Dr. Seuss on the Loose (1973)

[GabrielAlejo2341]

The Cat in the Hat...

That's me.

...presents Dr. Seuss on the Loose.

A three-decker consisting of, one, The Sneetches...

...two, The Zax...

...three, Green Eggs and Ham.

Oh, at the edge of each ocean

You'll always find beaches

Beautiful, glorious, florious beaches

When I meander On peacefulish beaches

I frequently find myself thinking of

Sneetches

Snee, Snee

Did you say Sneetches?

Yes, S-N-double-E-T-C-H-E-S
Sneetches

Oh, S-N-double-E-T-C-H-E-S
Sneetches

Now, the Star-Bellied Sneetches had bellies with stars.

But the Plain-Bellied Sneetches had none upon thars.

No stars on their bellies, no stars upon thars.

Now, those stars weren't so big, they were really quite small.

You would think such a thing wouldn't matter at all.

But because they had stars, all the Star-Belly Sneetches would brag.

We're the best kind of Sneetch on the beaches.

With their shoots in the air, they would sniff and they'd snort.

They'd have nothing to do with the Plain-Belly sort.

Ronald, remember, when you are out walking you walk past a Sneetch of that type without talking.

Keep your snoot in the air, and remember to snort.

We have no truck whatever with the Plain-Bellied sort.

When the Star-Bellied children went out to play ball could a Plain-Belly get in the game?

Not at all.

You only could play if your bellies had stars.

And the Plain-Belly children had none upon thars.

Yeah, yeah, your belly's got no star

Twink, twink, twinkle, twinkle, lovely little star

Twink, twink, twinkle, twinkle, stupid little star

If there's one upon your tummy that's just yummy, you're my chummy

If there isn't, you're a crummy, slummy, gummy, bummy, dummy

That applies likewise to your daddy and your mommy

Twink, twink, twinkle, twinkle, lovely little star

Twink, twink, twinkle, twinkle, stupid little star

When the Star-Belly Sneetches had frankfurter roasts or picnics or parties or marshmallow toasts they never invited the Plain-Belly Sneetches.

They left them out cold in the dark of the beaches.

From the heights of Muba Muba

To the gullies of Gazoo

There is nobody else who has one

We're the favorite few who do

And so a toast, raise your marshmallow stick

A toast, raise your good fellow stick

A toast to the glorious gimmick-ick that makes us what we are

Sound off and let the welcome ring

In praise of our exclusive thing

A toast, raise your marshmallow stick

A toast, raise your good fellow stick

A toast to your belly star

They kept them away, never let them come near that's how they treated them year after year.

They got snubbed, they got snooted, their bottoms got booted.

But the Star-Bellied Sneetches all taunted and hooted:

They just are not suited.

No stars upon thars.

Then one day it seems while the Plain-Bellied Sneetches were moping and doping alone on the beaches, just sitting there wishing their bellies had stars a stranger approached in the strangest of cars.

My friends, I have seen they've been treating you mean.

My name is Sylvester McMonkey McBean.

I know precisely why you're so unhappy, and that, I can fix.

I'm the Fix-it-Up Chappie.

My prices are low, and I work with great speed.

And my work is 100 percent guaranteed.

By my new patent process of polar-potoxis of the inner subnuclear noosebomb nogoxis you will get a star like the Star-Bellied Sneetch for the mere paltry payment of $3 each.

A star? Here?

Yes, my friend. There.

And the first to go through gets the trip at half fare.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

It works.

Yeah, it works. It works.

Them over there they got stars upon thars

And we over here we got stars upon ours

We got them also, we got them too

We're every little bitty bit as goody good as you

Now we're socially acceptable at marshmallow toasts

You'll have to send us invitations to your frankfurter roasts

Stars, stars, bless our lucky stars

All the Sneetches on the beaches

Now got stars upon thars

Ladies and gentlemen, we are faced with a most awkward dilemma.

We're the true Star-Bellies.

We had them first.

