzzah! Technology prevails.

Beep, beep!

[GRUNTING]

[YELPS]

[UNINTELLIGIBLE RAMBLING]

I have you now!

- Beep, beep!
-[SCREAMING]

[GRUNTING]

[SIGHS]

I'll get that bird
if it's the last thing...

[GRUNTS]

[COUGHING]

As I was saying...

- I'll get that bird if...
-[WHISTLING]

-[CRASHING]
-[ROCKETS FLARING]

Ah. The planet Earth.

I would love nothing more
than to conquer it.

Of course, before I initiate
invasion protocols,

it might be wise to
capture an inhabitant

so that I can study
and exploit its weaknesses.

Oh, goody, goody!

And he's a lively one, too.

Now, to capture him
with my transporter ray.

I love window shopping!
Whoo...

...Hoo!

Oh, peachy! It worked!

Greetings, inferior life form.

Allow me to show
your primitive brain around.

This is my replicator,

where I will make
a Martian army
to invade the Earth.

Martian army?

Boring!

I know, let's see
if it'll replicate
this cookie.

[ENERGY ZAPPING]

- Ooh...
- Yes.

Very nice.

Let's move on.

Wait a minute,
I wanna see it do it again.

-[ZAPPING]
- Again.

-[ZAPPING]
- Again.

Again! Again! Again! Again!
Again! Again! Again! Again!

Stop! Now my machine
is filled with cookies.

Don't worry, boss,
I'll clean it up.

[CHOMPING AND GULPING]

- Did you save me one?
- Nope.

-[BURPS]
- Oh!

These Earthlings
are positively grotesque.

I'm doing the universe a favor
by getting rid of them.

This is my Probulator.

It will find the nature
of your internal structures,

- then...
-[BLOWING]

Give me that!

- What does this do? Oops.
-[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

[POWERS DOWN]

Curious. It doesn't seem
to be working.

I wonder if the kilowatt
reader went down again.

[SHACKLES CLICKING]

[GROANING]

[WHIRRING]

- MARVIN: Hey!
-[CRASHING]

So aggressive...

Please, Earthling,

- turn off the machine.
-[WHIRRING CONTINUES]

[SHOUTING] Earthling!
Turn off the machine!

Oh, gosh! Sorry, pal.

-[MACHINE POWERS DOWN]
-[MURMURING]

Well, the good news
is the machine
is fully functional.

Yes, and the bad news is

the machine
is fully functional.

Enough messing around.

It's time to put you
into the Cerebro.

I will now peer into
your sub conscience
with my mind scanner,

and learn how to destroy
your doomed species

from the inside out.

[STATIC BUZZING]

Whoo...

Hoo...

[SINGING]

[SLURPING]

-[FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
-[KISSES]

[GIGGLES]

Wild.

Oh, enough of this nonsense.

Hey, I was watching that.

You have to leave now!

Leave? But I just got here.

If you don't leave,

I'm afraid I'm going
to have to...

- Ooh, cool toy.
- That is not a toy!

That is my disintegration ray.

-[FIRING]
-[GASPS]

-[ZAPPING]
-[CRUMBLING]

Cool. Hey!
What else you got around here?

No. No, no, no!
Don't touch anything.

I haven't even used these
cool juggling ba*ls. Catch!

That's nitroglycerin!

[GRUNTING]

- Oh, thank good...
-[EXPLODES]

Does everything in this place
explode, or just you?

- Whoo!
-[GRUNTS]

Check out this flat screen TV.

How do I get the football
game on this thing?

[ENGINES REVVING]

[GRUNTING]

-[CLANGS]
- DAFFY: Oopsie.

-[CLANGS]
- I got it this time.

-[CLANGS]
- Who put this moon here?

[CLANGS]

Hold on,
didn't check my mirror.

-[CLANGING]
- Like a pro!

-[CLANGS]
- I think I got it now.

-[CLANGS]
- I mean this time.

Man, there's so much for just
one duck to mess with.

I wish there was a way to make
more of me so I could...

Wait a minute.

There is!

-[ZAPPING]
-[CHEERING]

Oh, dear. No!

GROUP: Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

- Hey, Daffys, catch!
-[EXPLODES]

[WHIRRING]

Hey, Daffy, could I try?

Sure thing, Daffy.

-[WHIRRING]
- Make sure you
get those back molars.

Oh, no.
I've shrunk my Daffys.

Oh, well. Tumble dry low
and hope for the best.

Isn't this great?

It's marvelous,
you handsome devil, you.

-[LICKING]
-[SCREAMS]

- I can't take it anymore!
-[ZAPPING]

Protect the planet!
Save the Earth!

-[ZAPPING]
- Whoa!

Are you from outer space?

Oh, yes.

That is my spaceship.

[EXPLODES]

Well, that was my spaceship.

But it's much safer
down here.

Oh, there you are.

- We are looking for you.
- BOTH: So were we.

Say, do you like
window shopping?

Whoa!

- Run for your life!
- ALL: Whoo-hoo!

- The aliens are invading!
-[ALL CHEERING]

DAFFY: Whoo-hoo!