Come on, come on.
There! Head for that lighthouse,
noble reindeer.
Evening, Sants!
Thanks, Bill!
Whoa!
We made it! The last town in England.
Nearly home.
Oh, no. I thought getting here
was the hard part,
but it turns out we've got
a town full of problems,
and it's going to take a big man
with a big beard to solve them.
Hmm!
Yes, that handsome fellow
in the red onesie is me, Santa Claus.
And tonight has been a blizzard of bother.
Down to one reindeer
and the worst storm in history.
- But that wasn't going to stop me.
- Hup!
Christmas in Wellington-on-Sea
sure needed a giant sackful of fixing.
Ooh!
You're about to hear the tale
of one of the most challenging nights
of my long career.
Looking back,
I think it all started going wrong
with the school Christmas play,
December 22nd, 4:00 p.m.
Wrap up warm
and get ready for That Christmas.
And here are our unfortunate heroes.
There's the new kid in town, Danny.
Trying hard not to be seen.
Well, except by the love of his life,
Anxious Sam.
Oh. Have you seen my sister?
She's supposed to play Joseph.
Uh... no.
And finally, our local rebel, Bernadette.
Okay, kids. Time to unleash
your brilliance on the world.
A free-spirited force of nature
and director of the show.
Perfect. Gorgeous.
Three minutes to curtain.
Do not disappoint me.
Oh, Charlie. Where are you?
Don't worry, Sam, she'll show up.
We've got loads of time.
If she doesn't, you can do her part.
Here, start warming up.
Oh, no. No, no, no.
You wrote it. You know the lines
and you're identical twins.
So, from a DNA perspective,
you're basically interchangeable.
No. Wait, Bernadette. In fact,
Charlie and I are actually very different.
- Year Threes.
- Bernie, I...
Two minutes to curtain.
Yes, Ms. Trapper.
Psst. Psst!
Danny!
Where's Dad?
Hey, new boy.
What are you supposed to be?
Yeah, what are you?
I'm a chickpea.
Then why do you look like a big potato?
Uh, well...
Thirty seconds to go.
Okay. This is getting a bit serious now.
Has anyone seen Charlie?
Anyone?
Thanks for joining us, Charlie.
Show time.
Let's light this candle.
Charlie, where have you been?
I decided my character has a beard.
Is that dog's hair?
Might be.
Trust me, sis, it's gonna be a triumph.
Samantha. Bernadette.
You're on. God help us all.
Absolutely love school plays.
Said nobody, ever.
Start the Kissmass play!
Woohoo!
Children in costumes
they can barely see out of
and a steep drop,
what could possibly go wrong?
- Jesus...
- Oh, God.
...was a cool dude.
A beard, long hair, into woodwork.
A hipster, basically.
He wouldn't have wanted us to do
the same boring Christmas story
year after year, right, parents?
- Uh...
- Huh?
Exactly.
He'd want a strictly vegetarian,
multi-cultural fun fest
with lots of pop songs
and stuff about climate change,
written by our resident genius, Sam.
- Over to you.
- Uh, yes.
I thought it might be
a good idea to change things...
- Oh, uh... Great speech, Sam.
- Right.
Strap in, shape up and gird those loins
for The Three Wise Women!
Hit it, Mrs. Beccles.
Off we go, Sam. Yeah!
Harry.
Curtain up.
Oh!
After a very long journey on foot
because obviously
we don't approve of flying,
we've at last arrived in Bethlehem.
Finally.
We must find somewhere to stay
because my wife Mary is pregnant...
Oh no!
Oh...
...with a large watermelon.
Charlie!
Quality improv.
Happy birthday, Jesus
Happy birthday, Jesus
Happy birthday
Happy birthday, Jesus
There, follow that star!
Whoo! Whoa! Yeouch!
We used to be shepherds
but now we're organic vegetable farmers.
We've come to see Jesus
with our flock of broccoli,
sweetcorn, aubergines...
- Hi, Mum.
- ...and a chickpea.
And a chickpea!
Chickpea.
...who looks a bit like a potato.
Papa don't preach
I've been losing sleep
But I've made up my mind
I'm keeping my baby
Oh dear.
She's going to keep her baby.
- Oh, no...
- Oh!
Oops.
- Nice one, Teddy.
- Silence!
Change quietly then join your parents.
Yes, Ms. Trapper.
Tomorrow, sanity will return
and we will celebrate term's end
with quadruple algebra
and a lice inspection.
Huh.
Now, move!
Bye!
Well done, new kid. Nice potato.
Uh... I...
- Bye, Teddy.
- Oh, never mind.
Move up, move up.
- Hey guys, did you like the show?
- I absolutely loved it.
Sweet. All of it?
Well...
I wasn't completely sure
about all the story changes, Bernie.
Oh.
Yeah, and some of the dialogue
was a bit... modern.
That was the whole point.
What about the jokes?
I don't think Jesus and jokes
go together, dear.
So, let's get this clear.
You liked everything
except the story, dialogue and the jokes?
That only leaves the title.
Oh, yes. Hated the title.
Ugh.
Clearly the Christmas revolution
is going to have to wait, Evie.
Oh. Steady on, Basil.
Come on, keep up, tortoises.
Charlie was so late.
I've never been more terrified.
Yes, you have.
You're frightened of everything.
Am not.
Climate change, bee extinction,
bees full stop. Thursdays.
Me doing something naughty
and getting caught.
Me doing something naughty
and not getting caught.
Clowns. Safety pins. Unsafe pins.
Did I miss anything?
Infinity. There's just so much of it.
I rest my case!
Watch out, there's a big...
Charlie!
It's a very lovely town,
Wellington.
One of my favorites in all of England.
A seaside world of bicycles,
bumpy bridges, bad driving...
Into the hairpin...
...sparkly streets
and a boatload
of wonderful Christmas traditions
organized by my old pal,
Lighthouse Bill.
Looking good, chaps!
Everyone very keen on Christmas...
Evening, McNutts!
...and I mean everyone.
Ah, at last.
Okay, neighbors, abandon chariot.
I'm never setting foot
in this wretched sardine can again.
