01x04 - A Pillar of the Community

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music]

♪ Kevin Spencer ♪

♪ Something's wrong with that kid ♪

♪ Kevin Spencer ♪

♪ His head don't work ♪

♪ It never did ♪

♪ Kevin Spencer ♪

♪ You better not cross his path ♪

♪ Kevin Spencer ♪

♪ He's a chain-smoking, alcoholic ♪

♪ Sociopath ♪

♪ Sociopath ♪

[piano music]

- [Narrator] It was Wednesday afternoon

and Kevin had another appointment

with Mr Franklin the prison psychiatrist.

Kevin had more appointments
with Mr Franklin

than any other inmate in the prison.

Kevin's dad said that was because his head

was a whole lot more broken.

They were meeting in
a new office this week

because Kevin had shown
up for as last appointment

with a head full of glue,

and had set Mr Franklin's
old office on fire.

Kevin set a lot of fires
because his imaginary friend,

Allen the Magic Goose, told him

it would make him popular
with the other inmates.

Allen forgot to tell him how the warden

and guards felt about fire.

Kevin sure wished he had remembered

because he didn't much like

getting hit with
nightsticks and flashlights.

- You seem to both desire
to fit in with the crowd,

yet you constantly undermine that goal

by a pattern of aggression towards them.

I suspect your fear of
rejection by your peer group

overrides your desire
to become one of them.

Causing you to subconsciously
sabotage yourself.

It's a classic case of low self-esteem

manifesting itself in
self destructive behavior.

And that tells me that deep down,

you believe yourself
unworthy of the friendship

and camaraderie you so desperately seek.

- Blah, blah, blah.

Hey psycho, I dare you
to set his desk on fire.

[lighter flicking]

[water splashing]

- Remember our little talk, Kevin?

Setting fires is a wrong thing to do.

A wrong thing.

Now, having just read Sally
Jessy Raphael's new book,

Finding the Rainbow Within,

I've decided that you would
benefit from group therapy.

In the meantime, I feel it
would be a good use of our time

to continue one on one to try

and get to the root of your anger issues.

- The drapes Kevin the drapes.

[laughing]

[lighter flicking]

- Wrong thing Kevin!

Wrong thing.

[dramatic music]

- [Narrator] Kevin was 10 years old

and he'd just been
caught shoplifting smokes

and lottery tickets for his parents,

and some comic books and
some cough syrup for himself.

It was the 24th time
Kevin has been arrested.

Kevin's mum and dad weren't too happy

because that meant that they
were going to do without smokes

until their next child
support check came through.

- Given the lengthy
record of the defendant

and his refusal to express remorse,

the prosecution request
that your honor impose

the maximin penalties
allowed under the law.

- Before I sentence you Kevin,

is there anything you
wish to say to this court?

- Tell him his wife was the worst hooker

you ever paid for and
you want your money back.

[glass shattering]

- [Narrator] The judge
was pretty angry at Kevin

for calling his wife a prost*tute.

Kevin's mum thought it
was really funny though.

And she laughed so hard that
she started to hyperventilate,

and passed out and banged
her head on a chair.

Kevin's dad thought this was even funnier

and he laughed so hard
he that he wet his pants.

Kevin's dad wet his pants
a lot because the years

of drinking had pretty much
wrecked his liver and bladder.

- Rather then sending you
to a juvenile facility,

I've opted sentence you to three
months of community service

on a government subsidized farm.

I would also recommend
that your mother and father

enroll in a parenting class
and that upon your release

you all attend meetings
with a family therapist.

- My head ain't busted ya effin a hole.

- Geez Louise judge well fed
or on the cover bingo and boobs

we ain't got no money for
fixing the boys mentals.

- This is your son we're talking about.

I suggest you start taking
his development seriously

he'll never amount to anything
if you two degenerates

refuse to become better role models.

- [Narrator] Kevin's old man wasn't

in the mood for a lecture.

He figured he'd show that
judge a thing or two.

So he took the bottle of
wine from his coat pocket,

finished the little bit was left,

and threw the bottle right at the judge.

[bottle hitting]
- Ooh!

[punching]

- Uh Jesus,

not again.

I'll wait for you sugar.

Mama loves you.

[dreamy music]

[country music]

- [Narrator] Kevin had
never been on a farm before

and he was pretty excited.

The man who ran the farm said
his name was John McCaffrey

but that his friends called him Chewy

because he chewed so much tobacco.

Kevin thought Chewy was the
coolest person he'd ever met.

That night in his bunk
Kevin decided he'd try

chewing some tobacco.

Chewy hadn't explained the difference

between cigarette tobacco
and chewing tobacco to Kevin.

Kevin threw up for six hours.

He finally fell asleep
at five in the morning.

