- [Brennan] A list of the topics, themes,
and subject matter
featured in this episode
has been included in
the video description.
♪ Here we go ♪
♪ T-T-T-Taking over, teenage rebellion ♪
♪ It's our time, it's our year ♪
♪ No more fantasizing about it ♪
♪ Everything's about to change ♪
♪ We're all gonna be okay ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, let's go ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, let's go ♪
Hello, one and all!
Welcome back to another thrilling episode
of "Dimension 20: Fantasy
High Junior Year".
I'm your humble dungeon
master, Brennan Lee Mulligan.
With me, as always, are
our Intrepid Heroes.
Say hi, Intrepid Heroes!
- Hi, Intrepid Heroes!
- Last we left off,
the fiendish cleric teacher Bobby Dawn-
- Fiendish?
- Fiendish?
- Yeah, I guess not fiendish.
- We cut to the final episode.
- [Brennan] I mean to say-
- You got me.
- Actually, we have fiends at the table.
- Yeah, okay.
- The foul and loathsome
Bobby Dawn, with Kristen's-
- We got a couple loathsome
ones over here, too.
- [Ally] Hey, nat 20!
- I'm looking at foul.
I'm looking at loathsome.
- Hey.
- Had given Kristen,
after an A+ effort, an F.
- Unbelievable.
- [Brennan] This injustice will not stand.
- Absolutely unbelievable.
- We had Gorgug achieving
the grand sort of unison
of his artificer and barbarian classes,
but leaving the Aguefort Owlbears.
We had Riz Gukgak stepping
up to join the Owlbears,
and discovering the name
and, more importantly,
life/death status of the
rogue teacher, Eugenia Shadow,
maybe even tracking down
a cemetery location.
And we also had the creation
of a great working of metal
upon the face of the
cosmos, "Dawn of Justice",
moving the divine yet
infernal realm of Ankarna
into the bottom of the Bottomless Pit
with the summoning of a fearsome Daymare.
Seeing that their grades
were in terrible jeopardy,
our Bad Kids leapt to
action, consulting Jawbone,
who got them set up for the
Last Standard Examination,
AKA the Last Stand, a coliseum cage match
where an army of cheering Arthur Agueforts
hoots and hollers at your upcoming success
as your proctor, Gavin Pundle,
sits atop this structure in
the middle of the coliseum
as monsters attempt to
k*ll him and all of you,
and the goal here being to last
as long as you possibly can
against an impossible to defeat array
of monsters emerging from these gates
as Buddy Dawn waits in the sidelines
to resurrect you when your
Last Stand is concluded.
And let us not forget, plenty
more academic questions
where that came from.
[players groaning]
We return into combat
in the middle of Kristen Applebees' turn.
Kristen, you have just vaporized
a number of skeletal warriors.
You have a bonus action and your movement.
- Incredible, I will go to my desk
and I will pull out a test.
- Great, your desk, over back here.
You rush over to your desk.
Kristen, you run over to your desk
and see that there are
two folders within it,
one marked Medicine, the
other marked Religion.
- Let's do Religion.
- Here we go.
- [Brennan] Here we
go. Everyone get ready.
- There it is. Stamp.
- And as a reminder, Gorgug
has two uses of the pass stamp
with those academic resources.
This is a one minute test.
Three, two, one.
- Which rad Dwarven deity holds dominion
over the art of Shredding?
Orrie, Ollie, Ormry, Oggie?
Ollie, right? That would make sense.
- It should be Ollie.
- Correct!
- There it is.
- Wow.
- There we go, bam.
- Hey, we might not even
need those two passes.
- We're just on fire, academically.
- Mr. Thistlespring.
- Stamp that sh*t!
- Stamp that sh*t!
- [Brennan] Stamp that sh*t.
[players cheering]
Hell yes.
Of course, your campaign associate
and member of the LGBT Student
Alliance, Torek Railgrinder,
a cleric of Ollie, the
rad god of shredding.
- Oh, I just assumed it was 'cause
it was a skateboarding term.
- It is 'cause of the skateboarding term.
- Yeah.
- It's actually a pun,
because Aulë is Tolkein's
god of the dwarves,
and it sounds like Ollie.
- A skateboard "Lord of the Rings" pun.
- That was for you.
- That was for you, watching this at home.
Specifically for you.
Kristen, any bonus actions?
- No, not at this moment.
- If you don't have a bonus action,
maybe you could grab from my desk as well.
- Will you allow it?
- Give me a Sleight of Hand check.
We'll call it DC 10 Sleight of Hand.
- Oh no.
- [Murph] It's okay, you just need a 13.
- There it is. Clean.
- 17.
- 17, great. Cool.
You're able to run over and grab Fig's.
- [Zac] This feels like
"Supermarket Sweep".
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- You see two in Fig's,
which are Performance and Driver's Ed.
- Performance and driver's ed?
Which classes have you been going to?
- Neither. Let's start with Performance.
- Performance! Okay, I grab it.
- Okay, Performance. I'm
gonna hand this to Emily.
This is a three minute challenge.
- Okay, if it's write a song,
we're all doing it together,
'cause that's very fun.
Please compose a
limerick, sonnet, or haiku
expressing your feelings and emotions
relating to the exam you
are currently taking.
- Murph!
- What?
Let's not fail. Let's not fail.
- There was an exam that was hard.
But luckily, we had a bard.
- But luckily, I am a bard!
The demons are slayed,
'cause of how we played.
- They're hoisted by their own petard!
- ...own petard!
- Correct!
- Yes!
- Unbelievable.
- So good.
- Here you go, Mr. Thistlespring,
if you'll please pass that 100%.
- Woo!
- Unbelievable.
Okay, we move on.
The first monster turn of the combat.
- Oh wow.
- The ochre jellies go.
- Okay.
- They're so far away.
- [Brennan] They have
a movement speed of 10,
and will use their action
to move another 10.
- [Ally] Horrifying! Horrifying!
- Oh no! They're charging,
they're charging!
- [Lou] Kristen, quick, walk away.
- Riz, like, screams so loud.
- Kristen!
- [Siobhan] Stand on your
desk. They can't get you.
- Adaine Abernant, that is your turn.
- I'll take a test, please.
- Elven and Arcana.
- Ay yi yi. I'll go Elven.
- Elven and the Chipmunks.
- Yeah.
- Elven!
- This is a one minute examination.
Furthermore, this is the first examination
with an extra credit compontent.
- Okay.
- Oh!
- Three, two, one.
- Okay, please translate the
following phrase into Common.
Pedo Mellon a Minno.
Mellon is friends, and then extra credit,
the word Mellon is the root word
for which extremely weak form of magic?
- Friendship? Is friendship magic?
- Cantrip?
- Magic-
- Mellon is the root word
for a weak form of magic.
- Cantrip, maybe?
- Melee?
- Pedo Mellon a Minno.
- Wait, what is friends?
- Mellon is, "Speak friends and enter,"
in "Lord of the Rings".
- Okay.
- [Siobhan] And we're not
allowed to use rolls on this?
- Nope.
- Pedo Mellon?
- P-E-D-O, is that like
walking or something?
- Could be.
- Maybe pedestrian?
- Or child.
- Or child.
- Child, yeah, that's what I was thinking.
- Animal friendship?
- Something about Bad Kids?
- Oh!
- Pedo Mellon a Minno?
- I will say-
- Oh, little-
- Mellon is friends.
- I've already said it?
- You've already said it.
- Oh!
- Speak friend and enter.
- That is it.
Correct, speak friend and enter.
And extra credit, with a few seconds left?
- The spell Friends?
- Friends?
- Yes.
- Friendship?
- What'd you say?
- Oh.
- Friendship.
- That is correct!
Extra credit answered.
- Friendship. I think in the first-
- Oh, in the first thing,
you said friendship-
- The very first episode.
- And then-
- Aguefort got extremely mad when you said
that friendship was the
most powerful magic of all.
That is 100% pass, having
answered the extra.
- Two passes, two passes.
You got extra credit.
- Extra credit, yes.
Deeply stressful. Yes, the phrase...
First of all, I cannot believe
that you just stone cold know mellon
is the Elven word for friend.
- Yes, of course I know,
because I've read "The Lord of
the Rings" maybe 3,000 times.
- So yes, the translation
is, "Speak friend and enter."
The extra credit, you
see the moment you answer
the extra credit, Fabian yells friendship
as the weakest form of magic.
I'm going to roll a d4
in front of the board.
That is a two.
Everybody may regain either
a 2nd level or 1st level
spell slot, whatever you have available.
- Ooh!
- Great.
- As magic erupts out from the coliseum.
Adaine, that's just the
beginning of your turn.
- [Siobhan] Okay, who
we got left over here?
- [Emily] Just this guy,
maybe, and these two guys.
- [Brennan] And the
ochre jellies over there.
- And the mimic.
- And the mimic.
I actually might attack the mimic.
- Oh!
- 'Cause it got your Mirror Image out.
- There's also one more thing in it now?
Or does Fabian have both?
- There's one more thing in it.
- There's one more thing in it.
- I could take 14 more points of damage.
- I will do a 3rd level
Chromatic Orb on it.
- On the mimic. Go ahead and
give me your attack roll.
- Great, and we're Blessed still, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- Great. [groans]
Does a 15 hit?
- 15 hits.
- Thank god.
- On a two on the die!
- Two on the die.
- How about it?
- Wow.
- Wow!
- Wow.
- Must be nice.
- Must be nice, 'cause I got a three.
[dice rolling]
- Okay, nice. Okay, 14, 24, 26 damage.
- What energy are you using?
- What energy am I using?
I'll go thunder.
- Boom!
A giant sonic blast hits
the mimic [screeches]
as it screams and reels back.
Any bonus actions from Adaine?
And also remember that your
summons will act as well.
- Great, can I have
bonus action True Strike?
- Yeah, yeah.
- I forgot to do that.
I don't crit, and that
gives me the Dodge action.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- And then I will have this
dust mephit right here,
I will have it do Blinding
Breath against that mephit.
So it's a DC 10 Dex check
or be blinded for a minute.
- Against the gorgon?
- Against the gorgon, yeah.
- Gotcha.
- Against the gorgon.
- The gorgon does not make
the Dexterity saving throw.
- Stunning, so it's now
blinded for a minute.
It can repeat the saving throw at the end
of each of its turns.
- Incredible. So the mephit
blows sand into the gorgon's eyes.
You have two other mephits that can act.
- [Siobhan] I'm actually gonna move
this one over to here.
- Okay.
- [Siobhan] And, I don't
know, can I have this one
give Fabian the Help action?
- Sure.
- Have this one give Riz the Help action?
- Have them move next to the
character in order to do so.
- [Siobhan] Oh, okay.
Great, yeah, I'll do that.
- Cool, so Fabian and Riz,
you feel these mephits come in
to sort of help aim your strikes.
- Mm, thank you.
- Adaine, that is your turn.
After you, the gorgon is going to spend-
- Finally.
He's in my Spirit Guardians,
so he has to do a Wisdom save.
- Okay. Four on the die,
he does not make it.
- Okay, he takes 26 damage,
and his speed is halved.
- Yes! And he has to use-
- And he took half his movement to get up?
- So wait a minute, let me see this here.
His speed becomes 20 feet.
He's got to spend 10
of that 20 to stand up,
can no longer use his Trampling Charge-
- And is blind.
- I was worried this guy was gonna-
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- ...bully me.
- Bully me? [laughs]
- Oh wait, can I do one
more thing on my turn?
Just real quick, can I do an
Insight check on these chains,
or Perception or something?
- Yeah, give me a Perception check.
- 24.
- They are made of a non-ferrous metal.
They are made of bronze.
- Ferrous?
- What does that mean?
- That will come into play, I'm sure.
- Okay.
- Non-ferrous would be like fey, right?
Is there something invisible in them?
- Oh sh*t.
- [Emily] I wonder. Or maybe that's not-
- [Zac] But he's blind, too.
- [Brennan] He's blind.
He's gonna go here.
Getting disadvantage
on all of his attacks,
the gorgon is instead...
How much is this? This
is a 60 foot radius.
- Don't do it.
- Don't do it, man.
- Please don't do it.
- Please don't do it.
- I don't know if you can
hear me, but don't do it.
- Brennan, what the f*ck?
- [Lou] Jesus.
- Does Fig get opportunity?
- [Emily] No, I don't think I'm in range.
- Oh, got it.
- I'm 10 feet above.
- [Siobhan] No, not the teacher!
- Okay, the gorgon is going to go up.
- Is that a spell?
- No.
- Oh.
- I'm going to need a
Constitution saving throw
from Gorgug and also from Gavin Pundle.
- Okay.
- Gavin!
- Is this a spell or other magical effect?
- It is not a spell or
other magical effect.
It is a monstrous ability.
We're gonna roll Box of
Doom for Gavin Pundle.
- What does he add to his Con,
and what does he need to get?
- I won't tell you what he needs to get.
I'll let you decide how you feel
about what he would possibly roll.
Let's find out. Gav, where are you, baby?
Okay, here we go.
- Gavvy, baby.
- Gavvy, baby. He adds a
plus one to Constitution.
- Gavvy, baby!
- Do we get the sense that if
he dies, but we Revivify him,
would that still count as
him dying in the fight?
- It would still count as
him dying in the fight.
- Even if we Revivify him?
- If you Revivify him,
it will not be as bad as if he stays dead,
but there would be different points.
You wanna try to keep him from
dying as much as possible.
So Gorgug, why don't you roll
first? Roll your Constitution.
- It's a Con save?
- Con save.
- Nat one.
- Okay.
- You get a 14.
Wait, actually, it won't
make any difference,
right, if you fail-
- He might take half.
- [Brennan] But a 14 on the die
would still be adding
Gorgug's Constitution.
- That's true.
- Yeah.
- [Siobhan] Yeah, then I'll give you a 14.
- Then that becomes a 24.
- You are about to take a deep breath in.
The moment, as the bull is getting up,
Adaine has a premonition
and is able to shout at you,
cover your nose and mouth.
A billowing cloud of poison green smoke
erupts from the gorgon's mouth.
This is a petrifying breath
that will turn you to stone.
- Nice. Oh my god.
- Gavin adds a plus one.
- Oh god. Gavvy, baby.
- 18 plus one is 19. Gavin saves.
- Yes!
- Gavvy, baby!
- Thank you.
- The gorgon... [roars]
- You're welcome.
I'm glad for me, too,
because you're strong.
- [roars] As the gorgon covers this place
in this poisonous, noxious green smoke,
and with that, we are back
to the top of the round.
That is going to be Riz Gukgak.
- Okay, kick it off, I'll
grab my History exam.
- Here we go.
- Kick it off!
- This also is a two minute exam.
This also has an extra credit component.
- [Murph] Okay.
- [Brennan] Three, two, one.
- Okay. 225 immaculate conceptions
occurred on the same day
in Solace in reaction
to the first public performance
of which instrument?
The octocord, the electric lute,
the astral piano, or the hurdy-gurdy?
- I believe it was the electric lute.
- Electric lute is what I-
- [Lou] What's the extra credit?
- And then the extra credit is,
nine months later, the
newborns were discovered
to have been wearing vests in utero.
What material were the vests made out of?
- Leather. Right, leather?
- Or diamond or something?
- No, I think they were leather.
- A leather vest, like rockers?
- I think it was leather, yeah.
- I don't remember at all.
- Okay, so first, we're
saying the electric lute?
- Electric lute.
- Electric lute is what I thought.
- Electric lute is
correct!
- Yeah!
- And then we wanna say...
Oh, what about denim?
- I think it's leather. I have a-
- Denim's kinda good, but-
- Denim is my second guess,
but I'm pretty sure it's leather.
- This one, I don't remember, so.
- I don't remember.
- No one remembers? Okay,
but you feel strongly about-
- I feel more strongly for
leather than I do denim.
- Leather.
- Incorrect.
- [Emily] What was it?
- It is denim.
[players groaning]
That is still a pass.
- Stamp that sh*t!
- You guys are still flawless.
Extra credit is just that, extra credit.
Incredible. Riz, that is your turn.
- I'm gonna go after the gorgon, I think.
So I'll pop around...
Oh, wait, we got these two guys.
I feel like other people have
things to deal with.
- Yeah, they'll be fine.
- So I'll go up 5, 10, 15, 20.
I'll just get line of sight on it up here.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- [Murph] And then I'll
take a shot at them.
- You have the Help action, so
you will roll with advantage.
- Yay!
- Just so you know,
for future attacks, I do
look like the proctor.
- Oh, good call. Gotcha, gotcha, yes, yes.
- Yeah, that's true.
- 25 on the higher one.
- Yes, that definitely hits.
[Lou clicks his tongue in a cool way]
- 43 damage.
- Riz, describe how you
take this gorgon out.
- I think I pop around the corner.
I sh**t dangerously close to Gorgug's ear.
- Between my legs.
- Watch out!
I thought we were going ear!
I thought we were going ear!
Move your head! Move your head!
- Make a choice!
- Blast that dude, and then I will...
I actually still have Haste,
so I still have another-
- You see, by the way,
alarms up in the stadium
going [mimics klaxon blaring]
like monsters are about
to appear any second.
- Got it. Maybe I'll take a bonus...
How much movement have I
used so far? Does this-
- That's a difficult, yeah.
- 10, 15, 20, okay,
so I've already used most of my movement.
Oh, we got the mimic here.
- Mimic, yeah.
- Does it look hurt at all?
- Yes, Adaine f*cked it up.
- [Lou] Chromatic Orb.
- I hit it for like 26.
- Okay, cool. I can take an attack action.
I'm not gonna get sneak attack,
but I might as well take it.
Here's a cheesy question.
- What's that?
- Based on the wording, with rogue,
you get sneak attack
every turn, not round.
- Yes, correct.
- Can I use an action
to prepare a reaction
to sh**t the first dude
that comes through here?
- Murph, you absolutely may.
[players cheering]
Hell yes, you absolutely may.
- So I'm gonna bonus action hide-
- Smells like cheese.
- ...and then prepare an action.
- A rich Swiss.
- Cool, and that's one of the actions
granted by Haste, correct?
- Haste is an extra action.
