[dramatic instrumental music]
- In the world of Spyre
did prophecy foretell
that the dragon Kalvaxus would
rise to power when once more
were seven maidens chained
at the mouth of his cave.
What the prophecy could not predict
was what The Seven had
in store for the world.
United by prophecy, bound by
friendship, the Seven Maidens
would quickly become one
of Spyre's premier parties
of teen heroes and all-star students
at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy.
Hello one and all!
Welcome back to another thrilling episode
of Dimension 20 "The Seven."
I'm your humble dungeon
master Brennan Lee Mulligan.
With me as always are our
Heroic High Schoolers.
Say hi, Heroic High Schoolers.
- [Players] Hi, Heroic High Schoolers.
- Last we left off we were at
the midst of a masquerade ball
aboard the Rombosa, flag airship of mogul
and Baronic Lord Talcidimir Tallbreeze.
But we're not here to talk
about boastful billionaires.
We're here to talk about
Tectonya Karkovnya.
- Yeah.
- The superintendent of
the Solesian School System
who has just been discovered
by our seven fearless Maidens!
- Hah, hah, hah!
[player vocalizes dramatically]
- Danielle Barkstock with a nat 20
on her entrance into the party,
resplendent as the Empress
Anima of the Eidolons
made contact with a disguised woman
kind of behind a fan-like
book that is covering her face
with a red velvet pair of shoes
which due to the reconnaissance
of Penny Duckstone below.
- Haha!
- Haha!
- With the adorable Lysander Higgins,
we discovered that this was
none other than Tectonya!
Your long quest to find the Superintendent
has been fruitful, she is here
at this grand masquerade
ball in the VIP dais.
However, all is not as it seems.
Transforming into horrible,
glowing, ooze-like monsters,
many guests at the party
began to sneeze and cough
in these horrible transformation
as seen by Antiope Jones below
along with a perception
check that let her know
that some horrifying spell was at work.
Some element of concentration
being held on these monstrosities.
I lay the scene for you now.
[dramatic instrumental music]
You are all in the grand
ballroom in one place or another
for the most part of the Rombosa.
Empress Anima, AKA, Danielle Barkstock
is in conversation in the dais
with Talcidimir Tallbreeze
and Tectonya Karkovnya.
Rapidly approaching her
also here in the VIP dais
due to some very careful disguise work,
and shoving a rich electrum
piece bro in a closet.
- Like they all should be.
- [Brennan] [laughs] They all should be.
- Yeah.
- Disguised as Dunston Tallbreeze,
Sam Nightingale is entering the VIP dais
passing by the Lady Coeliabranca,
who is sort of the majordomo
of Talcidimir Tallbreeze.
Approaching from the other entryway
with host Michel Parnassus
and half-orc guard Sean
is Katja Cleaver who has just
discovered that her mother
may be here at the masquerade.
- You little b*tch.
- [laughs] Out on the balcony
overlooking the city skyline
of Gravalvia is Ostentatia Wallace
who has Michel Parnassus's charm,
but also was going out to
where the dancing was happening
and now looks around at a dance floor
with people bursting out into
monstrous forms and shapes.
On the ground floor by Lysander's
little shoe shine chair
is Penny Duckstone.
Farther away, kind of with a central view
of many areas and balconies
is Midnight Huntress, AKA Antiope Jones.
And charging out from the
bathroom at the sounds of screams
is also Madam Goodparty AKA Zelda Donovan.
- Yes.
[Aabria laughing]
- Madam.
- What a good name.
- [Brennan] Madam Goodparty to kind of-
- Madam Goodparty.
- Madam Goodparty.
- So the last thing I want
to mention is that Antiope
on the first floor is not only
seeing all of this transpire
and have some idea about
the nature of the threat
unveiling itself to you.
You also are holding
Preston's shirt, bugged.
- Sir, why did I bring
Preston's shirt to this ball?
- To deeply inhale from it.
- I did, that's why.
I just wanted it on
camera that... [sniffs]
- You guys didn't get a hotel room.
You don't have your bags somewhere.
You brought it with you to the mountain
which means you brought it-
- There aren't lockers on this airship?
- There aren't lockers on this airship?
- Oh, we should have all pooled.
- Can we reserve a locker?
- Ah, the staple of any
masquerade ball, your cubbies.
- Yeah.
[players laughing]
- Take a bin if you want some
blocks or markers for later.
From again, our incredible team over at,
shout out to the whole team at TaleSpire,
to Hanan and Rick as well
for this amazing set.
Mr. Michael Schaubach,
would you like to display
to our Heroic High Schoolers
the scene that now unfolds.
- Shut up, this looks like the Titanic
- What, oh my God!
- No, no
- Oh my God.
- This ship is gonna
crash into an air iceberg.
- This is the g*dd*mn
Sistine Chapel of the air!
- Oh my God.
- [Brennan] We are
approaching the Great Hall.
- Yo, is this f*cking
Moroccan architecture?
Get the f*ck out of here.
- Shut up!
- [Aabria] And you said you
weren't a f*cking artist.
- [Rekha] Oh my God, look
at those triangulations.
- He was gonna give us a
tour, but it's impossible.
- Holy sh*t.
- This is amazing!
♪ I'm gonna f*ck this building ♪
♪ Gonna f*ck this building ♪
- [Persephone] I am drenched.
- [Aabria] Yo, I drown.
- That is the VIP dais
we're seeing now that
suspends over the hall.
There's the fountain underneath.
- Hagia Sophia-a*s looking. [groans]
- Feels like a drag, but it's not.
- This looks like a level
in Dragon Age or something.
- This looks like the
Titanic before sh*t crashed.
- [Becca] Before sh*t crashed.
- [Aabria] Please don't
lie, I feel like that.
- [Brennan] So there is the room
where Sam shoved Dunston
into a closet, this room-
- Yeah, f*cking yeah.
- Okay.
- [Brennan] Dunston was hanging out.
- [Aabria] This is where
Dunston checked in.
- [Brennan] Dunston checked in.
This is the second-story
balcony as we move through.
That little landing dais is where the host
was stopping people from going farther
before Ostentatia charmed him.
- Yeah, stupid b*tch.
- [Brennan] That is the
entry to the kitchens.
There's an elevator here.
We see the kitchen's here.
- [Becca] I'll be that way.
- [Brennan] Nobody is
starting in the kitchens,
but they they are here.
- [Erika] Okay, yum.
- [Isabella] Is that a
starfish on the table?
- [Brennan] They got weird food here.
- What the f*ck?
- It's a ship.
- Eat a raw-a*s starfish.
- It's a ship thing.
- In the air, they have their own cuisine.
- There's nothing wrong with a starfish.
[Brennan laughing]
- Thank you.
- Just a star, God damn it.
[players laughing]
- You have been introduced to the Rombosa!
[players cheering]
[players clapping]
Thank you for that lovely tour
of the Baronies' premier skyship,
Mr. Michael Schaubach.
- Ooh.
- Fans for the design.
- And now if you'd be so kind
we will adjourn to TaleSpire.
- f*ck.
- The first to act is Antiope Jones.
You can tell something's going wrong
way before anything else starts.
I will say this right now,
you see that a lot of these
sort of horrible blob ooze
monsters are still like,
you're going so early before them
that they're still completing
their transformation
as you begin to go, but still
now look very, very dangerous.
What would you like to do in this moment?
- So I'm holding on to Preston's
shirt, and I'm holding on
to the little crystal
that's glowing, right?
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- sh**t.
The first thing I want to
do is try to break that
just to see if that will fix all of this
and then we don't have
to do this whole combat.
- Yeah, that's gonna happen.
So you break that, we're f*cked.
As a free object interaction
you crush the crystal
and break the delicate crystal technology.
I'm gonna say that you
grew up in the compound
and have seen this before.
These are location trackers
so they know that you're here.
It's constantly sending
a message of where it is
so they won't know the
next place you go to
if you go to a next place, you know?
- Cool, cool, cool.
Then beyond that I wanna
go ahead and take aim.
There's some good gooey
boys right in front of me.
- [Rekha] Disgusting.
- Oh, don't call him that.
- [Becca] Good gooey boys.
- I would like
to attack the gooiest boy.
- Goo jesters.
- [Isabella] Oh, they look like Audrey II.
- [Aabria] Yeah!
- I was gonna say,
they look like they have platters
of vegetables on their heads.
- They look incredible.
- [Aabria] Yeah, one of
them is just like, a booger.
Is that worse than the ones
that still are like people?
- No, they seem to be
about equivalent in terms.
They all look bad to you.
- Okay.
Then yeah, I'll take aim at the boog.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- And will Hunter's Mark and then attack.
- Hell yeah, go for it.
- Cool.
Dirty 20 to hit.
[dice tapping table]
And then, oh, I can't do math, 18 to hit.
- So give me those one more time.
- Dirty 20 and an 18 to hit.
- Oh, those are both
definitely going to hit.
- f*ck yeah.
[dice tapping table]
[intense instrumental music]
and another six, so 22 points
of total damage to the boog.
- 22 total points of damage
to the boog, incredible.
- [laughs] Disgusting.
- [groans] So gross.
- And I'm trying to do
it pretty stealthily.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You fire two arrows fly out from your bow.
You're not putting any
bursting effects on them
so there's no flashy magic going on.
With 22 damage, two arrows
fly into that booger.
Seem to injure it.
It does not look dramatically wounded.
- Then I want to lean down
onto the bracelet and be like,
guys, it's getting f*cking weird out here!
- Here's a question,
or I'll just ask this.
Are they like, 'cause are
they squishy and soft?
Does that matter in terms of
what actually affects them?
- God, I don't know.
- [Rekha] I don't know.
- It definitely injures it you see.
But you can go ahead and either use,
if you want to use a
Monster Slayer ability here
or give me a perception or insight check
or even a survival check.
- Yeah, can I do a survival check?
- [Brennan] Give me a survival check.
- Wait, just sort of processing
as I, ah, that's very bad.
- It's like hurting my brain.
- 14.
- You look at this thing.
You definitely see that it is injured
'cause it moves to avoid that happening.
Like, you've trained fighting things
that are fully immune to stuff.
Like once a werewolf knows
you don't have a silver weapon
it doesn't flinch as it fights.
It's like, nothing you can do can hurt me.
This thing is hurt by what you're doing.
You would guess on a 14 that
what you're dealing with here
is probably like an
abundance of just durability.
You thinking you're dealing
with raw hit points here.
- Gotcha.
- Not anything else.
However, that's a very frightening thing
'cause the hall is
crawling with these things
that just took 22 points
of damage without dropping.
- Sweet, yeah, I think I send
that message to the group
as she's pulling out the
first of those five arrows.
Like, gonna have to get weird
on these guys, and that's me.
- So Antiope, any movement
from you that round?
- Oh yeah, let me f*ck off entirely
from this area, thank you.
[Brennan laughing]
- Oh my God, is that
an action you can take?
