03x02 - Heavy Metal

[bunniefuu]

the edges

inviting me to awake for us in

middlesbrough

so nevermind drove down and other faces

from the past started showing up

faces we hadn't seen in years so

some of them were doing a bit better

than others and the new face

wayne's kid whine

when i was walking through the door we

all wanted to k*ll him but he had a

proposition

he wanted us to pull down this bridge he

met

some fat cat called jeffrey granger who

wore him a feeler

the anti was 10 grand each where would

any of us get that sort of one

even moxie came up with the reddies

that was skinned said come here

persuasion

so

so

he k*lled a bloody bridge right

two years ago they used to build ships

just fall off the tees

couldn't drop the regular bridge i

couldn't get out to sea

still beats me how you swung this dear

lord ah just economics buddy

see greens has consortium put this job

out to tender

high-tech civil engineering companies

well all them

overheads bringing in cranes from the

continent what have you

the lowest court they got was two

million [ __ ] but we're way below that

can we do it yes we can do because we

are lure tech see we're going to pull it

down the same way as i put it up 90

years ago

with pulleys and chains and sweat and

toil where's it going

uh i'm going to chuck the uh far east i

think

malaysia huh the grain you're as good as

told me when we had our dinner

oh hey we should have a four-door

all right excuse me

oh

i take it this partnership is being

formed on a basis of mutual trust

yep well there's no point in formalizing

a relationship

no need to register a company all we

need is a simple letter of agreement

sign value wall equal dibs all the way

around

okay pro rata based on your contribution

to the working capital

not exactly yes exactly and any possible

profit eventual profit

will also be divided

equal sources of the [ __ ] box why didn't

he just say so

right well i get the letter drafted you

can sign up while you're here now all

you need is a local bank account in the

name of your partnership

and you're ready to sign checks we don't

have any

what we're going to call ourselves let's

see what our initial spell

oh

why wait barry oz neville

dennis that's bond very good that's a

good start isn't it

well it's a union coming together yeah

but you're left with

b m and w that's a good name for the car

but we've only got one vole

i feel like count down this isn't it

hang on

what's your real name b*mb oh good thank

you moxie

brian another bee

my middle name's ian if that's any use

dim knob that's gonna look good on a

letterhead isn't it dim knob demolition

look i do have a three o'clock it has to

be pithy and distinctive

a flock of seagulls moxie

okay let's reschedule sleep on her yeah

bridge north

that's good that's good yeah yeah that's

well that's strong that's good

bridge north i like that nerf that's

happening

bridge north hopefully movies even have

our own website

thank you

thank you

so bad

these are quite nice buddy just let us

know where you're getting from the

dividers of german street in london

don't surprise united i do actually

cross the street from the iron mongers

hey

is that a benefactor

how did he handle himself in a nick it

was petrified most of the time

he didn't have that smug look on his

boat race either i found him nice enough

for that dinner but

for the man who's found god his hand did

stray to my wife's

thigh a few times

so what's the order of prayer then what

do you mean

well you're

courtesy of the vendor homes nice one

there taught the looms

office supplies many buses and we'll

need a boat

i suppose it wouldn't be back and

forward across the river

where's the wake forest coming from

overseas overseas alcohol

i'll come yeah because a brit would want

18 poon an hour that's how come

whereas your albanian will settle for a

lot less beginning to sound like buses

army

hey

take the rest of the house in salt

she'll come with me

how are you my friend i'm champion

dennis this is yogi

nice to meet you yogi your goal oh

sure i have to tell you

this not soft job many of my people they

work hope fields or they

pluck chickens not right for this

this needs skilled man engineer

military is this leading up to you

asking me for more money this is leading

up to me ask for more money

we had a deal pal remember now if you

are trying to shuff me

i've still got two weeks to get somebody

else you'll not find someone else you'll

walk through me

how much extra do you want ten thousand

ten thousand knob off

what's up with him he is upset because

you upset

me oh well how upset would he be

if i gave you a slap look as you know

he's got a point i mean he couldn't pull

a bridge don't want more chicken

pluckers

maybe there's some middle ground here

you know i mean hopefully we give you 5

000 pounds now

then if you knock the bridge down within

six weeks we'll give you another 5 000

bonus bye

