01x25 - A Wooly Bully

[bunniefuu]

♪ Once upon a time in Toontown ♪

♪ There was a cat that had it all ♪

♪ Fortune and fame, top of the game ♪

♪ Up until he hit the wall ♪

♪ Now he makes a livin' downtown ♪

♪ Walkin' on a brand new beat ♪

♪ Slippin' through the new day
Trippin' on a two-way ♪

♪ Ticket down a one-way street
Beep beep beep ♪

♪ Who's that cat ♪

[siren]

♪ Crackin' up crime? ♪

♪ Stoppin' the clock ♪

[clock ticking]

♪ Hope he gets here on time ♪

[old car horn]

-♪ Let's go-- ♪
-♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Yeah! Totally nuts ♪

-♪ Bonkers ♪
-♪ No ifs, ands or but buts ♪

-♪ Bonkers ♪
-♪ Someone's stealin' the show ♪

♪ Can't stay, I gotta go, go! Oh, no! ♪

-♪ Bonkers ♪
-♪ Things gettin' outta control ♪

♪ Now you're caught in a trap
Ready to snap ♪

♪ Snappin' the cap
And you're takin' the rap ♪

♪ But ya can't hold back
That wacky attack ♪

♪ That's why you're still a star ♪

-♪ 'Cause you're-- ♪
-♪ Bonkers ♪

-♪ Bonkers ♪
-♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Wherever you-- wherever you--
Wherever you-- ♪

♪ Wherever you are ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

Drat, the vault is closed.

How inconvenient.

Looks like I'll have to
open a self-serve window.

[laughing]

[swoosh]

[male voice]
Crime time is over, lawbreaker.

Oh, no! It can't be! Not you!

I thought you were extinct.

Think again, Miscreant.

It takes more than an ice age to stop...

Mammoth!

Here, try a gust of Super Mammoth breath.

Stop! Or I'll blast you
with my laser tusks.

[Mammoth] Come back, you-- ow, ah!

Cut! Cut!

Get... off... me.

That was not in the script.

The trash can was in the wrong place.

Relax. We'll do the scene again.
Here, have a peanut.

Those aren't my brand.

Anything else you're not happy with?

As a matter of fact,

Mammoth Mammoth Isn't
happy with this script.

You are not Mammoth Mammoth, remember?
Mammoth Mammoth is a fictional character.

Careful or I'll teach you a lesson
with my superpowers.

You have no superpowers!

They're just special effects.

See, I push this button and you fly.
I push this button

and you have superbreath.

[machine whirring]

Yeow! Yaaa! Yiiii!

I push this button
and your laser tusks fire.

Oohh!

You've pushed Mammoth Mammoth
too far this time. I quit!

No, you're fired!

I've had enough of
your delusional dramatics.

Pfft! delusional dramatics, ooh!

I meant to do that.

No, no, and no.

But, Lucky, I've got one word
for you, efficiency.

I've got one word for you, forget it!

But I bought this book,
How to be Efficient in 800 Easy Lessons.

I don't need any
supermarket self-help book.

Over the years that I've been a cop,

I've developed proven, reliable systems.
Take my in-box--

-[alarm bells ring]
-Hey, who took my inbox?

I organized your desk
so it's more efficient.

Where's the phone?

Hmm, I know I put it
someplace organized. [giggles]

Oh, swell. And what else did you do-- aah!

I lubricated your chair.

I'm gonna make this office run smoothly.

Ah, how thoughtful of you.

[ringing] Yoo-hoo, officers?

There's a burglary in progress.

Great! Now, let's see,

what's the most efficient way
to catch a burglar?

I know. What say we go... after him?

There, you see? You're thinking
more efficient already.

Sounds like we're at the right--

-[crash]
-Hey, what was that?

Oh, no.

[yodeling]

A yodeling toon burglar.

[yodeling]

I'll follow the gorilla. You get
up to the roof and cut him off.

Ooh, that sounds very efficient.

-[motor whirring]
-A crime in progress?

