01x29 & 01x30 - The Patterfly Effect/A Space Affair to Remember

[bunniefuu]

- Hi! I'm Patrick Star!

And I live with my parents!

Ow!

This is my dad.

[zany music]

This is my mom.
[laughs]

This is my sister.
She's shy.

This is my grandpa.

This is my room!

And this...

* *

This is my show!

* *

[mysterious music]

- Ah!

Ah!

That was amazing!

I dreamed that I was
dreaming that I was having

the greatest dream of my life.

I want more!

Sleep, sleep,
sleep, sleep, sleep!

[duck quacking]

It's not working.

[scream]

Got to get back to sleep!

[grunting]

* Go to sleep, little heady *

[humming melody]

Or not.

Time for plan B!

In case of not asleep,
break glass.

Hooray!

[cheering]

Oof!

One bump on the noggin
with this baby,

and it's back to dreamland.
Oof!

A little to the right.
Now left.

A little higher.
Oh!

You're getting warmer.

Warmer.
Warmer.

[screaming]

Too warm!
Too warm!

Hot foot!
Hot foot!

Hot foot!

Body, wait up!
Ah!

Uh-oh.

[fast-paced music]

- [humming melody]

Breakfast is ready!

[upbeat music]

* *

Whoop!

[chewing loudly]

- There you are.
I just finished your makeup.

Voilà!

[appreciative murmuring]

- I'm beautiful.
- You're also late.

The show should have started
five minutes ago.

- Squidina,
I can't do the show today.

Not until I relive my dream!

- You know, I had a dream once.

- Moms can dream?
- Yes, Patrick.

It was when
I was a little girl.

- You were a little girl?
- Yes, Patrick.

I dreamed about driving fast,
zipping around the track

at the motor speedway.
I dreamed of winning races.

I dreamed of becoming--
- A race car!

- Actually, I--
- Don't say another word.

I'm not going to let your
dream die the way mine did.

My mother is going
to be a race car!

[breathing heavily]

- I dreamed of being
a race car driver,

not a race car.
[audience groaning]

- Oh, boy.

* *

- Go to Klopnod, 30 years ago.

- Tee-hee-hee!
Woo!

Hey!

- Future Mom,
you're meant for better things.

- Mom?
What are you--

- I'm your son
from the future.

- Uh-huh.

Like you could even prove
such a thing.

- Your favorite color
is purple.

- Ooh.

- Mm-hmm.

- OK.
I'm convinced.

- [laughs]

[engine rumbling]

- Cool!
I love race cars.

How did you know?

- You told me in the future.

Here, let's put this on.

Huh.
OK, there we go.

- Wait.

You mean I'm going
to drive that car?

- Of course not.

You're going to race that car.

- Uh...

- OK.
Ready?

- Um, not exactly.

- Set!
Go!

[engine roaring]

[panting]

- Oh, boy.

We got a lot of work to do.

[energetic music]

* *

- [laughs]

- Beep, beep!

[giggling]
- We did it!

You're a race car!

- Bunny wins big race!

- Well, I guess this means
my work here is done.

- Are you sure this is
what I told you I wanted?

- Absolutely.

Well, enjoy living
your dream, Future Mom!

That could not
have gone better.

[scream]

- Hey, are we doing
the show today, or what?

- Oh, Squidina!
You have wheels!

- So do you, dumb-dumb.

- Ah!
When did this happen?

- Why wouldn't we have wheels?

Mom's a street sweeper,
remember?

- A street sweeper?

- Ever since that unfortunate
race car accident.

- I'll be right back.
I got to go fix something.

- Oh, I can't imagine

a more fulfilling life
than this.

- Klopnod, 30 years ago again.

- Future Mom,
you're meant for better things.

- Huh?
- Huh?

- Don't listen to me!
Listen to me.

You do not want
to be a race car.

OK.
Love you. Bye!

- Uh.
Huh?

- Don't ruin anything else.
Don't ruin anything else.

Don't want
to affect the future.

Oh.

Eh.
It'll be fine.

- Welcome back, legs!

[screaming]

- Another beautiful day,
huh, Patrick?

- A little toasty for my taste.

Let me try this again.

