01x06 - The Godfather

[bunniefuu]

[CLANGING, GRUNTING]

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

Kevin, come on. Open it later.

We're supposed to be at the soundstage.

I'm almost there. Wait a second.

sh*t.

I got it, I got it, I got it.

It's a necklace.

It's got "RBG." [GASPS]

"R" is for "Rodrigo."

That guy that he m*rder*d.

Ugh, Jesus, Kevin, give it a rest.

You've got to sneak that

sh*t back into his office

before he figures out you stole it.

WILCOX: Rise and shine! Let's go!

- [CLAPS] Come on! Let's go!

- sh*t.

Put this on your side.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

♪

All right, class.

It's a fun day today.

It's a big day.

Behind that door,

I got a very big surprise for you.

We get to see daylight

for the first time?

Nope. Any other guesses?

Gonna open the door up and

a panther gonna come through

and maul us to death?

Getting warmer. You're getting warmer.

Why am I getting warmer?

A source of protein

other than beef jerky?

- That would be great.

- Watch this.

- KEVIN: Unbelievable. Please.

- Some fruit, like a smoothie?

Josh Hartnett!

- Hey!

- [GASPS]

- Hey!

- Ooh, ooh! Look out, look out!

Ooh.

Get off me.

[CHUCKLES] My favorite alumni.

- Class, third week, April 1999.

- Aw.

- Come on. That's

- Come on.

Oh, my God.

Is it possible that

you're too beautiful?

[LAUGHS]

Um, yeah. [STAMMERS]

Kiss my, um

You smile a lot.

- What the f*ck did you just say?

- I

Kev, I'm so glad you're here, man.

This is gonna change your life.

I mean, when Ron finished with me,

I shot Pearl Harbor, Black

Hawk Down, Hollywood Homicide.

- Right?

- Should've probably left the last one out.

JOSH: When I first came

here, I was nothing!

I was, like, 100 pounds soaking wet.

By the time I was out of

here, I felt invincible.

I felt like

Academy Award winner

Matt Damon or some sh*t.

[LAUGHS] You're too much.

He's too much. Why

don't you guys catch up?

- And, Agent King

- Yes.

let's talk motivation.

Bye.

Nice to meet you.

Kev.

How's it going so far, man?

It is not going good.

This place is like a

prison. Do you hear me?

And I think Coach Ron

is trying to k*ll me.

Come on. That's just

his way. Look at him.

- He's a teddy bear.

- He ain't no teddy bear!

He's the complete

opposite of a teddy bear.

And I believe he m*rder*d somebody.

I think he m*rder*d

a Colombian drug lord.

I think he did it. A guy

named Rodrigo was here.

- Oh, God, man.

- I think I think he m*rder*d someone.

You crack me up, Kev.

- Oh, you're serious?

- Yes, I'm serious.

I went snooping around in his office,

and I think I found a

keepsake from the m*rder.

It was a necklace. It's got "RBG."

Ron m*rder*d someone

and kept a necklace?

Like Dexter?

- Josh, listen to me.

- Yeah.

We need to call the cops.

- Okay.

- We need to get the people from out there to come in here.

- Okay.

- I'm talking about the feds, the D.A.

WILCOX: What are we whispering about?

Nothing.

We're talking about workouts.

I told him my workout,

his workout. It's nothing much.

- We're not talking about nothing.

- How's my goddaughter?

Oh, man, she is growing like a weed.

- Look at this.

- Oh, yeah? Let's see that.

- Goddaughter?

- Let's see that.

- Oh! Aw!

- Look at her.

- She misses her Uncle Ronny, though.

- Well, you tell her

that her Uncle Ronny misses

that little pumpkin head, too.

- Yeah.

- [CRYING]

Hey. Hey.

Why the sad face? Are you okay?

I'm fine. I'm fine.

[EXHALES]

I can't find my special necklace.

The one that I had

custom-made with "RBG"

Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

- It's okay. It's okay.

- Yeah.

She's my favorite Supreme Court justice.

I mean, I love her dissenting opinions.

Let me tell you something

if I find out that someone

stole it, I'll k*ll 'em.

I'll k*ll 'em!

Hey, you have to think

positive thoughts.

We're gonna find it.

It's gonna turn up soon.

I promise you.

It's gonna turn up soon.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

WILCOX: Today, we're

doing firearm stunts.

We've got Officer Hartnett, who

is a corrupt cop who's gone rogue.

We've got Agent King and Agent Hart.

You finally found him in this chop shop.

And this is where the

sh**t-out will take place.

- Now, here is your g*n.

- Nice.

Don't you ever accept a g*n like that!

It's always from the back.

You passed it to me frontwards.

That was a test. You failed.

Now, these firearms are loaded, okay?

So please be careful

how you handle them.

Well, we don't have to be that careful,

'cause there's there's

blanks in 'em, right?

Not loaded loaded, just

They're blanks, correct?

No. Coach Ron, that's

not gonna do it for me.

I need a verbal confirmation

that it's blanks in this g*n.

- What do you think?

- Yes or no, are there blanks in this g*n?

Come on, Kevin. Get your

head in the game, man.

Josh, my head's in the game.

I'm just trying to be safe.

And he still didn't say yes or no.

Yes.

- JOSH: Yes. You heard him.

- Okay.

Everyone in wardrobe. I'll

see you in ten right back here.

We start the sh**t-out.

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

Hey, what are you doing?

- Get into costume.

- No.

Not me. I'm not doing it.

Kevin, you're being paranoid.

We all heard him say they were blanks.

My g*n has blanks.

I guarantee you that.

But I bet you Josh

he's got a fully loaded f*cking p*stol.

Now, Ron already tried to k*ll me once.

Right now, he's probably willing

to go all the f*cking way.

I'm not doing it.

Try to make it look

like a g*dd*mn accident.

That's exactly what he'll do.

"Kevin Hart accidentally k*lled

in Ron Wilcox's Action School."

No, thank you.

First of all, Josh would never do that.

He is sweet and sensitive.

I bet he's tender.

Probably.

Okay, what the f*ck is over there?

Huh? I bet he's none of those things.

He and Ron, they're like this.

f*cking godfather to his kids.

Didn't say sh*t about that.

- And they know I got the necklace!

- So put it back.

I can't put it back,

'cause it's too late.

They know I got the g*dd*mn necklace.

You know what, it's

not safe for me here.

- I got to go.

- Oh, so you're just gonna give up

on your lifelong dream because

you're afraid of getting shot?

f*ck that dream!

Hey, look, I'm leaving.

You got a choice.

Come with me.

Uh

[EXHALES]

I can't.

I'm sorry.

This is my shot.

I understand.

It is your shot, and you deserve it.

Okay.

Nice.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

- Turn the other.

- All right, here we go.

- One, two, three.

- And go.

[EXHALES, MIMICS g*nsh*t]

[BOTH LAUGH]

Yes!

♪

[BIRDS CAWING]

[GROANS] What a d*ck.

- Where the f*ck is my car?

- [KEYS JANGLE]

You got to be kidding me.

Oh!

m*therf*cker!

[ALARM CHIRPING]

Oh!

[ALARM CHIRPS]

[ALARM CHIRPING]

[ALARM CHIRPS, LOCK CLICKS]

He k*lled my car.

He k*lled my f*cking car.

WILCOX: Kevin! Kevin!

Where are you?!

- Come out, come out, wherever you are!

- Oh, sh*t. sh*t.

sh*t.