03x21 - Wonderland: The Movie

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

You know, Dinah, having a pen pal is fun
but it's also kind of hard.

I guess Yvette is my friend,

but we know each other
through the letters we write,

because she lives in France.

Who knows if we'll ever meet in person.

If we do meet,
will we still like each other?

After all,
the places we live are so different.

I know a place that's really different.

I get along with everyone there just fine.

[theme music playing]

♪ Hold on to your seat
Let's go for a ride ♪

♪ Now that we're here
On the other side ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ It's a curious place
With a wonderful crew ♪

♪ And you're never quite sure
What they will do ♪

♪ Use your imagination
You'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

[chattering]

-Attention, please. Attention. Attention.
-[chattering continues]

Uh, ladies and gent--

[yells] Your attention please!

[clears throat]

What you're about to see is a documentary,

that is to say a movie about real life,
real people.

And in this case, real royalty.

In other words, me.

Don't forget the real star of the movie,
yours truly.

Star of the show indeed.

Hey! Who's been hogging up
all the popcorn?

-I didn't know you like it buttered.
-Oh!

Uh, yes. Well, just sit back, relax,

and enjoy a very special film
about a very special, uh...

friendship.

[Hatter] Hot dog! Let's going now.

-[Dum] Hey, what--?
-[Hatter] We can't see nothing!

Guys, stop it!

-[dramatic music playing]
-[roars]

[audience applauding]

[man] Wonderland Studios presents
Queen and Duchess-- Forever Friends.

Your Majesty, when did your friendship
with the Duchess begin?

Oh! Years ago.

I was only a princess when her family
moved into the castle next door.

She was a rather boring girl.

But my mother always told me,
"Be nice to everyone,

no matter how dull they are."

Now remember, no elbows on the table.

Or I'll raise taxes again.

[knocking on door]

Hi, you must be little duchess
from next door.

Come on in. I love making new friends.

-We'll have fun.
-Fun?

I don't know if I can.
I'm a very dull and unlikable person.

Don't worry. Stick with me,
and soon you'll be fun-loving and popular.

-As fun-loving and popular as you are?
-Don't push it.

Oh, how can I ever thank you?
If not for you,

I'd be doomed to spend the rest of my life
being as dull as dishwater.

And that's how it all started. [chuckles]

Thanks to me, that frumpy child ended up

as the mildly interesting duchess
she is today.

[laughs]

-[chattering]
-That's not what happened!

I demand equal time.
Where is my interview?

Uh, Your Grace, I believe you get to tell
your side of the story, uh, next.

Oh.

Well, okay then, start the projector.
Now you'll see the real story.

Just between you and me,
when I first met the Queen

she had the social grace
of a cornered badger.

But as my mommy always said, "Everyone,
even someone as difficult as Twinkle Toes,

has at least a slim chance
of learning a little class."

Boring.
I want to tell real people what to do.

At least dolls never talk back.

We gotta give orders to them together.

I give up. Why are you so nice to me?

I'm spoiled and bad-tempered.

I don't mind. Stick with me
and soon you'll be polite and lovable.

-As polite and lovable as you are?
-Don't push it.

Oh, how can I ever thank you?
If not for you,

I'd be doomed to grow up
into a crappy queen.

[laughs] And so our friendship began.

Thanks to me,

Twinkle Toes turned out to be only half
the cranky fussbudget she might have been.

Naturally.

[chattering]

I protest. I thought documentaries
were supposed to be about the truth.

Ah!

Uh, don't worry.
I think there are more interviews to come.

If you just watch the rest of the movie,
I'm sure you'll be pleased--

Well... all right.

[man] Mr. Hatter, Mr. Hare,

would either of you
like to make an opening statement?

I'd like to say it's about time
someone made a documentary like this.

Hare and I have been working
on a few ideas for the movie's title.

How about this one?
Hare and Hatter The Movie.

Hare and Hatter?
I thought we agreed on Hatter and Hare.

No, no, no. I clearly remember
my name was supposed to come first.

Actually, this movie features
the Queen and the Duchess.

-Guest stars!
-Guest stars! Great.

Now, how would I describe
my friendship with the Hare?

Let's see.
I'd say, we're like two peas in a pod.

I'd say that was a great simile.

A simile being a way of comparing things
using "like" or "as."

So I can also say,
our friendship is as solid as a rock.

You go together like cheese and crackers.

Dormouse, you're as wise as an owl.

