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01x08 - Spooks-a-Poppin/Sheep Dogs

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "2 Stupid Dogs". Aired: September 5, 1993 – February 13, 1995.*
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Show is about two unnamed dogs—neither of whom, as the title states, is very intelligent—and their everyday misadventures.

01x08 - Spooks-a-Poppin/Sheep Dogs

Post by bunniefuu »

Today, two stupid dogs both

fall in love with a beautiful Polynesian

Princess.

She's beautiful.

And on the super secret secret squirrel.

Good show, secret. You're fired.

ohh Hey, get off my foot.

Thanks. Come on, let's go dig up that

bone I buried. OK.

Hey, I think we struck it rich.

This is hard fun.

Hey, where'd you go?

Ohh

Hey, I can't see.

Hey, what is this thing?

Gotta get it off.

Oh, Pimpy! I missed you so much!

You were the finest monkey that ever

lived! Neat, clean, and you could

poop on command.

It's Pippy! He's alive!

Huh What was that?

Pippy?Oh,

Pippy! I'm just a dried-up whole

window lady! Please

don't haunt me! Haunt who?

Don't be giving me your monkey shines,

Pippy! Oh, there I go.

Sassing you up again. Shame on

me! I know I should've been better to

you. I could've fed you more. Could've

bathed you more. I could've changed your

little diapers more!

You're so cute in those little diapers!

Oh, Pippy! Can you ever

forgive me?I'd do anything!

Don't give

me a sign! Say it's

okay!

Okay.

Huh

Hey! I can

see!

I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid. I'm not

afraid. I'm not afraid. I'm not

afraid. I'm not afraid.

Who?Me?Who?

What?Who?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, where?

Stupid dog. Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow!

I gotta find a bigger rock.

Ow!

Perfect! Boo-hoo! I'll be

right back.

I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid. I'm not

afraid. I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid.

I am afraid, I am afraid, I am afraid.

I am afraid, I am afraid, I am afraid, I

am afraid. I am afraid.

Hey, I'm not afraid. Oh,

Biffy, it's all my fault you're gone!

I never should have taught you to drive

on the freeway!

HuhHey! What are you doing?

Helping you. Well, if you

want to help, you can help me dig up my

bone. The bone should

be right over here. Ohh

What is that?Nothing.

Bones! Let's

go!

Hey, we'll catch up to Secret Squirrel

after this. Super secret

Secret Squirrel back in business.

You missed a spot.

Super secret message for you, Chief.

This is a crisis. Get me Secret Squirrel.

Secret Squirrel reporting for duty,

Chief. Likewise me. What a comor.

Quite. Due to government spending

cutbacks, the Super Secret Service budget

is being reduced 50%.

You can count on us to help, Chief. Good

show, Secret. You're fired. Penny,

you're my new top agent, at the reduced

rookie salary, of course. Morocco, you'll

take Penny's place as my assistant.

There. The budget is balanced.

No problem. I needed a vacation anyway.

It'll give me a chance to relax, catch up

on my reading, enjoy life, eat out more

often.

Uh, this is the life.

Oh, cool. This is a perfect

color for me. Oh, yes. And if

you twist that last curling attachment to

the left, it converts into a dandy little

flamethrower. Really?

Cool.

I'll be your bestest executive assistant

ever, Chief, and I'll start by

reorganizing his files. Penny

always kept them in fine order. Whoopsie,

I found a boo-boo gold flipper. It's

filed under G. Yes,

well, perhaps that's because his name

begins with a G. He should be

under C for criminal.

This is great. I've got all the time in

the world. Time to water my plants, play

cards, bake muffins.

Hold it right there. You'll

never get away with this calamari, kid.

Uh

oh.

Oh.

I'll stop him.

oh I

can't take it anymore.

Just take me to jail, lady, so I can be

rehabilitated and learn to lead an

honest life.

On our next show, vicious, overweight

chihuahuas and the elderly women who love

them. Vicious, overweight women and the

elderly chihuahuas that love... anorexic

chihuahuas and the overweight women who

make them wear vicious sweaters.

