[babbles]
[whooshes]
[chimes]
[upbeat music]
♪ Kevin Spencer ♪
♪ Something wrong with that kid ♪
♪ Kevin Spencer ♪
♪ Dad don't like it never did ♪
[dramatic musical sting]
♪ Something wrong with that kid ♪
♪ He's a king from an
alcoholic sociopath ♪
♪ Kevin Spencer ♪
♪ You better not cross his path ♪
♪ Kevin Spencer ♪
♪ He's a chain smokin'
alcoholic sociopath ♪
♪ Sociopath ♪
Oh not this crap again.
[whooshes]
[upbeat music]
You couldn't do it Annie.
I'm Anastasia,
the one who called about
divorcing my husband Percy again.
Ah yes.
I read those financial statements.
You
[whooshes]
so kindly word it up for me.
And?
Bad news.
Your husband might sue you for support.
[buzzes]
[bouncy piano sound]
[slurps] sue me for support?
What?
You've been his meal ticket for years,
numbers don't lie.
[bouncy music]
Jesus,
look how long I've been
carrying this as*h*le.
To think that too, time and b*stard
might sue you out of half everything.
[rustles]
[splutters]
Maybe I'll just torch
his mattress again.
He might sleep to [mumbles] it for once
Too timing.
Well, if he's been so
obviously whoring around,
get some evidence.
Considering there's
impressionable children involved,
it might swing the judge your way.
Looks like everyone in
this building swings my way.
We need physical evidence Annie.
Some that'll stand up in court.
[snarls]
Better hire a detective.
Hey boy, you know any private
shamus who might help us out?
[upbeat music]
[whizzes]
♪ Who's the man who got
[mumbles] to ride up a*s ♪
♪ Afro man ♪
♪ Straight up ♪
♪ Whoo woo hooo ♪
♪ Is the cover V to the
ladies always need to feed ♪
♪ Afro ♪
Like many of our
country's founding fathers
I come to the Canada to
get into adult movies.
Dang, I notice most about Canada
Lots of white people everywhere
and a few black folk I did meet
seem to be lacking a certain something.
Hey dog, what it is brother?
I wouldn't know.
I am Darryl from Sarnia.
Hmm, this is going to
take them extra South.
Listen Darryl from Sarnia,
the next time I'd be walking in this door
I want to hear the word
what up m*therf*cker
coming out of your mouth, dig.
Certainly, the men's room
was just down the hall on the left, big.
Men's room
[rustles]
You telling me you really
don't understand me?
Your method of speed
is a bit anachronistic.
I'm a complex, beautiful creature
with depth beyond some
jazzed up, B bonic style
of expressing myself.
Now if you're interested,
we have some openings in
private security and adult film.
Sometimes both at the same time.
[upbeat music]
Canadian.
This country needed my help,
so I buttoned down and I mean button down.
♪ She's an undercover d*ck ♪
♪ And he works to thrill
the Northern chicks ♪
♪ Afro man ♪
[upbeat music]
[door clangs]
Hey Afroman,
the boy says you do spousal
investigations on this side.
Only if the case
[chair squishes]
is as dangerous as your a*s.
No, but it's big.
Like your a*s?
Do you want my business or what?
Sorry what's the cape?
[clatters]
I think my husband Percy
is been too timing me.
[laughs]
[yowls]
Woman, I can't believe
you need a detective
to figure that out.
Every jealous husband in town
is out gunning for Percy.
I know that.
But this time I need pictures,
so that I can divorce him legal.
Kevin was startled at how 50%
of most marriages ended in divorce
and yet people still seem
to cling to the ferry tale.
[clatters]
[squishes]
If there's one thing I
learned about being a detective,
it's that marriages are like houses son.
People have to start at home,
so they should have
their start of marriage.
And once they finish
f*cking up the first one,
just move on.
I take the case, Mrs. Spencer.
[forlorn bluesy music]
Hey, Afroman.
It's time to scoot to
the sh**t or the shooped.
Oops, got to get back to my main job.
They're making a movie
about the courageous tale
[paper rustles]
of how black lumberjacks helped
build the Canadian frontier.
[growls]
Oh, sounds brazen.
It's called log sh**t shooters.
It's a scratch and sniff porno.
Here, have a try.
[scrapes]
[gulps]
[yells]
That would [mumbles] for sure.
[sneezes]
[trots]
[splutters]
[coughs]
[gulps]
[sneezes]
[coughs]
[sneezes]
[fizzes]
[upbeat music]
Kevin was in the basement
sorting through all the garbage
that collected over the years.
