01x39 & 01x40 - The Starry Awards/Blorpsgiving

[bunniefuu]

Hi! I'm Patrick Star!

And I live with my parents!

Ow!

This is my dad.

[zany music]

This is my mom.
[laughs]

This is my sister. She's shy.

This is my grandpa.

This is my room!

And this...

♪ ♪

This is my show!

♪ ♪

[bright orchestral music]

Mmm.

Oh, my. Where's Patrick?

[giggling]

He never skips breakfast.

{\an8}I hope he's not trying
to surprise me again.

{\an8}[chuckles] Last time
he did that

{\an8}he almost gave me
a heart attack.

{\an8}I don't think
I can take another--

- Surprise!
- Aah! [coughing violently]

- [thud]
- [groans]

Happy Father's Day!

[coughs] Thank you, son,

but, uh, Father's Day
was last year.

Oh, yeah.

I'll just return this
to the dump.

Wait!
It's the thought that counts.

[giggles]

And I love this mug
with all my heart,

or at least what's left of it.

[grumbles]
That should be mine.

I'm the number one dad.

Now gimme that mug!

[straining] No, Dad.

You're too old
to have nice things.

I've earned this.

I've earned all the awards!

- [echoing] All the awards.
- [gasps]

Let's host an award show
for my show-show!

Awards?

- I want awards.
- Whaa!

- [groans]
- Great idea, Patrick.

People always tune in
to award shows

for the glitz, the glamour,

and the unexpected
celebrity drama.

[upbeat showbiz music]

♪ ♪

More cameras. More spotlights!

Get those awards on the table
and spray 'em.

Ugh, do I have
to do everything around here?

[groans]

Who put a bowl
of chum on the table?

Ugh, and I want spotlights
everywhere!

[cheers and applause]

[snoring]

[laughs] Oh, my.

Mr. President,
you're such a tease.

[laughs]
[machinery hammering]

[gasps]

What are you people doing
in my bedroom?

The boss wants
spotlights everywhere.

Aah! My eyeballs!

I need those to glare!

Live from Bikini Bottom,

it's the first ever
Starry Awards

with your host, Patrick Star!

♪ Nighttime, it's when
the stars come out ♪

♪ It's showtime time ♪

♪ We got stars in the sky ♪

♪ We got stars on the ground ♪

Hey, wait a minute.

That's not a star.

That's GrandPat's glass eye.

Hey, GrandPat! [grunts]

♪ But everything else
is a star ♪

♪ At the Starry Awards ♪

♪ And you're a star
at the Starry Awards ♪

[cheers and applause]

Thank you, thank you.

First up we're presenting

the Best Song
in This Award Show award.

I wonder who's gonna win.

[drumroll]

And the winner is...

"The Starry Awards song!"

Huh?

[gasps]

[chattering indistinctly]

I just didn't--
[cries]

[cheers and applause]

[growls] Oh,
I hate award shows.

Oh, look at me.

I never did anything,

but I want a prize anyway.
[clunk]

- Huh?
- Hey, lady.

Gotta put another light
over here.

- [sizzling]
- Aah! Whoa!

[groans, growls]

That's it!

I'm gonna destroy
that stupid show,

and then they'll probably
give me an award.

Now if you know
the Star family,

you know we love chewin' stuff.

Here's looking at you, Granola.

Oh. [laughs]

- [gasps]
- Mmm, good.

[gulps]

So crispies and crunchettes,

it's time
for the Best Bite award!

And the nominees are
Tinkle biting me,

- Nosferatu biting me...
- [growls]

Lady Zombie biting me,

and me biting me.

I mean, my tongue.

We ran outta envelopes,
so let's spin the winner wheel!

[upbeat music]

[groans]

[gasps, exhales]

Looks like Slappy
is our winner!

Oh. [chomps, gulps]

Don't eat it too fast.

The paint's still drying.

[moans]

Medic!

And now, the award
you've all been waiting for,

Best Cutaway Segment!

Will it be Quasar and Pat-Tron,

Pat the Hapless,

Cave Patrick,

or Dr. Plankenstein's Castle?

Whaa! Look, Master, look!

We're nomdanated for a reward.

Ugh, Patgor, please.

[slurps] Uh.

Award shows are for lamebrains
and lunkheads.

I am above
such trifling claptrap.

And the winner is...

Dr. Plankenstein's Castle!

Hmm? I won?

Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Ooh, I'm a special,
special boy.

[gasps] Let's get that award!

Hold on there, Patgor.

We're 3D, and they're 2D.

Oh, 2D.

What we need
is my latest invention,

the two dimensionalizer.

[grunts]

Oh.
[both groan]

[snoring]

- Hey, Rip Van Stinkle!
- Oh!

Give it up
for Plankenstein's Castle crew!

- Happy birthday.
- Aah!

Step aside, dumbo.

This is my award.

No. Shiny is mine.

[all grunting]

Whoa!

[sneaky music]

[cackles] Hmm.

Stay tuned
for our next shiny award.

It's sure to be a humdinger.

