01x07 - Nick Takes Over The Beach

[bunniefuu]

[Blows whistle]

No food or drink at the beach.

You got to leave your cooler here.

But I got my cool, refreshing drinks in here.

Set it down.

All right.

You ain't gonna spoil my party, though,

Because I'm at the beach, baby.

[Blows whistle]

No umbrellas at the beach.

Set it back down here.but how...

All right, hey.

[Blows whistle]

Why?

Too dangerous.

Football ain't never hurt nobody.

It's all right, though.

[Blows whistle]

What now?

No building sand castles at the beach.

Got to take your pail and shovel.

You know what? It's all right because I got my floaty.

I'm at the beach. I ain't gonna let you spoil my fun.

[Blows whistle]

No swimming in the ocean. Got to take your floaty.

That's not even for swimming.

I got a pimple on my butt. I need my floaty.

Don't deflate floaty!

Floaty, don't--what-- why are you so cruel to my floaty?

My floaty ain't done nothing to you.

You know what? I've had it with you.

No this, no that-- sounds like no fun.

It's my beach now.

We're taking over.

He took my whistle.

♪♪ We're taking over ♪♪

♪♪ Come on! ♪♪

♪♪ Ain't no party like an nick cannon party ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause a nick cannon party don't stop ♪♪

♪♪ Ain't no party like a nick cannon party ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause a nick cannon party don't stop ♪♪

♪♪ Do my ladies take this party over? ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, yeah! ♪♪

♪♪ Or do my dogs take this party over? ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, yeah! ♪♪

♪♪ Ain't no party like a nick cannon party ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause a nick cannon party don't stop ♪♪

Captioning made possible by nickelodeon

And u.s. Department of education

Captioned by the national captioning institute --www.ncicap.org--

Hey, what's up, my people?

Nick cannon chilling here. Welcome to the show.

As you can see, we're here at the beach,

And I'm taking over, baby,

And we're going to do things my way around these parts.

Oh, yeah. Soaking in the sun my way.

Ahh!

You know, the beach is a great place to hang out

And just chill with your friends,

So I thought I'd just take a little walk

And talk to some people, see what brings them to the beach.

Are you having fun out here? Yeah.

What are some activities you do when you come to the beach?

We just play in the sand and go in the water.

You go in the water?yeah.

When you gonna go?after this.

Go now.

They really ran and jumped in the water.

Nick: was it cold in there? Oh, yeah. Very cold.

What would you be doing right now if you wasn't at the beach?

Probably baseball practice.

So, you should be practicing baseball right now,

But you out here hanging loose?

Yeah.

Coach, he is practicing.

He's doing-- he's sliding.

Don't hurt yourself. See, coach?

That was second. He's safe.

Your coach gonna be mad when he sees this on tv.

We'll blur out your face.all right.

So, if you weren't at the beach right now, what would you be doing?

I would be painting the back doors of my house.

So, now the back doors of your house

Are just flaky and...plain.

When you gonna get to it?maybe tomorrow.

Maybe tomorrow if you don't come back to the beach. Yeah.

Who was that burying you?

My sister.

Oh, so you're getting a kick out of this, huh?

Yeah.

You're planning on leaving right now,

Getting in the car, and just going, huh?

Leaving him here.

Would you let him bury you?

No.

How did you talk him into allowing you to bury him?

I don't know. He just wanted to.

Oh, so this is your idea?

Yep.

Bad idea, huh?

Uh-huh.

I wanted to bury him,

But he's too scared to lay back.

Why you too scared to lay back?

I don't want to get all sandy.

He has a lot of fears.

He has a lot of what?a lot of fears.

Just lay back and let him bury you all the way.

Fine.

You know, I created a game called "bury your parents.&Quot;

Oh, yeah?you ever buried your parents before?

No, they get too mad at me.

All right, y'all,

Now it's time to play a little game--

A game I like to call...

Come on. Let's go meet the families.

What's the name of your family? Donlon.

The mahoneys.

We are wilk.

The rules of the game "bury your parents" is...

Bury your parents.

The first teams to bury their parents

Moves on to the second round-- the food round, ok?

Are you ready to play the game?

All: yeah!

Let's play.

Go! Bury!

Not so bad?

Not bad at all.

How you feeling, mom?

Oh, gritty.