- Cool. Amazing.
- I'll hide behind here.
- Hide behind here? Hell, yeah.
Go ahead and give me that Stealth check.
- 24, 'cause Reliable Talent.
- Reliable Talent. God,
Reliable Talent's good.
Okay, 24. You hide.
Riz is moving so lightning-f*cking-fast,
this little shadow flitting
across the b*ttlefield.
g*n ready, you have an action prepared.
Fabian, you technically go
before the next round of monsters arrive.
You can hear them slithering, roaring,
and crawling out of the gates right now.
- Got it.
- You absolutely have the
ability to delay your initiative
fully until after initiative count 20.
- When they come out.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I guess I'll hold. I'll hold for-
- You do have the mimic.
- There's stuff to do but, you know.
- I hear you. I hear you.
- Yeah, I'm gonna hold
until after they emerge.
- Cool, I'm gonna reset
your initiative to 19.
We leave Riz's turn. You
have an action prepared.
Gavin Pundle goes, "All right,
excellent work on that first wave.
Second wave emerging now."
- I wink at him as him.
- He looks up at you and
goes, "Do I look like that?"
- I took some liberties.
- He's so jacked.
- So f*cking jacked.
His Oxford buttons, all the
top ones are trout-mouthing.
- It's like you, but hotter.
- Butter him up. Say
that's what he looks like.
- Cover him in butter.
- Butter up the proctor.
- Be him in butter.
- Butter up the proctor!
Butter up the proctor!
- Okay, so, whenever new monsters show up,
go ahead and roll a d20
and let me know if you get evens or odds.
- Okay.
- Okay? Cool.
- Is this about if they buy my-
- If they buy your disguise.
We'll make it a pure Luck check.
- Okay.
- Rather, they believe
you're both the proctor,
but they have to choose one to attack.
- Okay.
- We'll start at the back door.
Roaring forward, leaping
from the back gate,
Kristen, a manticore leaps
forward from the gate.
What do you want? Do you
want evens or odds? Call it.
- Oh, I already rolled. I got a three.
- Three, so the manticore
looks up at you flying
and clocks you as the proctor.
- Okay. This is good and bad.
[Brennan screeches]
- A massive shrimp dragon-
- [Lou] A shrimp dragon?
- [Brennan] A shrimp dragon.
- [Ally] Nasty. It's like raw
shrimp, so it's still blue.
- [Lou] It's both gorgeous.
- [Emily] He does not think I'm-
- [Ally] Nasty shrimp,
looks so good on top of me.
- Coming out from this other gate,
a roper comes moving out
of the far gate there.
- [Siobhan] Disgusting.
- Every one of these
monsters is so f*cking nasty.
- Both of these guys don't
think I'm the proctor.
I got evens for both of them.
- Okay, gotcha, so the
roper and the shrimp dragon
both clock the proctor
up there as the problem.
A massive umber hulk
comes moving out of here.
Riz, you can take your attack.
- [Murph] Blast him.
- [Brennan] Blast him.
- [Lou] Blast him!
- 17. Oh wait, I have Bless.
- Yeah!
- 21.
- That's right, that's right.
- Hell, yeah. Emerging
alongside the umber hulk,
a swarm of stirges, these
nasty infernal mosquitoes,
come flying out.
- [Siobhan] Ew!
- Any chance the rats are
gonna defend their livelihood?
- [Emily] Whoa, rats versus mosquitos!
- You keep saying
livelihood like the rats-
- They're on the job.
Just 'cause they're on a break right now
doesn't mean that they don't-
- [Zac] I'm picturing, like, a shop owner.
- [Lou] Standing outside with a broom.
- The rats are like, "I've been working
in this coliseum for 40 years, okay?"
- My father and my father's father.
- Go ahead and roll for the stirges,
if you'd be so kind, as well.
- The stirges.
- [Murph] 39 damage.
- Stirges do think I'm the proctor.
- 39 damage to the umber hulk.
- What'd you roll for your attack?
- 21.
- Cool, that definitely hits.
Did you roll for the
umber hulk as well, or no?
- I think the umber hulk does not buy me.
- [Brennan] Okay, so basically-
- I think it's just the
stirge and the manticore.
- So this is really nice,
because a huge problem
you guys were facing
was flying opponents,
given where Gavin is.
All of the flying opponents
on the b*ttlefield
believe that Fig is the real proctor.
- Nice.
- There's a lot.
- There's a lot! Okay,
Fabian, it is your turn.
- [Lou] Okay, I'm gonna step
back 10 feet real quick,
reach into the mimic, and
grab out the Common questions.
- Go ahead, you go and do
that. Okay, the Common.
- [Lou] 5, 10. Yeah, grab it.
- Okay, this is a five minute.
- Oh my god.
- Five minute?
- Woo!
- This is a five minute challenge.
- Gosh, that's so long.
Okay. Please write a 300 word essay
arguing for a proposed improvement
at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy
in the space provided below.
- Just g*n it. Just g*n it.
- We talked about how
field study should count
more towards grades.
- Yes!
- [Murph] Instead of having
to go to classes all the time.
- Yes!
- Yes.
- Provides an applicable
use of our skills.
- Yes.
- Just go on about that.
- We believe a greater amount of our grade
should come from actual
change that we have made
in the world, rather than XP leveling,
AKA what the Rat Grinders are doing.
- And chocolate pudding
in the water fountain.
- Chocolate pudding in the water fountain.
- Add that at the end.
- Yes, add that at the end.
- To sort of pad it out.
- If you need more words.
- And Fetty Whap at every school function.
- But W-H-A-P, right?
- Yeah, Fetty Whap.
- I'm also going to set a minute timer,
because Fabian actually has
to write this essay out,
so for every minute, the mimic
will get an attack on Fabian
as he writes on top of the desk.
- What?
- He's got it, he's got it.
- [Ally] He's got it, he's got it.
- These are physical attacks
and not spell attacks?
- I'm gonna stand above.
- Count the words.
- Oh yeah, so Ally's
gonna count the words.
- Does it have to be 300 words?
- It has to be 300 words.
- Oh my god.
- It's all good. He's got it.
- [Siobhan] Lou, you're
doing absolutely incredible.
- You're really rising.
You're really rising to the occasion.
- We believe in you so much. Spring break.
- Spring break.
- Throw as many "the"s as you
can, as many "a"s as you can.
- Doesn't have to be good,
it just has to be long.
- How're we doing, Beardsley?
- 35.
- 35 words?
- No way!
- Yeah.
- That's it?
- You got it. Keep going.
- You got it! Keep going, keep going!
- Keep going!
- Hand it over if your hand gets tired.
- Yeah.
- Yes!
- So do we need to brainstorm
other parts of this?
- Can we just pass this one?
Do we maybe just wanna pass it?
- Is it helpful for us to keep
talking, Lou, or not helpful?
- 50/50. I do think I will
hand it off in a second.
- [Siobhan] Great.
- Fabian takes 11 points of damage
as he's on a f*cking mimic
writing this essay out.
As these other monsters begin
to crawl out from the thing,
roaring, the shrimp
dragon [snarls] its wings.
The roper begins lashing its tentacles.
The swarm of stirges... [buzzing]
Fabian just burning so much lead,
flying through it as fast as possible.
- Who's next?
- I can go.
- I'm a slow writer.
- It is passed off.
- Almost like Exquisite Corpse style.
You just started a sentence.
- Incredible.
You toss it to Riz.
- Riz!
- Who grabs it and starts writing
up against the other thing.
Riz, stirges are flying towards you.
Fabian, go ahead and take
the rest of your turn.
- Great, me and the hound
will close on the roper.
- Okay, attack of opportunity.
So you did take that damage.
- I take 11.
- Take 11 points of damage.
The mimic misses its
attack of opportunity.
You close on the roper.
- Great. Okay, close on the roper.
I'll take my attack on it first.
First attack is a
- 28 hits.
- Second attack-
- We take the auto thing?
- I mean, we could.
- Does an 18 hit?
- 18 does not hit.
- 18 does not hit.
- You're Blessed!
- I hit it with the Bless.
So for that first attack,
we'll make it a Goading Attack.
DC 17 Wisdom saving throw.
- Fails the Wisdom save.
- Great, disadvantage on
attacks against anyone but me.
We'll burn a 2nd level spell slot for 2d6.
We'll also make this a Defensive Flourish.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- My AC goes up to just 21.
Great. 5, 8, 14.
- Give that to Beardsley.
- 16.
- Just in case, Beardsley.
- 25 points of damage-
- Woo!
- ...for my attack.
I'm gonna roll to see
if the Hangman's fire breath recharges.
- Another minute passes.
Riz, the stirges' fire,
poison barbs that you dodge
while writing the essay on the wall-
- We're getting kinda close.
- We're getting close.
- Are we done?
- Oh, is there any chance
I could roll a second-
- Yeah, print it.
- I had Help from the steam mephit.
- All right, pass it? Okay, auto pass.
[Murph sighs in relief]
Let's see how many words
we were close to here.
- This is 50, 75, 100.
- Oh wow, we shouldn't have even tried.
- Yeah.
- Can we go ahead and
read the essay we have?
- We believe a greater amount of our grade
should come from the actual
good we do in the world.
Given the number of times our adventuring
party have been put in a situation
[Ally screaming]
where the actual fate
of our very existence
has hung in the balance,
it seems only fitting
that the result of our efforts
impact our academic study.
In considering the ultimate...
What is this?
- I think I just crossed that one out.
- Considering the ultimate
goal is to become adventurers,
it makes the most sense
that actual application
of our skills would be most important.
It actually adventuring doesn't-
- If actual adventuring doesn't-
- If actual adventuring doesn't
show our skills, what will?
No matter how many classes I take,
it won't make me a better bard or fighter.
I, Fabian Seacaster, son of
the great Bill Seacaster,
privateer, not pirate...
That was a freshman year thing!
- You've got to just fill it.
- Yeah, exactly.
- You see, so when that
stamp comes in, all of that,
you guys actually manage to
fill out a full 300 word essay
with basically just having-
there was a moment last fall
where you guys wrote this
like you were gonna
submit it to the school.
So that is not just a cheater pass.
That is, earlier academic success
prepared you for this moment.
- Great.
- Fabian, rest of your turn.
- I had advantage on that
roll from the steam mephits.
Can I try one more time?
- Yeah, go for it.
- That's the same thing.
- Okay.
Hellhound. How about the Hangman?
- Doesn't recharge his breath weapon,
so it'll just take a bite attack.
- Cool.
- 18 to hit.
- 18 does not hit.
- Great. Because of Pack Tactics,
it has advantage as well.
That's even worse.
- Okay. The roper, it's
like a living stalagmite.
This rocky, horrifying, tentacled thing
comes scuttling out of the darkness.
You take swings at it.
Fabian, both of your academic challenges
have been passed.
- Great.
- This is going to be the mimic's turn,
and you've used one of your
two academic resources.
The mimic is gonna go,
gonna continue to... [snarl]
Now that it's empty, it's
gonna come swing at Adaine.
Let's see if it hits.
It does not hit Adaine.
No interaction there.
The roper's turn. Your AC is 21, correct?
- 21 currently, yes.
- Okay.
[dice rattling and rolling]
Okay, one tendril hits.
- Did another one miss?
- Three of them missed.
- I'll Riposte one of them.
- Woo!
- I don't think so. 18 again.
- 18 does not do it.
- Do your add your-
- [Brennan] Bless?
- Oh.
- 20 does it!
- Great.
- Yeah!
- There it is.
- There it is,
and we'll burn a 1st level
spell slot with Fandrangor.
♪ Doo doo doo ♪
- Still looking pretty
tough, but you've hit it hard
a couple of times.
- Got it.
- This thing is gonna hit you
with one tendril. It deals...
Oh, no no, I'm wrong. I'm wrong, sorry.
You are grappled.
- Ew!
- You are restrained,
you have disadvantage
on Strength checks and
Strength saving throws.
It pulls you right up towards its mouth,
and now it's going to make a bite attack.
It hits.
[Lou whimpers]
Now it is going to deal-
[dice rattling]
- Is that, like, d4s?
- Yeah, just a bunch of d4s.
- Yeah!
- It deals 31 points of damage to you,
and then it is going to use its...
It slides backwards, holding
you in its mouth and tentacle
to begin ascending the wall.
- Adaine!
[Siobhan stammering anxiously]
Adaine!
- [Brennan] Fig.
- [Siobhan] I don't know
why you're yelling for me!
I don't know what I could do for you!
- That is gonna be you, Fig.
- Okay. What are these things again?
- Those are stirges.
They're nasty, infernal mosquitos.
And that's an umber hulk.
- Infernal, so they're gonna
be resistant to fire damage.
- I think they're also, like,
that shrimp dragon is bad news.
That manticore's bad news.
- Yeah, I just think
that I'm more of an area of effect person.
- I think, have your horse give you Help.
- I mean, I can try.
I'm gonna go fly down to
my thing and get my second-
- Hell, yeah. This is
gonna be Driver's Ed.
[Lou laughs]
- Yeah.
- This is a one minute challenge.
- Okay.
- [Brennan] Begin.
- Okay, what is the proper way
to reverse a vehicle's
orientation 180 degrees
while driving at top speed?
A, signal the turn correctly.
B, slowly decrease acceleration.
C, engage the emergency
brake. It's gonna be that one.
D, rebuild the car facing
the other way while driving.
- Maybe that one.
- I mean, all of the above?
- I think we hit the emergency brake.
- We hit the emergency brake.
C, engage the emergency brake.
- Slide!
- That is correct! There we go.
Mr. Thistlespring, if you would kindly?
- Stamp that sh*t!
- Bam, here we go.
All right, Fig, that is
the rest of your turn.
- Okay, rest of my turn.
I guess the question- yeah,
'cause Fireball's the
only thing that I have
that does a lot of things.
Okay, you guys think I should
try and just attack this guy
rather than doing area of effect?
- Yeah, I think so.
I have area of effect against those guys.
- We need people that do a lot of damage
to start taking out these big guys.
- Okay, all right. [clears throat]
- Not the same dice as before, right?
- It's a different die.
- Yeah, great.
- You want one that's
been rolling good for me?
- No, 'cause I'll ruin yours.
- No!
- Okay, all right, all right.
- Here we go, charging
in on the shrimp dragon.
- Charging up my Booming Blade.
Let me just do a real quick
check. Is he gonna be not...
Does this guy look like he's radiant?
- No, he looks like a
weird, nasty shrimp monster.
- The fire is gonna cook him,
and he's gonna be a
delicious piece of shrimp.
- He's gonna be a delicious fried shrimp.
- Yeah, you got this.
- Cook that shrimp! Cook that
shrimp! Cook that shrimp!
- You got Help if you need it.
You got a Luck point if you need it.
- [Chanting] Cook that shrimp!
- What?
- Cook that shrimp!
- Who?
- Okay, 15 on the die.
- There we go.
- Plus a one. 26 to hit.
- 26 hits!
- Nice.
- Okay!
- That's right! That's right!
- I am going to do my
Booming Blade, my thing,
and I'm gonna do my very
first 4th level Smite.
- Woo!
- 5d8. Here we go.
- Okay, so that's two
ones on the Booming Blade,
so that's two damage there.
[die rolling]
Seven, so nine from my
thing and the other thing.
Now let me do my...
[dice rolling]
Okay, okay. 38 damage.
- Woo!
Describe what it looks like
as you go and absolutely brain
this shrimp dragon with
the Infaethable Bass.
- I think that it's sunlight,
actually, coming out of it.
I think that instead of
the infernal fireball,
I think that I play something,
I play the starting chord
to "Dawn of Justice",
and then my bass lights up
with sunlight, and then I-
- Like that early morning,
orange-ish pink reverse sunset.
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Like when the sunrise
looks like erupting flames.
- Incredible. You all watch
as light shreds through
the weird, translucent,
squishy in the wrong places,
hard and sharp in the wrong places-
- [Ally] Look at that huge sh*t vein.
- The shrimp dragon goes [gibbering]
as you hit it in the head.
Any bonus actions from Fig?
- [Emily] No, I'm gonna
stay in range of him.
- Cool.
- So that if he...
Also, when he moves, he'll
take 3d8 more damage.
- Oh, amazing.
- And also stay within range,
so my Spirit Guardians can hit him.
- Oh, that's awesome. That's a
ton of damage coming his way.
Go ahead and also, if your
steed wants to take any attacks,
go for it.
- Oh, okay. Yeah!
- You got it. There you go.
- All right, come on.
Show up for me, baby.
Okay, he gets a 19 to hit.
- 19 hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
- Nice.
- He rolls better than me. Look at you!
- Boom, boom boom boom!
This massive Daymare, this solar horse,
boom, boom, just covering
this thing in huge hoof marks.
The shrimp dragon, not looking bloodied,
but for one of the more fearsome creatures
to appear on the b*ttlefield,
is already quite injured
just with Fig alone, like a
solar avenging angel fiend,
boom boom boom, pounding down
with the Infaethable Bass.
That is Fig.
Any bonus actions from
you, or are you all good?
- I see Gorgug. I'll
just give him a Bardic.
- Hell, yeah.
- Nice.
- It's a d10 now.
- Gorgug, you get a d10 Bardic,
and you are up next, my friend.
- I think I'm just gonna, from here,
whirl my axe and throw
it a couple more times.
- Hell, yeah. Go for it.
Are you going for the shrimp
dragon? Who are you going for?
- Shrimp dragon.
- Cool, let's do it.
- Trying to get rid of him before he goes.
Nat 20!
- Oh my god!
- Awesome!
- [Brennan] What the f*ck is going-
- I'll take it.
- Same dice, right?
- I think you see-
- It is the same dice.
- As Fig, with radiant
solar fire in her hair,
winks down at you, you feel the
engines you have built here,
all these little gnomish
gadgets picking up
as this primal rage... [grunts]
High school is a hard time,
and figuring out who you wanna be
is one of the biggest, most
important jobs there is,
and you defied everyone's expectations
and told the world who you were gonna be.
The Heavy Metal Axe flies
from your hand. You crit.
That's just your first attack.
- That would knock him prone.
- That would absolutely knock him prone.