Shh, Harry.
Thanks, Driver McNutt.
My pleasure, kids.
Last school run tomorrow
then after my delightful
sister's wedding,
the Barn Family Christmas bonanza begins.
Best Christmas ever!
- See you tomorrow! Bye!
- Same Christmas, always.
Hi, Mum.
Mum?
Hi Danny, fab chickpea acting!
Sorry I had to leave.
How'd it go?
Well, it would have been better
if Dad had turned up.
And if the most beautiful
and cleverest girl on Earth
hadn't totally ignored me.
It was a disaster.
Ah, that's nice.
My shift ends at midnight.
Dinner's in the oven...
Overcooked brown slop. You're welcome!
Thanks, Mum.
Love you, little slug.
And one day she will too.
Last one to the top is a rotten egg.
Charlie, be careful.
I'm not racing.
I just want to be in bed by nine.
You can't catch me! Boo!
I win again.
Is there nothing I'm not good at?
Yes.
Being good.
Don't you think you should tidy
those things up before Santa comes?
Oh, found it.
Wow.
- Those are new.
- Yep.
Just dropping a hint for Santa.
I like those shiny guitars too.
In fact, it's top of my wish list.
Those are not "shiny guitars".
They are Single Cone National Resonators.
And there you go.
"Santa, gimme or else..."
Or else what?
Or else I'll catch him in a sack
and I'll shave off his beard.
You can't blackmail Santa, Charlie.
Oh, don't stress, Samski.
The fat present dispenser gets me.
Oh, look.
It really is snowing now.
Wow, so pretty.
Yeah. Pretty big fun in store.
With you, Charlie,
big fun always means big trouble.
- Oh, no.
- What?
Don't tell me
that was Buddy's hair in your beard?
Come on! You're all wet and cold.
Maybe.
Seriously. If you do
one more naughty thing,
Santa won't leave you any presents at all
and then it'll be
the worst Christmas ever.
Right. So you get the picture.
Christmas was knocking
on Wellington's front door.
And everything was about to get
a lot more complicated.
Blimey.
Snow can be a very mixed blessing.
Wow.
Snow day?
School's closed!
- Yeah!
- Death to Trapper's terrible test! Ow!
- Nice.
- Ugh. Not happening.
Morning, darling.
Don't say it.
Absolutely love snow day!
- And you said it.
- Snow day!
- Let the snowball fight-ageddon begin.
- Yay!
Holy-flipping-moly!
What am I gonna do?
Snow day!
Snow day!
- Oh, my gosh, did you...? Wow.
- Ooh.
Late, late, late.
Good morning! I can't believe I'm so late!
Good luck at school today, Danno.
And don't you be late!
I won't.
Wow. Look at that.
That's some serious snow.
Thanks for the tea and toast, eh.
You're welcome.
You were late last night. Hot date?
Yes, with a 78-year-old on a bed pan.
Speaking of hot dates,
how's the Sam Romance Campaign going?
There's no campaign, Mum.
It's been six months.
I'm still the invisible new boy.
Except to Terrifying Ms. Trapper I'm not.
Well, if love was easy
your father wouldn't have run off
with his 25-year-old dental nurse.
Mum. Don't be like that
when he comes back, okay?
I just want a fun Christmas.
Like we used to have.
I know, sweetheart. But you know what?
It's only a matter of time
before you sweep Sam off her feet
and blaze off into the sunset
on your monster truck.
Plenty of holes in that plan.
Not a big girl sweeper-upper
and total lack of truck.
Well, insignificant details.
I'm shy, she's anxious. It's hopeless.
Whew.
Everyone, come on out!
Wait for me!
Coming!
Yeouch!
Look what an angel I am.
Wow. Snow day.
Not so fast, Williams.
Hello, Ms. Trapper.
Hello, Williams.
There's no one here.
Indeed.
I'd better go then.
- Unless you don't.
- Sorry?
I assume you're here
because your mother went to work early
and didn't receive the message.
So, you are free
to catch up on your studies.
Well... Maybe.
Let me remind you
of your current scholastic status.
Chemistry, 15th out of 16.
Maths, 16th out of 16.
Want me to continue?
Not really.
Very wise. Inside please, Master Williams.
I'm going to get you!
- This means w*r!
- Teddy, duck!
- Oof.
- Oh!
Right in the pie-hole.
Revenge!
Throw me, Bernie!
Are we at all worried about leaving
poor Bernie with all our little monsters
when we go to the wedding tomorrow?
A bit, but... No.
She's pretty much an adult now
and she can be very responsible.
Parent attack!
- Sometimes.
- Ha!
Mm. I have my doubts.
She will get distracted by Netflix
and let the little ones start fires...
- Indoors.
- Oh.
So, 2x squared minus 5y plus 7y is...
...Henry VIII's fifth wife
who was ex*cuted because she...
...mixed acid with alkaline and then...
...defined space-time singularities
in her native Sanskrit.
Williams?
Williams!
Were you sleeping, Williams?
Uh, concentrating, Miss.
With your eyes closed?
Well, that's my most intense
kind of concentration.
Take ten minutes outside.
Maybe the extreme cold
will cryogenically reanimate your brain.
Charlie, what are you doing?
Shh... Here she comes.
You're going to love this.
You stupid dog.
Just wait until I get you inside.
Now watch.
You're a stubborn old fusspot.
I don't know why I put up with you.
Where are my keys?
My feet are freezin'!
Ugh... Oh! No!
Well done. Buddy never gets a treat.
Wait for it.
Leave that alone, you wretched dog! Oh!
Help, I've been m*rder*d!
Yes! Bullseye! Yes, yes!
Charlotte Beccles!
Hmm?
If you had been concentrating
on your physics lessons, Williams,
you would know
that if an object of greater mass
is placed upon one of less great mass,
you get mush.
You need to make the lower snowball
larger than the upper one.
Simple Newtonian mechanics.
It was bigger.
But then a bit fell off.
Nonsense.
Do I have to teach
you children everything?
Watch and learn.
And one.
Oof.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five. Six.
Seven.
