01x16 - Something Stupid This Way Comes/A Grim Surprise/Beasts & Barbarians

[bunniefuu]

Hahahaha!

Shouldn't you be playing
outside or something?

I'm bored.

Hey!

[Laughing]

Stupid, rotten little...

[Laughing]

[Gasps]

[Groaning]

Why is the ground shaking?

That's called
shell shock,

And this is called
a coup de grace.

[Rumbling]

Well, there's something
you don't see every day.

P.a.: Come one, come all
to the carnival.

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Carnival?!

P.a.: Yes, the carnival.

And don't forget
to bring a friend.

That voice... Sounds
somehow familiar.

Hello!

Hello! It's you.

Nergal.

You are unpleasant
to be around.

Oh, come on.

What did I ever
do to you?

Heh heh heh.
[Gulps]

I mean, besides
the kidnappings
and the electrocutions?

Go back to
the center

Of the world,
you bum.

I'm just trying
to make friends.

All I ever wanted
is a friend.

Aw, cheer up,
nergal.

There's still
hope.

Right, guys?

Hope is wasted
on the hopeless.

See? Making friends
is easy,

And we'll show
you how.

You will?

Hee hee! Yeah!
Using the 5 "c" s
of friendship.

Both: the what?

People like you more
when you don't stink.

Yes!

Feel the friendship
flowing through you!

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Good!

Remember, if you
can't say anything nice,

Don't say
anything at all.

Nergal:
nice shot, bucko.

You're not
completely hideous.

You're tremendous... Ly
adorable.

You're...

You...

Some people
will stop hating you

If you compliment them
on their looks.

My goodness,
you cute little girl.

That mirror makes you
look perfectly hideous.

Aah!

[Crying]

[Cow moos]

Billy: it's fun to exchange
ideas and opinions

With congenial people.

Nergal: obviously,
I should have known

That when the boils
became infected,
I would be...

By this point,
the stench
was unmerciful.

It took 13...

The wounds were boiling
open with some sort
of viscous...

[Boy gags]

By tuesday, the whole
ear canal was infested
with caterpillars...

People like it
when you share.

Would you like to share?

Very well.

Here's your half.

{\An3}[crying]

Grim, how do you
do it?

You lack any hint of
charm or social grace,

And yet you have


You must tell me
your secret.

Hey, mon, I never
wanted any stupid
friends.

They forced me
to do it.

They forced you?

Yeah.

The little monsters.

It's true.

He is our friend sl*ve.

Of course!

All the good
things in life

Must be taken
by force.

Now I know what to do.

{\An3}what?

I must make people
be my friends!

[Evil laughter]

We'll have so much
friendly fun!

You're my friend!

And you're my friend!

Ooh! Ooh!

And you!

And you!

And you!

And you!

Friends, friends,
friends, friends,

Friends, friends
friends, friends,

Friends, friends, friends,

Friends, friends, friends,

Friends, friends, and you.

You will be my closest,

Most bestest
friend of all.

[Evil laughter]

Man on tv:
why didn't you
tell me about him?

Woman on tv:
I tried, I tried,

But you were
always working late
at the brewery.

I'm tired
of your excuses.
You're a lying jerk!

Where am i?

Wha... Who?
Wha... Who?

Aah! Aah!

Oh, it's you.

Oh! Whew!

Ahh!

What do you
want, billy?

Shh!

I'm on a top-secret
mission.

[Creaking]

Ok. I'm throwing mandy
a surprise party,

And she can't find out...
Hee hee!

Because it's
a secret surprise
birthday party...

Hee hee hee!

And you're gonna
help me throw it!

Oh, no, no, no,
no, no. I'm not.

Ooh, sure you are.

We're gonna
whoop it up real big.

Billy, there's
only one thing
I whoop up real big,

And it isn't
birthday parties.

Aw, why not?

We'll have balloons
and cake...

That's enough!

I hate parties.
What a stupid idea.

Wahhhh!

I can't believe
you won't party with me!

[Sobbing]

[Sniffles]

Oh, well,

I guess we'll do
something else together.

Yes, something else.

Mom said it was time
to clean my ears out.

[Gasp]

Ugh!

That could be fun, huh?

My ears are so backed up,
I can't see straight.

Forget it!
We'll throw
your stupid party.

Yay!

Come on, pal.

Ah!

Hee hee hee!
Ok, cooking buddy.
Let's bake a cake.

I do not know
the first thing about...

Wha... Whoo!

Ooh!

Ooh!

Ooh!

Ooh!

Ahh!

Ugh!

Hee hee hee!

Mandy: what are you


Well, dorks?

Grim, tell her
something!

Well, if you really
must know,

Billy and I
were planning something
very special for you.

[Gasp]

No, we're not!
We were just
playing a game.

See?
Pick up sticks.

Somehow,
I reall doubt it.

But then again,
I reall don't care.

Hey, it worked.
That was good, huh?
Hee hee hee!

Quick! Put yourself
back together.

Gee, thanks, billy.

Sure thing, pal.

[Giggling]

[Giggling]

Oof!

Ooh, look out!
Mandy's coming!

[Whistling]

Quick, hide under here!

Move, move, move!
Go, go, go!

Watch out! Here I come.

Ok. Now, shut up
for a minute.

[Footsteps]

[Whistling]

Hey, she didn't
notice a thing.