- Please and thank you.
- It's like, dodge, disengage, f*ck off.
- Yeah or just, nope.
- f*ck off entirely.
- I would like to nope as a bonus action.
- Nope on out of there, nah, nope.
- Can you just-
- Yeet.
- Someone just move me 30 feet back
away from this little spot.
Sorry young noble Seven.
Good luck, you're hot!
- You're hot?
- Thank you.
- Any bonus actions from Antiope?
- No, I used my bonus
action to Hunter's Mark.
- Oh, great, cool, cool.
Sam Nightingale, that's gonna be you.
- Let's see, can I roll
arcana to see, like,
what these things are made of?
Like what kind of goo this is or anything.
- Give me an arcana check.
[die taps table]
- That is 25.
[warm instrumental music]
- Wow, yes, you do know what these are.
You heard before Dunston
talking about people
in the Baronies getting flubectomies
which are all the rage.
- Oh my God.
- I forgot that you said that.
- Flubectomies.
- One of the things that the
Baronies really struggles with,
they have a big Doppelganger problem here.
And there are many more and
various strains of Doppelganger.
There's throplegangers
where they are one thing
that looks like three people
instead of one other person.
And these are a strain of
those called bloppelgangers.
- Oh my God!
- A bloppelganger is basically
a parasitic organism that can
be introduced into the body
and uses the host body to
become a terrifying acidic ooze
that comes out and kills people.
You know that they are not super fast.
They are incredibly durable.
I mean, you're looking around
and seeing them all over the hall.
This is a big f*cking problem.
If you guys were trapped in
a room with dozens of these,
even at your high level, good
chances you all die, right?
- Okay.
- It's not that they do the
most damage in the world,
but they're just very durable.
And within that, the other
thing you know about them
is that they are not very fast.
They're not hard to hit,
they're not very fast.
In a lot of situations,
like in your early adventure
training would have been like,
if you see an ooze like this
the best thing to do is to run.
Obviously that's not really
necessarily going to be
an option for everybody here
'cause you're all on an airship
and there's not really a lot
of great places to run to,
and there's just so f*cking
many of these things.
But they are called bloppelgangers.
Their damage is primarily acidic.
That's what you know on a 25 arcana check.
- Cool.
- You also know
that for this many to
appear simultaneously
is clearly some act of magic,
like there was an instant transformation.
Normally you have more time,
like the transformation takes longer.
So some act of magic has
ramped up the transformation
to an artificial level.
And I think you would also know-
- Can I jump in and like, I
have added to the group thing
like, there is something that turned these
so we're all on the lookout for it.
- You realize that normally these things,
before they have a host,
are just very small.
They're like tiny-sized little oozes
and realize that if in fact
flubectomies are all the rage
in the Baronies right now that
maybe these arcane parasites
were introduced as part of a
wellness craze in the Baronies.
- [sighs] Okay.
I want to do something weird.
- I love it.
- Good.
- All right so since these
are something that were
introduced with the flubectomy
and it's something that's clearly pouring
out of their orifices, I
want to see what happens
if I just flood all of
their sinuses with water.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- And see if I can get them to purge-
- A reverse flubectomy!
[Aabria laughing]
- Yeah, a reverse flubectomy.
- [Rekha] Amazing.
- I get either you shape water
or shape the water inside them
or create or destroy water.
- And an enema.
- [Aabria] Ooh, all orifices.
- Oh my God, giving them all enemas.
- What level spells are
shape water and create water?
- Shape water's a cantrip.
Create or destroy water is second level.
- Okay, I'm gonna say
on a 25 you are aware
that the substance in them is not water.
Like, it's not elementally aligned.
- No, I mean like I am-
- To flush it out.
- Not like controlling them as water.
I'm trying to push them out with water,
like flush them out of the system.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- We want to give the boogers an enema.
- [Brennan] Gotcha, yes, yes, yes.
- Yeah, it's basically like I'm doing
a really large neti pot on them.
- [Brennan] Amazing.
- We're putting it in different orifices
on this side of the table.
- Yeah.
- [Persephone] You're so
right, yeah, that's right.
- Enema g*ng, enema g*ng, enema g*ng.
- Basically they need
to basically sh**t water
out of all of their
orifices is what I'm saying.
- Amazing, let me take a
look at these spells here.
Shape water and create water.
I am going to say that-
- It's okay if the answer is no.
- I'm gonna say that
create or destroy water
would have an ability to potentially do
what you want it to do.
- Okay, cool.
So I'm going to cast Create Water
inside of the nearest person
and basically flood their system.
- Go ahead and call your shot.
Which of these bloppelgangers
in front of you?
- So I'm gonna go after the
one that has, it's the one
that's only partially
transformed that's closest.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- The one that my character's staring at.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- I'm going to basically
call forth salt water and
just push it inside of them
and then push it back
out and just flood them
as much as possible.
- [Rekha] Oh my God.
- [Aabria] Let's go.
- Amazing.
- [Becca] Now look at this.
- I am gonna say
that this is a very creative use of magic.
- I love it.
- Which I absolutely love.
And it's going to be a
constitution saving throw
from the bloppelganger versus your DC.
I'm gonna roll this right now.
- And I can create like,
how many gallons of water
can I create with that?
It's a lot.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- But that'll be relevant after.
- I was just about to ask
if we should run away,
but we're in the sky.
- [laughs] I feel like our horses can fly
if they super wanted to.
- That is a 19.
You see that you go, whoosh. [gurgles]
And you see the thing [gurgles] hangs on.
This was sort of going to be
a save or die for this thing.
You see that it manages
to hold on as salt water.
But it does open up some things
so you see the noble
underneath this thing going,
just salt, nose, mouth,
butt just going. [screams]
- Can I cast Quicken Spell
on shape water to try again?
- I'm gonna say no, I am going to say no.
I'm gonna start to be a little bit,
this is a very tough battle
and I want these things to feel dangerous.
And also that would be-
- No, Shape Water's a cantrip.
- [gasps] [snaps fingers]
I have to allow it.
Go for it, yes, it's a cantrip.
Go for it, yes, yes, yes.
- Cool, yeah.
Okay, wait, do I roll for this?
I think this is another
constitution saving throw for them.
- [Brennan] It's another constitution-
- I'm just gonna Katara
right back into him.
- Okay, amazing, so burn
your sorcery points.
- Okay, cool.
- You do shape water
to make more water, I'm gonna roll again.
- I'm just reusing the same water
'cause I can't create water with that.
- [Brennan] For sure.
- So anything that came out.
- Anything that came out
you're just [sputters]
'cause it's got dirt and
finger food in it now.
- [Isabella] Disgusting.
[player groans]
- [Persephone] Yep.
[Rekha groans]
- Incredible, this thing saves
on an 11 or higher so let's go.
[die taps table]
[dramatic instrumental music]
Heartbreaking, that is an 11.
- Damn it!
- [gurgles] The bloppelganger remains but-
- I'll get you yet!
- Incredible, incredible thinking.
Any movement from Sam?
- So I am going to move
probably backwards actually.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- If I could get myself
not out of the room but just
like a few steps backwards.
- You move backwards
and bump into a figure
that is rushing down
the walkway behind you.
You see that they're wearing a black
sort of swallowtail coat
and has a mouth mask,
a sort of silvery mouth mask on,
but are rushing forward
with a Greatsword raised
towards the dais.
[Rekha gasps]
- Who are you?
- The figure regards you silently,
but it is not their turn.
Next in the order is Penny
Luckstone, Penny Duckstone.
- [Aabria] Penny Duckstone!
- [Persephone] Penny Duckstone.
- Quack quack quack.
- Quack quack, b*tches.
- [Brennan] So Penny, you can
see that you're on the chair.
Lysander's in front of you.
Zelda's charging out of
the bathrooms next to you.
- All right, I disengage
from Lysander's face.
[Brennan mimics smooching]
[players laughing]
Looking around.
- [Isabella] You get
an opportunity attack.
- Oh my God.
- Yeah, opportunity attack, little kiss.
[Becca mimics smooching]
- Smack him on the butt.
- One quick smack, I see
Antiope ahead of me, I believe.
She's just right in line of sight there.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- And I'm next to some real booger boys.
One is right around a corner
in what I think is an elevator?
- That is correct, you
see an elevator there
with a bloppelganger waiting inside it.
- Okay, so that looks like a
tempting little place to be.
What I want to do is, can I in this order,
Cunning Action hide
then burst out and move
and attack with advantage to
that bloppelganger in my way?
- You absolutely can, go ahead
and give me a stealth check.
[lively instrumental music]
- Oh. [chuckles]
Do we even need to check?
[Brennan laughs]
Okay, I rolled a two so that's a...
- [laughs] You have your...
- Hold on, do I have advantage on stealth?
I feel like I should.
- You got, Halfling, what are you?
- f*ck.
- Short boy stuff, yeah.
- Short boy.
- Wait, don't we still have
your Pass Without A Trace?
- [Becca] No.
- [Aabria] No, we do not.
- Okay, nevermind.
- Well, it's still a 16.
- Still a 16.
You absolutely attack from hiding.
These bloppelgangers are
not the most perceptive.
By the way, also, congratulations
to our Seven Maidens
for leveling up to level 10.
[triumphant music]
- Yeah!
[players cheering]
- So Penny, you leap from the chair.
Lysander looks at you and
says, "Where are you going?
Are you gonna..."
[Erika laughing]
- [Aabria] Buddy!
- Come with me if you want to live!
- Oh, I do want that and...
- He can follow, yeah.
- [Aabria] Oh my God!
- Stay behind me.
- I'm actually gonna say that Lysander
just acts on Penny's
initiative, running behind Penny
to stay as close by as possible.
- What a boy, look at him!
- So gentle.
- Can he do an unarmed strike? [chuckles]
- Yes, he absolutely can.
So Penny, go ahead and make your attack.
- Okay, come on, new die.
- You're rolling with advantage here.
- [Aabria] Hold that shoeshine brush.
- Well, so that's a 27 for the first roll.
- [Aabria] Let's go.
- And not as high, so yeah, 27 to hit.
- Definite hit.
- Okay and then a d8.
- Okay, so it's always
good to kiss in this game
'cause then you get an ally.
- It is, yeah, always kiss.
- Meet your allies.
- I mean, that's not why.
It could be why.
- I mean, it's great if you're a rogue
'cause then you have a
distraction to sneak attack with.
- That is nine piercing.
- Nine piercing damage.
Sneak attack?
- Yeah, I will sneak attack.
- Yeah, go for it.
- Okay, so I roll 5d6.
- [Brennan] 5d6.
- It's so many d6s, that's so good.
- No big deal.
[dice rattling]
- [Aabria] Kind of a big deal.
- Penny's like, such a big deal.
- Eight, 16, plus the
nine gives us 25 total.
- 25 total damage as
you rush out and strike
with your Rapier of Warning.
