02x09 - Four Stories Up

[bunniefuu]

-[theme music playing]
-[barking]

-[barking]
-[engine revs]

♪ I'm seeing lots of spots ♪

♪ Plenty of polka dots ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ Can't catch a furry flurry ♪

♪ Running in a blurry hurry ♪

[barking]

♪ Get those puppies! ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Canines on the run ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Them doggone dogs are fun ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Without fail you'll wind up
chasing your tail ♪

♪ What's the harm
in revelous adventures ♪

-♪ On the funny farm? ♪
-[clucks]

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

[barks]

♪ Life's just a bed of roses ♪

♪ 1-0-1 ♪

♪ Fast friends with cold, wet noses ♪

-♪ 1-0-1 ♪
-♪ Through thick, thin, push and pull ♪

♪ It's 1-0-1 oh wonderful! ♪

♪ Just tons of fun ♪

♪ 101 Dalmatians! ♪

Come on, man. Come on!

[grunting]

[gasps]

At last!

The sacred Golden Bone
of the Many Chew Toys.

Now it's mine, all mine!

[cackling]

-[volcano rumbling]
-Huh?

The volcano!
Well, I suppose it is time to go.

But what about me?

Oh, yes, what about you, indeed.

Just right over here.

Ahh!

[coughing]

You are most kind.

[whistling]
The volcano's erupting!

[all whistling]

The volcano's erupting!

[all shouting]

[laughing]

I am home free!

And the Golden Bone is mine!

Mine, I tell you! Mine!

-[dogs barking]
-[gasps]

Pull over, Bone Daddy!
You're through.

[barking, howling]

I thought I got rid of that
mangy mutt, Thunderbolt!

-My bone!
-Huh?

Oh, I can't look.

[coughing]

Drat. I've got to find that bone.

Ha! Thunderbolt to the rescue,
indeed!

-I'll take that bone.
-Huh?

-[static]
-[all gasping]

[all barking]

[Announcer]
And now, Cruella de Vil.

Who turned on the sci-fi channel?

[all whimpering]

Cable-de-Vil interrupts this program

to bring you the first annual
Cruell-A-Thon!

[Cadpig] Quick, find the remote!

-Got it.
-I've got it!

Take that!

If you're out there channel-surfing,

forget it! I'm everywhere!

Now put that remote down
and reach deep

into your wallets for Cruella's Kids.

[laughs]

I said it's for the kids!

Just look at this pathetic child.

I mean, the nautical look
went out ages ago.

Oh, it's simply heartbreaking.

But with your tax-deductible dollars,

we can put a stop to this
senseless fashion "floup pas."

Mom! Can Cruella do this?

Well, I'm afraid she can, Lucky.

She owns the cable station.

I want you to give, give, give!

But... but... but...

No "buts," Rolly.

You can have fun without TV.

There are plenty of shoes to be chewed
and bones to be buried.

There's lots to do.
Use your imaginations.

Come on, Perdy.
It's a beautiful night for a W-A-L-K.

Besides, we shouldn't watch
so much TV.

Don't look at me.
I don't know what to do.

Maybe we should try to
collect money for Cruella's kids.

That guy did look pretty bad.

-I mean, you saw him.
-[all growling]

Okay. It was just an idea.

What about Thunderbolt ?

[All]
Yeah! What about Thunderbolt ?

Okay, okay.
I'll tell you how it ends.

[All]
Yeah!

Ah! Excuse me.
This isn't a rerun.

How do you know how it ends?

I know how it could end.

Then what are you waiting for?
Thunderbolt's in trouble!

He sure is.

Okay, previously on Thunderbolt PI,

our hero Thunderbolt
had just miraculously saved

the Golden Bone
of the Many Chew Toys.

Or something like that.

Anyway, the sharks were circling.

And Bone Daddy was closing in on him.

But, lucky for Thunderbolt,
Baypup was on the beach.

And he was ready for action.

Uh, pardon me, ma'am.
Official business.

Ah!

Hey, I still have
half an hour on that!

[Rolly] Aw, give me a break!
You can't surf out to sea.

[Lucky] Yeah, well, this wasn't
just any surfboard.

This was a hydroponic
Super Surfboard 9000!

Oh! Never did this for me! Ahh!

Hang on, Thunderbolt!
Baypup's on his way!

Ahhh! Ah!