And that is how you make a snowman.
Oh.
Were you paying attention, Williams?
Uhm, yes.
Then make him a wife.
Uh...
Not bad.
Oh.
Oh, for goodness sake.
Now, time for physics.
Yes, Miss.
Or you could do more practical physics
and build this gentleman
and his slightly wonky wife
somewhere to live.
What do you think, Williams?
She just happened to be standing
under the wrong tree at the wrong time.
It was a tragic mistake.
Was it a mistake?
Well... quite a lucky tragic mistake.
Charlie.
Right. I think that's quite enough
snow day for you two.
Let's just have
an hour of reading, shall we?
Oh!
Oh!
I...
He's making a list
He's checking it twice
He's gonna find out
Who's naughty or nice
Very subtle, Mum.
Santa Claus is coming
To town
She is so doomed.
Come on, Evie.
- Kids, mince pies on the table!
- Bernie, piggy-back.
Oh, mince pies!
Abandon ship!
If only we could run the world,
it would be so much more fun.
Don't you think, Evie?
- Yes! Much more fun!
- Wait for me guys, wait!
Yeouch! Come on!
Voil! Simple Newton mechanics.
Well, yes, I-I think that's satisfactory.
You've turned out to be
not so much of a dullard as you seem.
And that is the bell.
Pack up and home, Williams.
Oh. Already. Okay.
That was the most fun
I've had at school ever!
Can I just ask?
Where did you get so good at snow?
No. You may not. Off you go.
Ah, poor Danny.
It's hard making new friends
sometimes, isn't it?
Wait for me, guys.
I always think that Christmas is a bit
like an emotional magnifying glass.
If you feel loved and happy,
Christmas will make you feel
even happier and more loved.
But if you feel alone and unloved,
the magnifier gets to work
and makes all those bad things
bigger and worse.
And the last thing anyone needs
is a blizzard making things even trickier.
See, I told you the storm
would be over by the time we leave.
Look, it's clearing up.
Tragically.
Right, Bernadette, you're in charge.
Great. More whooping it up, people.
After you've done all the things
on the Christmas Eve to do list.
Okay.
So it's going to be exactly
the same as always?
Of course. All the traditions.
Turkey lunch, lovely old Christmas film,
lovely Christmas walk.
Absolutely love the tradition
of traditional traditions.
Everyone does.
But do they? Completely sure about that?
Well yes, I think we are.
When did you start wanting
to change Christmas, Bernie?
When I stopped being six, Mum.
Okay, well, be that as it may,
just get the jobs done. That's your job.
Get the job done, Bernie.
Then wonderful Christmas begins
the moment we're back.
Oh.
Oh, sorry. I thought...
I thought we were all going to whoop.
Oh, no. I never whoop.
Bye-bye.
Bye, kids!
- Bye, Dad!
- Have a nice night!
Well, at least we have
eight parent-free hours.
Yes! Eight kid-free hours!
Absolutely love kids.
But it's nice to get away
from them sometimes.
- Huh?
- Whoa.
Aww.
Nice try, Eve McQueen,
my little escape artist.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
Bye again...
Okay, fellow inmates,
the prison sentence starts
with a long list.
Yeouch.
Absolutely love ferries.
It's like a boat
giving a car a piggy back.
You love paperclips.
Oh, yeah, I really love paperclips.
The Rolls Royce
of holding things together.
Is it just me or are those
very dark clouds on the horizon?
Hmm.
In breaking news,
if you thought the snow was over,
you were wrong.
Here comes The Big Blizzard Two.
The sequel is heading south
and it's definitely getting worse!
Oh yes, I suppose so. Okay, yes.
I know.
All right, well good luck.
And thank you, Angie.
Right, we have a major situation.
What? What is it?
The snow has cut off the town
and the butcher
didn't get his Christmas delivery,
and that means Farmer Yirrell
is the only one with fresh turkeys so...
No. Yirrell is the worst.
He's a truly terrible turkey torturer.
And he used to call me names at school.
Nevertheless, we can't
have Christmas without a turkey.
Why not? They deserve to live.
Because without turkeys,
it just wouldn't be Christmas.
Can't we celebrate without a turkey?
We can make an aubergine or...
Charlie! Charlie, my lovely girl.
It's time to go.
Oh.
Come on. Get a wiggle on.
Oh, shame.
What?
h*-h*! Well, well, well, here they come.
Here they darn well come.
Time to turn meat into money.
Easy now, there's turkeys for everyone.
Someone should do something
about this hellhole.
They really should.
Just as a matter of interest, Mr. Yirrell,
what are you charging?
Oh, you know me, Specky-Beccles.
Only double the normal price.
- Double?
- For the small ones, yeah.
Triple for the chunkadunks,
on account of the recent fluctuation
in market conditions.
Is that legal?
Thing is, we need the turkey.
Cash payments only. I will be donating...
...all of the profits to myself.
Don't call me that.
Charlie.
Do you have enough change?
Come to mama.
Places, please.
No fighting, folks,
or I'll get out me cattle prod.
Yes!
- Oh, no.
- Oh, Charlie, what are you doing?
Let us view the merchandise, shall we?
- Mr. Yirrell, uh...
- Huh?
I don't want to delay you,
but are those t-turkeys free range?
Well, yes, they're free to range
all around their... cage. Yeah.
- And, um... corn fed?
- Eh?
Well, no, not all corn fed more... mud fed.
Move. Move you daft blobs. Move.
Right, no more questions
from the irritating child.
Behind this door are proper birds...
Come on. Come on. Come on.
No!
Back off. Back off. Back off.
Ladies and gentlemen, juicy and jolly,
Yirrell's finest.
It's turkey time!
Eh? Whoa!
Ooh, grab one!
Gotcha! Oof!
Why do bad things always happen
to good people?
Charlie, you've ruined
Christmas lunch for everyone.
Except the turkeys.
I imagine this rather made their day.
Well, yes, nice for the turkeys,
but Santa's now definitely
not coming to you.
And can't you see
that spoils everything for me as well
because... because it spoils it for you.
And there we go.
A Christmas custard
for when Dad gets here.