The Spencer family didn't
have what you'd call
a finished basement,
unless you use the word finished
in the pejorative sense.
And since his folks were
finally gonna split for good,
Kevin figured he'd better
lay claim on any sh*t
he wanted to keep for himself.
[splutters]
[rustles]
[Storyland slots]
[twirls]
Don't you have some
place to be tonight?
[clangs]
No, just some quiet night
plugging the pooch on the couch.
You know, I don't mind if
you want to have an idea south
How are the boys or girls?
[whizzes]
That's about the time
Kevin walked in with a
compromising r*cist photo
of his great-grandpa.
Holy fray, where'd you find that boy?
In case you didn't know,
you come from a real showbiz family.
You got to be f*cking kidding.
Yeah, great grandpa played the banjo
and thing old black spiritual
for railroad workers.
[chimes]
[lighthearted guitar music]
I find this sort of niche
school Joe entertainment,
r*cist and offensive.
Now, send me another China
man to blow up in the tunnels.
[spooky haunting sound]
[booms]
[clatters]
[people cheer]
[chimes]
[chuckles]
Hey, maybe I had a polish
[mumbles] and thought act.
[dramatic guitor music]
What? f*ck Percy.
If he had tried a r*cist
stunt like that today.
Well, We would've to strap a
bulletproof banjo is a law.
Hey, I ain't no f*cking r*cist.
I'm just telling you the
way things used to be.
[upbeat music]
Kevin told his parents
that he wanted to learn
more about society's
disgusting history of race relations.
But that his school
had already burned all
of it's Mark Twain books.
They should burn more books.
They are always looking
for some kind of alternative fuel source.
[forlorn bluesy music]
[chimes]
[shrieks]
[bangs]
[buzzes]
[toots]
[scrapes]
[rumbles]
[car engine revs]
[people wail]
[sputters]
That's right looers, the
future is powered by suckers
[laughs loudly]
[chimes]
Day three.
I've been shadowing the
suspect for many hours.
We didn't here of anything,
suspiciously sexy.
[forlorn bluesy music]
Finally I got enough money.
Now I can pay that chick
to give me that f*ck
I've been wanting.
[bell chimes]
[door clangs]
[fizzes]
[sputters]
I want that f*ck you've
been telling me about.
Why don't you get started
by taking off your shirt
because this is going to hurt, mister.
Be careful, I'm on medication.
What medication?
Viagra.
[chuckles]
[trots]
[splutters]
Oh, that's sh*t.
[splutters]
You did a good job there, Tiffany.
You'll be able to open
your own shop and no time.
But the wife liked it.
Remember and it's only
going for a few weeks.
What? You mean it's temporary?
What kind of temporary tattoo
uses needle for f*ck day.
[hisses]
The serious kind.
[honks]
Damn,
he's just getting a tattoo.
[haunting spooking sound]
[rustles]
[chimes]
[trots]
[errie music]
Hearing anything interesting?
What the...
Ooh, spying on Afroman. Huh?
Let's do it.
[bouncy music]
[toots]
[thuds]
Come on [mumbles]
I know you
[toots]
Oh yeah.
[thuds]
Come on, back it up
[thuds]
[whizzes]
[clangs]
[thuds]
[bangs]
I know you.
You're Dianamo [mumbles]
The kicking's sister North at the boarder.
[bouncy piano music]
And your Afroman,
the guy that called the ever North pole.
Let's do it, again.
[moans]
[groans]
[screams]
[slurps]
I have an idea Afroman.
Why don't we join forces, baby?
We can help with these
others investigations.
Allow me to submit, the deal.
Oh yeah.
[car engine roars]
[tires screech]
[lighthearted guitar music]
[playful flute music]
Wish we had one of them Plasma screen
high definition TV set.
So why don't you go
buy one then, Bill Gates?
My uncle's TV and good enough now.
They say it's like
looking out a window?
[spooky haunting sound]
Hey,
you know what else is
like looking out a window?
Look it out a window you f*ck idiot.
I'm getting a mail.
Maybe one your girlfriend's
wrote a love Letter.
You wish fatty.
Holy sh*t, that's [mumbles] grade.
They make a guide thumb
[whooshes]
look like a face.
[clinks]
Then they recreate all
movie themes with chimps.
It's f*cking hilarious.
[chuckles]
I'm going to give that
movie a big thumb up.
