01x02 - Cornflakes/Home Is Where Your Head Is

[bunniefuu]

Today, two stupid dogs retraced the

steps of the Greek hero Ulysses on his

descent into the underworld. When do

we get there?When?

WhenWhenNow. Hot dog.

And on the super secret secret squirrel.

More fire. More fire.

To melt all the candy, the flames must

be higher.

Two stupid dogs! Two

stupid dogs! Two stupid dogs!

And he's got nerve. Call me Weenie Dog.

So I bit him. What would you do?I mean,

he stuck it in my face. Hey!

What are you dogs doing here?

Uh, here where?

WhereWhy, you're on my farm!

Oh. What's a farm?

What's a farm?Just

look around. Everything you see is

farm. What's it do?

Do?Well, now, ain't that cute.

But it's wrong! It don't do

nothing. You see, in the beginning,

man and the land were separate, and

loThe man became curious about what the

land had to offer. And the land

welcomed the man, saying, Come and

sample of my splendors.

Partake of my earthly bounties. And,

lo, man did partake of the splendor

of the land. And it was good.

And so from this sacred brotherhood of

man and land, the modern farm was

born. To make a long story, stumpy boys,

a farm is where you grow things. What

things?Food. Food.

What kind of food?Whatever you want. Whoa!

What should we grow?Breakfast.

Breakfast?Cornflakes. Corn?

That's easy. Come on, I'll show you.

Mother Earth.

Corn! Like I said, simplest thing in the

world. Just drop it in the ground and let

nature do the rest.

There. Well, ain't that cute.

But it's wrong! You got to follow

proper farming procedure. You got seeds

to sow and weeds to hoe. Gotta cultivate,

then irrigate. But first, you got

to plow.

Now, ain't that cute?But it's

wrong! Use a

tractor.

Hi. How we doing?Not bad. But it's

still wrong! Let me show ya.

Proper preparation of the land ain't no

job for mere dog power.

You need horsepower!

I love the smell of nature in the

morning. Smells like...

manure. Can we eat

now?Eat?Why, you boys still

got to irrigate. You do know what

irrigation is, don't you?Hmm

Maybe I'd better show you. Mother

Nature was plenty generous with a

precious gift of water, but a mind less

obliging about where she put it. thereby

requiring man, that's me, to take

matters into his own hands. You fellas

are about to see modern irrigation

engineering in action.

Man and nature, working

together for the good of the land.

Enough to make a strong man downright

damn.

Gee, not much water for all this land.

Sadly so. Of course, the government will

still pay me good money for what I don't

grow.

So much for cornflakes. Now we need some

milk. Milk?That simple. Comes from

cows. Here, there in the barn.

Okay. What's a cow?

Is that a cow?Could be.

Stupid cow!

Hey, he's got milk.

Why don't you go get it?

Nice work. I

need. Eat?Now, ain't that

cute. But it's wrong!

Takes six months for food to grow. It's

all part of the wonder of the land. And

nobody loves the land more than

me. Why, I guess I just

about love it to death.

I guess.

Cornflakes!

Hmm, good breakfast.

Breakfast?! That's not

breakfast! You boys wait right here.

I'll whip you up some nice ham and eggs.

Bessie! Where are you, girl?You gonna

take with a fried pan?Whoo! Bessie! Come

on, Bessie! I love nature. Gonna

get you some breakfast.

Come on,

Hey, we'll catch up to Secret Squirrel

after this Super

Secret Secret Squirrel back in business.

Oh, good day, Mr. Chief.

Good day, Granny. I'll take my usual

box of

crunchy munchy.

Excellent choice.

Oh, my heavens.

candy!

Calm yourself, Granny. I've got just the

man for this confectionary caper.

Calling Secret Squirrel.

Agent Triple Zero, Secret Squirrel,

reporting for duty, Chief.

Dory! He's likewise

Morocco mole.

Terrible new secret. Someone's stolen my

box of crunchy munchy as

well as Granny's entire inventory.

Sounds like a thief with very sticky

fingers. Let's take a look with my closed

circuit crime detecting pre-recorded

camcorder. I just focus on the scene of

the crime for an instant replay of the

robbery.

One buns are going bye bye.

Not quite, Morocco. I'll just fine-tune

the picture with my high-fidelity

telephoto zoo.

Ants. Sugar ants, to be exact.

Chin up, chief. We'll get your bonbons

back. Tell me your plan, secret.

Simple, Morocco. Start with a squirt of

this insta-hardening candy coating.

Add this golden cellophane wrapper.

Voila. A luscious lore no

candy culprit could resist. All set,

Morocco. Good.