Wow. White slop.
Exactly. With extra slop on top.
Now look, love, I really have to run.
I know it's Christmas Eve but you and
your Dad will have so much fun together.
He'll be here in an hour.
I bet with more presents than Santa.
See ya.
Oh. Don't forget the shopping list.
Huh?
You could get
a little gift for your dad
at the Beccles shop.
Where Sam Beccles lives...
Huh.
It's getting worse, careful down there.
Don't bother rolling it up,
just get it down.
Whoa!
So long, Singalong.
Happy Christmas. Uh...
No. Happy X-mas Eve, Sammo.
Merry Christmas, Sam.
Sam? Come on, love.
- Thank you.
- Oh. Hi, Danny.
Uh... Yes. Danny... That's right.
Hi, Sam. Fancy seeing you here.
I live here.
Uh... Yes. Right. Of course.
I knew that.
Um...
Just doing some last minute shopping.
Uh...
Or would be, if you weren't shutting.
Sorry.
- Nobody's out because of the...
- Blizzard?
I was going to say "rapidly evolving
climate change disaster."
Yes. Climat-astrophe.
Um...
It's just my dad's coming,
and I was going to buy his favorite thing.
Wine gums.
Oh. I like them too. I-In fact...
Here.
Oh, wow. Great. Thank you.
Orange. His favorite color.
Except green. And yellow...
It needs a bit of a clean. Sorry.
Wine gums are much better
without fluff, on the whole.
Yeah.
Flufflessness. Always good.
Would you like to come in
and warm up for a minute,
out of the climat-astrophe?
Oh, yes!
No. Best get home.
Oh.
Don't want to miss the big moment
when my dad arrives.
Oh, okay. Exciting.
Bye then, Danny.
Merry Christmas... I hope, for you.
Goodbye... Sam.
Why did I say no?
I am the feeblest human alive.
Everything okay in there?
Uh. Yes. All good. Thanks.
Oh, Charlie, please.
Boom-shaka-laka
Can't we go now?
One last boogie!
You're right.
We'd better get back to the kids.
We have to get to that ferry, now.
It should be here somewhere.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, no!
Oh, yes.
Don't panic.
My app thingy says
there's a bridge to Sherringham
at the other end of the island.
We'll take the scenic route.
Absolutely love bridges.
They're like roads that hover.
Clever birdies.
And where do you think
you're going, Houdini?
Come on. Lots to do.
They'll be back soon.
Come on. You've got this.
If you feel yourself losing traction,
steer into the skid.
No, don't steer off the bridge,
we'll drown!
I can't look.
Come on, old girl. You can do it.
- Ooh!
- What did I tell you?
Plain sailing from here.
Watch out! Look!
Brace, brace, brace.
Stop, stop, stop.
Ooh!
Stop!
Okay.
Were those...
- ...turkeys?
- Turkeys?
Well, we appear to be facing
the wrong direction.
Nothing a three-point turn can't fix.
Careful, careful or you'll go over the...
...edge.
Quick. Reverse.
Oh, it's not working. Give it some welly.
I'm trying!
You can do it!
I've got it! Everyone lean back.
Oh, yes. Good idea, Harry.
Just a little bit more.
- Yes!
- Hurray!
No, Teddy. Not over there.
Phone!
Who is it? Is it Mum?
Hi, Bernadette.
Hi, guys. What's up?
So, um, there's been a tiny hiccup,
and it looks like we may not
make it back tonight.
You won't be home for Christmas?
What? They won't be home for Christmas?
It's a possibility.
Mum, what happened to your hair?
Uh, yes, it's nothing.
Uh, so, Bernadette,
you'll all have to stay together
in the barn, okay?
Right, but what about
our Christmas stockings?
Save some phone power to call for help.
You'll have to improvise.
Lock all the doors and stay together.
Nobody goes outside
until we're back. Okay?
Really?
- Teddy, lock the door.
- Yes, boss.
We'll be fine.
I think we'll be fine...
Just remember to keep an eye on Evie,
and I'm sure we'll be back by morning.
Or not, if we don't call
the emergency services.
Huh?
But...
- No parents?
- Seriously?
I'm very, very sad now.
All right, click and release.
Here, let me help.
No, now your arm is on my...
- Ow. No. Ooh.
- Uh...
Is everyone okay?
Okay?
Gentle, gentle. Aah!
Uh, I said "gentle," Harry.
Oh, it can't be that bad.
Oh, it's... it's... It's that bad.
Uh, maybe we could walk home?
Only if you want to lose your toes,
your fingers, and other soft bits
to certain frostbite.
No. We must stay in the van.
I can't believe we won't be there
for Santa and the stockings.
Oh, you shouldn't worry about that.
Shouldn't I?
No, you should worry about
freezing to death out here
and never seeing another Christmas
of any kind.
Righto.
That won't happen.
Beyonc's engine will keep the heat on.
Ugh,
Oh no.
You secretly named
this ridiculous old van after Beyonc?
No, no. I mean, not that Beyonc.
Huh?
Right, God hates me.
And that's official.
Dad!
Hi Danny, I'm so sorry,
all the roads are blocked.
- Oh.
- There's so much snow.
Oh, the snow.
Yeah, it's really bad out there.
Right.
I'll try to make it there
for the New Years.
Yes.
- You won't be too sad, will you?
- No.
We'll make up for it next year, okay?
It will be great.
Next year.
- I'm sure Santa will...
- Yes.
- Merry Christmas, kiddo, love you.
- Merry Christmas.
I'm alone this December
It's the last light of the day
Oh, I can't help but wonder
If you feel the same
Oh I guess I'll surrender
To the tears and the pain
And the cold we are under
Will remain
You were the hearth light
My fire that died
Waiting for morning sunrise
Oh.
There is nothing under the tree
That I wished for
I want you to come back to me
And be like before
Have I lost you?
And nothing will ever fill the hole
My heart will be here under the tree...
Do you think Santa will ever find us?
Huh?
Huh?
Of course he will.
Hey, what does pink bird want
Father Christmas to bring?
Just Mummy and Daddy.
