02x19 - Oh, Baby, It's the Playoffs

[bunniefuu]

- A pancake breakfast
to celebrate us

getting into the playoffs.

This is amazing, you guys.

- Oh, uh, can I
have a waffle?

- Uh, this is a pancake
breakfast.

- But I like waffles.

They have little holes
to catch the syrup. Ha.

- All right, I'll make
you a waffle.

- Oh, great.

- Enjoy!

- Thanks.

- Whoa, looks like
someone's carbo-loading

to get extra energy
for the playoff game.

- Actually, this is
my normal breakfast.

But you're right.
I should be carbo-loading.

Hope it's not too late.

Oh! More pancakes, please.

Actually,
I'll serve myself.

- Big week, guys.
Check it.

I got my driver's
permit! Sure!

And I get to play in my first
playoff game. Booya!

- And I get to eat real bacon.

My stepmom Brenda
only serves tofacon.

- What's that?
- Bacon made of tofu.

And lies.

[sniffing]
Mmmmm!

You don't lie,
now do you, baby?

[crunching]
Oh...

- I can't watch this.

Hey, Mrs. Silverstein.
How are you feeling?

- Great. Ooh!

Except this baby's using
my bladder as a pillow.

So I'm going to
the bathroom again.

Pregnancy is so glamorous!

- BELLA: Pepper,
your mom is so cute.

I can't wait to help you throw
that baby shower on Saturday.

- Oh, I know.

It's gonna be the perfect
way to welcome

my baby brother
into the world.

- [whistle shrills]
- Listen up!

There's a severe weather
advisory for Friday,

so we're moving the playoff
game to Saturday night.

- BELLA: What?
- SAWYER: Yes!

Another day to carbo-load.

Now I have time for syrup.
Thank you, weatherman.

- But Saturday
is the baby shower.

Bella, we've been
planning this for weeks.

You're going to be
there, right?

- Totally!

- But you're playing
in the game, right?

- Totally!

- You're just
saying "totally"

'cause you have no idea
what to do, right?

- Totally.

- ♪

- ♪ You won't find
me in the bleachers ♪

- ♪ Yeah that girl
is one of us ♪

- ♪ I'm made of spice
and sugar ♪

- ♪ She's pretty...
she's pretty tough ♪

- ♪ Then add
a little glitter ♪

- ♪ She off in
a cloud of dust ♪

- ♪ And you get...
you get... ♪

- ♪ A game changer,
play maker ♪

♪ Take the ball,
she'll see ya later ♪

- ♪ I'm on a dreamlike,
teamlike ♪

♪ Livin' like
one of the boys ♪

- ♪ She got it goin', goin',
she got it goin' on ♪

- ♪ Play like Friday night

♪ Kickin' like
one of the boys ♪

- ♪ She got it goin', goin',
she got it goin' on ♪

- ♪ One of the boys ♪

- ♪

- Pepper, I really wanna help
you with the baby shower.

But this is the playoffs.

I didn't get to
play last year,

and I may never get
the chance again.

- I know and we're supposed
to be there to cheer you on.

- Right. So, let's ask
your mom to move

the date of the baby shower.

- Forget ask. Tell.
This is the playoffs.

Be firm.
- Firm. Got it.

Mommy! Uh...um...

We just found out the playoff
game is Saturday.

Would it be at all possible

to move the baby
shower to Sunday?

- Oh, honey, I'm sorry,

but this has been
planned for months.

People are flying
in from out of town.

Do you really want your Aunt
Gladys to pay a change fee?

- No. She's mean
and has a moustache.

- Thank you for
understanding.

- What are we gonna do?

- Wait, I have an idea.

Everybody huddle up.
Okay, here's the game plan.

We're going to run
a hurry-up offense.

We'll cram all the fun
of a two-hour party

into one concentrated hour.

It'll be fast,
it'll be fabulous,

and we'll get to the game with
plenty of time to spare.

Hands in.
Shabooya on three.

One, two, three!
- ALL: Shabooya!

- Wow, so that's
what it feels like

to be in a huddle with you.
- It's weird.

But I feel super motivated to
tackle someone right now.

