03x10 - Zip Your Fly/Puddle Jumping

[bunniefuu]

- Ah ha ha ha ha ha!

- Truth is always strange.
Stranger than fiction.

- The following episode
is based on a true story.

- Here comes billy!

[Crash]

Scooooooores!

Hee hee hee hee hee!

Hey, grim, go deep!

- How many times have I told you
never to bounce that...

[Gasp]

My robe!

I can't have coffee stains
on my robe.

I'll look shabby.

- Grim,
why don't you quit whining

And put it under
some running water
before it sets?

- Ah, good idea.

[Grunting]

Well, it seems to be stuck.

No matter.

I'll have to deal
with this pesky zipper later.

Oh, I can feel
that stain settin' in.

- I have the distinct feeling

Something weird
is about to happen.

- [Babbling]

What's this?

- Pull it and find out.

- [Grunting, babbling]

Come on!

Huh?
This thing is fun.

- A man-ape like you
shouldn't be playing with that.

Hand it over.

- Hee hee hee hee!

h* h* h* h* h*!

Yeah!

Behold my dadmomdy.

Hee hee hee hee!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[Cat screeching]

- I can already tell
this thing's gonna be trouble.

- Hee hee hee hee!

Hey, mandy, can we keep it?

- All right, that's enough.

I suppose I should
give this back to grim.

After I take it out
for a spin.

- Hey, mandy,
where'd you get that zipper?

From sperg's pants?

[All laughing]

- Zip it, mindy.

- Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh!

[Muffled screams]

- Hmm, the zipper can
use its powers for good.

- Uh, mandy, you look thirsty.
How about a little o.j.?

[Grunting]

Aaaaahhhhhh!

- Hey, you gonna eat that?

- That depends.

- Mine!

Aaahhhhhh!

Whoah!

- Whoaah!

- Have some juice.

- Hey, it smells funny in here.

- Get used to it.

That should keep
you two buffoons
busy for a while.

[Muffled screams]

- Hey, mandy, want a bite?

- Why are you eating that?

- I've had the strangest craving
for rotten fish lately.

Hee hee hee hee!

- Billy, throw that away.

It's attracting all of these
biting horse flies.

- Negativo, mandy.

It's just too delicious.

Right, milkshakes?

- Ok, my hand has been forced.

Boo.

- Aaaaahhhhh!

- I love this zipper.

[Buzzing]

- Aaaaaahhhh!
- Aaaaaahhhh!

- Aaahhhhhh!

- Uh-oh.

[Kids screaming]

All right,
I guess I gotta find grim.

[Panting]

Augh, hey,
where's that zipper piece?

I'll have to come back for it.

I gotta find grim.

- Oh, mandy!

Where are you?

[Gasping]

Gosh, mandy, you look hungry.

You can have
this half-eaten candy bar

I've been saving.

Hee hee hee hee!

- I'll never
make fun of flies again.

Grim, grim, hey, grim, grim.

Urgh!

You've got to be kidding.

- Hey, caught one!

Now, that's some
snazzy flypaper.

- I'm not a fly, billy's dad.

It's me, mandy.

I need you to get grim.

- I get it.

You're one of those
talking flies

That try
to look like people.

- I guess we know
which side of the family

Billy got his brains from.

- All right, class,

I really hope
you studied for our test today.

I expect an "a" from you, mandy.

- [Buzz]

- Uh, mandy,
about this spitting thing.

Awesome!

Ach-phtoo!

I'm with you.

I ain't takin'
no stinkin' test!

[Slurp]

- No test, no test, no test!

- No test, no test.

- No test.

- Class.
Order, order.

- Ach-phtoo!

- No test.

- Children!!
Back to your seats.

Aaahhh!

[Screaming, crashing]

- Meoww.

- That's right, milkshakes.

Anarchy!!!

[Splash]

- Uh, grim.
Help.

- Filthy bugs.
They think they own the place!

- What's going on?

- I seem to have
zipped my head onto a fly.

- Hmmm, you do look
a little flushed, mandy.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ah, harold,
I'll take it from here.

- Thanks, grim,
old buddy, I owe you one.

- Can I get
a courtesy flush here?

The zipper broke,
and I lost the handle
in a dumpster at school.

- This is all just
a common wardrobe malfunction,

Mandy.

All we have to do is get
the pieces of the zipper back

And find your body.

Though, I must say,
this is a good look for you.

- Wow, mandy,
I knew you were different,

But now you're hard core.

Aaahhh!

- Hey, sperg, what's going on?

- Shut up, nerd.

I think she just named me
second in command.

[Kids chattering at once]

- [Buzz]

- I can't understand her.

- I'll be her official
interpretator.