This is a job for Mammoth Mammoth!

And I might add, sir, you're looking
quite Mammoth today.

Why, thank you. Here. Have some peanuts.

Stop, you overgrown yodeler!

[yodeling]

Ya-ha! The jig is up. Your goose
is cooked. You're trapped like a--

Help has arrived!

Who are you? And why d'you flatten
my partner?

Don't you recognize me?

No. And if you don't mind,
we're apprehending a criminal.

But fighting crime is my life.

I am...

Mammoth Mammoth!

Why me? Why is it always me?

Ohh! It's Mammoth Mammoth!

Love your show. I'm your biggest fan.

I always liked your
laser-sh**ting tusks the best.

Whoo-whoo! Whoo whoo whoo!

Sorry, pal. Police work's
a job for professionals.

But I am a professional.

Watch as I use my
SuperMammoth strength to...

[yodeling]

Whoa!

Some superpowers, hmm?

Mammoth, you're Lucky we don't run you
in for impersonating a crime stopper.

Superpowers.

Well, if I can't use my SuperMammoth
powers to fight crime,

maybe I can use them to commit crime!

[echoing] Commit crime, commit crime...

[chief clears throat] Now, as you can
see, the burglar has smashed down doors

in his recent crime wave.

Interesting word "wave."
You can wave your hand.

Some people have wavy hair. Some people,
uh, waver when they walk.

Then of course there are sound waves.

-What are you doing?
-Making a to-do list.

It's an efficient way
of organizing priorities.

Your first priority should be
listening to the chief.

I was at a football game once
where we did the wave.

Uh, chief, uh, excuse me.
But what about the crime wave?

Good one, Pickle.
You could have a crime wave.

Chief, we do have a crime wave.

Someone has stolen expl*sives,
peanut butter cookies,

and a truckload of extra gentle
detergent for washing woolens.

Then let's get out there
and nab that ne'er-do-well.

[chuckles] Good plan, chief.

We'll get right on it.

Oh, what a shame. This store is closed.

I'll just melt this lock with my
SuperMammoth laser tusks.

[groans]

It seems to be stuck.
Come on out of there.

-[crashes]
-Oh!

Naturally, I meant to do that.

[chews]

[whispering] Psst! in here!
Somebody's breaking in.

[whispering] Psst! Hey, help, police!
We're-- we're-- we're...

we're being robbed! Quick! Help!

Burgurlary in progress! Burgurlary in pr--

Hey, you're supposed to be a silent alarm.

Sorry. Guess I got overexcited.

Well, looks like we've finally got a lead
on the chief's crime wave.

[clocks ticking]

Check around the back and be careful.

The crook could still be inside.

Got it boss, I'll look high.

I'll look low, I'll look at eye-level.

These fools can't match wits with...

[quietly] Mammoth Mammoth.

[sniffing]

[ding]

[toot]

I guess nobody could fit in here.

Wrong again.

Bonkers, did you say something?

[tweets]

Hey!

Lucky, the crime-waving burglar was here.

Oh that's just great. We don't know
who he is or what he was after!

-[tires squeal]
-[engine revs]

Ooh, but that was
a frightfully close one, sir.

[giggles] Yes, but now I've proven
that even the police

can't stop the master plan of...

Mammoth Mammoth!

Oh, Lucky.

Notice anything different
about our office?

Not now, Bonkers, I've borrowed this file
on the crime wave from the chief.

[laughing] Perhaps you've seen
my office products commercials.

I thought maybe I could find a clue
as to who is behind all the burglaries,

guess what-- what is this?

I'm the deluxe desk jockey toon organizer.

I'm guaranteed to reduce clutter.

Give it a file, Lucky. Go ahead. Go ahead.

Alright, but just organize it a little.

Hmm.

Very efficient, huh?

That's not bad.

[buzz]

What was that?

[belches]

Um, did I mention
the built-in paper shredder?

Paper... shredder?
That was the chief's crime file!

Now, get this. I do not want
to be efficient. I like being slow.

