02x18 - 10-4, Good Bunny/Gold Medal Wabbit

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Still got it.

Well, Squeaks, we better
get this piano ready
to ship off to Albuquerque.

My nephew there can't wait
to start his music lessons.

- Did you hear me?
-[MUSIC PLAYING
OVER HEADPHONES]

Start packing, Squeaks.

[TALKING GIBBERISH]

Of course, I thought of
that.
That's why I rented that.

Our very own 18-wheeler.

This baby's got a 16-liter,


A wide, spacious cabin
and, of course, my
favorite...

[HORN BLARING]

Well, just don't stand
there.
Load her up.

[GROWLING]

[TALKING GIBBERISH]

Engine's ready.

-[HORN BLARES]
-[GASPS AND PANTS]

Time to put the pedal
to the metal.

And we're off.

MAN OVER RADIO:
Breaker one niner,
breaker one niner.

Anybody got their ears on
out there?

This is Bugs Bunny.
My ears are always on.
You can't miss 'em.

MAN: You might wanna
watch your speed there,
good bunny.

There's a Smokey in the
bushes
up ahead.

What? A Smokey?
So, there's a fire ahead?

MAN: No, a Smokey, a Kojak,
The Fuzz, Five-0, Padfoot,

Gum Shoe, Booze and Twos
County Mounty,
the Donut Patrol.

[TALKING GIBBERISH
IMITATING SIREN WAILING]

Oh, a policeman.

MAN: That's what I said.
There's a policeman
in the bushes up ahead.

Hmm, that truck is doing
the legal speed limit
of 55 miles per hour.

Well, just 'cause
someone's following
all the posted speed limits,

don't mean I can't
give him a ticket.

Yee-haw!

I don't see any policeman.

Ah, must have been
a false alarm.

Let's play some tunes.

♪ We're gonna
ride it at the law

♪ We're gonna ride
until we're free ♪

-[SIREN WAILING]
- Hey, you. Pull over.

Ya got till the count of
three
to pull...

[CLANGS]

[SIREN BEEPING]

I'm all right.
Just a few bumps.

[GRUNTS, YELLS]

I'm all right.
Just a few cactus needles.

-[SNAKE HISSING]
- Oh!

I'm all right.
Just a snake bite.

[GROWLING, SNARLING]

Nice doggies.
[WHISTLING SOFTLY]

[GROWLING]

I'm all right.

Just a few dog bites.

Oh, man.

[SCREAMS]

[GRUNTS]

I'm not all right.

We'll see how that rabbit
gets away from me after
these spikes pop his tires.

[SNICKERING]

Here he comes now.

[TALKING GIBBERISH]

This is my exit?

Well, how about a little
more warning next time?

Huh? [EXCLAIMS]

I'm gonna get that rabbit.
[GRUNTS]

[AIR WHOOSING]

Fric and fracken,
good-for-nothing,
no good spikes.

Oh, that rabbit is
on my last... [GRUNTS]

Yep, that was the wrong exit.
Whoops, hang on.

I had the map upside down.

Gonna take more
than one little truck
to keep me... [GRUNTS]

Two trucks might do it.

-[TALKING GIBBERISH]
--Exit 1
- A?

- Well that's
in the other direction.
-[TIRES SCREECHING]

I've gotta make
a four-point turn.

[GROANS, GRUNTS]

Three trucks. [GRUNTS]

-[TIRES SCREECHING]
-[GRUNTING]

[GROANS]

Let's see that rabbit outrun
this giant super magnet.

[GRUNTING]

[SNICKERING]

Come to Papa.

-[HORN BLARES]
-[GASPS]

[GULPS]

Whoa!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[EXHALES]
I think the worst is over.

No, it isn't! [GRUNTING]

[GASPS] Huh?

Plane. Satellite.

Ow! Beam me up, Scotty.

Since I can't stop
that rabbit in the road,

I'll stop him in the air,

with this here helicopter.

Excuse me.
Do you know which road
leads to Albuquerque?

It's the second exit
on your right.

- Thanks.
- Anytime, rabbit.
That's my job.

Rabbit? Gosh darn it.

You're mine, rabbit.

[BLADES WHIRRING]

I got ya now.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Hey!

[HELICOPTER BLADES SQUEAKING]

[BLOWING]

Spin, spin, spin.
Hey, it's working.

- It's working. It's work...
-[CRASHING]

SAM: Now I'm out
of my jurisdiction.

Thank goodness.

[STRAINING]
Squeaks, a little help here.

[TALKING GIBBERISH]

[GRUNTING]

[STRAINING] Made it.

