03x42 - The Loonies

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(ECHOING) At last
I found the...

The sunken treasure of
Silverboots the pirate.

I bet I can get
a million clams for it.

Oh, rats. It's just seaweed,
they're real clams.

And a silly little crab.

Ow!

(GRUNTING)

Hiyah!

(GRUNTING, EXCLAIMING)

(BOTH YELLING)

(EXCLAIMING)

(SCREAMS)

(GONG SOUNDS)

Oh, well, I'll never find
the lost treasure
of Silverboots.

DAFFY: You're looking
for the lost treasure
of Silverboots, too, eh?

Who said that?

'Tis I, the world-famous
treasure hunter,

Daffy Duck.

(STUTTERS)
Never heard of him.

You've never heard of the duck
who discovered the jewel
of King Nutmenkamen?

And the jade emerald
of Queen Latifah?

And these house keys
from underneath
my couch cushions?

No, I haven't.

Well, this is your lucky day.

Because I'm here
to help your curvy self.

For a small fee, of course.

Eh, no thanks, Duck.

Look, here's the truth,

the treasure-huntin' business
has been slow lately.

Let me help you out
for a few bucks.

Say $100?

- No.
- How about this apple core

and this half-eaten bag
of popcorn?

(CHOMPING)

- Where did you get those?
- Mini fridge.

You really should
put a lock on that thing.

You ate all my food!

(BURPS)

Well, I guess I owe you one.

Tell you what?
Why don't I help you find
that treasure?

(SIGHS) Oh, okay.

Let's get this over with.

So, the little piggy
and silly ducky

are trying to find the pirate
treasure, too, eh?
(CHUCKLES)

Well, not before
Blacque Jacque Shellacque

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

(GASPS)

Oh, no!
Look how far ahead they are.

We better get movin'
quick, Captain. (GRUNTS)

They are not far ahead.

You're looking through
the wrong end
of the telescope.

Now what do you see?

(GASPS)

I see the boogie man.
Run for your life!

(SCREAMS)

How did I get stuck
with the flakiest croissant
in the box?

According to my calculations,
Silverboots' ship
went down right here.

- Let's get the diving belts.
- Great.

-(RINGING)
-♪ Where is the treasure?
Let's find the treasure

♪ I'll find the treasure
We'll find the treasure

♪ Where is the treasure?
Here is the treasure

♪ Let's find the treasure
Give me the treasure

♪ Treasure, treasure, treasure
Treasure, treasure, treasure ♪

Enough! Here.

This is a diving belt.

Now, you have to put it on
and dive in.

Of course. But first...

♪ Treasure, treasure, treasure
Treasure, treasure, treasure ♪

All right, let's have a look
at the map.

(STUTTERS) Wait. Don't.

Maybe bring
a waterproof map next time.

Think about it.
But no matter,

the world's greatest
treasure hunter
doesn't need a map.

He relies on his gut,
and my gut is telling me

this way will lead us
straight to the ship...

Your gut has
a terrible sense of direction.

Don't worry,
I brought shark repellent.

(SNIFFS)

- I believe, that's deodorant.
- No sweat, I got this.

Huzzah!

That's hairspray.

Huh? Mmm.

No problem.
This time I'm sure.

Prepare to eat...

I believe whipped cream.

Don't mind if I do.

Nummy-num-num.

Now, uh, what is it
we were doing--

-(GRUNTS)
-(YELPS)

Hiyah!

(GRUNTING)

(SOBBING)

(SQUEALING)

I think that did it.
(GROANING)

Look, Mr. Duck.
That must be
the Silverboots' ship.

Let's go.

(BLACQUE GRUNTING)

Sacrebleu,

I have dug holes
all along this beach

and I can't find
the treasure anywhere.

Wait a minute.

That little piggy has his boat
over by that island
way over there.

But why would he have his boat
way over there

when the treasure
is way over here?

The map clearly says... Oh!

So the wiggly
blue lines are water.

Hey, Pete!
What are you doing
with that shovel?

Oh, hi, Captain.

Well, I couldn't find
any treasure on the island.

I started digging on the boat.
(GIGGLES)

We've looked all over
this ship and the treasure's
nowhere to be found.

Oh, Mr. Duck, look at this.

Maybe Silverboots escaped
with the treasure through
this underwater tunnel.

To one side, junior.

As an experienced
treasure hunter,
I will be taking the lead.

DAFFY: Gee, it's dark in here.

PORKY: Well, what now,
"experienced treasure hunter"?

DAFFY: No problem.
I'll just ask this guy.

PORKY: Oh, be careful,
you have no idea what--

DAFFY: All right, listen up,
you little pipsqueak.
Where is the exit?

I want answers!

-(ELECTRICITY BUZZING)
-(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

(GROANS)

Hey, you found the exit.

Ooh, an underwater cave.

Hmm. It looks kind of creepy.

(STUTTERS)
In a place like this,

your worst nightmare
might be lurking
behind any corner.

(GROWLING)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Who are you?
What are you doing here?

I am world-famous
treasure hunter Daffy Duck.

