- [Brennan] A list of the topics,
themes, and subject matter
featured in this episode has been included
in the video description.
[spooky scary music]
[spooky music continues]
[spooky music continues]
[spooky music continues]
Hello, one and all!
Welcome back to another thrilling episode
of Dimension 20: Neverafter!
I'm your humble Dungeon
Master, Brennan Lee Mulligan.
With me, as always, are
our intrepid heroes!
Say hi, intrepid heroes.
- [All] Hi, intrepid heroes!
- Last we left off,
we were in the Kingdom of Snowhold,
in the far north, in the
castle of the Snow Queen,
having met the Daughters of the Crown,
the assembled Twice or Thrice
or however many Upon a Time princesses
that had traveled here to this place
to meet and face the fairies here.
Our intrepid heroes had
just come from Toy Island,
having gathered the Princess
Mira, the Little Mermaid,
along with meeting Alba the Sea Witch,
who spoke to you of some conversation
she had had with some of her brethren.
Taking the long road all
the way up to Snowhold
and having encountered Alphonse the Mule
in the Kingdom of Marienne
and hearing about some sort of traveler
headed in sight of
something green and growing,
leaves and vines of some kind.
You made your way all the way north
and finally reunited with
Snow White, Cinderella,
and met some new princesses as well,
the Beast as well as the Princess Rapunzel
and, of course, the Princess Elody,
who Gerard finally reunited
with, and they shared-
- Medium stuff, guys.
- [Brennan] That's a
straight sideways thumb.
- [Lou] Okay, daddy.
- Yes daddy, maybe daddy.
- Maybe daddy.
- Maybe daddy!
- We were greeted in the
castle of the Snow Queen
by some strong maybe daddy energy,
as well as meeting some
of the other princesses,
including the Princess Rapunzel.
- I want to fight her.
- She's so creepy.
- You also encountered the
library of the Snow Queen
and put together the nature
of Mother Goose's book,
a true book from realms supernal
that a being of the Gander's
power had the ability to grant,
and learning that within the
nature of that true book, yes,
Mother Goose has incredible magic,
the ability to save
people, seal them away,
bring them back to a
version of their story
that they recognize, that
aligns with their destiny.
But you also learned that this true book,
if combined with the power of that ink
at the center of the
Canonade, the swirling ink
moving from the well beyond
which the visage of the Authors
could be grimly foretold,
that with that ink,
you could write anything in
this book, anything at all.
So, that is what you discovered there,
and while your friends
sort of gathered together
to piece together strange
feelings or suspicions,
finally being here, these princesses,
whose cause seemed to be a noble one.
You know, they're opposing the fairies,
who seek sort of a return
to the binding force
of destiny from before.
But the princesses
always sort of, you know,
Snow White seemed to couch her vision
in terms of freedom and
opposing the fairies.
Very quickly, even on first meeting,
Pinocchio had sort of said,
what's on the other side of the wall?
What happens if you get over the wall?
And we've discovered that in
a very tender conversation
between Snow White, Cinderella,
and Sleeping Beauty,
Snow White did not hold out any hope
that these stories could
ultimately be redeemed,
that the horror of their destiny
would track them down,
and that every version of their
story that might be happier
would still exist in
reflection and reference
to something darker,
older, and more horrible.
Sleeping Beauty promised to
consider those words carefully,
and considered them all
the way back into the room
with her friends, and we return
right on the moment of D f*cking W.
- We've got to get out.
We've just got to get...
Anyway, it was such a nice conversation
that I had with all of these-
- Incredible, and I Message everyone else.
I've just gotten the message D f*cking W.
- We're probably good forever.
We can stay here for as long as we like.
- That's so great to
hear, but you know what?
We were actually wondering
if we could go and...
- I had to go on a walk.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- It's time for us to go on a walk.
- We kind of think we just want,
because they said that they would help us.
- They said they would
help us get to the giants.
- Yeah, and we would love
to go and inspect that, too.
Should we rest here and
then go and do that,
or did we feel like we rested
enough in the caravan here?
- I don't think I've used anything.
- Yeah, I think we're pretty good to go.
- Hit that ol' trail.
- We like to travel at night.
It's just, the road is clear.
You can just turn on your
music and just cruise.
- It's classic us.
- Classic us!
- By moonlight?
- Yeah, we're night owls.
- They call us the night travelers.
- I turn into an owl.
- Are we talking to anyone?
Or are we talking to ourselves
- Oh, we have to go find-
and we're wondering if we're
being heard by the hair?
- You're talking to yourselves, but again,
if you want to just sort of blithely pass
a conversation along, you can use Message
to speak to each other.
It will be a very clunky
form of telepathy,
of having to fill everybody in on what-
- Timothy just being the
little operator, being like-
- [Ally] Yeah, exactly.
- I do think maybe I'm not with you guys
at the moment. - [Siobhan] Please hold!
- I think we should
find Gerard, maybe Mira,
and invite them on the
night walk to the north.
- Yeah, definitely kind of
just normal stuff for us. -
The night walk to the north?
- We're going to do a night walk.
- Pack a picnic basket.
- Night picnic!
- I love a night picnic.
- I have this big, pink fur now.
- Oh my gosh, I didn't even mention that.
- I know, I'm sorry.
- It's incredible!
- I came in here hot with
all of these compliments
about these fantastic princesses.
- A little loose in the shoulders.
- There's shoulder pads, but
it's also just a lot of fur.
- [Ally] Wow, well, let's find Gerard.
- I think you look awesome.
- You're nearby, though, right?
You're probably in the
next room or something?
- Yeah, I'm sitting like a frog.
- Gerard!
- [Murph] Yes? Yes?
- Gerard, that's really
good for your spine.
- Thanks so much.
- In the throne room,
Gerard, I guess, has just been
sitting sort of alone in the-
- Troubling.
- [Brennan] Troubling.
- I'll go get Gerard if
anybody wants to go get Mira.
- Concerning.
- Concerning.
- Should we go get Mira?
- Let's go.
- Yeah.
- I feel like I want to be
there for Gerard, though,
because I've been kind of rooting for him.
- Hm, yeah, definitely.
- Gerard, do you want me
to talk to your wife?
[Murph sighs]
- Let me talk to her.
- Okay.
- Okay, now that we're
with Gerard, Gerard-
- [Emily] Gerard, how did it go?
- We're going on a night walk.
- Yeah, how are you?
- Not great.
- [Siobhan] A casual stroll.
- Yes.
- There are a lot of
exquisite furs upstairs,
if you were a little chilly.
- Right, okay.
- I just want to point out the fact
that we walked into a dark room
and you're in the middle of
it, squatting down like a frog.
Are you okay?
[Murph stammering]
- Things are complicated.
- [Lou] 100%, man.
- But it's all good.
- I'll tell you,
it's DW over here as well, so.
- Right on. DW, huh?
- We're all DW over here!
- DW?
- We're having a DW kind of day.
- Okay, what kind of DW?
- DW!
- DSW, the shoe store.
- Okay, great.
- Aisles and aisles!
- Of shoes that are just the wrong color.
- Huh, five buckles. Interesting,
an interesting choice.
- Yeah!
- So do I know now?
Did you guys tell me what is going on?
- I'll have Messaged you as well.
- [Murph] Great, cool.
- I mean, all that we know is that-
- I guess I will Message to you,
I should, at the very least,
give Elody an opportunity.
- Great, and I Message back,
we want to go get Mira,
so we do have a moment of check-in time.
- [Murph] Perfect.
- [Emily] Okay.
- Okay, well, I'm jazzed.
I'm ready to go.
Do you want to tell the princesses
that we're going to go
and check out the giants?
- Check out the giants, yes I will.
- And then I'll go with you.
And then do you want to go and get Mira?
- Wait, do you maybe want to go to Mira
and cast Invisibility on her?
- That's pretty solid.
- Ooh, that's good.
- But there's hair. This is all Message.
- Oh, right, yes.
- But there's hair watching?
- This is Message! This is Message!
- Will the hair be able to detect magic?
I worry about the hair.
- Right, yeah.
We don't know what is
going on with this hair.
- I think with our current plan,
- You're right,
- nothing has been-
- Let's just play it
super loosey goosey.
- [Murph] We just want to go for a walk.
- We're just going for a walk!
- We want to invite
our new friend on a
walk, plain and simple.
- You know what, she always says,
"I love to check out giants."
- She's been raving about seeing giants.
- And she earlier got a go at riding me
in my horse stance, and I
know she was eager for more.
- She was on there for 30
seconds, ran immediately
into the caravan, and I
think it was just because-
- It was like, I'm overstimulated
by how excited I am by this.
- [Ally] This has been so fun to watch.
- This feels, you know,
buttoned up, as they say.
- It's buttoned up.
- It's buttoned up! Okay!
- [Ally] All right, well,
let's go chat with some people.
- Let's go get Mira.
- Can I open, is there any wine here?
Can I open a bottle of wine?
- I don't think you see any wine around,
but if you want to go-
- We can ask Rapunzel.
- Can I do a little search for a little-
- Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your wine!
- I want it to look like-
- A picnic basket.
- I kind of want it to look
like we didn't pop in
and here's some stuff,
and we're all leaving immediately.
I want to give-
- [Ally] I want it to seem like
- A "lived-in" room?
we're here. We're having a drink.
Oh, we might just casually
go and all leave together.
- Cool, so some of you want
to go have a meal in the kitchens.
- I want to leave some of my stuff.
Like hairpins. Not matches,
because I need them.
Hairpins, receipts on the nightstand.
- We're just kind of emptying
our pockets around the house.
- I leave a bunch of loose change.
- One earring.
- I would like to have a meal.
If we have a meal with
Elody, with a couple people,
then maybe we could take them
aside and have a little talk
while we're all still kind of here.
- Cool, awesome.
- Could I whip a little something up?
Timothy is an amazing cook.
I don't know if I've ever said this.
- Yeah.
- [Emily] Yeah, he is.
- I don't know what his husband is doing.
- Timothy puts peanut butter into meals
that you wouldn't think
it would taste good in.
- I believe it.
- Name a meal.
- For some reason, I just
exclusively went to, like,
a bunch of Thai food
that has peanuts in it.
- I'm about to blow your mind.
I take pad thai
and I put some peanuts kind of on top.
- Okay, so Tim, you go start
to try to find a kitchen.
For everybody else, if you
guys are splitting up now,
let me know what it is
you're trying to go do.
- I'm going to start looking
at this path towards the
giants. Just this route.
- There's a map in this
room of the Neverafter,
in the room that Elody
was talking to Gerard in,
if you want to start using that for a bit,
or if you want to just
literally look out and see
how the hell do we get out of this castle.
- A little bit of both, yeah.
I would just look at the map
and then maybe look outside.
Yeah, I want to make sure
we know where we're going.
- Give me a perception check.
- 21.
- Nice.
- I think that it doesn't strike you
as all that terribly
challenging to get out of here.
The things that would
strike you as alarming
on a 21 perception check are
the endless expanse of snow,
meaning there's not a
forest to disappear into.
There is a broad,
wide tundra,
and you see, of course,
there's hair in different
parts of the castle.
Tim, you go down to the kitchen and see
that a strand of hair sort of comes in
under the arch of the kitchen
and is preparing dinner.
It forks off into some more strands
that are cooking and moving pasta things,
and like decanting wine.
There's just hair moving down
here already in the kitchen.
- Is the hair making, like, a good meal?
I mean, in that way, is it poisoning us?
Is there anything scary happening?
- You don't see it doing
anything poisonous,
but you do see it
operating with a level of,
meaning that there's some
ability for it to sense things.
You don't see Rapunzel
in this room, but she's-
- So it knows where the
butter is and it can tell
which is the cinnamon
and which is the nutmeg.
- [Brennan] Yes, exactly.
- Is there a standing army here?
- So that's the thing, only
because you asked that question
in that wording, on a 21 perception,
you realize that there could
be a standing army anywhere.
- Invisible.
- Oh yeah, because of the dwarves.
- All right.
- Good thing we've been Messaging!
- Yes.
- Good lord.
- Oh yeah, those guys could just have been
with us the whole time.
- Next to us.
Ah! I hate that.
- Scary.
- So scary.
- Scary!
- Scary things.
- I think that I have been curious to,
since, and I'm not saying this out loud.
The hair doesn't hear this.
These are my thoughts.
- That's what you think!
- I've been curious,
because now that we're talking
about the ink and everything,
I'm starting to think
about, you know, Death,
and if Timothy were to write a new story,
would Death be in that story?
So I think that maybe I
will go into the library
in a way like I'm
integrating into this camp,
and just see if there's
any books about Death.
- Give me an investigation check.
- Two.
- Two.
You're looking for books.
You're in the kitchen.
I just want to know what the
other four of you are doing.
- I think I'll go-
- [Brennan] Talk to Elody.
- And talk to Elody.
- We're having a moment
where we're pretending
like we're all in on this?
- I think that's what I was kind of-
- Acting normal.
- I was trying to act normal,
and I also kind of was curious
to do that, so I was like-
- And Pib, you're investigating.
You're kind of trying to clock the exit.
- I want to see, do I remember
if they had spectral horses
and stuff that were invisible,
or was it just people walking around?
- You didn't see any spectral horses.
You've never seen the
dwarves riding anything.
I mean, the Baron of Bricks'
carriage is still here,
so the question is, does that have a speed
that would outrun whatever's here, right?
But the trick is-
- It says it has Lamborghini stats?
- Lamborghini stats?
That's got to be an
Unsleeping City holdover.
- It does, on the card,
it has Fiendish SUV
as an example of a vehicle you can summon.
- Wild.
- If we're blending in,
I'm going to go talk to Cinderella.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- Great.
And I'm going to go talk to Snow White
and tell her that we're going to leave,
but we're on board, we just
have some unfinished business.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- I might also talk
to the Beast, if we have a chance.
- Oh yes, of course, the Beast.
- We're pretending like we love it here.
- Can I Message everyone?
- Am I within range?
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- Before you guys split up, you can, yeah.
- I'm going to invite her to dinner
or whatever meal we're
having before we head out.
- Okay, great.
I think I'll just Message
everyone and just express a fear
I think I'll just Message
everyone and just express a fear
that maybe we were brought here,
and they don't want us to leave.