Not right.

Not right.

Nope.

Uh-uh.

Awesome, but not right.

Maybe?

Maybe not.

- Many attempts
to fix the past later...

- [nervous mumbling]

Huh?

- [humming melody]
- [snoring]

- Could it really be?

Life is normal again!

[growling and barking]

- Oh.

Sounds like my special
little boy is hungry.

- Oh, yeah!
- Good.

Because you're
just in time for dinner!

- But it's breakfast time.

- Eh?

What's breakfast?

[owl hooting]

- [screaming]

No silly glitches this time!

Oh!

What the--
Mom, when did the time closet

become a regular closet?

- What's a time closet?

- No!

I guess I'll just
have to reinvent

the time closet from scratch.

Beep!
Bloop, bloop.

Bleep!
Kaboom.

Ring, ring, ring.
Aw, man.

It didn't work.

- You didn't really think
taping a clock

to a cardboard box
would allow you

to traverse the circuits
of time, did you?

- Kind of.

- Inventing
a time travel device

would require decades
of advanced education

and scientific research.

- Then I guess it's time
for another montage.

[energetic orchestral music]

* *

- Oh!
Ow!

- Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.

* *

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

[grunting]

Hmm.
Uh-huh.

* *

Huh. Hmm.
Hmm.

* *

Mm-hmm.
[expl*si*n]

Mm-hmm.

* *

- Congratulations.
- Yeah!

* *

Finally back in business.

* *

You are not going in there!

- Who are you?

- I'm you as an older,
smarter sea star.

I'm here to tell you
that going back in time

could impact your future

in horrible, unspeakable ways!

- Oh!

Guess I'll go
do something else, then!

- Well, how about
some breakfast?

- We just had breakfast


- Oh.

Well, I suppose it can
wait until tomorrow.

- Or we can use the time closet

to go back 15 minutes.

- Uh, great idea!

After you.

- [humming melody]

Whoopty-doo.

- Yay!
Breakfast!

- Hmm.

There's that
toasty feeling again.

- [snoring]

[both snoring]

[together]
Happy anniversary,

Mom and Dad!
- [barking]

- Oh!
- Hey!

- Aww.

- We got you something
for your special day!

Squidina and I got you
reservations to

the Acropolis
All You Can Eat-atorium!

Enjoy the finest cuisine
in ancient Greece,

endless heaps of Caesar salad,

and dinner with a show!

- Oh, fancy!

But whatever will I wear?

- Leave that to me.
- Ooh!

[grunts]

- Whoa!
- Togas!

- OK, best be on your way.

With my parents
away for the day,

we can invite our friends over.

It's going to be awesome!
[laughing]

- [laughs maniacally]

- Let's get ready
for our unchaperoned party!

- Party!

- Huh.
- - Gee whillikers.

Who knew ancient Greece
was so spacious?

- Oh.
- Oh!

"Tonight, the 1,000th Annual
Weird Alien Contest,

hosted by Dale Goppler."
- Hey!

- First prize
is dinner for two.

[gasps]
We could eat twice tonight!

I'm in.

- SpongeBob sits here.
Pearl sits here.

Elwood sits here.

And Patrick and I make five.

The perfect number of guests
for our sneaky shindig.

[doorbell ringing]
Huh?

- I got it!
I got it!

SpongeBob!

- I brought kelp chips!
Woo-hoo!

- Pearl!
- Who wants soda pop?

- Elwood!

- I didn't have time
to get anything, so...

[cash register]

I brought my dad's wallet.

Ugh.

- Ew!

Expired credit card?
Pfft.

- Here you go.

Now let's get
this party sensibly started!

[crashing]

- Huh?
Pat the Hapless?

I didn't know you were invited.

So, Pat, buddy.

What did you bring
to the party?

[grunting]

- Everybody!
- Party!

[groaning]

- I don't think we're remotely
weird enough to win, hon.

- Oh, what a load of barnacles.

Ooh!

- Ooh!

- A two-headed toga monster!
Now that's weird.

- Aw!
You look just like our parents.

- Not weird enough, Bunny.

Hmm.
Oh!

Follow me.

- Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the 1,000th

Annual Weirdest Alien Contest!

