01x03 - Nick Takes Over A Wedding

[bunniefuu]

So if any one of you here

Can show just cause

Why this couple cannot be legally married--

[Minister fades] [snores]

Then let them speak now or forever hold--

Hey!

I--i object.

I--i can't hold my peace no longer.

This is boring. I'm sorry, this is

The most boring thing I've ever been to--

You married?

What, me? Well, no. Wh--

You married?

N-no.

Y'all want to be married?

Stand up here. Come on.

Look, I'm gonna be your wedding planner,

And I'm gonna give y'all the best wedding ever.

Y'all with it?

Uh...i...

What about you?

Oh, absolutely! [Giggles]

All right, baby. Nick cannon--

I'm taking over a wedding, baby. Let's go, y'all.

♪♪Nick cannon ♪♪

♪♪ I'm taking over ♪♪

♪♪ Come on ♪♪

♪♪ Ain't no party like a nick cannon party ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause a nick cannon party don't stop ♪♪

♪♪ Ain't no party like a nick cannon party ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause a nick cannon party don't stop ♪♪

All right, so what's your name, player?

Jonathan.

Nice to meet you, jonathan.

You, too. So, look, man.

You can just call me the wedding plannin' cannon,

'Cause I'm about to make it happen for you, baby.

Whatever you need, from the cake to the music

To--i--we about to have a off the hook wedding.

Now, first thing we gotta do

Is go ring shopping.

You know, to the jewelry store,

'Cause it don't mean a thing

Until you get the ring.

The ring, right.

You know, ladies love the jewelry.

Right, exactly.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

Absolutely, man.

What do you think?

I don't know, bionic bifocal man.

That ring right there,

It's like a piece of salt.

Let me show you something else.

That's a little better.

Got a little liberace feel to it,

But, you know, I'm thinkin' bigger than that.

♪♪ Nick cannon ♪♪

Gentlemen, I have a ring for you.

Been saving it for special customers.

And you guys are my special customers.

Hey, a ring pop! Sweet.

Bling, bling. Heh heh.

All right, guys,

Now I'm here with the bride lisa,

And the first thing a bride needs

Is a dress.

How about this one?

Oh.

It's nice, but I kind of wanted something with puffier sleeves.

Can we look around a little bit?

I was kind of growing accustomed to this one,

But, all right, I'm gonna go change,

And you look around.

Nick, what do you think of this one?

You know what? I like this.

Only thing, it just lacks a little color.

Color? But it has to be white.

Yeah, but we gotta put the nick spin on it.

Matter of fact, got a couple of friends

That's gonna help me out.

Hey, guys! [Whistles]

[Kids yelling]

After you.

Ok. [Laughs]

Yeah.

This is where all the magic goes down, baby.

All right, lisa.

My friends here about to make your dress real pretty.

You ready? Yeah, i-i'm ready.

All right, hold on.

I got a little something for you,

'Cause it might get a little messy--

Some goggles.

All right, y'all, I'm gonna get out of here

'Cause this is a new outfit.

Do your thing. Good luck.

[Yelling and laughing]

[Cheering]

All right! All right, yeah!

Way to go, children!

You look wonderful. Immaculate, even.

You guys did a good job.

Hey, go get cleaned up.

I'm gonna call y'all a little later.

We gonna hook up. Be good, y'all!

Whoo! So what do you think?

It's...pretty. It's colorful.

Yeah. It matches your goggles.

Oh, it does?

[Singing]

All right. Now, since I'm taking over a wedding,

I gotta pull a wedding-ring gag, right?

Yeah! Yeah!

All right, so we got the wedding ring, we got a fountain.

Now I'm gonna throw the ring in the fountain

And see how many adults I can get to come

And try to get my ring back for me, all right?

Got the hidden cannon glasses, see?

I can see all you guys. The camera.

All right. Go ahead, put it in there.

Excuse me, sir, I dropped my ring--

Well, it's not my ring, it's my friend's ring--

In the water.

I see you got on shorts.

Can you get in there for me?