- Does that pull him out
of the Spirit Guardians?
- I'll say you're close
enough to the ground
that it would not pull him
out of the Spirit Guardians.
He's also so big that even on the ground,
he's still rising like 10
feet into the air, right?
- Gotcha, okay.
- Awesome.
- Then I'm just gonna keep going.
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Almost 30. And then Reckless.
- Awesome.
- I mean, not Reckless.
- Jesus Christ. Two crits and a hit.
Go ahead and roll damage.
- All right, so these are the two crits.
- f*cking gorgeous.
- f*cking gorgeous, Gorgug.
- Gorgeous.
- Gorg-geous.
- It's this plus 16.
- Gorjudge.
- Okay.
- Jerjudge.
- Jerjuj.
- Gorguj.
- Another 9, so 58 plus another 8,
so 64 damage.
- Jesus Christ.
- Unstoppable.
- The shrimp dragon-
- I can't stop critting!
- You just see horrifying,
viscous, gel-like blood
oozing out of this shrimp
dragon. [gibbering]
- [Zac] Ragh is the shrimp king!
- Shrimp dragon looking maybe
not quite at death's door,
but closer to it than to anything else.
Incredible turn from Gorgug.
Any movement from you?
- I think I'm gonna go 5, 10, 15, 20,
to be over here, I think.
- Cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Just to be able to kind of...
- Hell, yeah.
- See what's going on there.
- Fabian, you've been taking damage.
You don't have any Concentration
on anything, right?
- No, I do not.
- Cool.
All right, Gorgug, that is your turn.
Kristen Applebees, that is you.
- Okay.
- Oh, I took damage.
[die rolling]
I'm good.
- Okay, great.
- I reach into my desk,
grab my last little test.
- Oh wait, I didn't.
'Cause I have my Mirror Image. That's why.
- This also is a one minute exam.
- f*ck.
- And, begin.
Medicine.
- What is the most certain way
for a wounded adventurer
to make a full recovery
from even the most grievous injuries?
Being healed by a powerful cleric,
drink an artifact-level healing potion,
receive a Greater
Restoration from a celestial,
lie down for eight hours.
- Lie down for eight
hours. That's a long rest.
- Yeah, that's a long rest, baby.
- Lie down for eight hours.
- That is correct!
- Stamp it! Stamp it!
- Stamp it, stamp it, stamp it!
- Should I stamp it? Should I stamp it?
- [Brennan] Should I stamp it? Woo, baby!
All right, Kristen, the rest of your turn.
Big mob over here. Roper has
got Fabian in a tight spot.
Manticore coming with these
ochre jellies, approaching you.
Shrimp dragon, very
fearsome, badly injured.
That's the lay of the land.
- It's in my Spirit Guardians,
so I might be able to get him.
- Yeah, how injured is Fabian?
- 50.
- You got 50 HP?
- If I get bit again, it'll be bad,
but I can make it through.
- I'll start making my way over there.
I'll do 5, 10, 15.
- Cool.
- From standing right here,
I'm going to use my staff
and cast Banishment on this.
- On the manticore. Sick as hell.
- I'm afraid of that manticore.
- Banishment is Concentration,
so you'll be losing one of
your Concentration effects.
- Okay, great.
- You could lose Circle of Power.
- Yeah, I'll lose Circle of Power.
- Cool, yeah, you're looking at it,
and you're not seeing
that many spellcasters
emerge from this competition,
or this examination.
- Great.
- Lose Circle of Power.
Cast Banishment.
Banishment, I believe, is a
Charisma saving throw, correct?
- Yep.
- Okay, manticore,
not very charismatic.
- You're kidding.
- Needs an 18 or higher on the die,
or this manticore simply goes away.
[die rolling]
That is a five. Incredible.
[players cheering]
Describe what we see and
where you send this manticore.
- I'm doing homework,
so I'm just kind of really
quietly scribbling for a second,
and then I stand up
and I go, Jesus Christ.
I grab my staff, and it
has those charges to it,
so I use a little under half
of them and I lift it up
and I would say almost like
Magic 8 Ball kind of vibe.
- Yeah.
- Darkness and blue swirl out
and rip it away from this plane,
and let's have it go to...
Is it from a different plane?
- It's a terrestrial monster,
but you can send it to
another plane of existence.
You can send it to the woods
that Cassandra is from.
- I send it to the Rat Grinders' woods.
- You see that the manticore
looks at you, going, [roars]
and it leaps in the air, taking wing,
and then it starts to, its wings-
- My name is Gavin Pundle,
and you can't touch me.
- Its wings start flapping.
- So ripped!
- And it goes [whimpers]
and it's like the die
inside of a Magic 8 Ball
where it just starts
to get purple, float upwards, and vanish.
Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop! Gone, whoosh.
- [Ally] That was half my movement,
so then I'm gonna do- can I jump up here?
- Yeah, absolutely. Cool, awesome.
That's about the rest of your movement.
That follows with you. Any
bonus actions from Kristen?
- How close are you?
I'd love to do a bonus
action Healing Word.
- Healing Word?
- To Fah-bian.
- Fah-bian!
- I think-
- 60 feet, yeah.
- 60 feet. Let's see.
- Amazing. Great.
- Hell, yeah.
So go ahead and roll
that d4 plus your Wisdom.
- I'll do a higher level, I think.
- Okay.
- Stay with us, Fabian.
- I'm fine, mostly.
- Stay with us!
- Don't go towards the light.
- No, I'm not that-
- It's too early!
- We can't lose you!
- Eight plus my spellcasting ability?
- Eight plus your spellcasting ability.
- So 13.
- [whistles] 13.
- [Brennan] 13 total back to Fabian.
- Ooh!
- Incredible. Okay, that is Kristen.
After Kristen goes, the
ochre jellies go again.
to the base. [slurps]
- [Murph] They're going for the proctor.
- They're very slowly going
for the proctor! Hurry!
- Get out of the way, Gavin!
- Okay, the stirges are going to go.
They have a fly speed of 40 feet.
- Wait, but don't they think-
- They think it's you.
- Oh, rad.
- So this Gavin,
this would've been very, very bad.
So 80 feet. Okay, so Fig,
because you are hovering
in three-dimensional space,
you have more than eight spaces around you
'cause you have ones on
top of you and diagonally,
in other directions, the swarm of stirges-
- They're all gonna take radiant damage
as soon they come within 15 feet of me
because of my Spirit Guardians.
- They don't know that
there's a spell going on.
- Yeah.
- They're just like, ah!
- They're like, "There is Gavin Pundle!"
- It's like a bug zapper.
- Fig is literally-
- You just hear... [mimics
electricity crackling]
- ...is literally a bug zapper.
Okay, all of the stirges are
gonna fly and surround you.
[Brennan buzzing aggressively]
It happens when they enter?
- Yeah, it's the first time
they enter on their turn,
or start a turn there.
- Wait, it's the first time they enter
or start a turn there, and
then I have a question.
Does the save negate damage
or is it half damage?
- Okay, when you cast a spell,
an affected creature's
speed is halved in the area,
and when the creature enters the area
for the first time on a
turn or starts it there,
it must make a Wisdom saving throw.
On a failed save, it
takes 3d8 radiant damage.
On a successful save, it takes half.
- Okay, go ahead and roll 3d8.
- Oh no, I did upcast it, so it's more.
- Okay, how much is it?
- It is 19 damage.
- All of you watch the stirge-
[players laughing]
You don't know what's gonna happen.
- [Ally] So sick.
- We don't?
- You don't know what's gonna happen.
You really don't know.
- They all start making out.
- All of the stirge emerge,
fly directly past the real Gavin Pundle,
many of them bumping into and hitting
the actual Gavin Pundle,
[buzzing] and all of them fly
and do not even get within range of Fig
before they are shredded
by red, glowing crystals surrounding Fig.
There's no point in making a saving throw.
Half damage, they are f*cking gone.
All of them fly straight
into their own death.
- That's really good.
- [Ally] That's so sick.
- That was great. That was really funny.
- That's just sorta gloriously efficient.
- Yeah, I could literally
never k*ll those dudes.
It would literally take me 10 turns.
- That's the thing,
Riz would be taken down
by a mob of stirges,
hands-down, absolutely.
- It's your combo of Deception
plus the Spirit Guardians.
- Yeah.
- That is so f*cking funny!
They were gonna be so dangerous and bad.
They were definitely gonna k*ll-
- What were they gonna do?
- They were gonna k*ll
Gavin Pundle for sure!
I mean, for sure. He has no hit points.
So it doesn't matter that
they're weenies. They can fly.
- And there's so many of them,
and I'm sure they're poisonous.
- And they're poisonous,
and they drink your blood.
They're so bad.
What they don't have is
brains or hit points.
That's a potent combo. Fig, you watch.
I think you turn to see them approaching
as this swarm [buzzes aggressively]
and just one by one...
[whimpering pathetically]
Not one gets through.
- Fig, look out!
Or, uh, never mind.
- Hearing wet bodies fall to the ground.
- Ew! Ew!
- Unbelievable.
Blam, blam, blam, blam.
Okay, umber hulk is going
to go. It's gonna go.
- I have two extra AC from Haste.
- Did he pass those rats?
- [Siobhan] Rats get
an opportunity attack?
- Rats are not combatants.
- 19 AC right now.
- They have to defend their livelihood.
- 19 AC right now, gotcha.
- Including that gift? Did
that already bump you up?
- That had to be, I'm
not wearing armor, right?
So I think that took me
from my base AC of 15 to 17.
- Oh, nice.
- Which gives me 19.
- Misses you twice and wheels around
to sink its mandibles
into Kristen Applebees
for 12 points of damage.
- What? What?
- That is gonna be two
Concentration saving throws.
- Also, it would be halved.
- Oh, that's right, so it's six,
and then you take six, right?
- Yeah.
- Nice.
- Okay.
- I need to see something
about Warding Bond, though.
- Warding Bond combined
with being a barbarian.
- Yeah, being with rage.
- I feel like you would.
- I think I should.
- [Brennan] You take the
same amount of damage.
- I would say yes.
- I'm gonna say
that because the damage is
piercing damage, it is halved.
I was gonna say the damage
stays typed to the spell.
So the Warding Bond activates.
You take six points of damage.
You take six halved to three.
[Zac grunts in pain]
But this massive, insectile
umber hulk leaps up
in this direction, and that
is going to be its turn.
- What do I do for the saves?
- Okay, they're both gonna be DC 10,
but you're gonna make one for Bless
and then make one for the Banishment.
- And this one was for Bless.
- Okay.
- I'm at eight. Oh, I have a Bardic still.
- Yeah, you started with a d10.
- d10.
- Five, okay.
- Okay, you hold onto Bless.
Now you're gonna roll for Banishment.
You can add the d4 to this as well.
- 13.
- You're good to go.
- 17.
- You hold onto both Concentrations
as this thing sinks
its mandibles into you.
That is going to go... [sighs]
That is gonna be the shrimp dragon's turn.
- Okay.
- Spirit Guardians.
- It starts out taking 19
damage, but he has a Wisdom save.
- 19 damage, Wisdom save.
- And his movement is halved.
- Makes the save.
- Okay.
- So takes nine points
of damage. [screeches]
Looking so bad, the red crystal
shredding into the dragon.
Now, he knows that you're gonna smack him
if he flies away, so he may not do that.
He's gonna stay in your
threatened area, but get up here.
I'm gonna keep him here,
but he's a little bit-
- Well, he's moving, so
he takes 13 more damage.
- Oh, 13. Hell, yes.
- Yes!
- Oh sh*t, and he was prone,
so his movement was halved again.
- Okay, yeah yeah yeah.
Okay, you deal 13 damage?
- 13 more damage, yeah.
- This dragon is looking
so, so badly injured,
but he's going to land here
and he is going to do
a cone breath weapon.
It's gonna catch you, your steed,
the proctor, and Gorgug in it.
Everyone on the other side is protected
by the cover of the obstacle.
I am going to need Dexterity saving throws
from Fig, her steed,
Gorgug, and Gavin Pundle.
- Sweet Gavin.
- And I can see this,
so I can do this with advantage?
- That is correct.
- Do I add Bless to this?
- Yes, you can add Bless to this.
- I'm gonna have to use
a Luck point for myself.
- Attack and saving throw.
- 19.
- 19, okay.
- 16 for me.
- Okay.
- I can give you-
- Yeah.
- He's gonna be kinda f*cked
no matter what, right?
I'm trying to think of
who I should give my-
- I mean, he might be outright k*lled.
- 22 for my mount.
- What did Gavin get?
- We're gonna roll for
him in the Box of Doom.
The dragon lowers down, and a superheated,
glowing blast of lava-hot acid
bursts out of his mouth,
dealing 44 points of damage.
However, you got a?
- I got a 19.
- Okay, and you got?
- 22 for him. I only got a 16.
- You all save.
- Okay.
- So that's 44 halved to 22.
But your rage doesn't cut
it any more than that,
because it's a non-bludgeoning,
slashing, piercing.
- I might Absorb Elements.
- Okay.
- I'm gonna use a Luck point.
- I'm trying to think if I-
- Trying to keep my Concentration
on my Spirit Guardians.
Maybe not.
- Can I Flash of Genius you?
- You could Flash of Genius
on one of those Concentration checks.
- Let me see. A nine plus five, 14.
- Plus three?
- 22. Oh, it only has to be half.
- Yeah, it's 11. The DC is only 11.
- Oh, so I make it.
- You made it. Concentration's good, yeah.
It's only half, so because
you made the Dex save,
your Concentration was only-
- I will drop rage and Absorb Elements.
- Nice.
- Okay. Drop rage.
Absorb Elements. Hell, yeah.
That's gonna be halved to 11.
You'll still make a Concentration
for holding onto Enhance Ability.
That's gonna be-
- I got 11 on the die,
so that should be good.
- Gavin needs a 13 or higher
on the die to save for half.
That is a 16 on the die.
- Yeah!
- He saves for half.
That's 22 points of damage.
He also has Death Ward on him, right?
- Yes.
- Which means that when he dies,
will that count as a death, or will it-
- Keep him at one?
- 'Cause yeah, he doesn't go to zero.
- You touch a creature and grant it
a measure of protection from death.
The first time the target
would drop to zero,
it instead drops to one.
So you guys basically get
a one time pause button
on one of these monsters dropping Gavin.
- Until we recast! We both
have Death Ward, right?
- I don't have it.
- Warding Bond.
- Gavin takes 22 points of
damage, goes, "Oh, come on!"
and just sort of wipes
the acid off his face.
Ah! Ow, ow!
And writes something down in his notebook.
He is looking bloodied,
but he is not dropped.
- Okay, so Death Ward has not been used,
but we should heal him.
- Yeah.
- That is the shrimp dragon's turn.
Adaine Abernant, that is you.
- Great, first of all,
I'm gonna take my exam.
- Okay, here we go.
- That's right, we're
also doing... [chuckles]
- How many do we have right now?
- I'm done.
- I'm done.
- I'm done.
- I don't know if I've done any of mine.
- Gorgug has not done
either of his, and actually,
after Adaine, you will be
the only one with them left.
- Okay.
- So Fig's already done two?
- Fig's done two. This
is a one minute exam.
This also has extra credit.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- [Brennan] Begin.
- What is the most powerful form of magic?
Chronomancy, of course.
- Chronomancy!
- That is correct!
- What is the easiest object
in which to magically trap an opponent?
- A gem?
- A palimpsest?
- A palimpsest? Yeah, 'cause
it's been scraped clean?
- A lot of people get
stuck in palimpsests.
- What does it say? Object?
- Easiest object in which to
magically trap an opponent.
- [Murph] Palimpsest, right?
- A palimpsest is a gem, though?
- A palimpsest is a gem.
- Maybe just a gem. A gem?
- That is correct!
- Stamp that twice!
- How about it? Stamp it twice, baby.
- How many times? One more?
- One more time! One more time!
Can we get another pitcher
for the table, please?
- We're gonna roll in front of the board,
this time with a d6.
That is a three.
Everyone regains a 3rd
level or lower spell slot.
- So sick.
- Hell, yes.
- Everybody regains a 3rd level or lower.
- Would absolutely love to
get a 3rd level spell back.
- Okay, so, what I am thinking, g*ng,
is that we need to reorganize
where we are sitting
on this f*cking battle map, so
I would like to cast Scatter.
I can move up to five creatures
up to 120 feet away from where they are.
- Yes.
- Whoa!
- So what I'm thinking is
I move our dude over here
up to the top of that f*cking tower.
- Okay.
- That one over there.
And the second person I will
move is Moggy the Doggy,
so he moves with him.
- You're moving the proctor?
- Yeah.
- That's awesome.
- I'm gonna move Fabian
out of being grappled
to wherever you wanna go.
[Lou whimpering]
And I'm gonna move Riz and Kristen,
because they are right next to this guy,
to wherever they wanna go to.
- You can also do it
to unwilling creatures.
They just get a save.
- I know.
- Cool, amazing. So you're gonna move...
So, the first thing that happens is
you move Gavin Pundle to
the top of this tower.
Shwoom!
- He's super bloodied. [screams]
- [Brennan] You see he appears and goes-
- You can reach him with
Healing Word, right?
- Let me double check. I think it's 60.
- I think I can fly and do Healing Word.
- Oh, okay, great.
Yeah, maybe you can just
kinda hang out with him.
- Yeah.
- Where do you wanna move Fabian?
- Where do you wanna move?
Do you wanna stay near to this guy?
- No, absolutely not.
- Or do you wanna just move up here?
- I think either near-
- You can also move up here,
if you wanna attack the shrimp dragon.
- I feel like I'll go
before the shrimp dragon.
- [Siobhan] Great, you
wanna just move up to here?
- [Lou] Yeah, I guess I'll
go fight the shrimp dragon.
- Hangman will be left
there with the roper.
- It's up to how many willing creatures?
- Five.
- You can leave us.
I can Disengage. Don't worry about me.
- Oh, okay, then I'll bring
the Hangman with Fabian.
- [Brennan] Cool, you both, boom,
appear up next to the shrimp dragon.
- Hi, Fig.
- That's three out of five.
- Kristen, do you wanna
maybe move up to here?
