1
- Hello, one and all, and
welcome to a thrilling one shot
from Dimension 20 "Fantasy High."
My name is Brennan Lee Mulligan,
I'm your humble dungeon master.
With me as always are some
of our intrepid heroes.
Say hi, intrepid heroes.
- [Players] Hi, intrepid heroes.
- With me today we have Mr. Lou Wilson.
Lou, who are you playing today?
- Oh, I'm playing Fabian
Aramaris Seacaster.
- [Brennan] Hell yes.
- Fighter or Bard.
- [Brennan] Half elf fighter
bard, Mr. Brian Murphy?
- I am Riz Gukgak, a rogue
inquisitor.
- [Brennan] Hell yes, and Mr. Zac Oyama?
- Hi, I am playing Gorgug Thistlespring.
I am a half of the berserker barbarian,
I think that's what it's called,
and with the level of
artificer thrown in there.
- A nice little level artificer.
g*ng, before we get started
with our thrilling return
to Elmville in this
"Fantasy High" one shot,
shout outs to Ally
Beardsley, Emily Axford,
and Siobhan Thompson,
who couldn't be here.
Like many boys nights from my youth,
at least this boy's night is explained
by the women and nonbinary persons
in my life having other stuff going on.
So, we're actually sending lots
of love to our missing Intrepid heroes.
Can't wait for you to be
back in the role of Elmville.
However, without further
ado, we now set the scene.
As we return into the world of Spyre,
zooming down through the clouds
to see a beautiful fall
day morning rising.
It is a Saturday morning, baby.
It's late in the morning,
For those of you tuning
in for the first time,
Elmville is in the nation of
Solace in the world of Spyre.
Spyre, a classic high fantasy world
with the nation of Solace
being a lot like a sort
of modern American anomaly
within this fantastical world,
cars and diners and high schools
and shopping malls and
things of that nature.
And Elmville is home
to the illustrious Aguefort
Adventuring Academy,
the world's premier high
school for heroes where some
of our wonderful PCs
are still in Elmville.
Others are actually away at the moment.
We moved down over the streets of Elmville
towards a twee little
neighborhood in the southeast
of town known as Ballaster,
over the Thistlespring Tree,
a wonderful little gnomish settlement.
And by the way, for anyone watching
who maybe is tuning into
this world, in this setting
for the first time, heavy
spoilers for season one
and season two, and the
previous one shots set
in the world of "Fantasy High."
Dimension 20 is an anthology show,
so we have a lot of different settings
and you can kind of jump
around and not get spoiled.
You will definitely get spoiled
for at least "Fantasy High" season one
and season two by tuning
into this one shot.
But we zoom down over to
the Thistlespring Tree
and we see a wonderful
gnomish tree with a door set
into the base and little circular windows,
sort of going up a yard
filled with saw horses
and work benches and a
little shed with tools,
different tinkering things and buzzing,
gnomish contraptions both of crystal tech
and electronics and the various windup
and mechanical and gear-based
things all spread out
throughout the work area.
And you zoom in through
one of the upper windows
to go down the steps and
see Gorgug Thistlespring.
Zac Oyama, please tell
us what Gorgug looks like
and what's he doing on this
wonderful Saturday morning?
- Oh, Gorgug is just in
contrast with the gnomish
tree that we're seeing.
He is a just full half orc,
a teenager who is gangly and tall
in just any setting,
especially in this one.
Previously he had rage issues
and would wake up to a broken bed.
And now he is just taking
the breezy Saturday morning
to make, maybe reinforce his bed.
- Heck yeah, with his one
level of artifice there,
Gorgug is gonna work with a welding mask,
putting steel rivets
into the base of his bed.
You're up in your bedroom.
We see the bedroom of an
increasingly accomplished
and eclectic teen, band
posters up on the wall,
a huge drum set in the corner
with some hoodies and socks
kind of slung over it,
some drumsticks over there,
different tour posters from
Gorgug's famous rock band,
Fig and the Cig Figs, as well
as a bunch of tinkering gear,
a buzzing, enormous, magical,
gray ax up on the wall,
and then a bunch of cool barbarian stuff,
and then little sweet
gnomish contraptions.
Your crystal begins to buzz
with kind of a little
fantasy FaceTime from Zelda,
from Zelda Donovan,
sort of giving you a little
Saturday morning FaceTime.
- I try to find the swath of room
that doesn't look super messy.
It's pretty racked overall.
I think I point it sort of just
at the corner of the ceiling.
Hey, hey, Zelda, happy Saturday.
[Brennan beeps]
- She comes up, you see
that she is on the sort
of sandy ramparts overlooking
an expansive badlands.
She has the headphones
in, her sort of hoodie up
with her horns kind of pushing it back.
Zelda Donovan, your satyr girlfriend waves
at you and says, "Hey, Gorgug.
It's super good to see.
I just, I know it's Saturday
morning, I just wanted to call.
I do have the battery pack on my crystals
so I will get service,
thanks to the satellite,
when we're up north,
but we're just gonna be
probably heading out in a couple minutes.
So I just wanted to call
'cause we're just gonna be
probably traveling and busy
but I do have my phone
on, so I'll keep it on."
- Great, I hope you have a safe trip.
And you sure we can't come, [laughs] or?
- She sort of laughs and says,
"You can, you super can,"
but you hear off in the background,
the rest of her adventuring party,
the Seven Maidens and you'd know
that somewhere off in
the distance, as well,
Adaine, Fig, Kristen,
and Ayda Aguefort are all
with them as well.
You see, she says, "I mean, look,
you would be awesome on this quest,
but like everything we know
about Hipyria, the
Gorgon Queen of Throshk,
is that she just turns all men to stone
and a 300 mile radius around
kind of like wherever she is.
So, but you would be
so helpful on the trip,
up to 301 miles away from her."
- Totally, yeah.
- Totally, totally.
- Yeah, well,
it seems like it's pretty settled.
Probably shouldn't do that.
- But we're super, we
everyone's been like,
"Oh, this sucks about this
Gorgon curse.
Oh, we should, it's like, man"-
- It feels like you're
not that sad. [laughs]
- No, I'm really super,
it's just this awkward.
I don't know, it's just, it's-
- You can enjoy just
having a girl's night, or-
- Honestly, I'm jealous
'cause you guys are,
probably things are popping
off back in Elmville.
- You said popping off, do you
mean anything in particular?
'Cause I, it is about 11:30 and
I haven't had breakfast yet,
and that's pretty much been my day.
- Gotcha, I'm just trying
to make you feel better
about having to sit this
one out, I love you so much.
I just hope you're not super bored
but we're gonna be super safe
and obviously there's a huge,
there's gonna be 11 of us.
Her whole army is very powerful
and we're taking it super seriously
but we, the plan is super in place,
so we should probably get it
done by the end of the weekend.
- Totally, well, love you too.
Maybe, yeah, we're gonna have,
we'll definitely have a boys night.
We'll just get a freaking boy night going.
- Yeah, you guys should get a
little boys night going, so.
- Yeah.
- And they, it's gonna, we're gonna try
to take care of this super fast.
And then it sounds like there's a sort
of system set up from
the Council of Chosen
'cause there's gonna be a probably,
we're not, it's not on us, but
it's probably gonna be weeks
and weeks of taking
everyone who was turned
to stone and turning them all back to-
- The regulars.
- Regulars, yeah, well, have so much fun.
Don't get into too much trouble.
- Totally.
- Boys night, yeah.
- We're tight.
- All right, love you,
Gorgug, talk to you soon.
- Love you, bye, okay.
Okay.
- The phone goes off.
Well, how's Gorgug feeling
right now? [laughs]
- Gorgug is about to take
out his crystal and google,
fantasy google boys night.
[group laughs]
- Fantasy google [laughs] boys night.
- Just generally, what do I do?
He's gonna just try to
do a little research
into what could be fun
before he gets everybody else on the horn.
- Incredible, you start researching it.
I think you go down to
the table downstairs.
Your dad Digby is whipping up a huge,
awesome gnomish breakfast.
There's pancakes with
fresh whipped cream on top
and fresh berries and
this big old side of bacon
and all this great stuff.
And you see the Wilma is sort of
at this desk doing some sort
of fiddly crystal tech stuff.
And your dad turns around and says,
"Well, hey there, bud, I heard
you're welding away up there
and you haven't even had breakfast yet.
You working away doing
your thing up there,
reinforcing the bed?"
- Yeah, totally, I don't think
if I have a weird rage
nightmare I think it'll survive,
which is a big upgrade for me.
- Your dad immediately tears up and says,
"Well, look at my crafty son.
How about that, oh,
buddy, oh, that's my guy."
- Oh, I learned it from you. [laughs]
- He runs over and gives you a big hug
and says, "Well, eat up, eat up, bud.
You're slaying the day and
you've been working already,"
a huge plate of food
lands in front of you.
- Gorgug crushes it,
obviously, he just eats.
- Crush it, dude, crush it.
[overlapping chattering]
- Digby goes back to
the tiny gnomish kitchen
and he's like, "All right,
round two's coming up.
Just hang on, buster."
- Hey, Dad, if I were trying to do a,
just like a classic hang
with two of my friends,
my friends that are boys,
when you hang with your boys,
what do you, what do the boys do?
- You see he looks over at Wilma,
and Wilma kind of looks over at him
and sort of puts her shoulders up.
And he's like, "I, the
last, me and the boys,
we used to, we all, we would
get up to, to real high jinks,
shenanigans 'cause I,
me and your mom, we met
in our freshman year of college.
And, and I had these two friends
in high school,
Scooter-
- Dad, did you meet Mom
and then lose all friends?
- I met your mom and lost all my friends.
I fell so hard in love.
And I've just never," you see that he
and your mom look at
each other and both kind
of smile and say, "We just
never wanted to hang out
with anybody else,"
they both kind of say it
at the same time.
And you do kind of think back
and realize that your mom and dad,
the only bickering you've
ever even seen them do was
about who was gonna get
the first opportunity
to do something nice for someone
else, which is very sweet.
But also you realize
that your parents have
very little social circle.
Even thinking back to their relationship
to the other bad kids' parents,
they always invite them
over for holidays and stuff.
But when it's the weekend or whatever,
your parents want to hang out and build,
tinker stuff together.
You see, yeah, your dad looks and says,
"But that doesn't mean I can't,"
and you see he kind of gives
a panicked look over to Wilma
and says, "Wouldn't, maybe 'cause I know
that your friends, Ayda and
Fig and Kristen are all out
of town this weekend.
Maybe, for a boys hang,
what if we got some of the dads together
and we did a little camping trip,
[Zac laughs]
and we just sort of had a,
went out like some fellows do
and did some kind of male bonding?
- Interesting.
- Maybe we could talk
about our feelings and talk
about how we feel about being,
you're becoming young men.
I could talk to Jawbone.
We could organize a little,
maybe do like a little men's
circle and just talk about-
- Men's circle?
- Yeah, how it sort of feels to be men,
and does that seem like a fun Saturday?
- I think I'm getting
this call on my crystal.
I think my crystal was shaking-
- Are you sure, the alarm
didn't go off or anything.
Okay, sure, okay-
- Yeah, I have to run out
of this room right now.
[group laughs]
- Okay, I'm gonna contract Jawbone, bud.
- We're gonna break through
the wall, like "Scooby-Doo."
- Incredible.
Gorgug, you spring out of there super fast
as your dad gets this
idea for a camping trip,
with some male bonding.
And we're gonna cut over
to a different place
in Ballaster, which is
the Strongtower Luxury Apartments.
Riz, what are you getting up to?
I think as you awaken this
fine Saturday morning.
- What is it, I think Riz
sleeps super, super late.
I think he stays up all
night hyped up on caffeine
and then crashes and wakes
up insanely, insanely late.
So I think I'm still probably sleeping
while Gorgug is going through all of this.
- Incredible, Gorgug, are you
like sending a message out
on your crystal to Fabian
and Riz, you think, or no?
- Yeah, I just softly am
broaching the issue, like,
"Hey," I just say hey to both of them,
just started a chain,
started the first ever chain
with just the three of us with, "Hey."
[group laughs]
- I just look at my crystal and see
that Gorgug just wrote, "Hey,"
and I just write, "is something wrong?"
- I don't know.
- Oh my God-
- Wait, is something wrong?
- Is something wrong?
- Is something wrong-
- There's something wrong.
- Is Fabian dead?
- Fabian's not dead.
[group laughs]
- Fabian responds back, "I'm not dead."
- I am not hurt, what's going on?
- Fabian's hurt.
[overlapping chattering]
- I am not hurt, what is going on?
- I don't know, he just
said "Hey," out of nowhere.
- Hey, oh, I just, I
just thought I, sorry.
I just wanted to say hey.
- Gorgug, are you hurt?
- I'm not hurt.
Why did you say hey, are you in danger?
- I'm not in danger.
- You wanted our attention?
You have our attention now.
- Okay, dot, dot dot, what
are you guys doing today?
Want to hang?
