03x27 - You Ain't Nothin' but a Foghorn/The Pepe Who Came in from the Cold

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

♪ Well I've been pecking
around all over the place ♪

♪ Looking for a gal
with a pretty face ♪

♪ When I find the right one
she gonna be the best ♪

♪ I'm gonna take her home
to feather my nest ♪

♪ I say feather my nest ♪

(CHEERING)

♪ I say feather my nest ♪

(ALL CHEERING)

♪ On the record ♪

♪ You gotta come
feather my nest, yeah ♪

Ah, they love me tender.

And I love their legal tender.

Speaking of which,
who wants to buy t-shirts?

(ALL CHEERING)

Don't be cruel, ladies.

(SCREAMING)

(GROANS)

A music festival?

Time to check out
the snack bar.

Come on over
to the refreshment stands

so I can take all your money.

(STAMMERING) I mean, to look
at all your pretty faces.

(ALL GIGGLING)

(GOBBLING)

Boy, I say, boy!

What to you think
you are doing

wolfing down all my hot dogs?

Wolfing? Dogs?
That's a joke, son.

Why ain't you laughing?

Well, for starters,
this root beer is flat.

These stuffed
pretzels
are hard as rocks.
(GLASS BREAKING)

And this popcorn
is more like
flop-corn.

In other words,

these refreshments
are about as stale
as your jokes, son.

You can't just
eat all that food.

You have to pay for it.

No, I don't. I
snuck in
without a ticket,
fair and square.

I say
you are a freeloader, sir.

And I'll give you something
for free.

A boot in the behind!

And now,
where were we,
ladies?

(DAFFY SLURPING)

Boy! What are you doing now?

Well, this nacho cheese
is pretty good.

But it's "nacho"
cheesy
as your singing.

Why you--
(THUD)

Uh-oh, looks like
someone's got
pizza-face.

(DAFFY LAUGHING)

So, me and Matthew Mcconaujay,

are playing the bongo drums
and uh--

Oh, by the way did I mention,

I am close friend
with Matthew McConaujay?

Great bird. Real blue.

Anyway--
You!

You, sir, have besmudged
my order.

Now stand up and receive
your comeuppance.

Comeuppance? What's that?
Like 2 bucks?

No, it's two fists.

(GROANS)

(CLANGING)

I guess it's here
today,
gong tomorrow.

(GIGGLING)

Now, I got you! Huh?

Yoo-hoo.

Woo-hoo.

(SINGING CHORUS)
♪ Yoo-hoo ♪

(GRUNTING)

(WHISTLING)

(FOGHORN GRUNTING)

(GROANING)

Ah! A mummy!

(CACKLES)

Where do you think
you're going, pal?

This is a VIP tent.

I am Foghorn Leghorn, the VIP.

So, I suggest
you check your list.

(INHALES, SPITS)

Sorry, bro. I don't see
your name on the list.

Right this way, ladies.

Hey, you just let them
right in.

It's ladies night, bro.

Chicks get in free.

Ladies night, huh?

(IN FEMALE VOICE) Hello.
I say, hello handsome.

Is this the VIP area?

O-M-G.

You are gorgeous.

(YELPS)

You are too good
for that dirty old
tent.
You deserve better.

Oh, (CHUCKLING)
that's very sweet.

But I'm just trying
to get into the VIP--

Marry me.

(IN MALE VOICE) What are you
talking about-- (STAMMERING)

(IN FEMALE VOICE)
But I just met you.

Don't you believe
in love at first
sight?

Give me a chance, please.

Well, if I marry you,

will you let me
into the VIP area?

Oh, yes. Of course.

Then I accept.

Do you take this chicken

to be your lawful wedded wife?
I do.

Do you wish you were
somewhere else?

Oh, I do.

Then you may kiss the bride.

(SMOOCHES)

Look at those tail feathers.

Are you looking at
another woman?

Hey, you're that duck!

Hey, you're that chicken!

How ironic that we had to
hide
behind these masks

to show our true feelings.

(KISSING) Woo-hoo!

Gosh, it's so dark in here.

I can't see my own beak
in front of my face.

(GROANING)

Why am I hunka-hunka
glowing bird?

Why, you'll pay
for this, duck.

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROANS)
(CACKLES)

DAFFY: Woo-hoo!

I say, get back here.
You little-- Ah!

(CROWD CHEERING)

Help! (SHOUTING)

Somebody, get me
to that stage!

(YELLS)

Woo!

(PARTY MUSIC PLAYING)

Now that crazy duck
is stealing all my fans.

I say, get over here, boy.

♪ I say, I say, get-get
get over here, b-- boy. ♪

(GRUNTS) I hope you like
pop songs.

'Cause I'm gonna pop you
in the mouth.