(STUTTERING)
And I'm Porky Pig.

We're looking for the treasure
of Silverboots the pirate.

Oh, I know where
Silverboots' treasure is,

I can take you there,
for a price.

I've got two dimes
and a nickel.

And I've got a
Totally Tubs
and Toilets coupon.

Those come in the mail
every week. I want freedom.

Oh, yeah, well, you'll need
a credit card for that.

Wait a minute,
you look familiar.
Do I know you?

Well, you've probably
seen me in movies.
I'm Actor Sean Astin

No, no, no, that's not it.

You look like that guy
at the mall who hands out
free pretzel samples.

I'm not a pretzel guy,
I'm a movie star.

So, you don't have
any pretzel samples now?

No! I've been stuck
in this cave for months.

I was at a party celebrating
the anniversary of
my 1980s hit movie,

The Goonies, when suddenly,
a seagull grabbed my taquito,

and flew up
to the face of a cliff.

I climbed up to get
my taquito back,

but I slipped
and fell into this cave.

Everyone was too busy
partying to notice I was gone.

Well, I've been here
ever since.

- PORKY: How have you survived?
- I eat bugs.

Lots and lots of bugs.
Speaking of which,

it's lunchtime. (GRUNTS)

Mmm, you can really taste
the thorax.

Maybe we'll just look
for the treasure on our own.

No, no, no, no, no.
I'm going to help you
get the treasure,

and you are going
to get me out of here,
so I can make more movies.

Now, follow me.

This place is filled
with booby traps,

but don't worry,
I know where they are,
so I can warn you.

Ow!

Look out for those darts.

- So, you're a movie star?
- Oh, yeah.

I've been in tons of movies.
My favorite was probably
The Goonies.

(EXCLAIMS)

Look out for those logs.

I've never seen The Goonies.

How have you
never seen The Goonies?

(GROANS)

Look out for that boulder.

Can you warn me
before the trap
actually hits me?

- I could
- Hey.

We should come up
with a name for our group.

We should call ourselves
"The Looney Tunes."

Oh, brother.

Watch out
for these trap doors.

(ALL SCREAMING)

Look, the treasure.

-(HEAVENLY CHOIR SINGS)
- PORKY: That must be
Silverboots' lifeboat.

SEAN: There's just
one problem.
It's guarded by the Kraken.

(YELPS)

(GROWLS)

I've learned there's one thing
that tames a Kraken,

and that's jazz flute.
(GRUNTS)

Porky, you have to play
the flute.

It's the only thing
that will stop the Kraken.

(PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC)

No, it has to be
the jazz flute.

(PLAYING UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC)

No, smooth jazz.

(PLAYING SMOOTH JAZZ MUSIC)

Smoother.

Smoother!

(KRAKEN SIGHING)

Too smooth. Too smooth.

KRAKEN: Mmm.

That was one sweet groove.

Come on,
let's get that treasure.

Huh?

(BLACQUE LAUGHING)

It is I,
Blacque Jacque Shellacque,

ruiner of moments
and taker of treasure.

(LAUGHING)

(STUTTERS)
Hey, that treasure's ours.

Oh, sorry,
I couldn't hear you.

There's treasure in my ears.

And what is this
in your little pig snout?

Looky! More treasure.
(KISSES)

And now, we thank them

with extremely silly dancing.

(BOTH EXCLAIMING)

Oh, I remember dancing.

♪ I dance on the treasure

♪ I dance on this chair

♪ I dance on this coffin... ♪

-(SCREAMS)
- Argh!

(STUTTERS)
The ghost of SilverBoots.

The ghost of Silverboots?

That looks like
One-Eyed Willie.

Yeah! That's right,
I'm Captain Silverboots.

You have touched me treasure.
Now you're doomed.

BLACQUE:
They touched it first.

(STUTTERS) No. We actually
didn't touch the treasure.

We were definitely going to.

-(STUTTERS) Daffy!
- I still want to.

I'll cleave
all you land lubbers.

Huh??

I'll cleave you all
to the brisket.

Ugh! I'm just saying
I'm going to attack
you all with me sword.

(BOTH SCREAM)

Come on, let's get
that treasure
and get out of here.

- Oh, no, the Kraken is back.
-(GROWLING)

Quick, give me that flute.

Hmm. Uh-huh. Got it.

-(GRUNTS)
-(SPLASHES)

That's how you do it.

(STUTTERS) Daffy, that was
our only way out of here.

-(expl*si*n)
-(SCREAMS)

Give me back me treasure.

(KRAKEN EXCLAIMS)

Well, I guess
we better do what he says.

Looney Tunes never say quit.

Just for the record,
we never agreed on that name.

Oh, it's not that bad.

Look, there's an opening
to the outside.

(ALL GRUNT)

Wait for us!

(ALL SCREAM)

Where's the treasure?

Guys, we found something
more valuable than treasure.

Friendship.

Aw.

Ooh. Is that my taquito?

-(ALL STRUGGLING)
-(SILVERBOOTS SIGHS)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)