- Sure.
- Does that make sense to you?
And you can do AoEs and then heal our guy.
- Yeah, next to Buddy,
you think? Yeah, up there.
- Yeah.
- You wanna get close?
- Not next to Buddy, no.
- Cool, up here? Great.
Kristen's up there, that guy's
there. That's four of five?
- Can I move near the umber hulk?
I feel like the shrimp dragon-
- Yeah, if you'd rather.
- I feel like Gorgug
and Fig have it covered.
- Shrimp dragon had to
get right next to Fig
to do its breath weapon the correct way,
so it'll get hit by Spirit Guardians
at the beginning of its next turn.
- Can I go above the umber hulk?
- You wanna go right here?
- Yeah, that's great.
- Boom.
- Right here?
- Now that I'm on plane with Buddy,
can I do an Insight
check now that I'm close?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay, that's 20, not nat.
- He looks over at you and
says, "This is remarkable."
- He seems totally himself?
- Totally himself.
- And I'm gonna cast True Strike,
just so I have Dodge on me.
- Hell, yeah.
- That was sick, dude.
- So sick, so sick.
- I'm gonna have this mephit,
this mephit, and is this 15?
- That's all the people
you're moving, correct?
- Yeah, that's five.
- Cool.
- This mephit and this mephit,
and let me see if I get
my breath weapon back.
I don't, so this one doesn't
have a breath weapon.
So both of these are gonna
try and blind these guys.
They've got a DC 10 Dex.
- The roper and the umber hulk
are making DC 10 Dex saves.
- [Zac] What was that spell called?
- [Lou] Scatter.
- [Siobhan] Dust mephit.
Oh, Scatter is the spell.
- So first thing, actually,
is I need the dust mephit,
at the beginning of its turn,
to make a Charisma saving throw.
- Okay. Luckily, they're so charismatic.
It gets a 17.
- Wait, which one?
- Okay, you see the mephit goes,
"Mistress, beware the eyes of the beast!"
and manages to cover its eyes.
The umber hulk's weird,
compound, insectile eyes
shimmer with a captivating,
enchanting glow,
but your mephit resists it and can act.
So it's a DC what Charisma save?
- Dexterity save.
- Okay.
- DC 10.
- Umber hulk makes it.
- Okay.
- We're gonna roll for the
roper. Roll for the roper.
- I hate that name.
- The roper fails.
- Great, it's blind.
- You see it has this weird
eye hidden in this rocky eyelid
that opens with a wet suction noise,
and as it does, the dust mephit-
- Everything about it is wrong.
- ...just goes [coughs] and
blows more dust and sand.
[screeches] Blinded.
- Actually, it has a fly speed of 30,
so it's just gonna move up
and be in between Fig
and the shrimp dragon.
- And the shrimp dragon.
Hell, yes.
- My hero!
- Incredible turn from Adaine
Abernant, who literally has,
so far this battle, been
seated the entire time.
- I'm just sitting at my desk, doodling.
- Being like... [mimics
magic blasting violently]
- I can grab your stuff out
of your desk, if you want.
- That'd be great.
- Incredible.
I think there's a boom
of light as suddenly,
everyone is scattered
across the b*ttlefield.
- We just have two tests
left? We've taken 10?
- We just have-
- We've taken 10 questions.
- When this guy hit me, could
I have Hellish Rebuked him?
- Oh, is the word of that
an attack, or just damage?
- A creature that has damaged you.
- You would be able to Hellish Rebuke.
- Why not try it?
- Give it a shot.
- Hell, yeah.
- Yeah, I'll do a 3rd
level Hellish Rebuke.
- Hellish.
- Hellish!
- Hellish.
Whoa, that's better than
I've rolled for anything.
- Wow!
- Fig, describe to me what
your Hellish Rebuke looks like
when it destroys this shrimp dragon.
- Yeah!
- Yes!
- I open my mouth, and daylight comes out.
- You guys smell
incredible roast shrimp.
- How many lumens is that?
- It smells so-
- Oh wow.
- [Lou] I'm hungry.
I did not eat breakfast this morning.
- [Ally] Is that lemon and pepper flakes?
- It smells, the butter-
- Oh, it's the butter.
- [Siobhan] How did you
make it smell of butter?
- Ever since I rode that buttered ramp,
I smell like butter.
- Yeah, you just have a pat
of it on you at all times.
- [Siobhan] Everything is kinda buttery.
- It's like when you work
at Subway Sandwiches.
- Incredible.
- [Siobhan] Just the bread
smell ingrained in your skin.
- Bread and mustard for
the rest of your life.
- Wow, wow, wow. You guys
are making mincemeat.
It's the manticore's turn.
It stumbles in an alien world,
getting in touch with
the power of mystery.
- Sick.
- Sick!
And we are back to Riz Gukgak.
You see the alarms start once again.
Gavin says, "Wave three
incoming." [mimics klaxon blaring]
- We still have the umber hulk!
- We have two biggies left!
- And the roper!
- Wait, which biggies? Oh, yeah.
- The roper.
- And this f*cking mimic.
- Why don't-
- That mimic is really funny.
- Okay, I'm gonna have to
probably use a thing to
disengage. Gorgug, you
want me to grab your thing now?
- Oh, the f*cking blobs!
- If you can.
- Okay, I think I can. Great.
Gorgug, where is your desk?
- This one. That's Gorgug.
- Okay, cool.
- Adaine said she could get it,
if you don't wanna go for it.
- I think we need to get two anyway.
Well, first things first,
I'll go after the umber hulk
with the Sword of Shadows.
- Okay. Actually, sorry,
first things first-
- I think after the first scare
and the dust mephits
yelling, wouldn't I not look?
- Unless surprised,
a creature can avert its eyes
to avoid the saving throw-
- I can't be surprised.
- ...at the start of its turn.
If the creature does so,
it can't see the umber hulk
until the start of its next turn,
when it can avert its eyes again.
If the creature looks at the
umber hulk in the meantime,
it must immediately make the save.
So your choice, you can
attack with disadvantage
by averting your eyes from looking at it.
- What about being behind
it? 'Cause he's totally-
- Because its eyes are so
large and bulbous on its head,
it just swivels its head around to try to-
- Aren't they just filled
with dust and closed?
- I have really bad Charisma and sh*t,
so I'm not even gonna f*ck with this guy.
I say bye.
- The Ball, where are you going?
- Your guy! I'm going to Disengage.
- Your guy?
- Yeah, I'm gonna
Disengage and go over to-
- So you avert your eyes. Free action.
Disengage, run over here.
So you've bonus action
Disengaged, awesome.
- Of course The Ball chooses school.
- Object interaction, you
look into Gorgug's desk.
You see Biology and Mathematics.
- Biology or Mathematics?
- Both pretty bad. Math.
- Let's go math.
- You toss math up to Gorgug.
- Hell. Absolute hell.
- Long division.
- This is a two minute exam.
- Read it out loud and
we'll write it down.
- Get ready to read it out. Begin.
- Two trains are driving
towards one another
on the same track.
The first train leaves Elmville at 5:05 AM
traveling at 60 miles per hour.
The second train leaves
Bastion City, 135 miles away,
at 5:30 AM traveling at 70 miles per hour.
What is the exact time
the collision will occur?
- What's the distance
between those two places?
- 135.
- 135? Okay.
- 25 minutes.
- 5:05 is the starting time for one,
and then 5:30 the other.
- So at 6:05, the guy will be 60 miles.
- So it's 60 miles per hour.
I don't honestly know how to do this.
- What's 60 divided by 5?
- 30. No, what?
- Wait, 60 divided by five?
- No, 12. It's 12. Oh my god.
- I thought you said 30 divided by five.
- Yeah.
- How do y'all feel about this?
- Good, good, good, good, good!
- Yeah, let's see how we do.
- I'm just not even gonna do it.
I don't have any interest.
- I just can't do this kind
of math. If it was just-
- What was the final question?
What time do they meet?
- What is the exact time of the collision?
- If I roll a nat 20, can I just be right?
- Yes!
- It's just under 6:30.
- No, it's just over 6:30.
- Just over 6:30?
- Yes.
- Yes, you're right. Just over 6:30.
- The exact time.
- It's over 6:30?
- It's just over 6:30, because then-
- What is the exact
time? Should I say 6:30?
- No, because then, no
no no, you're right,
it's just under 6:30.
- One second.
- 'Cause they left earlier.
- Yes.
- 6:05, so it's somewhere between-
- [Murph] Should we take
the pass on this one?
- Pass. We took it.
- Nice.
- Took the pass with the sand running out.
Gorgug, you get it, and
you've used your second pass.
Whatever this next one is,
you will not have an
academic resource to know.
You know intuitively,
all you've been doing
is artificer equations all the time.
You know that the trains will meet
at 6:20 AM and 46 seconds.
- Oh my god.
- We would've had to have done seconds.
- Of course! Of course!
- Wouldn't have gotten there.
Holy sh*t. Holy sh*t.
- It was five on the hour.
- The longer you guys
didn't take mathematics,
I was like, there is one that I designed
for the pass in mind.
Literally, the character's
been studying engineering,
and we're all comedians.
- Thank you for trying. I had no hope.
- Oh my god.
- Whatever this last one is,
there is no academic resource left.
It must be solved by you.
- And we have to pass everything?
- You have to pass everything.
- Yeah, we just have one more.
- Okay.
- Let's see what we've got here. 5, 10.
- [Siobhan] Oh no. You
know what it's gonna be?
- Biology?
- It's gonna be a sex question.
It's gonna be about docking.
- You know it's gonna be about docking.
You know the school's
gonna ask us about docking.
- What are they gonna ask
other than, what is docking?
- They're gonna say, how
good does docking feel?
- Be real right now.
- Be real. Okay.
- A million.
- And I'm going to, is
there anything else-
- I will say, by the way-
- Oh, wait, actually-
- Riz, I will say, you
have automatic advantage
on the roper because it is blinded.
- Ooh!
- Just throwing that out.
- Okay, so then I will take
an attack on the roper.
- Okay.
- Yeah!
- Damn, we were circling that.
- It was annoying.
- It would have been
devastating to say 6:20, though,
and have finally gotten to
there, and gotten it wrong
'cause of the 40 seconds,
so I'm so glad we stamped.
- I've maybe never known how to do that.
- Yeah, I-
- But no.
- Listen to that bag of bricks.
- Did you hit-
- Yeah.
- Bag of bricks!
- Cool.
- 35 damage.
- 35 damage to the roper.
It is looking f*cked up.
- Okay, then I will prepare a reaction
to sh**t it if it moves.
- Hell, yes. [mimics klaxon blaring]
I'm gonna roll a d4 in front of the board.
I'll let you all know,
Fabian, you've already delayed
your initiative past when monsters appear.
This is going to be a d4.
You want a three exactly.
That's a one.
- That's not a three.
- I'm gonna need a Dexterity
saving throw from Fig.
- 16.
- Remember to add Bless.
- Oh, yeah!
- Let it rip.
- 18.
- Okay, you pull up on your steed.
We're gonna describe
what happens in a second.
Erupting from over the roper
is a full wyvern [screeches]
that takes to the sky.
Go ahead-
- I'm not scared of him.
You know why, Brennan?
- Why?
- He's 'armless.
- [snorts] Oh no.
- Adaine, what'd you say?
- I said he's 'armless!
- You're gonna be the
first to die, Adaine.
- I don't think so.
- Odds or evens?
- Okay.
- Eight.
- Evens.
- Wyvern clocks this guy right up here
and begins to take wing after him.
- Okay.
- We're then gonna move.
Out of this side thing
over here, a crab man.
He comes out and goes, "Crab
man!" at the top of his lungs.
- No, no.
- You're running out of ideas.
- You had a shrimp dragon and a crab man?
- Bursting from this back one over here,
rust monsters.
- [Zac] Nice.
- [Lou] Oh, is that a
projectile it's sh**ting?
- [Brennan] Yes, it's barfing
acid up in a big line.
- Oh, that's too many.
- That's probably too many.
No, no, you don't need any more.
- I think that was already too many units.
- Brennan, you can stop.
- [firmly] That's enough!
- That's enough, dude!
Galloping behind the wyvern
as well, out past the roper,
you see a creature.
[Siobhan gasps]
- A pentacorn!
I almost made this my Find Greater Steed.
How convenient it would have been!
- A pentacorn. It would have...
I'm glad you didn't,
'cause it would have robbed
me of an enemy in this battle
when we would have needed to use the mini.
A beautiful, 20-legged pentacorn
with five glorious horns.
- [Emily] She's gorgeous.
- [Siobhan] Truly maybe the most
beautiful mini I've ever seen.
- Yeah, that's really cool.
- You see all the Agueforts
all take a moment and go,
"For you, Figueroth Faeth,
we have made this creature,
after long months of toil."
- Finally! I get off and get onto it.
- [Brennan] I get off and
get onto the pentacorn.
- You imagined it just
having five HP, right?
- What you dodge, avoiding all damage,
is the eruption of the gate underneath you
as a purple worm [screeches]
[players screaming]
comes roiling out of the debris.
- Thank you for the Bless!
- I'm gonna move you back
as this purple worm appears,
destroying the rats.
- [Lou] No! Their livelihood!
- [Murph] See? They should've
fought for their livelihood.
- [Lou] The small business they created!
- The rust monsters
automatically don't see him.
Give me a roll for the crab man.
- Crab man thinks I'm-
- Crab man thinks it's you.
Give me a roll for the pentacorn.
Pentacorn clocks Gavin. Give
me a roll for the purple worm.
- Purple worm thinks I'm him.
- Thinks you're Gavin, okay.
Purple worm thinks it's you.
- This thing's super strong, right?
- It's so good.
- It's so bad. It's so bad.
- Purple worm and pentacorn, or rather,
the only ones that believe it's Gavin,
I believe, are the wyvern-
- These two over here.
- Yeah, those two over there
have clocked the real Gavin.
Everybody else assumes it's Fig.
- And only this one can fly.
- I feel like I have
to go after the wyvern,
'cause I can fly.
- Definitely.
- Fabian, it is your turn to act
as these new monsters appear on the field.
- Do we need to die before
they can k*ll Gavin?
Is that a thing?
- Is that true?
- We gotta get this last question first.
- Oh yes, we have to get the question.
We can think about dying later.
- Do we have to die?
- You've heard mixed things.
You've heard that no one has
ever survived the test before.
- Let's k*ll all the
monsters, and then if we feel
like we're gonna fail,
we can k*ll each other.
- Why don't we just try to
protect him at all costs,
and worry about that later?
- I just wanna be considering our options!
- You hear me shout, maybe!
- I'll cut off my head.
- I'm just saying, I call
Fabian. I call Fabian.
- All right, yeah.
- What?
- [Brennan] Fabian, that is you.
- Do I, because of my
immunity to being Charmed,
do I get the sense I can look
into the umber hulk's eyes?
- Give me Insight. Give
me a DC 20 Insight.
- I didn't get that.
- You don't know. You don't
know if it would work.
- Then I'm gonna look it dead in its eye.
- Give me a Charisma saving throw.
- Okay.
- You roll Bless with this.
- I'm excited about what
I'm seeing on these dice.
How do you feel about...
How do you feel about a 13?
- I don't feel great about it.
On a failed saving throw,
you cannot take reactions
until the start of your next turn.
Roll a d8.
- Eight.
- You have Confusion, maybe.
- On a seven or eight, the
creature makes one melee attack
against a random creature,
or does nothing if no
creature is within reach.
Well, so, you look down at the umber hulk.
You gotta roll a d20.
Evens is umber hulk, odd is Hangman.
- Those dust mephits are also there.
They're not dead yet.
- [Brennan] But they
are down on the ground,
out of reach for Fabian.
It's about Fabian-
- Oh, it's about Fabian.
- Fabian has Confuse. He
has to roll to randomly-
- Even?
- Even is umber hulk.
- Okay, thank god.
- Cool, so the umber hulk whips
around and goes [chittering]
and its eyes ripple and make
you feel strange and confused.
You see the umber hulk
in a maroon velvet suit,
dancing through an old diner.
- Ew.
Velvet is so tacky!
- [grunts] And you just stab.
It picked the wrong fabric
for a very rich kid.
- There it is.
- Go ahead, but you're only
gonna make one weapon attack.
- Great.
- Get it.
- That's not bad. How do we feel about 32?
- 32 is absolutely gonna do it.
Go ahead and roll damage.
- Great.
We'll make it a Trip attack.
DC 17 Strength saving throw.
Oh, no, excuse me, I'm out of
those. I'm way out of those.
- No, no worries. Okay, great.
- But I will throw a Bardic to
make it a Defensive Flourish.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Defensive Flourish, the attack itself,
and we'll put a 1st level spell on this.
- Hell, yeah.
- 8, 15, plus 9, 24 points of damage.
- Woo!
This umber hulk confuses you,
and you stab it right in one of its eyes
and it goes [screeches]
and goes from being injured to bloodied.
It is f*cked up by that attack.
But you only get one weapon attack,
'cause you're under
the Confused condition.
- Great. Can I do other things?
Or is that the end of my actions?
- On a failed save,
the creature can't take
reactions for the next turn,
rolls d8 to determine what
it does during that turn.
So no, your turn is
done. One weapon attack.
- How do you break it? Just
by breaking Concentration?
- So, it's an effect that
only lasts for that turn,
so you come out of it
at the end of your turn.
It's basically just f*cking with your turn
'cause of its weird, crazy eyes.
- Great.
- That's Fabian. Mimic is going to go.
- Hangman's gonna try-
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- ...to recharge breath weapon.
- Let's see if he recharges.
- He does not.
- Okay.
- Can he bite it from there?
- He can try to bite it,
but he's gonna have to do the
same Charisma saving throw.
- Oh, he has to look at
it. Can he do it blind?
- He can do it blind. He
can take disadvantage.
- Close your eyes, Hangman!
- All right.
- How do you feel about an 11?
- Not great.
- Okay.
- We move to the mimic's turn.
This thing has just been
chewing on Adaine for so long.
He's gonna make another attack.
- And I have Dodge on.
- You have Dodge on.
That's disadvantage, so I can't
keep the 19 I just rolled.