Hey, hey. Yeah,
up your a*s
[laughs]
[growls]
Free samples of sh*t I can't use.
What's this?
Property Tax Assessment?
[spooky haunting sound]
Are you serious?
This house ain't worth that much.
Do they know about the room I
used to the toilet for a month
without it actually being a toilet.
[rustles]
Christ.
we're barely rolling over
the interest on his sh*thole
and now we get bombed on the property tax.
When are you going to bring some money
[spooky haunting sound]
into this place
Friggin McNaughton.
Ever since they [mumbles]
Suddenly, every house in a neighborhood
[chimes]
is worth a hundred grand more.
Someone had to torch that thing.
What the hell is this?
You got a letter here
from a woman named Crystal
the Tigress Mcslut.
[spooky haunting sound]
That does it Percy admit it
On top of everything else,
you've been f*cking around.
[splutters]
Relax already.
That's just Pity Wilcox from the joint.
He always sends me mail
under the psuedo name
on account at being of [mumbles] and sh*t.
Read it if you want
[rustles]
[growls]
Well. Okay then
Oh, and in case you're interested
to giving him the death penalty in Texas.
[whizzes]
[paper rustles]
No, I'm not interested.
What's your problem these days?
It's like you don't trust me.
For once, I'm not whoring around on you
and you just keep on loading all over me.
It just got a lot of big
decisions to make us all.
[moans]
[couch squishes]
[crackles]
[chimes]
[air whooshes]
Lah, lah, doh, reh mii,
what comes after mii, mii?
Lah-lah
doh, doh, doh
[bangs]
[spooky haunting sound]
[whizzes]
Jack it off boy,
I'm going to show your
mother who is a r*cist is.
I'm going to go earn some
money for that freaken house
just like she said.
Kevin asks the old man,
how the f*ck he intended to do that.
Going to do grandpa's old minstrel show
at the bus terminal.
After eight, your old man ain't above,
I bet a panhandling.
And if get up will make me stand out.
[bouncy music]
Kevin said he thought
this was the best idea,
of course had ever had
in his entire for life.
In fact, if there were some award
to be presented for good ideas,
Of course deserve one for this jam.
Mostly because he wanted
to see the old man
get the snot kicked out of him
on a public street.
f*cking right.
[bouncy piano music]
[trots]
[squishes]
Oh, thank you, you see there sir.
If you're talking about your t*ts,
that page is in my scrapbook already.
I am talking about Spencer,
the guy you've been following
he is in Some kind of weird disguise.
Looks like he's done
himself a black, a black dude.
He must know we're following him.
I keep tagging in case
he tries to shake us.
[tires screech]
Hey jack, stop making
an a*s of yourself.
[car engine revs]
f*ck you r*cist.
[bouncy piano music]
Do you have any idea
how offensive that is?
You're just sh1tting
on me because I'm black
Percy didn't seem to understand
that the reason people
were sh1tting on him
wasn't because they thought he was black,
but because he was a White Tr*sh loser
pretending to act like a stereotype.
Like many white rappers
and Elvis impersonators.
I better dack in here
before someone tries to lynch me.
[trots]
[door whooshes]
[squishes]
[whizzes]
[bottle clinks]
[dog barks]
[bottle clinks]
[upbeat music]
[buzzes]
You know, my husband and
I have an open relationship
and well I'm just going to
come right out and say it.
You're giving me jungle fever.
[car engine revs]
[upbeat music]
Damn, we lost him in the [mumbles] mall
I am going to move
in from the rear baby.
You just keep that entrance plugged up
nice and tight.
You got that baby.
Don't dandle.
It sounds like he's
about to take the bait.
How'd you like to come back to my place
and cause I rackets in my rampus room.
You're not just doing that
because I'm black, right?
Of course not.
My little chocolate solider.
[trots]
[whizzes]
Damn. He got away.
[shrieks]
[bouncy piano music]
Hey kid, I need some information.
[whizzes]
[door clangs]
Well, she was round here.
Let spread out and see what we can find.
[bangs]
[sputters]
[rumbles]
[up beat music]
[crackles]
A need to more stupid [mumbles]
[crackles]
[toots]
[milk splashes]
Look who come to Coleen for the [mumbles]
It's delicious, [mumbles]
who let the knowledge lose.
I know what you're looking for,
you want the fat man.
It's time for the fat man to go down.
Everyone talking about
it all over the East side
know where is,
the fat is...
