03x21 - Cold Medal Wabbit/No Duck Is an Island

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

ANNOUNCER: Welcome
to the Whole Buncha
Countries Games,

where a whole bunch of
countries come together

to compete in a whole
buncha games.

In winter.

-And now,
let the games begin.
-(WHISTLE BLOWS)

(ALL YELLING)

This is my zone, losers!
My Calzone.

Hello, Hawaii!

Finally, nothing
but sun, sand and--

Blistering cold!

(YELLING)

ANNOUNCER: And the winner
is... Bugs Bunny?

I thought he was
supposed to be in Hawaii!

-(CROWD CHEERING)
- Well, gee, look at that!

I've never been a fan of
jewelry but for this, I think
I can make an exception.

That is my gold, rabbit!
And you are in my zone!

- And you are?
- I am Cal.

Champion of the Whole
Buncha Countries Games.

I am the biggest winner
of all time!

I am such a big winner
that they put my face
on everything.

Candy bars, kitty litter,
even toilet seats.

Well, that's great, pal,
but I'm not interested
in all this snow and ice.

I'm just looking for some sun.

You want to see the sun?
Let me give you a closer look!

(GRUNTS)

BUGS: Wow, that is close.

ANNOUNCER: And there
goes Cal heading down
the bobsled ride.

Whee, I love sledding!

Rabbit, what do you
think you're doing?

Competing at the games
See, I got my own bobsled.

That is not a bobsled,
it is a silly toboggan.

Don't be doggin'
about my toboggan.

No one out-sleds Cal.

I can do some
toboggan blogging.

Breakfast at the hotel
was exceptional, #impressed!

(SCREAMS)
Quit flogging my toboggan!

Wow! I can see
the whole town from up here!

Let go of me you fool!
I cannot see!

Whoa! Whoa.

(GRUNTS)

Ah, forget the bobsled.
I'm racing the Cal-sled!

(SCATTING)

ANNOUNCER: And the winner
of the bobsled, Bugs Bunny!

(CROWD CHEERING)

That rabbit may have
got lucky once--

ANNOUNCER: Actually,
he's gotten lucky twice.

Well, he will never defeat
me on the half pipe.

I am totally in my zone.

Nally-nooze, bro
but mine are the gnarliest.

Gotta paw-paw
when a maw-maw!

- Huh?
- House plant!

- Sewage plant!
-(FARTS)

Ugh! Unsanitary.

No one out-shreds Cal!

Upper chunk lobster hold!

Chicken salad crab grab!

Top slaw nibblet green!

Bro, you caught too much air.
You gotta reverse it!

Whoa! (YELLING)

Whoa, you totally
cratered, dude!

ANNOUNCER: The gold medal for
half pipe goes to, Bugs Bunny!

-(CROWD CHEERING)
-(EXCLAIMS)

How does that rabbit
keep winning?

One word, soup!

He swipes down gallons
and gallons of soup
before every event.

I should know,
I trained him!

And I can train you too!

Yes, yes. Train me, train me!
I must defeat that rabbit.

Then let's do this!

If you want to cream
the rabbit, you've gotta
eat cream of broccoli.

(GULPING)

That's it! Eat that
chicken noodle.

Split pea!

Gazpacho!

That's right. You got it, kid!

You got the eye of
the chowder, the clam chowder!

Now, go down this ski jump!

Whoa! Whoa! (GRUNTING)

CALZONE: Too much soup!

That's not how you ski jump!
Let me show you how it's done.

Ouch!
(GROANS)

ANNOUNCER: Incredible!
Bugs Bunny has
won the ski jump!

I will get that
meddling rabbit!

ANNOUNCER:
He sure is medal-ing.
He's won four golds!

Nobody asked you!

Get back here, rabbit!

Prepare to meet
your-- Huh?

Ooh, sequins. Very nice!

(GROANING)

(SNIFFING)

Why you-- For me?

(SNIFFS)

(YELLS AND GRUNTS)

ANNOUNCER: Perfect 10.
Another goal medal
for Bugs Bunny!

(GRUMBLES AND GROANS)

ANNOUNCER: Bugs takes
gold in hockey!

Enough! I will
crush you, Rabbit!

ANNOUNCER: And they're off
in the final event,
speed skating!

I will win gold
no matter what it takes.

(GRUNTING)

ANNOUNCER: Bugs Bunny
has won the gold!

Cal, you can stop skating.

- I won again.
-(GRUNTING)

No! I will never stop skating.
I am the winner!

(SCREAMS)

ANNOUNCER: Unbelievable!