- I knew you were there! [laughs]
- And you take four points of acid damage.
[Rekha gasps]
- [Erika] Acid.
- [Rekha] Is that from the booger like-
- [Brennan] Just like from
the splash of striking at it.
- Can I evade that at all?
- If you want to uncanny dodge you can.
That would be burning your reaction
to avoid two points of damage.
- Not worth it, not worth it.
- Yeah.
Four points of damage to you.
Lysander will take a swing,
hits, does two points of damage
to the bloppelganger.
- Aw.
- And takes six points of
damage, looks on death's door.
- [Players] No!
- He's like, ha, punches. [screams]
- My sweet, no!
- You stupid idiot.
Why would you put your hand in it?
- I, I, I, um...
- I could have passed him a
dagger and I chose not to.
- You just started dating, I get it.
- I might need these for ranged attacks.
- You might be a widow.
- [Brennan] Amazing.
- But I kiss him and lay him gently.
- Stupid.
- He's not dead yet,
but he does fully submit to lying down.
- I cross his arms over his chest,
one of them being burned away with acid.
- [Rekha] You close his eyes.
- Please tell my family I
died for a different reason.
[players laughing]
Amazing, anything else from Penny?
- I'll move onto the
elevator hoping that...
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Yeah, do something cool there later.
- Cool, cool, cool.
- I see Zelda's nearby
and I'll just shout out
to Zelda, "This way."
- Ostentatia, that's going to be you.
- Okay. [sighs]
- You got this.
- So we cut to you on the balcony.
- [Becca] Oh gosh.
- [Brennan] Absolutely
surrounded by bloppelgangers.
- Okay.
- But if you look through,
you can actually, I believe, see the dais.
From where you are, you have line of sight
just barely past the
torchlight to Danielle
talking to Talcidimir
on the VIP dais as well.
- So can I see Tectonya?
- I believe someone
announced over the thing.
- I said.
- So yes, you know
that Tectonya has just
been found on the VIP dais.
- Okay, okay, I promise I
have been thinking about this
this whole time it's just...
- It's a lot going on.
- You have a lot of spells.
- It's a lot, you're golden.
- Is she within 60 feet of me?
- Well first of all, if
you move you can get closer
so she might not be
within 60 feet right now,
but she could become within
- Is it just tiles times five?
- It's just tiles times five, yes.
- What's 14 times five?
- [Brennan] 14 times five-
- 70!
- [Rekha] 70.
- [Brennan] 70.
- I call Cthulhu!
[Persephone laughing]
- Okay, so what I'm gonna do.
- [Erika] That was really, really cool.
- Is I'm gonna cast
Flame Strike around me.
- Okay.
- Everyone within a 10-foot radius
and a 40-foot high cylinder
has to make a dex saving throw.
- These poor dancing idiots.
- [Brennan] Amazing.
So Ostentatia, you can absolutely hit
all of the bloppelgangers,
and you can center it
off to the side so you don't
hit the innocent dancers.
- Sure.
- That's easy to do.
You will hit yourself
unless you move out of
the radius of the spell.
- He's really trying to get
that opportunity attack.
- Well, hey, if you would
rather Flame Strike yourself
and not get the opportunity attack,
you're welcome to be my guest.
- No, I'll take the opportunity attack.
And then I can just put
the spell over there.
- [Brennan] Yes, exactly.
So go ahead, your movement is 25 feet.
- I'm trying to see if fire helps.
- I was gonna say, I think,
we were kinda joking,
but like, if these are
boogers can you dry 'em out?
- Yeah, dry 'em out, man, antihistamine.
- [Isabella] Yeah, yeah.
- I got Bonfire, okay, let's go.
- Sponsored by Zyrtec,
sponsored by Claritin.
[players laughing]
- I am a walking
advertisement for Claritin.
- Okay, Dropout, Claritin.
- Amazing, yeah, Ostentatia,
you can basically walk out of the room
around the corner and-
- And can I move
within 60 feet of Tectonya
in that direction?
- Yeah, you could absolutely
get within 60 feet
of Tectonya in that direction.
- Okay.
- We're gonna roll some
attacks of opportunity here.
Three to be exact.
- Come for me.
- [Aabria] I forgot how
all of my stuff works.
I did not write flowchart for
myself, now we're doing it.
- With that 21 AC, Ostentatia,
you only get hit one time,
but you do get hit for
as one of them. [gurgles]
- You're a f*cking tank, you got this.
- And that's now going to be-
- Wait!
What about my, do I roll damage.
- Yeah, now, but I'm saying you walk,
get out of the way so
you don't burn yourself
and now you are going to Flame Strike.
So I'm gonna need Ostentatia
to roll 4d6 twice.
- Ooh.
- Ooh.
[dramatic instrumental music]
[dice rattling]
- [Erika] I bless them.
- [Isabella] 17.
- 17.
[dice rattling]
- 17.
- [Rekha] 34.
- With different numbers.
- So you do 17 radiant damage
and another 17 fire damage.
Ostentatia, normally that would be 34,
but it actually becomes
because the fire damage is doubled.
[players cheering]
- Drying out the boogies!
- But let me roll 'cause
they might have that.
That is a dexterity save.
Oh, these are not very dexterous.
[Becca laughs]
These are not very dexterous.
- Wait, you have to roll damage before we,
oh, do they get half?
- Oh my God.
- [Becca] Oh heck yeah,
I go a cantrip with fire.
- I'm gonna say this, Ostentatia
just really found the move.
These bloppelgangers have a -4
to their dexterity saving
throw and need nat 20s.
One of them literally gets a
still fails the save.
[players cheering]
So that is 51 points of
damage to all of them.
They look bad.
- Bad, okay.
- [Brennan] They look badly
injured, badly injured.
- Okay, okay.
- It's like sort of like badass
walking away from an expl*si*n.
Ostentatia walks into the
party and you just hear
the ringing of a hammer in the sky
and dropping down from the
heavens. [mimics heavy impact]
[gurgling] All of these bloppelgangers
get roasted out on the balcony.
Any bonus actions from Ostentatia?
- Um, no.
- Cool, incredible turn from Ostentatia
having discovered a vulnerability
of the bloppelgangers.
- I'm gonna wait 'cause
it's concentration.
- Gotcha.
- What you all see happen next, Danielle,
this actually is gonna
happen right in front of you.
Danielle in front of you, you
begin to see the chaos erupt.
Tectonya right in front
of you looks around
and you see is hit with a
ranged spell, not a projectile.
- Whoa!
- Something from the Enchantment School.
So in other words, you don't
get to clock a trajectory
but something from far away.
And you watch her go, [gasps for air]
and collapse into the
incapacitated condition.
- Who, who?
- [Brennan And Becca] Tectonya.
- Aw, sh*t!
- In this moment I am going
to need perception checks.
- [Persephone] Why'd I think
he was gonna say my name?
- I'm gonna need perception
checks with disadvantage
from Danielle and Sam.
And I'm gonna get just
a straight perception
check from Ostentatia.
- I seriously thought
you were saying my name
when you said, "perception."
- Perception.
- 21.
- Ooh, that's a nat one.
- That hurt, I got a nat 20 and an eight.
- [Erika] Yeah.
[player groans]
- 24, okay.
- Wait, is this insight or perception?
- No, this is perception.
- So that's an 11.
- 11.
Danielle and Sam see the
effect of that spell go off.
At the moment that happens, Ostentatia,
you see just the smallest flicker of light
down the rampart from you at
the moment that spell goes off.
Straight ahead of you along the balcony,
down the rampart you see a figure.
- [Erika] Is that a jester?
- [Rekha] Willy Wonka.
- [Persephone] This b*tch.
- So we're gonna continue
in the initiative order.
Sam, you hear the voice of
the stranger rushing past you
from the bridge as they
look at you and say,
"Not now, Dunston."
- Excuse me!
- Move you to the side,
walk up, and if you see
on the dais here they walk up
on the other side of Tectonya
from Danielle in a sort of
tuxedo, swallowtail coat.
- [Becca] Keep her safe.
- Tectonya's coughing.
Talcidimir looks up.
Tectonya turns to look at this figure.
The figure raises their Greatsword
and slashes into Tectonya
over and over and over again.
- [Aabria] Whoa!
- Can you use a reaction to protect her?
- I know, I don't have any
good reactions or anything.
- I don't think I do, either.
- Can I just retcon a little bit
and Lysander is still
holding his shoe brush?
- Yes, absolutely, yes, yes, yes.
- [Becca] Thank you, important.
- Brush?
- Thank you.
- He's a horse!
[players laughing]
- Tectonya wheels back,
falling into Talcidimir
as this masked figure, [grunts] clang,
and you see copper blood flit across.
Tectonya's still on her
feet, she's very powerful,
but this is, you're seeing that yeah,
there's bloppelgangers
around, there's chaos,
but someone other than this person
just cast a spell to
incapacitate this person
timed for this person walking
across the bridge to. [grunts]
And that is going to be their
turn, Tectonya can take-
- Is this different person than the one
that Ostentatia clocked down the way?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- That is going to be Danielle Barkstock.
- They don't want us to graduate early.
[group laughing]
- This is entirely about us.
- [Persephone] Yeah, it's gotta be.
- It's gotta be.
- All these, yeah. [laughs]
- Who else could it be?
We are teenage girls.
- Have you heard of us?
- I look over to see if there is anything
that I can do for Tectonya.
- I'm not even gonna make you roll.
There's an eighth level
spell on her right now.
And it's powerful enough,
you think it's some kind
of Power Word probably.
But it's the kind of thing where
it's not even like she's gonna get a save
at the end of every one of her turns.
She's probably down for about a minute.
It's also not a concentration spell.
It's just [snaps fingers]
like an instantaneous
one and done attack spell that
takes you out of commission
which basically, you know she's
a very powerful spellcaster.
It looks like the kind of
thing where someone's like,
this is how we take this
person out of the equation
long enough to k*ll them.
- Right.
Danielle spreads her arms
and summons woodland beings.
And at first it doesn't look
like anything has appeared
and suddenly eight pixies
blink into existence.
- [Isabella] Look how beautiful you look.
- [Becca] Right, gorgeous.
- [Rekha] It's f*cked up, it's f*cked up.
- Empress Anima, from
the little potted plants
all around here you hear
the rustling of leaves
and you see with beautiful
iridescent dragonfly wings
wearing black hoodies
with black ski masks,
cans of spray paint on their
side, little acorn bombs.
[players laughing]
- [Aabria] Yo!
- Are like a bunch of anti-fash
pixies that come roaring
out of the-
- Look at them!
- [Brennan] Incredible and-
[players gasps]
- [Isabella] What a
beautiful rack she's got.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- Rack focus though!
[players laughing]
- Amazing, you summon these pixies.
They are welcome to act.
What do they do on your turn?
- Question, what level is Talcidimir?
