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01x11 - Stunt Dogs/Return of Red

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "2 Stupid Dogs". Aired: September 5, 1993 – February 13, 1995.*
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Show is about two unnamed dogs—neither of whom, as the title states, is very intelligent—and their everyday misadventures.

01x11 - Stunt Dogs/Return of Red

Post by bunniefuu »

Today, two stupid dogs take a stand

against television violence.

Just let me out of my calm

and on the super secret secret squirrel

secret. Are you all right? I

can't see Morocco.

Okay, we want to look good so we get

the free dog food. So smile real big.

Suck in your stomach. And fix your hair.

Perfect. Now fix me up.

Okay.

There. Thanks.

My pleasure. Now,

which store for the free food?Which one?

Which one? Which one? Which

one? One? Are

you sure? Nope.

Okay, let's go.

I don't see any dog food anywhere.

Sorry, boys, this is a closed

set. We're here for the part. The

part? Oh, yeah, the part!

Well, it's about time you two showed

up. This here's a big Hollywood-type film

production. Every minute wasted is a

million dollars down the drain.

Union Break!

I call

my agent!

I'm the Jungle King stuntman, and you

two will be the stunt doubles for Jungle

King's faithful sidekicks, BowBow

and BooBoo.

Ah You boys are gonna need...

Wardrobe!

Bear! I

wanna be BooBoo. Okay.

But I want to be BowBow! All right!

No, I want to be BowBow!

There! But I

want to be BowBow.

There!

Huh? Union

break!

Lights, music, sound

effects, action!

Bobo, boo-boo, quick. Grab

a bite.

Good work for rehearsal.

All we got to do now is film it.

On the set! Stunt sequence for

Revenge of the Jungle King.

Take one! Take one

what? I don't know.

Huh? Well, that was real cute,

but it's wrong! You gotta

hold on to something, OK?

Ok. Take

two!

Now, wasn't that cute?

Bonnies!

All right, boys, let's try it

again. This time, get a good grip.

On the vine!

Take three!

You can break!

Take four!

Take five!

Union

break! I'll call

my agent! What's this got to

do with dog food?

Well, boys, here's your big

chance. The producer stopped by to

observate the filming. So let's get

it right this time, OK? OK.

Take 6.

That was fun-tastic. I'm gonna make you

two huge stars.

Where to?Too stupid. Too

stupid dogs. Just me and you.

Stupid. Too stupid dogs. With

two chew-in-the-shoo. Stupid. Always true

blue. Stupid. Too stupid. Too

stupid dogs. Take it away. Too

stupid dogs.

Hey, we'll catch up to Secret

Squirrel after this

Super Secret Secret Squirrel back in

business.

Oh. My shade-enhancing

satellite has finally reached

optimum orbit. Soon,

my nocturnal brothers will be able to

boogie day or

night. Let's do that crazy hand,

child.

Enough of this super-secret paperwork.

Time to visit the little buffalo's room.

Penny, get me, secret

squirrel. Secret squirrel

reporting for duty, Chief.

Yes, quite. Likewise me.

Some villainous someone has blocked out

the sun. This lack of light

is clearly the work of that insidious

possum Dr. O and his shady g*ng. Don't

worry, Chief, we'll shed some

light on that dark villain. Quite.

I'll just stay here and blindly

search for...

Are we there yet? According to my map of

the villains' homes, Dr. O's hideout

should be... Just on the other side of

this map.

No light bulbs, no flashlights,

no sunlight, no moonlight, no

candlelight, no starlight, no

lighthouses. Have a nice day. Hmm.

Looks like someone's trying to tell us

something. What?

For the benefit of the viewing

audience, a special filter will be

applied to the following scenes, so

our fans may see all the action in total

darkness. Thank you.

Obviously, that was one of Dr. O's

light exterminating devices.

Secret, are you all right?I

can't see, Morocco. Too bad

you don't have nocturnal vision. Like me.

Yeah. Eureka, Morocco.

I'm over here, secret. Oh,

eureka, Morocco. You'll be my

seeing eye mole. Oh,

secret. You always have such brightideas.

We're here. Where?