Is that crazy?
Is that strange?
- That's cool.
Yeah, that's, do you guys want to, like,
I'm writing all of this-
- Are you hurt?
[group laughs]
- I just woke up, I'm
sorry, I'm a little foggy.
I don't, do you guys
want to like throw rocks
in the river or something?
Or what do we do?
- Did the river do something?
- Is there, no, question mark.
- That sounds insane, Riz.
[overlapping chattering]
That does not sound like an activity.
- Well, we usually hang out at the manor.
So I figured we'd just do something
'cause we can't go to the manor
'cause everyone who lives
there is out of town, so-
- Like a beam of glorious
sunlight coming out
of the clear blue sky, a
new group thread starts up
with the three of you from a
number that has not texted you
in many, many months.
The first thing that arrives
is a photograph of Ragh
and Lydia Barkrock in
the front seat of a van
with Ragh going like this
and his mom going like this as well.
And you see that he,
you see that Ragh,
underneath that text, "What's up, dudes?"
And then says, "You know it's your boy,"
and then just goes "the" and an emoji
with a crab and an emoji
with a little crown is up
for crab king.
He says, "You know the crab
king is back in town, heads up.
What are you assholes doing tonight?
Gonna be at Mordred a hot sec."
That text shows up.
- Before I answer it,
I text both Fabian and Riz separately,
like, "Wait, was Ragh the crab king?"
I know I was the little shrimp.
- You were the little
shrimp. I mean, I think
that the crab kid
changed hands many times-
- Gotcha.
- But maybe it's something we discuss
when we all hang out together.
- Totally.
- Yeah, I respond to Ragh and I say,
"We're just thinking about
throwing some rocks at the river.
Skipping some stones.
Yeah, we're down to get up
to some shrimp and crab activities."
Question mark, "are you okay?"
[group laughs]
- Is Ragh okay?
- And he's like, "Dude,
honestly, I am super okay."
You see he says, "just came back.
My mom just picked me up
from the Asgrow of Rune Port.
So I just wanted to come back
'cause I hadn't been
home for a couple months
and just wanted to see
fam and, and see people."
You remember that Ragh has
been adventuring with Tracker
in Fallinel, specifically
serving as her bodyguard.
But he says, "Yeah," he said,
"I'll be back in like an hour
if you guys want to come by
Mordred and say what's up."
- Whoa.
- Yeah.
- Sounds cool.
- "Seafood you there."
- A big old immediate "ha ha" reaction
to "seafood you there."
[Brennan laughs]
Incredible, so as you guys are getting
up about your day, cutting
back over to Strongtower,
Riz, as you get up out
of bed and get ready,
you come out into the living room
and see your mom, Sklonda Gukgak,
who is, you realize immediately,
bags under her eyes,
looking kind of manic,
has been up all night
with a tremendous amount of
textbooks and legal books,
and documents, stuff like that.
Your mom quit the Elmville PD
and is studying for the bar right now.
You see your mom's,
and it looks like you see
there's a huge white board
with a bunch of stuff.
She takes a cup
of coffee that is ice
cold and it takes a sip.
She goes, "Oh, Riz, oh my God,
you're up, what time is it?"
- It's like noon.
Are you have, did you not sleep mom?
- Hmm, you know, I think, I
think I maybe missed the boat.
- Okay, well, yeah, all right.
If you're gonna just go
in for another full day,
why don't we get you
some actual hot coffee?
And so I go and I get, I
make my mom some more coffee
'cause she does that for me.
- She says, "Oh sweetheart,
thank you so much.
I've just been doing a
deep, deep dive in here.
You know, it's very
interesting, the whole structure
of all this is, it's just very
interesting to tackle the law
from this angle.
And there's a tremendous amount.
I mean, here's the funny thing
is as I'm diving into this,
the contradictions and all
these other things, I mean,
it's just a honeycomb, right?
Because so much of this
is based on common law
and established precedent.
And of course, precedent is
based on the jurisdiction
or the judicial sort of realm that,
it's just a mess and it's a mess
in a way that is deeply
troubling, but also,
you're solving a puzzle.
There's kind of the mystery element to it.
So are you, oh, do you
need, do I need to take you
to school today, what day is it?"
- Today, I think it's, I
was up all night last night-
- It's Saturday.
- But then I slept
for like a few hours,
yeah, yeah, it's Saturday.
So we're good.
No, I'm just gonna the manor, hanging out.
I think we're doing kind of a boys thing.
A lot of people were talking
about like skipping rocks
at the river for-
- Is that something you would have-
- It's not something I would do.
- Is that something you would do?
Is that something that you would-
- Hmm.
We're struggling without,
it's usually like we have this
whole kind of group dynamic
where all of us come together
and we solve these problems together.
And when I don't have a problem to solve
I don't know what to do with myself.
And so I think what does
like a cartoon character do
on a lazy day?
They like sit, maybe I
put some wheat in my mouth
or something and sit under
like the shade of a tree.
And then I would like skip a rock.
It's not something I would do or enjoy,
but I'm struggling, Mom.
- Go ahead and give me an insight check.
- That is, ooh, baby, 18.
- You watch your mom's
crestfallen expression
as you've just honestly divulged,
like, I have a hard time connecting
to my dearest friends whose
lives I've saved many times
unless there's a problem
so I can feel useful.
And you just watch her go
like, "Oh no, oh no, Sklonda."
Another swing and a
miss from Sklonda Gukgak
about her poor, poor boy.
[Brian laughs]
She goes, "Okay."
She looks at some missed
texts on her phone,
looks up and goes, "Oh, well,
you know, sweetie, I just got a text
from Digby Thistlespring talking
about maybe a little old camping trip
to kind of get in, maybe-"
- Like sleeping outside?
- Well maybe just like making
a fire and I'm very proud of,
I'm very proud of being your mom
and I have to think I've done a good job,
but sometimes it's nice to
have older male role models
to kind of look up to and,
and maybe-"
- I feel,
I'm getting a text right now.
I think Gorgug is hurt.
- Gorgug's hurt?
- Yeah, he's been texting all. [laughs]
I have to go, I think I have
to go to the manor, Mom.
Fabian wants to throw rocks in the river
and I can't stop him, and Gorgug's hurt-
- Fabian Seacaster wants to
throw rocks in the river?
- I'm running. [laughs]
[group laughs]
- You just sprint out of there.
- I also do the [indistinct].
- To be clear, I have
just recently texted,
"By the way, I am not hurt."
[group laughs]
I dunno if that was confusing.
- Incredible, you are gone from there.
Fabian, you awake in your gorgeous,
you wake up in your gorgeous sheets
with your battle sheet beside you-
- Of course, always.
[overlapping chattering]
- Always, what's Fabian getting
up to this Saturday morning?
- I think Fabian gets dressed,
kind of is going through
this whole text conversation
that we have, finishes
it, tosses his phone down,
takes a deep, deep drink from
like a pitcher of green juice
that has been laid near
his bed for when he awakes,
and then just starts bumping music
through his crystal speakers.
And just, I'm imagining a sequence
much like the maniac sequence
from "Flashdance," where
Fabian is just going.
He knows he's got about like 45 minutes
before he has to leave and get ready.
So it's just an intense 45
minute "Flashdance" type sequence
of Fabian just letting loose
in what I'm assuming is a dance studio
I've just built somewhere
in my massive house.
- Beautiful dance studio,
like gorgeous hardwood floor.
It's just like the perfect
place, you unleash twirling.
The battle sheet Fandrangor,
just, and huge thumping,
the sound system is
incredible coming through.
There are still pirates just
in the walls who are actively
performing this piece of music
which is sort of your stereo
system still in place.
Gorgeous ,work up a sweat,
get your training in,
you feel great.
Got your green juice
ready to face the day.
Your a green juice, by the way,
is in a private refrigerator in your room
that Cathilda put in
place 'cause Cathilda has
actually taken just a very
short vacation as a leave
of absence to go back
and help rebuild the
Ramble back in Leviathan.
You head downstairs
and see in the enormous kitchens Gilear,
who now sleeps in the house,
who is seated there in this
beautiful red velvet robe
that is much too big for him,
it looks sort of just like,
it sort of makes him look like he's
in kind of like a pair
of like baby's pajamas
'cause the robes are too large
and you see your mother, Hallariel,
who has been having a very
hard time with Bill's absence.
You see that she looks
frankly stressed out,
like her beautiful platinum
hair has like frizzed
and gone all over, a little bit sleepless.
She has a cast iron skillet
and is just kind of moving
it over an open flame
with a full oil covered
cantaloupe rolling around,
[group laughs]
just rolling around in it.
She turns around and
says, "Fabian, my darling.
Breakfast is almost ready."
You see Gilear is just very quiet
and not commenting on anything.
- Oh, good morning, Mama.
Oh, what's for breakfast this morning?
- Well, this cantaloupe should
open in a moment or two.
I think it hasn't gotten hot enough yet
but eventually it will pop, I imagine.
- Mama, Mama.
- What, darling, my
darling boy, yes, well-
- It's a cantaloupe.
- Right, it has a hard shell and-
- Yes, it's a fruit, yes?
- Well, it's like popcorn, so eventually-
- I'm sorry, what?
What'd you say, Mama?
- Like popcorn, like when
Cathilda makes popcorn.
I've seen, I have seen her, Fabian.
I've seen Cathilda cook
before, you put popcorn
in the thing and you shuffle it around.
- Gilear, Gilear, you're just going
to watch my mother attempt
to popcorn a cantaloupe?
You're just gonna sit there
in my father's clothes
and watch my mama attempt
to popcorn a cantaloupe and say nothing?
- Fabian, I assure you
I would not be wearing
your father's robe
unless I had accidentally
spilled a Garvey nectar
over all of mine.
They are currently unable to be worn
and they have been found
and transported elsewhere
on the grounds by ants.
But as to the cantaloupe, I don't,
I wasn't, I was 99% certain
that's not how you do that.
But knowing my fortune, that
remaining 1% felt too likely
for me to speak up and
remove what little status
I have got here at Seacaster Manor.
- Well, you know what, fine, fine.
It Gilear's not gonna, if
no one's gonna step out
around here then I will,
and I'm gonna go and take the cantaloupe
and take it and put it on a cutting board.
And then I'm gonna cut it
in half and then I'm going
to just, "All right,
well, there we have it.
The cantaloupe, Mama."
- She looks and says,
"Fabian, your worldly skills.
Incredible, you are a blessing, my son."
And she takes a bite of
piping hot cantaloupe.
- Wait, is it, is it, Mama, Ma.
- Oh.
- I think it's supposed to be eaten cool.
This is only as far as I've
ever seen Cathilda do it.
I've watched her cut it
in half and then we have,
and then I don't know
what happens from here.
But I know this is closer
'cause that's the good stuff,
the colored part.
- She nods and says, "Yes,
now that I think of it,
I have never seen the kind
of beige part in an actual meal before."
- See, and that's how I knew
you were doing it wrong.
It's because I said that's,
that's not the good part.
The good part's inside.
- That's not the food part,
you're very right, my boy.
All right, well, round two, I
shall find another cantaloupe.
And she goes off. [laughs]
You see Gilear looks up and says,
"Any fun plans for the day, Fabian?"
- Well,
some of our friends are away
with the Seven Maidens, so
it's just Riz and Gorgug and Ragh, so
I think we're currently planning
some kind of boys night.
I don't know what that will include.
Riz wants to throw rocks by the river,
which I think is insane, I mean,
I don't know, but I also,
it's not like I have a better idea
so, but yeah, we'll have to do
more to figure something out.
- You see Gilear checks his crystal,
it goes, [trills] looks at it
and goes, "Oh God, oh dear.
Well,
Digby Thistlespring.
You know what?
It doesn't matter, it's not important.
I don't know-"
- No, what is it, Gilear?
You got a text?
I mean, that's huge,
nobody texts you, Gilear.
- I know, you're right, no one does.
Well, I do get a lot of texts
from the old ride share app that I worked
for asking me to come back,
but they honestly have too
many curse words in them.
So I don't normally respond.
- Yeah.
- Digby and Jawbone,
it looks like,
are potentially planning a
sort of little wood fire
sort of hang sesh.
If you want to, the way
Jawbone phrased it was,
if you want to rap about your feelings and
sort of get to express some of,
please don't make me repeat the texts.
I'm already sweating very hard.
- All right, just call
down, Gilear, all right?
Just calm down, I mean, it sounds,
that sounds like a great thing.
It's like you, Digby, Jawbone,
just three men together
in the woods hanging out.
I mean that you should,
that sounds like fun.
You should, you should
take them up on that.
- You know what, you're right.
I don't want to be rude, and also,
I believe that perhaps
Jawbone is roughly my size
and may have some spare clothes.
So I'm gonna maybe take
them up on that offer.
Farewell, Fabian.
You guys roll up to Mordred Manor
in time to see
Ragh and
Lydia sort of getting to the house.
Ragh you haven't seen in months.
You see Ragh looks f*cking great.