- You would probably suspect
that Talcidimir is not like-
- Not that-
- Not that tough.
- Powerful, okay.
Danielle says, "Dear host,
make yourself useful."
And one of the fairies goes,
boop and turns him into an ape.
- Okay, so now there's eight.
[players laughing]
There are now eight allied
spellcasters on the field.
[Erika laughing]
[players laughing]
- Oh yeah.
- Oh no...
- She does it again.
- Hi, Brennan.
- Okay, so Erika decided
that it would be good to have
eight wizards helping you.
- She woke up and chose violence!
- Chose violence, chose wonder
and whimsy and violence.
- [Rekha] Yeah, Erika woke up
and chose one direction, Brennan.
- So like sprinkling a little.
[chimes twinkling]
[giggles] Hi, Danielle,
good to see you again!
- Oh, good greetings, Starchild.
- Oh, good greetings, Starchild.
So what's the story?
Are we gonna f*ck all these people up?
- Oh, let's get 'em.
- Incredible.
Okay, so go ahead and
let me know the spells
that they are casting, what
they are doing, et cetera.
- Okay so-
- Each of them gets to cast spells.
[players laughing]
- Brennan of all people
should have seen this coming.
Aabria knows why.
- Yep!
- So one of them does Polymorph
on Talcidimir, ape form.
One of them does Phantasmal
Force on the candles
and makes them imagine.
They're going to have
to do a save to believe
that the room is not on fire.
- f*ck yes.
- So do you have all eight
of their spells planned
'cause we'll resolve them
one by one as we go through.
- Okay, yeah, so Polymorph
ape, Phantasmal Force
to make it seem like the room is on fire.
Confusion.
- Cool.
- Entangle.
- Her desk...
- It's amazing.
- [Aabria] Have you
ever played "Diplomacy"?
- What?
- Have you ever played,
there's a game called "Diplomacy"
where you write out your orders
for World w*r I, it's this.
- Have I ever mentioned how beautiful
and attractive you are?
- Literally everyone should be
lining up to date Erika now.
- [Aabria] You'll have to fight.
- Call me!
And fly on anybody who is willing-
- Me!
- In range.
- Oh...
- Yeah.
- 120 or 60?
- 60 I want to say.
- [Persephone] I'm nearby.
- So here's the problem,
fly has a range of touch
so any pixies that you're gonna-
- Some of them, yeah.
- [Brennan] Some of them can
depart and go after people
if you want to send
them to go after people.
- Yeah.
- [Becca] Oh, fly please.
- And is anyone gonna
cast fly on you, Danielle?
- I actually already have fly.
- No, concentration broke
because I cast another spell.
- Concentration broke.
- You can take it, mine won't get there.
- Yeah, I have extra, I got one more.
Okay, so that's five
fly, five, six, seven.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- [Aabria] Five for fly.
- And then use one Poly one.
- Phantasmal Force.
- Phantasmal Force.
Oh, and one Entangle.
- List is Katja, Danielle,
Antiope, and Ostentatia.
- Wait, if everybody's flying,
can that Entangle one come for me?
Don't worry about it, it's fine.
- Yeah.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- I think she wants to
be poked by a pixie.
- [Erika] Yeah, so now more Entangle.
- So in this round, for people to know,
only Katja and Danielle get it this round.
Ostentatia and Antiope, you
see a pixie coming for you
with the spell at their
fingertips, but are too far away.
So they get far away from the b*ttlefield.
So Danielle and Katja,
you got the fly active.
- [Rekha] Thank you.
- What do the other three do?
- So one casts Polymorph onto Talcidimir.
- Talcidimir.
- And turns him into an ape.
But the ape still has his
like, you know, trappings.
He still gets to wear his
suit, it's just ape-sized.
- Ew!
[players laughing]
- I don't like that.
- That thing is not doing it any favors.
- That's a f*cking bear.
- You see the pixie goes. [giggles]
And you see he turns
into this massive gorilla
wearing a suit with a
jetpack who goes, [laughs]
"I love it, look at me, I
always liked monkeying around.
Many of my guests have died!"
[players laughing]
You see that the pixie goes, [giggles]
"when we're done can we k*ll this guy?"
[Erika mumbles]
Okay, eat the f*cking
rich, mm, I'm hungry.
- [Aabria] Let's go.
- I want to make out with the pixie.
- Friends, tonight we feast.
- [Brennan] Amazing, okay.
- Oh my gosh!
- So the three spells we've
got there are gonna be ape,
Phantasmal, and Confusion, right?
- Yes.
- Cool.
Ape spell goes off without
a hitch, Polymorph.
For Phantasmal and Confusion,
Confusion we gotta pick a,
the spell, so each creature
in a 10 foot radius sphere.
Gotta let me know where
that sphere's gonna be.
And for Phantasmal Force,
you're gonna pick a target,
like who the creature is.
- [Erika] Okay, let's
do those, hit those two.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- And then the...
- Greatsword wielder.
- The Greatsword wielder
gets Phantasmal Force.
- Okay, great, so let's resolve this.
[Erika sighs]
Here we go.
- Epic.
- This is a wisdom save.
- I hope they're stupid!
[Aabria laughs]
- They are, one rolls
an 18 and still fails.
[Erika laughs]
- [Aabria] Amazing.
- And then we're gonna roll
a save here for Phantasmal.
Both spells work, both of the
bloppelgangers look confused.
And you watch as the sword
wielder looks to the table
and reacts as though fire has
ripped across all of the dais.
[Becca laughs]
- Let's go.
- [Brennan] Amazing.
- [Persephone] Let's go.
- And then Danielle flies up out of range.
- Fly speed is 60, do you
want to go 60 feet straight up
or do you want to go a
smaller amount of feet?
- A smaller amount.
- Okay.
- Let's say 30.
- As the fly spell works
on you, Danielle, your iridescent
wings are actually what's,
so you are raised up, glowing with green
and silvery motes of light.
- Yes.
- [Brennan] You could
honestly touch the chandelier,
one of the high chandeliers.
- You see Anima's thumbs-up float by.
[Erika laughing]
- Have we met these
anti-fascist pixies before?
- I imagine they party with us.
- I feel like yeah, we all hang.
- Sweet, I just give a fist
bump like, let's get it.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- You look nice.
- So those pixies, holy sh*t. [applauds]
[players cheering]
Empress Anima you, boom.
You see that as they're
flying like, haha, magic!
[mimics spray paint
hissing] Like tagging sh*t
as they fly down.
- Hell yeah.
- Actually, when they cast magic
you all are tagged with
glittery spray paint
that smells like fruit and candy.
[players laughing]
- I love that.
- Can one of them be Banksy?
[Brennan laughing]
- Please, please.
- [Aabria] Banksy, let's go.
- Oh please, Brennan,
let a pixie be Banksy.
- And as a bonus action I'm going to-
[players laughing]
- I'll head out, I'll go home.
I mean...
[players laughing]
- As a bonus action, get the f*ck out.
- As a bonus action Danielle
summons the Spirit of the Bear.
- [Aabria] Yes!
- The spirit and might
of all the tiny little creatures
that disproportionately punch
above their weight class
and everybody gets 15 temporary HP.
- In a certain radius.
- [Becca] Yeah, I was gonna say,
I think I'm out of your range.
- In a 30-foot radius
which is, I want it to be
including the pixies in our area.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- So Danielle has flown out of the area,
but it's gonna appear where-
- So putting it in the center of the dais.
Let's see who you can hit, okay, cool.
- Does it miss me?
- Oh!
- [Erika] I think it hits.
- No, you know what?
You can just barely get Katja and Sam.
- Cool.
- [Erika] Yes.
- They're just about 60 feet apart,
but it does not get Antiope,
Penny, or Ostentatia.
- I don't know if it gets me
'cause I said I was 30 feet up.
- Yeah, you can structure your turn
to do it and then bounce, for sure.
- Wait, can it go to Tectonya, too?
- Yeah, Tectonya, if you want.
- [Erika] If I choose.
- If you want to choose.
Do you want Tectonya and
Talcidimir included as allies?
- Okay, yeah.
- I'll assume the Lady Coeliabranca
you're including in that as well 'cause-
- [Aabria] We like her.
- Yes.
- [Brennan] Cause we like her.
- Yeah.
- 'Cause she's got a fun vibe.
- She has a very gentle voice,
very seductive, we like.
- She had to do a hard thing,
but did it in a really nice way
that didn't make me feel bad
that we didn't get to know.
- She's definitely social savvy.
- [Brennan] How many hit
points is that, Danielle?
- That is 15.
- So Katja, Sam, Danielle,
Tectonya, Talcidimir,
Coeliabranca, and the pixies
on the dais all get [snaps
fingers] 15 temporary HP.
[Rekha cheers]
- I throw Lysander towards it.
[Erika laughing]
- So you see like,
the Empress Anima, these pixies, boom,
you summon them from the plants.
You rise up on your wings as
one of the pixies casts this.
Spells are flying everywhere.
And as you rise up, underneath
you this spectral image
not of some strange
divine or celestial light
but a thrumming in the
wind golden dust and dirt
rising up from the plants.
It literally looks like
swirls of dirt and earth
from the potted plants
create just the lined outline
of a roaring bear lifting
you up towards the chandelier
as you fly.
- Shut up!
- [growls] And as that happens,
you see a lot of the pieces
of finery in here shatter and break
as roots come through the
building like. [roars]
- Katja rolls her eyes.
- I lift up Lysander's eyelids
and I turn his head towards it and I say,
"that's my friend" because I just rolled
my own little perception
and I got a nat 20
so I'm just gonna say I saw.
- Ooh, that's a good idea.
- Bow before Empress Anima.
- [Brennan] Bow before
Empress Anima, amazing.
- [Isabella] Look at her!
- [Aabria] I can't see it but I heard it.
- You also just decaquintupled
all of the hit points totals
of these pixies that
normally have one hit point
and now all have 16 hit points.
- Oh yeah.
[Becca laughing]
- Way tougher than a lot
of the guards here now.
- Oh no!
[players laughing]
- [Rekha] Hell yeah.
- Oh, you broke the game
in a good way.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- Danielle is so badass I can't, I can't.
- [Becca] So baller.
- It's just like, vibin'.
- It's not vibing.
You have to take credit
for what you've done.
- Oh, that's right, I'm gonna
roll around in the compliment.
- Roll!
- Roll in the compliment.
- [Persephone] Roll
around in the compliment.
- I created the vibe
and I put you all in it.
[Erika laughing]
- My vibe.
- I know what y'all thought this game was,
but I came here to watch Erika eat.
- Yeah, mm.
[players laughing]
- Now this is visible to pretty much,
I actually think anyone
in this space can see it.
From the northwest corner of the hall,
streaking across the higher level,
it's hard to tell that it's fire at first
because it's producing so much oily smoke.
It's like, [mimics fire roaring]
a fire bolt streaks across
and hits Tectonya in her back, boom,
for what looks like a
significant amount of damage.
