03x02 - He's Not Dead, He's My Mascot/Hog Wild

[bunniefuu]

- [Laughing]

- Pull my finger.

[Fart]

- What's our name?

- The fluffy cats!

- Who are we scared of?

- No one!

- What are we gonna do?

- We're gonna win!

[Hissing]

- Don't ever hiss at me.

Besides, we don't win.
We never win.

- Aw, come on, mandy.

Where's your school spirit?

- Yeah! Be a fluffy cat!

- Uh, do you even
go to this school?

- Uh, no.

- What is wrong with you people?
Where is your school spirit?

- You're all
just a bunch of losers.

- Let me handle this, mindy, yo.

I've got the perfect cheer
that is sure to work.

- What does a geek like you
know about cheering?

- Watch and learn, sister.
Watch and learn!

♪ Bam, bam, bam ♪ boo, boo, boo

♪ Bah, bah,
bah everybody cheer now!

[Breathing heavily]

- [Cheering]

- They love me.

[Sniff]

I guess some girls have it
and some don't.

- That was... Disturbing.

- Hey, dweebs!

- Aah! It's the fluffy cat
fluffy cat!

- Oh, great.

Another stinking episode
about pets.

That's it.

I'm out of this cartoon.

Let me know how it goes.

[Door opens and closes]

- Duh!

Psst! Grim!

Mandy left.
What do I do now?

They're all watching.

- I'm not in this scene, billy.
Just keep going.

- Will do.

Hey!

It's the fluffy cat
fluffy... Cat.

- You already said that.
- Oh, yeah.

- Listen. I need you
to do me a favor.

The rump city bootyheads
are gonna try to
kidnap fluffy cat

Before the big game,

Like they do every year.

- Fluffy cat?

- So, I need you
to hold on to him until then.

- Fluffy cat!

- Ok.
- Fluffy cat!

- Uh, yeah. Whatever.

- You're so cute.

- [Belch]

- We're gonna be
the bestest friends forever.

- Hey, big boy,
do you like surprises?

- Oh, you know I do, woman.

- Well, then, here it is...

The treewhacker 2000.

This amazing new chainsaw
can be yours

For 16 easy payments
of $19.95.

Guaranteed to even slice gently
through the softest tomato.

So act now
while supplies last.

- Yeah. Hello?

I'd like to purchase
the treewhacker 2000.

Yeah, I'll hold.

[Whistling]

Aah!

- Hi, grim.

Hey! It looks like
you already met my fluffy cat.

- That thing clawed my face off.

- Ooh! That means he likes you.

- That thing is a menace.

Aah!

[Crash]

- Aw, you're not a menace.

You're the cutest,
most bestest cat ever!

- Who's in there?
I got to use the bathroom.

- [Belch]

- Billy, is that you?

You're not drinking
out of the toilet again,

Are you, son?

We talked about this before.

[Siren]

- Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

[Moan]

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

[Moan]

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

[Moan]

- Nice one, fluffy cat.

Ooh! Ooh! Let me try.

- Hey, billy, what's this
sticky stuff on the gro...

Ow!

[Cough]

- Good one, grim.

- Hi,
sweetie. How was your... [Gasp]

My house!

Oh, that is it, billy!

I am putting mr. Furry cat
in the basement!

- But... He... He's
my bestest friend!

- [Meow]

- There.

Now he's your best friend
that lives in the basement.

- But it's dark and scary
down there.

- Oh! Ha! Oh, billy!

I mean, what is the worst
that could happen?

Is fluffy cat gonna stumble

Into some sort of
strange magical box

And get turned into some kind of
giant deranged monster

Bent on destruction and chaos?

Now, that would just be silly.

- [Purring]

- You billy?

- Who wants to know?

- The rump city bootyheads,
that's who.

We've come to kidnap
fluffy cat!

- Duh!

I do not know this fluffy cat
of whom you speak of.

- Word on the street
is that you do!

- Nope! No way.

And if I did, I'd never tell you
in a million billion years.

So forget it, buttfaces!

He's in my basement.

- Bootyheads, to billy's house!

- Butt, butt, butt, butt,
butt, butt, butt, butt, butt!

- Hey, mindy.

[Grunting]

- Ok, that's just disgusting.

Billy, I'm gonna need
fluffy cat back

So I can get him ready
for the big game.

- Duh! Duh!

Never heard of him.

The rump city bootyheads
forced me to tell them

Where fluffy cat is,

And now they're on their way
to kidnap him!

- How are the fluffy cats
going to play without a mascot?

We'll lose,
and it's all your fault!

- [Sigh]

Well, it looks like
once again,

Billy has to save the day.

- So tell me again
about your dumb idea, billy.

- Well, since mandy
isn't here...

- Yeah. Where is she?

I haven't seen her all day.

- Ugh. They'll put
anything on tv.

- Um, mandy?

- What is it?

- It looks like they need you.

- Did I ask you?

- No. I'll be good.

