01x38 - Fall Apart Land

[bunniefuu]

♪ Once upon a time in Toontown ♪

♪ There was a cat that had it all ♪

♪ Fortune and fame, top of the game ♪

♪ Up until he hit the wall ♪

♪ Now he makes a livin' downtown ♪

♪ Walkin' on a brand new beat ♪

♪ Slippin' through the new day
Trippin' on a two-way ♪

♪ Ticket down a one-way street
Beep beep beep ♪

♪ Who's that cat ♪

[siren]

♪ Crackin' up crime? ♪

♪ Stoppin' the clock ♪

[clock ticking]

♪ Hope he gets here on time ♪

[old car horn]

-♪ Let's go-- ♪
-♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Yeah! Totally nuts ♪

-♪ Bonkers ♪
-♪ No ifs, ands or but buts ♪

-♪ Bonkers ♪
-♪ Someone's stealin' the show ♪

♪ Can't stay, I gotta go, go! Oh, no! ♪

-♪ Bonkers ♪
-♪ Things gettin' outta control ♪

♪ Now you're caught in a trap
Ready to snap ♪

♪ Snappin' the cap
And you're takin' the rap ♪

♪ But ya can't hold back
That wacky attack ♪

♪ That's why you're still a star ♪

-♪ 'Cause you're-- ♪
-♪ Bonkers ♪

-♪ Bonkers ♪
-♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Wherever you-- wherever you--
Wherever you-- ♪

♪ Wherever you are ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

Oh, please.

[panting]

Um... Bonkers.

You called, Luckamio?

Could it be time to take a break

from this painful, mind-numbing labor?

Huh? Is it, or what?

You've only been on duty for 15 minutes.

It's not me I'm worried about, Luckster.

You've been working for two days
and nights without a break.

You must be pooped.

High-h*, fellows!

Fall-Apart Rabbit!

What are you doin' here
in the middle of the night?

This is the time I always
come around so Lucky and I--

We don't have time for
chitchat now, Fall-Apart.

Get these out to my car, Bonkers, asap.

[groans] You got it, Lucky.

Aren't we gonna look at the book, Lucky?

[sigh] I can't waste my time mooning
over dreams that'll never come true.

I have to face the fact that I'm a cop,
and I won't ever be anything else.

So, tell you what.
You take the book and enjoy it, pal.

I have to get on with real life.

Gosh. Uh, thanks, Lucky!

-Psst!
-Yaah!

Sorry, Fall-Apart.

But you've just got to tell me
what's buggin' Lucky.

I don't know, Bonkers.
I think it's sort of a... secret.

Lucky and I like to look at the pictures
of all the famous theme parks.

This was one of our favorites.

[Fall-Apart] Charlie World,

the hippo-est place on earth.

Oh, yeah. Warthog world-- oink oink oink--

that magic park where
anyone can feel beautiful.

Lucky and I dreamed
of creating his own theme park,

but I guess that's over now.

I guess he's kind of given
up on that, huh.

No, I think he's just tired.
But whatever's botherin' Lucky,

he wouldn't want anything to stop
you from makin' your dreams come true.

You think so?

Absolutely. Lucky would
want you to go for it.

Then-- then-- then what am I waiting for?

Thanks, Bonkers! Boy, you're a pal!

[sigh] If only Lucky were
as easy to figure out.

[typewriter struggling]

[typewriter] Ooh! Aah! No! No!
Just let me go!

You have to do something, Bonkers.

I don't know how much longer
he can keep up this pace.

[yawn]

Daddy has to take a rest
so the rest of us can.

Don't worry about a thing, ladies.

The old bonkmeister's got
everything under control.

[giggle] I had a little talk
with my toon compatriots.

Lucky's about to call it a night. Hoo hoo!

[typewriter] Ouch!

Oops. Wrong key.

Not only was that the wrong key, it's the
last key you're gonna punch for a while.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about toon abuse.

I'm pooped, exhausted, wiped out.
I need a break.

He's got a point, ya know.

Which is more than I can say for us.

Yeah, you've worn us
right out to the knobs.

He's got a point, there.

No, he doesn't have a point.
That was his point.

"Was" my point is right.
It's numb as a post.

I thought that was dumb as a post.

-Don't get personal.
-Do posts have points?

No. Neither does this conversation!