Oh...
I know, Evie. I know.
- Night, everyone.
- Night, night.
- Night.
- Night night.
Goodnight.
Whose foot is this, by the way?
Oh, uh, that's mine.
Well, please move it.
Not to there!
As predicted, the worst Christmas ever.
There is nothing under the tree...
I want you to come back to me...
Ugh, I told you to leave sooner.
I can't believe Dad.
I'm sure he tried.
At least we have each other.
We'll make a great day of it.
Will Santa even come at all
if you're sleeping in my bed?
Of course he will, darling.
Of course he will.
Do you know what?
If I'd been able to choose between
Father Christmas and my actual dad,
I'd probably have chosen Dad.
My heart will be here under the tree
Just letting you know
Oh, dear. What a mess.
Remember when I said that this Christmas
needed a sackful of fixing?
Well, this is where I came in.
Hup! Hup!
Fly on, Dasher, most noble of reindeer.
Uh, I don't know
if you've noticed,
but there's a tiny bit of a blizzard
going on here.
Nonsense! It's just a light breeze.
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
Hey! Can't we just turn back?
We've done all the good countries already.
No! We can't let
a teeny bit of blizzard ruin Christmas.
There! Head for that lighthouse!
Okay, I'm going!
Oh, we're going to die!
Whoa!
Whoa! Thanks, Bill!
- Evening, Sants!
- Whoa!
Uh...
Whoa! Elf on the shelf!
Whoa!
Whoa! Ah! Whoa!
Whoa! Ah!
Ha ha! We made it. Nearly home.
Oh, no.
I thought getting here
was the hard part
but it turns out
we've got a town full of problems.
You can say that again.
All my mates are down
with the red nose flu
and my sparkly hooves are in agony.
Problem number one...
...Danny Williams.
Here goes.
If you take a tumble,
I'm putting you in a home.
Have I ever taken a tumble?
Um...
Let's skip past this part, shall we?
Whoa!
Oh!
Ugh.
Hmm. "A bit sad and lonely."
"Makes tea and toastie
every morning for his Mum."
But now his dad hasn't turned up.
Terrible. Terrible.
Something extra special needed here.
Hmm.
Perfect.
Hey, sweet antlers.
Uh, what about you and me
go flying together?
I'll take that as a "no" then.
Problem number two.
Five kids all in one barn
and no parents. Oh!
Interesting challenge.
Sants, you won't get all those sacks
down the chimney in one go.
I've been doing this a long time,
my grumpy friend.
Hup!
Hup!
Oh!
One word.
One word from you and
I will get myself a self-driving sleigh.
Hup!
Told you.
And that's two words.
Right. Stockings. Stockings?
Very imaginative. Hmm.
Super Santa creativity required here.
Yes. Very good.
Clever.
Perfect.
Over to you now, mighty Bernadette.
Now, problem number three,
the hardest of the lot,
a pair of twins, one's been very good,
but the other is...
The evil twin.
There's always an evil twin.
No, not evil,
but she's definitely been very naughty.
What to do?
Ah, just flip a coin.
We've still got Finland, Sweden
and that other one
with all the lederhosen to do.
Don't rush me. This really matters.
Where would we be
if everyone was naughty all the time?
"Refused to tidy her room."
"Shaved a dog to make a beard"
and... good lord,
"Released
all of Farmer Yirrell's turkeys."
Oh, get on with it, boss.
My unmentionables
are turning into snowballs out here.
Alas, alas, but it must be done.
For all the talk
of who's naughty and who's nice,
it's actually incredibly rare for me
to follow through with an empty stocking
on actual Christmas night.
Oh, dear, that's a dreadful thing to do.
Right, where to next? Jamaica? Barbados?
No. Iceland.
Hip, hip.
Farewell, Wellington-on-Sea!
I knew it would be okay.
Yes, yes, yes, yes!
Charlie Beccles, rock star supreme.
Oh, no.
He got the wrong twin.
Ahh...
Oh, no, what does that mean?
Did you forget Finland again?
No, it's wonderful news.
Sorry pal, it's going to be a long night.
Long night?
It's already been one endless,
tear off your own antlers
and eat them long night.
Well, it's about to get longer.
And marvelous!
So where are we going, big man?
Back to Wellington-on-Sea.
The naughty twin
turns out not to be naughty after all.
Oh! This is my first
Code Red for fifty years!
Code Red? Nice.
Let's dust off one of these old beauties.
Right, time is tight.
Let's blow a hole in the sky, baby.
All righty then.
I've got a little bit more
left in the tank. Check this.
Whoa!
I love this job!
Oh, my goodness!
Charlie, Charlie! Look.
Santa came. Oh, gosh, look!
Yeah, you got the guitar!
But why aren't you opening yours?
Well, I wasn't so lucky.
What do you mean?
I guess I was too naughty after all.
I should have been less...
Charlie, it's bursting!
What?
Oh, no, Sam's having a panic attack.
Brace yourself.
She got a full stocking!
I got a full stocking.
Oh, my gosh. Sam!
I was ready to call an ambulance.
Look at this one!
What is happening? Chocolate!
Oh, yes.
This is amazing!
Oh!
No way. Drumsticks!
Oh, there's something left in Charlie's.
Is there?
I thought I felt something.
Um... uh...
I don't think so.
Mum, it's just what I've always wanted.
Oh, yes, isn't it?
Officially nice.
You did find something.
No. I-It was nothing.
Oh, okay.
Mum, listen to what I learnt at school.
- Thank you.
- You're very welcome.
Good old Santa.
Merry Christmas, little slug.
Yes!
Look outside.
Flipping heck.
Huh?
Mummy? Daddy?
Oh, no, they're not back.
- Gosh.
- Gosh.
Oof! Oh, gosh.
Christmas is ruined.
Or it's not.
Look in your stockings. Santa came.
- What?
- Really?
And he's left
some very interesting things.
A blaster g*n? Weird.
A power washer? Double weird.
A karaoke machine?
Hmm...
Whippedy cream!
Bit weird.
What's that?
- I don't get it.
- Well, duh.
