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Audrey (2024)

Comedy Movie Collection.
(Buddy/Dark/Black/Parody/Screwball/Slapstick/Sketch/Satire/Spoof/Mock/Comedians/etc.)

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Comedy Movie Collection.

Audrey (2024)

Post by bunniefuu »

[upbeat music]

[clicking]

[projector whirrs]

[electronic music]

[audience chatter]

Shh! Shh! Shh!

[projector whirrs]

[clunk]

[spacey electronic music]

[vibrant music]

[Ronnie] m*rder-suicide?

[exhaling]

She was... she was trying

to tell me something that night,

but I just couldn't hear her.

Projection's never

been her strength.

I couldn't... I couldn't hear

my baby's pleas for help.

[screaming in distance]

["Groovy" by Barkaa playing]

[groaning]

I got my groove back,

b*tch I'm groovy...

- [Ronnie] Stop! I said stop it!

- [song continues]

[Ronnie whispering

indistinctly, screaming]

Borderline I'm a

little crazy...

I said, "No! No!"

I said yes!

Ohh!

[loud groaning]

[announcer on TV]

Delta Goodrem,

- 'Neighbours', Network Ten...

- [Ronnie] Mmmm!

[announcer] ...Ronnie Willis,

'Jillaroo', Nine Network,

Tammin Sursok, 'Home &

Away', Seven Network.

[Ronnie]

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh! No! No!

[announcer] And the 2004

Silver Logie goes to...

Ronnie Willis for 'Jillaroo'.

Ohhh!

- [squeals excitedly]

- [applause]

Ahhh!

- It's true what they say...

- [Audrey] Mum!

Ma-ma-ma! Ma! Ma! Urgh!

The view from the top...

[Audrey] Mum! Mum! Ronnie!

Is amazing.

[exuberant cheering

and applause]

I'm a monument You

could never move me.

- [song ends]

- [heavy panting, squelching]

[whispers] Come on.

Come on!

What the f*ck, Dad?

- Audrey?! What...?

- What the f*ck?!

- Look away!

- I'm traumatised!

You've just traumatised

your daughter!

- You walked in on me!

- I can't find my almond milk!

- I only drink almond milk!

- Did you ask your mum?

No! I couldn't find Ronnie

and I couldn't find you!

But you know I only

drink plant milk!

Yes, yes, yes...

- Of course. I'm sorry.

- [gagging]

One of us will

pick some up today.

You're so disgusting!

Feral!

[fleshlight vibrating]

Reparations for this trauma.

And this one... is to make

sure that I don't tell Mum.

f*cking disgusting!

[Audrey groans in disgust]

- [fleshlight vibrating]

- [sighs softly]

[dog barks]

- [Dog growls]

- Hey! Dog! Dog! My toy!

b*stard.

[Ronnie sighing] That

is not your bone, Dog.

[Dog whimpers]

[dishwasher beeps and whirrs]

[sighs heavily]

[grunting and banging]

Dad! Stairs!

Bathroom door broke again.

- It was an accident.

- I'll fix it tonight.

Sure you will. Add

it to the list.

- Mm-hm.

- Under "trim lemon tree".

Norah, the bathroom

is for everyone, okay?

Treat it like

threading a needle.

The chair fits through the door.

- [Norah] I know, I know.

- You've got to learn patience.

Ah! How many times

have I told you

not to let the dog lick lemons?

He's vegetarian now, Mum.

Just let him be who he is.

[Norah] Oi, get your own

toast, you toast klepto.

Sign this. For school.

To say I've completed

my community service.

Hanging out with your sister

does not count as

community service.

- What the actual f*ck?!

- [Ronnie] Norah, language.

Spending time with vulnerable

members of the community is.

Excuse you. I am

not vulnerable.

In fact, I'd filet your arse

if I was allowed to

be adequately trained

in the art of fencing.

Okay, we're not

signing this. Are we?

[sighs] No. Your mother's

right. We're not.

You want me to do over

my community service?

You know what that means, right?

I'll have to sign up to work

at the old people's home

after school - every day.

And that'll mean missing out

on voice and movement lessons.

And it might even

mean missing out

on that Masterclass-thingy.

Okay, you can just

call it a Masterclass.

Don't add "thingy" to the end.

It's not a Masterclass-thingy.

It's a Masterclass. And

major talent scouts attend.

They won't get to see my

talent, as I won't be there.

Not... at... all.

- Fine.

- You've gotta be sh1tting me.

Norah, if I have to talk to you

about language one

more time, I swear...

Okay, but if Audrey gets to

claim me as "vulnerable",

then I get to claim her

as a g*dd*mn sociopath!

- Am not!

- Are too!

- Sociopath.

- I heard that.

You were meant to.

[Ronnie] Audrey, I'll pick you

up from voice this afternoon.

- It's okay, Max'll pick me up.

- No. Not on a school night.

What? Why? I'm 18. I'm the

author of my own story.

- 17!

- 17 and nine months.

I don't want you diddling

away your time with boys...

- [Norah] Ha! Diddle.

- You're a child!

- Yes, legally I am.

- Lucinda won't accept

anything less than perfect

when you're working with her.

Whatever, I can't wait

for school to be over

and I can do whatever I

want, whenever I want.

And not a day goes by when you

don't violate my human rights!

If you're really worried about

Mum violating your rights,

you could take it

up with the model UN

we started at school this month.

Shut up. No one asked

for your opinion.

It was nice of your

sister to offer, Audrey.

She didn't have to.

[heavy metal music blaring]

Your band sounds great.

- [stereo clicks, music stops]

- I said no talking.

I'm allowed to tell

him I like his band.

No, you can't! Not unless

you wanna make your

own way to school.

- I'll just walk, shall I?

- You know what I meant.

Try these. Takes

the edge right off.

Hey, isn't that my

pain medication?

Did you speak to

your mum about Nepal?

- Nepal? What...?

- Shut up!

Do you even know where

or what Nepal is?

Yes.

It's far enough away

from you and Mum and Dad.

Especially Mum. And,

yeah, it's a country in...

In?

- [whispers] Asia.

- In Asia.

Oh, look who looked at a

world map. Congratulations.

[Max] After we graduate,

we are going to Nepal

for a UNESCO-sponsored

house-building program

- and surf holiday.

- What?

We're gonna do something amazing

with our white privilege.

When are you gonna tell

Mum? And can I be there?

- It's my life.

- Ha. No, it's not.

[upbeat electronic

music playing]

[people] A man scatters

seed on the ground.

- [man] Day and night...

- [people] Day and night...

[man] ...whether he

sleeps or gets up...

[people] ...whether he

sleeps or gets up...

[man] ...the seeds

sprout and grow...

[people] ...the seeds

sprout and grow...

though he does not know how.

[people] ...though

he does not know how.

- [man] Amen.

- [people] Amen.

[man] All right, let's

bless this puppy.

[woman] Let's do this.

Sorry to interrupt.

Cormack.

Bourke Kennedy. No need

to apologise, Cormack.

When the need hits

us to pray, we pray.

God doesn't give a f*ck

about the fact that

I've got to meet a bloke

that might change my life.

Hm.

Coffee?

Love black coffee.

Ah... I mean...

I'd like a coffee, any coffee.

[chuckles softly]

A man who loves coffee.

- Been here long?

- A few months.

Would love to unpack,

but as you can see

we lack the appropriate

storage space.

[Cormack] Mmm.

- That's where you come in.

- What were you thinking?

Ceiling to floor, door to door.

Mainly for video

and tech equipment.

[Cormack] Mmm.

Something that's...

[coffee bubbling and hissing]

[echoing in slow-motion]

nice and deep.

[echoing exhale]

Deep storage.

My specialty.

I'll take a few measurements,

get a quote together.

Do you know what...

kind of, um...

wood finish you'd like?

It's just I'll factor that in.

What would you recommend?

Mahogany.

Timeless.

Mmm, timeless.

[Bourke] Nice.

[Ronnie] It's not as

if I didn't already

have somebody to love.

We slept together

three nights in a row.

[exhales softly]

Three nights in a row.

Well, that's enough

to make it too late.

And end scene.

[scattered applause]

[Ronnie] Yeah. So what

you want to capture

is 'Monkey Grip's fatalism.

Okay? The recognition

of knowing that

everything you do

in your search for love could

destroy those around you!

So, as an actor, you

need to ask yourself...

- Why?

- Why?