Alright! We'll take a little break.
Just pipe down for crying out loud.

-Now you're talkin', Lucky.
-Hey, Bonkers, what's the big idea?

Relax, Lucky, I'm gonna show you
how to spend some quality break time.

I can hardly wait.

Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?

And I can let you have it for a mere--

how much did you say you have?

Well, I have my entire life savings.

Perfect! It would be a bargain
at twice the price!

Just sign on the dotted line.

Can I have my hand back?

Gosh, I don't know. Deal is a deal.

I was hoping to keep it for good luck.

I can't sign anything without it.

Then take it back and sign, sign, sign!

Can't afford to leave any loopholes
in this transaction, can we?

-Okay, now it's official.
-Terrific!

So long, suck-- uh, I mean Mr. Rabbit.

I just want to say thank you.
It's... been a dream come true?

[chuckles] Oh, you did it again, boss!

[laughing] That's right.

Now the city inspector condemns the place,
I buy it back for a song

and sell it to some other dim bulb!

[Bonkers] You're gonna love this, Lucky.

It's so much fun and oh, so relaxing.

I don't think this is such
a good idea, Bonkers!

Don't worry, Lucky!
We won't do it with real water

till we know for sure
whether you like it or not!

How thoughtful.

And away we go!

[screaming]

Oh! Whoa!

No, no, no, aah!

You'll love this next idea, Lucky.
I promise.

What in the world makes you think that?

On account of because you won't have
to move one itsy-bitsy, teeny-tiny smidge.

I have to admit that sounds promising.

Ta-da! Here we are.
Fishing is very relaxificating.

Bonkers, I... I hate
to disappoint you, pal,

but I'm not gonna catch
anything in a pail.

You will in this one. It's a toon pail.

Hi. Ha ha, uh-oh.

It must be something I ate.

See? He's full of surprises.

Oh, brother.

[Lucky] Let me go! Not... not my spine!

Wow! You are really gettin' into
the spirit of the thing now, Lucky.

[Lucky] Uh-uh, Bonkers.
Ixnay, negativo, not on your life.

Don't worry, Lucky.
I'll go first and show you how easy it is.

Now remember, no yelling anything
politically incorrecto.

Oh, okay. How's this?

I don't wanna go!

Perfect!

[both] I don't wanna go!

[chuckles] I'm not gonna go.

So what's the matter, Pickle, cold feet?

What? Oh, uh, well, no.
No, no, not exactly.

No problem. Open it up, Charlie.

No, no, no. Stop, stop.
Don't, don't. Wait, wait.

No, no. No, no, no!

[screaming]

[Bonkers] I'm really sorry, Lucky.

I kinda forgot
that Toon parachutes only open on impact.

Forget it, Bonkers.

It's fortunate I landed in that field
of haystacks, though.

Yeah. Too bad you didn't
land on one, though.

Ouchie, huh?

Where are you taking me now?

I have to get back to work.

Someplace that's gonna
make you feel really good.

Just as long as they have lots of ice.

[Seymour] What do you mean,
the inspector's already been here?

That's right.

Then why isn't the place closed down?

Closed down? [mutters]

He loved the place.

My Toon buddies and I not only got
a commendation for cleaning up the place

but we got a cash reward, too.

Commendation?

Cash?

I think this place is really
gonna be a success.

I'm gonna success you,
you toon-brained little--

[limo] Shh! shh! chill out, boss.

Op-cays.

Bonkers! Lucky!

Fall-Apart! You did it!
The place looks fantasmical!

I don't believe it.

Fall-Apart, this is great!
Your own theme park!

Yeah. C'mon, Lucky.
I have a lot to show ya.

You know, you inspired me.

Oh, but Lucky, what about all
of the work you have to do?

Work, schmerk. Let it wait.

Yes!

Nobody out-deals Seymour Sleazebottom!

Seymour?

But, boss, what can you do?

Whatever I do, it won't be pretty.

[evil laughter]

You're gonna love this ride, Lucky.
It was one of your ideas, remember?

Yeah. I remember, alright.
Let 'er rip, F.A.

Waa-ha ha ha!

I'm going to turn this place
into a disaster.

Pull, you wheel jockey!

So much for commendations and cash!

[laughing]

[sigh] Thanks, Fall-Apart.