And instead, I keep the
four. That's so sad for me.
You honestly are moving your...
You see everything this
mimic is ever going to do.
Its path in the pattern of
fate is so familiar to you
that it just cannot get a bite in.
That's the mimic's turn.
Roper is going to go.
Roper is gonna-
- [Lou] Ew.
- That guy is still f*cking there.
- Still blinded. Does it roll
again at the end of its turn?
- Great question. Yes,
at the end of its turn.
- Okay, it moves. I sh**t it.
- Yeah!
- sh**t it!
- Yeah, 28 to hit.
- 28 hits.
- Baby, baby!
- [Emily] Go for the purple worm.
I got, I think, the wyvern.
At least I've got him again
with Spirit Guardians-
- [Murph] 26 damage on that one.
- With 17 hit points left.
- Yeah!
- This thing was about to send,
its reach, with its tendrils, is 60 feet.
- Oh my god.
- Even with disadvantage...
And by the way, the only
reason it didn't tangle up
everybody last turn was
Fabian's Goading Attack.
So Riz, as this thing
goes to hit you, Adaine,
everything across the
field, blinded or not,
tendrils flying, you raise up and, vwoom!
Right in the slit of its eye,
this nictating membrane opens,
and it's enough for you to put a b*llet
through its eye into its brain.
The roper is dead.
- Hell yes, The Ball.
- Done. Goodbye.
Just a big pile of monsters
on this b*ttlefield.
That's your reaction. Crab man!
- Ew.
- What's up, crab man?
- He thinks Fig is the proctor, right?
- It thinks Fig is the proctor.
So it's gonna go 5, 10, 15, 20.
- [Emily] That's difficult terrain.
- 25, 30, up here, but it's got the reach.
It's gonna go for Fabian.
What's your armor class?
- I think a four, so that's currently 23.
- Okay, it hits.
- Crab man?
- I know the Crab King, and
you're nowhere as strong as him.
- Hits and crits.
- Silvery Barbs. Oh wait,
no, no more reactions.
- 17 points of damage,
and you are grappled as
this crab man hits you.
- Oh, god! Let go of me!
- [Siobhan] Fabian, stop
hugging the bad guys!
- I know I'm beautiful, but Jesus!
- So Fabian, in his confused state,
gets grabbed by this crab man.
Figueroth Faeth, this is your turn
as this purple worm... [gurgles]
- We wanna get out of here
and close with the wyvern.
- Okay, you don't need to take Disengage
if your steed takes Disengage.
- My steed takes Disengage.
- Okay, cool, but it is a close call.
That purple worm, chomp! As
your Daymare flies out of there.
You get to the wyvern.
- I had used my final Luck
point on a Concentration check
that I had actually already made.
- You may have it back.
- I can have it back.
- Yes, you may.
- Okay, if that's the case,
guys, is there any point in me
trying to just attack this guy?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, why not?
- Definitely. Fireball?
- No, her Smite.
- No, I was gonna try and-
- Smite?
- Attack. I just think that's-
- Hell, yeah.
- Yeah, you have Bless, right?
- This wyvern will be quickly
able to cross the b*ttlefield.
- I know, I know.
Well, no matter what, he's
in my Spirit Guardians,
and his speed will be halved.
- Yeah.
- [Lou] Let it rip!
- I'm gonna use the Luck point.
- Okay.
- Here we go, here we go.
- Okay, that's definitely,
probably gonna hit.
That's a 27 to hit.
- 27 hits.
- Okay.
- And you don't have
Extra Attack, correct?
- No.
- No, okay.
- I do, though, have a 2d6 extra acid
from taking that damage.
- Yes, you do.
- This is the first time
it's ever come into play.
- Oh, it absorbed into the bass?
- And you have Smites still?
- Yeah.
- So actually, you didn't
get that. You got a crit.
[Brennan cackling]
[players cheering]
- So we're doubling, oh my god,
doubling acid damage and
doubling crit damage.
- Okay, so then that
becomes 10d8 for the Smite,
plus 4d8 for the Booming Blade,
plus 2d8 for my bass,
plus 4d6 for the acid.
And then will that
also, the Booming Blade,
then he'll take extra damage if he moves?
- Yeah. He takes an extra 4d8.
- For that Smite? Okay.
I'm rolling it on here.
- Oh my f*cking god!
- That is 87 points of damage.
- Beautiful.
- You guys, should I attack?
I don't know if I should attack.
- I mean, it wouldn't have
looked like that without Adaine.
- Siobhan and Emily, describe for me
what the use of a critical
hit in a Portent looks like,
and then what happens to
this wyvern as it's still up,
but you have moved it from
uninjured to death's door,
and it has to contend with a Booming Blade
and Spirit Guardians.
- And Spirit Guardians.
I think I look at Adaine and say,
I think I shouldn't have
taken these paladin levels.
- Are you crazy?
And I basically superimpose a r*fle target
onto the most vulnerable
part of the wyvern.
- All right, I'll give it
a try. [screams powerfully]
- You all see, the sky
is filled with moons,
the green, sickening clouds
part in this strange realm,
and a new day dawns
as the sky fills with fiery horses.
Pow!
- My god.
- Unbelievable. I can't
believe I'm gonna ask this.
Any bonus actions from Fig?
- Yeah, since that's only a cantrip,
I'm gonna heal Fabian.
- Hell, yeah.
- Ah, thank you! Incredible!
- I'm gonna do, let me see,
I'm gonna do a 3rd level Healing Word.
- Here we go.
- 14.
- Dreamy.
- 14 hit points healed, Fig
astride this massive Daymare,
fiery rage, rebellion, justice, boom!
Gorgug Thistlespring, that is your turn.
- Wow, okay. Go into a rage.
Bonus action, go into a rage.
I look at the purple worm
like, what's up, man?
I'm just gonna take two
attacks at it from here.
- Here you go.
[dice rolling]
- Does a 22 hit?
- 22 hits.
- Okay, and then my second attack.
[dice rolling]
Nat 20.
- Oh my god.
- Oh my god!
- Oh my f*cking god.
- [Ally] Wow! When you got it, you got it!
- He got it.
- You got it, you got it.
That hasn't even rolled
well this whole season, too.
- This fight is the most badass
this adventuring party has ever been.
As Fig Smites this wyvern
to within an inch of death,
quite likely to just die at
the beginning of its turn,
the purple worm, having
missed Fig, turns. Saliva.
- I'm just spinning.
- It rears back.
As it lunges, Gorgug
knocks it out of the air,
and it goes prone underneath his axe.
- Hell, yeah, dude. Sit down!
You're freaking rocking the boat, my guy.
- This is c*ck.
All right.
- Buck nasty, dude.
- 29 plus 16.
- Mayor of crit city over here.
- 29 plus 16?
- 45.
- 45.
- You deal 45 damage
and knock this purple worm prone.
This massive monstrosity hits the deck.
- I'm really teeing up right here.
I'm hitting dingers.
- Unbelievable. Any bonus actions?
- I raged.
- You raged. Yep yep yep.
- I'm gonna move over here.
- Hey, what's up, Gorgug?
- Hey, how's it going?
- I'm all right. I saw you
knocked down that purple worm.
I'm gonna get out of
this crab in a second.
You just watch.
- You want me... Okay, I'll watch.
- No, I don't want help. I'm good.
- Now the rust monsters are going to go.
- Ooh.
- What are they?
- They have a speed of 40.
- They think I'm the proctor.
- Oh, they do?
- Yeah, 'cause they can't see him.
- Oh, f*ck, that's great.
- 5, 10, 15, 20, 25.
Do they have a climb speed?
They don't have a climb speed.
They gotta find the stairs.
- Gotta find the stairs.
- Which are all the way over here.
- All the way over here!
- Thanks, Rick.
- So, they're actually going to-
- I paid Rick $450 to put the stairs
on that side of the b*ttlefield.
- Money well spent.
- Okay.
- Rick had a ladder right there.
- Yeah.
- Lou slipped him a 20.
- Lou came in and flicked
it off of the battle map.
- [Siobhan] And then just
handed him a wad of cash.
- [Lou] I said, you don't
tell anybody sh*t, Rick.
- Actually, they are gonna attack the...
- [Lou] Buy your wife
some chicken tandoori.
- They are going to attack the mephits.
What are the mephits' armor class?
- 12.
- 12, okay. That's three hits.
Let me know if our friend goes
away. It takes five damage.
- Oh, I forgot-
- Four damage.
- Uh-huh.
- Five damage.
- It's still up.
- Okay, more rust monsters are coming.
Let's go. Two more.
- Rust versus dust!
- A lust for dust. Two misses.
They're all circling up on one mephit.
Come on, rust monsters!
- [Zac] The chosen one.
- This is such...
This is really funny.
- Two more hits.
- Great, so when the mephit dies,
it explodes in a burst of dust.
Each creature within five feet of it
must then succeed on a DC
or be blinded for one minute.
- Does that include the
umber hulk and the crab man?
- It absolutely does.
- Oh no!
- [Siobhan] Certainly the umber hulk.
- Oh no! You made a bunch of little bombs!
- Yep.
- Oh god!
- [Ally] Oh my god!
- They don't do any damage,
but they f*ck you up-
- Battle of the Brands,
baby, all over again.
- All over again.
- Plinth city.
- [Brennan] Okay, so we're gonna roll for-
- I had to read so many
f*cking mephit cards
to find the good one.
- Okay, four of the rust monsters make it,
and then two of them don't, so we'll go,
these two with the spray are blinded.
- [Siobhan] Great.
- And then what we'll go ahead and do is,
I'll roll in front of the board,
and it's Constitution, correct?
- It is Constitution, yeah.
- Okay.
- DC 10.
- Umber hulk gets a plus
three. Crab, also a plus three.
So a seven or higher. We'll
say this is umber hulk.
Four, fails!
- Oh my god!
- [Brennan] Umber hulk, blinded.
- I can see!
- The crab fans.
- Okay.
- It's looking deep into your eyes.
- Stop.
- Incredible.
- So since the umber hulk is blinded,
can it use its eye weapon?
- I am gonna say that
we're gonna actually make
that a roll of the die.
But rules as written, no.
But it just makes too much sense.
So on evens, its eye function is gone.
So you see your dust mephit
looks up at you and goes... [coughs]
- Bye bye.
- My queen!
Dust everywhere.
- That's all, folks.
- The umber hulk goes [screams]
and these huge membranes cover its eyes
as it tries to wipe dust out of it.
The Confusion effect is no more.
Okay, Kristen Applebees,
that is your turn.
- I will cast a
You need heals, right?
Anybody else take any hits?
- [Siobhan] I'm good.
- I mean, I would take a little bit.
- I would take a little bit.
- [Ally] Okay, cool, then I'll do that.
- Can you get the guy?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
- Plus five, so let's see.
Seven, nine,
- Oh, thank you.
- To this guy up here.
And then I think it says
that it's a bonus action,
but so is Mass Healing Word,
and I was wondering if you would allow me
to reach into my pocket of my tracksuit
and feel this disgusting
Eye of the Vulture-
[Siobhan gasps]
- Okay.
- ...and eat it.
- Okay, you eat the Eye
of the Vulture King.
- Yeah, it gives me
Truesight for one minute.
- Okay, you bonus action eat
the Eye of the Vulture King.
- Oh my god! It's like a bad
olive inside of a bad olive.
- I'm gonna say, 'cause
it's a bonus action
to cast that spell, but
it is also a bonus action
to cast that, I am going to
say the effect of the eye
will come at the beginning
of your next turn, okay?
- Okay.
- Cool.
- I wanna see who this-
- Who's Buddy?
- Gavin's looking almost back to full.
He looks up at you and says, "Okay,"
and writes something down in his book.
- Back to full.
- Yeah, anyone who needed it.
It can be up to six people,
so I don't think enough
of us even need it.
- You guys take take it.
- Fabian.
- I took it.
- I'll take it.
- So Kristen, after your turn,
you're the only one who can see this.
Both ochre jellies hear
the teleportation from Adaine's Scatter,
turn to each other and go
[squeaky dejected sigh]
and turn around to begin to walk back up.
Spend their whole turn to
go one, two, three, four.
There you go.
It's a long way.
- A long way to eventually k*ll us.
- Can we do a spinoff about these two?
- [Ally] Yeah, that's a side quest.
- Can I play one of them?
- Can we do a Pixar short?
- A two episode mini quest.
- I believe you are out of range
of the pentacorn's physical
attacks. It rears up-
- Oh, but if it's within 15 feet of me-
- Beginning of its turn. Yep, absolutely.
- They'll do a Wisdom save.
- It hits a nat one on its Wisdom save.
- 18 damage.
- Nice!
- 18 damage from the red dust.
The pentacorn rises up and
hits you with Banishment.
- I'm gonna, do I have it? Counterspell.
- Okay.
- Wait, do I have a reaction? Yes, I do.
- You do have a reaction, okay.
So you see this pentacorn
tries to just one shot you
and free up the wyvern.
- I'm not even gonna try and save that.
- You knock it out from
there, and you see-
- I use a 6th level Counterspell.
- Hell, yeah, the pentacorn gears up,
and you see it's going to begin to use
some legendary actions.
That's the purple worm.
It is going to use half its movement
to right itself.
- Why?
- It can see where Gavin
Pundle is, but it also knows
who just humiliated it, and
it is primal and rageful.
- Me too.
- It's gonna make two
attacks against Gorgug.
- No, no!
- You got this, Gorjudge.
- Gorjudge!
- Gorjudge.
- Jorjuj.
- That is two hits on Gorgug.
We'll resolve the tail stinger first.
You take 18 piercing
damage, halved to nine.
Give me a Constitution saving throw.
- Plus Bless, right?
- Yep.
- So that's a 19.
- That just saves.
You are still gonna take a ton of damage.
You take 22,
which you cannot halve further.
- Poison damage is halved, though?
- Yes, it's 25, but your
rage won't cut it in half.
So you take 25 points of
damage. How's Gorgug looking?
- Pretty good, honestly.
- Okay, so that is the
poison damage you take.
This thing is now gonna hit-
it also hits you with a bite attack.
This is the nasty one.
- That's the nasty one?
- I'm gonna need a Dexterity saving throw.
This is Box of Doom.
- Come on, crit!
- You know who to roll.
- You know who to roll.
- Hit the Bless first!
Hit the Bless first!
- Yeah, hit 'em with the Bless first.
That's a three. What do
you add to Dexterity?
- My Dex saving throw, I only add one.
- So four.
You need one of these two
dice to be a 15 or higher.
- Okay.
- All right.
- Oh, that's a crit! That's a crit!
- That's a crit!
- Oh my god!
- That is a f*cking crit! Oh my god.
- Is it the butt or the
face? The butt or the face?
- The most crits I've ever-
- Yes, this is so crazy.
- It's crit city, baby.
- You take 21 piercing
damage, halved to 10.
As the thing goes to swallow
you and you literally leap,
standing on its lower jaw,
with a hand on its upper jaw,
holding its mouth open. [roars]
- [Zac] So just 10?
- Just 10 piercing damage, or
it would have swallowed you,
and you would have vanished
off the b*ttlefield.
- Jesus!
- Okay.
- It would have swallowed you whole.
That is going to be, okay,
you need some Concentration checks on-
- Wait, I actually don't
have a Concentration spell.
- Okay, Cat's Grace is gone? Gotcha.
- Yeah, I lost it when I dropped the rage.
- Yep, makes sense. Yep, yep, yep.
That is the purple worm's turn.
Umber hulk, blinded, is going to-
It's gonna attack Fabian
with disadvantage, actually.
It's gonna just try to swing...
No, but you're restrained.
But I don't think that actually matters.
You're not prone,
so it's still gonna
attack with disadvantage.
That's a miss on Fabian.
That's another miss on Fabian.
[Lou whimpering dramatically]
But you see, it's going
to vanish into the earth
and start burrowing.
- No, come back!
- Oh sh*t.
- It's burrowing.
- Really? That much movement?
- No, no, no.
- It's just off the table.
- I'm moving it off the table,
as you see it begin to burrow.
- Yeah, I was like, what?
- So it starts to burrow.
Adaine Abernant, that is your turn.
- Okay, first of all, I'm gonna roll
for these two dust
mephits that I have left
to see if they get their
breath weapons back.
That one does not, and
that one does not. Okay.
They both move out of
opportunity attack range,
purposefully-
- Yeah, minimum damage,
so that one blows up next to the wyvern.
- Great, so DC 10.
- Okay.
- Constitution save for both of them.
- Pentacorn makes it.
Wyvern might not make it.
The DC is 10 and it's Constitution?
- Yeah.
- Wyvern, blinded.
- Nice.
- Unbelievable.
- And same for this other dust mephit.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- Right here with the purple worm.
- Moves away, worm snatches it up.
He instantly devours it,
uses its reaction to do so,
which is pretty big news for
Gorgug, and it's gonna roll.
Makes its Con save.
- Okay, great. Now...
Ooh, do I wanna-
- These mephits were g*dd*mn
heroes out here. Okay.
- I'll never look at
dust the same way again.
- I'm going to cast Bigby's
Hand at a 7th level.
- Holy sh*t!
- Just warming up.
- 7th level.
So I'm going to do a Clenched Fist attack
against the purple worm.
- Ooh, okay. Go for it.
- Do you have a mini for that?
- Yeah, you do.
- A maxi?
- Oh, I do have a maxi.
- [Brennan] Bam, a fist of arcane energy
is gonna come and sucker punch
this f*cking purple worm
in the back of the head.
- Oh, Bless.
- 19 hits.
- Great, okay.
- This Bless, the amount of misses
this Bless alone has turned into hits-
- Truly. So that's 8d8.
- Wow.
- You need some d8s?
- Yeah, you need some d8s?
- Sure, yeah, send me your
kids. I need four kids.
- Here you go.
- There you go.
- Great.
[kids rattling]
Okay.
- My kid got a seven.
- My kid got a one.
- 34 damage.
- 34 damage.
Talk about Adaine's Furious Fist.
This massive arcane fist
punches the purple worm in the head.
That is your action.
- I am going to bonus
action True Strike again,
just to keep Dodge on me.