You won't get in trouble, I promise. This is really quick.

Is-- go in there. He lost his ring.

It's right in there. You see it?

No.

Yeah, like, maybe you can bend in the water

And he'll hold on to your legs or something.

I just dropped a ring in the water.

I was just wondering if you could help me get it.

It's right there.

It's right--right-- what?

A ring.

My friend is gonna k*ll me.

I'm the best man.

Why can't you get it?

Because I don't want to mess up my tux.

Y-you got it?

Could you please help me

Just get this ring out the water?

If you could just get in there.

It's not-- it's right there, I promise.

It isn't a joke, is it?

Do you want--i'll call my friend right now if you want to talk to him.

Where is the ring?

I will get in there myself.

Where is the ring?

Show me the ring.

It's right there. Can't you--look.

Step right--right there.

I don't see it.

I don't see the ring.

If I saw it, I'd go get it.

Right there. Right where?

Excuse me.

Right there, right there. There you go.

Ha ha! Yeah!

Thanks a lot, man! Oh, my goodness.

Come on. I appreciate that, man.

No problem, man. Thank you so much.

Hold on to it.

Yeah, man, so we makin' it all happen.

See, right now, I think this is the spot.

You--get you a sodexut.

I mean tuxedo.

Tuxedo, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

There's the store. Come on, man.

Get you all spiff spiffy spiff spiff.

♪♪ First name nick ♪♪

Boy, we're gonna hook you up.

You're gonna be cleaner than a tennessee chitlin.

[Rumbling]

Something's not right about this place.

Oh, well.

I don't think she's gonna like this.

Slow up, playa.

I got an idea.

Come on, big britches.

Uh, nick...

Trust me.

Go ahead.

Nick: oh, man! Yeah!

That's what I'm talkin' about, baby.

It worked!

All you need is the little finishing touch here.

Hey, gotta make you pine fresh.

Oh, I smell good now, too. Ha ha!

All right, you guys. Now, you know in a wedding,

You have to have flowers, right?

That's why we're here at the southern california flower market

To pick some up at--

[Scratching alarm noise]

Hold up. My alarm's going off.

♪♪ Nick cannon ♪♪

That means it's time for cannon to go off.

About to get my groove on inside the flower market.

These people will never know what hit 'em.

Let's go.

Oh, yeah.

♪♪ Uh, uh, break it, break it down now ♪♪

♪♪ Only for the room, baby ♪♪

♪♪ Uh, break it ♪♪

Yeah!

♪♪ Give me all them my butt ♪♪

♪♪ I want to smack it ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, whoo, give me one of these ♪♪

♪♪ Ah ♪♪

♪♪ Ah ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, work it, work it ♪♪

Come on, at ease. Oh, yeah.

♪♪ Funk it up ♪♪

[Nick singing indistinctly]

♪♪ Nick cannon, nick, nick cannon ♪♪

[Sirens]

♪♪ Nick cannon, nick, nick cannon ♪♪

Ohh! It's on!

♪♪ Break it down, break it, break ♪♪

I'm shopping, dog. I'm trying to shop to the beat.

Have to go, man. Let's go.

Oh. A'ight.

I'm out. I'm out, bro.

I'm out. I'm leaving.

[Indistinct squawking]

All right, bro. Get the picture.

Well, I guess the flower shopping didn't go as well

As I thought it was supposed to go.

So--hey.

Maybe I'll just call my boy.

He got the hook-up on flowers.

[Beeping]

[Ringing]

Oh, good, the phone, the phone.

Yo! Yo!

Francis, yo, dog, I need a big favor, money.

Oh, oh, anything for you, money.

Anything you want me to do, fill you in some flower.

Yeah, I got to try.

I'm a holy deal. Yo, it's francis flunkle,

Yo know as your uncle, ring the ring, ring, ring, ring.

[Dial tone] hello?

Yo, turns, let me get the spongebob squarepants.

Which one?

Sponge-bob square-pants.

Sponge-bob, see?

You know what I'm saying?

Y'all gotta have some flowers in here, money.

