01x07 - Pop Goes the Easel

[bunniefuu]

-[opening music playing]
-[birds chirping]

Know why I decided to make you
the model for my painting, Dinah?

-[meows]
-Because you're such a model pet.

That means you're exactly
what a pet should be.

Now, see if you can sit perfectly still.

Dinah... you moved.

[meows]

Now, be a good kitty and stay put.

[sighs]

Dinah.

How do you expect me to paint you
if you keep moving?

Now, stay, please.

I give up.

Boy, being an artist is hard work.
I already need a vacation.

[shimmering]

[theme music playing]

♪ Hold on to your seat
Let's go for a ride ♪

♪ Now that we're here on the other side ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ It's a curious place
With a wonderful crew ♪

♪ And you're never quite sure
What they will do ♪

♪ Use your imagination
You'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

-Hairbrush.
-Hairbrush.

-Styling comb.
-Styling comb.

-Bobby pin.
-Bobby pin.

-Fly swatter.
-Fly sw--

-Fly swatter? Oh.
-For the fly.

[fly buzzing]

-Hair spray.
-Hair spray.

-Perfume.
-Perfume.

-Powder.
-Powder.

[coughs]

[laughing] Well, Rabbit, how do I look?

Wha-- Oh...

Why, Your Majesty,
you look pretty as a picture.

You took the words right out of my mouth.

♪ I'm so pretty, pretty, pretty
It's my duty as a queen ♪

♪ To be pretty as a picture
To keep my royal sheen ♪

♪ I've got to keep myself
Always looking sweet ♪

♪ Keep my appearance nice and neat ♪

♪ From my royal hairdo to my royal feet ♪

♪ Wonderland would be let down
If I would let a curl go flat ♪

♪ Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty
That is where it's at ♪

♪ I've got to keep my royal self
Always looking sweet ♪

♪ Keep my appearance nice and neat ♪

♪ From my royal hairdo to my royal feet ♪

-♪ I'm as pretty as a picture ♪
-[crashing]

♪ It makes me feel so swell ♪

♪ To be pretty as a picture ♪

♪ And the queen as well ♪

[laughs] Rabbit, today of all days,
I must look pretty as a picture.

After all, it isn't every day
there's a picture to compare me to.

And may I say, Your Majesty,

no queen has ever had
such a pretty picture painted.

[laughs] Well, thank you, Rabbit.

Of course, no artist has ever had
such a face to paint.

No indeed, Your Majesty.

It's quite, um, one of a kind.

So where's my royal portrait now?

Oh, out in the courtyard, Your Highness.

Where your subjects have gathered
to see it.

But nobody's supposed to see it before me.

Oh... [clears throat]

[chuckles]

It's covered, Your Majesty.

So you will be the first one
in the kingdom to lay eyes on it.

[laughs] Oh, goody. Now, what's on
the schedule for today?

First, your royal entrance

-with trumpet fanfare.
-Of course.

Followed by a brief,

-but, uh, meaningful speech.
-Not too brief.

Naturally.

And then...

-Et voilà!
-Ooh!

The unveiling of your royal portrait.

Oh, this is so exciting.

Now, remember, Your Highness,
to listen for the royal trumpets.

When you hear them,
make your grand entrance.

Ooh! [laughs]

[both laugh]

[wheels screeching]

-[megaphone feeds back]
-[all groan]

[laughs nervously]

Attention, everyone.

Her Most Royal Majesty
will be arriving in minutes.

Pardon me, will you be serving snacks?

Food will be served after the unveiling.

As I was saying, the Queen of Hearts
will be coming down--

Excuse me. As long as we're here
for the unveiling of the Queen's portrait,

would you mind telling us
who it's a picture of?

Hatter, since it's the Queen's portrait,
who do you think it's a picture of?

Goodness, he doesn't know either.

Uh, are you sure you don't have
any tasty treats?

I told you, not now.

Now, as I was saying...
Oh, what was I saying?

Oh, yes, the Queen will be arriving--

Oh! The time has come.
[chuckles, clears throat]

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you
Her Most Royal Majesty...

-[fanfare playing]
-our most sovereign Queen of Hearts.

Hmm. Maybe this cloth is covering up
something good to eat.

[purring]

Oh, dear.

What's that dreadful cat doing
with the easel?

Shoo. Shoo, cat.

Get away from there. Don't touch that,
there's no food under there.

No, no, don't-- Ooh, that tickles...

Oh, no, don't put your...

[Cheshire Cat] Take it easy. I'm leaving.

This party is no fun anyway,
I'm out of here.

[Rabbit] Thank goodness.

Good riddance to you.

Now I'll just put the portrait
back on the easel, right?

[Alice] No, no, look out, look out.

-[Rabbit] No, it's-- Oh!
-[wheels screeching]

[ripping]

[all gasp]

Mr. Rabbit, are you all right?

[all gasp]

-Mr. Rabbit, you've been framed.
-Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.

When the Queen sees I've ruined
her beautiful portrait...

she'll have my head.

It seems she already does.

-[Red Queen singing]
-[all gasp]

Your Highness. Didn't you hear?
The Rabbit changed the schedule.