I feel like I'm wearing a lead suit.

Have you ever been buried before?

No, I have not, and there's a reason.

Is your watch sandproof?

I can't even feel it anymore.

Wilk: they've got sand all over my face.

It doesn't taste so good.

Remember, the first families

Go on to the next round.

I think the mahoneys are finished.

[Mahoneys cheering]

We have it right here--

The mahoneys and the wilks.

You guys, yeah!

You can raise up. Raise up.

Ah, he's raising from the burial.

I think you guys had a good chance.

Your dad was just bigger than the other dad and mom over there.

What does sand taste like?

Oh, man, it's rocky.

This is the food round.

We buried your parents.

Now they look a little hungry,

So you want to feed them, right?yeah.

Ready to feed them?yeah.

First team to clear their plates wins.

And ready, set, go!

Feed them! Oh, yeah!

Oh! Oh, yeah!

Ooh, the wilks are going.

One more meatball,

And the wilks are done!

The wilks got it! Yeah!

You guys are the winners.

All right, give me , baby.

You guys were so close. The mahoneys were so close.

You did a good job, though.

You did a good--give me .

Give me .

You can't give me .

You guys are the grand-prize winners.

Give yourselves a round of applause.

Are you guys ready for the winning prize?yeah!

How about a little chocolate cake?

Sounds good.

Yeah! All right!

Any last words?

Is this upside-down cake?

It will be.

Aah! Aah!

You got to pick up the cake like that.

Oh, ok.

[Kids laughing]

How's it taste, papa wilks?

I can't hear anything.

Now, that's a meal, right?

It's delicious.

Yo, that's how we play games when I take over, baby.

♪♪ Nick, nick cannon ♪♪

♪♪ Nick ♪♪

♪♪ Nick cannon ♪♪

Yo, I figure since I'm taking over the beach and everything,

I might as well learn how to surf.

Benji weatherly here--

Professional surfer, shortboard extraordinaire. My man.

He's gonna put it down. He's gonna teach me how to surf, right?

It shouldn't be that hard, right? It's kind of easy.

No. We'll take it from the top.

You want to start by waxing the board.

Earwax? No earwax.

Oh! That's water.

[Benji chuckling]

You just messed all my wax up.

And then second, I would say we're gonna have to work on paddling.

You're gonna want to paddle.

Can i, like, paddle with my rhythm?yeah.

Yeah. What you want, jack?

And that's what it's all about.

You want to feel when a wave

Is gonna be the right time to catch it

Because being on the wrong time is not good thing.

You're gonna be upside down.

Who's gonna be upside down?hopefully, not you.

Soon as you get the paddling and you're catching the waves,

Then we can go from there, and that would be standing up.

As quick as possible.whoo! You see that?

It's about timing.it's all about timing, so--

Well, I got good comedic timing.

You're just gonna use that in the water.

Ok, use my comedy in the water.

Yep, you're gonna feel the wave pushing you.

Push me? It's pushing?

Oh! Yeah!

What? Ooh!

I have a feeling you're gonna have a good style.

It's all about style.

It's all about style, baby. Surfing. I'm taking over surfing.

Y'all ready for this?

Aqua boogie, baby.

Whoa!

If I got it--oh!

Ha ha!

Whoo! Yeah!

Paddling.benji: great.

Whoa!

Oh!

Yeah!

Whoo!

I got this.

Whoo-hoo!

Oh!

Whoa!

Whoo!

♪♪ Nick, nick cannon ♪♪

♪♪ Nick ♪♪

♪♪ Nick, nick cannon... ♪♪

Yo, don't lose your seats

Because there's more of me taking over the beach.

♪♪ ...so act like you know ♪♪

♪♪ Nick ♪♪

♪♪ Nick, nick cannon ♪♪

Looking for lifeguards.

You know, I'm taking over the beach,

So I have to have my own lifeguard crew.

You know what I'm-- what is this?

Uh...uh, excuse me, sir?

I'm looking for lifeguards,

And you look like you might need

Some lifeguard training or some sort of training.

I was wondering if you want to be a lifeguard on my beach.

Yeah. Yeah, ok.

All right, let me get you, brush the candy off you.

Let me help you up.

[Grunting]

All right.

You might want to lay off the candy, dog.