- Yeah, no, I'm getting that vibe.
- Especially if you had Messaged
that there might be
invisible soldiers around.
- I haven't seen any here, but I assume.
- I will say, we did see
the endless plains of snow.
- I was going to maybe talk to the Beast
and kind of be like, my friend is a cat
and I want to go to the
giant north with him,
but I'm worried about if he's
going to be able to handle it.
- So I think the best way to go
is to try the diplomacy route,
because if we run away, they
can find us really quickly.
- Yeah.
- They're much more magical than we are.
- Definitely.
- So, splitting up to
go talk to everybody.
Kitchen, scouting, Elody,
Cinderella, Snow White
again, and then Red.
Looking around, you hear a voice
behind you in the library say,
you are looking for something?
- Yeah, well, honestly I was
looking a little more about,
because, and I kind of
wolf out for a moment,
this is kind of new to me, so
I was kind of looking through
to, you know, I think when
you go through a big change,
you kind of question it during
the entire transformation,
and so I'm kind of, like, questioning it.
Or, not questioning it.
I want to understand
what I'm working towards.
- What do you feel you
are working towards?
- Well, I think, how
did you become a beast?
Or, were you always a beast?
I had a communion with a death god
that kind of turned me
into this feral form,
and I think I'm trying to understand
what death means to the living,
as someone who is sort of kind
of straddling both worlds.
- You seem to be very troubled
with questions of the cosmos
and great forces in the world.
- Do you not feel that way?
- I do not find myself troubled
much by anything these days.
- That's pretty cool. How'd
you get to that place?
Meditation? You're
going to say meditation.
Everyone says meditation.
- When you became like this,
which, I am assuming that you
were not always in this way,
for you say this is new.
- It's new.
- Was there no part of it
that filled you with a certain sense
of serenity or peace?
- I think when I wolf out,
I feel really, really brave.
So maybe it's not serenity,
but it's like the calm
of knowing that I can make it through.
- I do not know how many
more answers are important,
- I do not know how many
more answers are important,
other than the answer to fear.
If you have found something
that makes you not afraid, I do not know
that there are any other
riddles worth solving.
- Wow, so yeah, maybe I'm
just overthinking it all.
- It could be.
- Maybe it's just my
lingering human brain,
when really I could just,
like I said, wolf out.
Ride the wolf. Be the beast.
[Lou chuckling]
- How did you become like this?
- I met the Big Bad Wolf
in a trying circumstance,
and he offered me an avenue to survival
that involved
this.
- You were offered an avenue to survival?
- Yes, oh yeah, totally consensual.
- Hm.
I met a great beast once, myself,
who made an offer to me
that my father could go free
if I subjected myself
to servitude and captivity.
I accepted this offer
and watched my father go free,
escape the clutches of this monster,
and over time, that monster
fell in love with me.
He learned
softness,
empathy,
to change.
And one night, he came to me and said,
thanks to you, I have
seen so much and changed.
I did not wish to be...
I could see in his face and his voice
that there was an invitation there
to translate my captivity
into a voluntary captivity,
and all would be forgiven,
because lessons had been
learned and change had come
and love was in the air.
I made a choice for the first time, then,
and I said, I have an offer for you.
You can kneel down on this floor
and let me devour you,
or I can just do it anyway.
We all like to make offers, don't we?
- Wow.
That's...
That's, like, pretty wild stuff.
- Oui.
- So he's, like, totally dead?
- For the transformation to be successful,
it needed to be every drop of
blood and every scrap of flesh
including even the marrow of the bones.
- How long did it take you to-
- A frigging long time.
- Sounds pretty long. Wow.
Wow.
- Oui, I made, there was, you know,
I made a cassoulet with what was left.
- Okay, so you got creative.
- [Brennan] Oui.
- You were still in a
space to get creative.
- You were still in a
space to get creative?
- I really love that for you. [coughs]
- Have I said something...
You see that she sort of
towers over you and says,
have I said anything
that has made you feel-
- No, I'm sorry.
To be honest, I felt kind of bad
because I actually wanted to
talk to you about something
for my friend, and then I
talked to you about myself.
So I'm feeling a little foolish,
because I was like, I
actually have to talk
because I'm worried about my friend,
and here I was taking up their
time talking about myself.
So do you mind if I just ask
about the thing about my friend?
- Ask away.
- So, do you remember
when we were talking?
I have a friend who's a cat.
- Oui.
- Yeah.
So, he has some stuff
going on with giants,
and I really want to be there for him,
and I want to go up north with him
to try and figure out what's
going on with the giants,
because I know it's really important.
He hasn't told me
everything about his life,
but I know it's important.
But I'm feeling like here, I
can handle a lot of this stuff,
but I'm trying to figure out how I can...
How I can take him on this journey
without his little cat
body just getting too cold.
- Give me a charisma check.
- Charisma check?
But I'm sincerely asking, though.
- [Brennan] Well, it's
persuasion or it's deception.
- Oh god! Okay, well,
they're minus one either way.
- You got this.
- [Ally] You got this.
- [Murph] You're good.
- Is that a good dice?
- We're about to find out.
- [Brennan] Okay.
She looks at you and says,
I am not your keeper.
You came to this castle freely.
You may do as your wish, if
your friend wishes to depart.
- I'm sorry, no no no, I
was kind of trying to talk
as one person who can really handle stuff
to another person who looks
like you can really handle stuff
how I can help my friend,
that's all I was asking.
- How you can help him?
- Yeah, how can I help him get...
How can I escort him up to the giants
in such a cold environment?
- A blanket?
- Okay.
- Make, like, a little fire?
- Totally forgive me,
I just saw an older woman and I was like,
I'm going to come to you about,
like, questions that I have
about life, and that was a
wrong assumption on my part.
But if you could point me
in the direction of a linen closet?
- [Brennan] I think... I think I am,
I think I am helping with your question.
- No no no, you are, you are.
Just, I felt bad because you
said, I don't know, blanket.
I thought maybe you would be like,
well, sometimes when I travel
with some of the frailer
companions, you know, I-
- Who amongst my companions
strikes you as frail?
- Honestly, that's a really
good point. None of them.
None of them strike me as frail.
Yeah, that's a fair point.
Anyways, I'm sorry.
It was really nice-
[Ally laughs]
- Pivot after pivot after pivot!
- Pivot, pivot, pivot, pivot, pivot.
I'm not even facing her at this point.
I'm facing directly away.
- [Ally] Absolute wall of...
- A mirror maze of a conversation.
- Well, in any event, I guess
I'm glad that I met you,
because I feel like when you're a kid,
everyone tells you you're
supposed to be a certain way,
and then when you become
kind of part animal,
you're like, is this weird?
And then you see someone
who's there, and you're like,
actually it's not weird, it's really cool.
Does that make sense?
- She takes a step over
to you, kneels down.
Hearing you say this,
she looks into your eyes
and has these intense, slitted eyes.
She's fully monstrous.
Everyone you ever knew
who told you that they would keep you safe
as long as you behaved
were already hurting you.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, that's pretty
much what I've learned,
is that you got to keep yourself safe,
and you got to keep the
people around you safe,
because no one else is
looking out for anyone.
They're all just keeping you in line.
- When I look at myself in the mirror,
and when I look at you wolf out,
do you know what I see?
- I have an idea, but I
want to hear what you think.
- Honesty.
- Oh. That was different than my idea.
- What did you think I was going to say?
- I thought you were just
going to say strength,
but actually honesty's kind of cool.
- This? This here?
[claws unsheathing]
Claws.
This is the reality,
and all the finery in the world
is just a mask people wear on this.
- Because they're trying to hide this.
I have my own claws.
[claws unsheathing]
And pretend like this
isn't where they came from.
- Live your life without
apology, little girl.
It is never wrong to tell
the truth about what you are.
- I... [mimics bones cracking]
- She goes, whoa!
Sort of, how does that
relate to wolf stuff?
- It's just different fighting forms.
Just don't look into it.
- I don't know a lot about
fighting forms, but I don't-
- No one's trained me, I made up the term.
- God, you're so horse
shaped with none of the...
- Okay, okay. I think I kneel.
I do a little, we sniff
each other's assholes.
- Oh, great.
- What?
- We're animals!
- [Ally] I do a little...
- Just a little, you know?
Just a quick one, come on.
- Then I trot out.
- Incredible.
- Trot out?
- Oh my god.
- [Emily] Yeah, we're
being animals right now.
- We'll just go around the table.
Gerard, you go talk to Elody.
- Great.
I think knowing that we're being watched
by potentially a bunch
of different people,
I'm going to go in there
under the guise of being like,
I want to continue our
conversation, and also I want
to have written basically
out what's going on.
- Okay.
- I want to say, essentially,
I want to write a note that says,
this is what the princesses
are planning on doing.
If you knew this was going to happen,
I think we can figure out another way,
and you're welcome to join us.
And then I think I kind of awkwardly,
but not, like, no pressure.
Not like that. Not like we're getting...
You coming with us is not
us getting back together.
That's not what I'm going...
Just really long.
- How many pages is this note?
- [Ally] The handwriting
turns sloppy at the end.
- It's like four pages.
- So many scribbled out.
- Also, crossed out.
- Three drops from tears.
- At the top it says fourth draft.
- Fourth draft, final.
- Essentially just saying,
we got to kind of scoot.
You're welcome to come with us,
but this is not me trying to
win you back or something.
So I go to her room, I guess?
- [Brennan] Yeah, you
see that she's sort of...
Let me actually see where she's at.
Yeah, she's in her chambers.
- Okay, I knock. [clicks tongue]
- She opens it. Gerard, hi.
- [Murph] Do you...
I had something I wanted to give you.
Do you mind if we
continue our conversation?
- Absolutely, yes.
- Excellent.
I enter her room, and I'm
not the most perceptive,
but can I look around and see
if there's hair in here or anything?
- Give me a perception check.
- He's looking for hair.
- Come on.
- I'm not the most perceptive,
but I'm looking for hair.
- [Lou] Keep an eye out for hair!
- That's a 10.
- Cool.
You don't see any big strands of hair
moving through this space.
- Okay.
I'll just look at her and be like,
I think some of my words
may have been a little clumsy before.
I wanted to...
I thought it might be easier
if I wrote you something,
so I just wanted to give this to you.
I give her the note that's
basically like, D f*cking W.
- [Brennan] Gotcha.
- And then I explain what DW is.
- Incredible. You go ahead,
you give her the note.
- Can I do an insight check
or anything as she reads this
to see if, like, she's...
Because what I know from
Rosamund is that she was talking
to Cinderella and Snow White and stuff,
and we know Rapunzel's strange.
Can I get a read on this, if it seemed
like this was something she knew about or-
- [Brennan] She takes the letter from you
and says, thanks, Gerard.
I will be sure to read this.
- Oh, do you...
I thought it might be good if we...
I think this is a situation,
if it's cool with you,
if we, like, read stuff and then we chat.
[Emily laughing]
Not a wink.
- This is, I know, I don't, this is not...
When you wink, your eyes
are, you know, yeah.
- It's weird.
It was a weird move, and I regret it,
and if I could un-wink, I'd un-wink.
But I can't.
I just did it.
- [Brennan] She looks and
says, okay, there's...
[sighs] Gerard, I...
You know, we've talked a lot.
I think, I know you like me
to open gifts in front of you.
- [Murph] No no no, this is-
- When there's an element
of you watching and
mouthing along to the note.
- [Murph] Just this one last time,
could we do the gift giving thing
where I give you a gift and
we make a big show of it?
Just the one time?
- [Brennan] Okay, okay, okay.
- I think it would be a great
comfort in these trying times.
Looking for hair. I wink.
- You look up. Is there hair?
- She goes, okay.
- [Murph] Wait, no, don't!
Actually, in this one,
I'd like you to just read
it for yourself, I think.
Normally the old me would
have you read it out loud,
and we'd both kind of bask
in what a great guy I was.
But we all know I wasn't a great guy,
so if you could just quietly
take this in yourself,
and then we could have a
chat about it afterwards,
I think that might be the best thing.
- Okay, so you want me to sit down.
You want me to read your
letter in front of you.
You want me to read it silently.
- Please.
- Okay.
- Oh my god!
- Go ahead and give me
a persuasion check.
- Come on, Gerard!
- I have a minus one!
- We're just going to call it a DC 15.
- Gerard. Gerard.
- You can do this.
- Minus one?
- A DC 15, I have to roll a f*cking 16!
- [Lou] You can do it.
- Come on!
That's a two. I can't even
get it with my f*cking bardic.
- All right, she goes,
Gerard, okay! [sighs]
You wrote down your feelings.
You want me to read them
in the room. Just say them!
If the point is not privacy,
then why did you write them down?
Isn't this to accommodate the
complexity of all of this,
of the fact that you're dead
and I'm not from this world,
and all of this is complicated?
Say it! If you have
something to say, say it!
- The princesses are going to
try to erase their stories!
I don't know if you already know that!
If you do, I think we can figure out
another way to not do that.
I wish we had just done the letter plan,
'cause there's hair everywhere
and Rapunzel's listening to
things, and maybe you know that!
And maybe this pushed...
Maybe you've been pushed
to have to find friends
who are trying to erase their stories,
and I'm sorry that that happened,
and I wish we had done the letter plan.
[Brennan and Emily laughing]
- Give me a persuasion
and an insight.
- Okay, we'll start with persuasion.
That's a seven. Then we'll do an insight.
- Murph and I can't survive
a social interaction.
- Murph, cut her loose. Cut her loose.
I think this is it, I
think this is the moment.
- I say you grab the letter and you go.
- Do you mind if I roll both
and then decide which to do bardic for?
Kind of fun, kind of
spicy? I don't know, dude.
- I don't know, is it spicy?
- [Murph] I don't know, dude.
Is it spicy?
- We were actually just talking
about how we wanted more spicy things.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spice it up.
- f*ck! What is wrong with me?
- What is that?
- I got a f*cking four!
- Quatro.
- Which is a three!
Okay, so do I add...
Okay, I'll add to my persuasion check.
I will not be able to tell
literally anything about this,
but maybe I'll be able to-
- Big eight.
- So I've got seven.
- Come on.