- [Buzz]

- Ahem, she's trying to tell us
to get back to nature,

To not be afraid
to get all dirty and gross,

To get back to our roots

As grubby,
filthy little childrens.

- [Buzz]

- And chocolate ice cream
for all!

Let's go!

[Screaming]

- Hey, bring me back
a chocolate vanilla swirl.

- Great, the zipper handle
was in that dumpster.

Well, grim,
what are you waiting for?

Get in here and dig.

- No way.

I said I'd help,
not wallow in filth.

- Grimmmm!

- All right.

- Grim, use your scythe to clean
some of this trash away.

- I'm the grim reaper,
not a janitor.

I'm afraid we'll never
find that piece of zipper now.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

- You should try
the banana peels

Soaked in coffee grounds
and week-old hamburger, grim.

It's really not half bad.

- Ohh!

- [Burp]

- Quick, let's get out of here

Before I throw up
from having to watch you

Eat more trash.

[Banging]

- As you all know,
mindy is our class president.

- Yeah, but since she
doesn't talk much anymore,

We don't need her.

[Crash]

- See ya, mindy.

- This school
is under new leadership.

Behold our new class president!

Mandy!!

[Cheering]

If anyone objects
to this regime change,

Speak now
or forever hold thy tongue!

- Uh, mandy looks
kind of funny.

Especially... Aach!

I love mandy!

- We will now accept offerings
of money and/or candy!

- Not so fast.
What's going on here?

[Indistinct chatter]

- Perfect.

- I'm gone for a split second,

And you turn into
a bunch of degenerate savages.

You, straighten your uniform.

Drop and give me 20.

Billy, spit shine my shoes.

- You betcha, mandy!
Phtoo!

- As for you, mindy.

I like you
just the way you are.

- [Muffled screams]

- Here, bonehead, 20 bucks.

That's for keeping quiet

About me eating


- Hee hee hee hee!
Excellent.

I get 20 big ones,
and everything's back to normal.

- [Yapping]

- Take that, black bart.

Hee hee hee hee hee!

- [Yelping]

- Black bart?

- Aaahh!

Water up my nose!
Water up my nose!

- Ha ha, what a dweeb.

- Ta daaaa!

- Hey, that's my mask.

- Hee hee hee hee hee!

And now, watch me dive
into this itty bitty pool

From atop the big old tree.

- You better not, billy.
You might break your neck.

- Go for it, billy.

- I will now perform
a perfect swan divey.

- Go ahead, you little twerp.

Make my day!

Ah ha ha ha ha ha...

Huh?

Eh, heh heh,
probably nothing.

- Cannonball!!

Hee hee hee hee hee!

So, how did I look?

Hey, this is not
my beautiful pool.

It's all swampy
and creepy,

And some weirdo's
playing a banjo.

[Playing chords]

I think I'll just
go back the way I came.

Ta da! I'm back!

Hey, mandy, hey, grim,
nice dive, huh?

- Ribbit.

[Sniffing]

- I smell pie.

- Ain't had nary a nibble
the whole dang day.

It could be
I'm using inferior bait.

- Aaahhhh!

- Pie!!

- Grrrrrr.

- What's out there, tin can?

Phtooey.

I know you're out there,
varmint, and I'm gonna get ya!

- I'm not a varmint!
I mean, ribbit, ribbit.

- Hear that tin can?
Flush him out, boy.

[Dog howling]

- Eee, I'm out of here.

There's just gotta be
an opening here somewhere.

Pie!

[Reel whirring]

- Gotcha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Well, dog my cats.
What kind of a critter is this?

- Eegh, I'm billy.
Do you have pie?

- I'm granny applecheeks.

I make the best dang pie
in 5 counties.

Man, I've put everything
into a pie at one time

Or another.

Fruits, berries,
birds, fish, critters.

But I ain't never made
no billy pie afore.

Ha ha!

- Aaahhh!

Hey, don't we need
to fatten me up, first?

- Why, sure.
That's plumb good thinking.

How 'bout we start
with a nice piece of
rhubarb pie a la mode?

Or maybe you'd
prefer coconut cream.

- With pickles?

- Sure.
What the heck?

- Suh-weeet!

- That's only


- He definitely
should have come up by now.

- You think?

- I don't see him.

Uh-oh.

Now, there's something
you don't see every day.

A cosmic sinkhole
that can suck you up
and spit you out

Anywhere in the world.

Or any other world,
for that matter.

It must have opened up

When that sunbeam
reflected off me scythe.

Bad luck for billy.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- I mean, billy could be lost
for a long time,

Hopping from puddle to puddle,

Trying to find
his way back home.

And you never know where
it's gonna take you, neither.

He could be right next door
in the neighbor's toilet.

Or a koi pond in kyoto.