Is... love...

worth it?

Do I deserve it?

[R&B music playing softly]

Wow.

You look amazing.

Yeah. Thanks.

But, um... they're not for me.

I'm shopping for my daughter.

You're a mum?

Yeah. Two teenage daughters.

No way. I don't believe you.

May. May.

Can you believe

it? She's a mum.

With two teenage daughters.

Oh, cut it out!

- You could be her.

- [chuckles]

[May] You know,

you're very familiar.

Oh, I, uh...

- I used to be on TV.

- Anything we know you from?

Yeah. Um... 'Jillaroo'?

Er, 'Cul-de-sac Bay'?

Did you guys catch

'Jillaroo 2.0'?

[May] Mm, no.

And in 'Neighbours' I had

a... I had a two-episode arc.

[May] Yes! Yes! I

think I remember.

Do you know Kylie?

- Kylie?

- [May] You know, 'Padam Padam'.

I love Kylie Minogue.

She was in 'Neighbours'.

- Vintage.

- Yeah.

You know, Kylie?

The "La La" song?

- Yeah, I know who Kylie is.

- [both sing] La, la, la...

But we... Our paths

never crossed.

- [May] Jason Donovan? Toadie?

- No.

[MAY-A] I'm just

sinking skin In my bones

Fiending for you

In my clothes

You left me all on my own

All on my own

Missing you Like

a little kid

- Waiting for you to get...

- [Norah] Hey, guys!

[Audrey] Oh, my God!

What are you doing here?

What are you wearing?

You look ridiculous.

- [music stops]

- I booked the gym.

- You can't book the gym.

- [Norah] Yes, you can.

- I did it via the intranet.

- Okay, tech-head. Whatever.

The intranet? Actually

doesn't even sound real.

- [Norah and Max] It is.

- [Audrey] You can't have it.

We're practising for the

school graduation ceremony.

- [Norah] But I'm in training.

- For what?

- The Special Olympics?

- Shut it, Irene!

You can't say sh*t

like that to my sister.

Maybe she is? It was

a genuine question.

And it's a great

question, Irene.

And I'd love to compete

in the Paralympics.

- See?

- Interesting fact...

Is it interesting? It

better be interesting.

Wheelchair fencing

has been a fixture

of the Paralympic Games since

its debut in Rome in 1960.

You can practise in the corner.

There are three events

I could compete in...

Fencing? Really?

Any sort of sport would

be great for Norah.

- She's a natural athlete.

- Just like Dad.

Yeah, no, I don't doubt it,

and I would love for Norah

to be able to do

anything that she wants.

Really? So I could be

a professional fencer?

'Course I mean it, honey.

But - and I'm a

little bit annoyed

that it's fallen to

me to point this out -

you're failing to address the

elephant in the room here.

Norah is more than capable...

Uh, no, which is... which

is clearly the cost.

The cost? What? Audrey

gets dance, singing...

It's just not something we

can afford to do right now.

You see...

Audrey, my eldest daughter,

she's very, very special.

She has...

special needs.

You can't be serious.

And children like

that, well... [exhales]

God, they're exhausting.

[car engine revving]

[indie rock music

playing on car stereo]

Okay. Go on.

I'm not going. She's

your special daughter.

Oh, don't be a baby. You're

the one that ambushed me.

Parenting advice from a

physiotherapist? Seriously?

Off you go.

You have to help me out, Mum.

I am in a wheelchair, remember?

[huffs] My gosh.

[up-tempo pop music playing

loudly on car stereo]

[music quietens]

Where's your special daughter?

If I had to hazard a guess,

I would say not here.

You're navigating.

How can we truly connect when

I haven't been inside you yet?

Not yet.

Not here.

We'll never change

the world together

if you can't declare

your love for me.

- [tyres screeching]

- [whispers indistinctly]

[heavy metal music playing]

- Listen to me...

- I f*cking love you, Audrey!

I love you. Why can't you

show me that you love me?

- [car door opens]

- [shrieks]

- Oh, my God! Mum!

- [Max] Ronnie?

What the hell are

you doing here?!

I'm sorry to interrupt

a little teenage regret,

but Audrey missed her

voice class this afternoon

and I'm hoping to get

some clarification on why.

How did you find me?

Are you tracking me?

- You. Out of the van. Now!

- f*ck! b*tch!

[grunts angrily]

[Max] Jesus Christ.

Oh, you can't tell

me what to do!

Look, you don't have time

to be skipping voice lessons

- to hang out with boys.

- I'm ordering pizza.

You have a future

to worry about.

- Ham-and-pineapple and supreme.

- And, young lady, a future

is not something you find

in the back seat of a car.

We were in the front seat. And

maybe I don't want your future.

- Have you thought about that?

- Audrey, we have invested

so much time in your career.

I gave up my career.

I just don't want

you to jeopardise...

All investments

carry risk, Mother!

- I quit!

- Quit what?!

Acting! I don't want

to go to drama school.

I don't want to be an

actor, a voice-over artist,

and I don't want to go to

some stupid Masterclass

with whatever the

f*ck her name is.

[Ronnie] Lucinda Domotrov.

And it is a gift that a

director of that calibre

deigned to give you a

place in her course.

I mean, her all-male production

of 'The vag*na Monologues'

was a f*cking revelation!

- [arguing continues]

- They've also got...

crme caramel,

home-style tiramisu...

I'm going to Nepal with Max

and I'm gonna build a house

for the disadvantaged.

Okay. Yeah.

[stammers] I found your

little travel guide.

You went through my things?

Maybe check with those two.

I dunno what they want.

I'm not checking with those two.

You can't quit destiny.

Not after all the

work I've put into it!

I don't want to be a

dancer or an actress

or a voice-over artist - not if

it means turning out like you!

- Audrey!

- What?! We all know the truth!

- And what's that?

- Don't take the bait.

Ah-ah! I'm fascinated.

What's the truth?

You're a sh*t actress,

and you know it.

You just quit before

anyone else realised.

[footsteps receding]

Just me.

[sighs heavily]

[tearfully] Is it true?

It was a fight.

Yeah, but why say it if it's...

I mean, have I got no talent?

Has everything 'TV Week' ever

written about me been a lie?

She was trying to hurt

you. It's what she does.

And you take the

bait every time.

I know.

Maybe we should let her

build igloos for the Inuits,

- if that's what she wants.

- Oh, God...

[sighs heavily]

God knows it would give

us more time for us.

[scoffs]

And what would we do with

this "us" time, Cormack?

I don't know.

[sighs] Yeah, I

didn't think so.

[Norah] Mum, Dad,

she's at it again!

[smacks lips] Oh, God...

- I'm taking a stand!

- Jump already!

It's my life, and you

can't control it anymore!

Okay, you're not taking a

stand, you're making a scene.

- She's right.

- I want to help people.

Help the world. The

people of Nepal need me.

What, an ungrateful,

ranting teenager?

I'm a young adult now!

- [screams]

- [tile smashes]

[Cormack] Audrey!

- [crowd applauds and whoops]

- You want a show, do you?

- [applause continues]

- No, no, no. No, no, no.

You've got nothing prepared for

these people. Just come down.

But, Mum, aren't you

always telling me

the world's my stage?

It's "all the world's

a stage". Get it right.

- Shut up!

- You shut up!

- No, you shut up!

- Both of you, shut up!

"Where am I?

- "Fled is the kindly light."

- Really? The Greeks?

"Deep darkness blinds my eyes,

and the sky, buried in gloom,

- "is hidden away."

- Less Blanchett, more Robbie!

- [Audrey] "But see!

- Oh, God...

"With double sun the

day..." [screams]

- [crowd gasps]

- [Cormack] Audrey!

Mum, Dad, help me!

- Help me!

- Where's that f*cking ladder?

[Cormack] Coming!

Bloody thing's stuck.

I don't like it up here!

I wanna get down! [sobs]

[Ronnie] Okay. And we're

gonna get you down, okay?

- But first... first...

- [Audrey whimpering]

you need to practise

your Greeks.

- Okay. Now, honey...

- [Audrey sobbing]

I need you to come a little

bit closer to me and stand up.

Lucinda's putting on

'Medea' this year,

and we need to impress

her and the scouts

with your Cassandra.

Okay, just shuffle along.

You're doing a great job but

I think you can do better.

Audrey, focus.

[breathing deeply]

[Ronnie] Now, it was

a really good start.