He's got like a sort
of crab king tank top,
he's got a sick magic halberd.
He's got his tattoos from
when you were in Leviathan.
Hair's a little bit
shaggier than it used to be.
He comes out and he's
like, "My boys." [whoops]
[overlapping chattering]
- Yes, yes.
- Big hugs, sweeps you
guys up, and he's like,
"My bros, how's it going, guys?
How are things rocking in Elmville?
You guys hold it down junior year?"
- Yeah.
- You know it.
- We're going nuts.
[overlapping chattering]
- Absolutely, it's going good.
- It's crazy.
- Crazy.
- Absolutely good.
- What Riz said, crazy.
- Gorgug got hurt this morning
'cause we were going nuts.
- I didn't get hurt actually, that's-
- There's been some-
- I didn't know, yeah-
- He needed our attention.
[overlapping chattering]
We were assuming it was medical, so.
- Yeah, it's about to be medical.
- Oh!
[overlapping chattering]
- You guys give me a
group deception check.
[group laughs]
- I got a 14.
- 12.
- I got a, I got a 16.
- I'm gonna make an insight
check for Ragh, natural 20.
- Okay, well.
- Incredible.
Ragh looks at you three guys, and is like,
"Yo, bros, what's going on, man?
You guys seem super uptight.
Are you guys like, if you
guys want, are you guys,
are you guys looking for like
something to do tonight?"
- Yeah, yeah-
- Do you have something,
do you have anything?
- Do you have anything?
- Do you have anything to do?
- Yeah, truly anything,
we're not throwing rocks.
- Talk, Ragh, talk, Ragh.
[overlapping chattering]
- He goes, "Yeah."
He's like, "Well, I hit people up
because like I was gonna
be back in town for like,
I'm officially just back
in town for like a week.
Maybe like a little bit more."
Everyone here make an
insight check for me,
if you would be so kind.
- 19.
- 19 as well.
- Ooh, I got an 18.
- Insight twins.
- Yo, insight triplets, yo.
- I'm 18-
[overlapping chattering]
- We know exactly what Ragh's thinking.
- How much attention do you guys think
you would have been paying over the summer
since the events of
sophomore year to what Ragh
and Tracker were up to in Fallinel?
'Cause Tracker's been updating
her social media pretty frequently,
and Ragh has kind of
been doing so, as well.
And again, both of them kind of,
because of how viral the
events of sophomore year went,
kind of do have a lot of
followers now and stuff like that.
So Ragh, do you guys think
you've been paying close
attention to that, or no?
- Probably not at all.
- Yeah, I would agree.
Maybe it is like almost none.
- I would say I would say
some attention probably.
I think Riz has pretty
good attention to detail.
- Cool, so on those
two 19, I think Fabian,
you sense a little weirdness around Ragh,
not exactly knowing when
he's going back, right?
And Riz, I think you
would maybe read something
into Ragh's statement, as well.
Not, I don't think you
would read any kind of rift
between him and Tracker,
but one of the things
I think you would know
if you can follow him
on social media is that Tracker's movement
within Fallinel, which has been kind
of like a new sect of the worship
of Galicaea or the Moon
Goddess to kind of fight
against the high Elvin
interpretation of her,
has been really, really successful.
Tracker has tons of followers,
has been getting a bunch of
other champions of this kind
of more ancient wolf centric,
primal version of Galicaea,
of kind of like the moon wolf dichotomy.
And I think no one really
cleared a 20 there,
but I think you would see like, oh,
Ragh went there to kind of
like be Tracker's body guard.
And Tracker is like,
probably you guys wouldn't
know it and dangerous
but has probably leveled up a couple times
and has a lot of followers
and is doing very well there.
- Got it, okay.
Cool, well, it sounds like
everything's going really well.
Ragh, did you have anything that
you particularly wanted to do tonight?
'Cause we've had some
things floating, but-
- Not floating.
- There's been a couple of
things floating around here.
[overlapping chattering]
- He's like, "Well, let's
go, let's go into the manor,
and I want to say hi to everybody else.
Let's head to the manor and
let's just do a little sweep.
I just got back, and some
people have already hit me up,
but dude, we can definitely
hunt something down tonight.
It's fall, there's not
any big tests coming up.
This is like ideal party
weekend, let's f*cking do it."
- This is ideal party weekend.
[overlapping chattering]
- You don't understand that for real, Riz?
[overlapping chattering]
- I'd say it was in the air.
[overlapping chattering]
- It was crazy 'cause
I woke up this morning
and I was like, this is,
is this a party weekend?
And then it is, so it's nice.
- Insane, yeah, yeah.
- Ragh looks at you, Riz, and
is like, "You know what, man?
I'm gonna give this one to you.
And it's not just because
I have residual guilt
over dunking you in a
trashcan in your freshman year
and giving you [indistinct] forever.
Got it, man, you got it."
- Yeah, I'm The Ball.
- Hey dude, you're The Ball, my man.
No, you know what, dude, hey, you're Riz.
But you're also kind of The Ball, right?
- Little Shrimp.
[overlapping chattering]
- Riz just sort of hoists
you up and puts you
on his shoulder as he
walks into Mordred Manor.
And as you guys enter, by the way,
Lydia, Ragh's mom, sees you guys.
You see that she still has,
she's like this middle-aged
very beautiful half ork woman.
She's a wheelchair user.
She has that glowing crystal shard that,
she's wearing a little
sort of like beige sweater,
but you can kind of see the
glow of the crystal coming in
through this kind of
like loose knit sweater.
And she's like, "Hey look, it's the boys.
All right, awesome, I'm
excited for a boys night.
Are you guys hungry?
I know it's getting close to lunch time.
Want me to whip up some of
Lydia's specialty chili?"
- Sure, yeah.
- Classic boys afternoon.
[overlapping chattering]
- Something, yeah.
- Hell yeah, she's like, "All right,
let's do that, I wanted to
make sure you guys are fed."
Lydia heads in Mordred
Manor, you guys walk up.
As you're approaching, Jawbone waves
from the garden is
like, "There's the boys.
Hey there, fellas, how's it going?"
- Super good, it's a
party weekend, Jawbone.
- Hey, boys.
- Hey, well, wait,
I want to tell you guys
about this campfire.
And you guys walk inside.
[group laughs]
- Hey, boys, no one's ever
called us the boys before.
It's very, it's new,
it's interesting to be-
- This is a new chapter-
- It's a very new vibe, yeah.
- I didn't know it would
pump me up so much.
- I'm also kind of amped.
- Do you feel pumped up?
- I think, I think this
is a new kind of level
because I think we're really
task-focused friend group.
You know what I mean?
But I think this is just
like, I think we're gonna,
I think we're gonna let down our hair-
- Riz, are you okay?
[overlapping chattering]
- I think I'm gonna relax,
if that makes sense, is that-
- Okay. [laughs]
- Is that okay?
- You're gripping that chair so tightly.
- Is that okay?
- Breathe, The Ball, breathe.
[group laughs]
- You guys head into Mordred Manor
to one of the sort of side rooms there.
Lydia puts a big bowl of
like Fritos in anticipation
of the chili coming out.
And you see Ragh walks into this room
with his dining table to see kind
of a little corner is being
monopolized by some spell books
with Aelwyn Abernant and
Zayn Darkshadow both there.
You see Ragh walks up and he's like,
"What up, what up, what up?"
The two of them, Aelwyn
goes, "Oh, Ragh, darling,
it's so lovely to see."
And Zayn, as well, is like,
"Hey, Ragh, how's it going, man?"
And you see them do this
weird little handshake
for a second where they have
sort of like a hit forearms.
Zayn has to kind of, he's incorporeal,
but you see the three of them go, "R-V-S,"
and do this little mimed thing.
And you see-
- What is RVS?
I don't remember, remind me, The Ball.
- This seems like-
- Is this like-
- Really cool, cool stuff that
I don't, this is not my area.
- I don't know what it means either.
- I think we just need
to follow Ragh's leads.
[overlapping chattering]
'Cause, just do whatever Ragh does.
[overlapping chattering]
- Are you guys trying to-
- To elbow in?
[overlapping chattering]
Sorry.
[overlapping chattering]
- Ragh turns around to all of you.
Well, I don't think I'd be that quiet
about not knowing what this is.
And he's like, he goes, "No,
no dudes, it's totally chill.
It's not like a huge secret.
RVS is Reformed Villain
Squad, so it's just a little,
the three of us just kind of-
- Oh, that's right.
- It's not meant to be like exclusionary.
It's just like something we just,
it's like a joke we
thought was kind of funny.
- Oh, totally.
- No, it is funny.
- You see-
- We're laughing at it,
we think it's funny.
[group laughs]
- We're having fun today.
- We're loose with it.
- Incredible.
So
you guys sort of, you guys are,
once again, getting ready to
eat, hanging out at Mordred.
You see Ragh looks up and basically says,
"Cool, well, let's try to track
something down if we can."
Let's go ahead, and what I'm gonna need
from all of you is investigation checks,
but I'm sorry, Riz,
using your charisma modifier instead
of your intelligence modifier
to try to track down, it's like
classic high school weekend
of like, you didn't make plans
during the week for something fun to do.
And now it's Saturday and
you're feeling self conscious.
- We're gonna end up in a parking lot.
That's where we're gonna end up.
- We might go to the river.
- So if we, so if you're, you want us
to an investigation
check with our charisma.
[overlapping chattering]
- So if you have-
- Okay.
- So if you have proficiency-
- We have half proficiency in it, so-
- Oh, sweet.
- So it'll be plus.
I have a plus five to this roll.
- I've got a six total.
- I got a dirty 20 'cause I rolled a 14,
I have a plus one the charisma,
And then my proficiency
bonus, so I got a dirty 20.
- I got a 19.
- Hell, yeah-
- I think there's some
pretty sick parking lots.
[overlapping chattering]
- Gorgug, I think you're
maybe a little bit,
you're like truly a rock
star, but there's still
that sort of, the kid who
steals backpacks thing
that sort of comes back in this moment,
a little sort of flash of insecurity.
And
Riz and Fabian,
You both track some stuff down, actually.
Riz, there is a LAN party happening
at Shellford's house tonight-
- Fabian, I figured it.
I have it.
- With a dirty 20?
With a dirty 20 you get-
[overlapping chattering]
Shellford's LAN party?
- What, there's a LAN party?
[overlapping chattering]
Yes, yes.
- Yes, I figured it out!
[overlapping chattering]
- Fabian, on a 19,
what kind of vibes would Fabian look
for as he tried to track something down?
- I mean, I think that
quietly, in Fabian's head,
he's like, well, a LAN
party sounds pretty cool.
But I think I'm looking for
something more akin to a rager,
or at least, what are the
cool kids doing tonight?
- Hell yeah.
Rad, okay, I'm gonna make a role
for the other folks that are here.
Ooh, those are not great
roles for Zayn or Aelwyn.
Ragh actually rolls pretty okay.
Ragh looks up from his
crystal and is like,
"Hell yeah, actually, I don't know
if you guys are in the mood
for something like this.
You guys remember Jem peppercorn?"
- Oh, totally.
- Jem Peppercorn was the kid
who kept eating food when we
were all fighting Kalvaxus.
Do you remember that kid from the-
- Yes.
- Oh yeah.
- Jem Peppercorn's got, apparently he
and his friends do a
big game of manhunt up
by the Durinson Mithral Factory, which is-
- I would be so good at that.
- It's just, it's like
a once a month thing
that he and some of his pals do.
Fabian, you get a
text back on your crystal from Max Durden.
Max is a kid in your year
who is the, you remember him
as the drow kid who yelled, "Police state"
back in freshman year.
- Hey, you guys remember Max,
[group laughs]
the guy who screamed "Police state."
- Yeah, probably, I mean.
- I think it was in the very
first orientation, maybe.
I don't know, when did it happen?
- Oh, that, yeah, that
happened like two years ago.
It was at the freshman year
when Biz Glitterdew was
putting the crystal kind
of like, he called it a panopticon.
And he said, "Police state"
when he was talking about it.
Max, I think Fabian, you
would know that Max is,
he's definitely, especially
now going into junior year,
he is a cool kid, but he's
cool in a very different way.
I'm gonna try to hit this
like high school vibe here.
He is not prep cool, he is not like,
"My parents, we have a
ton of, we have a pool
and we live in a fancy neighborhood."
He's the kid who's like, "Oh,
my older brother has
a pair of bolt cutters
and can get us into like the old factory.
I have my own car that's
an old beat up whatever,
and I have a bunch of
stolen espresso shots
from the gas station."
The kind of cool where
you're like, dangerous.
Like, this is a dangerous kid who's,
but Max hits you up and is
like, "Yeah, dude, what's up?
My older brother, Corey,
is having a party across, at our house.
Parents are out of town,
should be a ranger."
- Hey, you guys know bolt cutter Max?
Well, his brother, his friend
Corey is hosting a party
if you guys wanted to get,
I feel like that would get pretty wild-
- Saturday, wild Saturday-
- Exactly,
classic party stuff, if that's the vibe.