- How is she looking?
- What did she even do?
- And where the f*ck
is it all coming from?
Is there another-
- I'm gonna say Ostentatia,
you see that jester move 10 feet.
- Jester Flop.
[group laughing]
- Move 10 feet and release a fire bolt
from their hand that streaks across,
[energy reverberating]
hitting Tectonya.
That's gonna be Zelda's turn.
- But Brennan, I also forgot
because of Mighty Summoner,
the pixies have, I think,
it's like two extra hit points
per hit die that they have.
- Lay him to rest.
- Oh.
- You can die.
- Down.
- So that's going to be, it's
per hit die that they have,
correct?
- That they have, yes.
- Cool, can we bump all of those pixies
to actually have three hit points
in addition to the 15
temporary hit points?
Thank you very much, TaleSpire.
- This is so beautiful.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- Wow.
- I'm just...
Erika, I love you, just.
- Okay, Zelda sees the
bloppelganger in the elevator, says,
"Penny, I got you!" [growls intensely]
And rushes forward, bonus
action goes into a rage,
is going to attack twice.
- Oh.
- That's a nat 20.
[players cheering]
- Let's go, Zeldy!
- [Brennan] Hell yes.
- Madam Goodparty.
- Madam Goodparty.
- Madam Goodparty!
- Ew, look at all these things.
- Zelda deals 16 points of
damage to the bloppelganger.
[mimics blows landing]
And is also going to use
her object interaction to hit
the switch on the elevator
and move you up to-
- There was a switch?
- [Brennan] Uh-huh.
- [laughs] You're just waiting.
- Hello?
[group laughing]
- And that elevator is going
to move up to the top floor.
Katja, that's going to be you.
- So Katja would turn behind her
and try to get those two bloppelgangers
that are behind these two men,
but she senses something in the air.
[Aabria chuckles]
She smells a familiar perfume.
- Oh!
- That sends her into a f*cking rage.
[players shouting]
- Baby's first rage!
- Oh my God, but not her last.
- This is her barbarian puberty happening
right before our eyes.
- Level up, level up,
level up, level up, level up.
- Level up.
- We're gonna get YMCA'd, don't do that.
- As Katja smells her f*cking mother.
- [Aabria] Yeah!
[players cheering]
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- Yeah.
- You feel [growls] something.
You are now flying,
you have a speed of 90.
- Cool.
- [Aabria] Oh my God!
- On my way to this b*tch, can I swing
one of these candelabras
into my hand, can I grab one?
- You can grab a candelabra.
- And can I drop a candle
onto these crapplegangers?
- Crapplegangers.
- [Rekha] Near the tables.
- That's just mean.
- Is that a roll that I
would need to check out?
- If you just want, I will let
you as an object interaction
toss a candelabra onto the table.
- Oh, onto the, can I
not hit these two guys?
- If you want to make attacks,
they gotta count as attacks.
- Okay, copy, okay, hmm...
If I drop it onto the
table is there something
where there is a chance it
rolls off and hits them?
Like what are we saying
if I drop it on the table?
- I will let you kick a candelabra over
as an object interaction.
- Okay.
- And it will over time
set the table on fire.
If you want to do immediate
and substantial damage
to something, it's gotta take an attack.
- I'll take an attack and do that.
- Cool, which one do you want to go for?
Do you want to go for
these confused ones here,
or do you want to go for
the big one the table?
- This is a monster on the table?
I thought it was a bowl of apples.
- [Becca] No, keep going.
[players laughing]
- Oh!
- [Brennan] There you go, there you go.
- Please-
- [Isabella] Layers.
- Please give me a good edit, okay.
[Aabria laughing]
Incredible.
I'll take this stupid thing on the table.
- Okay, great, go ahead
and roll an attack roll
like you're rolling with your great ax.
- [Rekha] Great.
- It's not something delicious
like a bowl of onions.
- Yeah, I thought it was a big
bowl of onions or whatever.
Okay, so 19 plus 10, 29.
- That's definite hit.
Go ahead, normally this
would only be 1d6 damage,
but because we know that
these things are hurt by fire,
you're gonna roll 2d6 plus your strength.
- Two plus four, six plus my strength.
Six plus nine, 15.
- Oh sorry, that's your saving throw.
- [Rekha] Oh, sorry, sorry, my strength.
- So this would be 11
but you're also raging
so it's actually 13.
- Okay, yes, okay.
- So all of you see Katja
streak across the room,
whip this candelabra and go [roars]
and for 13 points of damage plunge it
into the center of one
of the bloppelgangers.
bloppelganger on the table.
You have more movement left and
another attack left as well.
- I will take that second attack.
- Against the bloppelganger?
- [Rekha] Yeah.
- Okay, amazing, go ahead
and roll your second attack.
- Okay, that is nine plus 10.
[dramatic instrumental music]
- 19, definitely hits.
- Okay, so then same 2d6?
- It's gonna be, yeah, 2d6 plus seven.
- This is c*ck, do I roll again?
- Yeah, reroll.
- Both of 'em?
- Just the one that's c*ck.
- Sorry b*tch, it got higher.
[Brennan laughing]
Okay, eight plus seven so 15.
- And 15 damage. [grunts]
[gurgling] this thing is
screaming and shouting
looking injured but still very much up
and competent and doing stuff.
- Okay.
- That is your bonus action
and your rage, your action.
You have other movement
left, but you've also gotten
within striking distance of this thing.
Do you want to stay engaged with this
or move away from it and take
an attack of opportunity?
- I'll stay engaged with this.
She is in such a rage she is
being dead-a*s eye contact
with her mom while in the
foreground just f*cking.
- So first of all, as
Katja moves to the dais,
you see that the masked
figure with the sword,
dressed in a suit, but even
in that tuxedo swallowtails
coat, silver mask, hair up in a bun,
looks at you and makes eye contact.
Is seeing a teenage Katja
for the very first time,
but a look of recognition dawns
on the Greatsword-wielding warrior
currently attacking Tectonya.
[Erika gasps]
You notice in your eye contact
after that look of recognition,
her eyes very fluidly break
away to continue her work.
- [gasps] Typical.
- f*cking monster.
- Oh my God.
[group laughing]
- Can't stop leaving.
- Even her eye contact doesn't stay.
[players laughing]
- Found it.
- At the end of Katja's
turn, the jester figure
walking the ramparts towards Ostentatia
moves another 10 feet,
fires off another fire bolt.
- This ugly-a*s b*tch.
- Talcidimir looks at
all of this and goes.
[laughs confidently] "Evasive maneuvers!"
And leaps from the balcony,
activates his jetpack
and just flies off into the
air as a monkey in a suit.
[Rekha laughing]
- Idiot.
- A la Paul F. Tompkins?
Paul F. Tompkins is the host of this?
- Paul F. Tompkins, yes.
In the television adaptation,
Talcidimir is played by Paul F. Tompkins.
[players laughing]
- Oh, he'll do it.
- Danielle and one of the
Kevins look at each other
and Kevin goes, "In the
glorious revolution,
he shall feed a whole family."
[group laughing]
- One of the Kevins.
- And one of our families is 600 pixies.
- Yeah.
- I am going to need Ostentatia
to make a couple saving throws for me.
- Sure.
- I'm gonna need you
to make four dexterity saving throws.
[sinister music]
[dice rattling]
- 10, 16, four, four.
- 10, 16, four, and four, okay.
- It's a hair bump for me.
- Does it get advantage?
- Does it help?
[players laughing]
- Ostentatia, the bloppelganger
immediately behind you
reaches out, you feel
ooze-like tentacles [slurps]
grab around your legs and you are pulled
into the body of the bloppelganger.
- [Rekha] Oh.
- No!
- And you take 24 points of
acid damage and engulfed by-
- [Persephone] Oh God!
- [Rekha] Ew!
- You cannot breathe, you are restrained.
Restrained means that your speed is zero.
You have disadvantage on
dexterity saving throws.
- What day is it, Thursday?
- [Persephone] Uh-oh.
[Rekha chuckles]
- I'm gonna need three dexterity
saving throws from Sam.
- Love that, love that for me.
Just so you know, I have
resistance to acid damage.
- Okay, great.
- Hell yeah, we love to see it.
- [Aabria] All of those little boogers
smell like Axe body spray.
[dramatic instrumental music]
- Oh no.
- Okay, that is, oh God.
Okay, so let's start with
the high one, that is a 13.
- 13's the high one?
- Yep and then a 10 and a six.
- [Brennan] You are engulfed
by one of the bloppelgangers.
- [Persephone] Ooh.
- [Isabella] No!
- You are gonna go ahead
and take 12, 18, 24
halved to 12 acid damage.
- Thank God for...
- And are engulfed. [gurgles]
- Ugh, sticky, ugh.
- Yes, not great.
Interesting thing, Katja,
because you are in the air,
they actually cannot move
into your space to engulf you,
so they are just going to attack you.
- Yeah, good luck.
- That's a nat 20.
[players shouting]
- I wished you good luck!
- Why did you wish good luck?
- I wished you good luck!
- Never poke a lich.
- [Becca] That's what gave it to him!
- I mean, ugh.
- That's the hardest I've ever worked
to hold a full f*cking spit
take inside of my body.
- Uh, your funeral, nat 20. [laughs]
♪ Total party k*ll, we're
done at episode seven ♪
[players laughing]
- Hey, Katja.
- What?
- You take 43 points of acid damage.
- No problem!
- [grunts] As you are covered in acid.
Michel and Sean are gonna
take full dash actions
to get away from the blobs
coming up the bridge behind them.
- Yes please, keep them safe.
- Are they still charmed?
Why aren't they helping me?
- Yeah, f*cking help.
- They're running away
from the f*cking horrifying acid boogers.
- Run towards me!
- Okay, yeah,
we all want to run away
from the acid boogers!
- Sacrifice yourselves because
I have CHANEL earrings on.
- [Persephone] It makes sense.
- Yes!
- [Brennan] So Antiope,
you see these slow-a*s
bloppelgangers, a band.
This noble over here just f*cking books it
and runs all the way away.
- Coward.
- Bye, noble seven.
- Coward.
- You were hot until you ran.
- I'm fine with that, too.
My standards are very low.
I'm still holding a shirt
like, [sniff] I sniff you.
- But you see the
bloppelgangers who, again,
are nowhere near as fast as you running,
but surging towards you.
None there interact with you.
- No!
- And then we have the
one in the elevator.
Give me a dexterity saving throw, Penny.
- [sighs] Okay.
[die drops on table]
- Why are you stressed by
that and yet you are a rogue?
- 24.
[players laughing]
- It lunges at you and
you skid underneath it.
You have to choose another place
in the elevator to go to though.
You end up actually just
swapping places with this thing.
It lunges forward and you
skid under its pseudopods.
- Are we dancing now?
