03x20 - Planet of the Bigfoots

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

NARRATOR: In a
far-flung galaxy,

light years from Planet Earth,

a crack team
of space adventurers

hurtle across the galaxy

on an important mission.

There it is, fellas.

The distant moon of Glendor.

Speaking of which,

- does anyone want a smoothie?
- I do.

I thought we
were going to Miami Beach.

No, we're going to Glendor.

We have to find
the Rhombus Stone.

Great. I guess I'm
wearing these for nothing.

There's never a reason
to wear those.

It's a powerful energy source

said to contain more
power than a thousand suns.

A thousand suns?

Maybe I can still
get my tan on.

It's an energy source,
not a tanning bed.

And whoever
controls that stone,

controls the universe.

We gotta make sure
it doesn't fall into
the wrong hands.

(LASER g*ns WHOOSHING)

It is I, Calzonius.

Evil galactic overlord.

And you are in my zone.

My Cal Zone.

(LASER g*ns WHOOSHING)

Time for evasive maneuvers.

Hang on tight,
everyone. Whoo-hoo!

(GRUNTS)

It's no use.
We're still taking heavy fire.

Don't worry. I'm gonna
slam on the brakes

and watch 'em fly right by.

(ALL SCREAM)

(ALL GRUNT)

(ALL SCREAM)

(GRUNTS)

Oh, no,
my blender was in there.

-(DAFFY GRUNTS)
-(BIGFOOT SCREAMS)

Captain's log.

After some amazing
flying by yours truly,

we've landed on
the distant moon of Glendor.

Our mission, to seek out
beaches and sunshine.

We're not searching
for a vacation spot.

We're here to find
the Rhombus Stone.

Captain's log. The rabbit
has become delusional.

I'm gonna have to employ
counter measures.

Hiya!

(GRUNTING)

(GROANS) Captain's log.
He's got me in an arm bar.

(GRUNTS) Captain's log.

Now he's got me pinned down.

Captain's log. Now he's
poking me in the eye!
Argh!

(RUSTLING)

Uh, any of you guys hear that?

Stay sharp, crew.

We are definitely
not alone on this planet.

Why? It could be
a fire-breathing space wombat.

Or a flying vampire
space lizard

- Or a--
- Gooba Gooba.

(SCREAMS)

Hey, it's my cousin,
Gooba Gooba.

Gooba Gooba?

Look, it's all my cousins.

There's Gooba Gooba,
Gooba Gooba...

Hey-hey, Gooba Gooba!
It's been a while.

Are all your cousins
named Gooba Gooba?

No. That one's Gooo-ba Gooba.

And that one is Gooba Goo-baa.

Right.

ELMER: Argh!
BUGS: Ouch!

Ow! Hey!
Why, you little twerp!

Wait. That's just how
the Gooba Goobas say hello.

Oh, hello!

Gooba!

- How are you?
Nice to meet you.
- Gooba!

This planet is the best!

Say, can you ask him
if they know where
the Rhombus Stone is?

Sure. Uh,
gooba-gooba, gooba-gooba?

Gooba, gooba, gooba.

They know,
but they wanna take us

to their village first
for a grand feast.

We don't have time for a--

Yes, we do. I'm starving.
Lead the way!

(CHATTERING)
Gooba, gooba, gooba...

(CHATTERING)
Gooba, gooba, gooba, gooba...

Wow! They're really
making us feel at home.

Now they've tied us up.

And now they're roasting us
over an open fire.

Open fire!

Oh, gee! I forgot.

When the tribe
meets a stranger,

it's a Gooba Gooba custom
to eat them.

That's kind of
a major detail to forget.

Tell them to let us go.

Uh, gooba, gooba-gooba.

Oh! Gooba-gooba,
gooba, gooba, gooba, gooba.

Sorry, but unless you guys
are a member of the tribe,

they're still
going to eat you.

How do we become
a member of the tribe?

One of you must beat them
in a traditional
tribal dance-off.

We'll dance! We'll dance!

Correction. I'll dance.

I'm gonna wipe the dance floor
with these fluff-ba*ls.

- Gooba!
- Nice to meet ya!

(UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

Gooba!

Actually, maybe
you should dance.

Gooba!

Gooba.

- Gooba.
- Gooba!

(BEATBOXING)

(VOCALIZING)
♪ Gooba gooba gooba... ♪

Uh...

(VOCALIZING)
♪ Gooba-gooba
Gooba, gooba... ♪

(CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)
Gooba, gooba, gooba...

Okay, Bigfoot,

now ask him where
we can find the Rhombus Stone.

Gooba, gooba-gooba?

Gooba!

It's in the scary,
creepy cave on the hill.

(THUNDER CRASHES)

(DAFFY SCREAMS)

Will you knock it off?

What? It's a scary cave.

Ugh!

NARRATOR: Will our heroes
enter the cave?