But this scene is a warning,

it's a foreshadowing.

Cassandra is saying,

"Beware that the world

you know will change."

Mum, I'm scared.

[Ronnie] And so was Cassandra.

And I want you to

focus on her fear.

Okay? Use it.

[Audrey whimpering]

"Ah, what a fire it is..."

Look out, Joe. Coming through.

"Ah...

"what a fire it is."

Okay, good. More foreboding.

"Ah, what a fire it is!"

"Ah, what a fire it is!"

- What happened with the ladder?

- It got caught on something.

I can't do everything

myself, can I?

[mutters angrily]

Get down. Get off.

Mummy's coming to save you!

"It is she who will k*ll me..."

- [screams]

- [Cormack] Auds!

- Audrey!

- [Audrey screaming]

- [heavy thud]

- [crowd gasps and groans]

Someone order a pizza?

[echoing, indistinct talking]

We won't know more until

we run tests tomorrow,

but, at present,

she's in a coma.

Coma?

[doctor] Yes, I'm afraid so.

But... but you expect

a full recovery?

Audrey has sustained

life-threatening injuries.

It's still touch and go.

Okay, so perhaps

not a full recovery,

but what about a partial one?

Partial?

Be able to speak,

perform a soliloquy?

Put down a self-tape if a

casting director requires one?

Ronnie...

- Eventually, maybe...

- Great.

But right now your daughter

is in a comatose state.

- Right.

- Yep. Ms. Lipsick, it's...

It's Ms. Willis. I

have my own name.

Ms. Willis, I understand

that you're processing

the attempted suicide

of your child...

Er, no, no, no. No, no,

no. It was an accident.

And if she hadn't hit her head

on the g*dd*mn lemon tree,

she would be fine.

I've been meaning

to fix the roof

and that lemon tree,

it just got out of control.

What about her face?

Er, does it look like

she might have

long-term scarring?

What I'm asking is, will

her instrument still work?

- Ms. Willis.

- Yes?

It's important that

we let your daughter

- recover in her own time.

- Sure.

- [doctor] If she recovers.

- Right.

You need to be prepared that

she might not pull through.

[chuckling] Oh...

Okay, then. No, no...

Look... Okay.

I know she'll be fine, Doctor.

This is just what Audrey does.

She immerses herself

in the drama of life.

You see a patient in a coma,

I see an artist

living her truth.

- [light snoring]

- [monitor beeping steadily]

[phone ringing]

What's going on?

[ringing continues]

[Cormack groans]

Uh, hello, Audrey's

phone. Ronnie speaking.

[woman] Hi, I'm

calling in regards

to Lucinda Domotrov's course.

- Can I please speak to Audrey?

- Oh, erm,

she's indisposed right now,

um, but could I take a message?

We need to verify her

ID in person tomorrow.

Oh, I thought we could

just do that on the day.

No. I'm afraid

tomorrow's the deadline.

Okay, no, no... No problem.

- I'm sure we can figure it out.

- Bye.

- [Ronnie] Okay, bye-bye.

- What was that about?

Oh, ID for Lucinda

Domotrov's course.

- Remind me to sort it tonight.

- She's in a coma.

Sure. But who knows what

tomorrow will bring?

They're not even sure if

there's going to be a tomorrow.

- Oh, God!

- Is she dead?

- No, honey.

- Not yet.

Okay. You need a change

of clothes. We all do.

[Cormack] Your mum's

right. Let's go.

Actually, why don't you stay

here? I'll grab you something.

I'd really like to spend

some quality time with Norah.

Okay? So, kiss your

sister goodbye.

I'm good, thanks.

Norah, go on.

Fine.

[kisses]

- Ugh! She tastes like damp!

- And tell her you love her.

- What?!

- That's enough.

I want it on the record that

under no other circumstances

would I ever be caught

dead doing this.

[Ronnie] Noted.

Mum says I have to

tell you I love you.

[monitor beeping steadily]

Thank you. Okay, let's go.

[Norah grunts]

Are you really gonna make

me go to school today

- after what happened?

- [sighs]

You have to go to

school. It's the law.

I'm sure they'd

make an exception,

given the circumstances.

Why are you making

this so hard for me?

My uniform has Audrey

dirt all over it.

Just grab a tissue.

It'll come right off.

I don't even have my schoolbag.

What am I supposed

to do for lunch?

Okay. Here we go.

[schoolboys talking

and snickering]

I'll pick you up on my way

back to the hospital, okay?

Fine.

[Ronnie sighs]

Bye, Mum. Love our

quality time together.

Love you.

- Nice Aldi bag.

- Oh, f*ck off.

[schoolboys laugh]

[Big Pig] All my

life I wanted to fly

- Like a bird...

- Hey.

That you see Way

up in the sky

Making circles In

the morning sun

Flying high in the sky

Till the day is done

I can't break away

Like a child in his fantasy

Punching holes In

the walls of reality

All my life I

wanted to fly

But I don't have the

wings And I wonder why

I can't break away...

[sobbing]

I can't break away.

[song ends]

[sniffles and sobs]

[boy] Excuse me, Miss?

[phone chimes and vibrates]

- [Audrey screaming]

- [upbeat pop song playing]

[cartoon sound effects]

Oi, Duncan.

Ow! [whimpers]

- [students snicker]

- [Duncan] Oh, my eye!

- [teacher] Norah Lipsick?

- Yes, Miss?

[school bell rings]

[Duncan cries]

- [Irene] Norah!

- [Andy] Oh, my God! Oh!

Are you okay?

[Irene] We heard

you maimed Duncan.

Are you gonna get

charged with as*ault?

- Sent to jail?

- What? No.

[Andy] Oh! So stoic.

Oh, just like Audrey.

May she rest in peace.

She's still alive.

[Irene] We want you to know

that we're here for you.

Anything you need.

[Andy] We've never known someone

who knows someone

in a coma before.

[emotionally] It's

really confronting.

And very cool.

- Tell her.

- Tell me what?

We're holding a

memorial for Audrey.

- She's not dead.

- [Andy, weepily] That's right.

And we'd love for you

to be a part of it.

- We're gonna do a dance.

- Me?

Be more authentic. Because

you've got lived experience.

I'm really not sure

that's what lived...

[Max] Hey, Norah.

How are you doing?

I'm headed to see

Audrey. You need a lift?

Uh, window seat?

[Max] Yeah, sure.

[mellow pop music playing]

[music fades out]

[monitor beeping steadily,

ventilator pumping]

[Norah] Have you ever seen

anyone in a coma before?

[Max] I've seen movies.

It's... louder than I expected.

Yeah.

I think it's really

great that you're gonna

- do that memorial.

- She's not...

She really liked

you. You know?

And I'm writing this

song that's about...

how emotionally open I am.

But, like... [exhales]

how many feelings that I...

like, how deeply I... um...

- Feel?

- Yeah.

'Cause I'm feeling

really proud of myself.

You know, like, I'm

choosing not to be defined

as a guy whose

girlfriend is in a coma

'cause I'm so much

more than that.

I'm a poet.

Look, while she's...

incapacitated,

it might be best if you get the

pills straight from the source.

At least for the

next little while.

Sweet.

Why do you take them?

'Cause I'm a traveller, Norah.

I'm a traveller of life.

And I take them so that no

day will ever be the same

as the one before

or the one after it.

'Cause life...

Life's a gamble

and I'm a gambler.

Why do you take them?

I have cerebral palsy.

That's cool.

[Ronnie] "Oh, mystery, misery!

"Again comes on me.

"The terrible labour

of true prophecy,

"dizzying prelude.

"Do you see these who sit

before the house, children,

"like the shape of dreams..."

What you kids up to?

- Oh, just prep work.

- [phone chimes]

Prep work for what?

Oh, Lucinda's very focused

on the... on the classics.

And I don't know if you

noticed, but up on the roof,

Audrey's Cassandra

was all over the shop.

I mean, the problem

with Audrey right now

is that she's

completely in her head.

She's totally disconnected

physically from the work.

- She's still...

- She's in a coma, Ronnie.

[stammers] Don't...

Don't limit her like that.

[Cormack] She's not

doing the course.

No amount of talent

will have her

convincingly playing

alive and happy right now.

Hey, if you want me

to call and explain

why she can't do the

course, then I'll do it...

Her success is my

responsibility.

- [Ronnie sighs]

- [phone chimes]

Oh, I'm sorry, is your comatose

daughter distracting you?