You're too late, Baypup.

Thunderbolt is shark bait!

[laughing]

[laughing]

[squealing]

I've won! Mmmmwah!

With this bone,

I'll rule the world!

[laughing]

Now all I have to do is rid myself
of Thunderbolt for good!

Come on, Baypup.
We can't let Cruella get away.

Why, with that bone,
she could rule the world.

Bark your prayers, Thunderbolt!

You're headed for doggy heaven!

Ahh!

Yaaah!

Mommy.

Ahh!

Oooh!

Yahhh!

Whaaa!

Out of my way, bird brain!

That was spectacular,
Thunderbolt!

I couldn't have done it
without you, Baypup.

Whaaa!

Ew! Ah!

[both screaming]

[Both] Hmm?

Oh, yeah? Well, I don't like
the taste of fish, either.

[Lucky]
So Baypup and Thunderbolt

rescued the Golden Bone
of the Many Chew Toys

and the police rescued Cruella.

That night, a big luau was held
in Baypup's honor

and he was even awarded a medal.

Great, huh?

What? That's it?

What happened to me?

[Cadpig] A commercial.

[screaming]
Commercial? Commercial?

[muttering]

Oh, finally, something worth watching.

All right, "wide guy," you try.

Eh, your story wasn't bad, Lucky.

It just needs something,
or someone, with style!

[steam whistle blowing]

[Rolly] You know,
somebody who could handle the situation

without working up a sweat.

-[bell gonging]
-[yawning]

Time for your afternoon massage, sir?

[knuckles cracking]

[Spot] Wait a minute!
What happened to Thunderbolt?

Oh, that's right.

-[gonging]
-Yes, sir? You rang?

Those people are blocking my view.

Give 'em a hand, won't you?

But, sir, I am a chicken, not a duck.

A bird's a bird. Hit the water.

Yes, sir.

Here goes nothing.

Hold on, Thunderbolt!
I'm coming!

Uh-oh.

[coughing]

Huh? Ah! Whaa!

And how about that rescue?

Still working on it, sir.

Gahh!

Ooh! I've got it!

[Spot]
Help, sir!

[laughing]

Ahh! Ow, ow, ow, ow!

[moaning]

Thanks, Rolly.

No sweat.

[camera flash snapping]

And so, after single-handedly
rescuing Thunderbolt,

saving the world,

and, I might add,
winning the limbo contest,

I sailed off into the sunset.

[Spot] Okay, hold it right there!

Is it my imagination,

or am I getting the feathers
plucked out of me?

And where did you come up
with that... that waiter stuff?

-I...
-Aw, you're such a good sport, Spot.

Oh, thanks.
I feel a whole lot better now.

So, you know,
let me just get this straight...

other than winning
the limbo contest,

what did you really get
out of this, Rolly?

Well, there was that buffet.

Hey, let's see if Thunderbolt is back on.

-[static]
-Yipes!

[Spot clucking]

I don't hear those phones ringing.

Ring, ring, ring! Not hearing.

Hmm.

Perhaps it's premiums you want.
Well, that's no problem.

Because with every donation
to Cruella's Kids,

I'll give you a copy of my cookbook,

Cooking with Suede.

Plus my musical compilation CD,

Wear Plaid, Daddy-O.

And in addition to these fine
and much-sought-after items,

I'll also give you
a choice of my exquisite

fashionable home air fresheners,

Polyester Breeze,

Corduroy Summer
or Leather Meadow.

And for those who really dig deep,

deep, deep in their dungarees,

I'll personally provide
a free fashion makeover.

Here, let me demonstrate.

Uh, yeah, I want a super pizza
mega combo supreme.

Now does that come
with a super mega drink,

or is that extra?

Ooh!

Gah! Ow!

Gah! This is totally embarrassing.

[static]

I think this story
actually went more like this...

[laughing]

Huh?

[laughing] What?

Ah!

Uh-oh.

[Cadpig's voice]
Welcome to Various Five,

field craft for Solar Sector Nine
regional council.

I am Gipdac.

That's Cadpig spelled backwards!

Your material concerns
are why you are here,

oh fashionable crabby one.
As regional...

Oh, lovely, darling, lovely.
Now get to the point.

I'm having lunch in 20.

Uh, hello? Remember me?

I'm having a little
stomach problem here...

like no stomach!