We're still the best Sneetches, and they're still the worst.

Yeah.

But how are we going to prove it?

Which is which? I can't tell us apart.

Let me through.

Excuse me. Step aside please.

Thank you.

You don't know me, my friends, but calm down if you can.

I'm here to help the original Star-Belly clan.

Those upstarts, it's true, now have stars just like you.

But follow me, my friends, and you'll know what I'll do.

I'll make you again the best Sneetches on the beaches.

And all it will cost you is $10 eaches.

Belly stars, my dear friends, are no longer in style.

And I'll have yours off in a very short while in my wondrous machine which eradicates stars.

Then you won't look like Sneetches who have them on thars.

Eradicates these?

Eradicates these with the greatest of ease...

...provided you pay your 10 bucks, if you please.

Here's 10 for the boy and 10 for me.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

How original.

How distinctive.

How exclusive.

Now we know who is who And there isn't a doubt

The best kind of Sneetches are Sneetches without

The old-fashioned custom of walking about

With stars on your belly is O-U-T, out

Abdominal stars, we cannot abide

Abdominal stars are abominable

Abdominal, abominable

Abdominal stars are abominable

O-U-T, out

O-U-T, out

That old status symbol is O-U-T, out

Then, of course, those with stars all got frightfully mad.

To be wearing a star now was frightfully bad.

Then, of course, old Sylvester McMonkey McBean invited them into his Star-Off Machine.

Thank you. Thank you.

Then, of course, from then on, as you probably guessed things really got into a horrible mess.

All the rest of that day on those wild screaming beaches the Fix-It-Up Chappie kept fixing up Sneetches.

Off again, on again. In again, Out again.

Through the machines, they raced round and about again changing their stars every minute or two.

They kept paying money-

They kept running through until neither the Plain nor the Star-Bellies knew whether this one was that one or that one was this one or which one was what one or what one was who.

Then when every last cent of their money was spent the Fix-It-Up Chappie packed up and he went.

And he laughed as he drove his car up the beach.

They never will learn.

No, you can't teach a Sneetch.

But McBean was quite wrong.

I am happy to say that the Sneetches got really quite smart on that day.

That day they decided that Sneetches are Sneetches and no kind of Sneetch is the best on the beaches.

That day, all the Sneetches forgot about stars and whether they had one or not upon thars.

A toast, raise your marshmallow stick

A toast, raise your good fellow stick

A toast to the silly gimmick-ick that we have here and thar

Sound off and let the welcome ring

"So what?" To your star-spangled thing

A toast, raise your marshmallow stick

A toast, raise your good fellow stick

and poo, poo, poo to your belly star

Oh, beyond the last mountain

The very last mountain

Beyond the last zynica-zanica tree

Beyond the last woomf bush

The very last woomf bush

There is a vaculous, vacant prairie

The prairie of Prax

And the tale of the Zax

One day, making tracks in the prairie of Prax came a North-Going Zax.

A North-Going Zax and a South-Going Zax.

A North-Going Zax and a South-Going Zax.

And it happened that both of them came to a place where they bumped.

There they stood, foot-to-foot, face-to-face.

Look here now.

The North-Going Zax said.

Hey, say, you are blocking my path.

You are right in my way.

I'm a North-Going Zax and I always go north.

Get out of my way now and let me go forth.

Who's in whose way?

Snapped the South-Going Zax.

I always go south making south-going tracks.

So you're in my way.

And I ask you to move and let me go south in my south-going groove.

Then the North-Going Zax said with North-Going pride:

I never have taken a step to one side.

And I'll prove to you that I won't change my ways if I have to keep standing here 59 days.

And I'll prove to you...

Yelled the South-Going Zax.

...that I can stand here in the prairie of Prax for 59 years.

For I live by a rule that I learned as a boy back in South-Going School: Never budge, that's my rule.

Never budge in the least, not an inch to the west, not an inch to the east.

I'll stay here not budging, I can and I will if it makes you and me and the whole world stand still.