It's nothing.

Do you know what's happening

with the lemon tree?

Does it look like it's

dying or something?

Yeah. I poisoned it.

It tried to k*ll my daughter.

Someone had to do something.

[woman] How old did

you say you were again?

[Ronnie] Uh, 17

and nine months.

Yeah, I graduated last year

and spent, um, 12

months working in Nepal.

With the Nepalese

people. Building houses.

As you can imagine, I got quite

a lot of exposure to the sun.

And... and to the people.

Classes start Monday.

Thank you.

And end scene.

[The Cursors "Helium" playing]

- [heavy thump]

- [tyres screech]

Do you hear that

noise - Oh, sh*t!

- [SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY]

- Coming out of my mouth

You tried to k*ll me!

It's another sound

From another...

- [music stops]

- f*ck...

- f*ck'... [angry muttering]

- Oh, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

Get out of the car!

- I'm on my P-plates.

- What the f*ck...?!

f*ck...

You tried to run me over!

It was an accident.

I'd never run the Lucinda

Domotrov over on purpose.

I didn't think you'd try to

run me over on purpose, either!

Then why are you yelling at me?

[whimpers meekly]

Are you trying to cry?

No, I am crying.

This is me crying.

Stop it.

You're making me feel

very uncomfortable.

But you're a personal

hero of mine.

I mean, your version of

Nick Enright's 'Blackrock'

performed entirely

by kindergarteners

- was amazing!

- Hm.

It's what made me want

to become an actor.

I've signed up for your class.

You're not an actor.

Not yet, anyway.

My class will change that.

[bangs chassis]

[whispers] Yes!

I was you, and no

one blinked an eye.

Not the admin lady, not Lucinda.

And that's craft!

Knowing what drives

your character.

Oh, and Lucinda...

Oof. Meeting her

was life-changing.

And it'll be life-changing

for you too, honey.

[exhales]

You'll be so glad

you didn't give up

on this opportunity, sweetheart.

So glad.

[faint dripping]

Oh!

Ugh!

God, what the...?!

Jesus!

[buzzer beeping]

Nurse. Nurse!

- Cold brew?

- Sounds good.

[glassware clinking]

[Bourke] So, you're a

bit of a one-man band.

Mmm.

[Bourke] Your truck

says "Lipsick and Sons".

Oh, I am the son.

[Bourke] Ah. Makes sense.

Well...

You know... I don't mind

getting my hands dirty.

Same.

And if you ever need a hand...

just give us a bell.

Thank you.

Well, all right.

Flock's waiting.

You're welcome to join

the flock anytime.

[faint chatter]

[door closes]

The universal truth of acting,

becoming an actor,

being an actor, is...

[gasps]

oppression.

But before we can even begin

to confront our oppressors,

I need to know why you're here.

I need to know what drives you,

what your motivation is,

your secret wound.

You.

Careless driver,

why are you here?

Um, to paint a picture

of the world for others.

- Wrong.

- Er, to hold a mirror

- up to society.

- [mimics snoring]

You are just saying

the same thing

using different words,

like a common street mime.

- [students giggling]

- Why are you really here?

Because all the world's a stage.

Arghh!

Boring!

- You!

- I wanna be famous.

At last, honesty!

- To prove them wrong!

- [Lucinda] Who?

My family.

To prove that I'm not a fraud,

that I have talent,

that I'm not a failure.

"I am not a failure,

Mum and Dad!"

[chuckling] Bravo! Bravo!

[students applauding]

We have found your wound.

I am going to break you

down and build you up again

so you can show them

who... you... really... are.

And you are?

Audrey.

[buoyant electric

guitar riff playing]

[Dog whining]

[woman] I keep expecting him

to walk back into the room.

- You know?

- [Bourke] Yes, Pat. We know.

September 11 ruined

so many lives.

[members] Mmm.

Your husband died

in the drive-thru

of Mt Isa Macca's.

It still resonated,

Vince. You know that.

I've said this before. I don't

think it's a comparable loss.

No judgement, Vince.

You know the rules.

Okay, look, we've got

someone new today.

[unsure] Hi, I'm Cormack.

[all] Hi, Cormack.

[Cormack laughs uncomfortably]

[woman coughs]

[whispers] I'm not really sure

what I can contribute.

Everybody's got

something to contribute.

I really don't.

Well, that's a shame.

Is anyone else struggling

with anything today?

- Yeah...

- [woman] Me. Last week, my...

Me!

Me.

[emotionally] It's my family.

They're gone.

[Vince] Gone?

Gone, for a pack of

ciggies gone? Or gone-gone?

[woman] Come on, Vince.

[voice breaking] My daughter

went up on the roof,

and my wife followed her up.

[sniffles] And...

[exhales deeply] I...

I don't know what.

I didn't see 'cause I

was grabbing a ladder.

- [sobbing softly]

- Keep going.

Keep going.

[continues sobbing]

[inhales] She k*lled her.

[sniffling]

My lovely daughter Audrey.

My beautiful Auds.

[members murmur softly]

[inhales] She k*lled her

and then she jumped herself.

[members gasp]

[sobbing] Now I'm all alone.

[deerhoof]

Slow-motion detonation

- Slow-motion detonation...

- [sniffling]

Slow-motion detonation

- We're here for ya.

- Slow-motion detonation...

- [Cormack sobbing]

- Slow-motion detonation...

[inhales deeply] Thank you.

[Lucinda] Like you're hungry.

You haven't had lunch.

[Ronnie] How do you

take your coffee?

[indie boy] Tea, if you have

it. I'm not much of a...

No, scared. You're

in a shopping mall.

You can't see sight

of your child.

How do you take your coffee?!

- [whimpers]

- Tea, if you have it.

I'm not... I'm... I'm not

much of a coffee drinker.

You want him to want your coffee

or he'll die at midnight.

[desperately] How do

you take your coffee?

[stifles chuckle]

Tea, if you have it.

I'm not much of

a coffee drinker.

You need him to

taste your coffee!

He's just m*rder*d his

wife to be with you!

- [boy gasps]

- How do you take your coffee?

[weakly] Tea, if you,

um... have it. I'm...

I'm not much of

a coffee drinker.

He's tasted your coffee.

He's left you at the altar.

You still have this bitter

aftertaste in your mouth. Go.

[whispers] How do

you take your coffee?

Uh, tea, if you... [grunts]

[mumbling] ...have it.

I'm not much of a...

coffee drink...

[whimpering] coffee drinker.

[Bourke] Jimmy and Lori,

you start off together.

Then, Dave, you go and join,

okay? And go easy on the wipes.

- Got it. Thank you.

- Good luck, guys.

[faint indistinct chatter]

[whispers] You're strugglin'.

I'm okay.

No, you're not.

But that's okay.

We need to take the

time to acknowledge

that our lives aren't

always as we wish.

I took the life of someone once.

He was 21.

I was on the drink

for most of the day.

Took a bit of weed

and anything else I

could get my hands on.

Hopped behind the

wheel of a car and...

well, 15 years later...

Loss begets loss.

The trick is, as dead

as your wife may be...

And she is.

Very dead.

[Bourke sighs]

Even in death,

she doesn't need forgiveness.

She needs redemption.

This here...

this is my redemption.

Can I ask you a question?

Sure.

That door.

What...

It's a boutique film studio

with a focus on creating

niche marital A*DS

for Christian couples.

There's a market for that?

[chuckles]

"And the man and his

wife stood naked,

"and they were not ashamed."

Genesis, chapter 2:25.

[upbeat indie rock

music playing]

[Bourke] No, well, that's where

you're f*ck' wrong, Vince.

It's God's patience

that's infinite, not mine!

Yeah, well, f*ck you too!

[huffs]

Oh.

I didn't see you there. I

guess you heard all of that.

Um... not really.

It's too windy.

Nothing carried.

f*ck.

Is everything all right?

Oh, man, it's...

it's the perils of

running a small business.

I'm down a body.

Anything I can do?

Scene 3, take 1

of Esther and King Ahasuerus.

Action.

[man] How beautiful and

pleasant you are, my loved one.

Your stature is

like a palm tree,

and your breasts are

like its clusters.

[coyly] Oh. Hm.

[woman] Oh...

[both gasping]

[both moaning]

I say... I will

climb the palm tree

- and lay hold of its fruits.

- Hm. Mm.

