02x16 - That's My Mummy/Toys Will Be Toys

[bunniefuu]

- Ha ha ha ha!

- Curiouser and curiouser.

- And, irwin,
check this one out!

- There's still
asparagus on it.

- This is the best game ever!

- The dishwashing game!

- I especially love the way
the water wrinkles up my skin!

- Me, too!

- You're lucky your mom lets you
do whatever you want!

- My m-m-mom?

Y-y-yeah.

- Wait a second!
You know what?

I don't think
I ever seen your mom.

- S-sure, you have.
- Nope, don't think so.

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

I'll bet you keep her
cryogenically frozen
in the refrigerator!

Hello, mrs. Irwin?
You in here?

- Cut that out, billy!

- Why, irwin?

You trying to hide
something?

- N-no! Of course not!
Don't be ridiculous.

She's a beautiful woman
who's completely normal,

And there's nothing
at all wrong with her.

She's just really busy
and works all day and night.

I think it's time
for you to go, billy.

- Go? When i... [Grunting]

You're right.
I gots to go... Bad!

Where's the bathroom?
Where's the bathroom?

[Grunting]

Ah! Got it.

I thought I'd never
get that open.
Back to business.

♪ Doo doo doo doo doo,
doo doo doo doo doo ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh,
doo doo doo doo doo ♪

Just one thing left to do.

All done.

[Mummy growling]

- Huh? Aaah! Mummy!

[Screaming]

Irwin!

I saw something horrible
in the bathroom!

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Then I saw a mummy!

- A mummy?
- Yeah!

It was wrapped in bandages,
with scary eyes,

And it... Oh, it smelled!

- Billy! That's enough
out of you, boy.

It's about time
you got to leaving.

- Really? But why?

- Let's just say
I have terrible gas,

And you wouldn't want
to be around for it.

And you've unleashed the curse
of the mummy upon yourself.

- D-what?

- No time to explain.
Just go!

- Quick thinking, dad.

That was a great excuse
to get billy out of the house.

He almost suspected something.

[Dad passes gas]

- Mandy!

I... I saw a mummy!

Mandy!

- Do you hear something?

[Sighs]
- go let him in, grim.

- Mandy!

I... I... I think
irwin's mommy is a mummy!

- Get out of my house.

- I saw her
with my own eyes!

- Listen, billy, just because
two words sound alike

Doesn't mean they're
the same thing.

Remember that time
you thought you were rubbing
your hair with shampoo,

And it was actually
stinky wet dog?

- I remember that!

Everyone stayed away from me
for a whole month.

This time it's different!
It was a mummy!

And irwin's dad said
I was cursed forever!

- Billy, it's not
that I don't believe you,

It's just...
I don't believe you.

- I don't want
to be cursed forever!

- Here, billy.
This might cheer you up...

A nice, big stinky bag
of dog... Ahem.

I mean, shampoo,
fresh from the front yard.

- ♪ Washin' my hair,
just washin' my hair ♪

[Whistling a tune]

[Humming]

[Gargling, gulping]

Huh? Eeeh! What?

Phooey!
Aaah! Aaah! Aaah!

Get 'em off me!
Get 'em off me!

- Mandy, did you just see...
- Nope.

- It's the curse!
It's the curse of the mummy!

Help!

- Cursed, eh?

The only people cursed
round here are us,

For having to be exposed
to billy's butt-nakedism.

- Ok, there's
irwin's dad coming out,

Leaving for work as usual.

Nothing strange there.

[Engine starting]

Darn! There's still
no durn proof that
irwin's mom is a mummy!

[Second engine starting]

Ooh, yeah!

I got you now, irwin's mom.

I knew it!
She is a mummy!

Big bug goes squash now.

[Insects buzzing]

It's the curse of the mummy!

- Sure you want
to keep playing, grim?

- Heck, yeah!
Double or nothing!

- All right.

- Get away from me! Aaah!
- Grim, you've got to see this.

- Oh, look at billy,
running around butt-naked.
How embarrassing!

Ok, mandy, ante up.

I'm determined
to win my things back.

[Whispering]
- irwin! Irwin!

- Meow!

[Car alarm blaring]

[Dogs barking]

[Car horn honking]

- Billy, is that you?
What are you doing here?

- Irwin, I have to know
about the curse of the mummy

Before it's too late!

- I have no idea
what you're talking about.

May I suggest you go home
and get back in bed?

[Gasping]

- I was right!
Irwin's mom is a mummy!

The curse does exist!

[Rattlesnakes rattling]

Oh, not again.

Aaah!

The curse of the mummy
strikes again!

The curse, I tell you!

- What is all
that racket outside?

- Aaah! Aaah! Aaah! Aaah!

- All right, already.
This has got to stop.

Time to look into this
so-called mummy's curse.

[Doorbell rings]

- I'll get it.

- Tv repairman, mon.

- Tv repairman, mon?
But our television is
working fine.

- Well, uh, yeah,
but the thing is, uh...

- Excuse me.

Looks to me like it's
in pretty bad shape.

- Huh. It was fine
a minute ago.

Wow. Good thing you guys
came when you did.