Will they find
the Rhombus Stone?

Will Daffy stop acting
like such a fraidy cat?

Stay tuned to find out.

NARRATOR: And so our heroes

entered the dark
and sinister cave

in search of
the Rhombus Stone.

Danger lurked
behind every corner.

The stench of evil
hung in the air.

Every step could
lead them to their doom.

All right! We get it!

Bigfoot, are we heading
in the right direction?

The Gooba Gooba said
the Rhombus stone

is somewhere in this cave

guarded by a giant
space monster.

Did you say
"giant space monster"?

Yeah. And he's
right over there.

(ROARS)

(SCREAMING IN TERROR)

(SCREAMS)

Run! For! Your! Life! (GRUNTS)

You know, I'm beginning
to suspect that
we're trapped down here.

(MONSTER ROARS)

Stand back. I got this.

(EXCLAIMS) Yeah!

- Ha!
-(MONSTER ROARS)

(MONSTER GROWLS)

Ha!

Hey! This monster's
filled with wires and gears.

No, I'm not.
I'm a real space monster.

I mean, uh,
you cut off my tail.

I will get you!

(GRUNTS)

Look at that.
It's a goat on stilts.

Uh, pay no attention
to the goat on stilts.

I will destroy you!

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!

(GRUNTS)

Who are you?

I am the guardian
of the Rhombus Stone.
That's who.

Turns out
the giant space monster

is just a harmless
little goat. Ha!

I'll show you harmless.

(GRUNTING) Argh!

Hey, leave him alone.

Oh. You want
a piece of me too, old man?

(STRAINING)

Mr. Goat, we're not here
to steal the Rhombus Stone,

we're here to protect it.

Ha! I've heard
that one before.

(STRAINING)

It's true.
They're Gemini Warriors.

Protectors of the galaxy.

Oh! It's over there
next to my bowling trophies.

You bowled a perfect game?
Very impressive.

All right. Let's get
the stone and get out of here.

Actually I will
be taking that.

Calzonius.

You have led me
right to the Rhombus Stone.

And now, I can
take over the universe!

You'll never
get away with this.

We'll stop you

even if we have to travel
to every corner
of the galaxy.

Actually, you are going
to be staying right here.

(LAUGHS)

(ALL GRUNT)

He's trapped us inside.
We're doomed.

How are we gonna get...

Ahem!

There's a back door in here?

Yeah. I had the cave
renovated last year.

I put in a hot tub too.

A hot tub. Don't mind if I do.

We don't have time for that.

We have to save the universe.

First, no tan.
And now, no hot tub.

So far, this trip
is a real bummer.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

With the power
of the Rhombus Stone,

I will finally
control the universe.

GUARD 1: Oh!

GUARD 2: Hey!

Hey!

(BUGLE BLARING)

Gooba!

(GRUNTS)

(EXCLAIMS) What the--

- Gooba!
-(GUARD GRUNTING)

(GUARD SCREAMING)

(CHATTERING)
Gooba, gooba, gooba...

Fight back, you fools.

They're just
harmless teddy bears.

Gooba, gooba, gooba, gooba...

CAL: (SCREAMS) Run away!

(CAL WHIMPERING)

You guys stay here
and help the Gooba Goobas.

I'll go get Calzonius.

-(GUARDS SNICKERING)
-(GOOBA GOOBA WHIMPERS)

Why don't you two pick on
someone your own size?

BOTH: Whoa!

You pick on you
and you pick on you!

- GUARDS: Ow!
-(GOOBA GOOBA LAUGHS)

Dance, hazmats, dance.
(LAUGHS)

(ALL GRUNTING)

Doing fine work, gentlemen.

We got them
right where we want them.

(SLURPING)

Hey, hey!
Move to the left a bit.

- You're blocking my sun here.
-(GUARDS GRUNTING)

Uh, what is that
passcode number again?

Is it my birthday?

(ALARM BUZZING)

- Is it my mother's birthday?
-(ALARM BUZZING)

My aunt's birthday?

BUGS: It's over, Calzonius.

Give me the Rhombus Stone.

It belongs to me.

(GRUNTS LOUDLY)

It was my aunt's birthday.

Yes! I feel the power.

And soon, you will too.

(STRAINING)

Use the fruit, Bugs,
the fruit...

Ah!

(GRUNTS)

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

(SCREAMS) My powerful eyes!

(SOBBING LOUDLY)

(GRUNTING) Oh!

(SPACESHIP REVVING)

(CAL SCREAMING)

You did it!
You got the Rhombus Stone.

Because he used the fruit.

I thought a tomato
was a vegetable.

A tomato is a fruit,

and a vegetable.

Now, let's see if this thing

really has the power
of a thousand suns.

Daffy, no!

Well, back to the feast.

(CHEERING LOUDLY)

Gooba Gooba!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)