Didn't notice
what?

[Humming]

You know, grim,

You're
the best cake-making,
present-wrapping friend

I've ever had.

Do you really
mean that, billy?

I sure do.

You're my best friend,
grim.

And just then,
my small heart
grew 3 times its size.

[Footsteps]

Grim, she's coming!

[Both giggling]

Surprise!
Surprise!

[Both cheering]

♪ Happy birthday,
happy birthday ♪

♪ It's your happy day

♪ Happy birthday,
happy birthday ♪

♪ Let's celebrate today

What are you


It's your surprise
birthday party,

And it was all
billy's idea.

Oh, really?

Did billy happen
to tell you

That my birthday
isn't for another


Hey... Wha... Billy?

Hee hee hee!
That's what makes it
a real surprise!

[Laughing]

♪ Happy birthday,
happy birthday ♪

♪ It's
your happy day ♪

♪ Happy birthday,
happy birthday ♪

♪ Let's celebrate
today ♪

Not bad, grim.

It's... A real surprise,
let me tell you.

[Crying]

Hey, irwin, where'd you go?

I'm hiding
behind that rock.

What good is that?

Oh, no!

Your hammer.
Use your hammer.

No!

Stupid goatie head
monster.

Hey, losers,
who's in on a game
of old maid?

I need victims.

Billy: sorry, mandy.

We're busy playing
beasts and barbarians.

Yeah. We've been at it
for 3 days nonstop.

Hee hee! I can't
feel my butt.

Irwin: this way
to the ring of evil.

Quick, billy!
Power up your hammer.

Billy: no, irwin.
Use your magic.

You turned
into an owl?

[Sarcastically]
that's great.

I'm all
discombobulated,
and you're an owl.

Don't worry, billy.
I'll cast a spell
to bring you back.

[Roars]

Oh, man.

Electronic voice: losers!

Let's go,
you pathetic losers.

Game over.

But I can't stop
playing, mandy.

I need it!

That's right.
We're addicted.

Time for an intervention.

Grim, what would it take
to break these fiends

Of their video game habit?

A dose
of the real thing
might do the trick.

How would you kids
like to play
a much better game?

With super 3-d,
state-of-the-art,

Truer-than-life
monster graphics?

To die for.

Sweet!

Hey, i...
I don't know,
billy.

Settled.
Make it happen, grim.

Observe.

Hey, guys?

I don't think
this is such
a good idea. Guys?

Time to choose
your weapons, boys.

Ooh! w*r hammer,
w*r hammer!

To the forbidden castle!

Ahem, I'm more
of a spell-caster
kind of guy.

Whoa! Hey, billy,
wait up!

Spell-caster, I say.

And what do I get?

Uhh! A stupid book.

Uhh! And could they
make it any bigger?

No, wait!
I was just kidding.

I am a golden god!

Hyah!

[Hisses]

The only thing
a big book is good for

Is squashing a big bug.

Heh heh heh!

Huh?

Ooh, ooh!
Way to go, irwin!

That's 10,000 points,
easy.

Well, this
isn't working.

Not even
the grim reaper

Can break
their addiction.

Don't you worry
about that.

I'll break them.

Talk is cheap.

You'll see. I still
have a few tricks
up my sleeve.

Ooh! Let's
beat it, irwin.

This place
is giving me
the creeps.

I need a hug.

Heh heh heh!

They're funny.

The grim reaper!

Why are you
in the control room?

Punch out, piggy.
Your shift is over.

P-p-punch out?

[Squealing]

Let's rock.

Hey, billy,
do you hear
something?

Waahh!

Aah!

I'm money, baby.

Cha-ching!

Billy!

Irwin, did you see me?

I bet that's worth
a gazillion points.

Get me out of here,
billy!

I better get
mandy and grim.

They'll know
what to do.

Hurry, billy!

Hey, grim!
Hey, mandy!

Where are you?

[Sarcastically]
hey, grim!
Hey, mandy!

Where are you?

Ha ha ha!

There you are,
mandy.

How about
a little surprise?

I wonder
what happened to grim.

Billy: hey, mandy!

Mandy?

Hee hee hee!

Are you here
for the ring?

What ring?

He who wears the ring
will have the power

To summon vast
and horrible armies
of the undead,

Who will obey
his every command.

It's very horrible.

Oh, yeah.
I could use
one of those.

Do you have
such a ring?

Of course I do.
I am the keeper.

But first you must
answer my riddle:

What is black and blue
and red all over?

That would be you
if I don't get
that ring, pronto.

Mandy! Grim!

Here I am, billy.

It's just
you and me now.

But maybe
I can fix that.

Hello. What's this?

Now we'll just
kick back and watch
the fireworks.

Hello, handsome.

Huh?

[Ding]

Mandy!

I've been looking
all over for you.

But where's grim?

Grim: run
for your lives!

Aarrggh!

We're cornered!

What are we
going to do?

We're all doomed!

Why don't you just
make another portal

To take us all
back home?

That's a great idea!

Everybody, stand back.

Quickly! Aah!

Hey, mandy,
you want to come over
for a game of old maid?

No, thanks, billy.
I'm busy right now.

Hey, sithro
is holding again.

Go fish, baby.

[All laughing]

Is something
bothering you, grim?

I just can't shake
the feeling

That I'm forgetting
something.

Is anybody up there?

I'm getting hungry.