01x03 - Red Queen for a Day

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

Dinah, look what I brought you
from Kim's going-away party.

Oh, that's right.
You don't read French, do you?

It says "Bon voyage,"
which means "Have a good trip."

Careful. I don't think
balloons are cat-proof.

-[balloon pops]
-[Dinah meows]

Dinah, I told you to be careful,
you scaredy-cat.

[mom] Alice, don't forget
to wash the dishes sometime tonight.

-Again? Can't Kathy do it?
-[mom] Your sister has homework.

-What about Brian?
-[mom] I'm asking you to do it.

[sighs] Okay.

It's not fair.

I always have to do the dishes.
But not right this minute.

[mystical music playing]

[theme music playing]

♪ Hold on to your seat
Let's go for a ride ♪

♪ Now that we're here
On the other side ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme, and a dance or two ♪

♪ It's a curious place
With a wonderful crew ♪

♪ And you're never quite sure
What they will do ♪

♪ Use your imagination
You'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

Royal toothbrush, royal traveler's checks,

and don't forget
my royal designer sunglasses.

But, Your Majesty,

you're only going to the beach
for the weekend.

Are you sure
you need all of these accessories?

I mean, uh,
your regal loveliness stands on its own.

Thank you, Rabbit.
[chuckles] Now stand on that.

Queens don't travel light.

Of course not, Your Majesty.

Hurry now. I can't wait to hit that beach.

And don't forget my royal scuba flippers.

Right here, Your Majesty.

But, uh, Your Majesty...

there doesn't seem to be enough room.

Then push harder, Rabbit.

Gee, I'm having fun already.

Oh, I do love to pack.

♪ Sunglasses, pajamas ♪

♪ Towels and a clock ♪

♪ Evening gowns, raincoats ♪

♪ And a dozen pink socks ♪

♪ I love to pack ♪

♪ There's so much to bring ♪

♪ I must be sure that I have everything ♪

♪ I'm going on vacation
Gonna have a ball ♪

♪ I wanna have some fun
So I'm packing it all ♪

♪ A mini dress, a yo-yo
Clothes in which to play ♪

♪ Volleyballs, Frisbees
Ping-Pong and croquet ♪

♪ Golf ba*ls, everything
But the kitchen sink ♪

♪ What else can I pack?
Give me a moment to think ♪

♪ When I'm going to the beach
On a tropical isle ♪

♪ I take my whole wardrobe
So I strut in style ♪

♪ Not to be in fashion is a royal sin ♪

♪ So I'm packing everything
To be sure ♪

♪ And, well, I love to pack ♪

[laughs]

♪ There's so much to bring ♪

♪ I must be sure
That I have everything ♪

♪ I love to pack ♪

Whew.

That was tiring.
I really need this vacation now.

-Rabbit!
-[upbeat music playing]

[Rabbit murmurs indistinctly]

[snoring]

[yelping]

-Oh.
-[meows]

No catnapping in the queen's palace.

Well, excuse me for living.

Nine lives.

[crowd chattering]

[crowd clamoring]

Greetings, Wonderland subjects.
How thoughtful of you to see me off-- Oh!

-Watch where you're hopping, Rabbit.
-So sorry, Your Majesty.

Completely my fault. Clumsy me.

Oh, Your Majesty, we'll miss you so.

Wonderland without our dear queen
is like a day without sunburn.

-Sunshine.
-Bon voyage, Your Majesty.

"Bon voyage"?

Oh. Pardon my French.
It means "Good voyage."

-Is she leaving on a ship?
-No.

People just say "Bon voyage"
whenever someone goes on a trip.

Bon voyage, Your Majesty.

Your Royal Highness,
we will anxiously await your return.

We'll miss you, Your Majesty.

Well, gee.

If everyone's going to miss me that much,
maybe I should just stay.

-[Dee gasps]
-Oh, no. We wouldn't dream--

[all chattering]

Oh, very well.

I'll see you all
in a few days at my homecoming.

Your Majesty, wait.

Who will make the royal decisions
while you're away?

You must, uh, ahem, appoint someone
to take your place. [chuckles]

Oh, right. Let's see.

Ah. Yes, very well.

I appoint Alice queen for the weekend.

