03x37 - Bah, Hamburger

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

Guess what.
A certain cat I know is in for a treat.

-[meows]
-Of course I mean you.

You don't see any other cats in here,
do you?

Now, look at this.
It's a new kind of cat food.

The commercial was so cute.
I told Mom we had to get some.

Here, try it.

You barely even sniffed it.

Come on.

Aunt Carol's cat Mikey loves this.

Boy, I knew some cats were finicky,
but I thought you were different.

I mean, what's wrong with
trying something new?

After all, a little adventure is fun
every now and then.

[theme music playing]

♪ Hold on to your seat
Let's go for a ride ♪

♪ Now that we're here
On the other side ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ It's a curious place
With a wonderful crew ♪

♪ And you're never quite sure
What they will do ♪

♪ Use your imagination
You'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

[chattering]

I don't know what to get.
The food all look so delicious.

This is one of Wonderland's
classiest restaurants.

If it's so classy, why can't they
even spell their own name correctly?

Everyone knows that cheese
is spelled C-H-E-E-S-E.

Not C-H-E-Z.

-[laughs]
-It doesn't say "cheese."

C-H-E-Z is pronounced "shay."

It's French for "at the place of."

You must feel pretty silly.

Yes. But why should today be different
from any other day?

-[laughs] Good one there!
-[clears throat]

Have you decided
what you want for lunch yet?

How can we?

It all looks so good.

[pop music playing]

♪ I could start with a salad
Crisp, cold and green ♪

♪ A nice hot bowl of soup
Sounds good to me ♪

♪ Or a plateful of pasta
With tomato sauce ♪

♪ Or a big potato cut crisscross ♪

♪ Decisions, decisions
Which ones to pick? ♪

♪ Decisions, decisions ♪

♪ Choosing the right thing
That's the trick ♪

Hm. Let me see. Oh!

♪ Grilled chicken on a bed of rice ♪

♪ The tuna fish sandwich
Sure sounds nice ♪

♪ Or maybe a fruit plate would be enough ♪

♪ Making a choice can sure be tough ♪

♪ Decisions, decisions
There's so much to choose ♪

♪ Decisions, decisions
There's no way we can lose ♪

♪ Decisions, decisions
Which ones to pick? ♪

♪ Decisions, decisions ♪

♪ Choosing the right thing
That's the trick ♪

Well, to be perfectly honest with you,
I'll have the chicken salad.

Uh, hold the chicken.

Why do you want him to hold the chicken?

No, he means he doesn't want chicken
on his chicken salad.

Oh! Well, in that case,
I'll have the macaroni salad.

Hold the macaroni.

I'll have a macaroni salad, with macaroni.

I'll have what she's having.

Why should Alice have to share?
Order your own food.

No, he means...

Never mind.

And for you, sir?

I'll have a hamburger and fries.

Sir, Chez Wonderland is for gourmets,

people who enjoy the finest food.

If you want hamburger,

may I suggest Chez Stadium,
the cheap diner across the street.

We don't serve hamburgers.

Then it's a good thing I brought this.

[gasps]

Oh, brother, brother. Did you have to?

What's the big deal? I figured
this place wouldn't have anything I like.

This is so embarrassing.

I'll say. Obviously he didn't
bring enough for everyone.

You really didn't see anything
you'd like to eat on the menu, Mr. Dum?

Alice, let me explain
something about my brother.

If it's good for him, he won't eat it.
He's the king of junk food.

He's had hamburgers and fries for lunch
every day this week.

-Uh-uh. That's not true.
-It's not?

Yesterday I had a burger with onion rings.

The day before that,
burger with potato chips.

The day before that,
burger with extra bacon.

[chattering]

Hm. Ah!

Hey, Caterpillar.
What are you doing with the macaroni?

Creating a self-portrait.

In pasta.

Of course,
not only is pasta artistically pleasing,

it's very nutritious.

Great. I suppose I'm gonna get
the nutrition lecture from you too.

-Huh?
-[groans]

Look, a bunch of us were having lunch
at that gourmet restaurant,

Chez Wonderland,

and everyone got mad at me
because I brought a hamburger and fries

instead of ordering from the menu.

A-ha!

I think you should listen to this story.

Once there was a goat named Bob
who had terrible eating habits.