Bugs Bunny has won
all the gold medals

in the Whole Buncha
Countries Games in Winter.

Those medals
should be in my zone!

My Fro-zone.

(SEAGULLS SQUAWKING)

Welcome back
to Island Master,

the show where I, Tad Tucker,

compete against contestants
for the title of...

Island Master!

Whoever can survive
these dizzying challenges,

will be the lucky winner
of their very own
autographed picture

of me, Tad Tucker!

It even tastes like me.

Come here, you!

Now, I bet you could
watch me kiss me all day,

but I got another
contest to win.

In this next challenge,
every contestant must stand
atop these upright logs.

The first one
to fall of their log,

will be eliminated
from the next round.

I don't have
to participate because
I won the last challenge

to possess the coveted
Crystal Monkey Skull.

Does the monkey
want a banana?

(LAUGHS)
He can't! It's crystal.

DAFFY: Incoming!

-(ALL EXCLAIM)
- What the--

Hello, spring break.

One whole week of nothing
but sun, fun and coconuts.

Hey you, you're ruining
my TV show!

TV show? OMG!

Is this Top Voices Got Talent?
I love singing shows!

I was born to sing.

(VOCALIZING)

This ain't a singing contest!

It's a survival contest.

- Did you just strike me?
- Yeah, I did.

And since you've eliminated
all the other contestants,

I guess it's gonna be
you against--

Me, Daffy Duck!

- Island Master
will be right back!
- That's my line--

Welcome back.

Now, before we move
on to our next competition,

let me remind
our audience that we
are on an actual island,

thousands of miles from
civilization, no food,
no water, no shelter.

When you're out here,
you need to fend for yourself.

These c*ck wienies are
really hitting the spot.

Where did you get those?

From the hotel restaurant.

- I charged everything
to your room.
- Cut to commercial.

As I was saying, when
you're on a desert island,

sometimes you have to eat
the food you can find.

And that means,
eating these grubs.

In this next competition,

we will see who can eat
the most grubs in
under two minutes.

Ready? Go!

Here we go!

-(CHOMPING)
-(GAGGING)

-(GROANS)
- Grub taco!

-(GULPS)
-(GROANING)

- Grub skewers!
-(GAGS)

They're so slimy.
You can really feel them
moving around in your mouth.

-(GAGS)
- Are there any grubs
in my teeth?

(GAGGING)

Looks like someone
just coughed up the lead.
(LAUGHS AND WHOOPS)

Our next challenge is
about strength, precision
and lots of sweat.

- Is that why you stink so bad?
- Knock it off!

The goal of this challenge
is to take one of
these large stones,

place it into the hopper
and launch it toward
the target.

The first person
to get three stones in
the target zone, wins.

I think something's wrong
with my catapult.

Now, that's impossible.
I just checked this morning.

-(YELLS)
- DAFFY: Never mind.
Works great!

(GRUNTING)
Uh-oh, it's broken again.

That's because you have
too many rocks in there.

You can only launch
one at a time. (GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

Oi, listen you!

Don't worry, I fixed it
with my handy utility knife.

It was never broken
and that's my utility knife!

Come and get it!

-(DAFFY LAUGHING)
-(GRUMBLING)

(SCREAMS AND GROANS)

DAFFY: I told you I fixed it.

Welcome back for
our next challenge.

Our contestants
will have to carefully
walk across this tightrope,

spanning these five cages

to get to
the Crystal Monkey Skull
on the other side.

Each one of these
cages is filled with

one of nature's most
vicious predators.

Now the trick is--
Whoa!

What the--
That's my utility knife!

- Oh, no!
-(ANIMALS GROWLING)

(SCREAMS)
No, not again!

(ANIMALS GROWLING)

I got me a few bumps
and scrapes from
the last challenge

but in this next challenge,
both competitors must
race to the top

of these series of ropes,
scaffolding and springs.

The first to reach the top
and hit the gong is
the new Island Master!

What do you think, Duck?
Can you hack it?

Oh yeah. This is the one
that's gonna trip me up.

Okay, then.
Ready, set, dingo!

(GRUNTING)

(LAUGHS)
Only three more levels to go!

-(GONG SOUNDING)
- Huh? How'd you get
up there so fast?

I can fly. Duh!

I would have been here
faster if I didn't have to
bring this bag of boulders.

Bag of... Boulders?
(GROANS AND GRUNTS)

(YELLING AND GROANING)

(YELLS)

I am Island Master!

And so concludes
Season 4 of Island Master,

starring me, Tad Tucker!

I like Tad as a host
but he could be
a little bolder.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)