So, we need a couple more people for our lifeguard committee,

And, you know, let's go looking. You want to find some people?

Yeah, sounds good. Let's do it.

Cool. Hey, these people over here look like they could be perfect.

Excuse me. Hey, how you doing? My name's nick cannon,

And I was just wondering if you guys were interested

In being lifeguards.

What do you mean?

We're gonna do a whole training thing.

I'm gonna take you guys through training.

We're gonna do, like, our own baywatch.

You want to be a lifeguard?

Do you have to go in the water?

Possibly. Possibly.

What do I wear?

We get you a nice little bikini...maybe.

Thanks, I think.

Are you a lifeguard, too?

My man tell you he gonna be a lifeguard, you could be a lifeguard.

Are you going to-- ok, I'll go.

All right. Come on, chad.

All right.

Chad, man. Come on.

Focus.

So, now we just got to talk to some, you know,

What they call "real lifeguards"

And get some training tips.

You guys ready for that? You ready to save some people?

I'm ready to save myself.ok.

Trying to figure out how this lifeguard situation is working.

I want you guys to give us some tips and train us a little bit.

What's that white stuff on your nose?

Zinc.

You can't eat that.

You can't eat-- don't eat that, man.

You guys are always staring off into the distance.

You need to help my lifeguards do the stare.

Hold the gut in. Try.

Chin up. Chin up.

Chest out.

Pointing towards the horizon there. Right.

You can breathe, though, you know.

[Coughing]

Nick: you think you got this staring stuff down?

I think I'm the best.

I get an "a.&Quot;

You see a food booth in the distance?

Hot dog.

Concession stand.

Mmm!

What's next?

Now, I see you guys always have whistles,

So I got my whistle, and I'm a whistle guy. I can...

[Whistling rhythm]

You know, I get my whistle on,

But they might need some help.

[Whistling loudly and quickly] aah!

You ain't a car alarm. Slow down.

Now, blow.

[Whistles weakly]

Let me see what you got, paula.

We gonna work on that.

♪♪ Unh ♪♪

♪♪ Nick cannon ♪♪

♪♪ Nick cannon ♪♪

Yo, "b", what's going on, money?

I'm out here.

You know, my album don't come out

For a couple more months, right?

So I decided I'll come to the beach

And get my lifeguard on.

But in order to get my lifeguard license, "b,"

They told me that I had to have, like, all, you know,

All this gear and stuff, right?

And I had to learn how to do cpr.

So come out here, "b," and see

Who gonna let francis funkel do cpr on him.

It's gonna go down, money, for real.

All right, yo, so I'm trying to get my lifeguard license, right?

I was just wondering if you would like to help me.

You want to help me get my lifeguard license?no.

What are you gonna do to me?

I'm gonna, like, give you air.

No, thanks. You sure?

Yes. Because all i--

You sure? Because I just--

Why is everybody-- don't nobody want me to give them air?

I was wondering if I could give y'all cpr.

Can I give y'all cpr?no.

Are you a rapper and a lifeguard?

A rap--it's the first time it's ever happened in history.

Money, it's, like, I'm a rapping lifeguard.

You know what I'm saying? It's hot.

♪♪ I save lives, and I'll take you out, like, twice ♪♪

♪♪ Open your eyes because francis funkel is in the place to be ♪♪

♪♪ And I'm gonna save your l-i-f-e ♪♪

Word.

Can I do cpr on you?

No, man. I got work right now.

Oh, yo, "b," what you listening to, money?

What's that?

Can I hear that, "b?&Quot;

Yo, "b.&Quot; what's that, money?

Ok, a little frank sinatra.

Hey, you want me to help you with some of that? Yo.

See, I got to help the people.

For real. There you go. You got it?

Now can I do the cpr? No!

I don't really know how to do it, but I can figure it out.

You're not going to do mouth-to-mouth, are you?

Yeah, mouth-to-mouth just--no. Wait.

Cpr? Please? What's wrong?

Somebody's gonna let me do cpr on them for real, money.

We're gonna figure it out. Come on, "b.&Quot;

Hey, this is a real lifeguard, "b.&Quot;

What's going on, money?

You know, I'm trying to be like you, money,

And get my lifeguard license.

Money, and I'm trying, you know.

I'm just trying to find some people that'll let me do cpr

So I can get all my hours in.