here's deal your friend

think was his head what is your friend

think with his bollocks

stop [ __ ] you have advanced

it's early very good monday 25th you

have 50 peoples

i can't believe you want to give that

group of slap on the other g*n you can

see it's taken out of his jacket

i'll tell you what that certainly be

said for just driving a mini

cup

oh pet it's me oh how did it go is it

all signed and sailed

hi for better or worse it's for the best

what are the words we never use i'm

broke i'm stressed i'm depressed i'm

too old right do i on your way back

no we're gonna stop over have a bite i

fixed debbie's party

taking the back room at guidos have a

disco

hello what will we just say fine

fine champagne limousines ecstasy

whatever

this place gives me the creeps

everything automated

whatever happened to people yeah could

one of you pay for us

i don't have a credit card i'll give you

the cash though

cheers

maybe there's a lot of the old in and

out in a place like this yeah

in and out in half an hour

yeah i'm not staying here

there's no room service

is this yours a laptop all right

doing computer skills in the nick

because you see

there's no source you'll bury us inside

my space dead people kind of tell your

accent in the chat room

and i'm glad to hear you lord someone

inside

did carpentry or not

see that lovely table over there with a

bally twist leg on it will you make that

no no but it's nice isn't it

listen again how's your boat we'll go

over to newcastle tomorrow

we'll pack all your things and come back

over here and you can stay here with me

as long as you like

everybody seems to be doing me favors

look i've told you man i can't bear you

back going fed about the money then man

we've told you

you won't oh it just comes off your

whack at the end

and being here with me has got to be

better than the way you've been living

recently hey i wasn't destitute you know

oh well you're not no

uh den den den you of do that in here

sir

smoke-free zone if you want to lay down

you got the g*n in the garden

yes bollocks it's hard to get used to

the new laws lads now and you the old

one turned up when you lamp that

flipping dealer

they live with jekyll and hydeman dennis

said you named your baby after ally

mcbeal

well brenda did isn't he the manager of

dundee united

right hopes for a bit more romanian red

yeah oh thanks us dodgy stomach it's

probably this wine

i'll be glad when i've had enough cheers

mate

oh just just a touch sauce i love it

but i don't drink much wine at home no

no tatty tatiana's tip was a

cranberry installer what happened to

your ears

oh

yes you left me yeah i actually did this

open university course and uh

well actually got caught up in that

whole movement that confused

emancipation and liberation with uh

sleeping with other women

never but you never let your watch

i always wondered why she was such a

melissa etheridge fan

ah she moved in with an aroma therapist

from solid hall

actually i saw her a year back as she

was trying to change the rear tyre on

the hard shoulder on the m6

that's how i tooled up in the bentley

of course she had absolutely no inkling

of our you know rich and successful i've

become in the meantime

what did she say well she just stared at

me

in also disbelief would you have to

change the wheeling uh pig off and i was

pissing down

now i just said well well world heisel

that'll chase you for being a l*sbian

with two ex-wives me call the kids i

never hear from me

it's mike debbie's 18th next week having

a big thrash

hey do you want me to spin for it how do

you mean that's what he does a bad man

he's a turntablist

a mix maester he's a dj

through records huh all right great well

i'm i'm off down london at the weekend

i'll bring some records back

bit garage but hip-hop bit of reggae you

know what i'm saying fantastic hey

she'd be over the moon i'm surprised

that you let him do this amongst your

daughter's pals

if he's anything like his father is that

what you orchid yeah

a chip off the old block well i mean i'm

not desperate

let them come to you that's what your

father told me

you're allowed to put wyoming's ears

isn't he yours

rod wasn't it it was

he still is oh another kid never came to

see us once when i was in the jail you

know

i think i got one letter took his

mother's side

did he yeah well i can't blame him

not in the house dinner

oh it's good to see it

there jeffrey mr taylor how are you

very well jeffrey thank you good and uh

and these are the chaps of your

partners good good to meet you i'm

jeffrey granger

hello and this is dan calhoun

our structural engineer how you doing

champion so whenever the original plans

worked out a dismantling sequence

have you as much experience in this line

of work

not exactly on this scale well if you

don't dismantle in the proper order

you're on the risk of creating sectional

stress

obviously the end up with the entire

fabrication toppler than the river