- I'm just like nodding,
but also shaking my head.
Just like hitting a diagonal angle,
so you can't tell if I'm
nodding or shaking my head,
while looking to Ragh to see
if he thinks that it's cool.
- Ragh looks up at you, who remember,
is like two years above you.
And he goes like, "Oh, sh*t,
Max's older brother
Corey's having a party?"
He's like,
"Yeah, we could,
if you guys wanted to roll squad deep
and hit up a Durden house party, we could.
I'm not gonna lie, man, Max
is the chill one compared
to his older brother."
- Yeah, okay, yeah.
- Squad deep, though, it sounded-
- If we roll pretty deep-
- I mean, how deep are we talking?
- That'll probably even that out, and,
and we should go, right, we should go?
- Once again, I do the nod head shake.
- Ball, are you hurt?
- Are you okay, is your neck all right?
[group laughs]
- He kind of turns-
- Are you hurt, are you hurt?
- Not hurt, I'm not hurt, I'm just,
I'm responding to the question.
- You guys see, as you're
looking around for kind of,
you see Ragh goes, "Yeah, man.
I remember back in the day, Corey,
Corey was intense, Corey
was one year above me,
but he was like, he's an intense dude.
But I mean, the parties, sick
as hell, off the chain, man."
And then he goes like,
"I think he's, yeah,
he's in college now, but it's like,
again, the parties are off the chain, man.
It would be a wild time, we'd
have a good time for sure."
You see Aelwyn looks up and
sort of arches an eyebrow
and goes, "Corey Durden?
Have any of the three
of you ever been to one
of Corey's parties before?"
- Not recently-
- I do my weird head shake.
Not recently, but as far as overall.
- Or yeah, not at all, I guess.
- Yeah.
- You see that she just sort
of smiles and c*ck her head
to the side and says,
"You will, in all likelihood,
be asked to prove yourself.
The first time I went to
one of Corey's parties,
I believe that I ended the night sometime
around dawn engaged in ritual combat.
So just something to be aware of."
And Ragh goes, "Hell yeah, dude,
Corey's parties were legendary."
And
so you guys sort of look around.
And Jawbone walks in at
that point, and goes,
"Hey there, fellas, I can
see we're getting ready
for some chili, hell, yeah.
Just wanted to let you
guys know," he's like,
"I got some texts from Sklonda and Digby.
There's nothing sort of more,
more uncool than, sort of,
I don't want to put pressure on you guys.
Just want to let you know that honestly,
me and Digby and Gilear,
we're gonna go have kind
of a boys night of our own, and-
- Sorry, Riz is texting me.
Riz is texting me.
- We have a party,
We have a party that we have confirmed
that we're going to.
- Yeah.
- We RSVPed.
- Yeah, it's booked, so.
- You can't walk out on
that, it's a huge faux pas.
- Okay, okay.
[overlapping chattering]
Yeah, that sounds pretty cool, so
me and Digby and Gilear, we're, again,
I'm not trying to hustle
you guys into anything,
but we're gonna go, we're
gonna have a campfire,
maybe gonna make some s'mores.
I don't know, maybe we'll
even pass a little old can
of beer around and take some sips.
It might get kind of crazy, so.
[group laughs]
[overlapping chattering]
So, but I just wanted to say that
that's what I'm doing tonight.
[overlapping chattering]
- Three adult men are
gonna share one beer?
- I don't know, maybe
that sounds like too much
of a wild time for you guys.
So, but we'll see what happens, so-
- And you wouldn't give us any, right?
- Well, it depends how
generous we were feeling.
If any, if any a young man
came up to the campfire-
- Jawbone, I'm just doing the math here.
So if, even us,
even if we were to get
an equal amount of beer
as the adult men, we're
talking one sixth of a beer.
There would be six of us there, probably?
- "I'm just saying, but we'll see.
'Cause my understanding
is that some folks kind
of made offers and it's sort of,
I know being a young fella, it's like,
oh man, I want to do the
opposite of what I'm told.
So I'm just saying,
we're gonna go do that.
And we don't even give an
F about any other stuff.
We're just gonna go have
a good time ourselves.
So you young fellas, feel free
to come by if you want, but."
And you see Jawbone does
this big, over the top wink
at Lydia who comes in with the chili.
And he's like, "But if anything comes up
and you guys feel like
maybe playing guitar,
singing some campfire songs,
maybe sharing some feelings
about what it means to be coming of age.
But hey, if that sounds too rowdy
for the bad kids, then you
let me know, all right?"
- Well, we're not the bad kids,
we're the bad boys, right?
[group laughs]
And the bad, maybe that is a bit rowdy.
Maybe we we're too rowdy
for that, I don't know.
We'd like to go find
out in a different way.
Thank you for the offer though.
- Jawbone winks again at Lydia,
who sort of looks confused,
and puts the chili up
[group laughs]
on the thing, you guys know
that Jawbone has had a wild life
but oh, baby, is he just reveling
in being domesticated now,
has truly softened with age.
So
you see that Ragh
looks at his crystal, you guys.
Fabian, you end up getting a
text from Max pretty quickly.
And basically, Max says like,
"Hell yeah, dude, not an RSVP
situation, anyone can come.
So just show up.'
- Is it nerdy that I
RSVPed, 'cause as soon as
you said that we were going,
[overlapping chattering]
I texted him and I said, "RSVP."
- Well, you should RSVP for a party.
I don't know what kind of weird
kind of safari party this is
where you don't have
a guest list, [laughs]
I mean, that's insane.
- I sent an edible arrangement
to his house, is that bad?
- I think that's a great call, regardless-
- Did you send it from all of us, Gorgug?
- Yeah, it's from all of us.
It's from the boys, bad boys.
[overlapping chattering]
I said "from the bad boys."
[overlapping chattering]
- Oh, yes, oh, it gets me so amped.
- Incredible, Fabian,
you get an enormous text,
caps locked from Max, that goes,
"Oh wait, absolutely
must bring liquor," caps.
- Boys?
I just gotta, I just
got a crystal message.
We have to bring liquor,
do you have liquor?
- I can't legally purchase
it, so why would I have it?
- We could maybe get one
sixth of a beer each.
- I mean that, yeah, if
we go to the campfire.
Oh, I mean, I don't,
we could probably bully the-
- Let's get that beer.
Let's get that one beer.
- Well, that's not, that's not liquor.
Beer is, well, some beer-
- I'm sure we could-
[overlapping chattering]
- We could get Gilear to buy it for us?
- Let's bully Gilear into
buying us [laughs] alcohol.
We could do it, we've
gotten him to do so much.
[overlapping chattering]
- Let's get Gilear jailed.
- You think Aelwyn would do it for us?
- I mean, is Aelwyn 21?
- I don't know, but I feel like she could,
I don't know, figure
that out better than us.
- Aelwyn looks over and goes,
"Are you asking me to devolve
into my old and wicked ways
to supply a party with
libations, as it were?
I think isn't it a rite of passage
for these self-proclaimed
bad boys to get a fake ID
and go get some liquor for yourself?"
- Yeah, yeah.
[overlapping chattering]
- Yeah, we could do that, we'd love-
- Well, we can definitely do that.
Text Gilear.
[group laughs]
- Yeah, we're going to do that.
We're going to go with Gilear-
- Yeah, we're gonna go get, yeah.
[overlapping chattering]
- We're gonna go to a
different room from you,
Aelwyn, and then we're
gonna figure it out.
- She nods and says, "I'll
be in the wizard's tower
with Zayn, hanging out,
if anyone needs me."
And you see that she and
Zayn depart, and Ragh says,
"Dudes, you could
absolutely do this, okay.
Brainstorm, what are the
ways that we get liquor?
Number one, attack a gas station.
Number two-
- No, no.
- What's up, why?
[overlapping chattering]
- Oh my God, dude, Riz,
you were literally judging
my brainstorming right now.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm just saying, let's,
anything with attack in it, no.
- Okay-
- Attack the plan.
- We don't have to, I'm not saying
you attack the gas station attendant.
You just attack the gas station, dude.
- Okay, that's an idea.
- Okay, that's one.
[overlapping chattering]
Two, we could,
we could just, we could,
what if we,
I'm bad at this.
I'm also in on attacking a gas
station, that sounds great.
- I don't want to attack a
gas station, why don't we-
- Don't attack my brainstorm!
[overlapping chattering]
- I got an idea.
- The Ball.
- I got an idea, I could
text my dad to see if
for any reason, if we could
drink any of the fuel we have.
- He wants-
- That if, like-
- [indistinct], let's
attack a gas station.
- Should we attack a gas station?
- Maybe.
None of us are magical,
so we can't, is there any-
- Oh, sorry, none of us are magical?
Fabian is a little magical. [laughs]
- As soon as my man, my little,
I mean, you could make us something.
Make us, make us a distillery.
Gorgug, make us a distillery.
- We can make our own booze.
- Yes, we could probably do
that in what, two, three hours?
- You know, I could give it a shot.
I don't know that I can make
an entire distillery right now.
I made that cell phone
tower pretty fast, but-
- Yeah.
[overlapping chattering]
- Let's make some bathtub whatever.
- Okay.
[group laughs]
- Would we know how long
it takes to make booze?
- You see, Ragh, I'm gonna
make a check for Ragh.
That is a natural one, Ragh is like,
"This is the perfect idea."
[overlapping chattering]
Yeah, let's go to the bathtub right now.
What do you need to make booze?
You need gasoline, nails,
rust, you need dirt.
You need f*cking, what, glass?
- Rust, we need so much rust. [laughs]
- I feel like there's maybe
like water and ethanol.
- No, dude, think about it,
water is what sobers you up.
So you wouldn't be able
to put water in alcohol.
So what's the opposite of coffee?
- Maybe we just text Gilear, right?
Maybe we just text Gilear. [laughs]
- Yeah, why don't we just text Gilear?
- Cool, you see,
[group laughs]
Ragh is like, "Dudes, why not both, baby?
We got a couple of hours,
let's head to Seacaster Manor
and then let's,
then we can,
if Gilear doesn't pan out,
we'll make some hooch."
- That's great, I think, okay,
what about this for Gilear?
Why don't we text,
why don't I snatch Jawbone's phone
and I will text Gilear, saying,
"Hey, pick up some alcohol
for the camping trip,"
and then as he's coming-
- f*cking liquor.
- Liquor for the trip, and
then we'll jump him on the way.
- Hell, yeah, now that's a bad boys,
this is a bad boy's adventure-
- Classic bad boys.
Several bad boy moves in there.
- Yes.
- Hell yeah-
- We should have done this way sooner.
I'm just gonna say that.
I mean, I love, I love the bad kids,
but I think the bad boys
are gonna do good work.
I just got a good feeling about this-
- I think this is gonna go well.
- Yes.
- Incredible.
Riz, go ahead and give me a stealth check,
and then give me a sleight of hand check.
- This is a lot of rolls.
- Can Gorgug make a distraction
to give him advantage?
- Gorgug, yeah, Gorgug can
give the hell batch in here.
- Great, okay, so first doing
the stealth with advantage.
Oh, baby, right off the bat,
that's a nat 19, which is a 32.
And an nat 20, and a nat 20.
- Oh my God.
- That's just with advantage,
so my sleight of hand could still be bad.
Do I get advantage, I
probably don't get advantage
on the sleight of hand-
- No, this is a flat one.
- Come on.
- But I got an nat 20 on the stealth.
Oh my God, another 19.
Sleight of hand-
- Nice.
- It's just a 24, though.
- Only a 24.
- Only a 24.
- Only a 24, yoink, you got
Jawbone's phone, no problem.
What do you,
what do you do as you
take Jawbone's phone?
- I text Gilear,
and I guess I'll look and
see... how familiar are Jawbone
and Gilear with each other?
I want to make sure I'm not totally
speaking wrong when I speak to Gilear.
- Go ahead and give me
an investigation check.
- Natural one.
- You scroll up to see huge
text blocks from Jawbone,
talking about planning a hang sesh
to talk about their feelings specifically,
because Jawbone is living at Mordred Manor
with Sandra Lynne
and talking about how much he loves Gilear
and how much he loves Sandra Lynne,
and how much he loves Fig,
and how he wants to make sure
that he's always providing opportunities
for Gilear to be more in Fig's life.
Just these huge divulgences of affection
and reaching out and trying to involve,
that are just big long walls of text
with very few responses from
Gilear, that normally are,
you see one that ends with, "My man,
I think of you like a brother,
you're one of my best friends
and I respect you so much."
And the response from Gilear is,
"I am currently trapped in a storm drain.
The bottom half of me is above ground
and the upper half
below," things like that.
So you find some personal stuff here.
[group laughs]
- I feel, I feel awful.
I text Gilear a wall of text, I say,
"Hey, Gilear, love you.
In the interest,
things are probably gonna get
a little wild emotionally,
but also alcohol wise.
Could you pick up some liquor-"
- Hard liquor, hard liquor, The Ball.