Can you teach me the procedures of cpr, "b?&Quot;

So, what's first, money?

We got to make sure she's not breathing.ok.

Real close. Well...

She's not--tilt her head now.

Oh, ok.give her breaths.

Do I close the nose?

Close--ok.

Close the nose and breaths. Breaths.

Crowd: oh!

She's not breathing still!

See if she has a pulse.

You got a pulse?

I think she needs more breaths.

No. Now we got to go to cpr.

So, ok, where's cpr?

Right there.

Right here? Like a karate chop, "b?&Quot;

Yeah!

Everybody, pay attention.

This is a valuable lesson right here, "b,"

Just in case, like, one of y'all go into the pool

And hit your head or something.

Ok, ok. How many?

. .

I can't count that high, money., , , , --

Oh, hey!

♪♪ Go! Go! ♪♪

♪♪ Unh, one ♪♪

♪♪ Unh, do the squat ♪♪

♪♪ Unh ♪♪

Go ahead, stop. Breaths.

Breaths, "b.&Quot; you ready?

Crowd: oh!

She's breathing, "b!&Quot;

She's alive!

For real, "b"!

Yeah, yeah!

Making it happen, money.

Francis funkel putting it down, money.

♪♪ Nick, nick cannon ♪♪

♪♪ Nick... ♪♪

Bacon bits.

Sour cream.

♪♪ Nick cannon... ♪♪

Stay tuned because it's about to get messy. Eww!

♪♪ Nick ♪♪

♪♪ Nick, nick cannon ♪♪

I didn't mean to wake you. I didn't, you know.

How you stare straight into the sun?

I don't know. I'm just used to it.

So, what's, like, the best tanning technique?

Get a lot of oil, then get music,

And go out when you're really, really tired

So you can just fall asleep.

You ever, like, stay out in the sun too long and get crispy?

Yep.

So, you're out here tanning?

So, you're out here tanning?

I'm trying to, yeah.

What's the best tanning technique?

Maui.

So, you're out here tanning?

I'm just kicking back, catching some rays.

Catching some rays. Is that healthy to catch rays?

They say it's not.

You got a nice golden thing going on right here, so--

You want to get any darker than this?

Yeah, I'd like to.

About an hour, you're gonna look like me.

So, you guys out here tanning?

Yes, we are. We're enjoying the weather.

So, cool. You know, you have any tanning technique?

Oh, not really.

Just put a lot of sunscreen on.

My mother's cooking, and she's trying to get the food

A little darker and stuff,

She uses butter.

Yes.

Now, are you out here trying to tan?

No, I'm just looking at the bikinis.

What's the tanning technique that you have?

Sit out in the sun.

You think about putting butter on?

Can I put some butter on you?

No, thank you.

You got some tanning lotion and stuff?

You got any tanning technique?just lay in the sun.

If you're making, like, some food and stuff

And you want your food to get cooked real quick and get done,

You put butter on it. You want to try?

All right. Go ahead. Rub it in, dog.

Yeah, it's tasty. You get a tasty tan.

You got any special tanning technique?

No, I just put on some of this stuff, you know.

Ok. Well, hey, what if I told you

I had the best tanning technique for you?

Are you with it? Can I help you out?

Yeah, yeah.

You're gonna be, like, golden brown.

Yeah, that'd be hot.

All right. Cool. Cool.

So, just bear with me, all right? Go ahead. Lay back.

You might even want to close your eyes. Go ahead.

Close my eyes?

Yeah. Make it happen.

Lay back. Relax.

Oh, that's cold.

Oh, don't worry.

It's good stuff.

Don't worry. It's all good.

Right there. There you go.

A little chive.

Bacon bits.

Sour cream.

Hopefully, you won't split down the middle in about an hour.

I've attempted this many a time.

Get it all down there. Get it all down there.

Looks good, too. You gonna be golden brown, player.

You baked potato-like.

Tuck that in there like that.

So, how you feel?

Nice.

Very good for the skin. Golden brown.

In about an hour and a half, you'll be done.

Yeah, it is tasty.

Dining and tanning at the same time.

Kids, make sure you try this.

♪♪ Nick, nick cannon ♪♪

♪♪ Nick cannon ♪♪

Now, maybe you guys heard of a place called muscle beach.