that'll cut a few corners yeah

why don't you talk us through the whole

procedure

so which one of you is the gaffer that

will be dennis he's he's worked on

bridges all over

there's a bit of a problem with the

sauce but then he's irish

well he won't be pulling the rivets out

himself

exactly look we're going to make a bit

of a thing

of the last ride the last trip across

the river

tony will almost certainly be coming up

tony blair

well his constituency is only up the

road after all he'll bring a couple of

cabinet cronies lord wolfdale will be

here the marquis of londonderry

anton deck anyway we thought you people

in some way should be represented ah

jeffrey i'd be delighted and i hope

you'll bring your lady wife

she'd certainly grace the occasion oh

man she'll be thrilled good job

well my stomach tells me it's lunch

sarah see if you can find a restaurant

with three chef's

that's remotely possible in this neck of

the woods

this man moxie robbed me

he took some private papers along with

the cash

i want it all back so mr platt

how do you feel about k*lling i'm a

chummy roller supporter

brought up in the shadow of liverpool

and everton makes you feel like a poor

relation

country cousin leaves you resentful

full of spite was that a yes

i'll start with his gaffe we tore it

apart with him with dancing laundry and

bootleg videos

you got lucky didn't you my dear good

job this

nice dress better than working in a

sweatshop eh

don't worry i'll look after you

i'd pay for that or myself i'll be

praying for her soon enough

those brothers of hers are very

protective yeah

well the ogre's got a big job on up in

middlesbrough

you make sure that on it

i want to take the first rivet out with

this sucker

oh yeah i can't

done hates me man i'm gonna have the

granddaughters oh my den

you can see what future is from up here

all right

would you see yourself

in a better place

is that metaphorically

if you like

i'm taking steps so i'm uh i'm seeing me

larry tonight yeah hi well i rang the

mother

got a phone number

we've got some bridges to build there

yet

is that another metaphor

thick and fast they did then

oh hey i've got a g*n down man

hold on

you look good in that level

very mature

thanks

oh it's yeah that's you there

more than ev

who's the toddy

this is me laureen just come down to set

up the office uh lorraine this is dennis

always oh yeah

hello

yeah you might want to think twice about

wearing that skirt when the workforce

arrived but really that was always like

this good

it's always asking me to wear it

i'll go fetch that other box from the

car

right

i'm amazed brainer allows that to

slither in your office yeah she's very

good at what she does all right

what's happening

bishop

you know

answers the phones oh she's well

qualified

so

so

mrs greenland's not been in today

of course she did

she leave at four o'clock

how can you make this much mess in two

hours

hey buddy chill mellow out

how was your business in the north oh

thank you

how's our business managing all right

without me oh there's no problems

14 tons we shifted this week bucket

soups kidney and steak

how you say pie pie pine tins yes

want to drink

oh no

too early for me thanks cat

my sister upstairs

she make herself beautiful just for you

ah

yes i don't believe

you leave me alone you come home

straight up you're on my back no no i'm

not i'm not baby so i'm sorry no

sorry about it it's me i'm

tired

harlow

anyway i've got you an invite

we're going to be doing this last ride

across the river bit of a pr thing

you want me to go to

what is this place middlesbrough

i think not thank you

wow this is going to be uh very tough

draw tatiana all sorts out of stars pop

stars

the prime minister

i have nothing to wear

i'm sure you'll solve that problem baby

anyway there'll probably be a bit of a

do afterwards

you know banquets in halls

speeches

lots of press and stuff why did you come

up for a couple of days i

meet the boys i've told them all about

you

oh

where'd you get this stuff right

cool

boots

it's my herbal laxative

ah bloody hell

i'll have a runny nose for dice

all right

yeah yeah fine

where's this party then not far

i've told me i bought up london's top dj

especially oh she was impressed i hope

it's the truth not really

don't tell her that i've got a lot of

points from this

because usually she thinks of me as the

uncoolest person on the planet

just here

yeah you've got these

let's get out of here why what's wrong

with it oh be fine if you're planning to

top yourself when i stop at hotel i like

to go into the bar have a drink in a

chat

i can't talk to a vending machine i

quite like it it reminds me of sweden

how are you in sweden never but just

imagine it's like this you know fully

automated labor-saving

nice soap

let's go down the pub

okay

there you are

all right

hi

how are you doing son not bad

can i get your drink

um can i have a glass of yogurt please