[group laughing]
- [claps hands] Penny, k*ller!
- I make out with the booger.
- Make out with the boog.
- Could be cool.
- Don't test me.
- [Aabria] So cool.
- It's still higher standards
than what you have kissed in the past.
- Excuse me, I think we liked Lysander.
- Except for Lysander.
- [Erika] Lysander was cute.
- Lysander is actually
my first kiss everyone.
- [Players] Aw.
- Cute.
- That's so sweet.
- All f*cking dying.
- I know!
Thank God we have these shard mirrors.
- That's right, oh my God.
- Congrats congrats. [gurgles]
- Guys, I did it!
- As the elevator goes
like bing, "third floor,"
from a little alchemical voice box,
another bloppelganger is
waiting that lunges at Zelda,
and she, [shouts] advantage
on dexterity saves
as a barbarian, slides
away from it as well.
The Penny Zelda squad is pretty
stacked on dexterity saves
which is what these bloppelgangers
are throwing at people.
- That's right.
- I forgot that two of
these dudes were confused.
We may need to, we have to
run confusion for two of them.
- Which ones are confused?
- The two of them that attacked Katja.
- Oh, oh!
- [Persephone] Oh, that'd be great.
- Oh, oh, 43 hit points. [babbles]
Watch you nat 20 again.
- No!
- f*ck me.
- Katja, all of them hit you.
- Yeah, okay, whatever.
- But how much damage did you take?
You took 40-
- 43.
- You get back 28 hit
points worth of healing
so add 28 hit points back
as you see two of them
are confused and cannot
take movements or actions
as the sort of pixie magic. [gurgles]
Just like lashing out around.
That is now going to be Antiope
at the start of the next round.
- Can I see the bad caster?
- What bad caster are you looking for?
- The jester that's
been lighting people up
on the second floor.
Is there a way I can spy
that from the first floor?
'Cause there's the strong
balcony situation happening.
- [Brennan] Oh sh*t, he has 3/4 cover
so his AC will be very, very high.
- Kevin?
- But you see the jester.
- I can see him?
- You can see the top of this
jangling hat moving along.
- And I saw the greasy
path on the map there.
- Yeah, you saw the greasy path.
- So I can put that together.
- So you're looking up
at that tall balcony
and there's these little
moments as he steps forward
and blasts out a fire bolt so
you have these tiny chances.
But yeah, you can see him.
- Cheesy question, am I hidden from him?
Would that give me advantage on my attack?
- You did not take any steps
on the previous turn to hide
so you are not hidden.
- That's fair.
Okay, don't care.
Boots of Striding and
Springing, I'm going to leap
straight up into the air.
I know it's not gonna change the AC
but I don't care 'cause
I have sharpsh**ter.
So I'm gonna hit him with Slayer's Prey.
And that mirror arrow I was pulling out
for the little boogers is
going straight to this jester
and we're gonna light
his a*s up from here.
- Oh my God.
With the Kicks of Striding and Springing,
you launch 18 feet
straight up into the air.
- Is that the official name?
- The Kicks of Striding and Springing!
- [Persephone] That's what they are, yes!
- Do you see, I lift
up my dress and you see
the most ridiculous
neon-colored orange and green.
Do you say Nike, is that
not allowed? [laughs]
- [Becca] Orange and green?
- Yeah, they are bright
orange, bright green
like fresh to f*cking death.
- You leap straight up.
I forgot your sharpsh**ter cover.
- Ignores cover.
- Ignores cover, incredible.
Okay, you take one of
your mirror arrows out.
And bonus action Slayer's Prey
so that's adding a d6 to the damage.
Go ahead and make your attack roll.
- You get to ignore cover, stupid idiot.
- [Brennan] Are you
doing any minusy stuff?
- I'm doing sharpsh**ter so
that's my -5 for sharpsh**ter.
- [Brennan] -5 for sharpsh**ter.
- I'll connect the first
time and make sure.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- 'Cause I don't know
what this dude's DC is,
and I'm afraid to put
both of them on there.
Dirty 20 to hit.
- Okay.
We are going to need Box of Doom.
[Persephone cheers]
[Erika gasps]
- Box of Doom, Box of Doom!
- The Seven Maidens are
very much holding your own,
but you can see the amount of damage
that these bloppelgangers are putting out,
and that this situation is not tenable.
You see the bloppelgangers rushing you,
see that jangling hat,
smell something on the air,
leap straight up as he
goes to the balustrade,
so you get just a little edge of his mask
which is all the opening you need.
[player gasping]
- Did not expect it.
- You are hoping for a low roll here.
[dramatic instrumental music]
- [Aabria] Guys.
- [Erika] Low roll.
- [Aabria] That's the
deal, now remember me!
- You got a dirty 20 on your first attack?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
You are gonna have another
attack in a moment.
Are you doing any stuff
to this first attack?
You took sharpsh**ter,
anything else happening to it?
- If it hits, then yeah,
I'm gonna start putting
some arcane shots on it.
- I wanna doublecheck.
I'm gonna be a little nasty.
- Nah, do it.
- [Brennan] A little nasty man.
- I am trying, I spent the first round-
- [Isabella] Be a little nasty man.
- [Persephone] Nasty boy.
- [Brennan] I'm a dirty, nasty boy.
- Brennan remember-
- Naughty, naughty.
I was nice on the first round of combat.
- [Isabella] You're always
being a little, nasty man.
- Just remember that.
- I remember you.
- I'm not Erika.
- I need a little nasty man,
not a little nasty boy.
- Nasty boy.
- You decide to use the option
when the arrow hits a creature.
- Yeah.
- [Brennan] That is the wording.
- [Rekha] What this man
says to you in the morning
when you wake up.
- Public defender.
Pro bono rules lawyer Aabria Iyengar.
[players screaming]
We love it, we absolutely love it.
So before you have to waste
any of your resources on it,
your arrow shoots forward.
Your aim is true, your
accuracy unparalleled
which is why you effortlessly destroy
one of the mirror images of
the creature. [snaps fingers]
- Oh.
[players gasping]
- f*ck!
- [Persephone] Beautiful.
- So you have another attack
and you have gotten this being's attention
which now sees somebody's
paying attention to it.
- Can I just, as that happened,
is there any perception check I can make
to see what squared on me when
I destroyed its mirror image
to know where to turn and
sh**t the second arrow?
- The mirror image spell
you know are clustered,
reflected images on the same square
so you're hitting the right square.
- Oh, got it, okay.
- It's basically just
whether he gets a chance.
He's rolling to put a duplicate
in front of your arrow basically.
- Okay, cool, cool, cool,
then let's do it again.
- But I also know that,
free knowledge as a ranger,
every duplicate you destroy means
he has less to throw in front of you
so the spell gets weaker as you hit.
- Okay, second one, f*ck it,
I'm gonna use a trick shot in there, too.
Let's go restraining.
I'll take another -5 so
I'm taking a -10 to hit
in order to try to destroy this kid.
- Okay, you're taking a -10 to hit
to try to pin the jester to the wall.
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- Go ahead and roll your attack.
- Come on.
[player yelps]
Natural 20.
[players screaming]
- [Persephone] f*ck yes.
[fan flapping open]
- Don't even tempt me.
- You're so good!
[players cheering]
- You're making him sweat!
This little, nasty man's sweating!
- This little nasty man, little-
- [Aabria] You're so nasty, man.
- Nasty, nasty man.
- Get the little nasty, nasty-
- Now, now, I'm going
to be purely cruel here
which is the fact that,
first of all if you hit,
not only will you be able to restrain,
you'll also be able to throw
another ability on there
because of the Dragon Slayer.
[Erika gasps]
however, there is a chance
that you did not just hit this person
but hit one of the duplicates.
- God, that's true.
- Okay, but that would
be stupid storywise.
[players laughing]
- [Brennan] With two duplicates.
- So take that into decisions-
- You gotta reward the 20!
- On an eight or higher
this hits a duplicate.
- Oh my God.
- [Persephone] Oh my God, come on.
- No.
- But a nat 20.
Disadvantage.
- Yeah, disadvantage.
- What?
[players screaming]
- Oh my God, we bullied him into it!
- Go Penny, f*ck yes.
- So he's gonna roll with disadvantage
'cause a nat 20 is a nat 20
and you have to honor a nat 20.
- Thank you.
[tense instrumental music]
- That's a 19 and a 16.
- f*ck!
- You hit another duplicate.
Two of the duplicates of
mirror image are gone.
- Action surge!
[Brennan laughing]
[players screaming]
- Oh my God!
- How many can there be?
- Stop.
- When you click on
Antiope's thing to go see her
where she is, you are
in the middle of the air
looking at a goddess.
- You look beautiful.
- You look beautiful, yeah.
Your are firing four arrows
in the middle of a leap
straight up into the air.
- Look at the boots!
They made the boots what you said.
- Okay, action surge,
we got two more attacks.
- Yeah, we're doing it again.
- [Persephone] Come on Aabria.
- [Isabella] Oh my Lord.
- Oh God that's gonna be so bad.
Is a 17 to hit.
- A 17 to hit
even with all those minuses is going to,
hold on one second g*ng.
- Boing.
- Boingy, boingy.
- Boing. [laughs]
- I feel like-
- [Isabella] Boing.
- Bling, bing bam right in the face.
- Bling bing, we're gonna roll again.
Now we are rolling with only one left.
We're gonna roll, again, this is gonna be,
'cause this is enough
to hit a mirror image.
- Okay.
- With a 17.
hitting the last duplicate.
[dramatic instrumental music]
[die taps Box of Doom]
Unfortunately that is a 10 which means
that you hit the actual jester or would
if he did not cast shield.
- Amazing.
I scream and use my last attack.
- Go for it.
- I will hit him.
- Go for it, now are you taking
any minuses to this attack?
You're doing sharpsh**ter?
- Yeah, I've been going at -10.
I don't care, I want to hit him.
- Cool, cool, cool, cool.
- Get him!
- [gasps] 19 on the die, 21 to hit.
[player gasping]
- 21 to hit, we're gonna roll
to see if it's mirror image or not.
- How many mirror images?
- Well, you didn't hit a
duplicate on the last one
which is why he was able to shield.
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- Stupid, he looks dumb.
- He looks dumb.
- You connect with the shield spell again.
- Yeah.
- You hit him again.
Two shield spells, you think these big,
- 10 to the attack is a lot.
- Yeah.
- You fire off all these arrows,
but you have nailed two of
the mirror image duplicates,
fully have this entity's attention.
Antiope, you leap straight up into the air
and you have Slayer's Prey.
- I'm moving towards him now.
- [Brennan] Cool, I'm-
- What about your pixie?
- Yeah, Kevin.
- Yeah, what do I-
- You can still bound up the
stairs and be within 30 feet.
- I'd just be like, "Kevin, come here."
- Yeah, I'm gonna say that
Antiope is going to be right here
like you leap to the top
of the stairs basically
as you fire off those arrows
and are now back on the ground.