[toots]
Oh, sh*t
Oh, f*ck
[toots]
They going to [mumbles] good boy
Listen
[coughs]
The fat man is
[bleats]
That's the [mumbles]
[toots]
[groans]
[bouncy piano music]
[trots]
[rustles]
[spooky haunting sound]
[bouncy piano music]
I'll be ready in a second.
[shrieks]
[snarls]
Hey, that's sure is a nice
d*ck you got out there.
Yeah, but come to think of it.
Nice, d*ck got in here too, baby.
[trots]
He's making his move.
Let's make ours baby.
[whizzes]
[moans]
It's like I'm seeing
[whizzes]
flashing lights.
I think you're skin is rubbing off on me.
[whizzes]
Mission accomplished.
Thumb Thielen busted.
[rustles]
[whizzes]
Well, look at here
Oh no.
Who [mumbles] those guys?
I never told you what I
was investigating when we met.
They're my arch enemies.
A group of militant Canadian racists.
The Klu Klux clowns.
Now, why on earth would you ghetto fool
be spying on a respectable
white lady like that?
[bouncy music]
[thuds]
[thuds]
[toots]
There's too many.
We can't win.
Nice working with you Afroman
Some guys are hard to find good,
but
[moans]
you're good to find [mumbles] baby.
I sampled my share from
the booty buffet, baby.
But I'll always remember,
nobody blows like Dionoma
Fine. I am leaving,
but I'm torching that's expensive
bullshit decker of yours
to protest your intolerance
[door clangs]
[bangs]
[screams]
I'm on fire [mumbles]
[whizzes]
[fire rattles]
[spooks scream]
[toots]
[yells]
I'm burning
[mumbles]
[toots]
What's with all these guiding sheep?
Looks like a bunch of spooks?
You saved us.
Percy Spencer,
I got something to say to you.
I'm not a f*ck' r*cist.
No, of course you're not.
In fact, you're more than that,
much more
[splutters]
I'm not [mumbles] neither
in case you're wandering.
[bouncy piano music]
It's time for the Black
Canadian Achievement Awards.
Here's your host,
hip hop gangster rapper,
[crowd claps]
ICU
and his cohost,
a puppet of a racially nondescript origin
who hosts the children's
show, Rainbow Glen.
Finally, we have our
own separate network,
our own separate award show.
Now we can show the world
[screams]
how we're just not everyone else.
[audience applauds]
Also, I want to thank this year's sponsor
the Society for Literacy
and tell them, yo f*ck, whatever.
Thanks ICU,
and now this year's award for
heroism against race hatred
goes to Percy Spencer
[screams]
[audience applauds]
I'm here to tell you sh*t bank
that black people still
don't get treated the same
or hired with much and stuff.
I tried to play my
banjo at the bus station
and the cops chased my a*s out.
So you can fix your stupid a
warrant up your f*cking a*s.
Yo. Hey Percy,
we're trying to give you this award
because you tried to help
us change the system.
[thuds]
Don't double talk me
[toots]
you son of a b*tch.
[thuds]
[upbeat music]
What a great guy.
Yeah, it's almost a shame
we have to turn all this
evidence over to his wife.
[laughs]
Let's do it.
[forlorn bluesy music]
[splutters]
[audience cheers]
[moans]
[upbeat music]
Nah, I don't feels like
divorcing him no more.
It turns out if Vivica dies in combat,
I still don't get a widow's pension.
And besides,
[chimes]
we all like the same reality shows.
But Mrs. Spencer,
[paper rustles]
we got him dead to rights.
[growls]
Part of me wants to
look at those pictures,
but another more important part of me
don't want to pay you.
So why don't you just
haul a*s out of here.
[toots]
[bass thumping beat]
[bangs]
[trots]
I got an idea Afroman.
What's say you and I make
ours a full partnership,
That sounds like marriage, baby.
It is.
Put it in boxes to stop messing around.
I got a partner pawnman.
I'm saying, baby, that we
could finally give a media voice
to Afro-Canadians
in a way that isn't just
hip hop and gangster rap.
Now, come on.
Don't make it sound as bad as all that.
[babbles]
This episode, completely
voice, drawn and written
by white people.
Hey, we meet well.
[upbeat music]
♪ Oh, he's an under cover d*ck ♪
♪ Likes to thrilled and Northern chips ♪
♪ Afro man ♪
♪ Straight up ♪
♪ Hoo whoo hooo ♪
[babbles]
[whooshes]
[bell rings]
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