cheers

that's a rioja

it's a shell over

come here sometimes

yes

so i spoke to your mother

do you see my job

yeah went over there a couple of weeks

ago

i wish is she

happy

she's all right

she's got a blog

you've got a job

makes a laugh

what about yourself what are you up to

me i'm a singer right

yeah i think

i've been doing the clubs in that i had

a few gigs well that's

fantastic singing

hello come along and see you sometime

oh you don't have to feel obliged

it's not a question of feeling obliged

but

look good is a bit of slack yeah

i know i've not been the world's

greatest father but

maybe there's a weird makeup for that i

don't have to

i've got my own life i'm doing

absolutely fine

listen son

i'm not proud of the person that i was

not proud of going to jail

or being the kind of husband that i was

to your mother but people can't change

you know

look i don't get hammered anymore i live

in the country

i've got new tooth look

and i've got a big

big scheme going down could make a real

difference

difference to who

well i'd like to think to all of us even

if it's only just one look

i don't need anything from your dad

you used to

when you were a kid

yeah can you remember neville who went

to germany

well his daughter's having a party

tonight disco a bit of a knees up

do you want to come

gonna be a stack of toddy what loads of

little wannabes in mini skirts and

mascara

guaranteed ah

thanks but i've i've got a date

ah well let's

it's pity

you know when you're uh when you're

singing

what name do you use like professionally

raw does

this is her brother

caddy they drove up together from Droid

we show having a bit of an noise oh well

I'm sorry I thought you would have

finished your beard by now okay you talk

business we go outside have cigarette no

you don't need a b man no no it's

okay can't

belong nice to meet

you richy place so but well there's no

point depriving yourself have a Brandy

no thanks no problems I hope

we've had to dip into the kitty a bit

more than I'd planned and the lia's

coming at a bit more than I'd budgeted

for and the

insurance and this guy kahun the partty

say on your PE rooll of Wars yours

surely you never mentioned that I said

you'd need a technical trap and I

assumed you'd factored that

in well how far over are we oh we'll be

all right as soon as we get the big

Advance which means that we need to p on

the button Jeffrey end of week one well

that's not entirely up to

me that was the deal end of week one

look oh boy you're worrying

unnecessarily we should be celebrating

we've come a long way since our first

little chat in the prison laundry we

shared her vision and tomorrow that

Vision becomes a reality that's right go

on o have something I recommend the

creme Brew Li is absolutely busting no

thanks rather just get yourself a bag of

chips on the way home buddy

ever

[Music]

[Music]

I

L they

[Music]

here

look morning Yogo how are you today

good bisy bishy

bishy

what was all that about they hate each

other oh here all of this one hatte all

of this one this one are Co on this one

our

servs Christ two years ago they were at

w*r with each other that's right k*ll

each other Baron Villages there is still

much anger and this is our bloody

Workforce it's worse than olster they a

blood bath do you think we're idiots we

figured that out man the sys are going

to be one side of the river the covans

on the

other

it's going to be hard keeping the lid on

this we've all heard enough horror

stories about the serbs the albanians

are just as bad DN it I thought they

were

covans most cumans are albanians they

are Bandits over there man descended

from Bandits you can tell by the way

they comeing the pub can't you trying to

take advantage of the natural cover well

we just have to me you to stay on our

own sides of the river that's all well

it's easy enough we can have the covans

support in the butter and the serbs can

support harly P United let's hope they

never meet in the

cup

sorry I have to keep popping off fellas

only Tatiana wants to get home Tuesday

she has a tire woman walk on her back

when did you actually get married Buddy

it was only a year ago I was content

with the status quo but she wanted it

course she's got a British passport now

all right yeah we had a nice little

ceremony at D registry office bit of a

do at home and we jeted off to pter

night for a few days a look like you met

a brother first didn't you yes we were

business partners that's how I met her I

thought I told you all this oh we must

have just forgotten then all all right

we you for the

meat bu go

now

I take it this wasn't a brotherly kiss

maybe's Z your from Kentucky you

couldn't have SE very clearly then man

arm almost fell out with him in the

corridor he had his tongue down the

throat and his hand up at

us why didn't you tell

him well how do you tell her look his

wife's having it a away with a

brother

[Music]