[whispering] Psst, the chief.

-Here's my to-do list.
-Lucky?

-Number one, waste time.
-Lucky?

Number two, get disorganized.

-Lucky, Lucky?
-Number three--

Number three-- [chuckles]

Stop kidding around in front of the chief
that we're nuts about.

[laughs] Just plain nuts.

Phooey! A sense of humor
is always welcome.

Odd word "sense."

An animal picks up scents.
There's dollars and cents.

Here, let me take your hat.

Some people have a sixth sense.

Can I get you anything?
Tea, finger sandwiches, your crime file?

[chief] Others have no sense of direction,
and some are just full of nonsense.

How right you are, chief. Makes sense.

To me, it makes none. Bye-bye.

Which, uh, brings up a good point.

-Why did I stop by?
-Great point, indeed.

And when we get the answer,
you'll be first to know. Bye.

-[chief] Oh, thank you.
-Good going, Mr. Efficiency.

Your machine almost got us fired.

Hey, you. Whoa! Whoa!
What... what are you doing?

[Bonkers] Lucky, relax.

Calm down. Get centered.
We're this close to cracking the case.

Cracking the case.

Hey, that's it. That's the clue!

Hey, what are you-- give me that!

It is? I mean, of course it is.
Except, hey, what is... it?

Ah, let go!

We've gotta look at the photographs
in the chief's... file.

No problem. Got any tape?

[Lucky] Right there. Do you see?

-[Bonkers Yes! Maybe. Do I see what?
-[Lucky] Nuts!

-What's wrong?
-No, peanuts.

Peanut shells were at the
scene of every crime.

Ooh...

What we need is a lead on peanuts.

Say no more! I know the foremost expert
on nuts in Hollywood.

And there are plenty of nuts in Hollywood.

Nutty buddy and I go way back.

[repetitive machine sounds]

Hello.

♪ Hello ♪

Bonkers, booby, baby! Ha ha!

Buddy!

-You're a nut.
-No, you're the nut.

[Nut] No. I'm the nut, ha ha.

[clears throat]

Bonkers.

Oh, sorry.

Gee, fella, we need
your professional opinion.

Can you shell out some info
about these peanut shells?

Hmm.

[sniffing]

Aha!

Yes. Just as I suspected.

Dry roasted.

Yeah. Well, what can you
tell us about them?

In a word, they're peanut shells.

We know that. What else can you tell us?

Oh, well, they're not your
common ballpark variety, no.

Somebody unusual ate these nuts.

[chuckles] Thanks to my
SuperMammoth powers,

I will easily be able
to steal that big peanut.

All I have to do is fly down and nab it.

[screams]

[yelling]

Ooh! Uhh! Oh! I meant to do that.

[creaking]

Well done, sir. You got the nut.

Naturally. I'm... Mammoth Mammo--!

Aah!

Well, you see, the only customers who buy
that special blend of peanuts

are dumbo, babar, Mammoth Mammoth--

[both] Mammoth Mammoth?

[crashing]

Hey, didn't you ever hear of doors?

Didn't you ever hear of...
Mammoth Mammoth!

Oh, boy.

Mammoth Mammoth?

You mean,
you're just an ordinary criminal?

No. I'm a supercriminal.

Now, stand back,
or I'll use my SuperMammoth powers!

Hey, wait a minute.
He doesn't have any superpowers.

A-ha! Thanks to my
SuperMammoth X-ray vision,

I can tell you're behind those crates.

Ahem. Wrong.

Uh, uh... of--of course.

I just said that to...
to lure you out into the open.

That's right. Prepare for a blast
from my SuperMammoth trunk!

[inhales]

Pffft!

[Lucky] Now, what's he doing?

Care for some peanuts? Bon appetit!

I'm really starting
to dislike that Mammoth.

[machine turns on]

You're just-- you're making
a mistake, Mammoth.

Correction-- the mistake is yours
for insulting me.

We didn't mean to insult you.

Kid you? Yes. Humiliate? Uh, maybe.

