03x39 - Brothers in Harms/Rhoda Derby

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Although, I have to admit,
he's way too polite.

Always smiling
and giving compliments.

And that makes me angry.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

That must be Jack now.

I say, I say, hello there,
I'm here today to procure
your John Hancock

to build a gentler
a park in the center
of town.

I ain't signin' nothing,
you big, ugly chicken.

Now, get off
of my property!

(MUMBLES)

Hey, y'all, it's me,
Yosemite Jack.

Goodbye, train,
and thank you for
getting me here safely.

(COUGHS)

Ooh, look,
a pretty penny.

I better take it
to the lost and found.

Excuse me, stranger,
I found this penny
and I...

Ow!

Yeesh, I just wanted
to return that penny

and ask how to get
to Yosemite Sam's house.

You're not Yosemite Sam?

Oh, no, sir,
I'm his twin brother Jack.

Honest mistake, really.

Well, you're certainly
more cordial
than your brother.

Would you be so kind
as to point me in
the direction of his home?

Oh, it's that dilapidated
old shack.

Thank you, old timer,
I do love that mustache.

Ooh, wait, I should warn you
that that... Oh, well.

(HUMMING)

(LAUGHS) Goodness gracious,

that was a close one,
this tree almost
fell on me.

Can you imagine?

Another one.

What are the odds?

(YELPS)

How dare you show
your face around here?

You have a lot of nerves
walking through my forest.

Sorry, I was simply
passing through.

I asked you to watch
my house while I was away

and what did you do?

You whittled down my cabin
to this tiny little flute.

(FLUTE MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, that's a lovely song.

Lovely does not provide
shelter.

Oh, I believe there's been
a slight misunderstanding.

You see, I'm his brother...

(SCREAMS)

(YELPS)

(PANTING)

(GASPS) That was terrible.
That silly lumberjack
tried to squash me.

Look who it is,
the fella who took
my nut loaf.

- I think you think...
- Let me finish.

We agreed to split
a nut loaf at the local diner.

- Sir, you don't...
- Let me finish.

We ordered one nut loaf
and two plates.

-(MUFFLED)
- Let me finish.

When the nut loaf came out,
you grabbed it and ran out
of the restaurant.

Please, stop talking,
adorable turtle.

I didn't steal
your dang nut loaf.

That was my...
(YELPS) Brother!

There you are!
You snapped me
with a towel

when I was in
a compromising position
in the gym locker room.

Not me, sir,
I've only been
in this town for...

You think I was born
yesterday?

You do have a strong
physical resemblance
to a baby, but...

I don't think... Ouch!

My backside.

Well, let's see how
you like it. Dance,
you scallywag!

-(YELPS)
- Now sing!

♪ Do you know
The muffin man

♪ The muffin man
The muffin man

Louder!

♪ Do you know
The muffin... ♪

I have never been
treated so horribly.

Oh, no, you don't.

Don't you dare go near
my establishment.

Are all the citizens
in this town, little old men?

You locked me
in my store last week.

No, I didn't,
because I'm...

You don't remember
forcing the keys
out of my pocket? Huh?

No, I don't remember
because...

Oh, you don't remember
putting this key in
the keyhole like this?

Remember?

No, I don't remember.

Do you remember hitting me
with this broom several times

and then shoving me
into the store like this?

Huh? (YELPS)

Remember? You slammed
the door behind me
and locked the door

and threw away the key?

Good sir, I...

Lock the door
and throw away the key.

Get out of here, go!

With pleasure.

The nerve of that
Yosemite Sam, pretending
to forget that

he locked me
in my own office...
Help! Help!

Oof! Ooh!

I'm angry with you.

Let me guess, 'cause
you think I stole your wallet?

Or pulled your goatee
or I grabbed your horns

and pretended
I was riding a jet ski?

(EXCLAIMING) Look at me!
I'm a big fancy jet skier.

Well, newsflash,
that wasn't me.

That was my twin brother,
Yosemite Sam.

You are mad at him.

I'm mad at you because
you just bumped into me.

(YELPS)

There's my brother,
good to see you.

Well, it's not good
to see you, I'll have you
know that everyone

in this town that
you ever messed with
thought I was you!

And they did all kinds
of mean things to me.

Wait, they thought
you was me?

And they beat you up?

That's hilarious.

(YELPS)

Now let's see
how you like it.

(YELPS)

(MUMBLES)

(YOSEMITE SAM YELPING)

Am I seeing double?

Whoa, take it easy,
I said, take it easy there,
Sam.

Stop beating yourself up.

I am not Sam,
I'm his twin brother Jack.

This is payback
for all the mean stuff
people did to me

thinking it was him.