In my lair. Dr. O,

at last we meet face to face.

Much as I'd like to hang out and chat

with the back of your head, I must

destroy you now. Get them, bat

boys.

Who's there?

Morocco! Boy, inflation sure

hits hard these days. Tell me which way

to punch.

Quick secret, swing to your left.

Oopsie, I made your right.

Your left. Here

it comes again. Swing.

I'm so confused.

Oh, secret. I think I know how to do

it this time. This is my right hand,

right? Take my right hand. I mean my

left hand. And never mind,

Morocco. I'll do it myself.

Yeah, secret. He's our man.

Swing to your left. Swing to your right.

Stand up. Sit down.

Fight! Fight! Fight! I did it!

Too bad I didn't see me do it. Oh, I

saw it firsthand.

So long as my little satellite is doing

its thing, you'll never see anything

again. You pubies sound like that!

Aha! Ohh

Take that! Hi-yah! Ow!

c*ck-a-doodle-doo!

c*ck-a-doo... c*ck-a-doo...

Forget it. Must

think. Need an idea. That's

it. An idea!

Ah! My eyes! You

think your eyes hurt. Where will you feel

your nose? Oh! This'll

put an end to your dark scheme.

Another dastardly deed foiled by yours.

Oopsie. I'll say.

When will secrets solve this dark mystery

so I can find the little buffalo's room?

We already have, Chief. Then why is

it still so dark? Because it's

nighttime. You forgot to turn on the

lights. Quite well.

If you'll excuse me, I really must

go. Who

is in there? I'll

be out in a minute, Chief. Do you

want to seat up or down?

Two stupid dogs. Got a break.

Now on with the show.

I just love nature!

Where's the food? Food!

I don't know. We're in nature. I guess

we'll eat nature stuff.

Just look around. Here's some nice

algae,

some pine cones.

How about owl pellets?

This dead squirrel?

Don't make me sick. Little Red Riding

Hood. Hi,

doggies. I'm bringing this basket of

goodies to my-- Granny! You wanna come?

No way! Ah, uh! Not again,

never! You're an evil little girl. Get

away from us!

Okay, but you'll miss out on this

happy Granny brand dog

fruit--The finest meat by-products that

money can buy!

Tral-al-al-al-al-al-a-la-la-la-la...

Tral-al-al-al-al-al-a-la...

Meat by-produ-produ-i-products. Little

girl! We want to

share your meat by-products with you.

Oh,

goody! Come on! Follow me!

I know exactly where we're going. We're

lost! Wah! Now I'll never

get

to eat my

product.

Gee, I was sure Granny's house was

around here somewhere. Hey,

let's go, people. Come on, come

on. I got stuff to do.

Man, I gotta do everything myself.

Okay, you're here. Welcome to

Granny's house. Now hand me over the

goodies you brought me. Pronto! Yeah,

let's eat the meat byproducts.

Are you really my grandmother?

Uh, uh, why? Of course

I am!

Gee, what?big

eyes you've got! And

what a big nose you've got!

Gosh, what big teeth you've

got! Huh?

Like Granny! What big

aninoids you've got!

Ow!

What the heck is it with you people?

Can't you see I've been eaten by the--

Oh! What

noisy adenoids? What are

adenoids? Oh! And what

full-bodied hair you have, Granny.

Just a little indigestion. Nothing

serious.

Oh, the indignity of it all.

I was once a beauty queen.

Hey, Red, you half-witted ninny. Help

me. Oh,

Grammy. What

moist ears you have. What's your

problem?Your dogs ate ya. Don't

just stand there looking stupid. Bite

him, scratch him, pee at him,

something. What should we

do?

Good idea! Where are the meat by-products?

Whoa! What a big belly

button you have, Granny! Can we eat

now?Sure! Let's eat!

Meat by-products! Meat by-products! Meat

by-products! Meat by-products!

Take that!

And that! And

this one's for...

Say, is that Happy Granny

Brand dog food I smell?

He's got plenty more!

Mmm, mmm, delicious! Let me make

some room.

Yummy! Dog food!

Let's eat!

And we all live happily

ever after!

Okay, dogs, here comes a break.