01x03 - The Wall

[bunniefuu]

Good evening, madam.

Lovely evening isn't it, madam?

Good evening, sir.

I'll park sir's car for sir,
sir.

Thank you, sir.

Very good, sir.

Madam, can I take Madam's hand
from Madam, madam?

Have a good night, sir.

Thank you, sir.

Here we go, madam.

Frank. Frank, she's not out
of the car, Frank.

She's not out of the car.

You stupid, stupid dickhead.

Good evening, sir.
Welcome, sir.

Hey, Mitchell.
G'day, Mitchell.

Frank, Haha it's Mitchell.

Oh, G'day, Mitchell.

How are you?

Cole, Frank.
We live next door to you.

How are you going?

Terrific.

No, just park the car.

There's a good boy.

All right.

Good to catch up, Mitchie

Aww, 20 cents short.

Oh, Mitchell's got plenty of
change.

We've got to go, Cole.

There's some cars waiting, but-

I don't think you
should have taken that money.

It's got a whole pile of change.

You won't miss 20 cents.

It's 20 cents missing
from my console.

Do you two know
anything about this?

No.

We can do this one or two ways.

You can admit to stealing
the 20 cents, hand it back,

no more need be seen, or
I can call security,!

And they can sort it out.

Don't call security.

We'll get fired.

Okay, we took the 20 cents.

Security.

You said no.

♪ I got the feeling,
got a bit of an inkling ♪

♪ This is going to be
one of those days ♪

♪ This is a show all about me
-And me ♪

♪ and all the things I do
and all the things I see ♪

♪ and also what I see ♪

♪ I got the feeling,
got a bit of an inkling ♪

♪ as long as we're together, ♪

♪ it'll be okay ♪

I can't believe we
got fired again.

What a bully that Mitchell
turned out to be.

What a pathetic bully.

I hate bullies.

Are you listening to me?

When I'm talking to somebody,
I expect them to look at me.

All right?

Got enough money to pay
this month's rent, but I don't

know what we're going
to do next month.

This pen!

It's all right, Frank.
Don't cry.

It's just a pen.
It's not that.

When you mentioned next
month, it reminded me.

Next month is

February.

[cries]

Frank, it's all right.

[cries]

He's born on the

He doesn't get
a birthday this year.

Come on, Frank.

Look on the bright side.

Because you're born
in a leap year, technically,

you're still only seven.

You can still play
under-8s basketball.

You can win the best
and fairest every year.

You can be the rebound king.

Those little kids
wouldn't stand a chance.

It's just not fair.

Once every four years, it's
too long.

It's too long!

I know, Frank.

We'll have a party anyway.

Frank, we'll celebrate
it on the 28th.

The 28th?

The 28th?

Don't patronize me.

I don't want
somebody else's birthday.

The 28th.

People like you make me sick.

You just don't understand.

Frank, it's better than nothing.

Us 29thers have feelings, mate.

We have our principles.

It'll be fun.

-We have our dignity.
-We're going to have cake.

What sort of cake?

Chocolate.

All right, why not?

I'm going to have a party.

I've never had a party before.

I'm going to have a party.

I'm going to have a party.

I'm going to have a I'm
going to have a party.

I'm going to have a party.

I'm going to have a party.

I'm going to have a party.

Hey, can I borrow
your pen, please?

-Certainly.
-Thanks.

Ah, listen, there's something
I have to tell you.

I'm very sorry. You guys seem so
nice and-

This pen doesn't work either.

I hate this part of my job.

It's about your flat.

You see, your lease...

[clink]

I'll get it.

[slam]

Ow!

ohh

Frank.

Frank, what are you doing?

You're not jumping high enough.

Give me a go.

Ow!

Haha, got it.

It's working.

Right.

Tomorrow, you are having
an inspection by your landlord

because your lease
runs out in a week.

And guess what?

Your landlord is only
going to renew one

of the two front flats
because he wants his cousin

to move into the other one.

So I think you or Mitchell
Hawthorn will be evicted.

Mitchell is one of the

best tenants we have ever had.

So good luck.

Ha!

What an illogical mood swing.

But we can't get evicted, Cole.

What about my party?

Frank, we're going
to be on the streets.

Your party is the least
of our problems.

But I've never had a party.

I was going...

[derisive snort]

[snorts]

[snorts]

[door closes]

[snort]

[snort]

[bang]

[vacuum hum]

[vacuum hum]

[clogged vacuum]

It's no use, Frank.

Hey, we can't give up.

We don't know that
the landlord is going

to choose Mitchell over us.