Or as smart as a whip,
to use another simile.

[dance music playing]

♪ To what can I compare
This very special Hare? ♪

♪ Or I for that matter
My chum the Hatter? ♪

♪ He sings like a bird ♪

♪ He shines like the sun ♪

♪ He's honest as a mirror ♪

-♪ He's second to none ♪
-♪ He's second to none ♪

♪ To describe the special friendship
Of an extra loyal pair ♪

♪ We say they get along
Like the Hatter and the Hare ♪

♪ He's graceful like a dancer
Generous as a king ♪

♪ I love him like as a brother
He's great at everything ♪

♪ He's funny like a clown
Tickling my brain ♪

-♪ Pure as a daisy after the rain ♪
-♪ La-di-da rain ♪

♪ To describe the special friendship
Of an extra loyal pair ♪

♪ We say they get along
Like the Hatter and the Hare ♪

♪ We say they get along
Like the Hatter and the Hare ♪

[man] Uh, that's great.

But this movie is about the Duchess
and Queen's friendship. Not yours.

The Duchess and the Queen's friendship?

Why would the movie-going public
give a hoot about that?

[man] Mr. Rabbit, please tell us about
the Queen and Duchess' relationship,

how they get along with each other.

[stammering] Oh, yeah-- Yes. Uh...

-Just speak in a normal voice.
-Oh. Right.

Uh...

As the Queen's right-hand rabbit,

I have had many opportunities to watch
her relationship with the Duchess.

Based on this,
I would have to say that they are friends.

Thank you. May I go now?

Wait! You must be able to say more
than just "they're friends."

Oh. Uh...

Well, all right.

Uh...

The Queen and the Duchess...

have a wonderful relationship?

Um, they are the best of friends.

Not that they don't have
their disagreements.

You know the Queen's temper.
Some days she's in such a bad mood,

I have to turn on my answering machine
and hide in the woods.

[laughs] Wait. Um...

Can we start again?

You'll cut that last part out, right?
Right?

[man] Alice, you've made many friends
in Wonderland, isn't that right?

Sure. A lot of friends. In fact--

Excuse me, but you wouldn't be looking
for a new movie star, would you?

Someone with a nice smile.

[man] We don't need any actors.
This is a documentary.

A documentary? You mean it's all real?

[purrs] Too bad. Not only can I act,
but I'm also great at special effects.

Anyway, the thing that's nice about
the Queen and the Duchess' friendship

is that they cooperate with each other.
You know, work together, help each other.

I remember one time,

when the Queen needed help
to find stuff to use at a party,

the store was closed, anyway...

Alice, this is a disaster.

I'm throwing a party for 300 guests,
and I don't have party decorations.

When the Rabbit went to buy everything,
the party store was closed.

Closed? Why?

Everyone from the store was at a party.

Have no fear, the Duchess is here.

Duchy, I'm having enough troubles,
I don't need you giving me a hard time.

Perish the thought. I'm here to help.

Me too.

That's what friends do.
Lend a helping hand.

[pop music playing]

♪ They say a friend in need
Is a friend indeed ♪

♪ And I know just what they mean ♪

♪ Time and time again
It's good to help a friend ♪

♪ Especially if it's you, Queen ♪

♪ Lend a helping hand, do what you can
That's what friendship is about ♪

♪ Give it all you've got
Give it your best shot ♪

♪ If a friend is in trouble help her out ♪

♪ Lend a helping hand ♪

♪ Every now and then we all need a friend
To help us through a difficult time ♪

♪ And that's what friendship's for
Not keeping score ♪

♪ There's no mountain
That a true friend won't climb ♪

♪ So I lend a helping hand
And do what I can ♪

♪ That's what friendship's all about ♪

♪ I'll give it all I've got
I'll give it my best shot ♪

♪ To help work my friend's problem out
I'll lend a helping hand ♪

♪ Lend a helping hand ♪

If you all just cooperate,
we can help decorate this place.

We'll tear up the curtains
in the throne room, we'll make ribbons.

Cut up some of your outdated dresses,
make them into napkins and placemats.

There must be at least 50 pictures
of you around the palace.

We'll put them in the royal shredder
and make confetti!

-Tear my curtains?
-Yes.

-Cut my dresses? Shred my pictures?
-Uh-huh!

Oh, those are awful ideas!

Well, if you don't like my suggestions,
you might as well not have a party.

Don't have a party?