- Hell, yeah.
- And actually, I'm gonna
move over to Gorgug's desk
and pull his last biology test out.
- Thank you.
- Nice.
- This is your last one.
- Yeah.
- A perfect grade in
the Last Stand-ard Exam
will save all of you from expulsion,
keep you all on your tracks,
it will totally undo this,
and it will keep all of
your extracurriculars
on your academic resume.
This is a 45 second-
- f*ck.
- ...exam.
Biology, final question.
- Oh my god, I'm gonna throw up.
- [Brennan] Begin.
- Of the following creatures,
which cannot turn its prey into stone?
Basilisk, c*ck, gorgon, manticore.
- I believe it's manticore.
- Yeah, I was gonna say manticore.
- Manticore?
- I agree.
- I know that the
c*ck can. Gorgon can.
- Basilisk can, c*ck
can, gorgon can.
- Manticore. D, manticore.
- I think basilisk can, too.
- Correct!
That is correct.
- Whoa!
- Wow, and I thought it
was gonna be about docking.
- I didn't know anything about gorgons.
- I was fully ready for docking.
- I knew that because in our home game-
- Gorgon was the thing that started-
- ...the c*ck is what got-
- Travis.
- ...Travis's character.
- Yes.
- A gorgon literally did that.
I know a basilisk can.
- Wow.
- Didn't clock that the
first guy was a gorgon.
- Is the rope guy dead?
- Rope guy's dead. Riz
shot him. f*cking dead.
And you know what, a little
piece of the art department
that I am so happy to
say, I never had to use.
How about that?
- Put it on your forehead.
- I didn't really wanna throw it.
- [Brennan] Unbelievable.
- No!
- You see Gavin, still writing, goes,
"Way to go."
- Okay.
- Way to go.
- Okay, all right. Okay.
- Gavin, can we hang out after this?
- The biggest reaction we've gotten.
I wanna get a beer with this guy.
- [Siobhan] I like this guy.
- I wanna get a beer with this guy.
- I feel like he's a good teacher.
- I'm straight edge and I
wanna get a beer with this guy.
- Okay, that's you. Object interaction.
Adaine, that's the end
of your turn, correct?
- That's the end of my turn.
- Okay. Manticore still,
you're holding Concentration.
That is going to be the
wyvern. Its turn starts.
- Okay, so it's gonna take-
- It's blind.
- It's blinded. It has to
do a Wisdom save or take...
Damn, I rolled so many ones.
- I'm gonna say these saves,
its hit point total right now
is really riding the line,
so this save really matters.
Every point of damage
matters for this one.
It adds plus one, so
it needs a 16 or higher
in front of the board to save.
Five. Okay.
- It takes 16 radiant damage.
- 16 radiant.
- Its speed is halved, and if it moves,
it will take more damage
from the Booming Blade.
- Go ahead and roll for
Booming Blade right now.
- Because it was a crit, thanks
to Adaine, 19 more damage.
- With seven hit points left,
go ahead and describe for me what happens
as this wyvern tries to peel
away from you in midair.
- I think I look at it and I say,
the fighting's over.
It's all love now.
And I lean in for a kiss.
- The wyvern, confused, goes [screeches]
and dies.
- What's going on up there?
- Fig!
- I see the whole thing and I'm like-
- ...in my arms, but can I
try and get it to land on this
for bludgeoning damage?
- Yeah, I'll roll in front
of the board. You want high.
That's an 18. The wyvern-
- You kiss it and it lands.
- So I'm gonna say, the
pentacorn was about to take
a legendary action at
the end of Adaine's turn,
but instead has to use
its legendary action
to shrug off a dead wyvern's body.
- [Siobhan] Hell yes.
[Brennan whinnies in displeasure]
- The wyvern is no more.
Look, the field is
littered with your foes!
Okay, it is a goner.
Back at the top of the order, Riz,
you see the alarms start going-
- What?
- ...for the next wave,
and suddenly you see Gavin
hit something on his watch
and say, "Written portion of
the exam passed. Final wave,"
and points to the wave that
is already on the field.
[players sighing in relief]
- Oh my god!
- You answered those questions
just in the nick of time.
- Nice.
- So that is Riz Gukgak's turn.
The waves are completed.
There are no new monsters
being introduced.
- So, a little worried about
the umber hulk burrowing.
Afraid that might get up there.
Now that we've answered
all of the questions,
does Gavin dying matter?
- Gavin dying still extremely matters.
- Got it. Okay.
- Unless we k*ll each other.
- Do you guys think I
should get into a position
to stop the umber hulk if
he's gonna go after Gavin?
- Yeah, maybe just to guard
Gavin would be useful,
if you can get up there.
- Don't you still have Haste?
So you still have two actions.
- Yeah, so I can still
attack twice, essentially.
Okay, so I will do-
- Whenever he pops up.
- Yeah, so I'll do, just so
I have view of everything,
I'll use all my movement,
so 5, 10, 15, 20, 25,
and then Misty Step however far I can get,
- Cool, yeah.
- Nice.
- Cool, you're right here.
You can get basically to the ledge.
- That's what I will do,
and then I will take...
Okay, so we've got-
- Pentacorn, purple worm. Wyvern is dead.
Crab man, rust monsters,
and somewhere, an umber hulk burrowing.
- Okay, I will sh**t the...
I'll sh**t the crab?
Or should I just go purple worm?
- I can handle this!
- You good?
Doesn't look great down there.
Cool, okay, so then with Bless-
- It's bending you backwards
like a weird swing dance move.
- No, that's me. I'm much more limber now.
- Ooh, not good. Not good at all.
Really bad. Only 14.
- Who are you firing at?
- Purple worm.
- 14 does not hit.
- Cool, then I will prepare a reaction.
If I see the umber hulk
pop out, I'll take a shot.
- Attack. Take a shot, gotcha.
Cool, cool, cool. Fabian,
that is your turn.
- Okay, so I'm restrained.
- You're grappled.
There is an escape check,
but it takes an action to do.
- Okay, got it.
Could the Hangman attempt to free me?
- [Brennan] He could make a shove attack
on you or the crab man.
- Got it.
- I think you could also
attack while grappled.
- [Brennan] You can attack while grappled.
- And it's not disadvantage.
- It's not disadvantage.
- All right, I'll just attack
from within its clutches.
- Go for it.
- First attack.
- Hits.
- Great.
Second attack is a 28 to hit.
- Hell, yeah.
- So we'll roll the first one.
Burn a 1st level spell slot on Fandrangor.
- Can you Trip attack this
and get him off of you?
- I'm sadly all out. I'm tapped.
[dice rolling]
- 20 points of damage on the first attack.
- Okay.
- We'll burn a 3rd level
spell slot on the second one.
- A little sauce on it.
- Put a little sauce on it.
A little sauce on this crab.
[dice rolling]
Oh, god!
- It just went flying.
- That'll be five, eight, 13,
- Crab man looking f*cked up
as Fandrangor [grunting]
through the carapace.
End of your turn-
- Oh, I'm not done.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- Hangman's gonna try and
recharge breath weapon.
- Come on!
- Okay.
- Doesn't, but will take a
bite attack with advantage
'cause of Pack Tactics.
- Let's go.
- That's a nat-
- 20!
- Two crits.
- Two crits for two attacks?
- Two crits?
- Two crits.
- No, it was with advantage.
- [Brennan] With advantage. Okay, gotcha.
- With advantage.
- Cool, cool, cool.
- Oh my god!
- Go ahead and roll damage.
- There it is.
- You rolled two 20s?
- Two 20s.
- Oh my god.
- [Lou] But oh, I also forgot-
- Where's that roll been the whole-
- Jesus, I also forgot that
he does 2d6 fire damage,
so this is 4d6 fire damage
and 2d8 piercing damage.
- Yes!
- Wow.
- So strong.
- That's right.
- 4, 15.
- Where's Hangman been?
- 23 points of damage
as Hangman takes a quick bite.
- One, two. Oh, it's not quick.
You hear the Hangman behind you saying,
"Unhand my master,
you crawling, quivering crustacean!"
[shouts] And he bites the
f*cking head off and swallows it.
- [Emily] Save the meat!
- [Siobhan] Yes, the fire damage.
- [Ally] Yeah, with fire, right?
- [Siobhan] Once again, smells so buttery.
- [Emily] Save the meat!
- I'm hungry.
- Do you guys think the
blobs, were they butter?
Everything smells delicious.
- Unbelievable turn. Crab man is down.
- Movie theater popcorn.
- And then last thing,
I will Second Wind, so
I'll roll a d10 plus six.
- Mimic is still working on Adaine.
- Right, try to hit me, b*tch.
- Rolls a two. Mimic is
looking, frankly, tired.
Mimic is looking tired.
- Is the test over?
- Can it be?
- Can it be?
- And crab man was about to go,
but you don't get to go
if you're f*cking dead.
- What's up?
- Okay. Figueroth Faeth,
that is your turn.
- You guys want me on this pentacorn?
- Yeah, I think so.
- I think so.
- Oh, sorry, and at the
end of Fabian's turn,
the pentacorn uses a
legendary to charge Adaine,
but does not make an attack,
it just legendary moves.
- Yeah, I think I'm just
gonna have to try to hit it.
gonna try to just hit it on my own.
- Come on.
- Come on!
♪ Come on ♪
- Okay, got a plus two to the Bless.
[die rolling]
Okay, that's gonna hit!
That is 23 to hit.
- 23 hits!
- Great, we're doing another
Booming Blade, another Smite.
- Nice!
- Chop, chop, chop, chop!
- I'm just gonna roll it on here.
That is just a devastating amount of ones.
Okay, 34 damage.
- The pentacorn takes another
mighty blow. [whinnies]
- And I'm gonna have
the pegasus go after it.
- Hell, yeah.
- Horsie versus horsie.
- That's gonna be a miss.
- Ride on 'em, dude.
Ride on 'em.
- That is a miss.
End of Fig's turn, it's gonna use
its last legendary action
to take a swing at Adaine.
That is a hit.
- Shield.
- Cutting Words.
- Ooh!
- Oh wait, I'm a d10 now.
- Adaine Shielded as well.
- Oh, she Shielded.
- Okay, Shield from Adaine.
That makes your AC a 20?
- 20.
- It still hits on a 20.
- 10, minus 10. I rolled
a 10 on my Cutting Words.
- Yeah, it does not hit.
What do you say, as you Shield,
what do you say to this
pentacorn as it attacks?
- I say, the fighting's
over. It's all love now.
- The pentacorn goes-
- You heard her!
- What the f*ck? Is Fig
vegan now? What's going on?
- Honestly, I'm gonna say
that we start at a DC-
- I put my orangutan mask
on for Animal Friendship.
- I'm gonna say, the pentacorn
was created for Fig Faeth.
I will allow you, on
every legendary action,
to make a new Persuasion check.
It's gonna start at DC 30.
- Okay.
- But go ahead and give me a Persuasion
with this smooch attempt.
[die rolling]
- 26.
- 26, okay!
- So close!
- We're not there. We're not there.
- It's all love.
- It's all love.
The pentacorn, there's a seed planted,
but it's not there yet.
Gorgug, that is your turn.
You are in the maw of the purple worm.
- Ah!
I am just gonna try to shrug it off
and take three attacks
on it, Reckless style.
- Okay.
- Get nasty.
- Let's go, let's go.
- Get nasty!
- Here we go, here we go.
- Come on, time to be nasty.
Does a 21 hit?
- 21 hits.
- All right, first one
hits. Second one, crit.
- Nice!
- Good f*cking-
- Different die.
- Different die. Good god.
- You're rolling with advantage a lot.
- All right, here we go. Yes.
- Last one.
It's a 16, so I'm gonna add my Bardic.
- What about Bless?
- Oh yeah.
- [Murph] Yeah, do Bless first.
- 19?
- 19 hits.
- Okay, then I won't use this.
So that's two regular hits and one crit.
- And I've been rolling with
advantage on you every turn
'cause you're attacking Recklessly, right?
Yeah.
- Okay, two ones. That's not great.
- 48. Amazing.
- And one crit, so it
knocked him prone again.
- Jesus.
- Yes!
- Jesus, okay. How much damage is that?
- [Zac] 48.
- 48, once again knocked prone,
and move the purple worm to bloodied.
- Wow, okay.
- I'm freaking soloing this guy!
Adaine did a lot of damage, too
- Incredible. Okay, Gorgug,
that is your turn, correct?
- Yeah, does it make sense for me
to move towards y'all over here?
Or we'd rather not keep the purple worm-
- Rather the purple worm looking at you.
- Great.
- Cool.
Rust monsters are going to go.
They've attacked here.
Let me see if this one can,
jump up here.
I think they're going to
start to go after Adaine
to the degree that they can.
- Well, your Shield is still up.
- My Shield is still up,
yes, and my AC is 20.
- These guys are going to... ba ba ba,
I think the two blinded ones hang back.
- And fight the rats?
- And fight the rats.
- Hey, this is our freaking town!
- [Brennan] These ones are
gonna use double move to be-
- [Emily] Anyone who just moved into here
hit the Spirit Guardians.
- What's the range on that?
- 15.
- Oh, and you're down,
'cause you just smooched-
- [Emily] Yeah.
- Okay, so go ahead and roll damage.
- Oh, you're down,
'cause you just smooched.
- Oh my god, finally a
good one. Thank you, god!
That shows you how bad
I've been rolling. 33.
- And it's Wisdom?
- And it's a Wisdom save.
- Okay, they need 16s.
It's gonna be all four of these.
- [Siobhan] And the mimic, right?
- Okay, two of them make
it. The two nearest to-
- They still take half, though.
- Yes, okay, the two nearest to Fig
are torn apart by the rage crystals.
The last two are at half health.
each. Damn, unbelievable.
They're gonna make attacks on Adaine.
I'm gonna say, actually,
they're gonna use their Rust ability.
- Their speed is also
halved when they enter.
- Oh, yeah yeah yeah.
Go ahead and make two
Dexterity saving throws for me.
The DC is 11.
- Saving?
- Saving throws, yes.
- Well, that is a one,
but I do have Bardic.
- Okay.
- But actually, I can't
even get there with Bardic.
So I fail one.
- You also have Bless on whatever-
- Yeah, I rolled one on the Bless as well.
- Oh, gotcha.
- Throw those dice into the ocean.
And that's a nine, and I'll
use my Bardic on that one.
So the second one, I make.
- Second one, you make.
First one, you do not.
What is your arcane focus? What
do you use for spellcasting?
- The sword.
- You use your sword?
Your sword is magical, and
therefore cannot be rusted.
I'm gonna say, because
you rolled a nat one,
you see that the rust monsters leap up-
- Wait, was this Dexterity?
And you have Dodge on.
So don't you roll with advantage?
- Oh sh*t, the Dodge action
does give you advantage.
Wow.
- Nice!
- Good f*cking call.
- That's a 19.
- That's a 19, okay!
You avoid their Rusting attack.
- Hey, boys!
- Hey, boys!
- Hey, boys, huh? How about that, boys?
- Kristen, at the beginning of your turn-
- You die.
- I die!
You see Buddy. As you eat
the Eye of the Vulture King,
you look at Buddy.
Buddy goes, "Everything all right?"
Something fades into view
that unfortunately, only you can see.
You see, right behind Buddy,
aiming a crossbow up at Gavin,
[Siobhan gasps]
is Kipperlilly Copperkettle.
- Oh my god!
- She turns, makes direct
eye contact with you,
smiles,
and slits Buddy's throat.
[Siobhan gasps]
Buddy falls to the ground, dead.
You see, coming out of
Invisibility next to her,
a blue, scaly hand.
Both Kipperlilly and the blue hand vanish.
- Oisin?
- I thought he was cute!
That b*tch! I'm gonna k*ll him!
- Can I shout that to
everybody, including the guy up-
- Everyone sees Buddy die.
Everyone sees the throat
get slit, and Buddy drops.
- Whoa!
- What? Why did you k*ll him?
- [laughs] Yeah.
- Kristen, what are you doing?
- Did you cast See Invisibility
on yourself before this?
- No.
- I have See Invisibility,
but only within 10 feet.
- It's too late to follow
them wherever they went?
- It looks like both of them
were sitting on readied actions.
You can tell that the
spellcasting, especially,
was a readied action.
- But if she has Truesight on,
she would be able to
see them still, right?
- They have teleported. So,
the spell was a teleportation.
- Okay, great. Well, great.
- [Brennan] I cannot believe-
- They probably teleported right up here.
- What's the range of your Truesight?
- That I see?
- What does it say?
- 30.
- 30? Okay.
It's possible that they're invisible
farther away than you can see.
- If I run to right
here, can I try to see-
- Give me Arcana. Give me an Arcana check.
- They're playing dirty.
- That is a 17.
- You hit exactly the DC you needed
to clock a Plane Shift spell.
You believe they have left
the tournament ground.
- They were just here to
k*ll Buddy? Oh, to frame us.
- Yeah.
- To frame us.
- And to make sure that we
can't be brought back, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Is our guy up there dead?
- Oh, no, you see she was
just training the crossbow,
aiming a shot at him,
and then turned around
to see herself get made
and changed the action
based on Kristen seeing her.
- f*ck.
- Revivify Buddy.
- I can Revivify, but they would auto-fail
if someone in their party dies.
- We should Revivify.
- We should Revivify.
- Kristen, even the thought,
you go to your pocket
for where you keep your Revivify gems.
They are gone.
[Siobhan gasps]
- Oh, they pickpocketed you.
- f*ck!
- I have Spare the Dying,
so I run up and I cast that.
So it's not Death Ward,
it's Spare the Dying.
So if someone dies, they can get-
- Gotcha. For the record, Buddy
is not making death saves.
Buddy is dead. He is throat
slit, open on the ground.
Not making death saves,
not in possibility of being stabilized.
He is dead.
- What's the cost of the gem?
- The cost of the gem is,
I think, 3,000 gold pieces.
- Great.
- Can you get that out of the jacket?
- That's more than 10, right?
- More than 10.
- Great.
- They know what it takes
to Revivify somebody.
They know what they would have to do
to remove that possibility.
- We just have to finish-
- Gavin! [stammering]
Our Revivifier is dead!