- Don't you always
feel like that?

- Huh, pretty much.

- ♪

- You'll never believe
what happened.

I was eating the pancakes
I took home yesterday and...

incredible, right?

- I'm sorry, what are
we looking at?

- Drake, dude.

The pancake looks just
like Drake--the rapper.

- I know who Drake is.
- Oh.

- And no.

- Hey, guys. Oh, Drake.
Awesome.

Anyway, uh, Troy,
I just saw Niecy Johnson

in the parking lot.
- Niecy Johnson?

How do I look?

sh**t, I always look good.
Excuse me.

- He's right.
He always looks great.

- Niecy's not really outside.

That was just an excuse
to get Troy out of here.

Look at this.
- Whoa!

A real newspaper
did a story on the team?

- Yeah, and it predicts that
we're gonna lose the playoffs.

- What? Why?
- Because of Troy.

It says every time Troy plays
the Red Devils, he chokes.

And that's the nicest
thing they say about him.

We can't let him see this.
It would destroy his confidence.

- I don't know.
Troy's ego is huge.

Some article isn't
gonna bother him.

- Mm, I beg to differ.

Remember when the school
newspaper insulted

his breakdancing at
the school talent show?

He never popped
or locked again.

[sighing]

- Our loss.
- And the world's.

- That was a school newspaper.

Imagine what happens
when he reads

something from
a real newspaper?

- Right before the playoffs.
Not good.

We have to gather
the rest of these

and get rid of them
before Troy sees them.

- Hey!
- Are you--

- Sorry, ma'am.

- Niecy wasn't out there.

What are you doing
with those newspapers?

- Just collecting coupons
for this great sale.

- Pantyhose?

- Uh, yeah.
Yeah, pantyhose.

Trying to decide between
regular or control top.

- Come on, Sawyer.

They're on sale.
Get both.

- ♪

- Oh, girls, thank you
so much for this.

Everything looks beautiful.

- You're welcome.

- Okay, I budgeted 60 minutes
for the baby shower

and 30 minutes to
get to the game.

We're already


but we can't start until
all the guests get here.

- Who are we waiting on?
- My mom's co-worker, Marcy.

She's the worst.

She was once late for
a meeting about lateness.

- Oh, hi! Sorry, I'm late.

You'll never believe
what happened.

- Ah, you're Miss Richards.
Come on, Marcy, sit down.

- Okay.

- Hello, ladies and welcome to
the Silverstein baby shower.

We're going to hit the ground
running with our first activity.

- Painting baby bibs.
- SOPHIE: Uh-huh.

All right, get going people.
Don't think, just paint.

Here you go.

- Okay, time's up, everybody.
Stop painting.

- But so soon?

But my baby doesn't
have a mouth.

- Good. Then it can't cry.
Hand them in, people.

- Okay, for our next game this
little guy lost his pacifier.

- Oh, no!

- It's hidden somewhere
in this room.

- Where could it be?
- Get searching.

This isn't moving fast enough.
We need to motivate them.

Is there anything we could
give them as a prize?

- Ooh! I know
the perfect thing.

- Um, the...there will
be an amazing prize

for the first person
to find it.

It's...it's...
wait for it.

- A blender!
Chops, mixes, dices.

For smoothies and shakes.

- I have one just like that.

- Not anymore.

- Get out of my way!
That blender is mine!

- Come on, Gladys!
- BELLA: Oh, no.

This really isn't happening
for Aunt Gladys.

- PEPPER:
What are we gonna do?

We have seven minutes
to break this piñata

and get back on track.

- I got this.

- ALL: [cheering]

- You did it!
Great job, Aunt Gladys.

- I still got it!

- Sophie for the win.

- Hey, thank you for doing
that for Aunt Gladys.

She's such a sweet old lady.

- Oh! Get away from my
butterscotch, you vultures, you!

Get away!

- Okay, I got rid of
all the newspapers

from the ice cream store
and the comic book shop.

How'd you do?

- I went to the grocery store
and the public library.

- Troy doesn't go to
the public library.

- Exactly.

That's why I dumped all
the newspapers there.