[rooster crowing]

[thumping door]

- Wake up Spencer
there's chores need doing

and you're the one what's doing them.

- [Narrator] Kevin didn't much like

the thought of getting up.

He wasn't used to waking up early

because his parents didn't have jobs

and usually slept until noon.

And because they pawned the alarm clock

for money to bet at the track.

[door thumping]

- Fill the trough and mind your step.

Pigs nearly trampled the last boy to death

and he was bigger than you.

When you're done that,

go fill this basket with
eggs from the chicken farm.

And don't break none, 'cos
that's your breakfast.

That and a bowl of hot milk

straight out of that cow's dirty t*ts.

I'm gonna be on the chair
on the porch havin' a chew.

Giddy up dog, delinquent.

[country music]

- [Narrator] Kevin really
wanted to impress Chewy,

so he decided he'd try extra
hard to feed the pigs properly.

The pigs didn't seem to care much

that Kevin was new at this.

And they kept knocking him down.

[pigs grunting]

- You don't gotta take that.

Show them pigs who's boss.

Hit a pig boy, hit a pig.

- [Narrator] Kevin was pretty
sure hitting one of the pigs

wouldn't go over too well with Chewy.

But he figured he'd bide his time

and take it out on the chickens

when he was in the barn
and Chewy couldn't see him.

[country music]

[cutlery clattering]

- Eat fast kid, you got seven
miles of fence to put in.

Half a mile a day gets you supper.

You get more done, I'll see what I can do

about an extra blanket.

Less than that, and you'll be wishing

you were back with the pigs.

- [Narrator] Kevin was
itching to crank Chewy

a real sweet one in the stomach.

But because Chewy would likely
clean his clock if he did,

Kevin figured he'd wait
until Chewy was asleep

before he learned him a good one.

- Time's up punk.

You pick up where the last four left off.

You need anything, I'll be
in my chair having a chew.

[country music]

- [Narrator] Kevin had
never built a fence before.

But he had a pretty good idea
of how they went together

because he'd spent so much time in cages

in juvenile detention centers.

The first hole he dug wasn't deep enough

and the fence post kept falling over.

Kevin wasn't sure what to do.

Then he remembered something
his father had taught him.

- Government'll pay ya for not working.

So screw it.

[glass shattering]

[laughing]

- [Narrator] So Kevin quit
and decided to kick back

and have a smoke and get good and drilled

on the cough syrup he'd snuck along

to help pass the time.

- Let the good times roll baby.

[rock music]

[tires screeching]

- [Narrator] After a couple
of hours of good times,

Kevin ran out of cough syrup

and was down to his last two smokes.

He had another pack back at the house,

but he wasn't too keen on seeing Chewy.

- Farming's for juds anyway.

Let's you and me steal the tractor

and get some booze and go.

- [Narrator] Kevin was pretty
sure you weren't allowed

to drive a tractor in the city.

And even if you were,

he'd still be too young to do it anyway.

But then if he was the kind
of kid that paid attention

to rules in class, he wouldn't
be there in the first place.

So Kevin figured "What the hell?"

[screaming]

Driving a tractor in the
city was a lot harder

because there were a
lot more things to hit.

Like drug stores, for instance.

Kevin figured since he was there anyway,

he might just as well help
himself to more cough syrup.

Kevin took a little too
long helping himself,

and drank a little too
much while he was doing it.

[dismal music]

The judge wasn't too
happy about seeing Kevin

back in court so soon.

He was even less happy
when Kevin waved hello.

[gavel banging]

Kevin was sentenced to eight months

in a juvenile detention center.

Which was okay by him because he figured

it would be a hell of a lot easier

than digging a bunch of
holes for fence posts.

[sneaky music]

- I'd like everyone to
welcome out newest member.

This is Kevin Spencer.

Kevin, this is Vinnie Brown and,

well I guess you know the rest of them

being family and all.

- Hey boy.

- What's doin' Kev?

- Why don't we pick up
where we left off last week.

Ike, you were telling us
about your anger problems.

- You're damn right I was.

Booze makes it hard for
me to control my temper.

- Me too.

- Ditto muchachow.

- Yeah, but my temper's
way worse than yours.

- That's crap you moron.

- Ain't none of you got nothing on me

when it comes to temper.

- The hell I don't arsehole.

- You want a piece of
me you crazy b*stard?

[yelling and fighting]

- Yes, well I did say it
was good to vent your anger.

However, there's a right
way to vent your anger

and a wrong way to vent your anger.

How about instead of
discussing issues of anger,

we instead focus on ways
in which to control anger.

Hmm, Kevin.

Perhaps you'd like to speak on your...

- [Narrator] Public
speaking made Kevin nervous.

But because he didn't
want all his relatives

to think he was chicken,

Kevin decided to tell them about

the first time he underwent
court ordered shock treatment.

