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01x12 - Far-Out Friday/Let's Make a Right Price

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "2 Stupid Dogs". Aired: September 5, 1993 – February 13, 1995.*
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Show is about two unnamed dogs—neither of whom, as the title states, is very intelligent—and their everyday misadventures.

01x12 - Far-Out Friday/Let's Make a Right Price

Post by bunniefuu »

Today, two stupid dogs encounter

something they've never seen before, only

bigger. Hey, did you

say something?Love is the only chance for

happiness you'll ever get in this life.

No. And on the super secret secret

squirrel.

Maybe he needs a mate.

Things I do for my country.

Two Super Dogs!

Two Super Dogs! Two Super Dogs!

Hooray! Hooray! The cat is gone! It's

gone! It's gone! And I'm still

here! Yeah! Yeah Oh

yeah!

Man, I wish I could scare cats just like

you. I wish I could dance like

you. I wish I could eat like you.

I wish I could talk fast like you.

I wish I could be you.

Did you feel something?Nope.

Okay. Cat!

Woof!

Hooray! Hooray!

God is the cat!

No cat! No cat!

I'm still here. Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Where's the food?Food!

Follow me.

Hey, no shoes.

Hey.

There.

Low bridge.

Huh

A cubby cleanup on aisle five.

HuhEee.

I want to do that.

Hey, push me. Push me!

Okay.

Faster! Faster!

And there you go. A clean

store is a friendly store.

Cubby, clean up on aisle five.

Oopsie.

Faster, faster, faster.

Try two Uncle Winky turkey fingers.

They're gobbly good.

Hello, Assure. Have some Uncle Winky

turkey fingers.

Turkeys.

Yeah.

Whoa!

oh

Whoa! You go

there?

Ta-da! No!

No

Wow-wee! That was a very

close one.

Cubby, clean up in aisle five. Now!

I can't move! Get off me! You're

too big! I'm not big.

Yes, you are. Hey, and you're small.

Hey, did you say something?

Food.

Corn!

Cubby! Clean up! Aisle 5! Now!

Where is that kid?

Hey, we'll catch up to Secret Squirrel

after this. Super secret

secret squirrel back in business. It's

warp time. The rogue panda! Run

for your lives!

Put that back! Put that back!

Hold it right there, Bear. Oh! Secret

screw in maracamol?

Okay, Wonton, you pesky panda.

This can go two ways, easy or

hard. Wonton Cho!

All right, tons of fun. Let's settle this

your way. Hi-ya!

Stop. This panda is an endangered

species. Any mistreatment is strictly

forbidden by international covenants. Uh,

what should I do?Do your job, man. It's

crucial to the welfare of society that

this menace be stopped at all costs.

Just don't hurt him. Carry on.

Secret, are you all right?

I may need some help on this one.

What's the password?Rocky

Road. With sprinkles.

Well, no. Secret. What brings you to our

little shop, hmmI've got to battle this

panda bear, but I say no

more. I've got just the things.

Attention, super secret shoppers. Tag

special on aisle four. 40% off our

entire stock of radioactive seltzer

water. You may need one of these.

This is the latest in flame-throwing

fashion eyewear. Cool.

Ah, here we are. Just the thing for your

little problem. But that looks like an

ordinary tennis shoe. Precisely.

But watch what happens when I place it

next to this simulated enemy.

I'll take two. One for each foot.

Glad we could be of service. Would you

like that gift wrapped?But

secret. Don't you remember what the chief

said?The panda is an endangered

species. You're not allowed to harm him

in any way. You're right, Morocco.

I guess I just got caught up in the

thrill of all this potentially

destructive force. You got anything I can

hit him with that won't harm him?HmmLet's

see. Oh, how about this?

Airline pillow. Great! What's it do?Hmm,

nothing really. But it's soft,

and it fits in most overhead

compartments. Ah

Everybody, oh God!

I still say what that menace needs is a

good spanking. Oh, secret.

Maybe he's just misunderstood it. Of

course. Why didn't I think of thisearlier?

Psychology in a can.

It's obviously a self-esteem issue,

possibly an ego conflict, some

passive-aggressive resolution, which

leads to a fear of intimacy and a

pathological unwillingness to commit.

I understand your pain, but there is hope

through therapy. What does this remind

you of?