- Gavin looks and goes,
"Okay. Not normal."
- Yes, two students just
appeared, slit his throat-
- He doesn't know what
you're talking about.
- ...and Plane Shifted away!
- It's below you!
- I have Truesight. I can see.
- [stammering] I can't-
- [Siobhan] We'll Zone of Truth it.
- We'll do Zone of Truth after.
- But Zone of Truth, their devil's honey
will save them from Zone of Truth.
- No, we will Zone of Truth.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- So you see something really foul
has just unfolded in this moment.
Buddy is dead. Kipperlilly
and Oisin are gone.
- Can I Divine Intervention
to try to bring Buddy back?
- I will say that we can
roll Divine Intervention
in the Box of Doom, and
that will bring Buddy back.
That is a possibility.
- I have to get a one on
the first die that I roll.
- You want a zero on the first die,
'cause you want a 13 or under.
So roll that first one. It
needs to be a zero or a one.
- I don't think it has a zero on it.
- No, it does. Double zero.
- The double zeroes.
- Isn't that 10?
- I thought double zeroes were 10.
- No, if you roll double
zero, that's the tens digit.
So it's like zero one,
zero two, zero three,
and then if you get
double zeroes and zero,
that's 100, right?
- Got it.
- [Brennan] Cool, so let's
roll first. Zero or one.
- Seven.
- Seven, okay.
You use your action to
cast Divine Intervention
and call to Cassandra, but Cassandra,
in her weakened state, cannot reach here.
That's your action. Any
bonus actions from Kristen?
- Is anyone looking f*cked up?
- I'm up.
- I'm just gonna be
next to Buddy, I guess.
- Cool, yeah, you go to Buddy's body.
As you suddenly realize
that a trap has been laid for you here
and very, very incredibly discovered
before anything happened.
With your insight, you
can tell that Kipperlilly,
I don't know if panicked
is the right word,
but seeing that they were
trying to set something up
and you happened to go right
on the wall where she was
to cast a Truesight that had nothing to do
with the test unfolding,
something truly awful was about to happen,
and you can't help but wonder
what that crossbow was loaded with.
- Can I do an Insight check?
'Cause I also have Plane Shift.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- To see where I think they may have gone.
- Go for it. Give me an Insight check.
- That's a nat one.
- Okay. Anywhere in the multiverse.
- Anywhere in the multiverse.
- I know you want to hound
this down right here.
It's a miracle you even saw what you did.
Critically important.
The ochre jellies move another 40 feet.
- Actually, can I-
- Counterspell.
- Counterspell! Counterspell!
Here come the ochre jellies.
Pentacorn is going to make its attacks.
- Okay, on its turn, Wisdom save.
- Nice.
- Big ups!
- [Siobhan] A lot of sixes and sevens.
- Fails the Wisdom save.
- Okay, that is 28 damage.
- Pentacorn is bloodied.
It is going to attack.
It's going to attack...
Adaine has the Dodge action on, correct?
So it's going to attack Fig.
- Coming after me.
- Here we go. Two hoof attacks.
Both miss. Come on, man.
You gotta do better than this.
Okay, hits with a horn attack.
You take 15 points of radiant damage.
That is its turn.
Purple worm rights itself,
having been knocked down twice in a row.
It has fully forgotten
that it's supposed to k*ll the proctor.
It will not stop until it
kills Gorgug Thistlespring.
It's rolling with
advantage on its attacks.
- They k*lled Buddy! Don't you understand?
Oh, I'm gonna say that I'm gonna use
my Hologram Displacement to make it
have to roll with disadvantage.
- Okay. If it misses, you can teleport.
- If it already has advantage-
- So it's a straight roll.
- Straight roll.
- It hits you on a two or higher.
- Okay.
Good.
- Six. Hits you.
- Great.
- That is its tail stinger.
You used your reaction to do
your Hologram Displacement.
The next thing, it's gonna
have advantage on again.
That is a critical hit.
Okay, we're gonna do
the tail stinger first.
Gorgug, you take...
[dice rolling]
- Okay.
- Halved to 11.
I'm gonna need a
Constitution saving throw.
This is for all that poison damage.
- Oh, he almost did it again.
- So close to it.
Con save? I do not make it.
- How many hit points do you have?
[dice rattle menacingly]
- After the 11 damage, I'm at 70.
- Okay.
- So this is probably not-
- Come on, Jorjudge.
- 16, 24, 34.
You take 43 poison damage.
- [Zac] Okay.
- [Brennan] And then it
crits on a bite attack.
- Oh!
- Mm-hmm.
- Did I use my Bardic?
- No, you didn't.
- Can I try the Bardic?
- For that poison?
You will also be making a saving
throw to not get swallowed.
- Okay, we'll save this
for that, just in case.
[dice rolling]
- [Brennan] 39 piercing
damage halved to 19.
- Okay.
- And now it is a Dexterity saving throw,
Box of Doom, once again.
- Okay, I roll this with advantage.
- You roll with advantage.
- Blessed, also, right?
- And then Bless.
- Roll that d4 in there first.
Three, so four.
You need a 15 or higher
on one of these dice.
[dice rolling]
That is only a 14.
- Bardic.
- But I can Bardic?
- You can Bardic.
Even a two does it. That
gets you right over the line.
- Jesus.
- Oh my god!
- Unbelievable. You are
not swallowed whole.
How many hit points are you at right now?
- I'm at 16.
- Wow. The fact that you have survived
two full concentrated turns
from this monstrosity,
you are single-handedly
holding the purple worm at bay.
Exactly what a barbarian is meant to do.
- Can I yell to the proctor
and try to make a Persuasion?
- Potentially, yes.
- We can settle Buddy after the combat.
- [Siobhan] Yeah, I don't think
there's anything we can do.
- But wouldn't the combat be over?
'Cause we've already
taken all of our tests,
and the point is, we all have
to die before he ends it,
and there's no one to bring us back.
- On your next turn, I
will allow you to make-
- Pops up. Pops up next to the proctor.
- Umber hulk pops up.
I'm not gonna lie, this thing
will get attacks on Gavin
unless you can end it-
- It's still blinded.
- Blinded ends at the
end of the turn, though.
- I thought it was one minute.
- No, it's a check at the end.
- From the mephit?
- Okay, so at the end of its last turn,
it will make a check.
It adds a plus three.
Seven or higher does it.
Three. It's still blinded.
- Okay, I got a 19 on the
first try. Try to crit.
With the advantage, I got even better.
- Go ahead and roll damage.
- Do it!
- Do it, Riz.
- Do it, Riz!
- Come on, Riz!
- We're getting low, Riz.
- Although, here's the thing that sucks.
Does Gavin count as an ally?
- Yeah.
- Oh, great.
- Gavin counts as an ally.
- We've been healing his a*s.
- Yeah, he's chill as f*ck.
- We were talking about
having a beer with him.
- Gavin does not wanna
get hit by monsters,
so in this moment, he is an ally.
- Come on!
- f*cking do it, Riz.
[dice rolling]
- Not great.
- Damn. Damn, damn, damn.
- 31.
- 30 hit points. Unbelievable.
[players cheering]
Murph, go ahead and describe for me
this scene out of a f*cking Western as,
bursting out of the stones
at the top of the tower,
this umber hulk appears.
- I think I see Buddy die.
I'm like, what the f*ck?
Okay, focus up! Focus up, Riz! [yelps]
As soon as I see the
rocks pop up, I blast him.
- You see that the umber hulk,
out of a f*cking old Western,
the umber hulk, bam, in the abdomen!
Waves its arms and falls
off the back of the tower.
- Onto the crash pad.
- Onto the crash pad!
- Which are the two butter gummies.
- Such a good stunt.
- Does it fall on the butter gummies?
- It lands on the butter gummies.
- Butter gummies!
- So good.
- Ew.
- Adaine, your turn.
- Okay, first of all,
Bigby's Hand is going to
once again attack the worm.
- Here we go.
- Smack it!
- Thank god. That's a 26 to hit.
- What a dramatic roll.
- It truly rolled for such a long time.
- 26 does it.
- And that is 20...
- Boom! This fist reins back.
You hear its spine shatter under the might
of this enormous arcane first.
- Great, and then I'm
gonna cast Erupting Earth
at a 5th level around the-
- Okay.
- I think I can hit two of
these rust guys and the-
- And the worm? Hell, yeah.
Go ahead and roll damage.
- So it's a Dexterity saving throw, DC 18.
- Hell, yeah.
- Nice.
- Okay, okay.
- Love to see double digits.
- We love to see it.
- 36 damage.
Purple worm, it's a
Dexterity saving throw?
- It is a Dexterity saving throw. 18.
- He can only do it on a crit.
He does not crit.
So he takes all that damage.
Gonna roll for the rust monsters.
They don't get it done either.
Both rust monsters, you call
to the stone, and it leaps up.
All of the blocks hover in space,
let the rust monsters fall in the cracks,
and reform, crushing them
like bugs underneath.
How much damage was that?
- 38 damage, and then
the area that it hit,
which is a 20 foot square,
is now difficult terrain.
- Unbelievable. [mimics stone
rumbling] That f*cking rules.
Okay, any bonus actions?
All your summons are gone?
- Bonus action was the fist.
- Was the fist, hell yes. Okay, amazing.
At the end of Adaine's turn,
the pentacorn is going to
attack Adaine this time,
seeing how effective.
Hits Adaine.
- Shield.
- You still have Shield.
- Even with Shield, it still hits.
You have Mirror Images,
so go ahead and roll.
- Great.
- You have two of those left.
- Oh, it's the pentacorn's turn?
- It hits me.
- Legendary.
- It hits me.
- It hits you, okay.
The pentacorn's gonna hit
you, and it's going to deal-
- Is it your first time being hit?
- It is my first time being hit.
- You're unbelievable.
- 15 damage to Adaine,
and I'm gonna need that
Concentration saving throw.
- Do you still have crab
teeth, mandible on you?
- Yeah, I've just been fighting
with the mandible on me.
- I make it.
- Hell, yeah. You make it.
- I literally just make it.
- Riz, that's you.
- Okay.
- Fabian on deck afterwards.
- Bonus action Hide.
- Cool.
- That's a 24.
I just wanna get past this
purple worm's Perception
so I can roll with advantage.
- Copy that.
Note, because of your
position on the b*ttlefield,
the worm will have cover,
so its AC will go up.
- Oh, can I move over here?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you wanna run along.
So you run sideways, strafing,
to get a better shot.
- Cool, I'll run over here, dive down,
and then pop back up
out of my hide position.
- Copy that. You will get
sneak attack because of Gorgug.
But I think you might be
firing at long range. Is it 80?
range, so you're still good.
It's just at the edge of your short range.
- Okay.
- You're good to attack.
- Great.
- 26 hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
- Okay.
- Come on, Riz.
- Come on, Riz.
- Come on, Riz!
- Come on, Riz!
- It's bloodied, Riz!
You got it!
- Come on, Riz.
- Come on, Riz.
- Come on.
- Come on.
- I'm trying, I'm trying!
[dice rolling]
Not my best work, but a lot. 35 damage.
- This thing is looking brutalized.
- [Murph] Okay.
- Covered in wounds and injuries,
just massive, rippling
bruises from this arcane fist,
huge slashes from the axe,
and this huge g*nsh*t fires
off across the coliseum.
- Okay, I will prepare a reaction
to sh**t at it when it makes an attack.
- Okay, copy that. Fabian, that is you.
- Great, I'm gonna see if the Hangman
can recharge its breath weapon.
It does.
- Yes!
- Wow.
- I'm gonna have it...
Hangman, assist Adaine!
I'm gonna have it jump
down and try and hit
the two other rust-
- Rust monsters?
- [Lou] The rust monsters and
the mimic in a 15-foot cone.
- Hell, yeah.
- Nice.
- DC 12 Dexterity saving throw.
- [Siobhan] Hi, sweet boy!
- Okay, rust monsters make it.
All three make it.
- Great.
[dice rolling]
Oh!
Six, seven, eight, 14,
- Both rust monsters, already damaged,
are destroyed in fire.
- Mimic's still standing?
- [Brennan] Mimic is
still, unbelievably...
How much? You did 18, so it takes 9?
- Yeah.
- [Ally] I have 108 hit points!
- Yeah, mimic is like, "I'm gonna get it!
You know, it's slow and
steady wins the race!"
- Tired like five rounds ago.
- Unbelievable.
- Gorgug, do you want the
purple worm? Do you want help?
- You know, I'm feeling
like I might be able
to get it this next round.
- Okay, sick.
- Cool. I guess then
I'll leave that to Gorgug
and hop down and help with the pentacorn.
- Hell, yeah. You leap down, boom.
Up on the desk. Go ahead
and make your attacks.
- First attack.
- Hits.
- Great. Second attack.
[die rolling]
Even more.
First attack.
We'll drop last 1st level
spell slot in there.
[dice rolling]
Five...
- Hell, yeah.
- And then second attack,
we'll use my one 4th level spell slot
[dice rolling]
for five,
- This thing is looking
also, like the purple worm,
on death's door as Fabian strikes.
End of Fabian's turn, it's
gonna take a swing on you.
That is a critical hit.
- [Emily] The pentacorn?
- Pentacorn, yes.
- I don't have a reaction.
- Hey, I've been crit on
a couple of times today.
- Okay, okay.
- 28.
[Lou yelping in pain]
Boom, hits you with a horn attack.
- So many horns!
- Was that its turn?
- That was a legendary action
at the end of Fabian's turn.
- Sorry to keep asking.
- No. No, you're good.
- You should.
- That was its second of
three legendary actions.
- God.
- Too many.
- Okay, Fabian, anything else from you?
- No.
- Mimic takes a swing.
- Wait, Wisdom save for the mimic.
- Oh yeah.
- Spirit Guardians.
- It rolls a natural one.
- Okay, that is 17 damage.
- This mimic is looking really hurt.
- Are you f*cking kidding me?
- Oh my god!
- Why is the mimic the strongest
thing on the b*ttlefield?
- Oh my god!
- It really had 108.
- It hits Adaine. Wait, with the Shield?
- I have Shield up.
- Yeah, it hits with the
Shield. Roll for Mirror Image.
- Mirror Image stays...
I mean, it takes out my last Mirror...
Oh wait, no, it takes out-
- The second to last.
- ...the second to last Mirror Image.
- The mimic so far is the only thing
that's been getting through
these Mirror Images.
- It's having fun. It thinks it's a game.
- Feels like a game. Incredible.
Figueroth Faeth, it is your turn.
- Okay. I'm gonna try to Green
Flame Blade the pentacorn.
- Here we go. Let's do it.
- You got this.
- Gonna do the Bless
first. Okay, I got two.
[die rolling]
That's c*ck, right? That's c*ck.
- Yeah, it's absolutely c*ck.
[die rolling]
- Okay, I'll take it.
You know what, I'm gonna use
the Help action from the guy
just in case I crit.
I don't. Okay. [clears throat]
So, that's 23 to hit.
Okay.
- 23 hits.
- I have an extra d6
from the radiant damage
that I took last time.
- Awesome.
- 2d8s from the Booming
Blade, one from my battleaxe.
Oh no, it's not Booming
Blade. It's Green Flame Blade.
I'm just gonna do this on here,
and I'm gonna do a 3rd level Smite.
- 3rd level Smite coming up.
[digital dice rolling]
- Wow, okay. 45 damage to the pentacorn.
And then the Green Flame
Blade will lick onto the mimic
for 11 plus 5,
- Well, the pentacorn had
- Wow!
- Thank god!
I think one attack
means every time I roll,
I feel sick to my stomach.
- 'Cause you're like, this is it.
- Figueroth Faeth, tell me
how this pentacorn and mimic
end their time here at the Last Stand.
- I have two hands, so a
finger to each of their lips.
The fighting's over. It's all love.
And I lean into the mimic,
and my horse leans into the pentacorn.
- So the mimic, you can see its tongue,
it just wraps its tongue around your head.
[Zac chuckling disgustedly]
- Fig?
- And the Daymare kisses the pentacorn.
The pentacorn turns into five unicorns,
who run into the sky.
The pentacorn is gone
forever, and the mimic goes,
"I've realized, I was always just a desk,"
and it becomes a desk.
- That is love.
- I keep kissing it.
- So Fig's just making out with
a standard high school desk.
- Oh, but I do a bonus action,
so I look at Gorgug and I say,
do you wanna be healed or
do you wanna be inspired?
Or are you already inspired?
- I'm pretty inspired.
- I give you a Bardic Inspiration.
- Oh.
- Unbelievable.
There are no legendary
actions from the pentacorn
at the end of Fig's turn.
Gorgug Thistlespring, that is your turn.
- Hey, buddy. It's all love.
[all laughing]
- It's all love now.
- Kiss this worm!
- It's all love now. Excuse me.
He just starts spinning around.
- That's an important part of the quote,
is that it wasn't love
before, but it's all love now.
- It just became love.
- It turns out, this moment,
this moment here, it's all love.
- It's been all love now
since, like, the third round.
- That's a nat one and a four.
So, four becomes 15,
plus one, 16,
plus a Bardic?
- Yeah.
- That's a 10?
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, that's a 10.
- So 24.
- 24 hits.
- So we got at least one hit.
- Okay.
- Second one.
[players snickering]
- That's unbelievable.
- Did he crit?
- Un-f*cking-believable.
- You're kidding me!
- [Murph] That's awesome.
That's awesome, dude.
- This is the most crits I've
ever seen in my whole life.
- He knew there was one more in there.
- And then another hit.
- Wow.
- We had to hit the
bottom of that little bag.
- Of course.
- Crit.
Okay, wow. That's crazy.
- It's like banging on a vending machine,
something's hanging on there,
and then everything falls.
- Yeah, it just goes...
[mimics machinery whirring]
- Okay!
- Oh, f*ck.
- 60 damage.
- 60 damage?
- And I knock them prone.
- You have knocked this worm
prone on every one of its turns.
- Sit down.
- Sit down!
- Gorgug, talk to me about what
happens to this purple worm.
- As I'm spinning and I'm spinning,
I kinda whiff on the first
one and accidentally kiss it.