That's it.
I'll simply cancel the whole thing.

But, Your Majesty, won't it be,
well, impolite to your 300 guests

-to cancel the party at the last minute?
-Oh! Who cares?

The important thing is,
I won't be embarrassed.

Thanks for the great idea, Duchy.

No problem. What are friends for?

Even if their way of cooperating
is a little...

different, it seems to work for them.

-[Hare] What happened?
-[chattering]

Not to worry. Not to worry. I've got it.

I've got it under control. I...

There, the projector's all threaded.
I just need to get untangled.

Good enough. Turn it on.

[stammering] Oh, yes, Your Majesty.

Are my ears straight?

My whiskers don't need combing?

-[man] You look fine.
-[yelps]

-[man] Go ahead.
-Right.

I would like to set the record straight.
The Queen--

The Queen and the Duchess
have a great relationship.

There are those who'd say

that two people with such high opinions
of themselves couldn't get along.

But somehow they always do.

Though I can't imagine how.

Wait.

That didn't sound right.

Can we start again?

This documentary is in color, isn't it?

Black and white simply doesn't show off
my handsome greenness.

[man] Yes, of course.
Now, about the Queen and the Duchess.

Well, actually,
I don't see a lot of either of them.

Except, of course, when they want
my expert advice on something.

Uh, however,
I do have a few thoughts on friendship.

Listen to this story.

This is a tale of a bat and a bird
who lived in a tall tree.

The bird had her nest
in the high branches.

And the bat lived in a hollow trunk.

But they were not friends.

The bat complained
that the bird kept him awake all day.

And the bird complained
that the bat kept her awake all night.

Finally, their neighbors complained
about all their complaining.

The bird and bat each decided
to do something.

The bat bought sunglasses
to make the day look dark

so he could stay awake with the bird.

The bird bought a light

so she could see at night
and stay awake with the bat.

But they had simply switched places.

Things were no better than before.

Then as they were about to complain again,

the bat and the bird realized something.

At least each of them was thinking
of the other one first.

So they decided on a new plan.
One week, they would stay up all night.

And the next week,
they both would stay up all day.

Not only did they each get some sleep...

but from then on,
the bat and the bird were best buddies.

[man] I see. You're saying
that like the bird and the bat,

true friends are never selfish.

Is that true of the Queen and the Duchess?

The Queen and the Duchess never selfish?
[laughing]

No comment.

When you came to Tweedle Dum
and Tweedle Dee to talk friendship,

you came to the right guys.

We're more than brothers. We're friends.

We're more than friends.

We're buddies, pals, partners, comrades,
companions, chums and sidekicks.

But about the Queen and the Duchess...

you could say they're interested
in the same things.

Can we frame a portrait or what?

Just picture this on the Queen's wall.

That's nice.
I don't suppose you could make one for me.

You want a picture of the Queen?

Make a paper airplane maybe.

I already have a picture of Twinkle Toes.

I mean my... my dear good friend.

Could you frame a picture of me?

Sure. Picture this.

[funk music playing]

♪ Picture this picture
In a frame that's gilt ♪

♪ Something spectacular and well-built ♪

♪ Picture this picture frame with shells
With pearly pearls and silver bells ♪

♪ Picture for yourself a picture frame
Bringing you glory and acclaim ♪

♪ There's so much that we can do
To make this picture grand like you ♪

♪ We're true artists through and through ♪

♪ Picture this picture
With a frame that's unique ♪

♪ A picture you would find
Hanging in a boutique ♪

♪ Picture this picture
Framed with a mirror ♪

♪ So when you get closer
Your face gets clearer ♪

♪ Picture for yourself a picture frame
Bringing you glory and acclaim ♪

♪ There's so much that we can do ♪

♪ To make this picture grand like you ♪

♪ We're true artists through and through ♪

♪ All the way through ♪

Perfect.

Remember, I want my picture

to be exactly like this of the Queen.

Only bigger, of course.

Oh, it's beautiful.

And the frame's nice too. Oh!

Hey. What's that?

Oh, the Duchess ordered it.

Just like yours, only bigger.

Bigger? Why, she can't get away with that.

I want a new picture bigger than hers.

Oh, really?

I want another one.

Even bigger.

Bigger.

Bigger.

Bigger!

Bigger!

-Biggest!
-Biggest!

All right. We finished your pictures,
and they're as big as we can make them.

One problem.

What's that?

Well, we made the faces so big...

they don't quite fit in the frames.