♪ I-- I pop you-you you--
in the mouth ♪

(CROWD CHEERING)

I've never heard a crowd
cheer that loud.

Why, they're more
excited than cat at
a mouse convention.

We're a hit.

We are indeed.

And that gives me an idea.

(PLAYING GUITAR)

(PLAYING BEAT OVER GUITAR)
(CHEERING)

Well, it's like I always say.

If you can't beat 'em,

play a beat
they can dance to.

Drop a fat beat DJ Duck.

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
(CROWD CHEERING)

Greetings, losers.

It is I,
Blacque Jacque Shellacque.

I have dispatched
the most diabolical plot
of all time.

I've kidnapped Santa Claus.

Uh, wait a minute. What--
What is that?

We thought you said,
"Kidnap an ant with
saws."

Why would---

Santa Claus!

Big guy? Red suit?

Oh, Santa Claus.

Let me out of here.

Never!

You had me on the naughty list
for 30 years.

You clearly deserved it.

Well, my days of getting coal
are over.

(SANTA EXCLAIMING)

Unless you send
all the holiday presents
in the world to me,

you will never see
Santa Claus, again.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Okay, there. How was that?

My camera is still on.

They can see me
in my underwear?

That was 24 hours ago,

and that's why
you're at the north pole

streaking across the ice
on a snow mobile.

Just once,
I'd like a holiday off.

And I'd like to play
lead guitar for
Foghat,

but that ain't happening
either.

Now, Santa has to deliver

all his presents
by tomorrow morning.

So, if you can't
save him tonight,

the holidays will be ruined
for everyone.

You're filming me
from the waist up, right?

♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of Pepe ♪

♪ Falalala la la la la ♪

What are you doing?

I've come to deliver
your holiday gift.

If you are good,
I will let you open it early.

Get away from me.
I don't have time
for presents.

Very well. Then I suppose
your present

will by my presence.

Ugh. Gross.

(LASER FIRES)
You fool.

You led them to
us.
Steady, Gary.

Whoa. What are you doing?

Taking a few selfies.

(PEPE GASPS)

Okay, fine.
We will work together.

Hold on tight.

Okay. Not so tight.

CLAUDETTE: Get ready
to jump. Jump!

(PEPE YELLS)

I said to jump on my mark.

You said to hold on tight.

We will have to snowboard
the rest of the way.

That is very,
how do you say?
Radical.

So, they escaped, eh?

Well, let us see how they do

against my army
of snow boarding
penguin ninjas.

Not to be
a smarty-pants Stanley

but there aren't any penguins
in the north pole.

They're imported, okay?

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to be ♪

♪ Beating penguins up
all day ♪

We did it.

Now to find Blacque Jacque's
secret lair.

CLAUDETTE: (SHOCKED)
A cyborg polar bear?

Why does it
have to be a cyborg?

A regular polar bear
is just as dangerous.

Hey, is this a bad time
to ask for a new bike?

Claudette and Le Pew,

come to save the day.

You couldn't even
save a cookie

if you wrapped it in a nut
and then put it in your
pocket
for later.

Speaking of which,

would you like a cookie,
Santa?

I'm so hungry.

Oh, then you would really like
this nice,

freshly baked, delicious,
chocolate chip cookie.

My favorite.

Ha! Not for you.

Oh, you monster!

Let us go,
Blacque Jacque
Shellacque.

Never. (LAUGHS)

Or should I say, "h*-h*-h*."

Because I am Santa Claus now.

My robot reindeer and I
are going to put coal
in everyone's stocking.

Best Christmas ever.

We've got to stop him.

I have an idea.
Monsieur Polar Bear,

I have a salmon for you.

(SNIFFING)

Why did you have a Salmon?

Doesn't every secret agent

have a salmon in their pocket?

You are going
to totally throw off
his eating schedule!

Penguin ninjas, attack.

(GROANS) These guys, again?

Don't worry. I've got this.

(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROANING)

Happy holidays.

Impressive.
They should call you,
Sanit Kick-olas.

Everyone always talks
about the red suit.

No one notices the black belt.

h*-h*-h*!

Look at me, I am Santa Claus,
you know.

So long, losers.

Not so fast. (GRUNTS)

Hey, what are you up to?
(GRUNTS)

(BLACQUE GROANING)

This is not the last you see

of Blacque Jacque
Shellacque--
(THUDDING)

(THUDDING CONTINUES)

Since the holidays are saved,

how about kissing me
under the mistletoe?

Well, if you insist.

(SMOOCHES)

Now, isn't that better
than a bike?

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've got presents to
deliver.

Jingle bells!

Santa Claus, out. h*-h*-h*.

I have heard
of mummy kissing Santa Claus

but that was ridiculous.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)