I thought I told you
to get off my property,
ya big, ugly chicken.

On second thought,
I need to stay out of
what is clearly

family business.

-(CHUCKLES)
-(BOTH CLAMORING)

And here comes roller derby
champion, Rhoda Roundhouse,

flying around the track.

-(GRUNTS)
- The knee bone's connected
to the hip bone.

But it won't be
when I get through
with you.

(GRUNTS)

(WHOOPS)

OMG, I am skating against
the great Rhoda Roundhouse.

I'm a huge fan.

You better hop along,
little bunny,
before I knock you

on your keister.

Ooh, fingers crossed.

Can you sign
all my Rhoda souvenirs first?

Get that box
out of my face.

I get it, you're totes busy,
just a quick selfie then.

Enough of this.

-(EXCLAIMS) Rhoda Roundhouse
just threw an elbow at me!
-(GRUNTS)

Best day ever!

You're not supposed
to be enjoying this.

ANNOUNCER: Lola Bunny
takes the lead by skating
on the rail.

What? Rhoda's got rage!

Whoa!

Oops, my bad.

ANNOUNCER:
Lola Bunny knocks out
Rhoda and becomes

our new roller derby
champion.

I can't believe I beat you,
it must've been a fluke.

- If you want a rematch...
- Of course I want
a rematch!

Great, one more.

(AIR HORN BLOWING)

We get to skate against
each other again,

this is what people
who have their birthdays
on Christmas must feel like.

Well, don't think
you getting any presents,

unless you call me pouring
motor oil on a track
a present.

Whoa! (WHIMPERS)

Oh, Rhoda,
this was so sweet of you.

With all this oil
on the track,
I can skate even faster.

Really? Wow,
well, let me try.

(LAUGHS)

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!

Um, eh, Rhoda,
you got a little something
right here

and here, and here,
and here, and here.

Well, basically
all over your face.

Speaking of faces,
why don't you get
out of mine?

Let's see how that bunny
likes it, when we ramp
things up.

ANNOUNCER: It looks like
Rhoda's setting the course
into extreme mode.

Extreme mode?
What's that?

- Wow!
-(CACKLES)

Bye-bye, Bunny.

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Rhoda, Rhoda,
did you see that?

I totally landed
on my feet,

that was, you know,
extreme, right?

Yeah, now I'm gonna
extremely knock you
on your butt.

(GRUNTS)

(YELPS) Hey, Rhoda, look!

(CHUCKLES) I always seem
to be ahead of you.

Oh, yeah?
Not for long.

Wow!

She certainly showed me.

(LAUGHS) I sure
showed her...

(YELPS)

(SCREAMS)

-(GROWLS)
-(GROANS)

She just thinks
she's all that.

Well, let's just see
how Ms. Thing does
against my roller bots.

Forget the roller derby,
let's roller dance.

(FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ There's a beat
That I can hear

♪ I feel it in my soul

♪ Don't know where
It came from

♪ But I can feel it go

♪ It whispers in my ear
You gotta get out of this town

♪ Well, don't know
Where I'm going

♪ But I got to skate around

♪ I'm a roller skatin' rabbit
I hop, hop, hop

♪ I'm a roller skatin' rabbit
Can't stop, stop, stop

♪ I hear the music play
It wakes me in the night

♪ I gotta shake my booty
Till the morning light

♪ I'm a roller skatin' rabbit
I go, go, go

♪ I'm a roller skatin' rabbit
Putting on a show ♪

Ah, man, I guess
I got a little carried away.

Uh, here you go,
just like new.

That's it, time for
the spiral of doom!

ANNOUNCER: Uh-oh,
it's the spiral of doom.

That was banned
in seven countries,

including this one!

I'm gonna be skating
on the most dangerous course
in roller derby history

against Rhoda Roundhouse?

(EXCLAIMS) I must be dreaming.

This is not a dream,
this is your worst
nightmare.

Ugh, filthy.

Because I just got left
in the dust
by Rhoda Roundhouse,

I'm never washing
these clothes again.

(LAUGHS) The championship
is mine.

Huh?

Hey, Rhoda, I think
we came up with
a new sport,

it's called roller skiing.

Woo-hoo!

Try skiing while I drive
reckless and out of control.

-(ENGINE REVS)
-(LOLA WHOOPING)

(GROWLS) Time to hit
the afterburners.

(BOTH EXCLAIMING)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTS)

ANNOUNCER: Lola wins!

Rhoda, I owe this victory
to you.

Without you as a role model,
I never would've known
what not to do.

- Oh, thank you, Rhoda.
- Don't mention it.

One more selfie
for the Rhoda?

- Sure... (GRUNTS)
-(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

Hot dog!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)