- Big eight. Come on, man.
- Seven on my persuasion.
- Big eight!
- Big eight, big eight.
- Six!
- Okay, all right.
- 13.
- 13 on the persuasion.
Wildly uninsightful.
- She goes... [sighs]
Okay, so you are operating
under the belief
that the princesses
Snow White, Cinderella,
and Sleeping Beauty all want to erase-
- No, Sleeping Beauty's on our side.
Sleeping Beauty told
me that that happened.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- Everyone's going to be so
mad at me. We need to go.
- [Ally] [muffled behind
hands] We're so f*cked.
[everyone laughing]
- I didn't...
- So, okay.
- We just started
with the two people who
have minus one to charisma
[Ally and Siobhan laugh]
to go through social interactions.
- [Ally] Your social was cute, though.
And this is your wife, so
I understand, but g*dd*mn!
- It's not good. It's not good.
I think Gerard is just frog eyes
looking in all directions for
trouble and biting his fingernails.
- [Brennan] She says, okay.
There's no way that that's true.
- It is true. I'm not-
- Do you have any way to
prove that this is true?
- You can talk to Sleeping Beauty,
but I think by the time we
talk, it's going to be bad.
- Okay.
- You're gonna see how
mad they're gonna get.
They're gonna try to get us, I think.
And I'm just saying-
[Brennan and Emily laughing]
- Can we roll for sweat?
- Elody goes, Gerard?
- [Murph] Yes?
- I understand that you're very flustered.
- I'm extremely flustered.
[Cast laughs at Murph's flustered-ness]
- I understand you're very flustered.
I'm... [sighs]
I will go and I will talk-
- No, no no no, but then
they're gonna get...
If you're...
Okay, so this is all really great stuff,
because you seem kind of surprised.
I don't think I'm particularly insightful.
You seem kind of surprised
about all of this.
Or you don't believe me,
which honestly says a lot
of good things about you,
because it means that you
don't know that they're trying
to make the apocalypse
happen, so that's awesome.
- Okay, so Gerard, I've
come here with my allies.
You've told me an insane
thing, and then what's happened
is I'm not allowed to check
in with any of my allies.
I have to, I guess, follow
you and your ragtag band of-
I have to, I guess, follow
you and your ragtag band of-
- If you read the note-
- Okay, keep our names out of your mouth!
- We're ragtag in a fun way.
- Mother Goose farts in the kitchen.
[Fart noise]
Thank god it's just hair.
- If you had read the note,
if we had read the note
quietly together and
then chatted afterwards,
you would've seen the
paragraphs upon paragraphs
about how this was not trying
to, like, reignite things.
It's just, we need to get out of here!
They're probably, like, outside the door
with, like, spells ready right now!
This is, you know me! This is...
I'm nervous, and you know that.
I'm not, you know.
How about this, how about this?
We are going to say that we're leaving.
- Mm-hm.
- [Murph] Could you just
come with me and clock
what's going on in the room
before you speak to your allies
and are separated from everyone?
Because I think
if we go against them
and we're not all together,
then it's going to be worse?
- Okay, all of your allies
have the same information
and are of the same opinion
and want to, what, just flee the castle?
- It's not a fleeing situation.
We were going to...
We're going...
Pib's got some stuff with the giants,
and we're going to go deal with that.
- Okay, Pib's got some
stuff with the giants.
- [Murph] We're good friends.
I'm a good friend now.
- Okay.
- [Murph] And I didn't used to be, so.
But now? [mumbling insecurely]
- [Brennan] Why don't you...
The only thing that sort of
I see on the table right now
is maybe Sleeping Beauty talks
to me about what she heard.
- That's perfect! That's an awesome idea!
- Do you want to go get Sleeping
Beauty and bring her here,
and she can talk to me?
- Okay, but if I don't come back,
it's cause Rapunzel got me!
♪ Her hair is everywhere ♪
- [Ally] Oh no! No, no!
- I sing.
- Gerard, your marriage is over!
- Oh my god!
- Single-handedly cannoned your own ship.
- I shuffle out of the room.
- You sing "her hair is everywhere"
and shuffle on out the door,
f*cking full Michigan J. Frog.
- I do a little can can dance as I leave,
and as soon as I get outside,
I throw up!
[sound of a frog puking]
- [Ally] Oh my god.
- No!
No!
- Okay.
- No!
- Michigan J. Frog.
- Michigan Jeremy Frog. Okay, incredible.
- I go to find Sleeping Beauty.
- [Brennan] You go to
find Sleeping Beauty.
Pib. [laughs] You're investigating.
Is there anything else
that you're looking at
within the castle or
trying to investigate?
- Yeah, I think Pib is pretending
to be a dumb little cat,
just kind of looking around.
Wanders over.
Are there any stables
or anything like that?
- There are stables here, yeah.
- I just want to wander over
there and see what's going on
in these stables, if I see
any horses or anything.
- You do, you see that there seem to be
some of the Snow Queen's
belongings still here.
You see that there are like
a dozen snow white steeds
with manes of ice that appear to be-
- Jackpot.
- Big ol' jackpot, yeah.
- Okay, I think if it looks
like the Snow Queen's,
I'm a little less, like,
I think maybe Pib was
thinking about finding
where the princesses' horses were,
and maybe letting them go if
it seemed like it came to that.
But if I don't see anything like that,
I want to at least see
that we have enough for us
if we want to take these, and
then maybe let the rest go,
a plan that I'm thinking of doing.
- Go ahead and give me some
kind of sleight of hand check
to kind of set up something here of, like,
six of them saddled and ready to go,
and maybe the others, there are other ways
you could f*ck with these things.
You could either let the horses go,
you could f*ck with the remaining bridles
or riding gear that's
here, stuff like that.
- Yeah, I'll cut the bridles
on all the rest of the horses.
- Cool, awesome.
- I literally have Speak with Animals.
Why did I do a social interaction
with my minus one charisma?
- You got to sniff as*h*le.
- Yeah, you got to sniff as*h*le.
- I think it worked out.
- 15.
- [Brennan] Yeah, easy.
You go, you find just enough saddles
for you and your friends, cut
the rest, and get a couple-
- I want them to look like
they can still be ridden.
- Cool, awesome, yes yes yes.
So there's a couple
sabotaged buckles and bridles
and stuff like that,
which is dope, amazing.
So you kind of have readied
your escape as best as you can,
that if sh*t hits the fan,
and I think you also map out
some servants' quarters
entryways to the stable.
So I'll say on a 15, you have a faster way
out of the castle than you got here.
♪ Just being a little cat,
just being a little cat ♪
♪ If any dwarves can hear
me, I'm being a little cat ♪
And actually, do give
me a stealth check, too,
all things being equal.
- [Lou] Watch out for that hair, man.
- 26.
- Cool.
Pinocchio, you go to find Cinderella.
- I do.
- You see Cinderella up on the
ramparts, sort of looking out
at the tundra, turn around and go,
Master Pinocchio.
- Your Highness?
- Your Highness is accurate, I suppose,
but you can also call me Cinderella.
- Cinderella. Has anyone ever
called you Cindy, or Cinds?
- My dad used to call me Cindy.
- Well, hey, it's his,
so I'll just call you...
- Why is everyone so bad at talking?
- I just mean, I don't want to, you know,
I don't know what your relationship's like
with your father, so I don't want to-
- Well, he passed away
when I was very young,
but I miss him very...
I didn't take it as a-
- [Lou] Of course!
- You didn't know. It
didn't seem forward to me.
- All right. What are you looking at?
- Looking at this tundra.
I mean, it's nice.
A lot of places that we've
been defending for a long time,
there's been not a lot of visibility,
but everything being so frozen here
means that we can kind of
see for miles and miles, so.
- Wow, so if anyone were to, like-
- If we had approaching
armies or incoming,
we'd be able to see them
from a long way off.
- Does that work in reverse as well?
- Would they be able to see us?
- No, like, if, I mean, more-
- Can we rewind and I gave
everyone a half a Xanax?
- No, I mean like in reverse, you know?
Like if somebody were
leaving, you could watch them
for a long, like, make sure
they were okay, you know?
- Oh!
- Yeah.
- [Lou] That's good.
- That's how sight works.
Yeah, for sure, absolutely.
- Well, you know, I just
wanted to come and say hello
because, you know, one,
we're so glad to be here,
and I think it feels good
being a part of something
that feels right.
But two, I mean, you made a sound earlier,
and it hit me, we're actually...
We're kind of step-siblings, in a fun way?
You know, your stepmother
was my stepmother
for a moment,
and she's no fun.
- Go ahead and give me
just a charisma check here.
- [Lou] We're out here
making raw charisma checks.
- [Ally] Raw!
- [Siobhan] It's not a charismatic group.
- 23.
- Yes! Yes!
- There we go, there's that roll.
- [Emily] There's a different between a
barbarian and a bard.
- My stepmother?
She...
She vanished.
- Oh.
No, no, no.
She's...
She's around,
and is actually, you know,
I won't lie, it feels
strange because, you know,
I'm a small wooden boy
and you are wearing this
amazing glass armor.
I don't want you to feel
like you're missing out.
But no, she's very much alive
and well, very much out here,
very much constantly eating
and consuming people.
- Consuming people?
- Yeah, she's tearing
through stories, man.
She's going, because she...
We watched it.
She had a whole thing
where she went and talked
to the Baba Yaga, and the Baba
Yaga kind of revealed to her
the nature of her existence, and then-
- What's the nature of her existence?
- Well, you know, that she is
a story. That she's a story.
You know, the kind of thing.
You know, the multiple lives kind of thing
that we're all kind of dealing with.
- [Brennan] Right.
- And so then she got upset
about that and went and like...
I forget if she went and ate
another version of herself-
Then she started eating,
and she didn't stop.
And so now she's kind of this
big quadrupedal monster thing
that crawls between the
stories, eating everybody up.
We barely got out of there, I'll tell you.
I mean, I know I sound
cavalier about it now.
- Are you, yeah-
- Smoking a cigar.
- I was going to say, Pinocchio-
- I'll tell you! I'll tell you!
- You are also chewing bubblegum.
- [Lou] Hold on one sec.
One second.
Ooh, that's just right.
I mean, I know I'm... [laughs explosively]
I know I'm cavalier about it now, but...
[All laughing at this cigar-smoking,
gum-chewing puppet boy]
[Murph pounding the table]
[all cracking up]
I know I'm cavalier about it
now, but in the time, you know,
I'm really thankful for my
friends, especially Rosamund,
came through in a big way,
let us get out of there.
It hasn't been easy.
Even though I make it sound like it was.
I'm trying to impress you, I
won't lie. I've never met...
I mean, you're the second princess...
Third princess I met.
- You...
Sorry, you're just, you're
drinking and smoking
and chewing so much bubblegum,
and you're made of wood.
- And I'll you, it goes right through me.
I have a chute in my leg here.
- A little wooden latch opens,
I have a chute in my leg here.
- A little wooden latch opens,
and a bunch of whiskey and moss falls out.
- Yeah, I mean, I do it for fun.
I'm just chasing the feeling.
But no, I...
Yeah.
Now I'm feeling it.
Now it's crazy that I'm living in a world
where we left Slappy's
and I was just like, don't mind if I do!
- We definitely did. That
is exactly what happened.
- [Brennan] She looks at
you and says, are you...
Are you all right?
- [sighs] What a question.
I mean, I don't think so.
I think...
Straight-up.
- Cigar still burning.
- Just that much ash on it.
- [Murph] Staring at the f*cking tundra.
- Dangling from your
mouth. It's mostly ash.
- She's up here, you're down here,
just staring at the tundra.
- Yeah, I feel like it's my eyes
just barely above the railing.
Yeah, I don't think so.
I'm not doing well at all.
Truthfully, I think I've, you know,
I talked a big game about
how much I hated my story,
and now I'm the master of it.
But I now am kind of, my
relationship to my story
has changed in a lot of ways,
and I don't think I've, you know,
we've been just going and going and going,
and I don't think I've had a
moment to really sit with it.
[solemn gum chewing]
- Is the first gum
already gone or swallowed?
- I mean, it's gum made by children.
The flavor goes like that. [snaps]
- I-
- But anyway, you know,
I don't even know how we
got to talking about me.
I just wanted to come say
hi, sibling to sibling.
Step-sibling to step-sibling.
I'm thrilled to be here with you,
and maybe I'll take a walk later,
but for the most part,
we're here to hang out.
You know, take back our lives!
[Emily laughs]
[Siobhan laughs]
- Do you think...
You reclaimed your story.
How did you do that?
- They don't know about The
Lines Between, or do they?
- They've never been there, no.
- We told them that the Canonade
is at the bottom of the ocean.
- A portal to it is at
the bottom of the ocean.
- A portal, but they've never been there.
Do they know about them?
- I think you guys have mentioned
enough about The Lines Between
openly in front of them
that they know it's a place.
- And the true books and stuff.
So I'm not going down some
real dark hole by being like-
- No, you being like, "I have
my book," is not going down-
- Great, got it. I'm not f*cking Gerard.
Okay, great.
Yeah, when we were in
the space between worlds,
Yeah, when we were in
the space between worlds,
The Lines Between, there was a moment
where I had seen our stepmom,
and I severed our connection.
It was very cool.
Gerard, he threw a sword.
And I severed my connection
to our mom,
stepmom,
and in a moment of desperation,
when she was coming for us,
I just kind of threw them
up, and thanks to Pib,
they connected to my own story.
So now my strings, the marionette strings,
are connected to my own...
The book, my own book.
So at this point, I'm
able to pull and interact,
and magically, I draw power now.
Instead of from our mom, it's
from my book and my destiny.
Instead of from our mom, it's
from my book and my destiny.
- Incredible. That's
incredible, Pinocchio.
What would it be like
to see your own book?
- Oh, it's something. I've
been in everyone else's.
We jumped in between everyone's books.
- I think something you'd
be aware of too, Pinocchio,
is you guys have Cinderella's book.
- [softly] Oh. [laughs to self]
Yeah, we got a bunch of people's book.
You know, it's funny. We got yours.
[Lou puffing on a mimed cigar]
[Cast laughing at this
cigar puffing puppet]
- You know, it's funny. I
don't breathe, so I'm mostly-
- So smoke never comes in or out,
it just sits there burning in your mouth.