That's where body builders go and lift weights on the beach and everything like that.

But I thought there should be a place on the beach

Where cats like me can come and hang out

And do a couple of exercises

Without people picking on them saying

They out of shape or too skinny or stuff like that,

So I like to call my place "no muscle beach.&Quot;

Hey, hey, hey, hold up. This is no muscle beach.

Let's see if you can come in here.

Come on in, player.

Ooh, that's heavy.

Tough can.

That must be that new aluminum.

I dented it.dang. All right.

Keep it up. You know, do more of those.

That's what I'm talking about, baby.

No muscle beach.

This is where we come and get our swoll on.

Hey, hey.

Whoa, whoa! Slow up, biff and stiff.

Where y'all think you going?

We're headed to the beach, man.

Didn't you see the signs?

No muscle beach.

Y'all too big to come up in here.

Fellas, they causing problems.

We don't want no trouble, man. Let's go, man.

Wait! Wait! Before y'all go,

Can one of y'all open this for me?

Open the water, man, please?

Lose some weight, you come back.

And under.

No muscle beach.

Come on. Flex for them, y'all.

They don't want none.

What happened to the little guy?

The wind take you away, player?

We gonna get you some cement shoes or something.

Put some rocks in your pocket.

♪♪ Nick cannon ♪♪

♪♪ Nick cannon ♪♪

Yo, so, another fun activity when you're at the beach

Is metal detecting.

We out here looking for stuff.

You know, there's a lot of competition out here

When you searching for metal.

And my man over here-- over here--

Is searching for some metal, too.

Let's go talk to him, see if he found anything yet.

I haven't found anything yet.

Have you found anything?yeah, I found a penny.

You find anything out here yet, sir?

I just found a quarter right now just walking out here.

What's the best thing--you found those rings?

$,? You found just--

That's what the jeweler said it was worth over.

Yeah, I found probably about $, in rings.

So there's big money in the sand? Yeah.

I need one of those little--

Those look like french frier things.

There you go.

Oh.

That stuff belongs to people.

How can I find them to give it to them?

Maybe there's, like, a people finder.

You maybe get a people finder.

Maybe so.

And go find the people who the stuff belongs to.

I'm gonna go detect, see if I can find me some more metal.

But it was a pleasure meeting you.

Pleasure meeting y'all. All right.

Peace out.

[Beeping rapidly]

The bird had a metal plate in his head.

Wait.

I think I got something, you guys.

[Beeping rapidly]

Man!

You guys aren't metal.

You're heavy metal.

See what you can find at the beach?

Metal detecting.

I've been walking a lot today.

I feel like a whole lot of sand in my shoe.

♪♪ Nick, nick, nick, nick, nick ♪♪

Man, the beach is a great place to be.

I want to thank my man benji

For teaching me how to surf,

All the lifeguards,

And, of course, all the people

Who played along with me today.

And I definitely want to thank the sand, the ocean.

I want to thank the sun for coming out and representing. We had a great show.

Y'all catch us next time, baby.

The nick cannon show-- taking over.

Hey.

♪♪ We taking over ♪♪

♪♪ Come on! ♪♪

♪♪ Ain't no party like a nick cannon party ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause a nick cannon party don't stop ♪♪

♪♪ Ain't no party like a nick cannon party ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause a nick cannon party don't stop ♪♪

♪♪ Do my ladies take this party over? ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, yeah! ♪♪

♪♪ Or do my dogs take this party over? ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, yeah! ♪♪

♪♪ Ain't no party like a nick cannon party ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause a nick cannon party don't stop ♪♪

♪♪ Ain't no party like a nick cannon party ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause a nick cannon party don't stop ♪♪

♪♪ Ain't no party like a nick cannon party ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause a nick cannon party don't stop ♪♪

♪♪ Do my ladies take this party over? ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, yeah! ♪♪

♪♪ Or do my dogs take this... ♪♪

♪♪ Come on! ♪♪

♪♪ Ain't no party like a nick cannon party ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause a nick cannon party don't stop ♪♪

♪♪ Ain't no party like a nick cannon party ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause a nick cannon party don't stop ♪♪

♪♪ Do my ladies take this party over? ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, yeah! ♪♪

♪♪ Or do my dogs take this party over? ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, yeah! ♪♪

We taking over.