-He said something about the light.
-What about the light?

You need just the right light
for a portrait to look its very best.

And this light isn't nearly good enough
for a picture of one as beautiful as you.

Oh. Oh, why, thank you, Mr. Hare. [laughs]
How long do I have to wait?

Well, gee, it's hard to say.
Can we stall you for an hour?

-What?
-I mean, it'll be just about an hour.

[laughs]

Very well, then, just have the Rabbit
come get me when the light is right.

Here, Rabbit.

Dee and I will hold the portrait,
and on the count of three, pull.

One, two, three.

[Rabbit groans]

Oh. Look what I've done.

-Maybe Dee and I can fix it.
-We've painted a few pictures in our time.

Just show us where the numbers are.

It's not a paint by the numbers.

Oh, well, then, it might take us
a little longer.

Yeah, but first, we have to put in
our own numbers.

Oh, dear, this is awful.
This is just terrible.

I don't think the Queen
has ever looked forward to anything

as much as she looked forward to seeing
her royal por... [blows nose] ...trait.

Well, let's see how it looks
now that we've taped it back together.

[Dee] Not bad.

Yeah, I think the only problem
is the right eye.

Look again, brother.
It's the left eye that's a little off.

Wait! Are you two absolutely sure
you know what you're doing?

Sure! All this portrait needs
is a little touch-up.

By somebody with the right touch.

♪ That red is really red ♪

♪ And that blue is even bluer ♪

♪ And that head looks like a royal head ♪

♪ With a little repair, here and there ♪

♪ It's quite a portrait, all in all ♪

♪ But it still needs that special touch ♪

♪ Not too little and not too much ♪

[Dum]
♪ A dab here and a stroke of the brush ♪

♪ For the right touch ♪

♪ From good to great ♪

♪ With the right touch ♪

♪ We correct the mistakes ♪

♪ We got the right touch
For the right touch-up ♪

♪ We are experts ♪

♪ We are pros ♪

♪ We're the ones to call
If you wanna know about the right touch ♪

♪ A little bit of tape ♪

♪ Yeah, the right touch ♪

♪ A little nip and tuck ♪

♪ We got the right touch
For the right touch-up ♪

♪ Right touch ♪

[gasps]

Oh, no. What have you done
to the Queen's eyes?

Well, since it's the Queen,
it should be one of those pictures

where the eyes follow you everywhere.

Oh, dear, I don't think
she's going to like this at all.

But thank you for trying.

Oh, there must be someone else
in Wonderland who's handy with paints.

Handy...

It's an eyesore.

I know, it's awful,
but can you make it better?

With two hands tied behind my back.

Portraits are a specialty of mine.

Well, then, please, be my guest.

Let's see. For the Queen's portrait,
I'll need a red,

and red and more red.

Oh, in the meantime, would you open
that book to page 32, please?

I'll read you a story.

Oh...

Oh, are you sure you can read and paint
at the same time?

As a matter of fact, I'll work
much faster if I tell you a story.

Page 32, please.

This is a story about a bull named Elliot.

[crowd cheering]

Everyone thought he was the meanest bull
of them all.

But, truthfully, there wasn't a mean bone
in Elliot's body.

So he gave up fighting
and bought a china shop.

The store was so successful
that Elliot had to hire an assistant.

Unfortunately, Elliot's assistant
was a little clumsy.

[screams]

The little mouse was afraid
to tell his boss the truth,

so he attempted to cover his tracks

by putting the broken dishes
back together again.

[panting]

And Elliot, not knowing any better,

turned around and sold the damaged china.

Alas, Elliot's china shop
went out of business,

because the people thought the bull
had deliberately sold broken china.

And to this day,
people still think it's a bad idea

to let a bull in a china shop.

So Elliot decided to open a pillow store
and enjoy the soft life.

So, then, you're saying
that I shouldn't fix the Queen's portrait.

Fortunately. you don't have to,

because I just did it for you.

[gasps]

That doesn't look anything like the Queen.

That looks just like-- Like-- Like you.

Mm. You really think so?

Yes. And I thought you said portraits
were your specialty.

They are. Self-portraits.

Don't worry, Mr. Rabbit.
I think I fixed the eyes already.

Oh. So you have.

And after I finish the nose,

I don't think the Queen
will notice a thing.

But, uh, are you sure you can remember
what the Queen's nose looks like?

No. But this should help.

Oh. "Know Your Noses."

Why, it's a book of noses,
as I live and... breathe.

By the time I finish looking through this,
I'll really have a nose for noses.