And then the next two, just
kinda chop its head off.
- You literally see,
as the Heavy Metal Axe
shivers in your hand,
this incredible combination
of a barbarian's battleaxe
and incredible artificer metallurgy.
There is a wild moving
of mass and physics,
and the purple worm's giant neck literally
is almost strangled and pushed
in by the force of gravity
to become small enough as
it is wrung by pure force
for you to hit it at its thinnest point
and fully decapitate
this massive purple worm.
- [Zac] sh**t the head!
- Gorgug, you have laid
this purple worm low.
These-
- [Ally] The final boss.
- [Murph] Oh, the oozes!
- [Siobhan] The two oozes and
the two blind rust monsters.
- The butter gummies.
- Can we adopt them?
- Can I do a Persuasion?
Can we adopt them?
- Muster check for the butter gummies.
- After all this combatant kissing.
- When did they become butter gummies?
- Just now, and I'm standing by it.
- I've heard that term a few times,
and it's never gotten questioned.
- Well, we said, of course they're butter.
- Let me persuade the butter gummies!
- If you look at it,
that's a butter gummy.
- Honestly, at this point-
- They're blind.
- We're gonna k*ll them.
- And that's lemon.
- [Lou] But those guys, I want to adopt.
- [Murph] They're gonna run
into the Spirit Guardians.
- They run into the Spirit Guardians.
- [Emily] Oh yeah!
- Go ahead and roll damage
for the Spirit Guardians.
- Okay.
- They just swallow Gavin.
- Mm, butter gummies.
- 21.
- [squeaks and pops] They are incinerated.
They are destroyed as they
hit your Spirit Guardians
before they can attack Adaine.
Kristen Applebees, it is your turn.
You see, across all this
vast field covered in blood,
magic is rippling
everywhere, all that is left,
two ochre jellies racing for the wall.
- What did you call them?
- Two ochre jellies.
- That's not ochre.
- Butter gummies?
Are you pronouncing that weird?
- Goddammit! These monsters have names!
- I know what the color
ochre is, and that's not it.
- Okay, two butter gummies-
- Thank you.
- ...are racing across the
b*ttlefield for Gavin Pundle.
- Not on my watch.
Can I, for object interaction,
check Buddy's pockets?
Was he pickpocketed as well?
- Give me a Perception check.
You don't find gems in there.
Pulling a Beardsley.
- Don't! Leave it!
Leave it!
Perception? 17.
- You see that he had a briefcase,
or he had a small bag,
more like a messenger bag,
with a little Aguefort thing
on it for the Last Stand exam
that clearly had gem pockets in it
for the ability to Revivify.
- And they're empty?
- Empty.
- That b*tch.
- I don't know that this
totally f*ck our exam.
They might have just k*lled him
so that none of us could be Revivified if-
- I think so, too. Yeah,
they thought we would die.
Okay, well, with that knowledge,
and the team on my shoulders,
I walk up, stand on
the very front of this,
look down at the butter gummies.
- Hell, yeah.
- No, no, sorry.
I run and I jump off.
- Okay, cool.
- I get a running start.
- Great.
- 5, 10, 15, 20.
- Oh no!
- I need to be between them.
- Okay. Hell, yeah.
- You have Concentration on Banishment!
- Hell, yeah. Hell, yeah.
- Do I need to roll for
the fall, or is it okay?
- Oh, Fabian's got Feather Fall!
- You have your thing.
- Oh, I've got my pull-up bar!
- [Brennan] You've got
your pull-up bar, yep.
- I jump down.
[pull-up bar creaking]
- Do a gymnastics twirl on it.
- So, let me be clear.
You lean, hold it, click,
swing out, hanging,
and have to, click click!
[bar creaking]
Click click click click!
[bar creaking]
Click click click click!
- It looks graceful.
I know the team is on my shoulders.
So I jump out and... [screams]
- Yeah, we're all...
All right, Kristen. Yes.
- I heard something pop.
- Yeah, my shoulder
blades have both popped.
I run up to the butter gummies.
- Kristen, you need to incorporate yoga
into your workout routine.
- I run up to them. I kiss each one.
- You take-
- No, no! I'm kidding!
I'm kidding! I'm kidding!
I'm within five feet of both
of them, but not touching them,
and I cast Word of Radiance,
so they each take 3d6 damage.
- Go for it.
- Yah! That's a five.
Yah! That's a six! That's 11 already.
Yah! That's a five!
- Okay!
- 16 points of damage
to each butter gummy.
- 16 points of damage. They're
gonna roll two saving throws.
- Is it too late to adopt them?
- Wow, they fail those
saving throws. You did 16?
They each had 11 hit points left, folks.
- And they go into our pockets now, right?
- Yeah.
- Can I please grab one?
- Are they small enough
to pick up and keep?
- I'm gonna say, with
this Word of Radiance,
go ahead and roll a Persuasion check.
We'll call it DC 20 Persuasion.
- You got this.
- All right.
- [Emily] Can I do it?
- 16.
- 16, okay. Do you wanna
do a Persuasion as well?
- Yeah.
- DC 20 Persuasion.
- I've been really, really
spreading the love on this.
- Boggy gives her the Help action.
- That's a 30.
Oh wait, the Help action.
- See if you crit.
- You cast Word of Radiance. You all look.
The message of this combat
is that it's time for love.
- Now.
- It's love, now.
- It's all love.
- Not earlier.
- Now, not earlier.
- Forget what happened.
- Forget what happened.
- Before this, pro-violence.
- You see that both of the butter gummies
turn to look at each other,
look all the way up at Gavin
at the top of this enormous f*cking tower,
and they both go...
[squeaking conversationally]
[squeaking affirmatively]
They make a little thumbs-up at Gavin.
Gavin goes, "Test complete.
That's the end of the exam."
- Does anyone have Comprehend Languages?
- Oh yeah, I do.
- Did they say it's all love?
- Now?
- I burn a 7th level spell slot.
- One of them turns to you and
says... [squeaking lovingly]
- I flip over my
Divination wizard thing to languages,
so I understand everything they're saying.
- [squeaky] It's all love now.
- They say it's all love now.
- I kiss them.
- No!
- [Brennan] Okay, you
take one acid damage.
- Lemony.
- Okay, you guys. Can someone-
- I still have my Spirit Guardians.
- Good. You see Gavin stands up.
As he does, he says, "Okay,
so this is actually-"
- I record everything that's happening,
so if Kipperlilly comes
out and attacks Gavin,
I've got the Gregorian Necktie going.
- You're recording everything.
You see Gavin stands up,
pats the little spectral dog on his desk.
The two butter gummies come with you.
There is a moment, yes, horror.
Something has unfolded here.
You look at a field
littered with monsters.
Not a one of you dropped in this combat.
- [Emily] So do we need
to all k*ll each other?
- [Brennan] No, no.
- [Emily] I call Fabian!
- [Siobhan] I was gonna call Fabian!
- [Murph] No, they said
very clearly at beginning
that it just hadn't been done before.
- [Lou] Why me?
- When I checked his pockets,
can I also have checked his sternum
to see if he had that mark?
- Oh, well, you don't see
that his chest is open.
- Okay. It was just a slit?
- It was a slit throat.
So what you see is this. Buddy is dead.
Gavin stands up and says,
"So, that's never happened before."
You see a prerecorded thing happens.
Hoot, growl, hoot, growl.
- I feel really bad,
because a kid did die.
- You see that the
Agueforts sort of assemble,
and you see that an Aguefort appears
in the center of the field,
on the dais near to where
Gorgug is, and says-
- I scoot over.
- "The Last Standard Examination
was created at the dawn of time
in order that students
would be able to accept death
in the face of overwhelming odds,
that a great sacrifice must be called for.
Many students believe that they
have passed this examination
by accepting the
certainty of their demise.
That ethos, that moral,
stands in direct contradiction
to everything I believe,
and that my school stands for.
You are the first
to ever actually get what I was going for!
That when an institution or establishment
communicates that you must accept defeat,
you raise two middle
fingers to the f*cking sky
and say, 'I will never die!'
All of you have passed your current year
with an A+ in all of your classes."
- So we didn't even have to study at all.
We could've just done this.
- That's exactly right.
- Wow.
- That's exactly right, and in fact,
anyone who did work or
try hard instead of doing
something f*cked up and
ill-advised, you are stupid.
Stupid. So stupid.
- I knew it.
- [Brennan] Not what I'm about.
- Gorgug drops to his knees.
I've been an idiot.
I'm stupid.
- Unbelievable.
My wonderful,
absolutely reckless, unhinged,
violent, wild,
untameable Bad Kids.
- PhotosyntheKIDs.
- Did he know it would be us?
- Is this prerecorded?
- Yeah, exactly.
- He answered a question.
- Aren't you on vacation?
- It's probably a magic thing.
- Is that actually him?
- It has a reaction.
- Begging you to come back.
- Did we get that one? Great.
And you see that he folds up,
and all of the recordings disappear.
- He really believed in us.
- Wow.
- We got it? Okay, what's
the next team's name?
- [Zac] He knew we'd ask that question.
- Chronomancy!
Gavin gets down and says,
"Can anyone help me down?"
- Yeah, jump and I'll catch you.
- I fly up to him.
- No, no!
- I fly up to him.
- He gets on your thing.
- I am him, so put your arms around me,
and we ride sidesaddle.
- [Brennan] You ride sidesaddle together.
- They're both gonna be pulled off.
- You see Gavin actually
asks to be dropped off.
He goes over to inspect Buddy.
You see he says, "All right.
Well, there's nothing in the bylaws
about when the attendant cleric dies.
Your examination was passed flawlessly,
and I've never seen that
prerecording come up before.
So, all of you have passed.
A+, in fact, for the year, so."
- I saw someone appear
and slit his throat.
They're all in his adventuring party.
- This is a crime scene.
- And then they teleported away,
or they Plane Shifted away.
- Kipperlilly Copperkettle and Oisin.
- The wounds on him don't even
add up to any of our weapons.
- Okay. I can report this to
the superintendent's office.
I'll record all the details here.
We're not gonna disturb the body,
because this is a crime scene,
so a m*rder has occurred here.
But furthermore, I've been
observing the b*ttlefield
the entire time, and saw none
of you attack this person.
The attendant cleric
is supposed to be able
to Plane Shift us out of
here, but without that cleric,
I don't know how we get back to-
- I have Plane Shift.
- Okay, then we can leave this here.
- I think that you're in danger.
- I was just looking up, my
Death Ward lasts for 8 hours.
- He looks up. You see
he says, "Okay, hold on."
And he gets on his crystal,
punches some stuff in,
and he says, "Hopefully
I'm not in danger anymore,
'cause your scores are recorded,
so everything is recorded.
It's all been sent back to-"
- To who?
- I wasn't even saying that 'cause...
Yeah, who has it been sent to?
- Superintendent's office.
- Not Jace Stardiamond.
- Not Stardiamond?
- No, no, it's been sent to-
- Who is the superintendent?
- A woman named Tectonya Karkovnya.
- Can I do a History check?
- Yeah, yeah.
- 16.
- 18.
- I could Flash of Genius.
- You do know that's the
name of the superintendent.
- I don't know anything about her?
- You know she's a wizard. You
know she's a powerful wizard.
- I feel like we need to convince this guy
that we can escort him.
- Yeah, can we take you back
to wherever you're going?
- Yeah, absolutely. I
live in Bastion City.
So if you wanna Plane Shift me back there.
- Yeah, we can do that,
and then take the bus back.
- Yeah.
- Let's do it.
- Yeah, I think we should spend
the night guarding this guy.
- Should we bring Buddy?
'Cause I can resurrect
him if I get my diamonds.
- You see Gavin says, "Well,
if we're trying to leave this
as a crime scene to be investi-"
He says, "To be clear, something
horrifying has happened.
You've all passed your examination.
I don't have a means of
checking the veracity
of what you're saying,
so we can send agents
from the Council of Chosen
to take a statement from you,
but I don't have the authority
or ability to keep you here.
There's no food or anything here.
- You're getting him saying
all this stuff, right?
Just in case.
- Great.
So they're in Bastion City, right?
So why don't we take you
to there, and then maybe
you can be in protection
from them for a little bit?
- If you wanna Plane
Shift me to Bastion City,
we'll all head right to
the Council of Chosen.
I'll go into protective custody
if you think that's necessary,
and you can explain and give
a statement there if you wish,
but also, they can follow up with you.
You know, I will be honest.
I'm paid for my powers of observation,
observing the exam here.
I know that none of you used
an ability to attack Buddy.
That's what I was watching.
- Oh yeah, no, I fully trust
you. I'm worried for your life.
- Yeah, this girl is
just, like, so sneaky.
- Maybe I'll chill here tonight.
- I was gonna say the same thing.
We could be invisible and just
stay here and watch the body.
- Yeah, you guys do that.
- I think it would be better-
- Yeah, if it's a crime scene.
- It's a crime scene.
I can't leave any of you here.
- Okay.
- It's an upsetting
thing, because we can't...
They are going to have to consider you
potential suspects for this.
I will be telling them that
that is not what I observed.
- And Kristen's fingerprints
are now on Buddy's bag.
- Okay.
- Because she checked-
- Yeah, looked for gems.
- Looked for gems.
- ...for diamonds to resurrect him.
- I understand.
Do you have the device that you used
to be able to perceive
these invisible things?
- No, it was a rotting bird's eyeball.
- I've got another one.
- You could probably...
- Oh yeah.
- Why?
- You want me to punch you in the stomach?
- [Murph] Unnecessary. I have one.
- [Siobhan] You want me to
cast Ray of Sickness on you?
- [Murph] There's two
eyes. I have the other eye.
- [Siobhan] I'll cast
Ray of Sickness on you.
- [Murph] Kristen, stop.
- Where did you acquire these magic items?
- We met a vulture.
- The Vulture Dimension.
- The Vulture Dimension.
- There was a Vulture King.
Unclear if he was a god.
- Kind of a bunch of
other stuff over here.
I spill out a bunch of guts.
- They're magical guts.
- Okay, understood.
- Do you have something
that's kind of like Scrying?
Something that we could put here
that we can look through and
see what's happening here?
- Not that I have prepped, no.
- There's not much we can do here.
- I mean, do we have any other
kind of recording device?
Can I just leave my phone
recording his dead body?
- Yeah, if you wanna
make a Sleight of Hand
or a Stealth check and leave the phone.
- Yeah, I'm gonna do that.
- Leave the phone.
- For Stealth.
- Gorgug, give me a
tinkerer's tools check.
[dice rolling]
- That's a 22.
- Okay.
- I got a 19.
- My passive Perception is 20.
It's crazy that they were
able to pickpocket me.
- Wait, are you guys
doing a Stealth check?
What are you doing?
- I did a Sleight of Hand to-
- Her Sleight of Hand is so good.
- [Brennan] Fig and Gorgug-
- She might've had Pass Without Trace on.
- While Gavin is speaking
to Kristen and Riz,
Fig, you're able to set your
phone in between the rocks
in a hidden place, leave it recording
with a full vantage point
of Buddy's body over here.
And Gorgug, you quickly
whip up an artificer's thing
and just get Fig's phone
streaming to one of your devices
and recording secretly on a closed channel
and get a little battery
pack attached to Fig's phone
to give it a long life of
being able to just sit here.
- Cool.
- Okay.
- Okay, Buddy. We'll try to get you back.
- Gavin looks at all of you and says,
"All right, Ms. Applebees,
are you all right operating
that Plane Shift?"
- Yeah, let's do it.
- Again, I'm very sorry for
the alarming m*rder.
But I want you to know that academically,
everything that was required
of you has succeeded.
You cast Plane Shift.
You walk through woods.
Cool, chill woods, a forest
path that leads back to Spyre.
In the sky, you see a
manticore flies along.
You see the manticore looks kind of happy,
like he's questioning things
about why he's so aggressive,
why he's so mad.
- That's really beautiful.
- That's beautiful.
- I throw a butter
gummy at it for a snack.
- Did the butter gummies come with us?
- Yes, the butter gummies
are now your pets.
You have two butter gummy pets.
- Great, so next time we
do a shrimp jump, we have-
- We'll melt them!
- And they'll bounce.
♪ Butter gummies ♪
- You see the manticore flies, going,
"It's all love now!"
You arrive back in Bastion City.
You escort Gavin to the Council of Chosen.
He says, "I'm sure the Council
will follow up with all of you,"
and you see that he talks
to someone at the front desk
who gets you guys ticket fare
on the train and an escort,
get a couple of security SUVs
to drop you guys off at the train station
to get a late night
train back to Elmville.
You arrive back in Elmville
in the dead of night,
having aced the Last Stand.
And that's all for this
episode of "Dimension 20".
Tune in next week. m*rder most foul.
The Rat Grinders exposed.
Buddy Dawn has seen his final day.
Tune in next week. We'll
see you at Basrar's.
- See you at Barsar's.
- [whispering] It's all love now.
- [all whispering] It's all love now.
- I'm trying to dress for the job I have,
which is librarian,
but dressing like someone
who wants the whole world
to know that they're desperately
alone is another option.
- You know I sh*t on her, right?
- Wait, what happened?
- Stop!
- No, we're playing. You wear
the same tracksuit every day.
You know that's not right.
- Yeah.
- No!
- Two in one year. That's
embarrassing for you, huh?
- Deeply.
- Okay, Adaine! Geez!
- I gave you all fives.
- I guess the one class I taught
must have really made an impression.
- I specifically said
the one class I went to
was actually pretty chill.
- Does Fig know that Bobby
Dawn is teaching at the school?
- Oh my f*cking god.
- We are coming up on
the one year anniversary
of Lucy's death, after which point,
the power to bring her back
will be beyond almost all living mortals.
- I feel like there's something
going on with the soil.
I think all of Elmville's
possibly in danger.
- You saw other students
k*ll a student at the school?
- Yeah.
- I'll know if you still
have feelings, all right?
A well-dressed man in Bastion City
will tell me if you're lying!
[Brennan gasps]
[Brennan screams]
♪ T-T-T-Taking over, teenage rebellion ♪
♪ No more fantasizing about it ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, let's go ♪
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21x15 - The Last Stand
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.