Well, of course, the world didn't stand still.

The world grew.

In a couple of years, the new highway came through.

And they built it right over those two stubborn Zax and left them there, standing, unbudged in their tracks.

Oh, I frequently think every now and then

Of the glorious fruit of the noble hen

Eggs, eggs

E-double-G-S, eggs

My knowledge of eggs is tremendously wide

I've eaten them boiled i've eaten them fried

Poached and shirred, deviled and scrambled

Hummeled, shmummeled, cuddled and frammeled

I've eaten them beaten, swizzled and swuzzled

Frizzled, cadizzled, bamboozled and fuzzled

I know every way that an egg can be guzzled

And thinking of eggs, reminds me of Sam

Whose favorite dish is green eggs and ham

I am Sam.

Sam-I-Am.

That Sam-I-Am, that Sam-I-Am, I do not like that Sam-I-Am.

Do you like green eggs and ham?

I do not like them, Sam-I-Am.

I do not like green eggs and ham.

He does not like them, Sam-I-Am

He doesn't like, he doesn't like green eggs and ham

Would you like them here? Or there?

I would not like them here, or there.

I would not like them anywhere.

I do not like green eggs and ham.

I do not like them, Sam-I-Am.

He doesn't like green eggs and ham

He doesn't like 'em

Would you like them in a house?

Would you like them with a mouse?

I would not like them in a house.

I would not like them with a mouse.

I would not like them here or there.

I would not like them anywhere.

Green eggs and ham

He doesn't like green eggs and ham

He doesn't like 'em

He doesn't like green eggs and ham

Would you eat them in a box?

Would you eat them with a fox?

No, not in a box, not with a fox.

Not in a house, not with a mouse.

I would not eat them here or there.

I would not eat them anywhere.

Yuck.

I would not eat green eggs and ham.

I do not like them, Sam-I-Am.

Would you, could you, in a car?

Eat them, eat them, here they are.

I would not, could not in a car.

You may like them, you will see.

You may like them in a tree.

I would not, could not in a tree.

Not in a car, now let me be.

Not in a box, not with a fox, not in a house, not with a mouse.

I would not like them here or there.

I would not like them anywhere.

I do not like green eggs and ham.

I do not like them, Sam-I-Am.

Sam, oh, Sam, oh, Sam-I-Am

He doesn't want 'em, doesn't need 'em

Wouldn't touch 'em, wouldn't eat 'em

Wouldn't like 'em here or there

Or any, any, any anywhere

Anywhere, anywhere

Could you, would you on a train?

No, not on a train, not in a tree, not in a car, Sam, let me be!

Not in a box, not with a fox.

Not with a mouse, not in a house, not here or there, not anywhere.

In the dark? Here in the dark?

Would you, could you in the dark?

Mm, ooh.

I would not, could not in the dark.

Would you, could you in the rain?

I would not, could not in the rain.

Not in the dark, not in a train, not in a car, not in a tree.

I would not like them, Sam, you see.

Would you, could you with a goat?

I would not, could not with a goat.

I will not eat them here or there, I would not eat them anywhere.

Would you, could you on a boat?

I would not, would not on a boat.

I will not, will not with a goat.

Not in the rain, not on a train.

You do not like them, so you say.

Try them, try them, and you may.

Try them, and you may, I say.

Sam, if you will let me be...

...I will try them and you will see.

Mm, ooh. Mm.

Whoo! Say!

I like green eggs and ham.

I do, I like them, Sam-I-Am.

And I would eat them in a boat

And I would eat them with a goat

And I will eat them in the rain

And in the dark and on a train

And in the car and in a tree

They are so good, so good, you see

So I will eat them in a box

And I will eat them with a fox

He will them in a box

And he will eat them with a fox

And he will eat them in a house

And he will eat them with a mouse

And he will eat them here or there

Say, he will eat them anywhere

I do so like green eggs and ham.

Thank you, thank you, Sam-I-Am.