- [Murph] Is this the first epi-
[Lou coughing]
- Just a bunch of- a
sh*t-ton of ash comes out.
- Sorry, you have my book?
- Yeah!
Actually, that's how
we saw the Stepmother,
what our stepmom had been up to.
- So, the Stepmother...
That's how you saw the Stepmother?
You didn't see it in her book.
- Oh, she had thrashed up your book.
That was a whole part of it.
- She attacked my book?
- Mm-hm.
- Can I see my book?
- Do we have her book separately,
or is it just in my book?
- I think Pib has it.
- I think I have it.
- I think Pib has it, yeah.
- Yeah, I think that can be arranged.
- I would love to see that.
And the Stepmother, why...
She attacked...
She attacked my book. Why did she...
Okay, and she attacked my book.
Do we know where her book is?
- Well, I don't think she has a book.
- What do you mean?
- That's a good question.
Well...
Well...
Well, that seemed to be her whole thing.
She doesn't have a story, and
she can't remember her name,
and that's kind of what set her off,
because she's just a
character in your story.
- Can't remember her name? Her name is...
- Ah.
Ah!
- All right.
I would love to see my book, if I could.
Can we go find Pib?
- Oh, I think we were going
to have a little luncheon,
a little supper.
- What?
- Tim wanted to make-
- Run that back for me again, Pinocchio.
- [Lou] Tim was going to make supper.
- Yeah, you've told me that
the source of my destiny
has been shredded.
- Yes.
- That's priority.
- Okay, I'm sorry.
We'll go find Pib.
- Good.
She goes off with you to go find Pib.
- Is Cricket with me?
- Cricket's with you, yeah.
- [Lou] I'm going to have
Cricket go invisible.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- Can Cricket go invisible?
- Hey, bud! What'd you need?
That's real swell that you met a sibling.
You know, that's a nice thing.
- Yeah.
Hey, would you go find Pib
for me and send me a message
to let me know that we're on our way?
And then telepathically,
I'm going to say, and maybe,
Cinderella wants to see her book,
but I don't know if we should
show Cinderella her book,
so would you ask?
Have Pib consult, make a call on that.
- Okay, I'll go ahead
and do that right away.
Cricket takes off to go find Pib.
- You sure you don't want to eat?
- It can wait.
- Okay.
- As she's walking down
the halls with you,
you see she says, I don't
mean to be brusque, Pinocchio,
but you're just being very...
Maybe on your third piece of bubblegum,
it became clear to me that
part of how you have chosen
to move through the times of shadow
is through glibness and cavalierness.
That is not how I move through it,
so if someone tells me my
destiny's been attacked,
I do something about it right then.
- Hey, I apologize, all right?
I've had a hard time,
and I've come out the other
side differently than you.
- How did you become a
stepchild of the Stepmother?
Which of your parents...
- Well, I mean, I never really...
I was created by my father.
But I, you know,
in a moment of desperation
to protect him,
she appeared
and offered to care for him,
and that's how I...
But then, the nature of that care
hasn't been all that careful.
- She's not really good
at taking care of people.
- [Lou] Mm-mm.
- I'm sorry, Pinocchio.
She's from my story.
So if anything ever happened to my story,
it would happen to her story, too.
And she continues off
with you. Mother Goose!
- Yes.
- You're in the kitchen making dinner.
- Fartin'.
- Fartin'.
I think as you're in the kitchen,
you actually see Rapunzel
come into the kitchen
and says, Mother Goose!
Are you making dinner?
- [Ally] Well!
I think I'm going to try
to really turn it up.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- I wanted to help,
but it seems like you really
have it all taken care of.
- Well, you know, I end up
doing a lot of the menial tasks
- Well, you know, I end up
doing a lot of the menial tasks
because I have extra hands, so to speak.
- [Ally] Definitely.
- But listen, if there's
something you'd like me to prepare
or there's something you were hungry for.
- It smells incredible in here. I just-
- It's just butter and garlic.
You kind of can't go wrong.
- You can't go wrong.
- [Brennan] Can't go wrong.
- Throw a shallot in
there, some thyme, honey.
- [Brennan] Exactly!
- People carry you out of
here on their shoulders.
- Thyme honey?
- I was calling you honey.
But now that you say that, yes,
thyme and honey would be delicious!
- Oh, all right, well.
- Let's make a shortbread!
- Cool, give me a persuasion check.
- Okay.
Ah, not too good, but I feel
like she would want this. 14.
- Okay, yeah, she seems excited.
She starts helping you make stuff.
- Cool, I want to talk to her and be like,
it has been so great to meet you.
It seems like you do a lot of tasks,
like you were just saying.
You do so much. You do a
lot of little projects.
- Oh, yes. Very, very busy.
There's so much to do, and
there's not that many people
helping us, so.
- I had a question for you.
If you were doing a task, let's say.
You know, you started making something,
and something just kind of
felt like it went wrong,
are you the type to just
kind of throw it all out?
Or would you try to fix it?
- Is there something
wrong with the shortbread?
- No no no, I'm just curious
about the type of person you are.
You seem like you just
really get everything done.
- Oh, that's so sweet.
No, I think, you know-
- This shortbread, if I took some dirt
from this potted plant and I sprinkled it-
- Have you just sprinkled
dirt into the shortbread?
- And now it's kind of gross.
What do you think we should do?
- What should we do?
- I don't know.
- I don't know. Well, it's ruined.
- It is ruined. It's hard, yeah.
What would you do?
- Well, you know, there's a big difference
between when something becomes ruined
and when someone ruins it on purpose.
- That's very true.
- So when I'm doing something
and it becomes ruined,
you know, I say, hey,
life gives you lemons
and you make lemonade,
and every little cloud's
got a silver lining!
If someone ruins something,
then what I do is I go, hey there, mister!
- I'm already creaming butter
with sugar to make a new one.
I think you're completely
right on that front!
- I go, hey there, mister!
And then I make a strong assessment
of if that ruining was a mistake,
or if I think it was on purpose.
- It was on purpose.
- Yeah.
- I was trying to just
chat with you, really.
That one was on purpose.
Now, let's just say that there
are a series of bad actors
that are ruining, it's not just me, okay?
There's a fly that got in there.
- Do you want to get a real fly
and put it in the new
batter to make a point?
- Look, I'm already halfway
done with making a new batch!
We can chill it on that front, maybe.
The cookies are still being made.
A piece of hair is kind
of hitting me in the face.
It's going, it's going! It's almost done!
We're almost back to where we were!
- Well, I think for me,
I'm happy to give people
as many chances as they
need, and, you know,
there's no use crying
over spilled milk, so.
- Interesting.
- You see a bunch of milk.
Her hair spills a bunch
of milk on the ground.
- So we're both kind of doing
this creepy thing, okay.
You just spilled the milk yourself!
- Oh no! What?
I got carried away. I
wanted to prove a point.
- [Ally] I know, yeah.
I think we've both seen
"Patch Adams" too many times.
So you're saying if
something got messed up,
you're looking at it a little bit closer.
You're not just saying throw it out.
- Yes, absolutely.
- That's great. Me too.
- Well, there's a bunch
of milk on the ground.
Do you want to go get a mop?
- Yeah, I would.
- Great.
- You don't have a little piece of hair
that could grab the mop?
Seems like the hair's pretty
capable. Aren't we chatting?
I want to get to know you, girlie girl!
[Emily laughing]
I walk and I... [laughing]
I walk and I look for the
mop on my hands and knees.
I'm looking for the mop.
- Incredible, incredible. You go-
- I mentally kind of take her
off the list of people with the big plan.
- You come back into the kitchen.
- I have the mop?
- You have the mop, yeah.
- I quickly mop up and I go,
let's make some f*cking cookies, b*tch.
- Frenemies!
- You see that she goes, well, [sighs]
it's so nice to have some
company here in the kitchen.
I must admit, cooking is, you
know, a pretty lonely task.
I must admit, cooking is, you
know, a pretty lonely task.
I've spent a lot of my life alone,
so it's nice to have some friends.
- Gosh, right, yeah, wait,
what is your whole thing?
What's your story?
- A witch trapped me in a tower.
- Ugh.
Brutal. For how long?
- My whole life.
- Oh my gosh.
- And I sort of had to figure out
how I was ever going to behave
if I ever got out and got a
chance to talk to anybody.
- Oh my gosh, and what did you decide?
- I decided to be charming.
- Yeah, I'm being completely
honest, you are very charming.
- Is it working?
- Sometimes it's unnerving.
- Aw.
- I'll be honest with you.
I'm just saying, sometimes
when someone's too nice,
you're kind of like, when are you mean?
You know, everyone has
a little bit of both.
- So the note for me is less nice?
- No, no, no.
Actually, yeah, I'll
talk to you in this way.
I think the note for you is more of, like,
a relaxed state, which I
think would come through time.
Decades of time, honestly.
But a little bit more relaxed every year.
Like, the tiniest little hair.
Not like, you have to be so
relaxed, starting right now!
But each year, just
checking in with a journal
and writing about how relaxed you feel.
- Insane that you're going to roll
a better charisma check than me.
[Cast laughing at yet another
awkward social interaction]
- And if you just have
that one page every year
that you're checking in on one theme,
it's kind of fun to see your progress.
- Mm-hm.
- Yeah, that's what I would say.
How would you think,
what do I come off as?
- Lovely.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Oh, that's crazy.
- Feels like dinner's almost ready.
Do you want to go set the table?
- I could, yeah. This has been...
Long.
[players laughing]
- We got to get out of here!
- We're now at the point
where if you hadn't discovered
that they were a secret
nihilist princess cabal,
you would still have to leave
just on these interactions.
- We're zero for five.
- Every one of these
scenes is Fabian's bad day,
but everyone is doing them.
It's just one after another.
- Don't go down, Pib!
- Pib is doing great, because
all he did was talk to horses.
- Yeah, I walk and I'm messaging,
D f*cking W, D f*cking W.
DW! Ratburn!
- As you walk, you see the
Princess Rapunzel says,
Mother Goose, wait one second.
- Yeah.
- What you said hurt my feelings.
- Oh my gosh, yeah, I can see that.
- But I know it was not
from a place of ill intent,
and I think that we all have trouble
letting our guard down for people,
so if I come across as unnerving to you
or there's something I've
done that you don't like,
you have my apologies.
It's not my intention to
make you uncomfortable,
and I accept that I may
have made you uncomfortable.
- Yeah.
- But I would ask
that to the best of your ability,
to whatever degree you can
be lenient and understand
that I'm not always going
to be able to control
how unnerving I am, some
grace would be appreciated.
- Yeah, definitely. You
spent so much time alone.
I totally hear you on that.
- Friends?
- Friends.
- Aw!
- I hug her sincerely.
- She gives you a big, big hug.
- So much hair involved in this hug.
- You see she actually
does cocoon you in hair.
- There's a brief moment
where adrenaline shoots through my body.
I'm like, this is my death.
This is when it happens.
This is when it happens.
- Incredible.
You just feel sort of
hair massaging your body.
- Ew!
- The hair [slurps] comes
away, and she goes, all right!
Ding ding ding! Dinner's ready!
- Yeah, I'll go ring
the bell. I go upstairs.
I'm still messaging DW. I'm sorry.
- DW, DW.
- DW, DW!
- Broadcasting on all frequencies.
- I'm going to give you a note.
It's going to take decades.
One page a year. I cannot
imagine if someone-
- You should journal every day.
- Once a year?
- No no no, no!
- And you can chart
your longterm progress.
- You can change in the next 10 years.
- So, then we're going to go to Rosamund.
- Oh boy.
- The wildest sh*t.
- I watched all you guys
like, damn, you guys are eating sh*t!
- And then you were like, I want some!
- No, they're just crazy!
They are just hard to-
- The princesses?
- Because it's an insane
social interaction,
because you're trying to talk to someone
who you're f*cking scared of!
- Yes, yes, that you're
planning on running away from.
- [Emily] This is not a
normal social interaction.
- You don't know who knows
what. There's hair everywhere.
- You're trying to get
information from someone
without giving any information,
and also trying to be nice.
- The takeaway is, really
hard to talk to a nihilist.
There are no stakes!
- Incredible.
Rosamund, you walk up into
the Snow Queen's chambers
that Snow White has very much
gone into and taken over.
You see that there are a number of candles
that have been set up in here,
these sort of, you know, bone
white candles everywhere,
and it looks like Snow White is setting up
some kind of altar or
something in this room.
You see she looks and says, Rosamund.
- Hi. These are gorgeous.
- Nice, right?
- So nice. Is this... [sniffs]
Is this a sandalwood?
- Sandalwood, I think
some of these are cedar.
- They're amazing.
- I am going to say something,
which is that I always prefer,
in the battles that we've had,
prefer to k*ll a king over
a queen, just respect.
- I-
- Prefer to k*ll a king over a queen.
Much prefer to take over a queen's castle.
- I've done neither of those
things, but I get it, for sure.
How many kings and queens have you k*lled?
- I've k*lled the Snow Queen a few times.
- Wild.
- Lot of worlds out there.
- That must be crazy,
because then you're like,
oh, I know how to do this.
- It makes the interactions challenging.
The Snow Queen this time was like,
on my life, I will never...
And I sort of could mouth along to it,
because I'd heard it before.
- Yeah, that's tough.
- Yes, challenging.
- But, you know, you did it.
- [Brennan] We did it.
- I guess it makes you kind of blasé,
once you've done it a few times.
- You sort of start to realize
that the stakes get lower.
- You sort of start to realize
that the stakes get lower.
- [Siobhan] Got it.
- Yeah.
- So, on that,
obviously you're a lot
more worldly than my-
obviously you're a lot
more worldly than my-
- In a different connotation
of worldly, but yes.
- Many more worlds than us.
So, I think we're all very
interested in your idea,
but there are some of us who have
what can only be described
as some unfinished business.
- And you've communicated the idea
to the rest of your companions?
- Absolutely, and they
were very interested.
We're obviously going to
talk it through some more,
but in, like, a yeah,
let's make sure we're all
on the same page, but
honestly yes kind of a way.
Do you know what I mean?
- Certainly.