-Ah! Good choice.
-Congratulations.

-Me?
-Yes, you.

Now, I'm late
for a very important date on the beach.

Surf's up! [chuckles]

-Bye-bye.
-Have a good time.

Bye-bye.

[all cheering]

Oh!

Is there anything I can do for you,
Queen Alice?

"Queen Alice"?

That's right. I'm the queen.

-This is going to be so much fun.
-[chuckles]

[upbeat pop music playing]

♪ I can hardly wait
To wear the royal crown ♪

♪ Diamonds, emeralds, rubies
And a red velvet gown ♪

♪ I'll wear the finest clothes
Maybe live in a zoo ♪

♪ I'll learn how to tap-dance
And play the kazoo ♪

♪ Being queen is so much fun
I get to play all day ♪

♪ Rule my kingdom fair and wise
In a special royal way ♪

♪ I'll wear my favorite shoes
And lots of sweet perfume ♪

♪ I'll never have to make my bed
Or clean my royal room ♪

♪ I'll have lots of parties
And serve my favorite cakes ♪

♪ And when it's time for bed
Instead I'll stay up late ♪

♪ Being queen is so much fun
I get to play all day ♪

♪ Rule my kingdom fair and wise
In a special royal way ♪

[chuckles] I only hope
you can fill the queen's shoes.

Where would you like me to place
the royal daffodils, Your Majesty?

-Hmm. How about over there, by the window?
-Oh.

No.

Um... over there, by the wall.

Oh.

No.

Uh...

There, outside the door, in the sun.

Oh, uh, yes, Your Majesty.

Well, that was easy.
It's fun making royal decisions.

[sighs]

Mr. Rabbit,
this chair's as hard as a rock.

All chairs are uncomfortable,
Your Majesty,

when we sit in them all day long.

Even the royal throne.

-[Alice] I can't sit here any longer.
-[snoring]

But it's your throne, Your Majesty.
Where else would you--? [yelps]

Scat, cat!

I've told you time and again:

Napping in the queen's palace
is forbidden.

Well, why not let Queen Alice decide
if I may stay?

-Me?
-Oh, but of course, Your Majesty.

Until the Red Queen returns,

you alone must make
all the royal decisions in Wonderland.

Well, Queen Alice, do I stay or do I go?

Your Majesty, if I may speak,

it's quite unfitting
to have that naughty cat seen napping

in the queen's palace.

It clearly violates the queen's law
against royal eyesores.

Well, if the queen has a law
against eyesores,

then I suppose the Cheshire Cat
can't be seen napping in the palace.

-Ha!
-But, of course,

if the Cheshire Cat becomes invisible,
then he won't be seen.

And if we can't see him,
then he's not an eyesore.

Ha! Mm.

You do have a point, Your Majesty.

Therefore, I decide that Mr. Cat may stay
if he remains invisible.

And while he's invisible, Mr. Rabbit,

you can walk right through him
and not trip.

[Cheshire Cat laughing]

[laughing mockingly]

Excellent royal decision, Your Majesty.

That is to say, uh,
not bad for a beginner.

Now what?

What does the queen usually do
when she runs out of decisions to make?

Oh. [chuckles]

She nibbles chocolates, watches TV,

takes bubble baths,
asks for the impossible.

I mean, gives me royal orders.

I want to be the nicest queen possible.

I think it would be very nice
to go out and visit my subjects.

[chuckling] Oh, visit your...
What a silly idea.

Oh, no, no. The Red Queen
wouldn't waste time visiting--

Do you usually tell the queen
her ideas are silly?

Certainly not. Why, I-- Oh.

I see. Visiting your subjects.

Brilliant idea, Your Majesty.

[Dum] Okay, okay. Crystal's good.


[Dum] Okay, okay. Crystal's good.

-Put your X there.
-Right. Where? Where?

Put your X there, man. X there.

-Are you sure?
-Oh, yeah.

-Well, all right.
-[beeping]

[Dee] What? Crystal won.

You made me lose.

I know. My turn.

Oh! Not so fast.

You X'd me out of my turn on purpose.

You lost. It's my turn.

-Wait.
-Hey--

[alarm blaring]

"Queen alert."

[fanfare playing]

-Oh. It's just Alice.
-It's just Alice.