[snickers]

Goodbye, Starry Awards.

Hey! Do you have an ID badge?

Oh, dear.
May I borrow yours,

sweetie pie?

I don't see why not.

Thanks, dearie.

[gasps] Where's your ID badge?

I-I-I know I had it here
a second ago.

This man doesn't have
an ID badge!

Wait. No, no, no, no!

I have one, I swear!

[laughs]

Snip snip.

And the award
for best stunt goes to...

aah!

[all oohing]

[whimpering, wailing]

Me! [giggles]

Dag nabbit!

{\an8}Huh? [groans]

{\an8}Hey, somebody plug in
that spotlight!

{\an8}- [light humming]
- Aah!

{\an8}This is gettin' old.

[dreamy old-timey music]

Friends, the Starry Awards
would like to honor

the decently decreased

with an extra sad
in moronium presentation.

Please cry now.

[audience crying]

Zed the Zombie,

the Flim Flam Brothers,

the Flying Dutchman,

Nosferatu,

some guy named Lenny.

Wait, why am I up there?

Ooh!

Oh, that's why.

[cries]

Hey, Lenny! Come on up.

Welcome to the club.

Oh, razzin' frazzin' stupid
award shows go on forever.

[gasps] Wha?

Why are you still in my house?

We're taking all
these spotlights out of here.

Oh, finally.

And we're replacing 'em
with these brighter ones.

Huh? Aah!

That does it!

I'm blowin' this whole
kit and caboodle sky-high!

[spits, groans]

And I can't believe my luck.

Now who's ready
for a very special award?

[cheers and applause]

[laughs] h*-h*.

Oh, it'll be special all right.

Whoever wins this award
is gonna have a blast.

♪ Rockin' Rowboat sail along,
doo dah ♪

Shh. Zip it.

[laughs]

Hmm?

There it is.

Ladies and German man,

tonight's final award goes
to someone very special.

She's kind and generous.

And pretty darn forgiving.

The Best Neighbor Ever award
goes to...

both: Granny Tentacles!

Huh? Wha?

Come on out here.

You won!

Ooh, well, goodness.

I don't have a speech prepared.

Well, I do,
but it contains words

I can't say on television.

Wow, thank you so much.

Boy, do I feel awful
for putting that b*mb

in your trophy.

Oh, no.

Hey, look who it is!

Come on, guys.
Join the party.

So what'd you think
of the show?

The audience seems happy.

[slurps] Ah.

I still think I got
the best award of all.

Gimme it! It's my award!

- [cackles]
- Oh, GrandPat, no!

Give me that back!

[grunts] Get back here!

{\an8}In celebration
of Thanksgiving,

{\an8}how about we all go around
the table

{\an8}and say
what we're thankful for?

{\an8}Let's see. I'm thankful for--

{\an8}Food!

[squeals]

I concur. Food!

[dish shatters]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [belches]
- Ah.

[gasps] I just remembered!

Thanksgiving movie time!

[exclaims]

[grunts]

Captain's diary:
I was negotiating a treaty

with the leader
of the Saladrian Empire.

[growls]

[grumbles]

both: Rock, paper,
scissors, sh**t!

Yes! Rock beats scissors.

- I win!
- Ugh. Curse you, Quasar!

We accept your terms.

Great to hear.

Pat-Tron, sign the treaty
for me, would you?

Sorry, I'm leaving
for my vacation.

[growls]
Just press the button!

[mumbles nervously]

[buzzer blares]

You're welcome.

Firing blasters.

What the? Huh?

[dramatic music]

Aah!

You dare fire
on the Saladrian Empire

after we signed
a peace treaty?

Arm crouton torpedoes.

[chuckles]

Abandon ship!

Pat-Tron, take me with you!

Aah!

[mechanical whirring]

♪ ♪

[heartbreaking string music]

[sighs]

So where are we going anyway?

{\an8}My home planet, Tron-Tron.

{\an8}It's Blorpsgiving.

{\an8}Terrific.

{\an8}Space diary: We've arrived
on a strange alien world

{\an8}devoid of organic life.

{\an8}Who knows what kind of threats
lurk behind every corner.

Hmm.

Pat-Tron, welcome home, son.

Not so fast.

Oh, that is too nice.

Pat-Tron's alien friend
brought dessert.

Cecil 5000, what did I say
about sweets before dinner?

- Join us.
- [grunts]

- Greetings, Robodina.
- Greetings.

Greetings, Grandtron.

- Greetings.
- Greetings.

Ooh, hey, Pat-Tron,
your friend has

a water reservoir like me.

Are you steam powered too?

- [horn blows]
- Aah!

Uh.

[beep]
Space diary: I have encountered

a hostile life-form.

Oh, relax.

Grandtron's not hostile.

Why don't you sit down
and recharge a while?

Hmm, well, I suppose
a little rest wouldn't hurt.

Um...

Ah.

- Aah!
- Egad!

- Captain!
- Oh, thank goodness.

This power adapter
should be more suitable.

[screaming]

Error. Perhaps this one.