[man] May your breasts

be like clusters...

[deerhoof]

Slow-motion detonation

- Slow-motion detonation...

- [actors moaning]

- [woman squeals]

- Slow-motion detonation...

[Ronnie] And that's what

Lucinda wants from us.

Our truth.

Our authentic self.

Look what I got.

Twinning. [chuckles]

[loud hammering]

What's goin' on?

What does it look

like? Fixing the roof.

[yelling] What is

goin' on over there?!

I'm callin' the police!

You do you, Joe.

Wait till you see the bathroom.

- Try it out.

- [Norah] Try what out?

The door.

- Fixed it.

- [Norah] Oh.

[sighs]

Thanks.

Come on, Norah, you can

do better than that.

I think your dad's

done a fantastic job.

[forced] Gee, thanks, Dad.

I'm so glad I've only had

to wait my entire life

and for my sister

to end up in a coma

in order to get reasonable

and adequate access

to the bathroom.

No worries.

Wow, how did we raise such

glass-half-empty kids, huh?

Mmm.

- Give it another go.

- Come on!

Let's have a go.

["I'll Make You Happy" playing]

- Look at that.

- [The Easybeats] I...

- Aw, beautiful.

- I give

I give you

I give you love...

Summer...

Oh, tan. 'Titanic'!

[all cheer]

Give you kissin'

Just like wine

Does his lip Taste

sweeter than mine?

No, no No, no

No...

- [song ends]

- [phone chimes and vibrates]

[phone chimes and vibrates]

[chatter and

laughter in distance]

[phone whoops]

[phone chimes and vibrates]

[sighs]

[phone chimes and vibrates]

[phone clicks]

[laughs]

[phone clicks]

sh*t.

Hey! What are you up to?

Nothing.

I... was just...

practising for the

vigil for Audrey.

Ah. Show me what ya got.

- Really?

- Yeah. This is my jam, kiddo.

Hit the music.

Okay.

Ooh, and the trick is,

put a little bit of

yourself into it.

- Right?

- Okay.

[laughing] Go!

["I'll Make You Happy" playing]

Yes! Yes!

I love that!

John, I am sorry

you lost your head.

[Divinyls] I...

- [Norah] You mean this is real?

- I give...

- Like, we can afford it?

- Can now.

- You must be Norah.

- Yep, that's me.

We're just about to start

if you want to join us.

I'd love to.

Give you lovin'

All the time

Give you kisses

Just like wine

Do her kisses

Taste like mine?

Oh, no...

- Stab him, honey.

- No, no

I'll make you happy

Just like your

daddy said To me...

What name do you want

on those head shots?

- Oh, Lipsick.

- And how do you spell that?

L-I-P-S-I-C-K.

Audrey Lipsick.

[electric guitar outro playing]

[song ends]

Pat, this is not... Pat,

this is not working.

I mean...

Salome never met

John the Baptist.

So for them to be both

in the spa is just...

It just doesn't ring true.

All right, then.

We're cutting the spa.

Art Department, can you set

up for the banquet, please?

[crew chattering]

[Cormack] I've got an idea.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold

up, everybody. Wait there!

Cormack's got an idea.

[moaning]

Who are you? This

is my personal spa.

- Ohh...

- How did you get in here?

Herod!

My liege!

May I present to you the

head of John the Baptist.

[Herod] The head, you say...

- We'll see you tomorrow.

- See ya!

Tommy, make sure you get

onto that soundie, eh?

- Yep.

- 'Cause the other one was...

Yeah, I wasn't happy

with him. Hey, King.

What's in those tablets you're

takin', they're workin'.

Keeping strong, brother.

[Herod actor] I was

thinking of you, mate.

[laughs]

Hey, Cormack, you

got a minute, man?

Yeah, of course.

Oh, sorry. Your hat.

Nah, it's yours.

You earnt that today.

Thanks.

You know, you should really...

should really think

about directing.

You reckon?

Yeah. Absolutely.

- Really?

- Yeah.

You know, 'cause I've been

writing my own script.

It's only really

rough. But, um...

I'd love to read it.

[intense techno music playing]

Oh, yeah. Take it

off. Take it off.

[both moaning]

[Stace Cadet] Get

on it Get on it

I get on it Get on it

I get on it...

What's going on?

Get on it

I get on it Get on it

I get, I get, I

get I get, I get

On it all night...

- [moaning]

- [Ronnie] There's not enough...

not enough room.

[both moaning]

- Oh, no, we can't, we can't.

- She'll never know.

No, but I think she can

hear us. I saw a doco.

[both moaning]

All right, f*ck it,

f*ck it, f*ck it.

Get on it I get on it

I get, I get, I get...

Oh, yeah!

[heavy panting]

I get on it All

night long...

That was... f*cking...

[both chuckle]

Yeah.

God, you were hard.

Oh, finally.

[exhales] We're back, baby.

When was the last

time we've done that?

With another person in the room.

Jesus, honey.

That's our comatose daughter.

Too much. Too much. Too much.

I mean adult. Invite only.

2006 Logies.

Remember?

Larry.

Oh, man.

- [chuckles]

- Larry loved a chat.

God, we used to be fun.

We still are fun.

I need to tell you something.

Yeah?

You know that job

I've been doing?

- Well, there's this...

- Oh, sh*t!

Yeah, well...

Norah. f*ck. f*ck - Norah!

The vigil! f*ck!

I'm Max.

Uh, we are Only Who-Man.

And, uh, Audrey's

really special to me.

And I want her back.

Audrey, come back to me.

[melodic chord playing]

There once was this girl

You couldn't resist her

A stranger to me

Some even called

her A sister

She had a dream

Where she was queen

And her reign Was

mighty and mean

Not bad for just 17

[shouts] One, two, three, four!

- [heavy metal music blares]

- [screaming] Audrey!

Audrey!

- Audrey!

- [song ends abruptly]

Now please keep the energy

up for our second act -

'The Audrey Please

Don't Die' dancers!

[audience cheering

and applauding]

Whoo!

Go, Norah!

[slow wistful ballad playing]

[#1 Dads] There's no

love In the ground

For me

So I kicked all this earth

Down the stream

I'm just having a hard

Time here

I'm just living without

You here

[Ronnie] You look

beautiful, honey!

[gentle piano chords playing]

[cardboard cut-out clunks]

[gentle vocalising]

[audience whooping]

Wow.

[audience applauding

and whooping]

[song fades out]

You were amazing!

Your mum's right. You were.

Thanks, guys. I was.

And, Mum, thanks

for all your help.

Aw.

My pleasure.

What do you say we go

grab some ice-cream?

If you guys don't mind, there's

an after-party at Irene's.

[teens chattering in distance]

Mmm... yeah.

- Okay. Home by nine.

- Ten.

[Cormack] Deal.

[boy in distance] No, you

k*lled it. You k*lled it.

I love you guys.

I'm sorry, what

did you just say?

- Are you okay?

- I said I love you guys.

I know. I just think we

should honour this moment.

- Right?

- Now you're making it weird.

I've just never heard you say

those words in a sentence.

- Like, the same sentence.

- Whatever.

Well, I love you too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

[Ronnie] You sure it's safe?

Solid craftsmanship,

I'll have you know.

Guaranteed not to

lose another daughter.

It was a joke.

Yeah, no, I... I

know. It's funny.

You just didn't give

me time to respond.

Sorry.

Oh, wow.

[Ronnie exhales]

Cheers.

Cheers.

Didn't Norah look

beautiful up there?

So beautiful.

The whole night...

Been amazing.

Isn't it nice just...

[Cormack] What?

[exhales deeply]

[Cormack] What?

Isn't it nice... just

you, me and Norah?

Is that bad?

I mean, maybe it was all

just meant to be, right?

It's exactly how I feel.

[Ronnie chuckles dryly]

You were so awesome up

there tonight, Norah.

Thanks, Andy.

I know Audrey's

probably looking down,

thinking the same.

I feel for your parents.

What if she ends up in...

[tearfully]... a wheelchair?

Or something?

You know, that's like two

of you in the same family.

They would be so lucky.

I wish I was in a wheelchair.

Uh, excuse me.

- Was it something we said?

- No, not at all.

Ooh. Is that for me?

It's for us.

Oh, wow. It's beautiful.

What is it?

Is it like a, um...

shower squeegee?

[chuckles]

No.

[vibrating]

Oh.

