03x09 - Yosemite Samson/Puppy's Got Claws

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

-(SERENE INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING)
-(CAWING)

Ah! Another
beautiful morning

in the valley of
mythical creatures.

Oh, no! My house!

Who do you
think you are?

The name is
Yosemite Samson

and I'm the
strongest man
in the world

on account of
my long hair.

Your hair
gives you strength?

That's right.

The longer my hair,
the more phonebooks
I can tear.

Hi-yah!
(SPITS)

The longer the mane,
the more my might
can cause pain.

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

(FEMININE VOICE)
Excuse me, mister,

can I borrow a
cup of sugar?

A-oooo-gah!

Why, of course you can,
pretty lady.

You can have
as much sugar
as you want, sugar.

I just moved
up the lock a piece.

And I guess we'll be
seeing each other
a lot more, huh?

Delilah,
I'm in love with you.

Will you marry me?

Oh, fiddledeedee,
silly man.

You can't just ask
a girl to marry you.

-(GRUNTING)
- You gotta go a
courtin' her first.

You know, like,
bring her flowers.

(GRUNTING)

Oh, I'll get you flowers.

Well, the flowers
I want are on top
of that mountain.

Huh?

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

But, there's a
big ol' Titan up there.

Oh, a big strong
man like you

isn't afraid of
a little ol' thing like
a Titan, are you?

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(MUSIC STOPS)

(GROWLING)

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

(SAMSON
SCREAMING AND GRUNTING)

(GRUNTS)

Here you are,
my love.

I changed my mind.

Now I want a pearl
from the bottom
of the lake.

Can't I just go to
a local department
store or somethin'?

Is that all I'm worth?

A trip to the
department store?

Well, in that case,
you can forget
the whole thing.

Oh, no, no, no, no!
I'm sorry.

I'll get you that pearl.

(SNORING)

(GRUNTS)

Crab-jam!

I'm not a baby!

Aha!

Whoa!

(NERVOUS CHUCKLE)

(SAMSON GRUNTING)

I did it.

Well, Samson!
I must say,
I am impressed.

Now, how about
giving me a kiss?

Mmmwaah!

Ooh, such soft lips.

Can we get
married now?

Oh, you may have
completed all my tasks,

but you've to
got to clean
yourself up a bit.

And I have
just the man
for the job.

Oh, Bruce.

Whoa!

O-M-G! What is
going on
with this hair?

I'll have this mane
tamed in no time.

You can't cut my hair!

That's where
I get my strength!

Oh, don't be
such a baby, baby.

Too new wave.

Too business in
the front, not enough
party in the back.

Too punk.
I know exactly
what to do.

Take a look.

(SCREAMING)
My hair!

My beautiful hair!

Samson, you clean up nice.

But my strength is gone.
Watch!

(GRUNTS)

Now, will you
marry me?

If you really wanna
marry me, you must
prove yourself worthy

in the gladiatorial games
in the old Colosseum.

There's an old Colosseum?

It's the valley of
mythical creatures.

- Now, off you go.
-(GRUNTING)

Welcome to today's
mythological action.

I'm with my griffin
in crime, Merv.

(SQUAWKING)

Okay, Sam, time to
prove you don't need
long, luxurious hair

to be a big, strong man.

Give me your worst!

Oh, hey, fellas.

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

Samson fought the wall
and the wall won.

(SQUAWKING)

(SAMSON GRUNTING)

I haven't seen
this much dribblin'

since I volunteered
at the daycare center.

(SQUAWKING)

You're absolutely
right, Merv.

He's taking it
to the hole.

(SAMSON GRUNTING)

Samson is getting a whackin'
from the Kraken.

-(RUMBLING)
- And with that move,

the Kraken is literally
bringing the house down.

This is Bugs and Merv
signing off.

(SQUAWKING)

My love life's in ruins.

You know, Samson
may need his hair
for strength,

but nothing beats
the strength of a hare.

(SQUAWKING)

(BARKING)

No, Frisky,
I can't play with you.

I have to go to the store
and get cranberry sauce

for my big
Thanksgiving Day feast.

(WHINING)

Oh, all right,
I'll let you
fetch it one time.

That's the old mustard.

Frisky,
that's not a ball!

That's a squirrel.

Hey! What's
the big idea, huh?

(GRUMBLING)

All right, Frisky.

Now, get back inside
so I can go to the store.

(HUMMING)

(MEOWING)

Gimme that fish.

No way!
I saw it first.

Aha!
Get back! Get back!

Look at that.
You two messed around
and ruined our dinner.

Guess I'll have to
eat this sandwich.

That's not a sandwich,
you cranially challenged
chowder head.

That's a phonebook.

(GULPS)
I thought that sandwich
was a little dry.

(SNIFFS)
Wait a minute.
(SNIFFS)

You guys smell something?

I think It's me.

That phonebook had
a little too much fiber.

It's not you.
I-I smell turkey!

It's coming from
behind that door.

(GRUNTING)
It's locked!

Don't worry.
I have a key.

Hey, I get it.
I'm the key.

(SNIFFING)

Look at all that food!

They got everything.
Turkey,
mashed potatoes...

And gravy!
Lots and lots of gravy!

You can put gravy
on the turkey,

gravy on the potatoes
or gravy on the gravy.

Or you can just
put gravy right
in your mouth.

Oh, stop saying gravy.

And who said
you can start eating, huh?

You told me to.

- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.

- No, I didn't. No, I didn't!
- Yes, you did.

PETE:
Yes, you did.

SYLVESTER:
No, I didn't!

(BARKING)

Dog! Go!

(BARKING)

Run! Run! Run! Run!

(PANTING)

(WHINING)

What are you two
scared of?

He's just a harmless
little critter.

Hey, poochie poochie poochie.

(BARKING)

Put me down,
you mangy coward!

Cat up,
you 'fraidy-babies.

If you want that turkey,
you have to
get rid of that puppy.

Let's go.

(BARKING)

ALL: Whoa!

(CATS SCREAMING)

Now, listen,
we've got to
get into that house.

Claude, you go 'round front.

Pete, go in
the upstairs window.

Can't we just go
back to eating
out of a garbage can?

We're gonna
get rid of that puppy

and have a nice
turkey dinner.

Now, let's go.

(EXCLAIMING)
Hey, who are you?

I asked you first!

Don't be smart
with me, pal!

Oh, you think
you're a tough guy, huh?

Oh, yeah? I can
take you to the cleaners.

You got it, pal!

Put up your dukes!

(GRUNTING)

(BARKING)

So, you wanna play, huh?

Okay, maybe
we should try
another game.

-(BARKING)
-(SCREAMING)

(BARKS)

Float like a butterfly,
sting like a puma.

Hey!

(SCREAMING)

What do you think
you're doing,
you blithering baboons.

You couldn't get rid
of this puppy?
Give me that.

Go fetch, you mutt.

(GRUNTING)

Hmm?

Yaah!

(SCREAMING)

Oh, my!
What happened?

(SCREAMING)

I've heard of it
raining cats and dogs,

but this is ridiculous.

I don't suppose you cats
would want to join
Frisky and I for dinner.

(BARKING)

Oh, well,
Happy Thanksgiving!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)