No, non, no. Please, please!

[screaming, winces]

Pat-Tron, I can't take anymore.

But we just got here.

I'm not like you machines.

I'm not meant
for this cold metal world.

I'm flesh and blood!

Huh?

I've got to get out of here!

- [gasps]
- Whoa.

[grunts, groans]

[mumbling gibberish]

[bright music]

Whoo-hoo! [pants]

[grunts]

Cousin Inga-tron!

What a surprise.

{\an8}Yeah, I just flew in
from Robo-Sweden.

{\an8}And boy, is my propeller tired.

{\an8}[laughs]

{\an8}Oh, Captain, say hi
to Inga before you leave.

{\an8}On second thought,
I could stay a little longer.

Oh, come on.

They suddenly have
a gorgeous cousin

who just shows up
out of nowhere?

Yah, very unrealistic.

Family unit,

initiate Blorpsgiving dinner.

[mechanical whirring]

[light music]

Hmm, where is my supper?

Oh, yah!

I brought
these anti-energy pods

just for you.

[chomping, gulps]

[horn blows]

Pat-Tron,
I can't eat any of this.

I'm not like you machines.

- I'm flesh and--
- Captain.

- Oh?
- Would you care for a sheet

of business paper?

Of course, darling.

[sucking]

Oh!

[grunting] I got it.

Mmm, it's delicious.

If you enjoyed those,
you will love the RAM sticks.

[chomps]

Aah!

Mm, it appears that RAM
is incompatible

with your outdated hardware.

Perhaps coal would be
more suitable.

- [whines]
- Mmm.

Uh...
[squeaks]

[coughs]

[flushes] Scrumptious.

Oh, boy. I am stuffed.

I am unable to process
another nanobyte.

Oh, yes, quite full.
No more for me. No-oh.

I will now commence
cleaning protocol.

Please, allow me.

Well, if you insist.

Yah, it is the least
I can do as a guest.

Oh, please. Allow me.

After all, I am a guest too.
[laughs]

[groaning]

- Aah!
- Captain,

is your hydraulic system
compromised?

[groans weakly] No.

But my spine is.

[sighs] Food coma.

Getting so sleepy.

[snores]

Power saving mode.

Processing so much data.

Oh, I feel like
I'm about to bust a rivet.

[screams]

So then I told the alien--

wait, solar flare!

My reservoir!

My lady love!

[spluttering, grunts]

I must save her, but how?

Hmm. Huh? Aha!

[grunting]

[triumphant music]

♪ ♪

Captain, can we be certain
this will dry her out?

Nothing is certain
in this world,

but it sure worked
when my space diary took

a tumble into the toilet.

{\an8}[gasps]

{\an8}Careful. Careful, my darling.

{\an8}Don't rush.
[beeping]

{\an8}Captain, you saved my life.

{\an8}Oh, Quasar. I love you.

{\an8}I love you too.

{\an8}Let's get hitched, yah?

{\an8}[romantic music]

{\an8}Space diary:
On this cold metal world,

{\an8}my heart has found
warm, warm love.

{\an8}[all weeping]

Oh, darling,

you look positively--

huh? Aah!

[screaming]

Wedding chassis installation complete.

Huh? Is this normal?

Affirmative.

Oh, phew. [laughs]

As I was saying,

darling, you look positively--

Now it is your turn.

[laughs] What do you mean?

It is your turn.

[laughs] Hmm? [gasps]

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I'm organic.

You can't take my head off.
[chuckles]

I don't see what
the big deal is.

I would die.

[whirring]

Not to worry.

We have other methods.

Aah!

I'm not ready for marriage!

all: The ceremony
will continue.

Aah! [screaming]

[panting, grunts]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[engine grinding]
Come on, come on, come on!

Huh?

[whimpers]
[engine turns over]

Aha!

Ugh. Huh?

[blubbers] Oh.

♪ ♪

{\an8}The Saladrian Empire demands

{\an8}you hand over
Douglas P. Quasar.

{\an8}Oh, thank goodness.

{\an8}[upbeat music]

{\an8}[exhales] Let's blow
this popsicle stand.

{\an8}[moans]

{\an8}You do know we're going
to execute you, right?

Yeah, whatever as long
as you get me outta here.

No, Quasar must stay here
and marry Inga-tron!

[gasps]

{\an8}[soft sweet music]

{\an8}♪ ♪

{\an8}Such a beauty.

{\an8}Mwah, mwah, mwah.

{\an8}[laughs]

Inga-tron, I am smitten.

It would be an honor...
[beeping]

If you would marry me
in his stead.

Eh, I can make it work.

We shall wed at once!

{\an8}Pat-Tron, you saved me.

{\an8}- Don't mention it.
- [grunts]

{\an8}Now you know why
I only visit on holidays.

{\an8}Good man, Pat-Tron.

Next year we'll visit
my family.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Huh?
- Time to get you changed

for the wedding.

What? No!

Stop! No!

Wow, what an ending.

Yeah!

Anyone for dessert salad?

both: Aah!

Okay.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