He's a gone gopher,
and that's the truth.

- He can't be a gone gopher.

He's my science fair project.
We'll just have to go after him.

- Maybe you're not
diggin' the strong vibe
I've been puttin' out there.

- Just jump in the pool.

- I'm tellin' you, mandy,

Wherever it goes,
it can't be good.

Heeee-yaaahaa!

- And don't
puncture the pool
on your way in.

- Right.

- Holy crud,
this pool must be magic.

Ah ha! Hey!

[Banjo playing]

- [Burp]

- Well, I'll be dogged.
Billy pie.

Nothin' to it.
And I got all the fixings.

- I like pie.
Hee hee hee hee!

- [Sniffing]

I smell something cookin'.

- Smells like pie.

- Yum.

- You sit right there
while I check on them pies.

- I like pie.

Pie! Pie! Pie! Pie! Pie! Pie!

[Gasping]

- Billy, are you in there?

- Pie! Pie! Pie! Pie! Pie! Pie!

I like pie, I like pie,
I like pie, I like pie,

P-p-p-p-p-pie!
Pie! Pie! Pie! Pie!

- That's billy, all right.

He's about to be baked in a pie
by an evil old witch.

Why don't we come back
in about an hour and a half?

Oww!

- Now, let's get billy
out of there.

- Grrrrrr.

- What in blue blazes?

Hey!

- Let's get out of here fast.

- I like pie!

- Ok, join hands and jump in.

I said join hands.

- I'll get you, you varmints!

You can't go now!

What in sam hill?
I caught his drawers.

- Mandy!!!

Ohhhh, wishes do come true.

- Grimmmm!

- Does this mean
you won't scrub my back?

Mandy?

- Get ready, freddy,
I think I see something.

Here it comes.
Here it comes.

- Hee hee hee hee!

- Freddy, look!

- Ta daaaa!

- We got a live one!

Get your net ready, freddy.
Don't let him get away.

- What?

- I said don't
let him get away.

- What did you say?

- Don't mess this up,
you nincompoop.

- How could you poop
at a time like this?

- I didn't say poop!

Now you've gone and made me
forget what I was saying.

- Lighten up, louie, we got him.

- What is it?

- [Squeak]

- It's a weiner dog.

- Score!
- Score!

- We'll make millions.

- I like pie.

- Oh, magic pool,
take me away to a land
where coolness reins.

Stupid magic pool.

I've got something
for your cosmic sinkhole.

[Farting]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Hey, that's not me.

Ah! Something's coming up.

- Grimmmm!

- Whoo-hoo!
We made it!

It got a little dicey there,
I don't mind saying, but...

- Where the heck is billy?

- Well, now, I told you
to hold hands before you jump,

But would you listen?

- It's a message in a bottle.

It's billy.
He's running with wieners.

- You mean irwin and pud'n?

- I mean weiner dogs.
Let's go to the races.

Follow that bottle.

[Clang]

[Indistinct chatter]

I think we're
going to need a plan.

- One million smackeroos
for the winner of this race.

But what weiner
will wassle away the title

From that dashing dachshund?

What do you make of it, dan?

- Ha ha ha ha!
You said wassle.

- Did not.

- Did so... Good gosh!

Your nose!
Ohhhh! I'm gonna puke!

- Well, I guess you never know

Till they cross
the finish line, folks.

- I love a good race.

- We're looking for billy.

- Hey, mandy.
Hi, grim.

- Billy?

[Crowd cheering]

[Bell ringing]

- And they're off!

Rooster takes the early lead

With mama's little man
on his shoulder.

And here comes
billy the wonder wiener

Making his move
around the outside.

- Run, you little wiener!

Make us rich!

- Go, billy, go!

- [Sniffing]

Pie!

- Well done, mandy.

Your plan
is working like a charm.

- What plan?
We never made a plan.

- And the flying pie
has taken the lead.

Here comes lightning.

Lightning takes the pie.

Billy is a length
behind the half-link.

And the pack of wieners
are right behind.

- Is that the right crater?

- They all look the same to me.

- Gotcha, you varmints.

Now I can make that billy pie
I've been hankering for.

And... - [Roar]

- There's my trunks.

Hey, grim, I brought pie.

- I knew you'd be back.

Gosh.

Aaaaahhhh!

Wieners.

- Aaaaahhh!

- Arf arf arf!

- I'll get you, you varmints!

- I just don't get
american cartoons.

They are so weird.

- Did you have an appointment?

- Ha ha ha.
Hey, guys.

Uh, ha ha, nice hot tub.

So, how's life
been treating you, man?

Whoops.
Ha ha.

Don't worry, man,
he'll be fine.

He's good for another 6 weeks.

I'll just be going now.

Sayonara.