- Hard liquor-
- Hard liquor.
- "Really hard, that nasty stuff.
Love you, you're my best friend,
dash Jawbone," and I send.
[group laughs]
- Go ahead and give me a deception roll.
- Okay, I only have a plus one, please.
That is a three.
- Oh, no.
[overlapping chattering]
- You give it away.
The response you get back immediately is,
from Gilear is, "Of course,
I will make sure to do
this as soon as possible."
- We did it, g*ng, booze is on the way.
- Nice.
- I slip the phone, I
guess I delete the texts,
and [laughs] I feel, this is
a huge invasion of privacy.
I'm sorry, Jawbone.
[group laughs]
I pass it back in, I'm sweating.
- Yoink, yeah, you
slide the phone back in.
Incredible.
You have a feeling like you've done,
you've done the right thing here.
In terms of like conning this
off, but you're not sure what,
having sent that text, you're
not sure how Gilear is gonna
necessarily interpret that
'cause you have capitalized
"that hard liquor."
Cool, so Ragh goes,
"Awesome, so what's the plan?
How do we get this from Gilear?
Are we gonna like swing by Seacaster,
or are we gonna wait
for these dudes to like,
what's the idea here?"
- I think I,
I think he said he was gonna
do it as soon as possible,
and he's Gilear, so
he's gonna lie? [laughs]
So I think we head down, try
and get a beat on Gilear,
and then as soon as he has the good stuff,
we tag him and bag it.
- Great.
- We're gonna k*ll Gilear?
- No.
[group laughs]
- No, that's just bad boy
talk for, get what we want-
- Okay, I can get by on that.
[overlapping chattering]
- Yeah, I feel like I'm
trying to use bad boy lingo.
So that we... this is bad,
we tag and bag over here.
When you're with the bad boys,
we're tagging and bagging.
- Tagging and bagging, when you're ready,
I made chili bowls for everybody.
[group laughs]
- Incredible.
So
how are you guys going
to go about getting,
tagging and bagging Gilear?
- Should we drive to Seacaster
and then tail his car?
- Yeah, wait, can I communicate with the,
well, did I ride The Hangman here?
- You rode The Hangman here.
- Yeah, okay, great.
- And Gorgug probably took
the Hang Van here, so.
[overlapping chattering]
- Hang Van?
- We got wheels, dude.
- We should hide in the van and tail-
- And then have the
Hangman tag, follow Gilear.
Yeah, let me, I communicate
to The Hangman, "Hangman,
quickly, can you head
back to Seacaster Manor
and follow Gilear, but
be stealthy about it."
- Sire, I shall be as swift
and silent as a shadow.
I shall follow the one
known as Gilear Faeth
and bring him to ruin, today
is the day Gilear Faeth dies.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I mean, I have been using a
lot of like heavier verbiage,
like tag and bag because
it's a bad boys night,
but mostly we just need to
get the alcohol from him,
so it's just surveillance tonight.
- Incredible, cool.
You guys look, about an hour passes.
It's getting into the afternoon now.
Party's gonna be in a little while.
You guys are probably just hanging out,
playing crystal games at Mordred,
when The Hangman hits
you up, Fabian, and goes,
"Sire, I now follow the
one known as Gilear.
He is en route in downtown Elmville
to a liquor store, let me know-"
- Wheels up, everyone, it's party time.
- All right.
- Let's tag it and bag it.
- We're gonna tag it and bag it.
- Let's tag him and bag him.
- Incredible, you guys hop in the van.
You guys see a liquor store
out of the windows of the Hang Van.
The Hangman is nearby, and
you see Gilear buy this,
and this is where that
three deception comes in.
You see him go in
and buy this enormous
jug handled monstrosity
of the hardest liquor he could find.
It looks nasty as hell.
You see him walk out of the store
and begin to head down the
block with a giant thing
that says Uncle Pappy's
Dag Nasty Rocket Hooch.
[overlapping chattering]
- Technically fine, right?
- Yeah, I think it'll do.
- High school, I feel like,
will take literally anything.
- Yeah, all this stuff
makes me sick anyway.
We're all, should we tackle him?
What should, how do we do this gracefully?
- Here, I'll intercept
him, and it'll be like
we're just having a normal conversation.
And then you guys can come up
and tackle him or something.
I don't know.
- We could drive up with
the van and pull him in
and put a bag over his head.
- Oh, yes.
Ooh, that's bad boy stuff,
ooh, that's bad boy stuff.
- Is that too mean?
[overlapping chattering]
I feel like I'm being so mean-
[overlapping chattering]
- Let's do it.
- Yeah, I don't have another
plan and he's walking away.
- Okay, let's do it.
I'll pull up and then you guys have
to do the other stuff 'cause I'm driving.
- Okay.
- I'll cover his face with the sheet
so he never knows it's us.
- Okay, you pull him in.
[group laughs]
- Okay, go, go, go, go.
- You guys perform basically a kidnapping
of the- [laughing drowns out speaker]
You drive by, the sliding door opens.
Gilear looks over, it's broad daylight,
and goes, "Oh, hello, boys.
What are you doing in the Hang Van?"
[Zac screams]
[group laughs]
Go ahead and give me an
opposed athletics check.
I will let you know what Gilear rolls.
- Oh God, if it's me, I have a minus two.
- [Brennan] Gilear rolls a 14.
- [Lou] Get him.
- Oh, 15!
[group laughs]
I rolled a-
- Riz, you put a bag over Gilear's head.
Do you drag him into the van?
- Yes.
- We're sorry.
- You see he goes, "Boys,
help me to understand
what I have done to deserve this."
- We're in over our heads,
it's a wild Saturday.
- Our moral compasses are
gone, it's bad boys night.
- Gilear, you have to come
with us to this party now
because we can't let you tell
Jawbone where, what happened.
- Text Jawbone and tell
him you're fine, and that
you got sick to your stomach
when you ate a hot cantaloupe.
- You see it says, "Text
Jawbone to let him know
I'm fine, and I'm sick to my stomach."
- Hurry.
- Do it, do it.
- Go ahead and give me an
intimidate check, Fabian.
- I have advantage on those.
Oh, baby, that's gonna be nat 20.
- Oh my God.
- Gilear, you text
Jawbone that you are sick
from eating a hot cantaloupe.
- Crystal speech to text,
"Dear Jawbone, I'm fine.
Also I'm sick to my stomach
from eating piping hot cantaloupe.
Please don't follow up with me.
I can't make it to the
campfire tonight, sincerely-"
- Longer, longer.
- Also I have another
statement I want to make.
- Keep going.
- Okay, something else.
[overlapping chattering]
I want to say that when
you reach out to me,
it always makes me feel good about myself.
Please keep doing it.
Also, I won't be able to bring
the liquor you asked for, so-
- [Zac] No, no, no, delete that part.
- Delete that part, no, delete that part.
No, don't type what I'm
saying, delete the last part.
The speech to text keeps, boys,
the speech to text keeps
going and it keeps saying
what I'm saying and not following-
- [Zac] Don't say boys.
- Boys don't say boys,
I've already said boys
and we're back to square
one with the problem
of the speech to text.
I'm worried that if I say send, it will,
oh, it just sent, I'm sorry.
It sent when I say it said send.
Speech to text, Jawbone.
- Stop, Gilear!
[overlapping chattering]
- No more, Gilear,
you're done, you're done.
- Okay, do I still have to go
with you to this other thing?
Or can you just kick me
out of the moving van?
- We can park it.
- Yeah, we can park it, Gilear.
- Oh my God, thank you, that's very kind.
- I mean, we're pretty far from your car.
So we're sorry, but if we turned around,
we might get caught by
Jawbone or something.
- It looks like it's about
a 17 minute walk back
to your car.
- "That's all right.
It will give me a chance
to try and figure out,
I guess my bearings, I don't know."
You see that he
looks out and says, "Well, I understand
that there are some shenanigans afoot.
I have made you all
and I don't, I've spotted you.
And if anyone tries to
get the truth out of me,
I don't know how long
I'll be able to cover
for you without being equally
terrified as I am now.
Honestly, it's probably
better for all of us
if you drive me further and
drop me off farther away
so it takes everyone
else longer to find me."
- Hey, you got it, dude.
- That's super solid,
Gilear, we'll do that.
- Very well, you drop Gilear off-
- We blackout Gilear so he
doesn't know where he is.
[Brennan laughs]
- You drop him off and he says,
"And of course, let me just say
that there are no hard
feelings, either as the partner
of your mother, Fabian,
nor indeed as your current
and acting vice principal.
There will be no comeuppance
or any consequences
of any kind, I can assure you.
Very well, enjoy your evening, boys.
If anything, I have to
say this is actually kind
of looking up for Gilear,
finding my car is actually
probably on the top of my list
of the things that were
gonna happen to me tonight,
so I do appreciate it, farewell, boys."
- Thank you, Gilear.
- Thanks, Gilear.
- Bye, Gilear.
- Goodbye.
You guys take off and arrive
at the household of Corey
and Max Durden. [beatboxes]
Bass blaring, the house
is across the highway,
actually near the old Faeth home.
It's a kind of big, but a
little bit dilapidated house,
kind of some rust on the gutter,
some paint peeling off
the side of the house.
Lawn is very overgrown.
A ton of cars pulled up all
over, parked on the lawn.
You see there are some lights
inside, people hanging out.
The sun has set and it
is now nighttime here.
You guys immediately smell strange smokes
on the wind of various substances.
You can hear the kind of
manic, delighted laughing
of both sort of cool
and interesting other teenagers gathered
around at different places,
maybe even one or two 20-year-olds.
You see that this appears
to be a dual party
of Corey's friends,
who's the older brother,
and Max's friends, who is in
the same year as you guys.
You guys see Corey's car parked out front,
which is this old beat up white jalopy
that has huge stencils
on the outside of a skull
with barbed wire around
it and crossed machetes.
There's a stencil of a hand
grenade over the gas tank door.
It just is like, Corey has to
get pulled over all the time
in this f*cking thing.
You see the, there are
sort of hand carried tanks
of gas over by the side,
there's an old shed out front,
a tire swing that's over
by a small stream going out
in the back.
But then it looks like there's a,
one of those tornado
cellar doors that's open.
That's where the music's coming out from,
is the basement of the house.
Do you guys approach in multiple vehicles,
did you bring The Hangman
or the Hang Van here?
What are you doing as
you approach the party?
- So
should we park the van
on a different street?
Do you think they care?
Do you think they care about how that,
getting away with having a party
or do you think they
don't care about that?
- It seems like there's
just a lot of cars.
I feel like we could just pull up
and I think we should
pull up strong in the van.
What was it that Ragh was
saying, that squad deep?
- With squad deep.
- Squad deep.
- I think we need to be squad deep.
And we can present,
[overlapping chattering]
we present with our big
nasty bottle of liquor,
and really-
- IT feels like this was the right call.
- Yeah, let's-
- It seems intense, and
there's part of me that's like,
should we just be at Shellford's?
But this feels like where we should-
- This is fun.
[overlapping chattering]
I'm feeling relaxed.
- You guys hear the
noise of shattering glass
as an engine revs and a bunch
of people start laughing.
- That's awesome.
[overlapping chattering]
There's just a car and
something's breaking.
Let's, we have to go, we have to.
- We just gotta.
[overlapping chattering]
- It's what bad boys do.
- Well, we want to.
We want to.
- We want to.
[overlapping chattering]
- We would be like so good at manhunt
'cause we're like, we're in
sync and stuff, but this is
where we want to be.
[overlapping chattering]
- [indistinct] for stealing the liquor,
and for us to not use the
liquor would be insane.
- That's crazy, right, yeah.
- Okay, I am going to need
a group persuasion check
as you walk into the party,
just as the front you
present as you enter.
And I'm gonna do honor system here.
Anyone who feels that
they should make this roll
with disadvantage, please
grant yourself disadvantage
on this role.
- I do have plus nine, but
I'll say disadvantage for sure.
- To persuasion?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Damn, incredible.
- I'm a rogue, so I guess
it's one of my expertises.
[overlapping chattering]
I'll give myself disadvantage.
- I'm also gonna give
myself a disadvantage.
- 12 with disadvantage.
- I rolled a four and a three.
- I rolled an 18 and a nat one.
- Oh, no.
- I'm gonna paint the
picture as you guys walk up.
The loud noise you heard,
you see some shattered glass,
a gravel driveway goes
up, this house also is
in a a part of town that is very much not,
it's straddling the line between the kind
of suburb of Elmville with rural.
The gravel drive, you can
see the road from the house,
but the gravel driveway
is up a little bit.
It gets a little bit rural out here.
So this is kind of that
semi-rural house party.
Go ahead, one by one, tell me
what's the vibe you're copping
as you walk up into
this truly packed rager?
- Riz is definitely doing a head nod
to everybody, but it's
just, it's way too much.
And he's also, I think he is
the one carrying the liquor
which is a bad idea
'cause he's very small.