While the rest of the goats
enjoyed nutritious meals

of fruits and vegetables and cereal,

Bob just ate junk food.

Bob's friends told him that eating junk
was no way to stay in shape.

But he wouldn't listen to them.

As time passed,
Bob got more and more out of shape.

Soon he gained a lot of weight.

In fact, you might say
he developed a real spare tire.

Then one day, the goats decided to visit
their cousins in the mountains.

So they packed up the kids
and started hiking.

However,
Bob had a little trouble keeping up.

He was too out of shape
to walk up the mountainside.

Finally, his friends had to go on
without him.

So instead of having a fun vacation
at the top of the mountain,

Bob had a lonely time
at the bottom of the heap.

Well, I hope that story
gave you something to chew on.

I couldn't chew on another thing.
I ate too much at lunch.

[laughs] Uh--

No.

In this case, something to chew on

means something to think about.

But the goat in the story lost out
because he ate tin cans and old tires.

I eat good stuff. Like burgers
and fries and donuts and candy.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

after that lunch I ate, I need a nap.

See you.

Man, imagine everyone thinking
I eat too much junk food. Ha!

That's the silliest thing I've ever heard.

[pained moaning]

Who's that?

[moaning continues]

Hare, is that you?

You're almost as pale as the White Rabbit.

I am not the March Hare.

I am the Ghost of Junk Food Marley.

A hare with terrible eating habits.

Well, whoever you are,
why do you have that food all over you?

Believe me,

it isn't my idea of a fashion accessory.

This heavy chain
is the junk food I ate in life.

I made it myself

cupcake by cupcake,

fry by fry.

-Oh.
-[moaning continues]

So why are you moaning?

Hey, you try wandering the afterlife
with a stomachache like mine,

and that's why I'm here to warn you.

You will be visited by three more spirits.

Thanks, I'll take it from here, buddy.

Hi.

Ghost of Nutrition Past,
super to meet you.

Care for a healthy snack?

Uh, no, thanks.

I'm not much for fruits and vegetables.

What did I tell you?

He's a real hard case.

Yeah. Just leave him to me.

Now, shall we go?

Go? Hatter, listen,
I was trying to take a nap--

He's not the Mad Hatter!

He is the Ghost of Nutrition Past.

And it's past time
for us to get back to the past.

Hey! Wait.

So long.

Don't forget to write.

Hey, this is where I grew up.

[gasps] That's me as a little kid.

And my brother.

And my Mama and Papa.

Hey, you guys, it's me.

No, no, they can't hear us or see us.

Just watch.

May I be excused please, Mama?
I ate all my vegetables.

Of course, Tweedle Dee. Go on and play.

What about you, Tweedle Dum?

-Aren't you gonna eat your vegetables?
-I don't want to. They taste icky.

They're nutritious.
They'll help you grow up big and strong.

I don't care.

I want ice cream

and chocolate cake,

and candy,

and potato chips,

and french fries.

Oh! Papa, what are we gonna do
with Tweedle Dum?

He's such a little dickens.

He won't eat anything but junk food.

[blues music playing]

♪ I sautéed scallops, tossed green salad ♪

♪ I offered to cook you
Anything your heart desired ♪

♪ But the junk you choose ♪

♪ Is giving us the junk food blues ♪

Hit it, Pa.

♪ You never eat fresh food
Everything is fried ♪

♪ It's greasy, it's sweet
And no nutrients inside ♪

♪ I stewed tomatoes
Cooked rice and potatoes ♪

♪ I offered to cook you
Anything your heart desired ♪

♪ But the junk you choose ♪

♪ Is giving us the junk food blues ♪

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

♪ The junky junk food ♪

♪ Is giving us the junk food blues ♪

Yeah, tell him, Mama.

Well, Mama,
maybe it's not as bad as we think.

After all, he looks healthy.

Hm. Maybe so.
But if he keeps eating junk food,

there's no doubt that someday
he will end up a very unhealthy Tweedle.

Gee, I never realized my parents
worried so much.

-So you've learned something then?
-Sure.

I've learned that their worries
were for nothing.

Eating junk food hasn't hurt me a bit.

I give up.
I'm turning you over to the next ghost.

Spirit. Where are you? Spirit!

Goodness. You don't have to shout.

-Your Majesty.
-I'm not Her Majesty.