No, no.

You want to get married life?

I already married.

Hold it down.

Pickin' flowers. Yo, money.

For the wedding.

My man nick say get flowers.

Yeah, b, flowers.

[Horn honks]

Hold it down!

Thanks a lot, b.

[Gasps]

[Gasps] why, b?

You ain't never did nothin' to nobody, buddy.

[Wailing]

But you ain't gonna need this no more.

We'll take these.

You ain't gonna need these, either, b.

Give me! Give me! Give me one!

Work it through!

♪♪ Nick, nick, nick, nick, nick, nick ♪♪

All right, everybody who's married, raise your hand.

You're not married? No.

So what's up, man? You planning on getting married?

No, not yet.

Not yet? No.

Why not?

Because I'm too little.

So, I heard you guys were thinking about getting married.

As long as elvis marries us.

[Imitating elvis] uh, hi there, little lady.

Do you take this man...

To be...your lawfully-wedded husband?

Sure.

And, uh, hey there, fella.

Do you take this lovely little lady here

To be your lawfully wedded wife?

I do.

You may kiss the bride.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Whoo-hoo!

Ain't no party like a nick cannon party

'Cause a nick cannon party will be right back.

♪♪ Nick-nick-nick-nick- nick-nick-nick-nick ♪♪

What do parents do on honeymoons?

I don't know.

Me, either.

You know what married people do on honeymoons?

No.

Why do they call it a honeymoon?

Because they eat honey?

They eat honey and moon each other.

Do your parents kiss a lot? Yes.

Is it nasty?

Bleah! Yeah! Uhhh. We don't like that.

Do your parents kiss a lot?

Umm, not that much.

They should probably kiss a little more, huh?

No.

Your parents kiss a lot? Yeah.

Do you like it. No, it's nasty.

When is it ok for your parents to kiss?

When we're not around.

I agree. Parents, don't kiss around your children.

Please. It's nasty to us.

♪♪ Nick-nick-nick-nick- nick-nick-nick-nick ♪♪

[Cheering and singing]

Oh, a toaster!

Hello.

My name es rico.

I am the ladies' man.

Yes!

[Cheers]

[Spanish guitar plays]

Amors, who wants to dance with rico?

Oh, I do!

Spin! Spin!

We're dancing, we're dancing, we're dancing, we're dancing--

Don't worry about that, man. We keep it going.

Rico es regalo. Rico es regalo.

Dance for you all. Yes.

Dance with me. Dance with me.

Ok. Silencio.

Now this is a wedding shower, no? Yes.

Si? Si.

No? Si. Yes.

Yes? Yes? You see what?

It's a shower. You see?

So why nobody in the shower, you know?

I want to see shower.

Shower time! Yes!

[Squealing]

Yes. Now that's what I call a shower, man.

♪♪ Nick-nick-nick-nick- nick-nick-nick-nick ♪♪

Since my idea of a wedding is a really big event,

You have to have some celebrities, right?

[Dialing]

[Ringing]

A.c., Aaron carter, what's going on?

I'm planning this wedding. I was wondering if you could make it.

No. No, I can't go.

No, I can't make it.

Oh, man, I'm sorry. Um...

I got this new ramp,

And I really gotta go test it out.

Wedding? No. I got a wedding.

I'm not gonna be able to make it.

I'm so sorry, but you know what?

I've got to cut my toenails. Oh, cool.

Yeah, i--i'm sorry.

Um, I have to play with my band.

We can't make, um, we can't go.

Nick, terry has a bunion.

Um, I've got a toothache right now.

No, I can't. It's my birthday.

I have a birthday.

Whose wedding is it? Yeah?

Yeah, I don't really do weddings, man.

I just--it's really not my thing.

A'ight. Peace.

Time to call in the big dog.

Hang on. Hang on a second.

[Ringing] hello?

G.w.

Nick? No, sorry.

Can't make it. I'm gonna be at camp.

Camp david. [Chuckles]

Last resort.

[Beeps]

[Rings]

Um...hello?

Hey, hey, mr. Watkins.