- Great, so we are pretty much down,
but Pib especially has some
business with the giants
that he would like to take care of.
You know, just like a bucket
list. We have a bucket list.
We want to go and get, you know,
piña coladas, that kind of thing.
Like, I've never had a piña colada.
- You've never had a piña colada?
- No, and I'm like, what
if my existence ends
and I've never had a piña colada?
- Right, no, I understand.
- So we just want to, like,
work down that little list,
if that's fine with you guys,
and we're probably going
to head out pretty soon,
because I know that you guys
are on an expedited timeline.
So we,
in conclusion,
are probably going to leave
soon, if that's okay with you,
and also if it's not okay with you.
We don't have to ask your permission,
but just to let you know,
because you're our hosts.
These candles are...
If you have any extra, I would take some.
Is that rude to ask for a
hostess gift from a host?
I don't know,
but they're not yours.
- [Emily] You started out so strong!
- Yeah, you started out so strong!
- Whee!
- [Ally] Roll for Ice Feast.
- You see she says,
Rosamund, you can have as
many candles as you like.
- That is so nice. You're so nice.
- Thank you, I think you're
so nice. I understand...
I can't believe your friends
all understood so quickly.
- Well, I mean, like I said, I mean,
they, I think, have
maybe some reservations.
But also, they see the
big picture of, like,
you know, we can get there.
We're gonna get there.
- Absolutely. Well,
here's what I would say.
So, what is the piña colada
you most wish for before...
- Well, it's not so much the piña colada
as the whole experience
around the piña colada.
It's about place and time
and the people that
you're drinking it with.
You've had a hot day on
the beach, you're sweaty.
You know, it's not just...
I can't just, like, summon a
piña colada into existence.
I've got to have the experience
of having my first piña colada.
- Understood.
- Getting caught in the rain.
[Emily laughs]
- [Brennan] Go ahead and
give me a persuasion check.
[dice rolling]
- [Siobhan] That's a big six.
- [Emily] Oh god!
- I've got a plus one, which is...
- [Emily] How?
- All right, you have
business with the giants
you wish to go take care of.
Rosamund, I'll be honest.
I am nervous.
- That's okay, you're
allowed to be nervous.
- And the reason I'm nervous
is a very simple one, which is this:
You and your compatriots have
sworn no oath of fealty to me,
nor to any of my sisters.
You walked freely into this castle,
and you will walk freely out of it.
Therefore, if you tell
me that you want to go
on an adventure with your companions
to live fully a life and an adventure
in the lands of the Neverafter,
I understand the impulse behind that.
There are parts of our w*r
that have been invigorating, certainly.
The issue, of course,
is, as I've talked about,
the vision of seven princesses,
and if you go to the north
and are squished by a
giant, we will lose our w*r.
- Sure. I'm not going to do that.
I'm very unsquishable.
Or if I do get squished,
I just bounce back up, so.
- Right, but-
- I got swallowed by a really big fish,
like, yesterday, and I'm fine.
- You understand the degree to which
getting seven princesses
together has been herding cats
and has taken a tremendous amount of time.
- For sure, for sure.
- If every princess just runs off
to go fight a big fish or
find a bunch of giants,
this whole thing kind of falls apart.
- Yeah, yeah, no, for sure.
I mean, yeah,
but you got to...
I haven't got to k*ll
the Snow Queen one time.
You see what I mean?
- And you won't have to,
because we're so close.
- Right, but you're so
close. I just want...
You know, my friends, who I love,
we just want to see the
world a little bit more.
I've never even been to the frozen north,
and I have this beautiful coat now.
I haven't even worn it out of the house.
- You hear a dinner
bell ringing down there.
- Oh, I am so hungry. Are
you hungry? I'm so hungry.
- I don't eat.
- That...
[Zac and Emily laughing]
- [Siobhan] Oh.
- Really explains how
she doesn't understand
the piña colada.
- More ice?
- Well, do you remember eating?
- [Brennan] Mm-hm.
- Didn't you like it?
- I liked a lot of things.
Eating, one of them.
Go eat, go have dinner.
We'll talk more after dinner.
- Great.
- And I understand
everything you're saying.
Let me go and talk with Cinderella,
see what she thinks, and obviously,
see what she thinks, and obviously,
if you want to go,
I'm not going to try to stop you.
But of course it's terrifying,
because as I've said,
we're so close to this victory,
and even pausing it for you to go
on sort of a recreational excursion-
- Well, I mean, we can
skip the piña colada.
It's mostly the giants thing.
The piña colada was a stretch goal.
[Emily laughs]
- We'll talk after dinner.
- We'll talk after dinner.
- Wonderful. Cool.
Pib, you are walking through the chambers,
and ping, ping, ping!
A little cricket comes up.
Hey there, Mr. Puss in Boots!
- Hi, my friend. How are you?
- [Brennan] I'm the Cricket.
- Yeah, I know. We've met before.
- Cinderella's coming and
she wants to get her book.
- Oh!
Why?
Why?
- Pinocchio said that we had the book,
you had the book, and
she's coming for you.
- Okay.
Okay.
We're about to eat dinner, right?
- About to eat dinner.
As you're hanging out here,
Gerard walks down the hallway
headed to find Sleeping Beauty.
- I f*cked up! I told them everything!
- Hey, what happened? Hey, hey, hey!
- I sang! I sang "her hair is everywhere!"
- Okay, hopefully everybody else did okay.
- Pib, I didn't get any information
and I think I made the
Beast more suspicious!
- Okay.
- I said, like, everything, man.
Like, it's not even worth
messaging stuff anymore.
- Okay.
- Like, it's just not even worth it.
Just say whatever you're thinking.
- You guys, we're having
dinner! I helped make it.
- Did you say dinner? I am so hungry!
- Rosamund! I need you to talk to my wife!
- [Siobhan] I need to eat my feelings!
- I need you to talk to my wife!
- Pinocchio, I need a cigar
and a bubblegum, STAT.
- Hey, what's up, guys?
I'm here with Cinderella.
- I'd like my book!
- Okay!
- Just to ask a question
about the castle real fast.
- [Brennan] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Pib would already
know the answer to this.
Rooms upstairs, how big the windows?
- Enormous.
- Okay. And the sheets, white?
- White sheets.
- Okay. Oh, your book!
Of course you want your book.
- Yes.
- Right, sorry.
- You heard about our books?
- We forgot about, yeah.
The books are hugely
important to people's lives.
Illuminary, just really help
you out in a lot of ways.
- I have mine and I've
barely looked at it.
It just seems like a chore.
- I left it upstairs.
You can follow us, if you want.
[tense piano music]
- Great, let's go to it.
- We're going upstairs?
Yeah, okay.
- We'll come back down for dinner.
- [Ally] Great.
- [Siobhan] For sure.
- Come on, everyone up!
- We just want to see the look
on your face when you see it.
- Great, let's go.
- All right. Well, let's
head up to our room.
I think it might be in Mira's
room. It's somewhere up there.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- [Ally] Let's go.
- Cinderella, we kind of,
like, saw stuff about your mom.
- I caught her up.
- Okay.
I'm just saying that, like, I
can't imagine what it's like
to see someone who hurt
you, but you might...
I think she was really mad
that she was made to be
the villain in your story.
- Made to be the villain in my story.
- Yeah, does that make sense?
- By the Arthurs.
- So, I mean, look,
that doesn't excuse anything
that she did or has done.
I just wanted to prepare
you, because I think
that experiencing that
will probably be a lot.
- Well, we'll see what the book says.
- Yeah, is there...
Let's see, what's a clever way
for us to just be able to chat real quick?
Is there a way?
- She begins to walk towards your room.
Are you telling the truth?
You left your stuff?
- I have it on me.
- [Brennan] You have
it on you. Okay, cool.
- I'm just saying, I want to go upstairs.
- Cool, you head upstairs.
She marches right towards your room.
- Can I Message everyone?
Hands up while we're walking
if you think she deserves
to just have her own book,
or if we think that it's bad.
- I think she can have her
own book. It doesn't give her-
- I was just going to try something.
- Okay, cool, cool.
We'll follow your lead.
- [Murph] MW!
- I'm going to go tell
Mira it's dinnertime.
- I'm going to really quietly
cast Longstrider on myself.
- I'm going, I'm like,
it's somewhere around here.
- Did you just have a growth spurt?
- Yeah, I did.
- I want to, as we're looking around,
everybody just help me out for a second.
- [Lou] Yeah, you got it, man.
- I'm going to try to sort of stealth
briefly in this room for a second.
- [Brennan] Okay, give
me a stealth check, yeah.
- Not under these pillows!
- That is a 28.
- Okay, so you just vanish?
- I'm just trying to sneak up behind her.
- Cool, Cinderella's in the room
as you're looking for
the book, and she's like,
where would it have
been in your belongings?
- We unpacked everything,
and I don't remember.
- You sneak up behind her.
- I want to open the book and
just put her into the book.
- Okay, you open the book.
I am going to roll a very important roll.
- Okay.
- Give me odds or evens.
[Tense music plays]
- We're about to k*ll this woman.
- Feeling a little odd.
- I think this group is odd.
- A little odd!
- Yeah!
- A little odd.
- It's a little odd.
- One!
[players cheering]
Cool.
- That's exactly the day it has been.
- That we'd cheer for a nat one.
- Cheer for a nat one. Incredible.
Okay, you open the book.
You dive, get the book out,
go to put her inside of the book,
and as you go to do
that, she's going to...
Because this is, like,
Mother Goose, I think,
has only ever put people
into his book sort of with
their permission, right?
So she's going to make a saving throw
in order to avoid being put into this,
put into this tome.
- [whisper] We are going
to k*ll this woman.
- What are you saying, Lou?
- Nothing. Hey, roll the saving throw.
- You're on a show.
- Roll the saving throw.
- You guys can't whisper.
- What'd you say?
- They can have their little secrets.
- They'll have it subtitled, you know?
- What'd you say?
- I've just been quietly whispering
as every turn goes worse and worse
that we are going to k*ll this woman.
- Hell yeah, okay.
- [whisper] We are going
to k*ll this woman.
- [whisper] We are going
to have to k*ll this woman.
- Hopefully odds or evens
was if she notices what Pib is doing.
- I think so, too. And, like, you know.
- So even if she saves,
hopefully she won't notice what happened.
- Yeah, she'll just get
kind of hit with a book.
I found it! Oops!
- Here it is.
- I was just trying to give it to you.
- Ow!
- My bad, dude.
- I found it!
- [Lou] Oh sh*t.
- What the f*ck?
- Oh sh*t, oh sh*t.
- What? What? What?
- You should read this book.
- Hey, what's up? I have your book.
- Give me, like, a kind
of good one in the head.
Oh!
- Sorry, I was recommending you this book.
- I was going to recommend
this book. It was really good.
- This just feels so
much like you, you know?
It's just like you.
- She has the Indomitable ability,
which allows her to reroll
saving throws if she fails.
On a seven or higher, she's going to beat
the DC of this effect,
so she's going to roll.
She has to roll a six or under twice
in order to actually fail this.
She'll use her Indomitable
ability to resist it, okay?
[Tense music with strange whisperings]
[dice rolls]
Three.
- Okay, all right.
- She's going to use it.
Six or under and it works.
[Tense music with strange
whisperings intensifies]
[dice rolls]
- [Emily] Okay, okay, okay.
- Incredibly close.
Everybody roll initiative.
- f*ck!
- Great, let's go.
[several dice roll]
- This sucks.
- This sucks.
- Sorry, I was-
- 12.
- [Siobhan] No, no, no.
- No, hey, it's better than,
I was going to try to get her
to eat pad thai and dirty shortbread.
- Great, okay.
- Oh my god.
- Who here rolled above a 20?
- Nine... Oh.
- Okay, who here rolled above a 15?
- 19.
- [Brennan] 19.
- 19 as well.
- 17.
- 19, 19, 17. Okay.
- I have a plus one.
- I have zero.
- What did Pib get?
- Eight.
- [Brennan] Five is Mother
Goose. What did Ylfa get?
- 12.
- Pinocchio, you only
have a plus one, right?
- To dex?
- [Brennan] To dex.
- Yes.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- Oh man, did you tie us?
- She tied you. You're on 19.
- Yikes!
- [Lou] Fun, fun, fun.
- Okay, I'm going to need
an athletics check from Pib.
You're trying to beat an 11.
- [Emily] Okay!
- I have a negative one.
[players groaning]
- [Ally] You rolled an 11?
- Cinderella whips around, just
yard sails the f*cking book
out of your hand, bam,
grabs it, goes invisible.
- Counterspell.
- Counterspell? Go for it.
- Yes, yes!
- Hell yeah.
You Counterspell. No roll
necessary, it's a 2nd-level spell.
She runs and jumps out the window
and takes the falling damage.
- Okay.
- Oh my god.
- Let's just let her have the book.
- Let her have it.
- Let's just let her have it.
- Well, yeah!
- She didn't take the book.
- No, no, she went bam, grabbed it, and-
- She's got the book.
Let's let her have the book.
- It's her book.
- Maybe this is now when we make our exit.
- This was my original plan.
I'll just say it right now.
- [Ally] Okay, yeah.
- I don't know if you still have communed
with that little tiny
spider to have Spider Climb,
but I was hoping we could
take these white sheets,
go down outside, put them on,
get on those horses and ride,
and be completely white in the distance.
- [Ally] Okay.
[Murph groans]
- But Elody doesn't believe me
and Rosamund needs to talk to my wife!
- Can you Message Elody?
- No, you can't. You
don't have line of sight.
[Murph groaning]
- Do we know where Mira is?
- I'm going to introduce something
into this conversation right now.
You hear the thunk of Cinderella,
and you hear Cinderella just tank
something like 8d6 falling damage and go,
to arms, to arms!
- Okay.
- Right, so we've got to skedaddle.
- [Lou] Time to go.
- Okay, what does everyone need to do?
How do we get out of here?
I think we just got to run.
I don't know how we're going to get
through this frozen desert.
- I think we can try to go
for those horses, right?
I mean, I don't know.
Does anybody else have
any other ideas? Cause-
- The other idea would
be hiding in this house.
- No, let's go. Let's go get the horses.
- Do you have Spider Climb?