Queen Alice, remember?

Oh, that's right.

So how's it going, Your Majesty?

I thought I heard arguing.

Yeah, because Dee thinks
he can take two turns in a row.

That's because Dum here
gave me bad advice and made me lose.

You should know better
than to take "dumb" advice.

[laughs]

Oh. It just so happens that Queen Alice is
on her rounds, making royal decisions.

Perhaps Her Majesty might decide
whose turn is next.

Oh, great! Another royal decision!

Gee, I want to be fair...

but it's so hard
to decide between Tweedles.

[hip-hop music playing]

[rapping]
♪ Now, listen here, I was playin' a game ♪

♪ And playin' pretty well, I'd say ♪

♪ When Dum shows up with bad advice ♪

♪ He said, "Look at it my way" ♪

[rapping] ♪ Now, I was watchin' the game ♪

♪ And Dee was playin' pretty dumb
I'd say ♪

♪ When I showed up to help him out ♪

♪ I said, "Look at it my way" ♪

♪ I said, "I'm just helpin'" ♪

♪ I said, "You're not playin'" ♪

♪ I said, "You're not tic-tac-toe'ing" ♪

-♪ So I said, "You're not stayin'" ♪
-♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Look at it my way ♪

♪ Look at it my way ♪

♪ I was playin' fine ♪

♪ You were losin' the game ♪

♪ I was guidin' myself right ♪

♪ But it turned out just the same ♪

♪ You look at it my way ♪

♪ No, you look at it my way ♪

♪ No, you look at it my way ♪

[both] ♪ Look at it my way ♪

Gee, I see your side of this, Mr. Dee.

And, of course,
I see your side of this too, Mr. Dum.

Well... Oh, I just don't know.

You can't not know, Your Majesty.
You're the Queen.

Very well.

If you two can't get along
without fighting,

there'll be no more games today.

What? No more games?

I don't even get my turn?
Thanks a lot, Dee.

Don't look at me, Dum.
Queen Alice made the decision.

That's right. Come on, Dee.

Let's get out of here before she decides
we can never play again.

Gee, Mr. Rabbit,

I tried to make a fair decision.
Now they're both mad at me.

Oh, well, it's not easy being queen.

[quirky music playing]

More tea, Hare?

How can I refuse?
If I refused, it wouldn't be a tea party.

Oh, quite right. It would be a tart party.

No, no, no. It would be a cookie party.

Nonsense. Everyone knows
the best sweet with tea is tarts.

I say it's cookies.

Anyone for cheesecake?

[zany music playing]

Tarts, tarts, tarts!

Cookies, cookies, cookies!

[Dormouse in muffled voice]
Cheesecake, cheesecake, cheesecake!

[fanfare playing]

Hello, Mr. Hatter, Mr. Hare.

[both] Good day, Your Majesty.

Is there a problem?

No problem, Your Majesty.

I'm simply teaching Hare and the Dormouse
the correct sweet to eat with tea. Tarts.

But I want cookies.

I say cheesecake.

For goodness' sake, why don't you each
just have what you want?

Oh, no, no, no. At a proper tea party,
everyone must eat the same sweet.

Yes, indeed. That's a rule.

Oh, dear, Your Majesty.

I'm afraid
another royal decision is required.

Well, let's see.
Tarts, cookies or cheesecake.

This is a hard one.

[both] Well?

Quickly, Your Highness.
Queens must be decisive.

But I'm afraid to decide, Mr. Rabbit.
I don't wanna lose any more friends.

What should I do?

Oh, well, the Queen usually calls a recess
when she's too lazy--

Uh, busy to decide very important matters.

-A recess?
-Yes.

That's what I need.

I'll take time to think this over.
Once I've decided, I'll get back to you.

A wise decision, Your Majesty.

We can't have a proper tea party
without a proper sweet!

Most improper!

[exotic music playing]

[exotic music playing]

Mushroom ice cream.

Heaven in Wonderland.

Oh, look, Mr. Rabbit.
Maybe Mr. Caterpillar can help me decide

which sweet to choose
for the Hatter's tea party.

Caterpillar is a bit of a know-it-all
when it comes to tasty treats.

Hello, Mr. Caterpillar.