Everyone, it's Christmas morning
and our parents are nowhere to be seen,
which could be a problem, true,
but it seems to me
Santa's gifts are asking
a very intriguing question.
Do we always love everything
about the Christmas arrangements?
- Hmm...
- Um...
Christmas lunch with all the trimmings?
- Ugh.
- Sprouts.
Nope.
Washing up after lunch?
Finished.
Uh...
Nuh-uh.
How about the big walk?
I don't seem
to be able to walk straight.
- No!
- Yes!
I mean, no.
And then the lovely old Christmas film.
I hate the lovely old Christmas film.
Exactly as I thought.
Do we think we could do a lot better?
- Definitely.
- Um, yes.
Right, so, big moment, kids. Big moment.
One of those moments
that defines who we are.
Do we have a vision for the future
that is better and brighter
and always more fun?
Yes!
Children of Wellington-on-Sea, get ready.
It's time
for our Christmas!
Yes!
This is why I love my job.
Quite proud of that one.
Whoa!
Mum! Mum.
Mum?
Oh, come on, Jan.
Danny's dad has just let him down
and I can't miss Christmas Eve
and Christmas Day.
Yes, I kn...
I know she's very sick.
Okay... Okay.
Okay.
I'll do it.
Damn it.
Not today too.
Nobody else can get through
and I'm the only one
in trudging distance of the hospital.
There must be someone.
Someone who didn't just get divorced.
Look, do you know Bill,
the lighthouse keeper?
Uh-uh.
Well, his Mum might be dying.
And that's not fun.
She likes me
and she doesn't like many people.
It's not nice to die with someone
you don't like holding your hand.
Okay, I get it.
Mrs. Lighthouse and her not nice death
is more important
than you and me and Christmas.
Oh, love, of course it isn't.
But it's my job.
Look, I'll ring around, I'll find someone
to look after you until I get back.
Don't bother.
I'm fine on my own. I'm used to it.
I'll make it up to you, I promise.
Just you and me is just fine.
We'll have a really special dinner
when I get home. Okay?
What? Extra big portion of red slop?
I'd better go and get ready.
Oh, dear.
The problem is,
no matter how well I do my job,
life is complicated.
And when my big night is over,
it all starts up again.
And it's up to you lot
to sort things out yourselves.
You're doing great, honey!
Keep up, Harry! You can do it too!
I am keeping up, darling.
Ooh! Oh...
Nearly there!
Uh...
- No, no.
- Shoes off.
Please! Ow!
Watch out!
- I'm on you! I'm riding...
- Stop, stop.
Who could have predicted this calamity?
Oh, that's right, me.
Oh, no. The poor kids.
Oh, how will they cope without us?
Are you ready?
Yes.
Children of the barn,
Christmas lunch our way!
Pizza!
Snow is falling
As the carolers sing
You're all that I need
Underneath the tree...
Do it.
Whippedy cream!
For you. Finished!
Christmas, 27% better.
- Let's go!
- Awesome!
Scarlett, time for your gift.
Wow...
Eat sprouts, suckers!
Yay!
Take that! And that.
And bam!
- Christmas, 48% better.
- Mm-hmm.
Now, washing up.
Over to you, Tedwardo.
Behold the magic of the power washer!
Now, Evie!
- Yaah!
- Go, Teddy, blast them!
Whoa. Amazing.
Christmas, 73% better.
Almost there, just one last thing needed.
Follow me, guys!
Yay!
You're here, where you should be
Snow is falling as the carolers sing
It just wasn't the same...
- Rock on, Samski!
- Alone on Christmas Day
- Oops.
- Charlie!
How did a girl so naughty
get a full stocking?
That is a good question.
So, while Sam is sorting out
her mystery,
poor Danny is wondering
why he is the only person alone
on Christmas Day.
Or is he?
Carol singers.
Beware the wrath of my furled umbrella.
Williams.
Um...
Hello, Ms. Trapper,
I wondered if you'd like some company?
What about your mother?
Working. And we had a bit of a fight.
A-And your father?
He didn't come.
My mum and I
are going to have dinner later
but I wondered if you'd like
some Christmas sort-of-cake?
Because we're both sort of alone.
Well...
Um...
it's a kind offer
but I'm afraid I'm very busy.
Right. Sorry to disturb.
Life's not always easy, is it, Williams?
Not always.
But I suspect, at the moment,
it's hardest for your mother.
Mum, I just want...
Nope.
Hmm...
An intervention called for, I think.
Hmm.
Let's see. Straight and... right.
Whenever I get gloomy with the state
of the world...
...I think about the arrivals gate
at Heathrow Airport. General...
- And that's quite enough of that.
- Huh?
Over to you, Nisha.
Let's party!
- Oh, yeah!
- Yay!
If you want to run away with me
I know a galaxy
Where the music don't stop for life
Belt it out, Teddy!
Boom-shaka-laka
It's a brand new style
Incoming!
Best Christmas ever!
Christmas, 100% better.
But what about the walk, Bernie?
Hmm...
Happy birthday, Jesus
Happy birthday, Jesus
I must remember to put in my journal:
"Pray for reincarnation
in a tropical country."
Ooh! Good time for presents,
don't you think?
- What?
- Presents?
Oh.
Merry Christmas, my love.
What's this?
Oh, just in case we got stuck.
Couldn't have you
waking up without a gift.
And I noticed the screen on your old one
was a little bit cracked.
What? It's a phone? Is it charged?
It certainly is. Yep.
Synced and ready to go.
So we could have called
the kids last night?
Uh... Yeah, but then it wouldn't have been
a surprise, would it?
Surprise!
Well, it was nicely wrapped
at least, wasn't it?
The man is a moron
and there's no getting around it.
The kids aren't answering.
Something's wrong.
Can we please call emergency services now?
You are 520 in the queue.
- Please hold.
- Everyone must be snowed in.
We'll be here for days.
Right, try Trapper. She'll have a number
for school emergencies.
Ms. Trapper is scary.
Mm, but the school is outstanding.
You are such children.
Be careful, Harry.
Hello, is that Ms. Trapper?