I mean, we've lived here
nearly 10 years, and he only

moved in a year ago.
I am I'm sure that Mr. Wilson

will feel some loyalty
to you and me.

Oh, yeah.

And you'll probably
drop the rent, too.

Do you really think he will?

Oh, yeah.

And you'll completely
renovate the whole apartment.

Hey, are you being sarcastic?

Oh, yeah.

I'm being really sarcastic.

Hang on.
That doesn't make any sense.

You should have said, you should
have said,

No, I'm not being sarcastic.

You can't say, Yeah,

I'm being really sarcastic.

Sarcastically,
that's really- that's wrong.

That doesn't make any sense.

Oh, well, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I'm not perfect.

I'm sorry that I haven't
mastered sarcasm.

I mean, you're so fantastic,
and I'm so stupid.

I mean, you're the man that
everybody thinks is fantastic,

and I'm just a little man
that calls around on the ground

like a little ant.
You're so good.

I'm so bad.
Help me.

You're the best
man in the world.

I'm just a little man
running around like a dickhead.

And what are you?
You're the best.

Help me.
You're the man. Everybody
thinks...

[slaps]

Thank you.

We may as well try
to clean up the flat, Cole.

I think we should
give it our best shot.

[upbeat music]

A basketball.

A thank you.

A ping-pong, a ba*ls.

A thank you.

A dart board.

A thank you.

A darts.

Ah!

A Frank, can you come and put
your p*nis in this door frame

for me, please?

Well, this looks
terrific, I think.

You know, Frank,
I think we might be in

with a bit of a chance.

You may get to have
your party after all.

You know what I'd really like?

A surprise party.

Could you organize one
of those for me, please?

And make sure you tell me
which night it's on so I know

to turn up at the right time
so I get a really big surprise.

Okay.

We missed this dart.

Oh, that's not good.

That's not good at all.

We'll have to patch that.

Don't worry about it.

You can hardly even see it.

You know what Mr. Wilson's like?

He's the fussiest landlord
you can get.

He's got an eagle eye.

He'll see that hole as soon
as he walks in the door.

You know what I've always
thought is really strange

about Mr.
Wilson?

When he comes over,
he never says anything.

Yeah, that's
because he's a mute.

Ohh

What's a mute?

He's a mute. He can't talk.

Ohhh

What do you mean?

For some reason,
he is unable to speak.

Ah

No, I'm still not clear
on this whole mute business.

He's a mute.
He's dumb.

Yeah, well, I'm dumb, too,
but at least I'm polite enough

to speak to people.

Look, I'm going to go down
in shops and get some plaster

to patch the hole.

You stay here and
don't touch anything.

Don't touch a thing.

[door closes]

I said, Don't touch a thing.

[singing]

Done.

All righty.

It could be a bit smoother.

I wish that hadn't happened.

Come on, Frank.

We can deal with this.
This is simple.

Let's not panic.

As my father always
used to say, the early bird

catches the worm.

How does that relate to this?

Well, the first bird
up, the worms are his.

Yes, but I don't see
the connection with our problem.

If you're up before the other
birds,

you won't go hungry.

Yes.
I don't know.

I'm just trying to be positive.

My father said it,
it related to something,

and made me feel good.

Can we just go with it?

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

[slam]

Who was there?

I think it was Mr. Wilson.

Okay, Frank.

Yeah, you do.

What the hell are you doing?

How are you going to fix it now?

It's as big as a basketball.

No way.

It's nowhere near as big
as a basketball.

You don't know what
you're talking about.

Look, I'll prove it.

Look, see, it's
nowhere near as big as a...

umm, it's lodged.

It's gone in.

♪ I wish that hadn't ♪

♪ happened ♪

hold it, hold it.

If you push too hard,
the ball will go through

the plaster on the other side.

I'll have to go into
the next room and put my weight

against the wall as a brace.

I just remembered,
we haven't got a next room,

so the room on the other side

must be Mitchell's Lounge-

♪ roooo ♪

[knocks on door]

Yes.

Hi...Hi.

Um

I

I thought that, Um

Yes.

I should come over and

apologize for all

You know that business

with the 20 cents.

I thought that. Um

Well, I'm sorry.

Yes.

Well, that's all very
nice, but I'm just

on my way out with friends.

It's my birthday,
and I'm going out to lunch.

It's your birthday?

For he's your jolly good fellow,
for he's a jolly good fellow,

for he's a jolly good fellow.

And so say all of us,
and so say all of us, and so

say happy birthday, Mitchell.

Yes.

I'm afraid.