- Smart.

- Who's ready to crush
the Red Devils?

- ALL: [applauding]
Yeah!

- Not strong enough.

Who's ready to obliterate
the Red Devils?

- ALL: Yeah! Whoo!
- Yeah.

- Troy is good to go.
Mission accomplished, buddy.

- Thanks, Sawyer.
We make a pretty good team.

- Yeah, we do.
Sawyer and Newt.

Newt and Sawyer.
Newter!

- Oh, no, please
don't call us that.

- Those Red Devils
are going down!

Right, Coach?

- Oh, that's what I like
to see, Dixon.

Not letting that Silverado
Weekly article get you down.

Way to be a leader.
- Thank you.

Wait, what Silverado
Weekly article?

- Uh, that article about,
uh...global warming.

- Yeah, yeah,
really got me down.

The world's an oven
and we're cookin' in it.

A shame.

- "Receiver Troy Dixon has
a tendency to let the pressure

"get to him when the Bulldogs
play the Red Devils.

"The last two times
the teams met, he choked.

This time should
be no different."

- Don't listen to them, Troy.

- Yeah, they don't know what
they're talking about.

That newspaper is nothing
but a big ad for pantyhose.

- "For a supposed team leader,

the only thing Dixon will lead
the Bulldogs to is defeat."

Why would they say about me?

- Oh, you know the media.

Always biased against really
attractive people.

- Like you, Troy.

He's saying you're attractive.
Focus on that.

- Of course, I am.
It's not about that.

That newspaper totally
took me down.

It's like the school talent
show all over again.

I feel weird.

I think I'm gonna throw up.
[retches]

I haven't thrown up since
the second grade.

I don't even remember
how it works.

[retches]

Nothing's coming out.
[retches]

The Troy is broken.
[retching]

- [retches]

- Loved having ya.
- Bye.

- Drive safe.
- Bye.

- [door slamming]

- Okay, we did it
and we still have...


the kickoff.

- Girls, thank you so much for
that whirlwind of a party.

Now go get to that--game!

- Mom, are you okay?

- Ooh, well, I know that I am
not due for another three weeks,

but, uh, something feels
kind of different.

And I just...oh, I think I might
be having this baby today.

- Pepper, maybe you should
call your dad.

- I'm trying.

He's fishing and there's
no reception on the lake.

- Ooh! Okay,
get ready, girls,

because if you can't
get ahold of him soon,

you might be
delivering this baby.

- Wait, wait, wait...us?

Deliver the...the...
the...whoa!

[heavy thud]

- Uh-oh.
- Don't worry, Bella.

Go to the game.
I got this.

I'll just hold
down the fort.

I'll somehow
revive Sophie.

I'll read how to
deliver a baby online

and... [wheezing]

and then I'll figure
out how to stop myself

from hyperventilating.
[wheezing]

I'll be...
[wheezing] fine.

- Right now being
here is more important

than getting to a game on time,
even a playoff game.

I'm not going anywhere.

- [wheezing] Bella,
you're...the...best.

- PEPPER's MOM: Ohhh!
- PEPPER: [wheezing]

- Ooh! A butterscotch.

- ♪

- Okay, the situation
is under control.

I found your dad.

Well, technically,
I called the bait shop

and they're sending a guy
on a jet ski to get him.

He'll be here in
a half an hour.

Your...your dad,
not the guy on the jet ski.

- Oh, good.

Okay, well, when he gets here,
you girls can go to the game.

- Thanks.

If all goes as planned I'll
only miss the first quarter.

I'm gonna call Coach
and give him a heads up.

- So I really passed out?

- You really did.

- Did I at least pass out
in a cool way?

- It was, by far, the coolest
pass out I have ever seen.

[silently] No.

- It's nothing to do with me.
It's not my fault.

It happens to me every time
I go on the field.

Everybody's going to see.
What am I supposed to do?

- If Troy goes out on the field
like this, we're dead.

What do we do?
- Hmm.

First thing I can think
of is punching him.

But...that sounds wrong.

- Troy, you have to forget
about that article.

- I can't.

You heard what that
writer said about me.