Is my Freudian slip showing?

Thanks, I needed that. Any other

suggestions?Maybe he needs a

mate.

The things I do for my country.

That a girl's secret. Maybe he just needs

some affection. Maybe he needs a

hug. Maybe he's

got a thorn in his paw.

Maybe he's just a jerk.

I'll fix that

lardo's wagon right after I bust it

up a little. No secret. You

can't. He's an endangered species. He's

protected it.

Oopsie.

Excuse me, one ton?What do you want?

Web?Oh, nothing at all. I'm just here

to protect you. I'll just hang out

up here so I can spot any approaching

danger.

I shall dutifully scan the far horizon

for your protection.

Your safety is in my hands.

Your precious well-being is my total

concern.

No, sir, nothing to worry about. Oh, my!

Now look what you've gone and done to

yourself.

I'm afraid I'll have to place you under

protective company for endangering an

endangered species.

Oh, secret, you're so good.

Enchanter, too. Excellent work,

Secret. Not only are the streets safe

again for decent folks, but our ticket

sales are up 30%.

Two stupid dogs. Got a break.

Now on with the show.

From Hollywood, USA, it's time to play

Let's Make a Right Prize, the really,

really easy game show where there's

absolutely no math required. And now

our Let's Make a Right Prize host, Bill

Baker. Thank you,

folks. Thank you. Johnny, who's our next

lucky contestant on Let's Make a Right

Prize?Well, Bill, it's

Dog. Come on down. You're the

next contestant on Let's Make a Right

Prize. We're a contestant. We're a

contestant. What's a contestant?

I don't know. Hey, I said come

on down.

Hi, Bill. Hi, dog. Tell us about

yourselves.

What?Uh, skip it.

Johnny, what have you got for today's

contestants?Besides the

fabulous prizes for the winners, today's

losers get a lifetime supply of Granny's

Joybone doggy treats.

She's pretty. Johnny,

what's our first item up for bid?Well,

Bill, it's a beautiful Oriental

rug hand woven of pure Dacron.

OK, let's start the bidding with

dog $1.00

neat. Oh gosh, Bill,

I'm going to say





And the actual retail price is...

$1,206.50. It's a

tie. You two cancel

each other out. And the winner is Dog.

We won! Yeah!

Where's the doggy treats?

Don't be silly. The doggy treats are for

the losers. You get the rug.

Let's play the all you have to do is not

go over game. Simply bid on

these common supermarket items without

going over and you win them all. Johnny,

start the clock. A set of three

radial tires. One

dollar. A solid

pewter plumber's helper. One

dollar. A priceless

masterpiece. One dollar. A

luxury rainbow wig! One

dollar! A lifetime supply of Granny's

Joyful Doggy Treats! Yeah, one

dollar!

Time's up! Ooh,

you've overbid on the doggy treats.

They're only 99 cents. But you've

won everything else!

We'll be back to spin the wheel for the

showcase after this important

message. OK,

at last. I've got you right where I want

you, secret squirrel. Heck hell,

you fiend. Oh, what's he going

to do, secret?Fret not, Morocco. I know

what will stop him. Oh,

Granny's Joy Bone Doggy Treats.

Yum. Bark!

Woof, woof! Bark, okay?Here, boy.

Fetch!

Granny's Joy Bone Doggy Treats.

Welcome back, everybody. It's showcase

time. The one who spends closest to a

dollar without going over wins

this fabulous prize. A

brand-new card!

Let's give our two losers one more

try. Your First Lady

loser...



Oh, that's going to be mighty tough to

beat.



Tough luck, lady. Have some doggy treats.

Gee, thanks.

For our final contestant to win the car,

he'll have to spend better than 96

cents. But I don't want the car.

I want the doggy treats. Ooh,

better stay away from that one, zero,

zero. One dollar takes the car.

Here we go!

Will it be one dollar?

No!

Did I lose?

Yeah, I lose! Doggy treats, doggy treats!

Oh, you need it from my head to my feet.

I'll come. Oh!

You cheated.

You get the car.

Sorry, Bob.

Congratulations. Drive safely. And

remember, help control our pet

population. Have your animals spayed

or neutered.

Bye-bye, everybody.

Bye-bye.

Okay, dogs, here comes a break.