Yes, what do you want?
I'm very busy indeed.
Oh, yes. Sorry.
Sorry to disturb. Gosh.
Oh, yes, i-it's Harry Forrest here,
Scarlett and Teddy's dad.
Harry, what did she say?
Yes. Yes, I did maths with you,
that's right, yes. That's the one.
18th out of 18, yes.
Hopeless Harry, yes.
Yes, but I wonder
if you might be able to help.
We're a little bit stuck.
Well, as I said, I'm very busy
but if you really are desperate...
Yes! We're desperate.
Very well, I may have one thought.
Faster, Williams.
I hate turkeys.
I hate their beaks, feathers...
- Ms. Trapper.
- Hello, Yirrell.
I need you to rescue some villagers
who are stuck in the snow.
W-Why should I?
Because I tell you to.
Happy to help, Miss.
Good. Now snap to it, you infamous oik.
Yes, Miss. Thank you, Miss. Will do, Miss.
Sometimes, it's very helpful
to be a terrifying old trout.
Yes, that'll do.
Here are the coordinates
of the McNutt van.
Go and rescue them. Chop chop.
Yes, Ms. Trapper.
Right, Williams, time to get to work.
But I don't think it's fair
that I have to work on Christmas Day.
Precisely. Nobody should
have to work on Christmas Day.
Including your mother.
Now, take a look at this.
But we'll never get it done in time.
Of course we will, Master Williams.
It's time for Project Homecoming.
I can't believe you tidied up
my side of the room.
It's unhealthy being this clean.
Charlie Beccles' Operation Happy Sam.
Tactics and Plans?
Operation Help Buddy.
Operation Nisha's Melon Drop.
Operation Match Making? To Do?
Gosh.
She's doing it all for me?
What? How did that get there?
I've got my slimy eye on you.
What? What?
Sam, you're being weird.
Hmm. Whatever.
Clever girl, that Sam.
I hoped she'd figure it out in the end.
Hurry, Williams. Hurry!
Absolutely love chivalry.
What?
Thank God. Someone's here.
Oh, the emergency services.
We're saved.
- Help! Over here!
- Hello! We're over here! Hello!
Yes! Hallelujah.
We are so glad to see you.
I hear you lot are in a bit of a pickle.
- Is that Yirrell?
- What?
Hello there, Hopeless Harry,
I've come to rescue you.
For a small fee, of course.
Small fee?
Oh, no.
- We're going down!
- It's sinking!
Oh, God.
- Yep.
- Somewhat anticlimactic.
Now, where to?
Home!
- Everyone ready?
- Um...
- And walk!
- Do we have to?
- Hup, two, three, four.
- Great.
Hup, two, three, four.
- And... home, two, three, four.
- Nice.
Plot twist.
What a legend.
What? Uh...
But I...
That was brilliant!
- Bernie is a creative genius.
- So much fun!
But we didn't even get
to the lovely beach huts.
Next year, little one.
Right! Time for the epic
Christmas hide-and-seek!
Winner gets the last bag
of fun size Mars bars!
- My specialty!
- Let's go!
Quick!
Thirty,
29, 28...
- 27, 26...
- Sorry, taken.
- 25...
- Somewhere else, Evie.
24, 23...
- 22...
- Huh.
21, 20...
19,
18, 17...
16,
15...
14, 13...
12...
What?
Oh...
Mum, you're here.
Look what we made.
Oh, Danny.
I don't know what to say.
Then don't say anything.
Just step inside, Nurse Williams,
and enjoy a very special Christmas dinner
with your most excellent son.
Will you join us?
Uh, maybe next year.
I-I've got some catching up to do
with my own family.
Ms. Trapper, are you sure?
Merry Christmas, Williams.
It's time to celebrate the wins
and live with the losses.
Come here.
We're going to be so fine.
I think so too.
Your throne, madam.
Oh...
Merry Christmas, Jamie.
- First to the little girls' room.
- Whew.
Oh! Absolutely love you,
Beyonc, old girl.
We're home!
What on Earth has happened here?
Oh, no! We've been burgled!
You're home!
You're back!
Oh, Nisha beta, I'm so sorry.
Please forgive me.
I'll never leave you alone
at Christmas again.
- Mummy!
- I love you, sweetie.
And clearly you managed to have some fun.
- Yeah. Bernie was fantastic.
- We had a disco!
- She is my absolute hero.
- Aw...
Well, there's nothing quite as good
as a traditional Christmas, is there?
There certainly isn't.
Wait a minute. Where's Evie?
- Yeah. Where is that little pumpkin?
- Evie!
- Evie! Come out!
- Why is the door unlocked?
- Eve!
- Evie!
Eve.
Oh, no.
When was the last time someone saw Evie?
Evie!
- Evie!
- Evie!
Evie!
We were just playing hide-and-seek.
I don't know what happened. I'm so sorry.
It's okay. We just need to find her.
She's not in the house.
Oh, my gosh.
Get Ms. Trapper onto the school WhatsApp.
Kids, DM your friends.
We need all the help we can get.
Find my Evie. Please.
She'll turn up. I'm 100% certain.
It's all my fault.
It was asking too much of Bernie.
Bernie!
Evie!
Bernie, wait! Please.
Evie!
- Don't worry, we'll be fine.
- We'll find her.
- Stick together!
- Be careful!
Danny, we need you
and we need your monster-quad monstrosity.
Eve McNutt is missing.
- Let's go.
- Evie.
Evie! Come to Charlie!
I've got lots of sweets!
- Charlie.
- Come on, Charlie.
Please be serious,
this is no time for naughtiness.
- Good.
- She's here.
Don't worry.
Right, spread out,
form a line, two meters apart.
Mustn't miss a spot!
Hurry!
Maintain your distance and hold the line.
Eve! Evie.
Evie-Weevie. Ice cream over here!
- Charlie, now is not the time.
- Charlie.
Stop it.
No, you stop it.
Charlie's not being naughty.
She's searching.
Helping people Charlie-style,
with... with imagination.
Well, I'm sure Dad just...
Why did Santa leave her a full stocking?