I'm gonna go out there
and choke.

- People say things they
don't mean all the time.

"I love vegetables."
"I floss every day."

"Oh, don't listen to
them, Brenda.

That dress is totally
appropriate for church."

- I'm doomed.
And so is this team.

You can say goodbye
to the championship.

- We're in big trouble.
- Okay, let's not panic.

I'm sure Bella will fix things
as soon as she gets here.

- Listen up, team.

I just got off the phone
with Bella.

She got held up.

She probably won't be
here until half time.

- What?
- If she gets here at all.

- Oh, okay, now I'm
gonna panic.

- Dixon, you're playing
quarterback.

- Uh, bad idea, Coach.

Unless you want to lose this
game because I am a choker.

- I thought the article
didn't affect him.

- Well, it did.

Now we only have two
minutes until the game

and our only QB
is doing...that.

- Uh, all right, uh...
we can fix this.

Let me think.

- What would Bella do?

- Probably give Troy one of
her trademark pep talks.

- I can try.

All right, guys, huddle up.

Teamwork!
You can do this, Troy.

Kittens, rainbows,
unicorns, shabooyahs.

Sorry, guys, I really thought
I'd be better at this.

- What do we do, Coach?

- New plan.

Let's get him on the field,
see if he plays.

- I'll grab his feet.
- I'll get the door.

- Move it, move it,
move it.

- SPECTATORS: [cheering]
- [whistle shrills]

- Okay, it says here to stay
hydrated and keep moving.

Also, if labor occurs
on the airplane

the pilot should land
immediately.

So don't plan any Hawaiian
vacations in the next few hours.

- [groans]
- Right, not the time for jokes.

Sophie, did you get
the chilled washcloth?

- Yep. Works great.

- Sophie, that's for
Mrs. Silverstein.

- I'm sorry, was she
the one that fainted?

Fine, I'll go get
her another one. Yeah.

- I grabbed some things
for the hospital.

Technically everything.
I grabbed it all.

- Is that my wedding dress?

- I don't know.
It caught my eye.

- Pepper, have you heard
from your dad?

Shouldn't he be here by now?
- Ohhhhh!

We can't wait
for my husband.

- Oh, okay.
I'll call an ambulance.

- No, there's no time.
This baby is coming.

We need to leave now.
How am I going to--

- Okay, I...I just got
my driver's permit.

I can drive to
the hospital

as long as there's
an adult in the car.

- Haven't you had only
one driving class?

- Technically,
one and a half.

- Works for me!
Let's go!

Go, go, go!

- Man, Troy is a mess.

- TROY: Oh...

- He hasn't completed
a single pass.

- Except to the other
team...twice.

- I'm starting to wonder
if he should sit on the bench

and you should go out there
and give it a whirl.

- Let's not get
carried away.

- Okay, Bulldogs, I know
this looks bad now,

but we're only down
by two touchdowns.

- Yeah, so far.

- Dixon, shake it off.

This is football.

- [whining]
Oh, it won't shake off.

- Coach, I got this.
Troy--

- Look, whatever
stupid pep talk

you're gonna give me,
it's not gonna work.

- I'm not gonna give
you a pep talk.

The Silverado Weekly printed
a response to the last article.

"It has come to
our attention

"that Troy Dixon was treated
unfairly by this publication.

"Since previous games
against the Red Devils,

"Dixon has grown
and proven himself

in high pressure situations."

- Wait, let me see that.
Whoa! No way.

They called me a skilled athlete
with a bright future and...

a game changer.

- Did they mention me?
- Not about you, Sawyer.

- They even called
me...Clutch.

- Well, you are a clutch.

How many game-winning
touchdowns have you caught?

- Troy, it's true.

Whenever there is
a game on the line

everyone wants you
to get the ball.

Even me and I'm pretty
good at catching.

- Again, not about
you, Sawyer.

- You know what?
Maybe I am Clutch.

Why did I let this
article get to me?

- It doesn't matter.
You're past that now.

Let's go out there and see
if we can make a comeback.

- That's right.
Let's win this.

- COACH: [chuckles]
- Listen up!