H yeah know where would you go I have

somewhere they'll find you they always

do he's not from around a well the bike

was stitched to 200 yard away he's not

local we know everyone but there's a sow

of extra people on the bridge

jobling so do I get across the river we

ago you could have got the transporter

you'll have to drive the long way around

now night

[Music]

Neville

[Music]

come

in

sorry I'm looking for my

brothers they work on the

bridge are they Ser Covan Covan well

you're on the right side of the river at

least well they're stopping not far

away I could give you a

lift

oh

no you know he's come for

me this is private property what do you

want he wants me go

go

[Music]

for foreign

fore

friend your peoples piss me off it's not

your business how my peoples live that's

my business the place is bog awful it's

a disgrace you're exploiting these poor

b*stards he know how this work we make

flight

deal they do a good job or no yeah

they're working F British do

better British cost more you people are

peace brain

amateurs how much extra will it cost us

to find us some better digs a lot well

may be Gres people would chip in I mean

they're not going to want the press to

think they're exploiting foreign workers

Jesus

living in cuckoo land firstly it's not

foreign labour son it's black and

secondly use bunch of the contractors

here the hammersham outfit's got no

moral or fiscal responsibility in this

matter

that looks right you're a bunch of

bloody hammers

well what are you looking at me for

i told you at the beginning we are the

governors on this one and i went out and

shot their own and got the best deal

what i could

i mean maybe they got this

it wasn't so long ago that we weren't

these fellows are living like we were in

germany believe me our hunt was luxury

compared to the squalor they're trying

to live in

we've at least got to find a half decent

place for this last to move to

well she can stay on our motel

it feels quite albanian to me or maybe

you could take a home nerve yeah i'm

sure brenda would understand sod awful

all right all right don't let this thing

get personal look you just tell me what

you all want to do because it comes out

of our wedge

go out alone and see your power granger

maybe he'll make one halfway

hey

this bloke who's looking for the skirt

nev

did he have a liverpool accent

cheers

what we're trying to do is get you all

better digs

but in the meantime we're going to chip

in get your sister somewhere because she

can't get down with 20 blogs

i don't think they got half of that

we get you hotel

with friends

hey what's wrong i think i've got a hole

in the wrong under the stick oh no all

above board no strings i'm a grandfather

i told him you're good people we can

trust

i'm glad we got that sorted i'm bursting

for a leak

fine

it's not here

i didn't think it was

let's go

wow

across the river

village called marston

no way

i'm claustrophobic honest i'll be sick

all over your spare it's friends

well i can't go back to the board with a

begging bowl because your workforce

don't have room service they're

albanians for god's sake i went there

once on a parliamentary junket they had

a banner across the main street in

tirana translated it meant glory to our

potatoes

so what is that proof well these people

aren't used to finding things of life

they're not expecting shower caps and

bitter mints on the pillow

all the lads feel bad

look anything extra can come off our big

pier dear yeah

yeah um

your big payday is conditional on the

sale of the bridge right

and

well there may there may be a wrinkle in

that area there's been a bit of

backsliding for mama and asian friends

what are you seeing jeffrey

well the chat we were dealing with is

suddenly out of favor it's all very

political it's not untypical of that

part of the world

given the catastrophic possibility that

this is true

what am i supposed to do with a billion

tons of bridge

well

scrap

scrap

we're taking a downed piece by a piece

stacking it in sections and numbering it

because it's supposed to be rebuilt if

it was for scrap

we could have ripped it down by now

forgot circles nothing's in stone i was

just hoisting up south cone about you

increasing your capital expenditure

we're still talking

my team

put a savings into this deal

everything they've got most of them you

better be talking jeffrey or else i'll

hoist the south corn right up your a*s

hey what am i doing who's on the first

floor lifts over there thank you thank

all of you

good night good night sweet dreams

actually i'll get down as well see you

in the morning just a minute you

well

why haven't you told us moxie

how do you mean well you weren't mugged

you're still wearing your watch

it's only a timex it's one of the people

that's after you

called up in

well whoever he was where did he go i

was unconscious i've got no idea

so

i tell ya the way i see a crossbow i'm

out

yes

yes

oh no yes

three times more money

i

why

you