So this huge jug that Gilear bought,
I just have it like this,
and I'm just shaking
as I nod to everybody.
- I think Gorgug is just
throwing out a bunch
of peace signs, kind of behind Riz.
He's seeing maybe like an album
that one of his parents have
with sort of that hippie vibe
and just thinks that's maybe cool.
- I think I got a nat one.
Fabian's going full like, "Oh!
Oh, here come the bad boys!"
[group laughs]
The bad boys are here!
Hide, the bad boys are here.
[group laughs]
- Oh, no.
- You better hide.
[overlapping chattering]
- Hide.
- Okay, I'm gonna describe
what you guys see happens.
It seems very clear
that you guys have
started this way too early
because Max's party is
the one in the basement.
And it seems very clear that Corey,
as the older brother, has
forced his little brother
and his high school friends
into the basement, right?
You're looking at a college party up here,
sort of on the thing.
You see
Max's older brother Corey,
who is a very muscular 20-year-old drow
who, intimidatingly for high
schoolers, full beard, right?
So that that like pure
white drow hair, full beard,
just looks very short, but very prominent,
still like thick beard.
He's got a little shaved
notch in one of his eyebrows,
the other one has a little
stud in the eyebrow.
He's got just a joint
hanging out of his mouth,
and apparently has the hood up on a car
and is doing something
to the engine of the car
as a bunch of his other friends
who are equally f*cking cool.
He's got a shirt, white kind of muscle tee
with clearly a spray painted
skull on the outside.
You would know that Corey
is a very powerful warlock.
Skull, like a black skull
stencil on the white muscle tee,
doing something to the engine.
You see that he's got
some bandages wrapped
around his hands, almost
like boxer sort of bandages.
Looks up as you guys round the corner,
and Fabian, you yell,
"Bad boys are in the-"
- Oh, you know what it is,
the bad boys have arrived
at the party to do it.
[Zac applauds]
We're squad deep, we are squad deep.
- As you bring that attention
to yourself, Fabian,
one of Corey's friends
who is blasted to hell,
this bald dwarf with a huge beard,
goes up and goes, "Bad boys
for life" and plants his lips
on your mouth and just
breathes smoke into your lungs.
[group laughs]
I'm gonna need a
constitution saving throw.
- Are you okay, are you all right?
- Uh-uh, uh-uh-
- Fabian, are you all right?
- That's gonna be a nine.
- You perceive all coterminous
realms of existence
that border on the prime material
plane almost immediately.
And the dwarf who just breathed
that smoke out of his lungs
into your lungs passes out,
twinkles into light, and disappears.
- Fabian?
- Where am I?
Is time real, what's happening?
- We're the bad boys, hi, hi, Fabian.
- Hold on to this, hold
onto being a bad boy.
- In what reality are we bad, what is bad?
- Bad is cool, baby.
- Incredible.
Fabian,
you see Ragh kind of picks
you up and holds you.
Who's holding the liquor right now?
- I am.
- Riz, Corey is reaching
over to grab the liquor out
of your hands, what are you
doing as he's doing that?
- Handing it to him, [laughs] yeah.
- He picks it up,
uncorks it, takes a swig.
You see his pupils fully
dilate into his eyes.
"This is some nasty f*cking trash."
- Yeah.
- Only the nastiest.
- Yeah, we get pretty nasty,
as far as liquor is concerned.
- What's the deal, you guys Aguefort?
- Yeah.
- Ragh looks up and is like,
"Hey Corey, what's up, dude?
Haven't seen you in a little
while, what's up, man?"
You see that
Corey looks over
at Ragh and goes,
"Barkrock, what's good, man?
Heard about you heading to
Fallinel, how's tricks?"
You see Ragh goes,
"Dude, oh, it's f*cking,
dude, it's great, man, sick-a*s
car, man, sick-a*s whip.
I honestly f*cking love it."
Corey goes, "Uh-huh," takes
the liquor and pours some
into one of the tanks of his car.
Twirls it up, looks out and goes,
"This your guys' first
time at a Durden party?"
- No, I think it could be.
I think it could be.
- Yeah.
- It might be.
- Okay, go pay your
respects to the little bro.
And then we're gonna do
some stealth mode, okay?
- Okay, [laughs] what is-
[overlapping chattering]
What is that?
- You guys see that there
is this like fire genasi
behind him who goes like, [laughs]
"What's stealth mode, baby," [cheers]
and throws another bottle that smashes
against the side of the house.
- Okay, yeah.
[overlapping chattering]
We're gonna go pay our respects.
- Yeah, then we'll go stealth mode.
- Cool, you guys head out.
Ragh looks at you guys and says,
"I'm gonna try to catch
up with Corey for a sec,
but you guys are gonna
head downstairs, right?"
- Yeah.
Yeah, we're gonna go pay
our respects downstairs,
it sounds like.
- Hell yeah, hell yeah.
You guys head downstairs.
As you're heading down
the sort of basement steps
and checking in, Fabian, it seems like
whatever it was was a very
quick blast of something.
You begin to get a come back, but
you're beginning to feel, you feel this,
give me a perception check,
actually, if you'd be so kind.
- Yeah, I'll happily do that.
That's gonna be a 13.
- You feel something in
the nighttime sky overhead
but on a 13 you can't tell what it is.
- Okay, I'm gonna do one
thing, yes, okay, cool.
I don't know what [indistinct].
[Brennan laughs]
- [Zac] Bye.
- Did Lou just get up in
the middle of a stream
to go get a box, incredible.
- No, my-
- I thought that was in character.
- No, my neighbors left
me a coconut milk custard.
- [Zac] Aww.
- Anyway, sorry, I don't
know why I interrupted-
- [Zac] Perfect timing.
- I should have just waited-
- Perfect timing.
[overlapping chattering]
- I love it, I love it, I love it.
- They texted me, I was
like, this is too nice not
to just like immediately-
- Oh, yeah.
- Incredible, wonderful neighbors.
So, yes, you see, you just feel a feeling
of something outside.
- Hey guys, I don't know what
that weird dwarf breathed
into my mouth, but I went
to a bunch of different,
I touched a bunch of different
realities for a second,
and I don't know if it's like
the drugs or the real stuff,
but I feel like, I'm worried.
I feel like there's something in the sky,
but I'm probably just high and
I should just be cool, right?
I should just ride it out.
- Just, yeah.
- Yeah, we're the bad boys.
[overlapping chattering]
Sensing that things are
in the sky is classic kind
of what the bad boys do.
- Exactly.
- Yeah, and as soon
as anyone else wants to
leave, totally cool to leave.
Guys, whenever anyone else
wants to get out of here-
- Yeah, we had to make a quick appearance.
- Yeah, I say we-
- 'Cause I feel like, yeah-
- I want to hang out, but.
- Yeah, no, me too.
[overlapping chattering]
- But I just feel like, let's
pay our respects to Max.
Let's go stealth mode
for like half a second
and then maybe manhunt is still going on.
And I dunno, maybe we could
probably, I don't know,
maybe like cruise by
that and just see what,
see what that's about.
- You guys get down to the basement,
see sort of crazy multicolored lights.
It's very dark and here's all
the lights are like deep blues
and deep reds to make
everything very, very dim,
but also to kind of bring a party to life
in this cement basement.
Big columns, it smells nasty down here.
It smells like damp cement
basement plus tons of teen BO
from dancing plus spilled beer everywhere.
Just a rank odor here in the basement,
but people seem to be having a ball.
It is also a thousand degrees in here
from everyone, a big packed dance floor,
thudding trap music.
There's just a lot of people drinking.
You see there's an air
table over in the corner
that two people are playing air hockey
in deep states of undress,
and you see someone scores a point
and someone takes their shirt
off, throws it onto the side.
And it looks like there's
another room with some couches
and other stuff that
appears to have a lava lamp,
some kind of multicolored
Christmas lights up in it.
It is packed in here.
Go ahead, now that you're
in the high school party,
give me another group persuasion check,
this one without disadvantage.
- Five.
- 13 this time.
- Seven-
- Oh wait, sorry,
persuasion?
- Persuasion.
- Sorry, I do have proficiency, 13.
- Hell yeah, 13, so you guys walk in here
as a group check, kind
of a little bit rattled,
but you walk up.
You guys see that Max is over in a corner,
clearly flirting with somebody,
but turns over to look and he goes like,
"Hey, bad boys, what's up?"
Max is clearly Corey's younger brother.
A little bit scrawnier, you
see that he has a black T-shirt
with a sort of red barbed
wire pattern on it.
Also he is in that state
of like teenager dumb
where he's like, what if
I tried really long hair?
So it's got the big, this sort
of shaggy rocker kind of hair.
Comes over and goes
like, "What's up, guys?
So glad you could make
it, welcome, welcome."
- Hey, this party's awesome.
- Hey, what's up?
- Oh, thanks, guys.
- So cool.
- Did you guys bring liquor?
- We did, Corey-
- We ran into your brother.
- Put it in a car.
- Which, if you needed fuel,
you should have told us.
Gorgug had so much fuel that we-
- I had a lot of access to fuel.
- His eyes go wide, he goes,
"Oh, you guys ran into
Corey on your way in
and he took the liquor?"
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Well, yeah.
[overlapping chattering]
I guess I gave it to him
'cause he was going for it,
and then he said that
we would come say hi,
and then we would have to do
something called stealth mode.
- And he said we have to
pay our respects to you.
- You guys hear the word stealth mode,
and literally the music
goes, like a record scratch,
and people turn around to
look at you, and Max goes,
"He said stealth mode?"
- Yeah, why, Max, why
did the whole party stop?
I mean, it's just stealth mode.
This is, I'm assuming this
is classic Durden party.
[overlapping chattering]
- Hey, we're just like everybody.
- Yeah, everyone go back to the party.
- We're just like everybody.
- Go back to partying,
everyone, it's not a big deal.
- You see that there is a
young girl over in the corner
of the party who just starts weeping
as she looks at you and shaking her head-
- Stop crying.
- Oh, no.
- Please don't cry.
[overlapping chattering]
- You shouldn't be crying, I think.
- "I'm so sorry for you
guys, I can't bear to look,"
and she runs off.
[overlapping chattering]
- The music comes back on and Max is like,
"Why don't you guys come and
get some, something to drink
or some snacks or something
like that," takes you aside,
and goes like,
"Okay cool, so there's like different sort
of trials and tests
that the Durden boys' parties will have.
Stealth mode's not like a great one."
- It's an awesome one?
- It's like a cool, we're
rocking out with it, right?
- "No, so," he's like,
"go get a drink and hang out
and Corey's gonna come get you
"in a second for stealth mode probably."
- Max, no, no, I'm not playing,
I'm not playing that game.
What have we agreed to?
Fabian full breaks, "What did we do?
Why did everyone stop dancing
when we said stealth mode?"
- I'm trying to relax here,
Fabian, we're hanging out.
- Sorry, I just, there's no way it's okay.
There's no way it's okay-
- I was feeling super chill-
- Should we call our parents,
should we call our parents?
[overlapping chattering]
- No, they'll get so mad if
you do that, don't do that.
- What about Gilear, he's not a parent,
he's not a parent he's just
an adult, and even then-
- f*cked right now.
[overlapping chattering]
- You see Max is just like,
"There is some argument that
stealth mode is kind of fun.
It's just like, it's like one
[overlapping chattering]
of those party pranks.
Look, have you guys ever
gone streaking before?
It's kind of like streaking.
- Okay.
- I know what it is, I've
never gone, but yeah, okay.
- So stealth mode is
kind of like streaking.
It's like a party prank.
- There's a lot going on
in my house, I'm sorry.
- A lot going on the Wilson residence.
So streaking is like, ooh,
we're gonna like run
down the street naked,
whoa, it's like a party break, whoa.
- That's easy, I can do that.
- So stealth mode is
where you guys get into
my brother Corey's, we sort of
load up the car with people.
Some people get into the back seat,
some people get into the trunk, right?
And you sort of take off
on the highway in the car.
And my brother sort of puts,
he ties down the gas pedal at night
and then turns all the
lights in the car off.
So that's why it's stealth mode.
And then he,
and then he sort of goes unconscious
and you're in stealth mode for sort of
as long as it takes to like
stabilize him basically.
- And we have to do this?
- I feel like stealth mode would
just be turning the lights off.
Why, what's all the other stuff?
- What's that, oh, well,
that other stuff is sort
of what makes it a test.
You could go to stealth mode anytime,
but like Corey's version
of stealth mode is sort
of like a harder core version of that.
You're sort of, you're not
allowed to come out of it
in sort of less than a,
it's mostly like a minute.
You need to sort of be
going a full 60 seconds
on the highway, no lights.
How do you guys feel?
- Bad, bad, Max, I feel bad about it.
- Not like a bad boys
bad, like a bad boys-
- Yeah.
- Amped up, this is
the kind of bad boy bad
that is the bad bad.
- We wanted to put a bunch
of computers together
with cords and instead we're here.
- Oh, were you guys gonna go
to the Shellford's LAN party?