From now on, my nickname isn't
The Troy, it's Clutch Dixon.

Hoorah!

- ALL: Hoorah!
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!

- It's a good thing
you found that article.

What a stroke of luck.

- It wasn't luck.
It was fake.

I wrote it on the bench, then
screen grabbed their website

and pasted in the new text.

- [chuckling]
Nice work, Newt.

Hoorah!

- I wish someone would write
something nice about me.

- Oh, I forgot to read
this bottom part.

- "Sawyer is a great
player, too."

- I know that was fake.

But still felt good.

- [horn blaring]
- ALL: [gasping]

- Bella!
- Relax, Sophie.

I'm nailing this.

That guy just gave me
a thumbs up.

Hi! [laughing]
- That was a hitchhiker, Bella.

- [horn blaring]
- Ah, watch out!

- [tires screeching]
- Stop it, Sophie!

You're making Bella nervous.
- Bella, you're doing great.

The hospital is over there,
so just turn--ohhhh!

- PEPPER: Mom!

- She's gonna have
the baby in this car

and I'm freaking out!

- I'm in the fast lane for the
first time and I'm freaking out!

Hold on to your
seatbelts, ladies.

- Come on, Mom.
Do your breathing exercises.

It'll calm you down.

- [panting]
It's working.

- Oh, if it works for you,
I'll try some of that.

- SOPHIE: Me, too.
- ALL: Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!

Hee! Hee! Hee!
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!

Hee! Hee! Hee!
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!

- [brakes screeching]
- ALL: [panting]

- BELLA: We're here! Ah!

- SOPHIE: Pregnant lady
coming through!

- BELLA: Good luck,
Mrs. Silverstein!

Ah, let's get to that game.
- Wait!

Don't you need to park
the car first?

- I can't. I don't have
an adult with me.

Besides, I haven't learned
how to park yet.

Thank you!

- ♪

- Go get 'em, mama!

- I'm here! I made it!

- ♪

- Ooh!
- [horn blaring]

- [heavy sigh]
That's the game.

Bulldogs lose 20-16.

- I missed it.

- [whistle shrills]

- Hold on, there's a penalty
on the play.

- Pass interference
on the Red Devils.

Put five seconds back
on the clock.

First down, Bulldogs.

- SPECTATORS: [cheering]

- I can't believe
what I'm seeing.

The game can't end on
a defensive penalty.

So the Bulldogs have
one more shot.

- Yes! I get to play
in a playoff game.

- Bella!
- We missed you!

- Where have you been?
- Long story.

Let's talk after
we win this game.

We have one last shot.

- Think we can pull this off?
- I know we can.

As long as we do
it together.

Woo! Now that's how
you give a pep talk.

- Okay, I think I know
the perfect play.

- ♪

- BELLA: Set. Ready? Ready?

Hut!

- ♪

- [whistle shrills]
- Yeah!

- Bulldogs win!
Bulldogs win!

For the first time
in ten years,

Bulldogs win
the championship!

- BELLA: That was
the best game ever!

- TROY: Good thing you didn't
see the first half.

- Whoo!
- Well, we did it, Sawyer.

We won the game for
the Bulldogs.

- Yeah, we did.
Newter! Newter!

- No! No, no!

- Newter! Newter!
- No one call us that.

That's not a thing.

Bulldogs! Bulldogs!
Bulldogs!

- Bulldogs!
- ALL: Bulldogs! Bulldogs!

- ♪

- Here he is.

- Meet baby Theo.

- SOPHIE: Oh...

- Oh, what do you think
of his jersey?

- I think it goes
perfectly with this.

- Aw...
- He's so cute.

- He is so sweet.

- I love him.

- Look how cute he is with
his little smooshed face.

- Not as smooshed
as your car.

Sorry, Mrs. Silverstein.

Next time I will use
the parking brake.

- Oh, honey,
I don't think I'll be

getting in the car again
with you until you're 45.

- PEPPER: Same here.
- SOPHIE: Totally.

- Oh, also, you girls
owe me a blender.

- No problem.
How much do those cost?

- Three hundred dollars.

- Three...
[heavy thud]

- ♪

- ♪