Nephew, I lugged this piano
all the way across the country
so you could play it.

Eh, thanks anyway, Uncle Bugs,
but I play the violin now.

[VIOLIN MUSIC]

Sheesh, that kid plays
any faster, he's gonna get
a ticket.

[g*nsh*t]

ANNOUNCER: And they're off.

And so begins the Whole Buncha
Countries Games,

where a whole bunch
of countries come together

to compete in a whole bunch
of games.

[GRUNTING]

I made it.
Hollywood, California.

The land of suntan,
swimming pools... [GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS] Huh?

ANNOUNCER: A new world record.

You're taking home the gold.

[GRUNTS] It's my gold, rabbit.
Give it to me.

- Who are you?
- I am Cal,

the greatest track and field
athlete of all time.

And this is my zone,

my Cal zone.

Well, you win some,
you lose some, doc.

Not me, I never lose.

That medal is mine
because I am a winner.

I'm such a big winner,
my face is everywhere.

Cereal boxes, doggy treats,
even chewable laxatives.

[CHUCKLING] What?
Everybody poops.

Hmm, so are you saying this
isn't Hollywood, California?

But I wanted to see stars.

You want to see stars?

I'll show you stars.

[CLANGS]

Those are not the stars
I was talking about.

-[g*nsh*t]
- ANNOUNCER: And they're off.

[PANTING, GRUNTING]

Bet you can't win
the race backwards.

[GRUNTS] I can win in any
direction you choose. See?

How about on your tippy toes?

Not a problem.

Like a Russian folk dancer?

Da. Just watch, darling.

Well, I bet you can't win
smashing through
all the hurdles.

Just try and stop me.

[HURDLES CRASHING]

Eh, not bad.

[LAUGHING]
I told you I would win.

ANNOUNCER: And the winner i
Bugs Bunny.

Huh?

[CROWD CHEERING]

What? The rabbit won?

But how?

Those are the rules, champ.

You get disqualified
if you break all the
hurdles.

You may have beaten me
at all the hurdles,

but let us see if you can
beat me at the discus.

[GRUNTING]

Gnarly throw, bro. Back at ya.

I'm ready for my med... Oh!
[GRUNTS]

[GROANS, GRUNTS]

Why, you!

[GRUNTS]

Bodacious arm, Brosius.

You throw a mean disk.

Try this on for size.

I am waiting for my medal. Oh!

[GRUNTING]

Hey, Throw Springsteen.

That throw was boss. Go deep.

[GASPS, PANTING] Oh!

[CAL ON JUMBOTRON]:
Cal's chewable laxatives.

Get your runners
to the finish line.

ANNOUNCER: After throwing
the discus out of the
stadium,

the winner is Bugs Bunny.

Whoa, sweet necklace.

How does the rabbit
keep winning?

Two words.

Fried chicken.

Eats buckets and buckets
of fried chicken
before every event.

I should know. I trained him.

And I can train you, too.

Yes, yes, train me.

Okay, but you're gonna
have to work harder than
you ever have before.

[GULPS]

BUGS: That's it, kid.

[MUNCHING]

Eat, eat.
Stuff it down your throat.

Chew, chew, chew.
Swallow, swallow, swallow.

- What are you, tired?
-[GAGS]

You can't be tired.

If you wanna win you gotta eat
like there is no tomorrow.

If he keeps eating like
this,
there won't be.

One and two, one and two.
Up, down, up, down.

These chickens
ain't gonna eat themselves,
pretty boy.

[GULPING, GAGGING]

You got it.

You got the eye
of the chicken.

Now, go throw this javelin.

[GROANING]

You call that a throw?

All right, watch this, kid.
[GRUNTS]

ANNOUNCER:
Bugs Bunny wins the javelin.

- Yay!
-[CROWD CHEERING]

Huh? [GRUNTING]

You are mine, rabbit.

[GRUNTING]

[PANTING]

[YELLING]

[GROWLING, GRUNTING]

Ah! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

[GRUNTING]

[EXCLAIMING]

[CLANGS]

Can I borrow this
for just a second?

Give me that, rabbit.

Get out of my zone.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

There it is, finally.

I can banish this rabbit.

No!

ANNOUNCER:
And it's Bugs Bunny by a
hair.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Bugs Bunny has won every event

in the Whole Buncha
Countries Games.

[CROWD CHEERING]

No! [CRYING]

Those are my medals.

They should be in my zone.

Mine!

[BLOWS NOSE]

Obviously, he doesn't
realize that nobody
meddles with a rabbit.