- Yes.
[overlapping chattering]
- We were thinking about it.
- Yeah, that would have been a lot chiller
for sure, yeah, absolutely.
- We kidnapped my mom's
boyfriend, and now-
- You kidnapped the vice principal?
- Yeah, but there's not gonna be
any consequences, it's okay.
- He specifically said there
wouldn't be consequences.
- He was really cool about it.
- Okay, well I'm gonna
get a drink 'cause yeah.
I'm gonna enjoy what
little party I have left.
Yeah, yeah.
- Cool, as Max kind of looks stone faced,
this party keeps going.
Do you guys do anything at the party
before you are summoned by Corey?
- Should we sabotage his car?
- Won't that be bad?
Oh, could it be bad?
- Of course it could be bad, the situation
we're currently going to, Fabian.
- Okay, great, yeah.
[overlapping chattering]
- Let's get his car.
- Yeah, let's sabotage his car.
- Let's sabotage-
- Let's go, let's just go look outside
and see what, if it feels like doable.
- Yeah.
[overlapping chattering]
- Rad.
- Through those little windows
that every basement has.
- Yes, you could find some
of the windows looking out.
You look, I'm gonna
make a little roll here.
Go ahead and make insight checks
for me if you'd be so kind.
- Can any of us turn invisible?
Oh, no, no, that's Adaine's thing.
- I'm pretty, I'm pretty stealthy.
And I just got a 26 on insight.
- I got a 15.
- 11.
- Interesting development
in the predicament
you guys are in, having
come to a Durden party,
and not done a great
persuasion role on your way in.
It looks like Ragh
and Corey are having a great time together
and hitting it off, and
Riz, you said a 26 insight?
- Yeah.
- Corey was looking at you
guys in a very intense way
but Corey seems very warmed
up to Ragh right now,
and it seems like they
are getting along great.
You might not, if I'm being honest,
I don't know if Riz would,
I guess even like even Riz,
who's a little bit
mystified by these things
on a 26 insight is like, "Oh, there's
maybe some like chemistry
between these two guys."
Like they appear to be
like flirting a little bit
in front of Corey's car,
which presents an opportunity for you guys
to maybe have some way
of getting out of this.
- Okay, so they're maybe gonna hook up,
what, we just, the bad
boys need to play Cupid,
wing men, hello, and then
we don't have to drive
on the road with the accelerator down-
- For a full minute.
- And dude passed out
for a full minute 'cause
that's just death, right?
That's just, we're just-
- I think that's death.
- I assume we'll die.
- That's just death, so let's-
- Gorgug, you're in a
committed relationship.
How do we, how do we get the steam
in this kettle steaming?
[group laughs]
- Well, I, it seems like we're,
I've never been under this
amount of pressure time-wise.
This was sort of a longer,
like a longer gestating thing for me.
But maybe we just go up
there and just get them
to be honest with each
other, just be like,
"Hey, you love each other."
[group laughs]
Fabian, okay, is that right?
- What if we just like okay,
so everything's going well
with them, right?
- Yeah.
- Maybe we just need to like open a door,
like open a door for them.
Make it clear that
there's like a clear room
like a hookup-
- Like a hookup room, yeah.
- Which is a classic
thing, there's a room.
- Yeah, we go to Ragh and
we're like, "Hey Ragh.
It seems like you left
something in Corey's room."
- Ooh, that's it, ooh, I liked
that, I liked that a lot.
- I forgot to wink for a long time.
- Yo, you left something Corey's room.
- And Corey, I think you and
Ragh, you have to help him.
- It's big, we'll say it's big.
We'll say it's like a large thing,
and that that could be a metaphor
or like we're talking
about his p*nis maybe.
And that's, and that's
ultimately gonna kind
of build the mystique.
[overlapping chattering]
A big thing in Corey's room
that could be his p*nis.
I don't know. [laughs]
- What if we go into, okay, so Corey is,
if he's like any older brother,
he probably gets super
steamed when people go
into his room, right?
- Yeah.
- So why don't we go to his room-
- While you guys are hatching this plan,
I have to use the bathroom, keep planning.
I'm so sorry, Roll 20.
- Okay, so-
- I got pie, it's cool.
- All we do is we sneak into Corey's room.
We turn the light on,
Corey will get mad-
- And then he sees it.
- He sees it, him and
Ragh will go check it out,
but we will have already
turned the lights off
and it'll be like, maybe
somebody just popped in,
saw that it was his room and left,
but that just kind of
opens the door for them,
and they can-
- Should we cover his bed in rose petals?
- Do you have roses?
- I don't.
- I could write a,
I have my calligraphy supplies.
I could write something sweet and sexy
on the bed on like the
sheets or something.
- I think this is perfect,
I think this is a great-
- I mean, I think that would be, [laughs]
if I just wrote a little
haiku, write down-
- Yes, let's write it, five syllables,
seven syllables, five syllables.
- Ragh has been in his
sight the whole time.
It's just the only, it's
just the only problem I see.
And look, and again, I don't
know anything about hooking up.
I don't know anything about hooking up,
but she just logistic
wise, Ragh has fully been
in Corey's sight the entire time.
- Yeah, totally. [laughs]
[overlapping chattering]
- Corey-
- In his room, and put roses there-
- We are sorry.
- For what?
- Ragh didn't, did not
leave anything
there.
You two are in love.
- Boom I think that's it.
Well, exactly, 'cause Riz, it's not about
that Ragh wrote it, it's
just meant to stimulate them
and get the steam in the
kettle really steaming.
- Just as far as the steam
and the kettle thing,
I feel like the steam is
already in the kettle.
And what we might do is
just turn the stove off
if we do too much, I'm
saying maybe instead
of doing like four steps, we just do one.
- Interesting.
- All right, I mean, hey, it's a thought.
- We could always, we could write a poem,
we could slip it in if need be.
- Yeah, write that down
and we'll just throw it in,
the ace up the sleeve.
- A contingency poem.
- Yes, all right, what was it again?
I get out my calligraphy tools real quick.
- Corey,
Corey, we are sorry.
Ragh did not leave any,
wait, [laughs] anything here.
- No, we can make that
work, I'll hyphenate it-
[overlapping chattering]
- You two are in love.
- Boom, all right,
contingency poem prepared.
All right, let's go execute this plan.
- Cool, so you guys have
walked into this party,
immediately stopped the music, panic,
come up with this plan
and are now gonna walk back up
out of Max's party, correct?
- Is there a way from the
basement into the house itself
that doesn't involve going
through the tornado doors?
- Go ahead, you know what?
I'm gonna do a luck check right now.
You want a number higher than a 10.
stone staircase going up
into the house.
- Great.
- Riz, do your thing.
- All right, I will find Corey's room
and I will turn the lights on.
His older brother alarm will go off.
Him and Ragh will go in,
hopefully they'll hook up.
If they don't hook up,
contingency poem, bam, bad boys.
And then I [whooshes] go for it.
- Okay, you scoot up into the house, Riz.
The door to the basement
opens up in the kitchen,
which is very brightly lit up here.
You see this as a bunch
of Corey's friends.
You see that there is a,
this kind of like deep indigo starry,
like a purple blue skinned looking almost,
it looks partially genasi, almost like a
partially celestial
nighttime sky genasi up there
with thick glasses, small little mustache,
who's sort of holding court with a bunch
of college kids up here being like,
"Well, that's the thing, I mean,
the Council of Chosen
was specifically designed
to dilute the power of these
individual regions, right?
Like that kind of
representative government,"
and launches into this sort of,
it's like the kitchen of the college party
where people are talking
theory, college politics.
It sounds like an interesting
conspiracy theory going
on over here.
Go ahead and give me
stealth and investigation.
- Oh boy, okay, let's start with stealth.
[Lou mumbles]
Let's start with stealth.
Ooh,
I got a four, so I got a 17 on stealth,
and then investigation is a nat 20.
- Hell yes.
So you only got a 17 stealth,
a nat 20 investigation.
Riz, you find Corey's room,
open it up and fail your stealth check
because you open it wide
to find two totally unrelated
people hooking up in here.
- Sorry!
- Dude, shut the door.
- Okay.
- Shut the door,
shut the door.
- Okay, okay.
Okay, sorry, I slam the door in a way
where I'm trying to rattle
it so that Corey hears,
or there's a commotion.
- Cool, bam, you shut the door, commotion.
Yeah, I think you looked
down at the bottom
of the staircase and see Corey
right inside the front door,
getting a drink and handing
one to his fire genasi friend,
to this other kind of
aasimar friend of his,
and one to Ragh, as well,
as they all start drinking.
But they're all in the house here.
- Okay, I'm gonna
yell out,
"Somebody in Corey's room,"
in a voice that's not Riz's voice.
- Sounds like Jerry Seinfeld.
- Make a deception check.
- What's the deal with,
who's in here, whoa.
Somebody's in Corey's room.
Goddammit, that's a four.
- Cool, you yell that, and the people
in the party look at you yelling about,
being like, oh, two people
went into a room together
at a party?
- Corey's room!
He probably has cool sheets
and those people are just in them.
- Corey looks up at you and
furrows in his eyebrows,
and Ragh [indistinct] up at you.
As you make eye contact with Ragh,
do you try to communicate
anything to Ragh in this moment?
- Yeah, I'm like.
- Yeah, you see Ragh's like,
"Let me go take care of this,"
and walks up, and he's
like, "What's up, Riz?
What's going on, man?"
- Hey, how's everything going with Corey?
'Cause our lives kind of depend on it.
- He looks at you and
says, "What do you mean?
Oh, the stealth thing?"
- Yeah, he's gonna k*ll us tonight,
is the problem, and also, I am,
this is disrespectful, and I'm just,
[laughing drowns out speaker]
no one else thinks it is
'cause that's his bed,
you know what I mean?
- Dude, do you, I think you, okay.
- I've never been to a,
I've been to one party
that, I think you've been
to every party that I've been at.
- Sure, okay, so I
understand what you mean,
and yes, there's a certain degree,
but that's not a hangup
that Corey specifically has
and that's kind of the vibe
at these parties sort of in general.
- Is this a formal thing?
- Yeah, man, I'm trying
to break this to you
in a way that doesn't make
you feel bad, but yeah.
It's not-
- This is,
okay.
Anyway.
- You see he looks at you and says,
"Dude, no one has ever died
in a stealth mode before."
He's goes, "it's a feigned death spell."
He goes, "It's feigned death, it's never,
Corey is never actually
not driving the car.
It's fine, it's just
to freak you guys out.
It's gonna be totally fine."
- Oh.
So he's not passed out, he's just a maniac
with his lights off driving
super fast on the highway.
- Yeah, it's just that
people impossibly dangerous.
- That's, yeah, that's,
yeah, okay, no, then, or.
I hand him the contingency poem? [laughs]
- He looks at your contingency poem.
Hey, Fabian, were you the
one that wrote this poem?
- I wrote it down, Gorgug wrote it.
- Gorgug, go ahead and give
me a performance check.
- Absolutely.
- Using charisma as the
modifier here, by the way.
- Yeah, well.
That's a five.
- Ragh looks at, Gorgug, do
you want to just give us,
I think you could probably
improvise a five poem for sure.
- Yeah, this is a, well,
I've said it a couple
of times already, but I'll
give it one more time-
- While you were in the
bathroom, we wrote it.
- Got you.
- Corey, we are sorry.
Ragh didn't,
I forgot it. [laughs]
- [Brian] Wasn't it, it was like,
"Ragh didn't leave anything."
- Ragh didn't, not leave anything,
you two are in love.
- Ragh looks at this and you see red creep
into the corner of his eyes.
He takes the poem,
crumples it up, he goes,
"Riz, I love you with all my heart."
- I love you too, Ragh, what's up?
- Let me be so super clear right now.
If you or any of the other
bros had passed this poem
to Corey, I would have bounced your a*s up
and down the street until
you were unconscious.
Do you get where that's coming from?
- And that's why it's a contingency poem.
And that's why it was a contingency poem.
- And I, and I appreciate
that the poem wasn't plan A,
I actually really do, B is still too high,
and in fact, so would any
letter of the alphabet be here.
[overlapping chattering]
- Okay, yeah, just a contingency,
it was an emergency poem.
- You see that Corey calls
from the bottom of the stairs
and says, "Ragh, get your boys,
let's do it, time to ride."
He says, "We need more beers anyway."
And you see, Ragh is like, "Chill.
All right, go get your
bros, let's hop in the car."
- All right, I go downstairs.
- How did it go?
- How did it go, did it work?
[overlapping chattering]
- The contingency poem went over terribly.
Ragh briefly went back to being a bully,
threatened to bounce me like-
- Like a ball.
- Kind of a ball.
- We were back, it was like
day one with Ragh with that.
He really had to hold it back.
I almost completely took out
any character development
and just sent him all the way back.
[group laughs]
But-
- Wow.
- You should have given it to Corey.
- No, no, no.
[overlapping chattering]
I, actually the contingency
poem never existed,
okay, so there's that.