Oswald watkins. What's going on? This is nick cannon.

I gotta ask you for a huge favor.

All right, now, whatever you need me to do, young man.

I gotcha.

Hey, I was just wondering, mr. Watkins,

I'm planning this wedding.

It's gonna be a huge event.

I need some entertainment there,

And you, you know, you the original entertainer.

I was just wondering if you could come through

And do your thing. Will you?

Yes, I will.

All right. Yeah.

Peace, love, and chicken grease, brother.

Chicken grease. Right.

Ha. All right.

Peace.

A'ight, baby. It is wedding time.

Now, you know a wedding is a huge event.

So it's gonna be larger than large,

Huger than huge. I feel all spiffy.

So let's go to the wedding.

♪♪ Oh, let's go to the wedding ♪♪

Chris: and good evening, nickelodeon viewers.

Welcome to nick cannon's saturday night wedding.

Hi, I'm chris myers, and I'm here courtside

For what's going to be a huge event.

Get your rice here.

Tonight's classic match-up between rookies.

Truly amazing.

Neither one has been to the altar before.

First up, singing in the bride tonight--

The incomparable oswald watkins.

Now, let's meet tonight's starting groomsman.

Uh, a little lower, fellas.

♪♪ Hey, fellas ♪♪

Talk about a small wedding party.

And, of course, no wedding would be complete

Without the bridesmaids--

The meter maid, the french maid,

The mermaid?

Hey, I just call 'em as I see 'em.

You can't make this stuff up.

And what about these fans?

[Cheering]

Oh, I just love weddings.

Yes, I does.

Let's get this wedding started.

Nick, take it away.

Thanks a lot, chris.

Ooh, this is gonna be fun.

Nick: all right, wedding fans,

Are you ready for a big wedding?

First up, from dubuque, iowa,

Give it up for jonathan coldfeet simpson!

Whoo! Yeah!

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for,

Hailing from pleasantville, california,

Here she is--

Lisa boom-boom beck!

[Playing wedding march]

♪♪ Oh, here she come, now ♪♪

♪♪ Here come that bride ♪♪

♪♪ Ooh, oh, oh, here she come ♪♪

♪♪ Here she comin', now, hoo, yo ♪♪

♪♪ Here she comin', here she comin' ♪♪

♪♪ Here come the bride, now clap your hands ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, clap, oh ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, here come that bride ♪♪

♪♪ All dressed in white, yes, she is, now ♪♪

[Restrained applause]

And finally, the man with the wedding plan,

Give it up for the j.o.p.-- The justice of the peace!

Chris: this is not gonna be easy.

Let's see if the j.o.p. Can get these vows in in time

To beat the -second clock.

I am the j.o.p.

In the place to be on the j-o-b! Ha!

Are y'all ready?

Can I get a witness?

You da man. All right.

Start the clock. Whoo!

Do you...

[Crowd chanting] I do, I do, I do...

I do!

Do you?

[Crowd chanting]

I do!

Y'all did. Ha!

I pronounce y'all to man and wife!

You may kiss the bride. Do your thing. Hoo!

[Crowd cheering]

Now you may throw the bouquet.

Chris: there's only seconds left.

She fades back, there's the toss,

And who's this?

It's aunt pearl!

And what's this?

Out comes the slipper.

What a move!

One second left.

She dives... And makes the catch!

[Buzzer] unbelievable!

What a grab.

Aunt pearl wins the bouquet.

Now walk along!

And there goes the bride and groom.

Bring it around town.

They're gonna be talking about this one

For a long, long time.

[Giggling]

Yo, baby, that's the show!

This is nick cannon, and I just want to thank

Everybody who helped me in this episode or the wedding,

Especially the lovely couple here in the back.

Hey, I'll holler at you next time, a'ight?

Roll it out in style. Hoo!

♪♪ Tater skins and toejam, everybody, now ♪♪

♪♪ Ta-- ♪♪

What you doing, girl?

The party's not over.

You can go ahead and brush that up for me.

I have some free time.

We takin' over.