Looks like our little candy crooks are on

their way.

Underground tunnels, eh

I'll follow them with my mobile Moroccan

mole detector.

HmmSeems this abandoned factory has

recently reopened for business.

An aluminum gingerbread alloy shouldn't

pose a problem for my custom-made

pocket-sized portable door.

More fire, more fire.

To melt all the candy, the flames must be

higher.

Morocco.

Oh, secret squirrel.

A gingerbread boy?Man,

gingerbread man, you dunce.

Although I was a boy, was a boy once.

Long time ago, in a kitchen far away, a

mother for her child did bake,

bake, bake. A gingerbread boy with

two gumdrops for eyes and suspenders of

marzipan cake, cake, cake. The

girl took the cookie and cuddled and

kissed it, and sweetly she nicknamed it

Greg, Greg, Greg. She

hugged Greg so nearly and loved

Greg so dearly that she bit off Greg.

Gingerbread plank, plank, plank. For

years upon years I

schemed and I planned. Here's the

part you may find deranged, deranged,

deranged to melt all the

sweets into a giant candy

creature. So now candy will

eat kids for a change, change, change.

Your newborn heart beats and

your candy eyes swirl. For your first

sweet snack, have a taste of

Secret Squirrel.

Peppermint. Start eating, Morocco.

My candy creature is gobbled. What a

gluttonous disgrace. There is nothing

left to eat in this sweet forsaken

place. Nothing left to eat,

ehYour eggs seem quite

unhappy about your monstrous defeat,

but I think it's plain to see they found

one last thing to eat. Oh,

my scheme for glory is undone. Denied

by chance, chance, chance.

This tale ends unhappily ever after.

Thanks to these eggs.

Those bugs' bellies still aren't full.

This should stick them in their tracks.

One last detail and this case is all

wrapped up. Praiseworthy work, secret.

It's a pity you only managed to recover

this one box of crunchy munchy.

Delicious. This is even crunchier and

muchier than usual.

Two stupid dogs. Got a break.

Now on with the show.

And he keeps calling me a lap dog. A lap

dog?Can you believe it?I don't even know

what that is.

Ah But I figure, hey, maybe he's got some

food up there. You never know what you're

gonna find.

So I says, Hey, man, that's my

ear. Can you believe it?

Hey, where'd you go?

Oh, so where was I?Oh, yeah.

So I said to the guy, Hey, man, that's

my... Are you

listening?Wait, what's wrong with

your... Your

head is gone! Where's your head?Where is

it?Where is it?Where is it?

Here.

Here, hereoh

So I grab my tail and I, uh.. Hey, let's

go.

It's like you're stuck or something.

You're stuck! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh

my gosh! Don't panic, don't

panic! I'll get you out. Whatever you do,

don't move. Okay.

What was that?

nothing.

HmmI guess I did eat the corn.

Man, you're really stuck. You could be

stuck here forever, or longer even. Till

Christmas! What?I never

thought it would end this way.

Am I wet?

Don't worry about me. I just got

something in my eyes.

You'll never get out of here. This means

we'll have to go her own separate ways.

I'll never see you again.

Really?Really.

Gosh.

I guess it's time to go.

I can't leave you! But

I must! It's better that way

for both of us. For all of

us. All of who?

Remember, though we must party.

Michelle will always remain friends. This

is not goodbye. Just

toodle-oo. Toodle-who?

I'll never forget you.

Two, please.

It's just not the same.

Whoa!

It's just not the same.

It's not the same. So I said, Hey,

man, that's my ear. Can you believe it?

Fine! Be that way. Who needs you?You,

you, you.. rock!

Ohh

I got friends. Better friends than you'll

ever have. Hey! I do have a

friend. A good friend. A great friend!

Man, am I stupid! How could I ever forget

good old... what's his name?

What was that?It's me!

Me who?Mimi.

I know you're stuck here. You may never

get out for the rest of your life, or

forever, or even till Christmas. But I

don't care. I'm staying with you.

Really?Really. From now on, whatever you

need, I'll get it for you. You name it,

anything. Hmm

Here. I brought you this pneumatic drill.

Always handy to have a power tool.

And this corkscrew for your corks.

You'll need this.

Perfect. And you'll need this venture

sh**ter, and this hat, and this vacuum,

and this, and this,

and this, and this. There,

you never know when you want to wash some

dishes. Anything else?I'm

fine. Good, great, good.

So, what's so interesting over here

anyway?Nothing.

Oh.

Nice to see you again. Yeah.

You were really gonna leave, were you?

Good. Yeah.

OK, dogs, here comes a break.