[zapping]

[crying]

[seagulls chirping]

- Everyone, we have a
special treat this week.

This is Elizabeth Armstrong
and she's brought her crystals.

She's going to help us
talk through our issues

of alienation and hostility.

And offer some constructive criticism

that will help us all
develop into better people.

We are very fortunate to have
a woman of her expertise.

Her list of credentials is awe inspiring.

Including three years as
a researcher for Oprah,

five years as an associate
producer on the Ricky Lake show,

and two years as a staff
writer at Hallmark Cards.

Miss Armstrong.

- Hi everyone, I'd just like to say that

it rejuvenates my aura just being here.

I am certain that by the
end of today's session,

we will all have taken a big step

to us finding our inner ocean.

I'd like to start with
a breathing exercise

and then we'll take
turns shifting the blame

for our individual problems
to society and your parents.

- [Narrator] Kevin
thought Miss Armstrong was

the prettiest girl he'd ever seen.

He decided he loved her.

Kevin really wanted to ask her out.

[bubble bursting]

- Me, I figure it was because
my dad was always wicked.

He didn't have time for
me when I was a kid,

so when I turned 16,

I quit school and I robbed
a bunch of gas stations.

I don't figure I'll never change.

- Never say never, Slappy.

Remember today is the first
day of the rest of your life.

[clapping]

- She's hot for you crazy man.

Ask her out.

- First time I got arrested
was for beating up some kid

and stealing his bike.

But you know, ah, like,
you watch TV all the time,

and, you know, ah, look
in stores and whatever,

and it's like yeah, there
are bikes everywhere.

And I didn't have one, you know.

Ah, they shouldn't have
been teasing me like that.

- That is good Phillip.

The first step towards rehabilitation

is the willingness to accept your portion

of responsibility in your crimes.

We all have our own bicycles
to deal with don't we?

That is right,

that is very good.

Keep breathing and visualizing.

Now, Kevin, would you like to share?

- [Narrator] Kevin froze
in self conscious fear.

He wanted to tell Miss
Armstrong how pretty

he thought she was, but
he couldn't say a word.

- Jeepers, my boy's got it
for you bad, Miss Armstrong.

He always gets like that
when he likes a girl.

But he's too damn scared to do nothing.

[laughing]

♪ Kevin and Elizabeth sitting in a tree ♪

♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G ♪

♪ First comes love ♪

♪ Then... ♪

[lighter flicking]

- Bravo, now ask her out, lunatic.

- Perhaps that will be enough for today.

- Guards, guards!

- [Narrator] Kevin took a deep breath.

He figured this was the only
chance he would ever have.

So before the guards took him away,

Kevin asked Miss Armstrong
if she would marry him.

[laughing]

The guards burst our laughing.

And so did Miss Armstrong.

- Even if I was stupid
enough to date a convict,

it sure as hell would not be you.

[laughing]

- [Narrator] That night,
Kevin sat in his cell

feeling sorry for himself.

And drinking some contraband booze.

He was really embarrassed by
what Miss Armstrong had said.

So he figured he'd break out of prison

and get real jimmied up on
prescription cough syrup.

[piano music]

[truck horn blaring]

- Kevin, I'm curious about your allegiance

to your imaginary friend, Allen.

It seems as though he
has a hold on you psyche

that effectively establishes
a master, sl*ve relationship.

If it in you feel powerless
to say "No" to his commands,

I think it would benefit
us both if we were

to further explore your
relationship with Allen

and your subconscious
desire to please him.

[thrilling music]

[alarm blaring]

[piano music]

- [Narrator] Kevin was released from

the juvenile detention
center two months early

in order to perform 1,200
hours of community service

by working as a greeter
for a department store.

It was the first job Kevin had ever had

and he was really nervous.

So before he went in, he drank two bottles

of prescription cough
syrup and had a few smokes,

just to take the edge off.

- You're late, idiot.

If it happens again,
you'll find your sorry a*s

back in the joint quicker
than you can say Jim Dandy.

Put on this tie, go
stand by the front door

and make nice.

[piano music]

- [Narrator] Kevin stood by the front door

and said "Hello" to the
first few customers.

He really wanted to do a good job.

But not as much as he really wanted

to get some more cough syrup.

Kevin figured it was about
time for his break anyway.

So he decided to wander around the store,

and maybe steal some things he liked.

- You might want to think about
a blazer to go with that tie

and a, oh, a television set.

[bowling ball rumbling]

- [Narrator] It was family
day at the department store.

And they were having a big
Mother Goose in-store promotion.

- Idiot kids climbing all over me.

- But yeah, when you drank yourself

out of the children's party circuit,

so quit your bitching.