-Irk? Quite possibly, But Insult?
-Too late.

Now I'm off to make that degenerate
director pay for demeaning...

[Lucky and Bonkers]
Yeah. Yeah. We know. Mammoth Mammoth!

Pfft! Amateurs.

Well, at least we know where he's going.

Unfortunately, we also
know where we're going.

Bonkers, bubbe, baby,

Isn't there something you can
do with this rope?

Now, there is an efficient idea.
How 'bout this?

Or this? Ya-hoo!

I think he meant something
more like saving us

from being ground to chunky bits!

Well, why didn't you just say so? Aah!

-[Lucky] Whoa!
-[Nut] Oh, no!

[machine buzzing]

Bonkers! Quick, buddy.
Turn off the machine!

[machine turns off]

Bonkers. Where's Bonkers?

Where are you, little pal?

I found him! Guess this is what you'd call

a jarring experience. Bada-boom, hey!

Yum. Mmm! This is a better butter, buddy.

Try saying that five times fast.

Allow me to explain your predicament.

This nut is a b*mb powerful enough
to blow up the whole studio.

In fact, I'll show you
how your fate was sealed by me...

Mammoth Mammoth!

First, I filled the nut b*mb
with gunpowder.

Then I wired the b*mb to a clock featuring
a likeness of me.

[snoring] Hey, hey, hey! Wake up.

Huh? Oh? Uh, sorry,
but exposition is always so boring.

Well, perhaps you'll find this exciting.

The b*mb is set to go off
in just a matter of minutes.

[Mammoth giggles]

Oh, dear. As a loyal servant
to Mammoth Mammoth,

I suppose I really should do something.

Then again, I was
only working for peanuts.

The Mammoth must be inside the
movie studio. Let's go get him.

Wait! I'm making a list of the
most efficient ways to proceed.

Well! Why don't you just call ahead
to let them know we're coming?

Ooh! Good one! I didn't
even have it on my list.

Uhh!

[small motor whirrs]

Let's see. We don't have a script,

but I think this is where you say,
"you won't get away with this."

[Lucky] Wrong. That's my line.

He always gets the good lines.

[laughs] No mere police officers can
overcome my SuperMammoth powers.

Uh, look, um... mammy,

I hate to break it to you,
but you don't have superpowers.

Of course I do.

Watch as I demonstrate my SuperMammoth
strength to hurl this tree!

Whoa! Whoa!

[crash]

I was just warming up.

Now, watch as I demonstrate
my SuperMammoth flying skills.

Up, up... and away--

-Whoops!
-[screeching]

[train whistle blows]

Up, up, and-- oof!

Up, up, and... away!

Ouch. I suppose this means

-I don't have any superpowers?
-Sorry!

-No super X-ray vision?
-Nope.

No superlaser tusks?

All special effects.

I tried to tell him.

Oh, fuddle. Oh, fuddle. Oh, fuddle.

Let's see, according
to my efficient checklist,

the first efficient thing we do is,

to analyze the problem in an
efficient manner efficiently.

I'll analyze the problem for you.
That b*mb is about to explode.

A-- a b*mb?

I agree with your analysis.

Let's see. My efficiency book says
give yourself a deadline and stick to it.

I'd say the deadline
is in about ten seconds.

-[humming]
-[clock ticking]

Aha! Here we go. "diffusing a peanut b*mb
in under ten seconds."

Ta-da.

[Mammoth] Don't celebrate yet,
meddlers. Nope.

Over here. My superMammoth powers
may only be special effects,

but they are still super.

Prepare to eat laser bolts.

-[laser charging]
-[zaps]

Whoa! Oh!

You're not the only one
with special effects.

Ha! It takes more than air to stop me!

Oh yeah? Well, I've still got this book.

Bonkers, this is hardly the time
to be concerned about efficiency.

Oh, I don't know.

Yikes! Stop! Stop! Stop that!

Stop! That's not fair!

-[screaming]
-[crashing]

It may not be fair,
but It is pretty efficient.

[theme music playing]