- I need you to resurrect
an old fluffy cat

From one of these graves

That I can pass off
as the fluffy cat I lost.

Fluffy cat number one
should do it.

- That's the stupidest plan
I ever heard of.

- So you'll do it?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Give me some room.

- [Meow]

- Oh! She's perfect!

No one will be able
to tell the difference.

- Whatever.

- I love you, new fluffy cat.

Mmm.

- [Growling]

[Knock on door]

- I'll get it.

Hey, hey, hey!
You guys have funny faces.

Mmmph.

You must be billy's friends.
Come on in!

- Ohh!

This place kind of
gives me the creeps.

- Just find that stupid cat
so we can get back to the game.

- [Rowr]

- Uh, what was that?

- It sounds like it came
from this trunk.

Ooh! What's going on?

W-what did you do?

- [Roar]

- Fluffy cat?

- Look, mindy.
I found fluffy cat.

- Get that disgusting thing
out of my face.

- But it's fluffy cat.
Don't you recognize him?

- That is not fluffy cat.

- But... This cat
is better than fluffy cat.

He smells just as bad.

- [Belch]

- He belches like
the old fluffy cat

And has a removable head!

- Aah!

[Screaming]

- That was getting annoying.

- You'd think she'd never seen
a cat with a removable head.

- Let's go find our seats.

The game's about to begin.

- [Groans]

What?

- Meow.

- [Screaming]

- It's a great day for a game,
ladies and gents.

We've got a packed stadium
tonight,

Where fluffy cat
and bootyhead fans alike

Will watch to see
who emerges victorious

On the field of battle.

The starting lineup
for the rump city bootyheads!

[Drum roll]

Um, I said, uh,
the rump city bootyheads.

- Here I come!

Everybody cheer now!

[Crowd booing and jeering]

- Look, grim!
It's fluffy cat!

- A huge cat has wandered
onto the field.

- [Roaring]

[Hacking]

- Eww!

- It appears
the rump city bootyheads

Have taken the field.

- You stupid, oversized furball!

You ruined the game!

- [Cheering]

- [Roar]

- The crowd runs frantically
around the stands.

The cat is unstoppable!

Good thing I'm safe
up here in the booth.

Wait. No!

- [Cheering]

- Now he's got me,

And it looks like
he might eat me. Ha!

- Well, billy,

It appears your stupid cat
is destroying everything,

And there's nothing
we can do about it.

- Yeah. That seems to
happen to me a lot.

- [Hacking]

- Uh-oh.

It looks like
he choked on his own hairball.

- [Groans]

Fluffy cat!

- Well... I guess
that ends that.

- I wonder whatever
happened to mandy.

- I'm sure she'll turn up
eventually.

- [Hack]

[Belch]

- This is why I hate cats.

- [Rowr]

- Hi, mom.
Whatcha doing?

Slaving over a hot stove
all day,

Working your fingers
to the bone?

Heh heh heh!

- That's right, billy!

- Yeah! And what thanks
do you get, right?

I'll tell you. Nothing!

Heh heh heh!

Ooh!

Can I help you cook?

- No, no, no, no, no, billy.

That's... [Grunting]

Ha ha ha!

Against the rules.

Ha ha ha!

- Rules, rules, rules!

That's all I ever hear
around this joint.

I hate rules.

Hee hee hee!

Bye, mom!

[Laughing]

Hey, dad, whatcha doing?

Working 9:00 to 5:00,
trying to make ends meet,

But you can't,
so you got to use credit cards,

But those ran out of money, too?

And now you
got to sell your car?

- Uh...

Actually, I'm just sawing
this fine piece of lumber.

- Can I saw the legs
off the dining room chair

So everyone feels real short?

- No, billy.

You know the rules

About sawing the legs
off the dining room chairs

And making everyone
feel real short.

- Yeah, yeah. More rules!

[Muttering]

Grim!

- Hey, billy.
- Hey, mandy.

- What do you want?

- Can I destroy the universe
with your scythe?

- No, billy.

You know the rules
about my scythe.

- Rules, rules, rules!
That's it!

Here's what I think of
your stupid rules!

[Grunts]

I gots to go change my pants.

[Muttering]

A motorcycle!

- Yeah. We feel we've been
a little hard on you lately,

What with all the rules and all.

So... I bought myself
a motorcycle.

- ♪ Ahh - now when
the rules get me down,

I can just ride my hog.

Say... I bet you want to ride it.

- Yeah!

- Well, you can't.
You know the rules.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Well, I'll be right back.

- The rules!

Oh, I can't take it anymore!

Ooh! Upholstery!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Wow! Flips and switches! Ooh!

Ooh! Oh, yeah!
I wonder what this one does.

[Beep]

Oh, that's nice.

[Grunt]

[Honk honk]

Hi!

I'll name you "h*nky."

[Honk]

More knobs.

Ohh!

[Muttering]

[Sirens]

[Beeping and honking]

Heh heh heh!