[in unison] Oh!

[man] I don't see what interests you say
the Queen and the Duchess share.

Isn't it obvious?

They share an interest
in outdoing each other.

[man] We're here with Mr. X and Mr. Y,
who claim to have information to tell us.

Go ahead, Mr. Y.

I just wanna say

this Queen-Duchess friendship thing
is overrated.

There are many friends

who would be much more interesting
in a documentary.

-Like the Hatter and the Hare, Mr. Y.
-Good suggestion, Mr. X.

Now there are true friends.

It doesn't matter to us
if you pick Hatter and Hare for the movie.

How true that is.

If you do make a documentary about them,

I wouldn't be surprised
if there were crumpets in it for you.

-That's a cut?
-Does it cut there?

-I think that went well.
-Absolutely.

Your disguise was wonderful.

Oh, thank you.

-Hey!
-Give it a rest. Come on.

Don't try to sneak out of here.

I want a word with you after the movie.

[yelps]

[clears throat]

There's a rumor going around

that I don't think the Queen
and the Duchess are friends.

Well, it's not true.

Of course, when I say it's not true, I...
I don't mean about them being friends.

I... I mean about my not thinking so.

Which I don't.

Think their friends.

No! They're not friends.

I mean, they are friends,
but I don't not think so.

I mean... I meant to say that...

Oh, I'm sorry. This won't work.
I mean it. Cut.

Stop the camera! Oh! [groans]

[man] We've heard citizens of Wonderland
talk about your wonderful friendship.

Do you have any final comments?
Your Majesty?

Uh, I would just like to say

that the Duchess and I are good friends
for several reasons.

We share many interests.

And, uh, we cooperate with each other.

And most important of all,
we always think of the other one first.

Oh! I agree with you completely,
except for one teensy-tiny little thing.

I think the most important thing
about our friendship is that we cooperate.

I think you meant
we think of the other one first.

No, you're confused. It's cooperate.

You're confused.
It's that we think of the other.

Cooperate.

-Think of the other. There's no...
-Cooperate.

[man] We hope our documentary
has helped you understand true friendship.

In the words of the Red Queen...

"Even a queen needs friends.

Or at least a few subjects
whom she can order to be nice to her."

[audience applauding]

That was great. It's really fun
to see yourself in a movie.

What little of me was in it.

My best scenes wound up
on the cutting room floor.

Excuse me. Pardon me.

Well, it wasn't too bad.

Except for some things
some of my subjects said.

[stammers] Oh, uh...

Just keep repeating:
It's only a movie. It's only a movie.

I thought everyone's comments
were truthful.

Oh, harrumph.

The two of you...

A great movie. The only question I have
is who were Mr. X and Mr. Y?

That's one of those mysteries
that will never be solved.

What did you think, brother?
Did they show my best side?

No, but that's okay.
I think everyone was watching me anyway.

Well, I'm still not happy.

It was supposed to be about friendship.

It made us look like all we do is argue.

Well, you were the one
doing most of the arguing.

As I recall, I came off well.

Don't worry, Your Majesty.
Even friends disagree sometimes.

Exactly, Twinkle Toes.

Even though we have a rocky relationship,
we're friends till the end.

[pop music playing]

♪ You're lucky to have found me
I've given you so much ♪

♪ You've changed your common ways
You've got the royal touch ♪

♪ My dear, you wouldn't be
Where you are today ♪

♪ Without my royal example
You wouldn't be so g*y ♪

♪ Nothing's ever gonna trip
Up our royal relationship ♪

♪ So kick your feet and say hip-hip
To our royal relationship ♪

♪ Now you rule so humbly
Since taking my advice ♪

♪ Your subjects sing your praises
You only raised taxes twice ♪

♪ Look how far you've come
You once were such a drip ♪

♪ I taught you how to dress
And how to christen a ship ♪

♪ And nothing's ever gonna trip
Up our royal relationship ♪

♪ So kick your feet and say hip-hip ♪

♪ To our royal relationship ♪

♪ Here's to our royal relationship ♪

You know, Dinah, even though
my pen pal Yvette lives far away,

I think we're good friends.

We like the same things.
We answer each other's letters right away.

She even helps me learn French.

I guess you don't need to be close
to be close friends.

[theme music playing]

♪ That's all for now
But we'll see you again ♪

♪ Come back real soon
Now that we're all friends ♪

♪ Where every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventures in Wonderland ♪