I'm the Ghost of Nutrition Present.

But you look just like the Queen.
Except maybe for the hat.

Oh, you like it?

It's full of healthy nutritious food.

Fruits. Vegetables.

Cereal. Beans. Rice.

Do you have any sugar donuts?
I could use some dessert.

I said healthy, you chucklehead.

That doesn't include sugar donuts,

salty french fries or greasy hamburgers.

You sure you're not the Queen?

You sound a lot like her.

Maybe so.

But can the Queen do this?

Hey, there's my brother
and Alice and Hatter.

Looks like they're planning something.

Hi, guys.

Didn't you learn anything
from the Ghost of Nutrition Past?

They can't hear you or see you.
Now just watch.

I feel bad hiding from him like this.

So do I, but it's for the best.

We'll tell everyone to meet us
at the Queen's for dinner,

everyone, that is, but my brother.

Everyone but me?

Since when did you exclude me
from the fun?

I guess he wouldn't wanna go
to a fresh food buffet dinner anyway.

How true that is.

After all, there's no such thing
as junk food fruit.

-Junk food fruit!
-[laughing]

Fine. Go to your buffet
and eat your healthy food.

Who needs it?

You can take me back now, spirit.
I've seen enough.

As you wish.

Who did that spirit think she was?

I don't care
if she did look like the Queen,

she had no right to...

-Ah!
-Ah!

Oh. It's you, Rabbit.

I am not the Rabbit.

My card.

[Dum] "Ghost of Nutrition Future.

You've tried the rest, now try the best."

Sorry, I should've known.

Okay, spirit, let's get this over with.

Well, what sort of attitude is that?

Most people would be thrilled to know
what happens to them in the future.

All I wanna know is,
in the future, do I get to finish my nap?

Oh! [laughs]

Sorry. But you still have a lot to learn
about nutrition.

Let's go. We have a lot of years to cover.

[mumbling]

Here we go.

-Watch it--
-Oh!

Oh, boy!

Wow, we must have gone
pretty far into the future.

Hatter and Hare really look old.

-I don't suppose I can talk to them.
-Sorry. You know the rules.

Gee, they seem to have aged well.
The Hare's hair hasn't even turned gray.

Oh, please.

It's only the most obvious dye job
I've ever seen.

Shh! Now listen.

Huh?

It's past 4:00
and the Tweedles still aren't here.

Well, Tweedle Dum doesn't move too quickly
these days, you know.

On the other hand, neither do we.

-[yawns]
-No. No, we don't.

Well, they'd better hurry.
I feel another nap coming on.

Look at the Dormouse.

I can't wait to see what
I'm gonna look like as an old Tweedle.

[Future Dee] Here we are, guys.

[Future Dum groaning]

We'll be right there.

Okay, hold.

Could you give me a hand? Come.

-No problem. We're coming.
-Watch the--

[all mumbling, then grunting]

Oh! Sorry, we're late.

We took a shortcut through the forest

and my brother got stuck
between two trees.

I guess I shouldn't have had
the second dozen donuts before we left.

That blimp is me?

It can't be.

I look like a giant beach ball.

[chuckles] Well, I guess that's what comes

from a life of eating
fat-filled junk food.

-Let's all have tea, huh?
-Oh, yeah.

Have a crumpet, everyone.

A crumpet.

Um, I can't reach mine.

Oh, sorry.

Here you go, Dum.

No, no--

-I've got him. I've got him.
-[groaning]

I'm sorry.

This is always happening at home.

Frankly, it's the only exercise he gets.

The rest of the time he just...
sits around.

[dramatic music playing]

♪ His state is really sad
His health has gotten bad ♪

♪ We used to play outdoors
Now he can't get off the floor ♪

♪ He's just sitting around the house
He doesn't get out any more ♪

♪ He's just sitting around the house
He forgot what his legs were for ♪

♪ All he does is sit around
There's nothing else that he can do ♪

♪ He's gotten hopelessly fat
You can see where that's at ♪

♪ He got himself into this stew
With all the junk food he did chew ♪

♪ His state is really sad
His health has gotten bad ♪

♪ We used to play outdoors
Now he can't get off the floor ♪

♪ He's just sitting around the house ♪

Oh, Dum.

-[laughing]
-Look at that.

Say, that gives me an idea.