Go ahead and do your thang.

- Is the coast clear?
- Yep.

Now, billy, show us where
you first encountered the mummy.

- Right this way.

I... I don't understand.

This is where I first saw
irwin's mummy,

But there's no sign
of her anywhere.

- Could it be you imagined
the whole thing?

- Billy, you said irwin's mom
had a banged-up car.

Isn't it possible that she was
in a car accident

And had to wear
a full body cast?

- Duh!

But what about the bugs
and snakes that attacked me?

- Billy, I found this
in your shower.

- My shampoo!
Gimme, gimme,
gimme, gimme, gimme!

- Billy, you do know
that this isn't really
shampoo, it's dog...

- Steak sauce.
- Dog steak sauce?

No wonder it tasted so good!

So that's what probably
attracted all those bugs
and snakes to me.

It all makes sense now.

Stupid me, thinking
irwin's mom was a mummy!

Oh, yeah!
Boy, do I feel silly!

[Toilet flushing]

Ooh! I get it!

This is, like,
the "theme basement!"

[Mummy moaning]

I get it!
You guys were right
all along!

[Mummy roaring]

And irwin's mom isn't
really a mummy.

She's just hideously ugly
because she's so old
and has bad skin!

See?

[Grim and mandy screaming]

- Billy!
Get off of irwin's mom!

- Irwin's mom?
- Yes, mandy.

Irwin's mom is
actually a mummy.

Nobody can tell you
who to fall in love with,

But we've managed
to make it work all these years,

Leaving a whole lot of questions
that don't need to be answered.

- Eh, works for me.

- Ditto.
- Me, too.

- Yeah, but how did you
and irwin's mom...

- Leaving a whole lot
of questions that don't
need to be answered.

Pass the scarab beetles, dear.
Thanks, honey pie.

[Snap]

[Both laughing]

- So, mr. Irwin's dad, there was
no mummy's curse, right?

- Oh, no, billy,
the curse is real.

We've all got it.
You just learn to live with it.

- Mandy, could you please pass
the steak sauce?

- Uh, sure, billy.
Fresh from the front lawn.

- Mmm mmm mmm!

You guys gots to try this
on your scarab beetles!

It's deliciosious,
and it makes great shampoo!

[Maniacal laughter]

- Dr. Gaylord and his good-guy
dinobonoids are finished.

Jurassic creeps rule!

- Oh... Hey, g*ng!
It's billy! We're saved!

- Dah dah dah-dah!

Billy nobonoid!

- Come on, team!

We're not beaten yet,
because we are...

- The dinobonoids!

- Hey, triceratron!
It's time you were extinct!

Full-on friendship!

- Yee-ha! We beat
the jurassic creeps!

- Thanks, billy.
We couldn't have done it
without you.

- Really?
- You bet.

From the first time
I saw you, I thought...

- Feeble-minded dork.
Boys don't play with dolls.

- You did?
- No, no, no, no, no.

What I meant to say was...

- Billy, you're
a pathetic nincompoop.

- I am pretty awesome!

- Aren't you a little old
to be playing with dolls?

- You mean, action figures?

- No. I mean dolls.

Billy, what do you think
people will say

When they see you
making exploding noises and
throwing your dolls around?

- Kaboom! They'll say
I'm a hero.

- They're all going
to laugh at you.

- Mandy, nobody would dare laugh
at the dinobonoids.

- Ah, ha ha ha ha!

- Aw, that's just sperg.
He laughs at everything I do.

- Billy, the world is
laughing at you.

[Muffled laughter]

- "Full-on friendship!"

Ha ha ha ha!

- Mom? Daddy?

- Oh, we're sorry, billy.

We weren't laughing at you,

We were laughing
with you.

- I was laughing at him.

- My own parents? Jeez.

Maybe it is time to let you go.

- Wow! This is going
to be fun!

- Oh, why, grim?
Why do the good die young?

- Well, usually because
I get confused.

Well, anyhoo, are we ready
to chop their little heads off?

- No! I have to sez
my good-byes.

[Sobbing]
good-bye, brave
professor gaylord.

- Oh, I'm missing my shows!

[Wailing]

- Ah! Ok, ok.

Billy, I've got one
final mission for you.

- You do?

- And now, for
the finishing touches!

[Thunderclap]

- Hey! I'm alive!

- Me, too!

- Hey, we're all alive!

- Pretty cool, huh?

- You brought
the dinobonoids to life!

- Yep, but it's only
temporary.

The magic will run out
in a few hours and you will
return to normal size,

So don't get squished.

- All right, g*ng, huddle up.

Tex and I will run recon
into the forest.

Triceratron,
you and the jurassic creeps
try and build a camp.

- Wait!

Why do the jurassic creeps
have to do all the hard work?

I think we should go on recon.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah!

- All right, you two,
break it up!

- And who are you?

- I am the new leader
of the dinobonoids.

- New leader?

I don't know how
you're going to be leader

Because I'm not going anywhere.

[Squirrel roaring]

- Aaah!

[Squirrel belches]

- Well, that settles it.
I'm the new leader.