[Cheetah] Bang, bang

Shot full of love

- Bang, bang...

- [Cormack] Oh, yes!

Shot full of love...

[Ronnie] Deeper,

honey. That's it.

[emo music playing faintly]

[pills rattling]

Do you want some?

You don't even

know what they do.

Yeah, that's half the fun.

- Do you love me, Norah?

- What?

I think I could love you.

If you could show me

that you love me...

What about Audrey?

[Max] She never loved me.

And now she's in a coma, I

don't think she ever will.

It does make for a bit of

a one-sided relationship.

Yeah.

You're not in a coma.

That's why I think

you and I might work.

You're beautiful.

Can I touch you?

Please.

[Max] Yeah, how does

that feel? Is that okay?

That feels good.

Hah.

- Oh...

- [Max] Yeah?

[moaning]

- [Max] Yeah, you love me.

- Oh.

- [Max] Yeah.

- [moans]

Bang, bang Shot

full of love...

Side to side.

- Mmm!

- Oh!

Bang, bang Bang, bang

Shot full of love!

[song ends]

I think something's

wrong with the dog.

- [Dog whimpers]

- [Cormack] Huh?

[Ronnie] He's got

a bloody lemon.

[Cormack] What?

Hey, buddy, you right?

Hey, Dog.

- Dog.

- [phone ringing]

Oh, God, he's...

sh*t, he's not breathing.

- Hello?

- Dog?

[pumps hands rapidly]

He's gone.

Okay, we'll be right there.

It's Audrey.

Thank you for showing me that

I deserve to be loved, Norah.

All right, I'm

gonna grab a beer.

Oh.

- Max.

- Mr. Lipsick.

[Cormack grunts]

What's going on?

Um...

It's Audrey.

Let's just get your things.

Is she dead?

No.

Sh... she's alive.

Expected to make

a full recovery.

[screams]

[Alex Cameron sings]

Before too long

The one that you're loving

Will wish that

They'd never met you

Before too long

- He who is nothin'...

- [bell tinkling]

It's your turn.

Will suddenly

Come into view

So let the time

Keep rolling on

It's on my side...

[tinkling continues]

Lonely nights Will

soon be gone...

Hey. What's up?

I'm thirsty.

There's water right there.

Can't reach.

Mum, I'm not an invalid!

I can hold a glass!

Okay. Okay.

- [gags]

- Oh, sh*t.

[Audrey chuckling] Sorry.

[spluttering]

Are you wearing my pants?

[pensive instrumental

music playing]

[bell tinkles]

[Cormack and Ronnie]

Norah, it's your turn!

How?!

[Lucinda] Feel the sun,

feel the sun, feel the sun.

- Breathing. Right there.

- [exhales deeply]

Oh, that is beautiful.

You are all doing

a fantastic job!

[music fades out]

Except for Audrey.

And, darling, nothing

should be as hard

as you're making

me believe it is.

[strains]

[Lucinda] God, no.

No. No. No, no, no, no!

I see a shape, I see a form.

I do not see any content.

Oh, well, maybe I

was wrong about you.

[exhales] Lucinda...

nobody gives a flying f*ck

whether I can be a tree

with feeling or not.

Okay, trust me, it

is not a life skill.

Oh, believe me, it is.

Being able to convince people

that you can play anything -

a tree, an 18th-century shoe -

is vital to your success.

So, yes, Audrey,

convincingly playing

a tree with feeling

is a skill you need to conquer.

Really? Because it's not

gonna make me a better actor.

- [scoffs lightly]

- Or a better person.

Or... or a better

f*cking anything.

And you know why?

Nobody gives a sh*t about trees!

I'm sorry if me not realising

myself as a tree upsets you.

But news flash - this

is all I got left!

This tree is dead!

[Lucinda] Oppressed by

the worst of them all -

- her own self.

- [door closes]

I didn't say stop.

Branches up!

- [sobbing]

- [bell tinkling]

Hey, guys.

We didn't invite you to join us.

I texted you. I thought I could

get a lift home after school.

We think it's best Max

doesn't talk to you anymore.

Not after what happened.

And you've got

wheels - roll 'em.

Hey, I've got this.

You seduced me with your vag*na.

What the f*ck?

You violated him - your

sister's boyfriend.

You crossed a line.

I was in a vulnerable place

emotionally, physically

and, yeah, I'll admit

it, spiritually.

And you knew that and...

you made me touch you.

That's not what happened.

[Max] I guess I

just expected more

from the sister

of a coma victim.

Let's call it what it was -

reverse r*pe.

I'll get there... eventually.

You guys are the f*cking worst.

Don't victim-blame. Be

better than that, Norah.

[shrieks]

- [students gasp]

- Oops.

Oh, you okay?

I think you dislodged

my menstrual cup.

[Norah] It was an accident.

Besides, I did her a favour -

she's always wanted a nose job.

Yeah, well, accident

or no accident,

your father and I

think it might be best,

what, with Audrey's rehab costs

and paying for

Irene's nose surgery,

that we just... we just press

pause on your fencing classes.

God, I wish you weren't my mum.

[bell tinkling]

Oh, f*ck off!

"An evening of slippery,

muscular, throbbing,

"wet, carnal pleasure.

"After all...

"am I not my brother's keeper?

[typing] "The end."

[chuckles softly]

[bell tinkling]

[grunts]

[poignant instrumental

music playing]

[tinkling continues]

Can you take Audrey

to physio tomorrow?

I'm just not sure I'm up for it.

No worries.

[Alex Cameron sings]

I'm pleased to hear

You're coming to visit soon

Yeah, I'm glad to hear

You're coming through...

You okay?

Mm... Tough day.

Me too.

There's a guy who thinks

I'm f*cking his girlfriend

He says he's

gonna Make me cry

But I couldn't get it up

If I wanted to, man...

[bell tinkling]

[tinkling continues]

[sighs] Don't worry about it.

[Audrey] Dad! Ronnie! I

need a glass of water!

[tinkling continues]

[Cormack groans]

I'm sorry.

Do you want me to...

do you want me to...?

Yep.

[fabric rustling]

[bell tinkling]

[Audrey] I'm still waiting!

[Norah] Stop being lazy,

Audrey! I've seen you walk!

[Audrey] Shut up, Norah!

[Norah] No, you shut up!

Oh, hang on. Just

give me a sec.

[sighs]

[vibrating]

[Cormack exhales]

[bell tinkling]

[Audrey] This is neglect!

[sighs]

[Audrey moaning]

[Max gasping] I'm

inside you, Audrey!

- I'm inside you! Oh, yeah...

- [Audrey] Oh...

[Max] Oh, finally I

can feel your love.

Yeah... Oh, now we

can change the world!

[Audrey] Yeah. Whatever.

[Max groans] I love you,

Audrey. Yeah. I love you.

Tell me again, Max. Tell

me how much you love me.

[Max] I love you so much,

more than anything

else in this world.

What the hell is going on here?!

- [Max] Oh, sh*t!

- They're f*cking on my bed.

You - get the f*ck

out of our house!

You hear that? Get the

f*ck out of our house!

- [Max stammers]

- [Ronnie] Come on, Norah.

Audrey is being very nasty

and Max is not a nice boy.

[Cormack] Here's to

your speedy recovery.

So she f*ck Max on my

bed and gets ice-cream?

- Norah, language, please.

- Don't worry, sweetheart.

You get ice-cream too.

[Bourke] Can I have a

vanilla soft-serve sundae

- with a flake inside, please?

- Sure, no worries.

Yeah, can you make sure that's

in a cup? I'm gluten-free.

Uh, we should, um...

find a seat over there.

Way over there,

away from people.

- Strawberry sundae?

- Cormack.

- Dad, that's my ice-cream.

- Cormack!

Cormack?

Oh!

It's so good to see

you! I tried to call.

This is Bourke. You

know, that big job?

The one with the storage

and the cabinets...

We went with dark mahogany. Hm.

Oh, man, I missed you.

I thought that my

Christian porn community

was my redemption,

but I was wrong.

You were.

Oh, you smell so good.

Oh, I'm sorry, but...

are you guys f*cking?

- Yes.

- No.

Right, well, I'm

Ronnie, Cormack's wife.

- Wife?

- Dad's having sex? Disgusting.

- Dad, you're having an affair?

- It's not an affair.

[Bourke] But he told the

Lord that you were dead.

- What?

- Suicide.