[Honk honk]

Grim!

- So, mandy,
you think I should fix it?

- I say he should
face the music.

- But I hate music...
All kinds, especially soft rock!

- Well, if you like my helmet,

You're gonna love my new hog!

- Oh, quick!
Here he comes!

- But there's no telling
what supernatural effect

The scythe will have
on that thing.

I mean, anything can happen.

- And it probably will.

Might as well fix it, grim.

- Fine.

- It only cost us
billy's entire college fund.

- What did you say?

- I said, it only cost us
billy's entire college fund!

- Oh. Well, it must be nice.

- Oh, yeah, baby.

- Hi, dad. I followed the rules

And didn't touch
your new motorcycle.

- Of course you didn't, boy,

Because I'd probably
have gone berserk

With unimaginable blind fury.

Ha ha ha!

- Heh heh heh!
Ack!

- Say, where is the bike,
anyway?

- Yeah. The suspense is m*rder.

- m*rder?

- Yeah, it's k*lling me!
Ha ha!

- k*lling... Me?

- It's over there.

- Ha ha ha!

- [Laughter]

- All right.
Should you tell them,
or should i?

- Tell us what?

- Oh! Let's take it
for a ride, dear.

- I don't think
that's such a good idea.

- Why not, grim?

[Engine starts]

- That's why.

- Yeah? Well, nice going, grim.

You broke my parents!

- Why, you... [Garbled]

- Well, there's only one way
to save them.

- How you guys gonna do it?
Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?

- We're not.
You are.

- Huh!
- That's right, billy.

Your lie created
this haunted hog,

And now only the truth from you
will set them free.

It's as simple as that.

- Now get busy, geekwad.

- [Tires screech]

- No, no. After you.

- Oh, no, no, no.
After you.

- Ooh! Is he a cute baby?

- Oh, yeah,
he's a cute baby.

Ahh. They grow up so fast.

[Engines revving]

- Hey, grim, what's with
all the juvenile delinquents?

- Your parents
are turning everyone

Into custom culture creatures.

Ain't that right, daddy-o?

Mmm.

Ha ha ha!

Hey! You can't do that.

- Looks like they're doing
anything they want, grim,

And breaking all the rules
they can find.

If this keeps up,

There'll be no rules
left to break.

- No rules? Finally!

A race of sentient beings
who truly will understand me!

Wait for me, my brethren!

- Wait, billy!

- No rules! No rules!

Yeah, yeah, yeah! No rules!

- Why does the fate of humanity

Always end up
in the hands of an idiot?

- Forget it, grim.

The real question is,

How do we get billy
to tell the truth to his dad

And turn everyone back?

- Impossible.
You know how billy gets.

- [Billy muttering and laughing]

- You see? He's unstoppable.

- Hmm.

- Come on, guys!

[Laughing]
come on! Come on!

Ooh! I know! I know!

Here's a rule
we haven't broken yet.

No swimming al.

- Alligators?

Well, billy's gonna have to
learn the hard way.

- [Laughing and muttering]

- I'm gonna go grab
a quick bite.

You want anything, dear?

- Nah. I'm still full
from yesterday's
fun at the sea cruise.

- Ok, then. I'll be right back.

- Aah!

- [Growling]

- [Yelling]

- [Chewing]

[Gulps]

[Belch]

- Jerome!

- Dig these crazy rules,
daddy-o.

You two, off the bike.

Now.

- I think we'd better
do as she says, dear.

- You know what to do, grim.

- Right.

Mess with the bull
and you get the snout.

- Horn.
- Whatever.

[Inhales]

[Siren]

- I'll get it.

[Fart]

- Ohh! Jerome!

- You want me to do what?

- Cough up our idiot.

- What's in it for me,
sweet cheeks?

- Your teeth.

- Ooh. Heavy.

- So what's it gonna be?

- Let's do it.

But don't you look at me!

- [Grumble]

- [Clears throat]

[Retching]

- Aah! Mandy, help!

- You finished
breaking the rules?

- [Teeth chattering]

Uh-huh.

Because today, I learned that
rules are an important part

Of a healthy society.

Now get me out of here!

- First, the truth.

- Dad, the truth is,
I broke your motorcycle.

- Well, then!
No tv for one hour.

- Mom! Dad!

- Eww. Vomit.

- Say, where is my hog?

- [Honk honk]

- [Girl crying]

- No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, you.

- No, no, no, no, you.

- See you around, geekwad.

- I love you!

- And I love you.

- Mwah!

- [Inhales]

Dad!

- Yes, my glorious son?

- Are you gonna go berserk
with unimaginable blind fury?

- Nope. The important thing
is you told the truth.

Besides,
I'm sick of motorcycles.

I'm building model ships now.

- Wow? Can i...

- No, no, no.
You know the rules.

- Rules!

- [Muttering and laughing]

- [Honk honk]

- What are
you looking at, h*nky?

- [Honk]