Ah, yes. I'll get a couple
of handymen up here

to see what they can do.

You rang, oh Gipdac?

The lips. Don't move your lips.

-We're telepathic, remember?
-Oh, sorry.

We have a transporter malfunction.

See what you can do
about fixing the chicken.

[Both]
Right away, ma'am.

Not that button, you ninny. This one.

Ah!

As I was saying,

you two have been brought here
to learn a system of inner values.

Peace, interplanetary harmony,
and stellar convergence.

Oh, very '60s.

Memo to myself...
bring back go-go boots.

Come, follow and learn.

Hey, where are you going?

I wonder what this button does.

Gah!

Bow... wow...

[All] Bow... wow...

bow, wow...

h*, carefully, Horace.
These are very delicate machines.

Gah! Ah! Uh...

I feel so... centered.

How will I ever thank you?

No thanks are necessary.

Just remember what you have learned.

Materialism and greed
have no place in the world.

And it's really hard
to get out of this position, isn't it?

Farewell.

Dematerialize in peace.

Hey, what about me?

You have to catch
the next fantasy, chicken.

Hey, where are you going?
You're not done.

-It's lunchtime, chicken.
-Union rules.

[Cadpig] And so, Thunderbolt
returned to earth,

retiring from crime-fighting,

to become a full-time yoga instructor.

That's it! I've had it.

I don't need to take this abuse!

You want some sucker
for your stupid stories?

Then find some other chicken to fry.

What? What did I say?

Okay, you pups!

I've had to listen
as I was dunked and drowned,

b-buried and bruised,

capsized and even "alienized"!

Now I think it's time
for a little chicken revenge!

Wonder if Thunderbolt
is back on yet.

Gah!

Welcome back,
my generous TV Land friends,

to the Cruell-A-Thon,

benefiting Cruella's kids.

Yes, your hard-earned pennies
will help me

prevent future generations

from a veritable plague
of fashion faux pas.

Now let's take a look
at the tote-board total, shall we?

Five cents?

That's it? Five measly cents?

Hey, I had to pay for the sucker.

The only suckers I want

are the ones that call in
and donate money!

[phone ringing]

Oh, hello!
Well, speaking of calling in,

-let's check the phones.
-[phones ringing]

Who? No, no Thelma here.

Hello? Hold on, I'll ask.

Um, Miss de Vil, do you want
your carpets cleaned?

Listen to me out there!

I don't want fashion sense.

I want dollars! Do you hear me?

Dollars, dollars, dollars!

Now get to those phones
and start calling!

This stinks, man.

Thunderbolt is still not back on.

Hey, excuse me, everyone.

But I believe we are about
to hear my version

of how Thunderbolt PI ends.

Ahem.

[Spot] Thunderbolt was between
Cruella and the sharks.

There was no way out.

When suddenly...

Gah!

Oh, oh! It's Cluckzilla!

Run for your lives!

Ahhh!

Oh! Ah!

Gah!

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

Cluckzilla! [blowing]

Waaah!

[evil clucking]

[barking, chewing]

That is really annoying!

Uh-oh.

[steam whistle blowing]

[gasps] Oh, Cluckzilla!

[evil clucking]

[screaming]

[all screaming]

Ahh!

That's it!

Thought you'd beat the chicken!

Ha! Roar! [clucking]

Ha ha! Cluckzilla headed
straight for the city!

Ahh!

Was that the coolest or what?

You're right... "or what."

Ah, I feel better.

So what do you want to do now?

Whatever you want, Spot.

I think I'd rather
watch the Cruell-A-Thon.

Not one call.

Not one single call.

Doesn't anyone care
about the fashion-challenged?

[phone ringing]

Hello? Cruell-A-Thon.

How much would you like
to give to Cruella's Kids?

No, I don't want to change
my long-distance carrier!

That's it! We're off the air.

[Announcer]
We now return to Thunderbolt PI!

Hey, it's Thunderbolt.

He's back on!
He's back on, you guys.

[all yipping]

[motorboat engine recedes]

-That's not what happens.
-Not even close.

My ending was much better.

I could think of 101 endings
better than that one.

You are so right.

Our endings were
much more interesting

than anything we could see on TV.

[all barking]

[Announcer]
Tonight, on the Inner Peace Channel,

Days of our Past Lives.

We'll meet a man who claims
to have been a ladybug.

[theme music playing]