- Yeah, I do, I do. It's
part of the book, I think.
- Okay, can you cast it
at a high enough level
for several of us to be able to climb
on the outside and just run?
- Can I grab one person and then take
the falling damage for
us, and then turn into-
- I have Feather Fall.
- Oh, that stops it all.
- That's much better, yeah.
We can just jump out the window.
- Let's jump out the window.
- I'm going to go tell
Elody what's going on.
- Up to five falling
creatures within range.
It's a reaction, so five of
you just have to jump out.
- I got to go quick. I'll
meet you guys outside.
- Okay, I'm going to go with
Gerard to keep him safe.
- Oh my god, all right.
- I'll go with Gerard as well,
because if she's only going
to listen to me, then-
- Way too many people-
- Just me and Rosamund will go.
Me and Rosamund will go, because
she'll listen to Rosamund.
- Okay, all right, let's
Feather Fall the rest of us
and go for the horses
and try to double back.
- Get the horses ready.
- [Zac] We'll meet you out front.
- We'll get out as quickly as possible.
- Are you sure you don't need some
backup from me? - Don't have time.
- Great! I grab a sheet
and I'm going to jump.
- Who's jumping out the window?
- I'm jumping with Mother
Goose's Feather Fall.
- Okay, who is jumping
with Feather Fall? Us four?
- [Lou] Yes.
- Okay, before we do...
Yeah, let's just do it. We jump out.
- That makes sense, they're the royals.
They know how to talk
to princesses better.
- Okay, who's going out the
window? Mother Goose, Pinocchio-
- Really quick, are we
going to have to try
to break back in here to save our friends?
What happens when we're out there waiting
and they don't come?
- That's why I was thinking
I should go in there, because I can-
- Cinderella's out there and stuff.
There's people out, I don't know.
- We're Feather Falling
towards Cinderella,
who just mustered an army of dwarves?
- We're going for the
horses. That's the only-
- Can you take us to the window
that's closest to the horses
and we can try to jump out that way
instead of right after her?
- I mean, I assume, I don't
know how big this place is,
but I would be up to whatever
is the closest window
towards the horses.
- Okay, so you take off
to find a closer window to the stables.
You already rolled that high
You know the fastest way there.
I will actually say, Pib,
you know the fastest way
to the stables, right,
including getting to a window
and dropping out of it.
So that was an earlier roll you made.
Pib, Mother Goose,
Pinocchio, and anyone else?
- [Emily] Ylfa.
- And Ylfa all go.
You head for the stables.
Rosamund and Gerard,
you head deeper into the
castle to find Elody.
- Yep!
- Yep.
- I should've gone with them.
- I need you to give me,
this is a pure luck roll.
- That's you. That's not me.
- [whisper] f*ck.
- I'm going to tell you right now,
to get to Elody unscathed...
So, you're committing to this?
- Yeah.
- Okay, to get to Elody unscathed
without encountering Rapunzel's hair,
any of Snow White's
dwarves, any of anything,
you will need an 18, 19, or 20 on the die,
and in fact this is going
to be a Box of Doom roll.
- I believe! I believe in Siobhan!
- I know it, Siobhan,
in my heart of hearts.
♪ Yes, I like piña coladas ♪
- [Brennan] That's a three.
- Sick.
- Throw it away.
- God, my song just echoed
in the air after that.
- It really did!
It's like saying something
really fun and high energy,
and something really bad happens,
and then the silence after
does just kind of hold
that fun thing in contrast.
- I've never hated my own voice more.
♪ If you like piña coladas ♪
- [Ally] That's a three.
- That's a three.
- I'm going to need
just Gerard and Rosamund
to roll initiative.
- 19.
- [Murph] Please!
- Okay.
Are you making any attempt at stealth?
- No, we're just booking it.
- Just booking it, okay.
Rosamund, on your turn, you
may give me a perception check.
DC 20 perception check.
- No.
- After your turn,
you come out of the surprised condition
at the end of your turn
as a group of dwarven armored warriors
emerge from the walls and attack you.
- f*ck. [indistinct]
[Emily laughs]
- Okay.
- Thoughts and prayers.
- So many thoughts.
- So many prayers.
- Remember when we were
celebrating that nat one?
- It was an odd day.
- At least we called that shot.
- Oh no, too many dice.
- It's like when you hit
a big homer in the 4th inning
and you're like, holy sh*t!
It's going to be our day!
And here we are in the 8th,
just getting f*cking walloped.
- Rosamund, you take 13, 19...
You take 22 points of damage.
I need a constitution saving throw.
- Dirty 20.
- You succeed. Your hit
point max is not reduced.
- Sorry, did you say 22 or 32?
- 22.
- 22, great.
- You then take 18 plus 3.
You take another 21 points of damage.
Give me another constitution saving throw.
- 12.
- Okay, your hit point
max is reduced by 21
and I'm going to also need
two charisma saving throws.
- That's a six and a nine.
- [Ally] Sick.
- Goddammit!
- Do either of those hits
take away half of your
remaining hit points?
- The first one, wait-
- [Brennan] The second one does, I think.
- The second one does, yeah.
- Give me a constitution saving throw.
- No.
- You take a level of exhaustion.
- Oh my god, we got to
get Rosamund out of there.
- Gerard, you are hit twice as well.
You take 15 damage from the first.
- Yep, yep, yep.
- [Brennan] Does that second one
take away half your hit points?
- Sure as hell does.
- [Brennan] Give me a
constitution saving throw.
- Nat 20.
- Hey!
- You succeed.
Go ahead and give me two
charisma saving throws.
- Nat 20 doesn't negate it?
- 18.
Six.
- Yay!
- [Lou] There it is.
- You are in a hallway surrounded
by eight spectral dwarves
that emerge and start attacking you.
One of them calls out, Your
Highness! We have found them!
And that is going to be Gerard's turn.
[Murph sighs]
- [Siobhan] We've just got to go.
- You've got to get out of here.
- Yeah, I know.
- Wait, don't I go before he does?
- You do go, but they were
hiding in the walls in ambush,
which is why you had that
perception check on your turn.
- All right, are there any windows nearby?
- Presumably, you're in a hallway.
Could probably bust
into one of these doors and find a window.
- All right, in that case...
- It's not us! It's the cat!
We're on your side! That's why
we're running away from them!
It's the cat, I tell you!
- It's that little rascal!
- It's that little rascally cat!
- I'm going to attack just to make sure
we don't take opportunity attacks,
I'm gonna do maneuvering attacks.
- Cool, cool, great.
- Or, I guess, can I...
I mean, can I just grab
Rosamund and bring her with me?
- You could try to grab Rosamund
and bring her with you, yeah.
- [Murph] Would that get
opportunity attacks on her?
- On just you, no.
- Okay, okay.
Well, I'm already pretty
hurt, but I can Second Wind,
so first things first,
bonus action Second Wind.
- Cool.
- I mean,
we just parted and started running.
Echoey hallway, is there a chance
while we're running, we hear them?
- [Emily] Yeah, I was going to
say, do we hear this at all?
- No, no no no.
- [Emily] Okay.
- [Murph] We went separate ways, yeah.
Okay, I actually rolled
good on my thing, so I got-
- [Siobhan] If you can get us to a window,
I think I can get us out.
- Great.
- Down safely.
- Okay.
I got some decent HP now.
In that case, I will grab Rosamund,
disengage, use my movement
towards the door, towards a door,
action surge to break through
and try to break through a window.
- Okay, you grab Rosamund.
You said you are disengaging
or are not disengaging?
- Going to disengage.
- Cool, and then-
- Full movement, then
action surge to dash.
- Hell yeah, I will say, so in this case
it's going to be two
athletics checks in a row
because you're using
your object interaction
to grab Rosamund, so you don't have
a hand free to open the door.
It's going to be a DC 10 athletics
to bust through the door.
- And I should be good at that.
- You should be good at that.
- And you are good at that!
- Don't you still have a
bardic? No, you used it.
- No, I used it on,
like, a persuasion check.
What do I got to beat?
- 10.
- 10? Okay, just got to get a two.
Okay, that's great. 22.
- You bust the door
down with your shoulder.
You got Rosamund.
There is a window at the end
that can take you down to the courtyard.
- Cool, jump through the window.
- Jump through the window.
Going to take falling damage?
- I guess.
- It'll take us more than
six seconds to fall, right?
If you wait to jump, I can do
stuff on my turn that will-
- Yes, I will allow you to time it.
- Okay, so I'll time it so
I'm going towards the window.
- You go through the window.
You're just going to take a nominal-
- Great.
- You take four points of piercing damage
going through the window, and Rosamund.
- How high up are we,
and what's on the other
side of this window?
- You are on the same
floor that you started,
so you're about 80 feet up.
- Okay, but there's stuff
on the ground below us?
- Mm-hm.
- So let me see if you'll allow this.
I would love to cast
Create or Destroy Water
at a second level to create,
because it's so cold outside
the water will freeze instantly,
to create a slide for us to go down.
- Hell yeah.
- Ice slide?
- You know what's funny, Siobhan?
I also stocked that spell,
for this very reason.
- Amazing.
- Cool, give me a nature check,
and I'll say that if you get
DC 10, you'll remove 1d6.
Every five above that
is another d6 removed
from the falling damage.
- Great.
That is a 16.
- Okay, 2d6 removed.
So that's 6d6 falling damage.
- Can I, so I do have a jump ability.
Is there anything I can do?
Can I do any kind of athletics check?
- We'll do the exact same metric.
Give me an athletics check.
- All right, try to really
do a nice froggy jump.
- That is going to be 1, 2, 3d6 removed.
So each of you are going
to take 3d6 falling damage.
- I can live with that.
- Okay, that is going to be
- Okay, I am out. There's
a Goodberry in my pocket.
- Great.
- Boom!
- Ah! Goodberry.
[Rosamund choking]
- Cool, you guys, falling
out the other window,
grab the horses.
- Got to get some better armor, man.
I've got to get some better
armor. Keep on going down!
- I'll go into a rage,
also, since we're jumping.
- I think we'll just try to do a loop back
to see if we can see where
they were, and then get out.
- As you do the loop back,
you catch Gerard and Rosamund.
Give me one more luck check.
Just got to beat an
eight, eight or higher.
- Nine.
- [Siobhan] Thank god!
- Cool, six snow white horses
blaze out of the courtyard.
- Cool, six snow white horses
blaze out of the courtyard.
You see, as you are going,
a strand of hair snaking
along the ramparts
that begins to crank the portcullis down.
As the points come down, you, whoom!
Ride out, kicking up snow
behind you, take off.
- We all have sheets over us.
- [Brennan] From deep-
- I'm getting all of my birds
to kick up the snow around us
so we're even more invisible.
- From deep within the castle, you hear...
[Brennan roaring bestially]
A massive roar.
- What is that?
- The Beast.
- [Brennan] La Bête.
And does anyone give a parting
glance back to the castle,
or are you just f*cking-
- Can we see anyone as we leave?
- Anyone that wants to,
give me a perception check.
- Oh yeah, super good.
- Nat 20.
- [Ally] 27.
- God damn, Gerard.
- 22.
- Okay, on a nat 20, the
portcullis puts a wall
up behind you, so you are
at the edge of the city
by the time you get away.
You are riding off to the north
to get away from here as fast as you can.
You look behind you,
and Gerard, on a nat 20,
you see a weeping Elody
standing on the ramparts,
looking at you ride off into the distance
as Snow White puts a hand on her shoulder
and Cinderella flanks
her to the other side
with her book under her hand.
On a 27, you look back around,
and you see La Bête.
You see the Beast emerge [snorts]
and just look down at the tracks
you're leaving in the snow.
[Brennan snorts]
And not even bother giving chase.
And on a 22, Pib, I
think as you look back,
you feel the chill kick up in the air,
and for all of you, especially
Gerard with that nat 20,
I think all of you look
and see the princesses
beholding you escape from this place,
and there is a chill wind that blows
as night begins to descend.
They do not seem
bothered by your exit from this place.
- As we're leaving, can I
Message if I see the hair?
Can I Message Rapunzel by seeing her hair?
- Sure, give her a message.
- I think I'm just like,
we're leaving in a rush.
Our social graces really
backfired on us this time,
Our social graces really
backfired on us this time,
but another world is possible,
and we have a different
option for moving forward.
It was great to meet you.
- You get the response back,
I'm going to choke the life out of you,
you simpering old fool.
[Emily laughs]
- Okay.
- Tell them to enjoy the dinner.
- I put dirt in three of the dishes.
- Was she even mad? Why would she be mad?
She wasn't in on their, like, main plan.
- Yes, she was.
- She is the main plan.
- You think so?
- She's the main plan, yeah.
- I think she is the main plan.
- Wow, crazy.
- She'd be the main plan.
- I just want everyone at home to know
that we haven't seen the
art of these princesses yet,
so you're sitting there falling in love
with how cute and pretty they look.
We're not seeing that!
- You're at home falling in love
with the woman dangling from her own hair
in a big spider-like
setup with her own braids,
and we're going to hit her.
- We had to make a call!
- We're going to hit her!
- Based on the fact
that they're nihilists!
- [Ally] We're going to hit her!
- [Siobhan] Just dangling.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Do we see Mira
at all while leaving?
- You do not see Mira at
all while you are leaving.
- We saw them setting up a sacrifice.
Can we do a roll to see if we
knew what was going on there?
- We don't know if it was a sacrifice.
- Might've just been
some necromancer sh*t.
Y'all ride to the north.
- Can we take a short rest,
or maybe even a long one?
- [Ally And Siobhan] Yeah
- We got so hurt, and my wife just saw me,
it looks like I was running
away from the castle again,
which is, like, classic me stuff.
- Sorry about the book thing, guys.
I thought it would just-
- No.
- No, Pib.
- It's okay. I have to be honest.
It was a really weird situation,
because these were, like,
these really high status
people, and it felt hard
to disagree with them, and
really confusing to navigate.
- Wait, before we do anything,
I want to just make sure,
I'm going to cast Faerie
Fire just to make sure
that there are no invisible dwarves
who grabbed onto a horse or something.
- Gotcha. You don't
see anything out there.
Night is falling in
the tundra of Snowhold,
and you can feel your-
- I take out my matchbook and get ready
to control some flames.