Queen B is under B. I think I will put

her in... C for criminal.

So, I had to crawl on my hands and knees

across an acre of broken broccoli spears.

But it was worth it to put those cagey

pimento twins behind bars. Ah,

fascinating story, Secret. Gosh, we just

looked at the time. Hey, come on, don't

be such a clock watcher. Let me tell you

about the time I defeated the dreaded Dr.

O. Somewhat of a kind, maybe. We really

ought to get back to cleaning up the mean

streets. Adios! Adios!

Snoops! Blabber! Don't go!

You work anytime. Stay a while. What do

you say to one other game of darts?Uh,

best two out of three?Okay, one quick

game of Canasta. Come on, fellas!

Fellas.

You'll never get away from me, you chima!

Welcome to the party, sister. I got a

few friends just achin' to meet ya.

This blow dryer fires 50 rounds per

second. Which one of you wants a

permanent?Uh oh.

Must have picked up the wrong one. Looks

like the squarely girly blew it. Don't

ever call me girly.

Morocco, take a letter.

One moment, Chief. I just have one more

file to stuff.

Oopsie. Ohh Don't worry,

Chief. I'll fix everything. I'll just

stick all the villains under V, and then

I'll have plenty of room for the

criminals in C. Morocco,

hit me. Agent Penny. Agent

.01 reporting. Uh, yes. Penny,

you're fired. Darn. Well, at least

it'll give me a chance to freshen up.

Morocco, you're fired as well. OK.

Penny, I have an opening for my personal

assistant. I'll take it. Page more.

Grand, you're hired. Now, I'll be needing

a new spy. Perhaps there'll be a listing

in the Yellow Pages under secret agents.

Super Secret Agent Secret Squirrel

reporting for employment, Chief?Did you

bring a resume?Ooh, oh, oh! Can I

be his assistant, huhCan I?Can I?Quite.

Well, it's done, then. But what about

those budget cuts, Chief?Yes, well, I

suppose we'll all have to make some

sacrifices.

You missed a spot.

Two stupid dogs got a break.

Now on with the show.

No. I went down South to see my Sal

singing Polly Wolly Doodle all the day.

Ooh, oh. My Sal, she

is a spunky gal singing Polly

Wolly Doodle all the day. Ooh, oh.

Hear thee well! Hear thee well!

Hear thee well, my fairy face!

Oh, oh!

I'm going to Louisiana for to see my

'toosiana. Uh,

I love the

smell of fresh fertilizer in the

morning.

HmmSinging Polly Wolly Doodle all the day

Ooh, oh!

Where are my new ranch hands?

I jumped

at the... In that...

I never touched it! Never! It never!

Touched me! Touched it! Uh..

What time is it?

Breakfast time.

Breakfast?! Well, in and

cute! But it's wrong!

We don't eat round here till after the

roundup! Come on!Time

to head 'em up and move 'em out.

Time's a-wastin', vaqueros!

Mosey on over and move them doggies back

across the river so as we can share 'em.

Okay.

What's a doggy?Are you

kidding?Why, some of my best friends are

doggies. Heck, I know all sorts of...

Oh, hi, doggy. Baa.

Baa?Not a baa. Bark.

Like this. Bark, bark, baa is only half

right. Now you try. Baa.

Bark. Baa. Bark. Baa.

Hmm, that's better.

Come on, doggy. Time to get rounded up.

Hey, let's go!

That's Buck!

Okay, Dougie, you're coming with me.

Huh

Sheesh. Didn't you ever learn to dog

paddle?That's bark.

Bark.

Bark.

That's bark, like this.

You show 'em.

Nice round up, boys.

Huh

Do we eat now?Eat?

Isn't that cute?

We got the doggies in the corral!

Now we got to shear 'em!

Okay, boys, let's get

'em.

Hmm,

good rub. Baw.

OK, dogs, here comes a break.