Because he knows
that Charlie isn't naughty. She's nice.
Oh, and she actually darned well
does something about it all.
- Does she?
- Do I?
Yes, you do.
And it's because she loves me so much.
Why did Charlie
step on Nisha's dress in the play?
Because Nisha's mean to me
all the time and calls me the...
"Boring twin."
Exactly. Why did Charlie
drop the snow avalanche on Mrs. Horton?
- Pardon?
- Because I love her dog, Buddy
and she's absolutely horrible to him.
Is that right, Charlie?
Well, motivation is a complex thing.
And when she let
Farmer Yirrell's turkeys out...
- Charlie, you did not.
- Charlie Beccles...
Yes, she did.
And she did it because at Christmas
the poor, lovely turkeys have to die
because we have to eat them on a day
when there's far too much food anyhow.
Well, yes...
So my ambition next year
is to be more like Charlie. Not less.
Now, can we please just find little Evie
and move on from this whole
negative pigeonholing extravaganza.
Evie!
- Oi, Sam! Wait for me!
- Evie!
Evie! Evie!
Need a lift?
That is, only if it's convenient.
I mean, maybe?
If that suits?
Oh. Uh...
Thank you for standing up for me.
Evie, come on, where are you?
You're the best sister ever.
Now, just get on the bike
with Romeo, Juliet.
Beccles twins to the rescue!
Yee-haw!
- Evie! Evie!
- Evie!
It's no use.
We'll never find her when it's this dark.
But we must keep going.
I can't see anything.
That's it.
That is it. Hold tight.
Mr. Bill! Please!
Help! Hello! Mr. Bill?
- I'm coming.
- Oh, he's coming.
- Coming.
- Yes!
Hold your horses.
Mr. Bill!
Evie McNutt is missing.
And it's super dark.
- Kids?
- And you've got a super light.
Oh, well, co...
Come in.
Come on, Mr. Bill.
Use this.
Thank you.
Sorry about the mess.
Come on, Gertrude. Time to sparkle.
- Huh?
- Go that way.
There's Bernie.
- Evie!
- Evie!
Follow her, Mr. Bill.
Come on, Mr. Bill. Hurry.
- There's something in the snow.
- Where?
Further left, further left!
Look. There!
- We've got to go help her.
- Let's go!
Evie! Evie!
Evie!
Pink bird.
Evie!
Oh, God.
Oh, Evie.
Evie!
There she is.
Bernie!
Bernie! Are you okay?
Evie? Where is she?
We'll keep looking. We'll find her.
- It's all my fault.
- She's out there, I know.
Look over there!
Look where he's pointing the light.
There's something moving.
Evie!
Evie!
Evie!
The beach huts.
Bernie, all the big birdies! Look!
Evie.
Evie.
Mummy!
Oh, Evie, my darling.
We found her!
We found her at the beach huts!
They found her!
- She's safe.
- She's here.
They've got her! They found her!
Did I win hide-and-seek?
Yes, darling.
You very much won.
Come here, you life-saving
feathery superhero.
Oh! Ooh! Ow!
Absolutely love turkeys.
I'm so sorry I lost her.
I'm so stupid.
I forgot the only thing that matters.
No. No.
The only thing that matters
is that you found her.
And you gave the kids
an amazing Christmas, Bernadette.
I'm so proud of you.
Eve family sandwich!
Mmm.
Aw. Isn't that wonderful?
Yes, it really is.
- Danny Williams.
- Yes?
Was the lighthouse light really your idea?
Uh...
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is Danny,
the best person in Wellington-on-Sea.
That's your cue. Go for it.
Uh...
Um...
Sam, I was wondering,
maybe we could get together
for some...
f-for some wine gums sometime?
Um... Wrong twin, chickpea.
Over here. But yes, that'd be great.
And that was That Christmas.
One that will live long
in the memory down Wellington way
and prove that the best Christmases
aren't really about presents
and that splendid fellow called Santa.
They're about being with the people
you love. In the place you love.
And a time for local heroes.
Like the one whose caring soul
gave my friend Bill
one last Christmas with his Mum.
But one more wrinkle remained.
The traditional crazy Boxing Day sea swim.
This year, for the very first time,
obviously, no one was going to show up.
Well, except for one fearless,
skinny old sea dog, of course.
Even if it meant doing it on his own,
he'd never miss it.
Come on, guys! Come on!
- Hi, Bill.
- Hello.
Happy Christmas, Bill.
Are you braving it?
Well, what do you know?
I thought Wellington-on-Sea
was just an ordinary town
I'd drop in on once a year.
But I was very wrong.
It turns out
it's a rather remarkable community.
Where the only gift
they ever really needed was each other.
Here you go, little monster.
No more escaping, Evie.
And a real community is for life.
Not just for Christmas.
I love it.
There you go, my love.
Such a nice young man.
Come on, Danny. Let's do it.
Yeah!
Oh, it's flipping cold.
Whoa!
Mission accomplished.
It's amazing!
Come on, follow me.
Last one in is a loser.
- That'll be you then!
- Oof.
Kids, wait!
I'm not so sure, to be honest.
- Come on, big chicken.
- Please... Ooh!
Mummy, hold this.
- Whoo!
- Happy hypothermia.
Oh!
Ms. Trapper,
thanks for looking out for my Danny.
Merry Christmas.
Yes. It has been, hasn't it?
And now I believe it's time for a swim.
Chocks away!
I think you're right.
Let's show them how it's done!
Look at me, I'm Christmas-Eve!
Absolutely love a happy ending.
Oh Christmas lights
Light up the street
Down where the sea and city meet
May all your troubles soon be gone
Oh, Christmas lights keep shining on
Those Christmas lights
Light up the street
Maybe they'll bring her back to me
And then all my troubles will be gone
Oh, Christmas lights keep shining on
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, Christmas lights
Light up the street
Light up the fireworks in me
May all your troubles soon be gone
Those Christmas lights keep shining on
Happy Christmas to all.
And to all a good night.
Wh-Who are you talking to?
Are you talking to yourself again, Sants?
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That Christmas (2024)
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