02x09 - The Rise and Fall of the Big Dog

[bunniefuu]

This sea sure is beautiful, eh, pal?I

mean, think of the great independent

minds that made this country possible.

Hey, man. Got any food?

No, I ain't got any food.

Just a little slice of chicken. Look, I'm

a dog. I ain't got nothing.

See. No pockets. Oh,

one or two bracelets. Man, that's

all I ask. Why don't you leave us alone?

Look, buddy, I've got a disease.

I think we better go. Shut

up. You know, if you don't get out of

here and leave us alone, I'll cite you

for misspelling. Hey, I

don't come into your home and say nasty

stuff, do you?Home. What are you

talking about?Public property.

I'll bust

your nose. Yikes.

Good gravy. Where are your clothes?I tell

you, you couldn't find your head with

both hands without me. Yo, you

too. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Come

here. The ambassador has to speak

tonight. Take him up back and get them

dressed. Go. It's clicking.

Man, I am so sorry this happened.

I wish they'd keep those USC graduates

off the streets. Who are you?

Why?I'm your best friend.

I don't know you. Wait, what do you

mean you don't know me?Don't you remember?

We were in the w*r together. But

everything's very hazy.

Remember the little gremlins that busted

out of the control panel and started

chewing on your ears like gum?I had to

beat them off you with a baseball bat. It

took hours. Remember?Remember

now?

Don't worry, pal. I'll shake your basket,

Goose.

Uh, there you are. Listen, show a little

affection this time. They don't want

people to think they're cold.

Oh, you're an animal. Oh, there's the

first lady. I've got two first.

Hi, honey. First things first, we've got

to get rid of these.

Whoa, you look smooth.

See, I told you these things are no good.

They cut off oxygen to your hair

follicles. How is every little soon?

Wonderful. Just wonderful. Never

better. Super. Good to see ya. Hey,

Mister, will you play with me?

Please.

One good whack and you'll have total

recall.

Getting a craving for your favorite

hydrant?Getting

hungry for some corn?

Come on, doggy. Wanna go for a walk?

I am not an animal. I am a

politician. Giddy up.

Sweetie, don't kick the ambassador. Don't

bully. He's a jamba's children. Oh,

right. So is the president. Hey,

this is great. Come on, kids. Find the

money in Uncle President's coat. That's

it. Don't be afraid.

Pal, I know what'll do the trick.

All we need is a little dog juice in you

and you'll be back to normal.

Come in. Get in, boys.

Yuck. This looks like monkey bars.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm pleased to

introduce tonight's speaker, Foreign

Ambassador Fido.

During the holidays, when vacations

are in turn, it's a good time to

vacation from yourself. Of

course, you cannot vacate your body

and go off somewhere, but you can alter

your mind and frame of living so that

for well-grounded purposes, you will be

taking a vacation from

yourself. Here are some of my

suggestions.

OK, grab that tree and start

shaking.

Higher. Hey, it's

working.

Oh, my. I

remember. I'm a renowned

foreign ambassador.

They can. It's getting worse.

Quick. Right in front of that truck. So

in closing, I say drop

all cares and worries about

politics, business, and the foreign

situation. You will be

astonished to find the world will manage

to struggle on somehow. Take

a vacation from

yourself. Vulnerable

thought, world peace at last.

What you trying to do?Put everyone out of

luck?Hey, Mr. Put socks

on your back.

Daddy, the ambassador k*lled socks. Do

you think that's mean?I don't know. I

think I have to get back with you on

that. Let me check with your mother. No,

you be a man and kick that jerk

out. My

little babies. Hey. What's the matter

with you, huhYou smash them with

puppies. OK, pal, get off the hood.

Yeah. All right, if this doesn't do the

trick, nothing will.

Steady. Steady. Go.

I'm hungry. Buddy. Come on,

pal. Let's go mark some foreign

territory. OK.

Hey, man, you got any food?

Look, I ain't got nothing. I'm

a dog.