What? Why would

you tell somebody

- that I'd k*lled myself?

- [Cormack] No, I didn't.

Because you m*rder*d

your daughter.

- I tried to...

- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

What the actual f*ck?

And you couldn't

handle the shame.

No, no, no. That's not

what I said. Not exactly.

Well, it was strongly implied.

Okay, how many

people have you told?

You do realise that your lies

could totally

decimate my career?

I mean, in the arts

reputation is everything.

So, f*ck you!

[vendor] Vanilla

soft-serve with a flake!

Dad, why would you

tell everyone we died?

That's so messed up.

I didn't, sweetheart. I

never even mentioned you.

[Audrey] Yeah, see?

Even in Dad's little

make-believe world of bullshit,

he still forgets about you.

Why couldn't Mum

m*rder-suicide me too?

What am I, f*cking invisible?

[Ronnie] You're not

invisible, honey!

And to think that I was up

at night, wrestling with

the worry that you were alone

or in pain, and yet you're here

- with a wife that's alive...

- Aha!

And clearly with two

children that are alive!

Dad, this sure as hell

sounds like an affair.

It's not an affair. You

know why it's not an affair?

Because your mum and

I have always had

- an open relationship.

- [Ronnie] Oh, not now, Cormack.

[Cormack] And, yes, there's been

times when we've had threesomes.

- I'm gonna vomit.

- There's been group role play.

- God, stop.

- But there's always been rules.

And I didn't adhere

to those rules.

But that doesn't mean I

don't love you, Ronnie.

[groans in disgust]

You used my tragedy as an

excuse for a trauma-f*ck.

And now you think

it's a good time

to explain your sex life to us?

- We're your children.

- Yeah, you know what?

I'm done. Maybe Bourke can

offer you a bed tonight.

Come on, girls. We're going.

[Audrey snickers]

[whispers] You're pathetic.

[poignant instrumental

music playing]

[Alex Cameron] I'm not

myself I am my mental health

- I'm the latest...

- [bell tinkling]

Popular craze

I'm off the field A

weapon and a shield

That's why you haven't

Seen me in days

You're a peach A

Friday at the beach

I'm a chopstick

Drippin' in mayonnaise

High as a penthouse

- And low as a valet...

- [bell tinkling]

If I have a breakdown

Will you break up with me?

[groans]

If I have a breakdown

Will you break up with me?

I got A mental

health record

[phone pings]

And they traced it

To my family tree...

[phone pings]

If I have a breakdown

Will you break up with me?

Ooh, break up with me...

[sobbing]

[exhales heavily]

- [sobs]

- [song ends]

[knocking on door]

Somebody's in here.

- [banging on door]

- [huffs]

What's your f*cking problem?!

I knew it.

A non-disabled person taking

up space. My f*cking space.

How dare you.

Hang on a second.

Are you trying to act disabled?

It's not my problem you can't

see my disability, okay?

- Hey?

- Oh, wow.

We doin' this?

Bad acting is not a disability.

You are sh*t.

[car pulling up]

[car engine switches off]

Did you see my little video?

Yeah. I did.

[Audrey] It's going viral.

It's pretty cool, hey?

Yeah, well, from the

way you were dancing,

makes me think you still

might have concussion.

So remind me to

make an appointment

- with the doc...

- [bones crunch]

[Audrey] It was in pain

'cause you poisoned

their lemon tree.

[Ronnie] So I guess

you saw I went viral?

[Lucinda] Mm-hm.

Ah, Ronnie...

I know when some people look

at you, they see a monster.

I don't.

Do you know who I see?

Who?

I see Daniel Day-Lewis,

Marlon Brando, Margot Robbie.

All method actors

- just like you.

You think I'm like Margot?

Oh, no, darling.

She's really good.

The point I was making was,

I understand why you

had to become Audrey.

- To preserve your future.

- Mm.

I know some in the media

see you as a deceitful witch

and an evil monster and

a blight on society.

Jesus.

I see a mother

unwilling to sacrifice her only

happiness for her children.

I see a hero.

I had a plan, you know,

and... and I was...

I was doing it.

I graduated from drama school,

got a part on a long-running

soap to gain exposure

and then, after that,

I was gonna concentrate

on small indie films,

looking for that crossover role

which would change

everything for me.

Win an Oscar,

hook up with George Clooney,

f*ck Courteney Cox, Keanu.

But then... kids... [groans]

mortgage and the grind.

[cloyingly] I know,

and you died in the arse.

None of your dreams came true.

[sighs]

And that is why I need you.

No one else can play this

role I am offering you.

Ronnie Willis as Medea!

Don't let Audrey

steal the light.

Take it back from her, Ronnie.

[eerie vocalising]

[Audrey] "Dear everyone,

"I'm sorry for being such

an arsehole my whole life,

"especially to Norah.

"Goodbye forever.

"Love, Audrey."

[eerie vocalising continues]

[whispers] Norah!

f*ck!

She deserves it.

[sabre clatters]

Jesus.

- Come on.

- Shh, shh, shh, shh.

That is not responsible...

- Oh!

- What are you doing?

I saw movement. I thought

someone was breaking in.

No. Norah was trying

to k*ll her sister.

She even wrote a suicide note.

What?

Why?

I just want things to go

back to the way they were

before she made

everything sh*t again.

Maybe Daddy should

sleep inside tonight.

[Ronnie] What?

[sighs deeply]

[announcer on TV]

Our next award is for

the Most Popular Actress

in a Television Series.

The nominees are

Bec Cartwright, 'Home

& Away', Seven Network,

Delta Goodrem,

'Neighbours', Network Ten,

Ronnie Willis, 'Jillaroo',

Nine Network...

- [TV commentary continues]

- [Audrey laughing]

[sighs heavily]

[presenter] Ronnie

Willis for 'Jillaroo'.

[Audrey laughing]

You're not my mum,

and you never will be.

- [applause on TV]

- [Audrey continues laughing]

It's true what they say...

[Audrey laughs]

the view from the top...

is amazing.

[applause on TV]

- Hey.

- Hey.

You wanna sit with

me? Keep me company?

They said it couldn't be done.

- Soap star to mega star.

- Yeah, I'd love to.

But I'm up here tonight...

You were so beautiful.

Look at you.

Proving them wrong.

[Audrey] Time's cruel, isn't it?

Proving you all wrong.

Talent has a name, all right.

[Audrey] This is

my favourite part.

And that name...

is Ronnie Willis!

- [cheering and applause on TV]

- [Audrey chuckles]

Talent has a name, all right.

It's late, Audrey. You

should be in bed, all right?

[Audrey] I think

that's the moment.

[Ronnie] What?

[Audrey] You can

see it in your eyes.

You realised you were a fraud.

[scoffs lightly]

I know what you're trying to do.

You're trying to hurt

me, and that's okay.

What if, like you, back then...

I'm also faking it?

You created me.

Makes sense, don't you think?

What if this pathetic clone

of you is my authentic self

and I'm a monster

who will continue to

destroy your dreams?

What are you gonna do?

[Audrey chortles softly]

I'm gonna take care of you.

Like any good mother would.

[breathing heavily]

[glass shatters]

[gasps]

[breathing shakily]

[eerie vocalising]

[music intensifies]

[music fades out]

[dripping]

[knocking on door]

[Norah] I'll get it!

Oh. It's you.

My r*pe victim.

Your mum invited me.

Oh, so are you here

to finger her too?

- Make it an even few?

- [Ronnie] Uh, no.

He's not here to

finger me, Norah.

I've asked Max to

look after Audrey

while we're at the show tonight.

- Hi, Max.

- [Norah] Well,

Audrey's asleep right now,

so while you're waiting

for her to wake up,

why don't you try

f*cking off and dying?

Okay, okay...

Norah, Norah, Norah.

Please. Try to be nice.

Max is doing us a

favour. Apologies, Max.

- [Max] I told ya.

- [Norah groans] Fine!

d*ck spider.

Ahh. That is amazing.

It's got a little

kick to it, too.

[Ronnie] Yeah, well, when

life gives you lemons...

Just help yourself,

okay? It's...

it really is there

for you to enjoy.

And make sure you

share it with Audrey.

She deserves it.

I've wanted to tell

you as well that, um...

I know you only did

what you did for Audrey.

Yeah, well, sadly,

the rest of the world

doesn't feel that way, Max.

I wrote you something.

Can I play it for you?

Um, sure.