- Look, it's hot as Hades
in this fricken thing.

I've been damned near my whole
break trying to take a leak.

- You should try walking
a mile in these shoes.

- Break's over losers.

Get your asses back out there

and make the kids happy.

Sell, sell, sell.

Get the little b*stards harping

at their parents for new toys.

Tell them their parents promised you

they'd buy the kids whatever they wanted.

If that don't work,

tell them you're dying
and you need the money

for a life saving operation.

Tears equals sales.

Giddy up.

Go.

- [Narrator] Kevin was hiding
behind a rack of clothes,

having a smoke, when the
man dressed as Mother Goose

came out of the back room.

Maybe it was just the cough syrup talking,

but when Kevin saw the man
putting his goose head back on,

he got real scared.

Kevin figured the man was evil

and had taken over Allen's soul.

Kevin didn't much like the thought

of somebody taking over Allen's soul

and living inside his body.

So he figured he'd straighten
things out right quick.

- Hey kids, look at all these new toys.

I sure wish I could
play with them forever,

but that probably wouldn't happen

because I have Necrotizing
Fascitis and I'm gonna die

unless I sell enough of
them to afford medical help.

[sniffling]

You don't want the big
fun goose to die do you?

- [Narrator] Kevin waited until the goose

had his back turned to him and
was talking to all the kids.

Then he snuck up behind him really quickly

and smacked him a real sweet
one in the back of the head

with an arm he'd taken off a mannequin.

[gasps]

The goose never saw it coming
and his head came right off.

All the kids screamed.

[screaming]

Kevin figured this was
because they all realized

an evil man had taken over Allen's soul.

Kevin was wrong.

All the kids were screaming

because they weren't used to seeing

their favorite story book
character violently assaulted.

The police came and took Kevin away

and put him back in the
juvenile detention center.

Kevin wasn't too happy
about being back in juvie.

But he figured it was all
worth it in the long run,

because he'd saved his
friend, Allen the Magic Goose.

[piano music]

[digging]

It had taken Pete almost two
weeks to dig the escape tunnel.

It would have gone faster
if Kevin had helped,

but Kevin didn't much like
the thought of working.

And besides, he thought,
because Pete was crazy

and thought that Kevin was Jesus Christ,

he pretty much did everything
he was told to anyway.

- I was thinking you
being omnipresent and all

isn't it kind of meaningless
them locking you up?

- [Narrator] Kevin didn't
know what omnipresent meant,

so instead of answering the question,

Kevin threatened to send Pete to hell

if he didn't shut up and dig faster.

That always got Pete to work harder.

[digging]

[sneaky music]

- Ah, broken head, let's you,
me and the big crazy freak

get some booze and girls.

- [Narrator] Kevin and Pete decided to go

to Big Al's House of Simulated Coitus.

Kevin knew how to get there,

because his dad used to
make him drive him there

all the time because he'd
lost his drivers license

after his 14th driving
while impaired charge.

[upbeat music]

- Oh geez, look at that.

She ain't got no rhythm.

You call that strippin'?

- [Narrator] Kevin had forgotten that

one of Pete's personalities

was an 18 year old
stripper named Brandy Love.

He jumped up on the stage and
scared the other girl away.

Then Pete started to dance
and take his clothes off.

[upbeat music]

The other people in the bar
weren't too happy about that

but no one said anything
because Pete was so big

and it was pretty obvious he was insane.

Kevin figured he better
go before the cops came.

So he stole all the tip
money from a few tables

and snuck out the back door.

- Shut your hole you
unemployed son of a b*tch

and give me a smoke.

- Get your own damn smokes fatty.

- [Narrator] Kevin's mom didn't like

to be teased about her figure.

She was about to learn dad a thing or two

when Kevin walked into the kitchen.

Kevin hadn't seen his parents

since his father's parole
hearing two weeks ago.

And he was really happy.

- You got any smokes boy?

- [Narrator] Everyone was
real happy to see each other.

So they decided to celebrate.

Mom was already pretty tanked
when Kevin had shown up,

so she didn't celebrate for too long.

That night while his
parents were sleeping,

Kevin figured he'd help himself

to some of the old man's booze.

The next morning while Kevin's
dad was fixing breakfast,

he found out that Kevin
had stolen his booze.

The old man was really cheesed off,

so he phoned the cops and turned Kevin in.

[sirens blaring]

[laughing]

[upbeat music]

♪ Kevin Spencer ♪

♪ Something's wrong with that kid ♪

♪ Kevin Spencer ♪

♪ His head don't work it never did ♪

♪ Kevin Spencer ♪

♪ You better not cross his path ♪

♪ Kevin Spencer ♪

♪ He's a chain-smoking
alcoholic sociopath ♪

♪ Sociopath ♪

[upbeat music]