- Thank you, Red.
- Wait, but then they
would see us so perfectly.
- I blow out my match.
- The look I was getting was,
the winter is going to
eat them, so who cares?
I don't even know that
they're going to follow us.
Maybe they will.
- Can I do a survival check
to build us some kind of a shelter?
- Give me a survival check.
- And I'll give you the help action.
- Can I do a survival check as well?
- [Brennan] Sure, yeah yeah yeah.
- Yeah, that's a 24.
- [Brennan] Okay, with the Control Flames,
you are able to basically,
and you also have Create
and Destroy Water, right?
- I have Create and Destroy
Water. I have Produce Flame.
So I can strategically use
the water and the flame
to basically build-
- The horses don't seem
affected by the cold,
and you are able to basically
kick up with your spell
a little mound of snow
that you can go within
and then just magically
produce and keep a fire going,
so you will be able to rest here.
- If we're hungry, I have Ice Feast.
- Goodberries actually provide
you with the nourishment
for an entire day.
- [Siobhan] Oh, wow.
- If anyone needs whiskey or bubblegum-
- I think I need some
whiskey and bubblegum.
- [Ally] Me too!
- That's my boy.
- And then a long rest
gets rid of my max hit
point and exhaustion?
- Yes, yes yes yes.
- So, I mean,
this is obviously incredibly
inhospitable terrain.
I think we all know that.
Do we think it's still worth pursuing?
Look, we needed a reason
to get out of that castle,
because it was a weird situation.
A bunch of hot b*tches with cool powers
squatting in a dead woman's castle?
Can we agree that that was weird?
- That was weird, yeah. The vibe was off.
- When you put it like that.
- Wait, say it one more time,
just because I liked it so much.
- A bunch of hot b*tches.
- Yep.
- With cool powers.
- Yep.
- Squatting in a dead woman's castle.
- Yep.
- Succinct.
- So I think that we were all
looking for a reason, but is...
Pib, how do you feel?
Because a lot of us are
just rooting for you
to find out about giants.
- I don't know.
Yeah, I guess, I mean, do we have a sense
that it really is this direction?
- I think it's hard for you to say.
You know that that's where
it's placed on the map,
but, you know, all of
your answers kind of led
to this alliance that
you've just now fled.
So I think there's this
thing of, like, you know,
what's the last answer you sort of have?
And it's like there's this...
I think that knowing that
someone found Alphonse
and also came this way is something.
It's maybe enough for a leap
of faith, essentially, but...
- These horses are the
princesses' horses, right?
- [Brennan] The Snow Queen's.
- The Snow Queen's horses?
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- Okay, so they'd probably be
familiar with this terrain.
- Stands to reason, yeah.
- I will cast Speak with Animals on-
- Here we go!
- The smartest looking horse?
- The smartest looking horse.
Which one looks like it can do-
- Give me insight to find
the smartest looking horse.
- That's a 16.
- I'll say on a 16, as a princess,
the horse that was the
most stubborn you go to,
the one that had the most
mind of its own, essentially.
You go over. [snorts like a horse]
- Well hello there, Miss Horse.
- Hello.
- You're a very fine looking lady.
- Thank you very much.
I appreciate this
compliment you have paid.
- Have you been here before?
Have you been to see the giants?
- [Brennan] The giants?
- Or any of your friends?
- Oh, yes.
We are only half of us here.
But, you know,
there is normally a large carriage
of the Snow Queen, her
sleigh that we pull.
Now, we are just riding saddled.
But we have come through
this place before.
- Do you know the way to the giants?
- The Land of Giants?
- Yes.
- We have traveled this way before, yes.
- And this is the right way?
- Go ahead and give me animal handling.
- Can I help?
- Yeah, give a little help action.
- That's better, dirty 20. Thank you.
- Looks and says, we know the way.
The Land of Giants across the vast tundra,
eventually you come to the mountains
in the north of Snowhold.
The top of those mountains is
the castle of the North Wind,
and past that, they say,
is the Land of Giants.
Always was our carriage left
at the castle of the North Wind,
but many times, our
mistress the Snow Queen
would journey from that
place to the Land of Giants.
- So if you would be happy
to, you could take us there?
I'm so sorry, I'm so
rude. What's your name?
I'm Rosamund. What's your name?
I'm not great at horse, but
I'll try. I'll try my best.
- My name is Clara.
- Clara! That's a beautiful name.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, do you like it?
- My name?
- Yeah.
Oh!
- I feed it a carrot.
[Brennan munching]
- We have left where
my horse brain can go.
- Sure. I get it.
Sometimes my horse
brain is like that, too.
- It's honestly huge that I know my name.
- It's huge, Clara.
- It's huge for me that I know my name.
- That's a smart horse.
- That's a smart horse.
- Damn, you picked the smart horse.
- You're very intelligent.
- Thank you. Are you princess?
- [Siobhan] I'm a princess, yes.
- I feel like you are princess,
even though you not wear crown.
- Thank you, I feel like
you're a very noble horse,
even though you don't wear a crown.
You're a leader, and that's
why you're so rebellious.
- I am horse princess.
- Yes, you're a horse princess.
You're a princess horse.
- And you're a leader,
because you're so rebellious.
- Clara, the princess of
horses. You're a leader.
- Rebellious.
- Was this like my situation
when you guys were all
telling me I was a princess?
- No no no no, you really are!
- This is the horse princess,
and you're a princess.
- Does this make you think of Senator?
[players laughing]
- I feed you a carrot.
- I'll take one, too.
[Lou imitates wood clunking]
- That's your stomach?
Wooden gears grinding?
- That's me kicking it out
of the hole in my foot.
- This all sounds super far away.
- Yeah, how long does-
- Do you know how many days and nights
it might take to get to the giants?
- If you wish to do it in one night,
you could simply talk to the moon
and ask her to tell the sun not to rise.
- Is that a thing that
the Snow Queen could do?
- Yeah, did it all the time.
- Oh. I mean, I'll give it a go.
- It still takes a long time.
- Yeah, it's the same amount of time.
- Same amount of time, just
kind of all in the dark.
- Honestly sounds like a
winter in the north to me.
- Okay, so we rode the
f*cking wind one time.
- [Siobhan] Sure.
- Can I...
I know I'm going to have to crit,
and I probably can't
even get this if I crit.
- [Lou] I know you can.
- I have Gust, because I'm a Big Bad Wolf.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- Can I essentially, like,
blow a message to the wind
that's like, [whisper] we
need you more than ever now!
- That's way better, I
thought you were going to say
you were going to try to Gust us there
and jump into your own Gust.
- I will try that right now.
- Can I somersault into my own breath?
- I'll give, my birds will
give you the help action
by echoing all of your
whispers into the wind.
- We're just trying to
get the Gust started
so that the North Wind-
- [whisper] You once helped us.
We seek the castle of the North Wind.
- Go ahead, and I'll let the Gust spell
give you a help action on this prayer.
So go ahead and give me,
I think it's like a prayer, essentially.
Go ahead and give me-
- [whisper] We seek the
castle of the North Wind!
- I'm going to say you
can roll with advantage,
and yes, you must crit.
- And I'll use Call to
Destiny on this as well.
- [Siobhan] Great.
- We got it.
- First one is a seven.
Second one is an 18!
- Dammit.
- And last one...
Is a 13.
- Dang it!
- So close.
- I like it. I like it, though.
All right, so you call
out to the North Wind.
No response forthcoming, but
Clara the horse does say,
if you wish for us to ride
as fast as we can, then ride we can.
- That would be much appreciated,
and we have more carrots
where that one came from, so.
- Where did that one come from?
- I look at Pinocchio
eating the last carrot.
- I look in the bag.
We have three carrots.
- Just pick them up.
- Picking them up, very chewed up.
- Pinocchio doesn't actually eat.
- Carrot mulch.
- It's just mush!
- There is gum mashed in his teeth.
- Gum and carrots just mixed together.
- A little whiskey in there.
- When you eat gum, is it
just a dry, wooden mouth?
- Like a little popcorn ball.
- Yeah, it's like mochi, essentially.
- You have to drink some water
so it can get wet enough to blow.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- If we're resting, could
I maybe pop open my book?
- You pop open your book,
and your book is blank.
- Wait, the whole thing?
- Even from the stuff I've previously-
- Even from the stuff
you've previously written.
- Did they f*cking steal our book?
They f*cking stole our book!
That's why they're not scared!
- No no no, I think that
wing got put down, right?
- Hm?
- [Ally] Did a wing get torn down in The-
- Let me look at this.
Let me sniff it and see if it
smells like Timothy's book.
- Smells like shampoo.
- This isn't your f*cking book!
They stole our f*cking book!
- Rapunzel stole your
book when she hugged you.
- When you got cocooned.
Remember, you told us
about that nasty cocoon?
- We have to go back.
[Emily groans]
- f*ck.
- We have to go back.
- We gotta k*ll everybody!
- All right.
- What are we going to do when
we go back? They all know-
- [Ally] We're going to have to k*ll them.
- They don't know how
to get to the Arthurs.
- They don't know that.
- Why don't we just-
- They need the ink. They don't have-
- I think we can just
break in, steal the book,
get Elody and Mira, and dip.
- There wasn't even a roll!
- [Zac] We could also-
- It was a roll.
- [Ally] It was?
- It was your passive perception.
- Damn!
- Yeah, I knew it,
because he doesn't have
to talk to you about that.
- Tim has a 19 passive perception.
That's wild. Anyway, sorry.
- Here's something that I would
like to figure out, maybe.
Not every world is the same.
Maybe we go this way and we figure out
the giants of this world
didn't destroy Marienne,
so maybe they're not the
same giants that I hated.
Maybe we can-
- Or maybe Jack the Giant Slayer's
just k*lling all the giants.
- Maybe.
- Also, haven't been in my book, I guess.
I don't know, I think going
just directly back there
is just going to be-
- We could go to the Baba Yaga.
To get our book back.
- [Siobhan] How?
- And what would we barter
for any assistance from her?
- I mean, the consequences
of not getting the book back are-
- I'll tell her-
- Huge.
- Yeah, we can't let them have the book,
and we can't beat them,
so we need something.
- I can't believe that happened.
- It's okay.
- Damn.
- Does this mean that you
can't cast your spells now?
- You can cast your spells.
Not your extra book spells,
but you're still a witch.
- Okay, dang.
- All right, we need to go to
the Baba Yaga, I think, right?
- Does anyone else want to
just go back and get the book?
- I kind of want to go
back and get the book.
- I do want to go back and
get the book, but yeah.
- I think we can go back and get the book.
- I don't think we can at
all. I mean, did you see-
- We walked down a hall.
We made it halfway down one hallway,
and we were almost dead.
- And there weren't even
any princesses around.
- They have the book now.
They know where the ink is.
- They don't, though.
At least they don't know where the ink is.
They're going to be going
to the bottom of the ocean.
- We gave them a misdirection
to the actual right place, though.
If they even start to look
into where The Lines In
Between are, they can find
that you don't have to go
to the bottom of the ocean.
They might say, hey Mira, we
heard that there's a thing
at the bottom of the ocean.
- I will also interject
here and say one thing
that Rosamund, you would know,
which is that there's only
six princesses back there,
so going back there-
- Right, me going back
there specifically is, like,
gives them whatever weird ritual
they need that they need
seven princesses for.
- The fairies are still
trying to stop them.
They still need to beat the fairies.
This is not, like, I don't, I
mean, this is a ticking clock,
but I don't think it's the last hour.
- Right, do we snitch
on them to the fairies?
- [Emily] No!
- The fairies are also bad.
- I don't want to be
involved in either side.
- I don't want to destroy my story,
and I don't want my story
to go back to normal.
- This could've all
been solved with a note.
- She just didn't want to read it?
- She didn't want to read the note.
We have a whole, there's a
lot of baggage with the note.
- I got to say, Gerard,
she's put up a lot of walls, okay?
- Well, yeah, I ran away while our castle
was being attacked with a bunch
of children and old people
and, you know, it makes
people pretty angry at you,
and with good reason.
And then you sing songs
about hair being everywhere,
and you have birthdays where
you give them a present,
and you really ask them to
really perform the birthday card
for you, and then they don't
want to read your note, so.
- It's a lot of-
- Just a lot of stuff.
- Yeah, I guess that stuff happens.
- Yeah.
- Normal stuff.
- Old stuff coming up, very triggering.
- I will also say right now
that in terms of the
option of the Baba Yaga
on the table in front of you,
the last time you traveled
was in a different part of Snowhold.
Finding the Big Bad Wolf
to help find the Baba Yaga
is not effortless, either.
- Right, I know, that's
what I'm wondering about.
- When other people touched
my book, it really hurt them.
Do I have any way of knowing
if it would hurt them also?
- Unclear.
- [Ally] Early on?
- In terms of who was hurt by your book?
- Yeah, you guys tried to open it,
and it really hurt people.
- Well, you would open it and
stuff would come out of it,
but that was largely
when the book was opened.
- The book was also used
as a portal to get to,
isn't that how we got to The
Lines In Between to begin with?
- Only through Scheherazade.
- Scheherazade pulled us through it.
- Can we send, okay, do we
have any way to contact people
to let them know?
- Yeah, your cloak.
- Yeah, the Cloak of Stars.
- Do you want to just go and just say,
do not go in there!
- We have lost the book.
- Post a guard outside of the ink place,
and do not go in there!
- Yeah, tell Scheherazade
not to talk to you, because-
- Yeah, because we don't
have the book anymore.
- [Siobhan] Sure.
- So let's tell Scheherazade that.
- Awesome.
You were going to use the
Cloak of Stars, correct?
- Yeah, can I scoop Pib
and bring Pib with me?
- Yeah, absolutely.
- He's just a little guy!
- Can I see, where's that cloak?
- Oh yeah, I think I have both
of the cards. Here you go.
- Thank you. Cloak of Stars.
- You can use an action to
enter The Lines Between,
along with everything that
you are wearing and carrying.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- You remain there
until you use an action to
return to the plane you were on.
You reappear in the
last space you occupied.
- Hell yes, so you grab Pib
and you use the Cloak of Stars.
You use it to enter The Lines Between.