Triceratron, you take
your jurassic creeps and go out
in the grass somewhere,

And we will hunt you down
and destroy you.

Now, beat it!

- Come on, creeps.

- Ha ha!
I like the way
you wage w*r, billy.

- Aaah!

- Oh! Shiny cupcake!

- Oh, no, tex! Run!

- Well, what's this?

Ok, we're in.

Ooh, a kitty!

- sh**t it!

- Meow?

[Groans]

- Oh, good kitty!

- Hello, friends.
You'll never guess what I found.

[Zip]

- Hey, lazlow!
How you doing?

- Help me!
I think he's teething!

[Billy and tex screaming]

- You'll love my tea party.

And here is your chair.

Now, sit tight.

- Billy, I can't move!
- Me, either!

- Ok, who wants cookies?

- Cookies!

Yummy!
[Belches]

- And welcome back
to "da voodoo digest, mon." Huh!

- Milkshakes,
where are you going?

- To destroy all that is good.
Uh, I mean, yeah.

- Hmm. Something's fishy.

- Yeah, something's fishy.

- No, somethin' ain't right.
I remember!

You're supposed to be outside
until you understand
the difference

Between my slippers
and your cat box!

- Retreat!

- Hey! You're those
jurassic creeps.

- We are fleeing
from the one named billy.
Do you know him?

- Know him?
I'm his best friend.

- On purpose?
- Heck, no!

I'm the grim reaper.

I don't make friends,
I take friends!

My life stinks.

- Well, hey, I never wanted
to be an evil villain.

[All gasp]

I do it because I feel
like I'm expected to.

- Awww!

- Hey, mon, it's ok.

You just got to live your dreams
and do what you want to do.

- You're right, sticks.

And I always wanted to be
a go-go dancer!

You know, shake my booty
for the ladies.

- Do it, man!
- Yeah!

- Yeah! Just do it
in the next hour or so!

- Why's that?

- Because after that,
you're just toys again,

And I have to chop
your heads off.

- No... Cookie! Help!

Snack time's over!

- Nice move, billy.
Now it's my turn.

Full-on friendship!
Let's move!

[Roaring]

- Fascinating.
So with your scythe,

You control the powers
of the supernatural?

- Yep.
- Hmm.

That makes me have to, uh,
to go to the bathroom.

Jurassic creeps, let's
all go to the bathroom.

- But I don't have to go.
- You will when you get there.

If you'll excuse us, grim?

- They'd better not go
in my slippers.

- Why do we have to use
the bathroom?

- We don't.

We just had to get away
from that bag of bones.

- Why?

- Because we need
to get that scythe.

With that scythe,
I would rule the universe,

And there would be nothing
the dinobonoids or billy
could do to stop me.

[Maniacal laughter]

- Ha ha ha!
What am I laughing at?

Ha ha ha ha!

- I hope mandy can hear
our knocks.

- Why don't we just sh**t
the doorbell?

- Good idea!

[Doorbell rings]

Mandy was sure to hear that!

- So, billy left his dolls
on my doorstep.

I guess he couldn't bear
to destroy them himself.

- Destroy?
- It's nothing.

- Well, a girl's work
is never done.

- Quick, mandy!
We need grim!

- Weird-looking
little dolls.

- Hey! Are you the little girl
that's going to help us?

- Yep.

- Ha ha ha ha!

That showed him up!

- Tex!

- Just one more.

- Mandy! No!

[Grim snoring]

- Surprise, grim.

- You baked me a cake?

- We just wanted
to say thank you for
hanging out with us.

- Really?
- Fire!

- Hey! Me eyes!
I can't see!

- Grab the scythe!

- Make me huge!
I want to destroy things!

Ha ha ha ha!

- Well, that didn't work.

- We need instructions!
- Hmm.

Teach us how to use the scythe,
or we'll blast you!

- I thought
you didn't want to be evil.

- That was before
you showed me this baby.

- Mandy! What are you doing?
It's me! Billy!

- I know, but when will
I get a chance like this again?

- Full-on friendship,
you wicked harpy!

- Professor gaylord!

Stop fooling around, lazlow!

- Ha ha!
You can't hurt me!
I've disarmed you!

- Eeh!
[Panting]

- Good work, billy!

- I'm sorry I ever thought
of getting rid of you.

- It's all right, billy.
You're growing up.

- Well, I might not be able
to play with you anymore,

But I can still keep you
in your box and look at you.

Well, most of you.

- Oh, thank you, billy.

- Shut up, lazlow!

- Well, the magic ran out
at that instant,
as magic often does,

And I gave the jurassic creeps
the burial they deserved.

Couldn't find professor gaylord.

- You're a pretty girl.

- And as for billy, well,
no one ever saw him again.

But we didn't look that hard.

- Hello? Hello!

[Billy whistling a tune]

♪ I love washin' my hair
'cause my shampoo tastes
so good! ♪

Ha ha ha!

Mmm mmm mmm mmm!

♪ Just a-washin' my hair,
just a-washin' my hair ♪

♪ Hmm, hmm, yeah!
[Whistling]

[Gasps]
wait a sec!

[Sniffing]

This isn't shampoo!
It's dog...