This is gonna move from
Antiope to become Sam's turn.
- Okay, so I don't know what I
have to do for restraint yet,
but I have to roll for my concentration.
- [Brennan] Yes.
- I forgot to do it when it happened.
- [Brennan] Cool, cool, cool.
[tense instrumental music]
- That is a 20, not nat.
- You definitely succeed
on the concentration.
- Okay, so I'm still the douchebag.
All right, so I'm restrained.
I can use my action to break it or?
- So basically what the deal is this.
On a failed save, yeah, you
can't breathe, are restrained.
An engulfed creature can try
to escape by taking an action.
You can use shenanigans, but
the most straightforward way
to escape is just to make a
strength check to get out.
- Could I carve myself
out with a new spell?
- What's the new spell?
- Eldritch Blast.
- Oh sh*t, here's the thing,
you are absolutely free.
Restrained just means that your speed
is what's affected right now.
You can absolutely cast
spells from within this.
- I'm gonna use a bonus action to cast Hex
on the thing that I am inside of.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- And I am going to cast
that on its strength check
so I can try and use
an action to break it.
- Ooh, amazing, so it's
gonna have disadvantage
which I think in this
context is going to give you
advantage on your strength saving throw.
- Yeah, and basically Sam
is like choking on goo,
essentially.
- Oh my God.
- And then reaches deep
down inside of herself
and this black energy starts
to form around her eyes
and she just curses this f*cking thing.
- You all feel a whisper
of cold wind in this place
and smell and feel this
presence of a cold autumn wind,
[mimics wind howling] as
Sam calls on something
very ancient and powerful,
not unlike Danielle
calling on the power of the Empress Anima.
Sam, go ahead and give me
a strength saving throw with advantage.
- Oh wait, I had advantage already
because of the Bear Spirit, oh, whatever.
- Maybe we could have this, you know what?
I'm going to drop the
DC of this to just 12.
- Okay.
- [Brennan] Okay?
[dramatic instrumental music]
- Nope.
- Brutal.
[Erika whisper screams]
You feel yourself trying
to pull out of this thing.
It is cursed and hexed in this moment
as you are trying to
remove yourself from it.
That is your bonus action and your action.
- Yep.
- You are restrained.
- Yep, I can do nothing.
- Sam is in a lot of trouble.
Penny, that's gonna be you.
- [gasps] I am in the elevator.
So I'm now on the level of the dais.
- Yes.
- Wow, do I ditch Lysander,
take my Cunning Action to
disengage and start running?
Where's my Kevin, where's my Kevin at?
Is my Kevin gonna find me?
- I don't know what this means.
- The pixie.
- Our pixies are named Kevin-
- Every one of them is named
Kevin, why is this confusing?
- Why is it Kevin?
- Where my Kev at?
- Kevin is a little bit
a ways away from you.
- Okay, will my Kevin find
me later on Kevin's turn?
- Bring back my-
- Kevin.
[players laughing]
- Will your Kevin find you?
- [Persephone] Bring back my Kev.
- Yeah, your Kevin is
going straight for you.
- [Persephone] Bring back my Kev.
- And will do its best to
find you whensoever it can.
- Okay, the one that came for me
and I dodged out of its way,
is that the one in the back
standing by Lysander there?
- Yes.
- So the one is engaged with me
and the other is engaged with Zelda?
- They are, yeah, generally,
but also they're just monsters.
They'll eat whatever's here.
- Mm, that's nice.
- [chuckles] Big mood.
- Big mood, right, I get it, right?
We've all been there.
- [Persephone] Yeah.
- So let me just, I'm
gonna create a bonfire
on this ugly thing's face.
- Let's go.
[Rekha laughing]
- And it needs to make a dex saving throw
or take some fire damage.
- Okay.
[die taps table]
- [Aabria] Great.
- Smart.
- It's a nat 20.
- Oh no.
- Okay, what if you k*ll
all of us in this battle?
You'll feel bad.
- Yeah.
- [Aabria] He wouldn't
- Hm, no.
- Oh no!
- Okay, okay, monster.
- [Persephone] Wow, wow.
- We know who the true booger is.
- Yeah.
- [Aabria] You are the true booger.
- The truest booger.
- I am the-
- [Rekha] A true booger.
- High lord of boogers.
- Okay, F this, I'm going
to use my cunning action
to disengage and just start
dashing towards the dais.
- Amazing, so that's
gonna be your movement.
Your movement plus a bonus
action dash is 50 feet.
- Now, I'd love to grab Lysander
and pull him along with me,
but I don't think that's how-
- He acts on your turn,
and he's going to run after you,
and he's not taking an attack
so he's just gonna bounce on out of here.
But the creature is going
to get a little attack of,
no actually if you want, you can take
the attacks of opportunity
for Lysander if you wish.
- Oh my God, do you love him that much?
- Can I rules lawyer?
This is upsetting.
- I actually will not-
- [Aabria] Could he
have taken a disengage?
- Good, don't be crazy, you just met!
- He can take a disengage,
but if he takes disengage
he won't be able to move far enough
to get away from where they can catch him.
- [Aabria] [groans] I tried,
but it didn't do the job.
- Okay, well, I want him
to take the disengage
and go as far as he can
which would only be 30 feet?
- [Brennan] Oh yeah, he can
take disengage and go 25 feet.
- Okay, and then I will
leave him behind there.
And I will go as far as I can.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- I think that's okay,
you only just met, so.
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- Cool, Lysander goes-
- I'm gonna hop up and kiss
Zelda on the cheek as I pass.
- Aw.
- And then you go ahead.
- You're doing great.
- And you move a full 50 feet,
sprinting down the walk,
amazing, that is Penny's turn.
Jester is going to move-
- [Isabella] Jester a*s.
- My m*therf*cker?
- Your m*therf*cker is going
to move another 10 feet.
- [Isabella] He's disgusting.
- And this time
he's gonna hit, gonna go for you.
- [Isabella] He's disgusting.
- f*cking dare you.
- He looks like sh*t.
[Brennan and Becca laughing]
- He looks like sh*t, we hate him.
- [Isabella] You look like sh*t.
- Can he take some hit points for that?
- He looks really good-
- Psychic damage.
- [Persephone] Crazy-
- He's turning away,
you see, 'cause he knows
he looks like sh*t.
[Aabria laughing]
- Dressed up and still looks like sh*t.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, you know
we've all been to those
parties where we think
oh, we look so nice and
we're like, I look like sh*t.
- And then in the pictures, oh no.
- Antiope, he hits you with a fire bolt.
So you're trading arrows and bolts
and you're running in opposite.
You're running up the stairs
in opposite directions
as he's sprinting down the rampart.
He hits you for 13, 23,
[dramatic instrumental music]
bolt. [mimics fire roaring]
- [Aabria] Ooh, I hated that.
- You got those temp HP.
No, you didn't.
- I don't have temp HP.
- f*ck.
- That just sucked.
- And also, if I didn't say it already,
he moves another 10 feet down the rampart.
- Like dude, y'all go f*ck yourself.
- You look like sh*t. [laughs]
- Incredible.
Ostentatia, you are engulfed
by one of these bloppelgangers.
♪ Bloppelganger ♪
- So what's the deal?
- Right now you're inside of an acid blob
that is devouring you.
- Can I cast Searing Smite on Sunforger?
- Yes, you absolutely can.
- So it's just on fire?
- Sunforger is just on fire,
and that's a bonus action to cast that
so you can cast Searing Smite
on Sunforger, absolutely.
- Actually, I take that back.
- Okay.
- I would like to cast Wall of Fire.
- Nice.
- Yes.
- Amen.
- Hell yeah.
Where do you want to cast it?
- [Isabella] I'll lay it right behind you.
- Again, this thing is eating you,
but it's so viscous and oozing
that you can cast spells from within it
so where do you want to cast Wall of Fire?
What's your target?
- Around myself.
[Brennan gasps]
and so it lands on the
majority of the ooze.
- Oh my God, Izz, you
can absolutely encircle
all of these bloppelgangers.
- [gasps] Let's go!
- In a wall of fire, absolutely.
- And then...
- Yes.
- I can't do a little hit?
- Wall of Fire, I think, is a full action
so you can't do an attack.
- Cool.
- Other bonus action stuff,
yeah, you're absolutely
gonna get all of them.
- Devastating!
- f*ck yes, Izzy.
- Nice.
- Can I try to get mine as well?
- [Brennan] What's that?
- Can I try to get the one on me?
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- I think that fire, I like
it, so it doesn't hurt me.
- [Persephone] You are resistant to fire.
- Yeah, you're resistant to fire
so you are gonna hurt yourself.
- I don't care.
- But you're not
gonna hurt yourself nearly
as bad as you hurt them.
- I wanna melt this b*tch.
[Aabria claps]
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- Make him into jewelry.
- So if you want, you can also cast this
as a fifth-level spell which means
it will deal slightly
more damage, it'll deal-
- No.
- You're just gonna keep it fourth level.
- Yeah.
- Amazing.
- 'Cause I have to cast other things.
- You are gonna cast Wall of Fire.
Oh my God, this is so f*cking dope.
- Yeah!
[Persephone cheering]
- [Brennan] Oh my God-
- [Rekha] We're watching seduction happen.
- Izzy, I'm actually gonna,
we're gonna do double-
- What are you gonna do,
propose to me about it?
[Aabria cheering]
- Ostentatia, to be clear, says that.
- Yep.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- To the universe.
- To the universe.
The universe is into it.
- Fire!
- I am actually gonna need,
Ostentatia, we're gonna do double damage
the old fashioned way.
I'm gonna need you to
roll 10d8 fire damage.
- Let's go!
- We're gonna double the amount of dice
because they're vulnerable to fire.
- [Persephone] Do you need d8s?
- Do you need d8s?
We'll just all yeet them-
- 4...5...6... I need four.
- Got that many, well, here's two.
- Got 'em.
- Oh, you got 'em?
- [Aabria] Let's go.
- Ow, one of them hurts.
- I know, it's spiky.
- In a good way.
[dice clatter]
- What's that?
Okay, someone help me.
- Just yell numbers and we'll do it.
- So seven, seven, seven, seven.
- 28.
- Like the "Friends" scene.
- Yep, 28, keep going.
- 28, yeah.
- [Isabella] Remember?
- Yeah.
- Five, five, five, five.
- 28 plus-
- [Persephone] 48.
- Yeah.
- Two, three.
- [Rekha] 48 plus five.
- 53.
- [Aabria] 53.
- [Becca] 53.
[Erika gasps]
- [laughs] To each of them.
- Wait, to each of them?
- That's gonna be 53 damage.
No nat 20s were rolled
on saving throws from our bloppelgangers
so they each take 53
points of fire damage.
Ostentatia, you reach into yourself.
What's going on with Ostentatia
as she finds this spell within her?