[strums chords on guitar]

Looking someone

In the eye...

- [sighs]

- Saying that you're sorry...

Actually, um, yeah,

that's enough.

Not really my genre.

Kind of wish she'd

stay like that.

Just for a little bit longer.

Asleep?

Harmless.

[chuckles softly]

We gotta go.

- [intense, ominous drumbeat]

- [distorted vocalising]

Curtain up in ten.

I'll be ready.

[exhales nervously]

[drumbeat continues]

[strums chords]

[Audrey groans sleepily]

Finally. I am so f*cking bored.

What are you doing

here? Where's Mum?

Her show's tonight.

Why wasn't I invited?

Well, she asked me to come and

keep a watchful eye over you.

You know I can take

care of myself.

Well, you can, but if I'm here,

then, you know, we can

take care of each other.

You fingered my sister, Max,

and then you told everyone

she assaulted you.

I don't want to f*ck you again.

Well, we all make mistakes.

I mean, at the end

of the day, isn't...

isn't that what makes us human?

Do you want some painkillers?

Relax a little?

[mumbles in agreement]

- That's so good.

- I know.

You know, if there's one

thing your mum can do,

it is make a k*ller lemonade.

[Audrey chuckles softly]

- Do I not suffer?

- [bleating]

Am I not wronged?

Jason leaves me

like a jilted lover.

Taking my empire,

taking my family.

Coward, betrayer, adulterer.

Please. Quiet, woman.

The children can hear you.

Oh, doomed children

of an unloved mother.

- [thunder rumbling]

- [distorted TV]

- [drumbeat continues]

- [distorted TV dialogue]

[groans]

[violent retching]

Oh, my God! What

have you taken?

- [Max] Agh, what's happening?

- What's happening?

What's happening?

What's happening?!

[both screaming]

[distraught] Oh, my God!

What have you taken?

- What have you done?

- [Max choking]

[sobbing]

No! No. No, no, no!

- [whispers] Sweet hemlock.

- [thunder rumbling]

b*tch!

[coughs and gags]

[splutters]

Please forgive me.

Drink the warm milk

your mother has made.

Drink,

for it will help

you sleep, my lambs.

[Audrey wailing]

[Ronnie, voice echoing] I'll

forget I had any children.

I'll leave the crying

for another day.

- [drumbeat continues]

- [melancholy vocalising]

[gasping and groaning]

[Ronnie] Their love will

follow me forever...

[grunts weakly]

[Ronnie] ...just

as my misery will.

[distorted soundscape,

high-pitched squeaking]

[whimpers]

Audrey, are you okay?

Shut up! [ragged gasping]

No, you shut up.

[groaning] No, you shut up.

Why are you always

such a d*ck to me?

[raspy breathing]

Because you got to be yourself.

And you didn't?

[gasps weakly]

- [glass shattering]

- [faint distorted screams]

Where's Mum?

On stage.

What have you done?

Where are the children?

- You m*rder*d them...

- m*rder*d them!

[audience gasping]

[Audrey sobbing uncontrollably]

What wickedness, Medea!

What sorrows you have

caused on this earth!

Audrey.

- [screaming] Answer me...

- [glass cracking]

Answer... [wails]

You will never find them.

[moans] Where are they, woman?

[whispers] I shall never

give up their graves.

How you... [gasping]

a mother...

could lift a sword...

[groans]

to the necks of

your own children.

- Audrey.

- Shh!

To k*ll your... [screams]

- [gasps]

- [Audrey sobs uncontrollably]

They were asleep.

You shouldn't have...

They shouldn't

have felt a thing.

[Audrey sobs]

Why does it hurt so much?

[Ronnie] Hush, my love. Shh.

I have done what a man would do.

What a man would be

honoured for doing.

Call me whatever

names you please.

But this deed is

one of great love

and maternal devotion.

[cast] Medea...

[dissonant electronic

music playing]

[cast] Medea...

[melancholy vocalising]

[audience cheering

and applauding]

[raucous cheering and whistling]

Clap, honey.

- [cheering and applause abate]

- [music fades out]

[Ronnie] m*rder-suicide?

[exhaling]

She was trying to tell

me something that night,

but I just couldn't hear her.

Projection's never

been her strength.

I couldn't... I couldn't hear

my baby's pleas for help.

I thought she'd come to see me.

I thought... I thought

it was an olive branch.

Both of us on stage, together,

performing the classics.

She'd studied Medea as a child.

I'd let her watch me rehearse.

I-I...

I thought it was all a show.

But she must have been

trying to tell me...

tell me about Max.

He was... such a lovely boy.

How... how could he

betray us like this?

We found... weed k*ller...

- Oh.

- And vodka in the lemonade.

Oh, God.

Mixed with some of your

daughter's painkillers.

[exhales]

[tearfully] It's all my fault.

You couldn't have known.

It looked like he'd been

planning this for a while.

Yeah?

Uh, the weed k*ller

and the juicer...

- Oh, God.

- In his car.

And drafts of the

suicide letter.

S... suicide letter?

By Audrey's bed.

In a copy of, uh...

'The Power of Acting'.

[weeping] Her bible.

Mm.

"You had a dream.

"You were a queen.

"Your reign was mighty,

but it's over now.

"We were going to

change the world.

"Now we never will."

It's pretty good.

- Mm.

- [breathes shakily]

They'd talked about

going to Nepal.

[sobs softly]

[gently] Hey.

The world's a broken place

these days, Mrs. Lipsick.

Oh, it's Willis.

My name is Ronnie Audrey Willis.

[rap music playing]

[Loulla, rapping]

Hey, it's the new me

Fresh out the house

Goodbye to old me

I'ma do me Run

the back streets

No sleep Till I

get to the money

Walkin' up a sweat

Till I hit the ground

See me at the top Is

where I can be found

Speak on success Or

don't make a sound

Gimme what I want

Yeah, gimme what I want

Hey I'm back, I'm

back, I'm back

I'm back, I'm

back I'm back

I'm back, I'm back

I'm back to it

I'm back to it

I'm back to it.

[Ronnie] How's it going, love?

[monitor beeping steadily]

[sighs]

[presenter on TV] Are

you ready to rumba?

Ooh, exciting. My ad!

Star on 'Celebrity Dance-Off'.

[Latin music playing on TV]

Also joining us, Ronnie Willis!

I'm doing it for my daughter.

[presenter] Tonight,

7:30, on Seven.

[sighing] We did it, Audrey.

["Groovy" by Barkaa playing]

We finally did it.

I'm a monument You

could never move me

I like when haters talk

Find it real soothing

That's a lullaby

Alibi for groupie

Borderline I'm

a little crazy

Ain't no saints in this

game Yeah, life's made me

Sorry that you can't

Face me, Miss Daisy

Rough start, good heart

Mainstream can't change me

I'm a mad c**t Still

I change my ways

And when I walk in the room

Watch 'em change their face

Move

Get the f*ck out my

way I'm a monument

- You can never move me...

- [bell tinkling]

- [breathing heavily]

- [rapid beeping]

[upbeat pop music playing]

We were just 17

Used to carve out the

numbers From an 8 to a 3

On a fake ID

Now we're 23

Oh, whoa

We were in ecstasy

And the shining

Bright lights

You would dance all

night Just to get to me

Ooh, to get to me

Maybe if you Play

your cards right

Yeah, you might get some

'Cause a stripper don't

care About fragility

Ooh, get the money

Get the money, girl

But then The mining

bubble exploded

Mel Gibson Blamed

the Chinese

So we changed our identity

I still have love in me

I still love you, city!

And I know The

sound of magic

When I talk of you and me

A giant old casino town

A distant memory

And I hope you

grow To understand

That you were all I had

My plastic fake ID

My plastic fake ID

My plastic fake ID

Now I'm in therapy

Got the bills

And the mortgage

And the therapist

says That I got ADD

No fun for me

I've been meditatin'

Just to get my mind back

Two pills in the

morning And ten at night

Just to get to sleep

Don't f*ck with me

Yeah But I still

got a rhythm

I still got a pulse

Almost from the dead I'm

swimming off the coast

I got a hornet in my head

And it's buzzin' tonight

Stinging for the tides

And the disco light

And I know The

sound of magic

When I talk of you and me

A giant old casino town

A distant memory

And I hope you

grow To understand

That you were all I had

My plastic fake ID

My plastic fake ID

My plastic fake ID.

[song fades out]