Help him up.

[grunting]

Why don't we all go over
to the Wonderland playground

and sh**t some hoops?

Sounds great.

I may be an old Hatter

but I can still show
those young whippersnappers

a few moves.

Me too.

I've still got the best slam dunk
on the basketball court.

All right, let's go.

Oh. Unless you want us
to stay here with you, Dum.

No, that's okay.

You guys go ahead.

All right. Come on.

All righty, Dum, bye-bye.

How can they just leave me behind?
Can't they tell I wanna play too?

You can't be serious.

I mean,
have you looked at yourself lately?

Spirit, tell me,

is this the future that will be,
or the future that might be?

Uh... [hums]

But I don't wanna turn in
to a tubby Tweedle.

I wanna be able to run and play games.

I swear, from now on,
I'll only eat nutritious food.

[laughs]

Please.
Tell me this doesn't have to happen.

Tell me. Tell me!

Tell me! Tell me!

Tell me! Tell me!

Tell you what?

Oh, no, not another ghost.

Ghost? What--?

No. I'm just your friendly neighborhood
Cheshire Cat.

Oh, thank goodness.
Then I must be back in the present.

Hm. Say, Dum, what's eating you?

Nothing. The problem is what I'm eating.

Or at least what I used to be eating.

Sorry, you've lost me.

Wait, Cat, what time is it?

Not quite supper time. Why?

I can't believe it.
I haven't missed dinner.

The spirits have done it all
in one afternoon.

If I hurry, I can still meet the others
at the Queen's dinner party.

[Red Queen] Mmm!

What truly tempting tasty treats.

Well, queens first.

Oh!

Bran muffins.

Pasta.

Fruits. Veggies.

This food looks good enough to eat.

Hare, I believe that's the idea.

[Dum] Wait for me!

Dum, what are you doing here?

What did you bring this time? Chili dogs?

I didn't bring anything
except an appetite for nutritious food.

-Huh?
-You--?

But, Mr. Dum,
we thought you only liked junk food.

That was the old me.
The new me believes in good nutrition.

So you don't like hamburgers and fries
and all that stuff anymore?

Well, maybe as a treat every now and then.

But not every day.

Nobody needs all that fat
and sugar and grease and salt.

From now on,

it's salad,

and pasta,

and cereal,

and fruit for me.

Oh!

Uh, are you the real Tweedle Dum?

Oh, stop that.

Obviously, Tweedle Dum
has simply used his head

and had a change of heart about
what he puts in his stomach.

And I for one applaud him.

While you're applauding him,
you mind if I cut in front of you there?

Oh, thanks. This does look terrific--

-Just going back...
-Mm-hm.

What's the deal?
Why did you decide to junk the junk food?

Let's just say I decided
it's better to eat well-rounded meals

than end up an over-rounded person.

Oh, good.

And speaking of well-rounded meals,

since you've joined us for dinner,
let's eat.

[pop music playing]

♪ The table is set ♪

♪ And all our friends are here ♪

♪ Load your plates with goodies
Fill your hearts with cheer ♪

♪ Let's have a dinner party
It all looks so delicious ♪

♪ Our appetites are hardy
For everything nutritious ♪

♪ Let's have a dinner party ♪

♪ The menu can't be beat ♪

♪ Dum is now a smarty ♪

♪ Watch the way he eats ♪

♪ Beans, rice and pasta ♪

♪ Fresh vegetables galore ♪

♪ Please pass me down everything ♪

♪ I think I'll have some more ♪

♪ Let's have a dinner party ♪

♪ It all looks so delicious ♪

♪ Our appetites are hardy ♪

♪ For everything nutritious ♪

♪ Let's have a dinner party ♪

♪ The menu can't be beat ♪

♪ Dum is now a smarty ♪

♪ Watch the way he eats ♪

So you decided to try
the new cat food after all.

Gee, I guess that makes you
a regular kitty gourmet.

Speaking of food, I'm a little hungry.
I think I'll get an orange.

No, it's not for you.
I know cats don't eat oranges.

Besides, you've already had
your delicious snack.

Now, it's my turn.

Come on, you can keep me company.

[theme music playing]

♪ That's all for now
But we'll see you again ♪

♪ Come back real soon
Now that we're all friends ♪

♪ Where every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventures in Wonderland ♪