- I want to leave...
And we can come back
this way? Is it one way?
- Yeah, no, we can use
the cloak to go both ways,
but if you go off and explore,
you have to come back to me
to get back, and we'll come back
to exact same spot, so
don't anybody leave.
- So you go to use the Cloak of Stars.
You begin to move, trying to
get back to The Lines Between.
As you do so,
you feel a
[ominous rumbling]
sudden-
- Uh-oh.
- ...change.
All of you watch as stars
surround Sleeping Beauty,
Pib on her shoulder.
- This is normal?
- I don't know! I've not done this before!
- Mother Goose, you hear in your ears,
[honks echoing]
lost something very
precious, didn't we, Tim?
Whoom!
Space rips open in front of you,
and you see the vast, cosmic
wingspan of the Gander.
- Oh sh*t.
- And all of you are buffeted.
If you remember the princesses
talking about how dangerous
inter-planar travel was.
- f*ck.
- Whoom! Schwoo!
And all of you can feel the ground
being peeled away from
existence underneath you
as the Gander says,
something very precious!
Feel like making something, Tim?
Anything you want?
And the wings go wide,
and you feel yourself suspended in air.
- I'm so f*cking pissed. This sucks.
I don't know what to do, yeah.
- Yeah, I don't know what to do.
- You feel yourself,
this force of unmaking.
You hear the Gander
eyeing you, Mother Goose,
saying, where is she?
She's not supposed to be anywhere I am!
- I don't know.
- [Brennan] Pib, give me
another perception check.
- 18.
- You look at this thing.
You see a little...
[fabric ripping, glass breaking]
That thing of reality.
You see those leaves, spiraling leaves,
something about giants, giant footprints,
and you see Tim's face swirling
in the vortex of the Gander,
and you see Tim's face swirling
in the vortex of the Gander,
and you see the face of a young
man you've never seen before
looking out at you and going,
tears running down his face,
goes, my dad, my dad.
The golden goose, a golden egg.
And it's moved back in
again, and you suddenly feel,
And it's moved back in
again, and you suddenly feel,
as reality's fading,
pulling away from you,
you suddenly have this image of giants
and a beanstalk and the
Land of Giants, something.
You see the book of this
world, of your world,
the book of this story
you are in right now.
There's something edited,
something changed,
something hiding in a book as
though someone wrote themself
into a story and then used
whiteout to cover the page
so they would be hidden behind something
where this Gander could never find them.
Where is she?
- Who is she? The Stepmother?
- The Goose.
- The Goose.
- The Golden Goose.
- As you say the Goose,
you hear... [shrieks]
This Gander spreads out,
screams, and whoosh!
I'm going to need everybody here
to make strength saving throws for me.
[Dramatic music and dice rolls]
- Oh my god.
Nine.
- 12.
- [Zac] Two.
- [Murph] 24.
- [Brennan] 24, three.
You are all being buffeted
back by tremendous wind
as this seam in reality is opened up.
Gerard, you save on your
strength saving throw
and are standing up in this moment.
Is there anything you want to do,
having not been blown away by the wind?
- Oh god.
[Dramatic music]
Does it seem like I could grab somebody?
Could I grab Tim before
Tim could blow away?
- Give me a-
- I think the other thing
I wanted to do is maybe
hold up the Sword of Truth.
- Hell yeah, you want to
hold up the Sword of Truth?
- Yeah, just at the Gander?
- Yeah.
- Cool, you hold up the Sword of Truth.
- Man, you could've used that with Elody.
- Yeah.
- But then she would've just been like,
oh, this is a Sword of Truth, sure.
That was her vibe, was
always like, okay, dude.
- Me and the sword are a bad combo.
- [Siobhan] Yes, that's fair.
- You hold up the Sword of
Truth. As you hold it up...
Let's say you guys want
a high number here.
That's a nat 20!
- Good god.
- Nat 20, okay!
- [Emily] What does that mean?
- The drama!
The drama.
- [Ally] To you, dear viewer.
- You hold up the Sword of Truth.
All of you, for a moment, see
the Gander's vast, cosmic face
as he goes, come on, Tim!
Lucky number three!
And you stand alone as everyone else
is being buffeted back by the wind.
You hold up the sword, and
all of you look and see
in the shimming blade of the sword,
a reflection of the Gander,
a pure, golden reflection,
a reflection of the Gander,
a pure, golden reflection,
as the Goose goes,
ah, brother.
And the Gander goes... [shrieks]
And is cut in half by this seam of gold.
There is a split.
You are all tumbling through the sky
and begin to fall towards
white tundra again,
and as you are falling, each of you lands,
thump thump thump thump thump thump,
onto a galloping horseback
as Clara says, my horse followers!
Clara says, followers
of the horse princess,
you have done well!
[Zac wailing]
As all of you are sprinting off,
reflected in the sword,
you see this flickering
image, Gerard, on a nat 20,
of a golden goose who
looks out and you and says,
brave and true, prince.
Brave and true.
And looks out at you and says,
it's good to see you again, Tim.
- It's great to see you,
too. We need your help.
- Come find me. I...
And here, you hear a
shout saying, the beast!
It's speaking! Tie it down!
And the image of the Golden
Goose flickers from the sword.
- Okay.
- Do the giants have her?
- Or the Arthurs.
- The giants have the Goose.
- Oh god, let's go.
- Let's go.
- You ride and ride as fast as the wind.
The princess Clara...
The princess Clara takes it personally
that this should be done
before the rising of the sun,
and with a magic born
of fairy tales themselves, it is done so.
Fleet of foot, the horses
gallop through the snowy plains,
up the mountains, all the way
to the castle of the North Wind.
There, they stop. The
horses can go no farther.
And you travel through
the mountains north.
The mountains are so tall
as the path leads you along the peaks
that you come through
mist and cloud itself.
As you move through the clouds
along the peaks above them,
the path suddenly stops
as the cloud and mist,
as you stand above the clouds and mist,
the path stops and you
see, some 30 yards out,
a small mile marker that's
poking out of the cloud.
a small mile marker that's
poking out of the cloud.
The cloud doesn't disperse.
- Maybe we can ride the cloud.
I sit on the cloud.
- Try and climb on the cloud.
- I was constructing
a more elaborate plan.
If we get a rope tied..
Ah!
- I sit on the cloud.
- You take a step out onto it.
Such a pleasant little squish.
- Ooh!
- It's like a beanbag. I always
wanted to try one of these.
Hop on, let's watch a movie.
- Again, the cloud is like a normal cloud,
meaning it's miles wide.
You begin to walk on the
squishy surface of the cloud,
these little mile markers,
and you walk from one to the other
on the squishy, misty soil of the clouds.
[Brennan mimics squishy cloud footsteps]
As you walk, all of you become aware of
weird little cutbacks,
those seams of reality,
something changed or altered,
something amended
in a true book somewhere
above this reality.
You walk along, and finally you see it,
a little stalk of green.
You get to the edge of a cloud,
and there's a little leafy sort of sprig.
It's about six feet tall.
- It looks like it's going down?
- Looks like it's going down.
- That's how Jack gets up.
- Like a fireman's pole.
- Yeah, but I didn't expect
to see this from this angle.
- Strange.
- I kind of poke my
head down to look down.
- You look down and see a
landscape far beneath you.
Rolling countryside.
- Whoa!
- Yeah, it's f*cked up.
Farms and forests and rivers
and all kinds of stuff.
- Is there anything up here, though?
- Yeah.
- Not that you can see.
It was just sort of these mile markers.
- So are the giants down there?
- Let's keep following
the mile markers, then.
- In this world, did the
giants decide, once...
Is this a world without
Jack, or with Jack?
- It's with Jack, and I don't know him.
I don't know if I can do this,
or I don't know if I want
to meet the Jack that doesn't
even know I'm his father.
I don't know if there's
a way for us to split up.
Are we in the world of the giants?
The horses brought us here, right?
- The horses are back at the
castle of the North Wind.
- We're in the clouds where in a story,
it seems like the giants would be up here,
but they're not up here,
and it seems like they have ventured down.
- So we don't see the giants anywhere?
- You don't see them
up here in the clouds.
- Can we see, when we look down
at the buildings down there,
are they just a little bit
bigger than maybe they should be?
Are they a little bit bigger?
- I'm going to say that's
a DC 25 perception check
from this high.
- [Emily] I can't make it.
I'd need to crit.
- [Murph] I can't do that.
- I'll give it a shot.
- It's worth a look.
- Yeah, I got a 25.
- 25. You look down.
No, you don't think that
those are giant castles.
- Just a regular sized castle.
- There's nothing about
them that makes you go-
- Just a regular little farm?
- Just a regular-
- [Emily] Timothy.
- Either that or the cows are huge.
- Timothy, it's possible that we might,
it might be really advantageous
to meet the Jack that is the Giant Slayer.
- I know, yeah. I appreciate that truth.
I just think I traded everything
for that book, and I don't have it.
- So you want that book when you get to...
If you have to.
- I don't know, yeah, I just...
If we take care of the giants thing first,
then I don't know, yeah.
- I understand.
- I think if we get the Golden Goose,
then the Goose can help
us get the book back.
- Yes, definitely, definitely.
- I think the Goose is there.
I know that it must be hard
to try to see this version of your son.
- Yeah, I just don't think
I can take two capital L Ls
in a row and not want
to cast Blink on myself.
- It doesn't necessarily have to be an L.
- You can cast Blink on yourself.
- There's a chance that
this Jack needs you, too.
- Yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah.
- We're here for you, and
if you need to sit it out
and take a second, you can do that.
- Yeah, can I throw this stupid
f*cking shampoo book away?
Can I throw it down the hole?
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- I throw it down the hole.
- [Emily] Are you sure
you don't want to just light it up?
- You just want to throw
it off the edge of-
- I just throw it off
the edge of the Earth.
- How big does the book look
as it kind of falls down?
- I'll do a perception check.
- It was already a pretty large book.
- [Siobhan] It's a big book.
- It's disappeared.
- [Siobhan] It's hefty, right?
- It's gone.
- Okay.
- So maybe this is a world
where all the giants have been slain.
- Wasn't there something
about things being whited out or hidden?
- Yeah, I was wondering, do you think-
- [Ally] That could be Jack.
- We were trying to travel
to The Lines Between.
- Could be Jack.
Could be the Goose.
- And then it got interrupted.
- Yes, but the Gander wouldn't let us, so-
- Should we go down this-
- It could be your husband.
- I think we just follow the mile markers.
- I just want everyone
to know we're going,
but my steps kind of look geriatric.
- Aw, poor Mother Goose.
- Shuffling my little feet,
being like, okay, let's go.
- I put my arm
through your arm just like
this as we're walking.
- Do you want to ride me?
- It's a lot of fun.
- Yes! He starts ugly crying. Yes!
- Poor Mother Goose.
It's been a long, strange
journey altogether,
and it is a hard road to now face.
Much has been lost, and in
the midst of so many questions
being answered, now it seems
that you are more alone
than ever, more aware of all the forces
in the vast Neverafter conspiring
with great power and force
to do things that you do not wish for,
to take magic of yours and
use it against your will
to hurt the world that you love.
Descending on the
beanstalk from the clouds,
you begin to move down.
The beanstalk is not titanic.
It is, you know, maybe, like,
it's big enough to support you.
It's, like, five feet
wide, eight feet wide.
Begin to move down it,
and it is miles down
of this horrifying... [quavering]
- Take a break?
- I'm riding you, if that's okay.
I just have my arms around
your neck like a little kid.
- [Murph] Carabiner locked, everybody.
- Belay on.
- Belay on, on belay.
- I try to do a cat
purr. It's so soothing.
- It's very unnerving, but I do like it.
- As you get lower and
lower, the sun sets,
and you get lower and lower.
As you get lower down towards it,
you begin to see watch
fires lit down here,
and it's hard to see at night,
but you finally get closer,
closer, and see the watch fires.
The landscape you saw from
before was sort of vast and wide.
This landscape, you realize,
is covered in flames,
scorched earth, cut down trees.
As you're getting closer and
closer, you start to squint,
and it's hard to see at night,
but you begin to hear...
[w*r horn sounding]
As you descend, you hear
voices calling out, going,
they are here!
They destroyed the church as a warning,
and now they have come!
- No, we're not giants! We're not giants!
- You look and see a
church, about that big,
with your book crushing it.
- Oh sh*t! We're the giants!
- Roll initiative!
Roll initiative! - [Siobhan]
We're just a bunch of little guys!
- Twist! They're little guys!
You're little guys!
- I crit on my initiative.
- I crit in the opposite direction.
- Oh my god, I'm so sorry
for throwing the book!
- The giants have come to w*r!
- Oh my god.
- As tiny little people
rush from the hillside.
- We're going to have mini minis?
- We're going to have mini minis.
- Mini minis for our
minis? We're the maxis!
- You're the maxis now, baby!
That's all for this
episode of Dimension 20.
Tune in next week
as Jack the Giant Slayer
slays some giants.
Tune in!
Descending the beanstalk,
you arrived here facing
what looks to be a kind of DEFCON 1
state of preparedness
for giant incursions.
- Jack, you get back here right now!
- Many have claimed that
for the strength I wield,
I must be the son of giants.
Would you come and mock
me with that same joke?
- Golden Goose, how do I get you out?
- [Brennan] Well, I'm tied
down with these terrible ropes.
- [Murph] I'm going to
start taking them out,
if that's cool.
- All right.
- [Murph] Great.
- Thank you.
- You're very calm under
pressure. I'm freaking out here.
Winds of the South, Winds
of the [Brennan gibbering]
- This doesn't need to be a fight!
We don't need to fight you, necessarily!
- They're monsters from the sky!
- Rosamund, what the f*ck?
- Boom!
As the tower just crushes
two of the archers up in that unit.
- This is the best puppet
show I've ever been to.
- [Brennan] Please, come, save us!
- You got it, absolutely! I'm on my way!
- It's over, it's lost.
Torch the beanstalk!
- [Zac] Alphonse!
- Pib, f*cking talk to your boy!
- Cricket, go give the mule one last gift.
- Don't drink water!
[fireworks whizzing]
[ominous music]
[ominous music continues]
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16x15 - Leap of Faith
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.