Oh, nice mask.

scary.

I'm afraid that you're

going to have to leave.

I'm already late.

Oh, no, no, please, please.

Please, Mitchell.

I think now is the time

to be honest, to be frank.

I think that we
should both be, Frank now.

I'm ready now

to push through

our problems.

I'm ready now, Mitchell.

I'm ready now!

To be, Frank now!

Now!

Get out of my house.

Now!

♪ I wish that you
hadn't happened ♪

[frustrated scream]

You idiot, this is all your
fault.

What are we going to do now?

We're going to have to
break into Mitchell's flat and

pats the wall from his side.

[grunt]

Come on.

Hurry up.

Hurry up!

[door closes]

someone's coming. somebody's
coming!

[knocks on door]

Oh, he is not at home.

It appears, apparently, that
he is not at his residence.

No, we knocked,

but he is not at home.

So let us go.
Yes.

Oh, I did not see you there.

Hello.

Hello.
Who are you?

We are Mitchell's neighbors.

We were just dropping
over to say hi.

And we were not
trying to break in.

Who are you?

I'm Mitchell's sister.

I'm just dropping the cake
over for tonight.

It's so exciting.
We're having a surprise party.

Oh, he is not there.
Oh, that's all right.

I've got a key.
You're going in there?

mmhmm

It's not easy, though.

With all these locks
and stuff, it's like Fort Knox.

Umm, nice to meet you.

Let us, go.

[frantic music]

What are you doing?

Burnies.
Burnies.

Chilly sauce, burnies. Ah! Ah!

What are you doing?

Well, it's over.

Come on, Cole.

Well, we might as
well just get out now.

I don't think we should give up.

Listen, we've got
to get straight back up

on that horse again.

I I can't even think
we've still got a chance.

Come on, Cole.

I don't know, Frank.

We gave it our best, but I don't
think our best was good enough.

And I think we'll have to move
out.

Well, maybe it's time
we found separate places.

Cole, there must be
some way out of this mess.

Oh, yeah.

What are we going to do?

Make the hole big enough
for both of us to fit through?

Patch the hole from
Mitchell's side and just

let ourselves out?

That's actually
a really good idea.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, but you were
being sarcastic then.

No, I wasn't.

[Chainsaw buzz]

[frantic music]

I don't want to sound like

I love myself, but that is

the best patching job
you will ever see.

All righty, let's go.

Cole?
Umm, a bit of a problem.

Yes, my little matey.

It's a dead locked,
and we're locked in.

[frantic music]

-Hey!
-Hey!

Hello

[blowing sound]

I'm going to have my
birthday in jail.

I don't want to go to jail.

This is all your fault.

You've always been
a bad influence on me.

You're a lawbreaker.

You're uncontrollable.

Like at school,
you hit that cricket ball up on

the roof, and what did you do?

You climbed up onto the roof
and you got it down.

Yeah, so?

You were meant to get
a teacher or at the very

least, permission.

But not you,
because you're a maniac.

You're criminally insane.

You're a psycho.

You're a psycho.

I'm stuck in here with a psycho.

Help, help, help.

Help, help.

Help, help.

[door jiggles]

over here, over here

lights, lights, lights.

Okay, as quick as you can.

He's coming.
Quick.

Hide.
He's coming.

Oh, God.

Lights, lights.

Surprise.

Surprise. Happy Birthday
Mitchell

gosh, you guys, this is the

biggest surprise I've ever had.

[blast]

[screams]

Fire! Fire!

Don't worry, Mitchell.

I'll run next door and
call the fire brigade, okay?

Thank you.

Thank you.

No problems.

[dramatic upbeat music]

It's all right.

We've managed to contain
the fire in that one flat.

There's been no real structural
damage, but the inside

is completely gutted.

Mr. Wilson, Mr. Wilson

we've been here
for nine years.

Mr. Wilson it's my birthday.

Well, as my father always

used to say, Oh, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah

[snorts]

[upbeat music]

Surprise!

Surprise!

What?

Wow!

I can't believe it.

Surprise!

Thanks, Cole.

This is great.

This is fantastic.

Here's the 28th already.

What a surprise.

A party for my birthday.

Not my real birthday, but hey,

this is great, I can't believe
it.

Speech.

Speech. Speech.

No.

All right.

Okay, well.

Come on, settle down.
A bit of shush, thanks.

Come on.
A bit of shush.

It's his night.
Give him a go.

Give him a go.

Give him a go!

I won't tell you again.

I'll go, you.

Look, everybody just
have a great night.

[upbeat music]

[outro music]