[Lucky] Aah!

[laughing]

[Bonkers] You've made Lucky so happy.

[Lucky] Ow! Ow! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Aah! Aah!

Whoa! No, no, no! No, no! Aah!

[Fall-Apart panting] He stopped!

Of course he stopped.
Lucky wouldn't let us down.

Whew.

No, no, no, no, wait.
Let's talk this over!

[both] Oopsie.

Run us down, okay, but let us down, never.

[evil laughter]

Huh?

Boss. Boss! Boss!

We have got a problem!

What is this? I thought
you Toons had a sense of--

[limo]
Hurry! Hurry! Move it! Scram! Run away!

[crash]

[Seymour] Sure am glad
I put on my seat belt.

Oh... oh...

Lucky! Are you alright? Speak to me!

I feel like I'm wearing
my stomach as a party hat.

Gosh, I haven't seen
that color green since

I accidentally ate my bug collection.

Are you okay, boss?

[Seymour] Just get me out of here!

If you don't mind my saying so, boss,
you look like the pits.

It was worth it. When people recover
from seeing that ride go haywire,

they'll run for their lives.

That bunny will beg me
to take this dump off his paws.

I'd guess again if I were you, boss.

Huh?

[man 1] We wanna ride!

[man 2] Yeah! Yeah! Me next!

[man 3] Over here! Me! Me!

Wow! This ride is a mondo hit!

Lucky, you are amazing!

Just you being here with me made this park
more popular than... than ever.

Oh, take it easy, Fall-Apart.
It was just a fluke.

Fluke nothing. You were made for this.
You've got that theme park magic, Lucky.

And I want you for my partner.

Partner?

Yeah.

Oh, gosh, Fall-Apart. I--

I don't know...

Wait! Before you make up your mind,
give the place a once-over, okay?

Uh, Fall-Apart, excuse me.

I think you've relaxed Lucky enough.

He has to get back to work!

Okay? Fall-Apart! Are you listening?

[groaning]

This is the greased pole ride.

[screaming]

[spitting]

Nobody's made it yet.

Shew. It's a tough business.

[brakes screeching]

Ow! Ow! Ooh!

Hey, hey! Step right up,
ladies and gentlemen, do not miss out!

Here's your opportunity to experience
the mayhem of L.A. Freeways

without a backseat driver in sight!

Speaking of marriages, I know a lady
who's been married so many times

she has rice marks on her face!

Badabing! Whoo! Rimshot!
I hate political jokes, don't you?

They always get elected.

Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup.

Hey, that's okay, the cook used
to be a tailor.

I got a million of 'em.
Batta bing! Hello, nurse!

What's that toon light doing here?
Shouldn't he be in the squad car?

It's his night off.
Lots of toons help me out.

That's the only way
I can get the place built.

-[crashing]
-Ooh. This looks like a dangerous ride.

Not a bit. Safest ride in town.

[cars crashing]

So how about it, Lucky?
Be my partner, please!

Please, please, pretty please with sugar!

You really think it's such a good idea?

[Seymour] I think it's a wonderful idea.

It's obvious from the way
you handled that roller coaster

that you were born
to run an amusement park.

Uh... I was?

See. What did I tell you, Lucky?

Boss, what are you doing?
I thought you wanted this place back.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em,
then stab 'em in the back.

[laughing]

But Lucky, you've already got a job.

You're a cop.

Yeah but...

I never thought I'd get a chance
to see my dream come true.

My own theme park.

[Fall-Apart] Yeah.

And the first thing you have
to do is expand this one.

Why do they have to expand?
This place is doin' great.

Uh, thanks, Bonkers, but,
uh, we'll handle this.

Why do we have to expand?

Yeah. This place ain't broke. Why fix it?

But it's much too picayune
to contain your vast genius.

Well, he's got a point.

Yes. He's very perceptive.

Me thinks I have lost him.

That cynical, hard-boiled cop
I know and love

is astray in fantasyland!

Where are those penniless,
befuddled babes in the business world

gonna get the money to expand?

All they have to do is sign
this harmless-looking

and absolutely non-binding contract,
and I, their new and very silent partner,

will provide the cash they need.

Lemme see that paper.

Excuse us. [chuckles]

Bonkers, why don't you head
on back to headquarters

and fill out my retirement papers?