[applause]

The first round of our contest

is the Weirdest Smile
Competition.

So please welcome
our first contestant,

the Two-Headed Toga Twins!

[cheers and applause]

- Um...

- Hmm.

- Oh, right.

Weird.

Mwah!

[cheers and applause]

- All right!

And now for our next
contestant, Gert Grinvlox!

- [giggling]

- [laughs]
You call that a smile?

- [grunting]

[glass shattering]

[people screaming]

- It seems we have
our first winner!

[triumphant music]

- Don't worry, hon!

We'll just have to get weirder
in the next round.

- Wow, this is great!

- [breathing heavily]

- It's cool.

- Uh!
More!

Uh!

More!

- My turn now!

- Ooh?

- Oh.
Pucker up, Cave Pat!

[kissing]

- Hey, Patrick.

Don't you think this party is
getting a little out of hand?

- Don't worry, sis.

I'm sure we can clean up
before anyone gets home.

- I'm home!
What the what?

- Huh?
- What?

[together]
Oh, no!

- You should be
ashamed of yourselves!

Throwing a party...

[both whimpering]

- Without GrandPat!

Woo!
Cannonball!

[screaming]

Now it's a party!

- Oh, yeah!
[air horns blaring]

[upbeat music]

- [screaming]

- And now the next round
of our contest, cooking!

Each of our contestants
will craft

a weirdly delicious dish

using the same
common ingredient...

a shrunken human!

- Where am I?
- Here's your human.

- What?
[whimpering]

- And a human for you.

- [nervous mumbling]

- And here's your human.
- Oh!

- OK, chefs.

Your time begins now.

[roaring]

Oh!
I'm allergic to humans!

- Me too!

- How do you cook a human?

They don't even taste good!

- Just get started, Bunny!

Get slicing.

[tense music]

- [yawning]

- Time's up, chefs!
[bell rings]

Let's see how you did.

Hmm?
- * La, la, la, la, la, la *

[screaming]

- Hmm.

[buzzer blares]

[audience groaning]

- Aw.
- Well, better luck next time.

Huh?

You haven't done anything
with your human.

- Tell me about it.

- [grunting]

- And voilà!
Stuffed human.

- Hmm.

- [belching]
- Oh!

- Ah!

- Mm-mmm.
[buzzer blares]

[audience booing]
- Oh, that's too bad.

[vocalizing]

What happened
to our last contestant?

- [humming melody]

I'm delicious!
Ooh, oh!

- Hmm.

Mm-hmm.
[bright chime]

[audience cheering]

- This is a first,
ladies and gentlemen.

The human wins!

- Woo-hoo!
Ah!

[cheers and applause]

Yes, yes, yes!

- Oh!

- All righty.

Who's ready to get weird

with tonight's
final competition,

the Dance-Off!

[air horns blaring]

Let's welcome
our first contestant,

all the way from
the Zorblek system, Regina!

- [grunting]

- Oh my,
the judge seems impressed.

- [belches]

- [grunting]

- Yeow!

[cheers and applause]

- And finally, welcome our
last contestants, these things!

[elegant orchestral music]

[confused muttering]

* *

- [belches]

* *

[both scream]

* *

[together]
Our togas!

- [gasps]

[concerned murmurs]

[eerie music]

- [screams]
- [retches]

- [retches]

- Ladies
and gentleglorps,

never before
in the history of this contest

have I seen anything
so incredibly weird!

Just look at them!

[cheers and applause]

- Congratulations!

You're officially weirdos!

- Oh!

- Oh, Cecil.

This is
the perfect anniversary.

- Yeah.

It's a shame the kids
aren't here to see it.

- Wait.
There are more of you?

- Let me in!

[grunting]

Huh?

[screams]

My precious posterior!

- Please welcome your children!

[cheers and applause]

- Hey, kiddos!
- Who are all your friends?

- We kind of had a house party
while you guys were gone.

Are you mad?

- Not at all, son!

Your mother and I
had the best time

we've had in years.

Plus, now we have
this great big juicy ham!

[together]
Oh, boy, ham!

- Well, we're not digested yet!

Let's party!

[all cheering]