Never disturb me
when I'm in dessert paradise.

Manners, Caterpillar.
You are addressing your queen.

Oh, I beg your pardon,
Your Majesty Queen Alice.

Sorry to bother you, Mr. Caterpillar,
but I need your expert advice.

Of course, Your Majesty. I'm all thumbs.

Uh, I mean, ears.

I need to make
an important royal decision,

but I'm afraid to.

I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.

Indeed. Well, then, Your Majesty
needs more than expert advice.

She needs a story.

This is a tale
of a beautiful young princess

who longed for a handsome prince.

One day the princess was sitting
by the lily pond

when she was suddenly surrounded
by three frogs.

-[croaks]
-Yuck.

[Caterpillar] Each one said they were
a prince who was under a spell.

Each one wanted a kiss
from the princess to break the spell.

The first said,
"Choose me, for I am wise."

The second said,
"Choose me, for I am handsome."

The third said,
"Choose me, for I am a fun guy."

-[noisemaker toots]
-Hmm.

[Caterpillar] The princess didn't know
which frog to kiss.

Would it be Frog Number 1,

Frog Number 2,

or Frog Number 3?

-[noisemaker toots]
-Whoo!

[Caterpillar] Well, the princess
simply couldn't decide

which frog prince to choose.

And she felt so guilty about it

that she began baking them cookies
to eat while they waited.

[Alice] Which frog did she choose?

[Caterpillar]
The princess never could make a decision.

So instead of a handsome prince,
she ended up with three very fat frogs.

-[hiccups]
-[noisemaker toots]

I guess it's not a good thing
when you can't make up your mind.

Yes, yes. You must decide
which is the correct tea-party sweet.

Sweet?

Yes. I must decide the right snack

to serve at a proper tea party:
tarts, cookies or cheesecake.

If I may, Your Majesty,

while each of those
is indeed a tasty treat,

they're far too common
for a proper tea party.

Might I suggest a lovely mushroom quiche?

[all] Mushroom quiche?

[Mad Hatter] The very idea!

This goes to show
that some people should never be queen.

Especially Alice.

You'll never fill the queen's shoes.

I should say not.

Mr. Rabbit, this is awful.

I'm doing the best I can,
and all I'm doing is losing friends.

You were sure right
when you said it's not easy being queen.

[regal music playing]

♪ For every Royal decree
There are surely those who disagree ♪

♪ But she knows much more than we
Sees much better than we see ♪

♪ It's not easy being queen ♪


♪ She must choose the clothes to wear
And how to comb her Royal hair ♪

♪ And the color of her shoes
It must be so hard to choose ♪

Red or off-red?

♪ It's not easy being queen ♪

♪ She's an executive and a president
Head of state rolled into one ♪

♪ She says, "Should I relax today
Or maybe take a second bath?" ♪

♪ Should I dedicate or proclamate? ♪

♪ Should I walk alone
Or sit on my throne? ♪

No, my dear...

♪ It's not easy being queen ♪

Boy, I can't wait
till the queen gets back.

I don't wanna make
any more royal decisions.

Oh, crummy vacation!

I can't remember
when I've had such a miserable time.

All that icky sand
squishing between my toes.

And no itsy-bitsy umbrellas
in my lemonade!

-Your Majesty, you're home!
-Yes. Why are you sitting on my throne?

Oh, you appointed her queen
for the weekend, remember?

And my shoes! You're wearing my shoes!

I said you could be queen,
but I never said you could wear my shoes.

Here, Your Majesty.
I don't wanna be queen anymore.

There's no way I could fill your shoes.

Of course not. [sighs]

Ah. It's good to be back.

As I always say,
there's no place like the throne.

Good pun, Your Majesty, good pun.

[laughing]

"No place like the throne."

[mystical music playing]

Hi, Dinah. I don't suppose
you did the dishes while I was gone.

I didn't think so.

Well, I better get started, then.
I'll fix your dinner at the same time.

What would you rather have,
chicken or tuna?

[mewls]

Oh, no, I'm not deciding.
It's all up to you.

[theme music playing]

♪ That's all for now
But we'll see you again ♪

♪ Come back real soon
Now that we're all friends ♪

♪ Where every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme, and a dance or two ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventures in Wonderland ♪