I'll be in to sign them later.

But, Luckamio--

My mind's made up, Bonkers.

This is something I've always wanted.

You knew that when you brought me here.

Yeah, but I was just trying
to get you to relax.

I'm your partner.
We look out for each other.

Well, then look out for me now
and let me have my dream.

Okay, Lucky.

But not until I make sure
your dream's not a nightmare.

This is only the beginning.

Soon you'll have theme
parks all over the world!

Gasp!

They can't sign this! It's--

What do you say we sign this little
formality so we can get started?

Absolutely.

You know, this is a pretty
spiffy car for a Toon.

Yes. It has some wonderful features.

Not the least of which
is a soundproof trunk.

Don't sign it, Lucky!

And there. Finished.

Wonderful!

Now I'll just run downtown
and have this registered

so you can get on with your dreams.

Yes. Dreams is right. [laughing]

I'll tell you, Fall-Apart,
I'm sure glad you read that contract,

or I might be a little suspicious.

I didn't read it, Lucky.
I thought you did.

Now, why would anyone who loves
theme parks want to cheat us?

I'm through being a cynical cop.

-I'm sure everything's okay.
-Okay, if you feel it's okay,

then I feel it's okay.
Everything's fine. This is good.

Yes... terrific.

Help! Help! Let me out!

I better think of a way to get out
of here before I exhaust myself.

Exhaust myself! Why not?

Those doodlers have signed the park
over to me lock, stock, and toon.

Once we register this at City Hall,
we'll have everything we want.

Ouch. I shouldn't have had
that extra hot fudge sundae for dessert.

Lucky, help!

-What? Bonkers?
-He's in trouble, Lucky!

What else is new?

We better get to the bottom of this.
Come on, Fall-Apart.

What's that Toon doing in your tailpipe?

Spilling the beans. That's why I locked
him up in the first place.

There's nothing they can do
if we beat 'em to City Hall.

Step on it!

[limo] Right, boss.

What I need is a little leverage.

Got it!

Move it, move it!

Yeow!

There they are, Lucky!

Got 'em now!

All right, Bonkers, now what's going on?

If those guys get to City Hall before you,
with that papers you signed

they'll own Fall-Apart Land!

Do you know what fat chance means?

They're headed towards the mud pit.

[Seymour and limo laughing]

See, Lucky? Toon cars don't sink.

Now you tell me.

What are we gonna do?

Hey, you guys gonna squoosh
around there all night

or are we gonna get on with the show?

Hey, you guys, ever get
a price on your head,

you take it! Ha!

You're so disgusting,
the FBI put you on their unwanted list.

Come on, rib shot.

I believe in human rights. Don't you?

You guys are human, right? Ha ha!

Am I something? Hello, nurse!

You're something, alright.

They're back!

But not for long!

They just went down a one-way street.

The wrong way!

No sweat. Get 'em, Mario!

No, no, no, no!

Aah! Aah!

[horn blaring]

-Oh, no, no! Watch it!
-[horn blaring]

[screaming]

How did we do that?

You don't want to know.

Oh, no! Look! They beat us!

[evil laughter]

Well done, Limo.

Thanks, boss.

Not so fast, Sleaze.

You and your little buddies
are too late, Pickle.

-You mean-- you mean--
-Yes. Your little dream's gone askew!

Gosh, I'm sorry, fellas.
I knew what this meant to you.

There must be something we can do.
What can you do, you silly man?

It's all legal and official.

Fall-Apart land belongs to us.

What? Oh, uh, what is this?

You Seymour Sleazebottom?

[together] Seymour?

Yes, I am.

Owner of Fall-Apart land?

Absolutely.

You're under arrest for operating
a theme park without a mouse.

[Seymour] No fair! Mommy!

I guess law and order do win out.

Yeah, and a cop's not too bad a thing
to be when you can nail a guy like Sleaze.

But what about you, Fall-Apart?
What'll you do, pal?

I still have my award
for cleaning up that dump.

We can start another theme park.

-What about--
-Trust me.

No, no. We have to have
the greased pole here.

But that's too close to the hot dog stand.

It'll make them taste all funny.

Uh, Lucky, hadn't we better
get started on these reports?

Relax, Bonkers.
Remember what the chief said?

We got all the time in the world.

[theme music playing]