♪ I've got a nose for noses
Let's look and see what they can be ♪

♪ You can't smell the roses
Without one, naturally ♪

♪ Noses are so funny
Fits in a space right on your face ♪

♪ Wiggle it like a bunny
Back and forth all over the place ♪

♪ There are short ones, long ones
Small ones, wide ones ♪

♪ Big ones, little ones, fat ones too ♪

♪ Flat ones, sharp ones, skinny ones
Mini ones, I'll find a nose for you ♪

♪ Give me time to find it
Look, here's one that's lots of fun ♪

♪ You think the Queen will mind it
If we give her more than one? ♪

♪ There are short ones, long ones
Small ones, wide ones ♪

♪ Big ones, little ones, fat ones too ♪

♪ Flat ones, sharp ones, skinny ones
Mini ones, I'll find a nose for you ♪

♪ Who knows how to look for noses?
It's hard to find, there's every kind ♪

♪ But I've got a nose for noses
Let me show you what's on my mind ♪

♪ I've got a nose for noses
But a good nose is hard to find ♪

Now... this one looks about the closest
to the Queen's, wouldn't you say?

Well, actually, whenever she looks down
her nose at me-- Oh...

I'd say it looks more like that.

Well, if you say so. Here goes.

What do you think?

Well, uh, I think, that is--
I don't think...

Well, actually-- What do you think?

-I think you've still got a problem.
-I'm afraid I agree.

Oh. But, uh, thanks anyway... Alice.

Is this tea cold, or is it me?

[shivers] It's you. Oh!

Mm. Thank you.

[Rabbit] Oh!

Oh! Thank goodness, you're all here.

I've been unable to fix
the Queen's portrait,

and I'm running out of time. And artists.

Oh, well, then, you've come
to the right tea party.

They don't call me the Mad Painter
for nothing. [laughs]

I thought they called him the Mad Hatter.

Only the ones who've seen his painting.

[humming]

Well, here goes nothing.

There. I'm finished.

[gasps]

[Rabbit] By my fur and whiskers.

Hatter, it looks exactly like the Queen.

I thought that was the idea.

No, no, no, don't touch.

At least not until we put
the protective coating on it.

[crashing]

Put it in there...

-Ready?
-Yeah, go on.

[speaking indistinctly]

There. That ought to protect it.

How long does it take that stuff to dry?

Well, until it's no longer wet...

Okay.

Gee. That's funny.

It's a little stuck.

What's funny about it?

[all grunting]

[crashing]

What just happened?

Well...

We were having tea and you came by
and said that you

wanted us to help you with a few things.

-You were having a bad day--
-I mean, the portrait!

Oh, no, it's ruined beyond repair.

To the attic.

[clanking and crashing]

[Mad Hatter] Aha!

Just what we're looking for!

You found a portrait of the Queen?

No. But I did find this.

-She's beautiful.
-[Mad Hatter] Mm.

[Rabbit] But what's that she's holding?

-[Mad Hatter] Salt.
-Salt?

She's the lady who does TV commercials
for Wonderland salt.

You know the slogan,
"When it rains, go salt something."

Do you expect me to replace
the Queen's portrait with that?

What's wrong with it?
They didn't color outside the lines.

Oh, no. This will never do.

Aah! I've run out of time.

This will have to do,

I've got to have a painting to take
to the Queen's unveiling.

Is this the right light
to see my portrait?

Oh, yes, Your Majesty.
It's as good as it's going to get.

Oh, goody. Then let's dispense
with the opening ceremony,

because I can't wait to see
the look on my face.

Oh. [laughs nervously]

Neither can I.

Ladies and gentlemen,

it's with great pride that I unveil
the Queen's por... trait.

Et voilà!

[all gasp]

[gasps]

Magnificent.

Magnificent?

-Extraordinary.
-Extraordinary?

-A masterpiece.
-A masterpiece?

-Wait just a minute.
-Wait just a-- Wha--?

[Red Queen] Why am I holding salt?

[gasps]

A bold stroke on the part of the artist.

Don't you think, Your Majesty?

-It's sheer genius.
-It is?

Absolutely.

By painting you with salt, he shows

that you add flavor, spice, zest,

to our otherwise humdrum lives.

Oh... And I do, don't I?

Yeah.

Then I love it.
And best of all, it looks just like me.

[both laughing]

And why shouldn't it?

After all, it's the Queen's portrait.

♪ Your picture is worth a thousand words ♪

♪ So perfect and complete
No other beauty can compete ♪

♪ Your delicate features
And beautiful nose ♪

♪ Are more exquisite
Than the finest rose ♪

♪ Your eyes are magnificent
Windows to your soul ♪

♪ When I gaze at your portrait
A reigning beauty to behold ♪

♪ Your picture is worth a thousand words ♪

♪ So perfect and complete
No other beauty can compete ♪

♪ Your hair is extraordinary
Soft and so fine ♪

♪ Your mouth is a masterpiece
So pure and divine ♪

♪ Your picture is worth a thousand words ♪

♪ So perfect and complete
No other beauty can compete ♪

♪ Your picture is worth a thousand words
Maybe a million ♪

♪ So perfect and complete
No other beauty can compete ♪

Why, Dinah. I had no idea
you were an artist.

Is that why you wouldn't
sit still for me, you stinker?

[meows]

Now, let's see.
Your painting's got to have a name.

Hmm... I know. I'll call it Pussyfooting.

[theme music playing]

♪ That's all for now
But we'll see you again ♪

♪ Come back real soon
Now that we're all friends ♪

♪ Where every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme and a dance or two ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventures in Wonderland ♪