What's going on as she casts this?
- You're f*cking up my clothes!
[players laughing]
[Rekha clapping]
[Brennan mimics fire roaring]
Not only is there a ring, oh wait, f*ck.
[fan flaps open]
- [Aabria] Let's go!
[players cheering]
- Actually, towards the forge.
Towards the forge.
- Oh.
- Towards the forge, fan the fires of w*r.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- Bigger!
- Wallace on fire!
- You see that the entire ground here
becomes a bed of coals like
you're in a furnace now.
All of the bloppelgangers
are horrifically injured.
The two of them that were
injured by Flame Strike before
are incinerated. [mimics fire crackling]
And as you burn the ooze away from them,
there are two uninjured
nobles underneath them.
- Wow.
- They go, "Oh my!"
And begin to sprint away.
- Let's go, yeah! [claps]
- Yeah!
[players clapping]
- Yes!
- And Ostentatia, you
have fully freed yourself
because you've destroyed one of the ones-
- Ugly jester!
- Incredible!
And you take 13 points of fire
damage from your own spell.
- [Becca] Amazing.
- A little tickle.
- A little tickle.
- You just hear from across
the room like. [cheers]
- Incredible spell from Ostentatia!
[players clapping]
[players cheering]
- [Aabria] Get him!
- [Brennan] Incredible,
incredible, incredible.
- I did good.
- We're gonna continue to go along.
- Wait, can she move 'cause
she isn't restrained anymore?
- Oh yeah, you have your movement.
You can go right ahead
and move on out of here.
- [Rekha] Then there's
a Kevin right above you.
- Move me to jester.
- I'm gonna say that you don't take
the secondary damage from the wall of fire
because you just took damage from it
as you were walking through it.
So you exit the wall of
fire and move five tiles.
You can see the jester
walking towards you.
- Come here.
- You just wanna talk?
- [Brennan] Boom.
- I just wanna talk.
- [Persephone] Just wanna talk.
- [Brennan] What a badass move.
[players cheering]
- Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
- [Brennan] We love it.
- [claps] We love to see it.
- Oh, thank you.
- I actually misspoke before, Ostentatia.
You did not k*ll two
bloppelgangers, you k*lled four.
- Let's go!
[players cheering]
- So all four that you hit
with the Flame Strike outside,
boom, which is, by the way,
just to again communicate
the danger of the battle,
those are the first
bloppelgangers to drop.
So whoosh. [mimics fire roaring]
- That's a tasty banana.
- Incredible.
After Ostentatia it is now jester's turn.
- Uh-oh.
- Ew.
- Ew.
- Ew.
- But jester already light my a*s up.
- What's wrong with his stupid face?
- Why is his?
- Oh, jester's going a bunch.
Jester's got legendary actions.
- Yeah, I was gonna say.
- Jester has legendary actions.
- Jester's a legendary tool.
- Yeah, is one of his actions,
eat my f*cking a*s? [laughs]
- [Brennan] Ostentatia, you
can see the jester approaching,
walks to the beginning of the pathway
amongst the bloppelgangers there
and is going to cast a Fireball spell.
- Oh no.
- [Persephone] Oh no.
- That is going to affect
Tectonya, Danielle, Katja.
Actually yeah, I think the
fireball's gonna go off
and actually hit pretty much everyone
on that side of the dais.
I am going to need dexterity saving throws
from Danielle and Katja.
- Tectonya's gonna die-
- It looks like I'm out of range,
but is that just an approximation?
- Well, if you're 30 feet above the dais,
you're within range.
- Oh, okay.
- Right, 'cause he's gonna center it
and the people on the ground.
- [gasps] What's indomitable?
- You get to reroll a failed save.
- [Persephone] I'm so angry.
- [gasps] Oh, you're totally right!
I forgot that.
- [Isabella] That's a big...
- But wait to find out if you failed it.
- [Brennan] Seven, 13.
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry for such a weird like,
I read your character sheet.
- No, no, no, no, this is my
favorite thing about a person.
[Aabria laughing]
- Correct me if I'm wrong,
the pixies with temp HP
have three hit points plus 15 is 18?
So unfortunately the
damage of the fireball
is exactly 36 which halves to 18
which means that all the
pixies within that fireball
[snaps fingers] are dead.
- [screams] Kevin!
- [Players] Kevin!
- Wait a minute, does that mean I fall?
- No, no, no, your Kevin
is still over by the bridge
where it cast fly on you.
However, the Kevin who
cast on Danielle does die.
[Erika screams]
- [Becca] Buddy.
- Which means that, but first of all,
let's resolve fire damage first.
- Okay.
- Number one,
there are some
bloppelgangers on that table.
- Bye, b*tches, get out.
- All the bloppelgangers on
that table take 36 times two
which is gonna be-
- [Rekha] 72.
- So 72 damage to each of the
bloppelgangers on that table.
- Those are rich people
and I'm glad they're gone.
- Bye.
- Oh, now I wish I had been hit by it.
- And Jana is going to
take 36 fire damage.
She fails her save.
[Persephone laughs]
- Oh no.
- Oh no, mommy.
- Oh no, mommy.
- All of the pixies
on the dais are gone which
means that the confusion effect
ends on the bloppelgangers
and the Phantasmal Force
on Jana also ends [snaps fingers]
because those pixies are no longer there
to maintain concentration on their spells.
Oh, and Tectonya automatically fails
which means that she
takes 36 points of damage.
Let's start resolving what happens here.
Katja, what did you get?
- I rolled a 14, but I have
indomitable if that doesn't.
- That is not gonna cut it.
- [Aabria] Get it.
- [Persephone] Come on.
[dramatic instrumental music]
- Not gonna do it?
- Three.
- You take 36 points of fire damage.
- It doesn't even matter.
- [laughs] What's Katja at?
- Oh, just give me a second, 179.
Oh sorry, not 170, 79, Jesus Christ.
[Isabella laughing]
Yeah, I gained.
- Incredible, Danielle.
- 14.
- 14, that is a failure as well.
You take 36 points of fire damage.
You immediately fall to the dais,
taking another 11 points
of falling damage.
- Okay, and then I should
do a concentration check?
- You should do a
concentration check, yes.
Do you have Warcaster or no?
- I do.
- So you're rolling with advantage.
- Okay, oh.
- But it's a DC 18
constitution saving throw.
- Oh God.
[die taps table]
[dramatic instrumental music]
- You miraculously hold onto the spell
which means that your
friends have not lost flight.
[Erika shouts]
- Whoa!
- Miraculously Warcaster comes in.
- You're the dopest!
- I'm gonna actually need
another con save with advantage
as you take the falling damage.
- You're perfect, you're
perfect, you're perfect.
- [Brennan] This is only DC-
- Another 19!
- Amazing.
So Danielle, you, boom,
the fire engulfs you.
Your little pixie goes, [gasps]
I'll remember you, comrade.
- Rest in power!
- Kevin!
- Kevin!
- And you fall,
take another 11, hit the dais, stand up.
How many hit points does
Danielle have right now?
- 51.
- Okay, you're looking good.
You're up, things are okay.
And Katja, you fail the save.
- I'm at 79.
- At 79.
[mimics fire roaring] The fire goes off.
Jana is hurt as well.
- Cool.
- Tectonya falls.
[player gasps]
Tectonya goes to zero.
- sh*t, signature.
- [Brennan] After that, it is Jana's turn.
Jana is going to try to finish the job.
[light piano music]
- What job?
- Hold on, this b*tch
just got lit on fire.
She's never stuck with
anything in her life.
- Actually, that's true, she
should roll with disadvantage.
- [Becca] Yeah.
- Is that really what she wants?
'Cause she seems flaky as sh*t.
- Yeah, she might want to go, like,
f*ck some dude right now.
[Aabria laughing]
- Oh my God.
- [Rekha] What?
- She rolled two threes,
that's actually a miss.
[Becca gasps]
- Wow, the dice tell a story.
- [Brennan] She's got two more attacks.
She could finish Tectonya off.
- But what if she's a flighty b*tch?
- [Aabria] But what if she's a flighty.
- That's a hit.
- Don't commit to hit.
- You see she slashes at
Tectonya's fallen body,
delivers two failed death
saving throws to Tectonya.
We're gonna Box of Doom this last one.
- Oh no.
- [Erika] Ew.
- Oh no.
- There's literally nothing we can do.
- Okay, all we need is her hand.
[sinister instrumental music]
- [Aabria] Upsetting but true.
- That is upsetting but true.
- Maybe not because the
superintendent might be,
the signature might have something to do-
- We can lie, we have the form.
We'll say she signed it before she died.
- There will be a new superintendent.
- When she dies!
- [Persephone] Yeah.
- We did not walk all this way
to find another superintendent.
- I know.
- We're allying with the corpse we have.
- I feel like-
- And what if it's f*cking Charity?
- Maybe Jana's the new superintendent.
- If Jana's the new superintendent,
Katja sets herself on fire.
[dramatic instrumental music]
[dice tap Box of Doom]
- That's a nat 20.
- Oh no!
- [Persephone] No!
- Don't roll those anymore, please.
If you could not, sir.
[Erika groans]
- Hey, you all-
- You're back to being a booger again.
- Y'all knew what was going on.
Tectonya was in trouble from the jump.
And you see that Jana
makes eye contact with you,
swivels the Greatsword around.
Takes it double-handed
blade down and boom,
shatters the stone
underneath Tectonya's body,
driving the blade through her stomach,
[snaps fingers] k*lling her.
- Congratulations on the first thing
you followed through on.
[players gasping]
- [Aabria] Yo!
- Yo!
- Psychic damage, psychic damage?
- Yeah, f*cking psychic
damage, you stupid shitface!
- Come on.
- Jana plunges the sword
into Tectonya silently.
The Superintendent is dead.
- No, I was gonna ask her to be my mentor.
- Why?
- This is, I don't need to tell you guys,
this is catastrophically bad.
Jana has shattered through the stone
on the other side of the Superintendent.
You can see the Superintendent's
soul begin to. [exhales]
- No!
- Because you remember
what happens when the
Superintendent dies, right?
Someone somewhere else
becomes the Superintendent,
and you have a very limited amount of time
to try and stop this.
And that's all for this
week on Dimension 20.
- [Players] No!
- [Brennan] Tune in next time.
- I told you she sucked!
- Once the juice is loose,
that's all she wrote, folks.
- I'm a giant f*cking swan, I'm angry!
- I don't understand this world.
- I got three words for you, S-P-F.
- You guys, I gotta go to therapy.
- Can I roll to see if Lysander's the one?
[somber instrumental music]
- Jana...
- Ooh.
- Nice to meet you, I guess.
[soft piano music]
- I'm at work.
- Do you want her to die forever?
- I've never thought about it. [laughs]
- Crush your mother's skull!
- Okay.
- Crush her!
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11x07 - Bloppelganger Blitz
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.