But here's the-
- I just worked really hard on it.
- Okay, first off, did
you know that people,
did you know that people hook
up in other people's beds?
- What, that's nasty.
- Isn't that rude?
- If either one of you ever
kissed someone in my bed,
we would have-
- Those are your sheets, Fabian.
- Those are my sheets.
- Yeah, that seems gross.
- Those are his sheets, anyway.
Yeah, so it turns out that he is
actually going to be driving the car.
It's just a feign death spell,
so he's not actually out.
So it's just a maniac
driving down the highway
without his lights on-
- He's just pretending, okay.
- Yeah.
- We just have to pretend to be scared.
- Oh, should we pretend?
I was thinking we could
do the reverse and,
because we know he's not
actually feigning death,
we'll be all relaxed and
like, "This doesn't scare us,"
and then we will be
the kings of the party.
- He's going to k*ll us, Fabian.
- It's just a feigned death spell-
- Let's just be normal level of scared
'cause it's gonna be scary.
- I don't know, we'll see
how I feel in the moment.
- Cool,
do you guys do anything at the party
before going back up to the driveway
and getting in the car with Corey?
- I think I take a selfie
of the bad boys holding
one beer between us, all-
- Yeah, us sharing one beer.
- Yeah.
- We got one third, one third of the beer.
- It's more than one sixth.
[overlapping chattering]
- [indistinct] do you
just take it on the phone?
You don't publish it anywhere
or anything like that, right?
You just take it on the phone?
- This is just for, I mean, I can put,
you guys, should I post it?
I don't know if it's,
I took it more as like a keepsake, 'cause-
- This is for us-
- Yeah, exactly.
- A couple of key chains made.
- We could get it printed
off and we could hang it up.
[overlapping chattering]
- You guys head up to the driveway.
Corey and Ragh are there, you see,
Corey looks at you guys,
he's like, "All right,
back seat, fellas, let's go."
He hops in the driver's
seat, and you see Ragh jumps
into the shotgun seat, as well.
- I lean over to the guys and I'm like,
"Guys, I think, I think we play it cool.
I mean, he's not gonna k*ll,
he's in love with Ragh, he won't k*ll him,
so this, listen, I think we,
we play this into our hand."
- I understand, I'm just saying
that the contingency poem,
the same people who came up
with the contingency poem idea,
we should just do the exact opposite
of whatever we think is a good idea, okay?
- I'll see how I feel
in the moment, I guess.
[group laughs]
Inside of this.
- You guys crowd to the backseat.
You see, as Corey is buckling
and turning the thing on,
you see that, oh, sorry-
- Wait, you're putting on a seatbelt?
- Corey does not,
[overlapping chattering]
Okay, I red line that immediately.
Ragh does buckle up, but turns
around, winks at you guys,
and gives you all a sort
of reassuring thumbs up.
All of you make perception checks for me.
- 11.
- 21.
- Wait a second, I roll a 19, nevermind.
I don't know, I'm curious,
what's going on with Ragh?
- You can make an insight
check if you want.
- Let's see.
I rolled a 19 perception,
but insight, I'll just,
it's a three, it's about a three.
- Gorgug.
- No, no, don't do it.
[overlapping chattering]
- No, we've come so far.
No, we can't go, no more
sacrificing character development.
[group laughs]
- That was not, listen, Ragh's
had a lot of development.
That poem, any reasonable person would go
into a quasi rage at that f*cking poem.
Unforgivable.
[group laughs]
- I love the idea of a
Ragh just fully having,
he's like, "I just have
to become a bully again,
"I have to, you completely
left me absolutely no choice."
- You've backed me into a
corner, this is unforgivable.
- What [indistinct] punch you in the gut.
[group laughs]
- You look at Ragh, Ragh,
you actually realized,
you guys never asked,
but Ragh has possibly done
this before and survived.
That's where Ragh's
confidence is coming from,
is that he's lived through this
extremely ill-advised thing.
By the way, I feel very uncle doing this,
but hey, don't do this at home.
This is a very dumb thing that I read
or heard about when I was in high school
and I'm gonna be a dad, dad
mode for a second and say,
we do not endorse this bad
behavior of, of stealth mode.
It's very funny, don't do it.
That's the least cool
thing I've ever done,
but I'm just saying that for the record.
That's how I feel.
You guys take off down the
driveway, Corey's driving.
Ragh gives you a thumbs up.
Fabian, you got a 21 perception?
- Yeah.
- You look back up at the sky.
As you're pulling onto a
sort of ramp heading up
to the highway, near Krom's Diner,
you look up at, there's one
of those weird street lamps
for a rural intersection.
Up on top of the metal beam,
you look and see, as you're
pulling to the highway,
a filthy
oil and muck-covered pelican,
just there sort of
dripping with weirdness.
And as you pull onto the
highway, it takes flight,
flapping its wings, and heads
off into the nighttime sky.
- Hey, bad boys,
I'm keeping a lid on all
of the weird reality stuff
from that dwarf smoke, right?
I'm keeping that to myself,
or am I sharing that?
- Was there something,
did you see something?
- Yeah, what's up?
- I saw a greasy pelican
on a lamppost, nowhere near water.
So that feels, I don't know
if that's reality stuff
or what's going on.
- Thundering music comes
on as you hit the highway,
and Corey turns the speakers
up to full enormous.
It's like the kind of thudding,
you know that Corey
replaced his entire trunk
with just a subwoofer,
just like thundering,
bone-shaking bass in the car.
Takes off, you see Ragh kind
of looks over and smiles.
Corey turns back and shouting, goes,
"You guys ready for some stealth mode?"
- f*ck yeah.
- No.
- Yeah, I can't, put it on.
- No!
- Ragh goes, "Woo," Corey hits the lights.
You're screaming down the
highway in pitch black,
and he goes unconscious.
I'm gonna need everyone here
to make an arcana check for me.
- Oh, we're not.
- Pretty not bad.
- Okay.
- Oh, I rolled a dirty 20.
- I got a 16.
- How is it possible that I have,
I can't have proficiency in arcana.
Why would I proficiency in
arcana, this seems wrong.
- Maybe you do.
- I got a 25,
I rolled a nat 19 and I have plus six.
- We k*lled this.
- Corey clicks a thing on the gas pedal,
the car locks into
overdrive, lights go out.
You are screaming down the
highway, Ragh goes, "Woo!"
On the 20,
Gorgug,
you notice the feign death spell,
but something goes wrong with it.
Riz, on a 25, a spell effect from the sky
just hit Corey in the front seat.
- The bird k*lled Corey.
[Lou yells]
- [Zac] Wait, a bird, the
greasy pelican's real?
- Car is tearing down
the highway in the dark.
No lights around you right now.
You see the Corey is sort
of again unconscious there.
You see that Ragh is going, [growls]
is raging on music in the front seat.
Boys night, boys night-
- Boys night, boys night.
- Fabian, what is your
roll in your arcana?
- 16.
- But you got that 21 perception, right?
- Yeah.
- You look behind you, it's
pitch black everywhere.
Stealth mode, baby,
screaming down the highway,
faintest little bit of moonlight.
Your eyes begin to are starting to adjust
to the night vision, as a circle
of
blasted glowing
lime green
runes appear
on the highway behind you.
You see the trees all around
you are buckling and bending
in gale force winds in
this cold fall evening.
The runes erupt, and as they fade,
a piece of black smoke,
noxious and choking,
appears in the highway behind you.
Your other companions haven't seen it yet.
Thundering out of the
runes, illuminated only
for the briefest moment, in
the sickly lime green light,
barreling on all fours like an animal,
is Chungledown Bim.
[group laughs]
- I think Fabian immediately
stops screaming, "Boys night,"
and goes just sickly
pale, and is just like,
"Hey guys, I don't want to be,
we're never doing drugs again
because I'm high and
Chugledown Bim just appeared
on the highway, and I'm
now, drugs are so bad."
- So you decided to be
scared, I don't understand-
- No, I'm not, I mean, he's not there
'cause it's just the realities-
- Riz has just not stopped screaming,
Just the one long sustained scream
and I'm gonna turn the headlights on.
- Well, actually what I'm gonna
need, first of all, Fabian,
is I'm gonna need a flat charisma check
to actually yell what you're saying
over the thudding music in the car.
- That's gonna be 21.
- So Fabian yells-
- Chuckle, I'm never doing drugs.
[overlapping chattering]
And I saw Chugledown Bim.
- Boys night, boys night.
- I'm high, and I'm-
- You're high?
[overlapping chattering]
- I'm gonna need a perception checks
with advantage from Gorgug and Riz.
- This is unbelievable, I
just rolled another nat 20.
[overlapping chattering]
- I'm on a 23.
[overlapping chattering]
- Riz, you rip around with a spotlight
on your Arcadian watch, and just, boom,
hit the back of the road, and again,
like some kind of feral predator just,
you see, "Oh, the spell
caster's are out of town,
boy ohs." [laughs manically]
[overlapping chattering]
- No, he's not, I'm high, I'm high.
[overlapping chattering]
- I slap Fabian in the face, "He's real!
Chugledown Bim is real."
[overlapping chattering]
- Ragh turns around and
he's like, "Yeah, oh sh*t!
Corey, wake up, Corey, Corey?"
And you hear Corey,
unlike what a feign death spell would do,
go, [imitates snoring] and just snore.
Corey got hit with some
kind of sleep spell
and is fully unconscious
in the front seat.
I'm gonna need everybody
here to roll initiative.
- We're not slowing down
this car, all right?
I just want to be clear.
- Yes, we are.
- No, we are not.
Okay.
- Okay, what did we get?
- 19.
- 23.
- Okay, let's go through
that one more time, please.
Who, did anyone here get above a 20?
- 23.
- Fabian with the 23, did
anyone get above a 15?
- 19.
- Gorgug with a 19, Riz, what did you get?
- 14.
- Riz got a 14.
Incredible, okay.
You are in stealth mode,
screaming down the highway.
Corey is unconscious, Ragh is screaming.
The rest of you are screaming
and Chugledown is sprinting.
Chugledown's going, running on all fours,
about 90 miles an hour.
- I hate this so much, you just took this
from a fun boys night to like,
I'm not having fun anymore.
[overlapping chattering]
This is too much, this is too much.
Why did you bring
Chugledown Bim into this-
- 90 miles an hour?
[group laughs]
It's so fast.
[group laughs]
- Okay.
That's going to be, so Fabian,
you are first to act, my friend.
- I look at the guys and I'm
like, we can't slow down.
That's the one thing, I
don't know what we do,
but we cannot slow down.
Can I do a perception check?
Do I think Chugledown Bim
will catch us at this speed?
- Give me, yeah, give
me a perception check.
- That is 16.
- You think he will catch you
if you remain at this speed.
- Do I think this car can go faster?
- There is a jug of Uncle
Pappy's Dag Nasty Rocket Hooch.
- I look at Gorgug and I'm
like, "You're the best driver,
do not let him catch us."
And I'm gonna grab Uncle,
grand Pappy's Hooch.
I'm gonna make my, I would
like to climb out of the car
and onto the hood.
I guess I would like to, I'd
like to push Corey aside.
I'd like to like pull whatever lever it is
to unlatch the, or to pop the hood up.
- Cool.
[overlapping chattering]
Cool, you grabbed the hooch,
that's your odd interaction.
You're gonna need to use
an action to pull the,
to pull the hood.
Go ahead and give me an acrobatics check.
- Okay.
I get plus 13 on this, so.
Yeah, we'll do a big old 22.
- Nice.
- You reach down, boom.
The car is going 90 miles
an hour, and the hood pops.
We are going to, I'm trying to think
where we can be over,
I'm gonna go just to our
start page for roll 20,
just to start doing some rolls
in front of the board here.
So we're not on a specific map.
We're just sort of on the
Dimension 20 home page right now.
And let's see here.
I'm gonna do this roll, this first role
on the Dimension 20 screen
in front of the board.
This is a luck check to see what happens
when the hood flaps up.
You want high, not low.
- Come on.
- 19, incredible.
- Oh Jesus.
It didn't roll for me, so-
- Yeah, I don't see it.
- I was just waiting for a reaction.
- Oh no, it managed to slide
underneath the board, 19.
You hit the thing, the hood flies up
and skids past the car.
It hits the corner of the
windshield, cracking it,
and thuds, the force of the
wind rips it off the car.
And I'm gonna make a saving
throw for Chugledown Bim.
On a natural four, Chugledown
Bim loses some distance on you
from having to dodge the
hood as he's sprinting
on all fours down the road.
Fabian,
you have used your ops
interaction and your action,
you have movement left.
- Yeah, I climb out onto the hood
and position myself as best as I can.
Can I figure out where,
do I remember where he
poured the hooch in?
- Yes, I believe you do, here's the deal.
Climbing out onto the hood
of a car through the window
as it's going 90 miles an hour
is a DC 25 acrobatics check.
If you fail to hit a DC 20,
we will be in a very bad situation.
- Okay.
- Go ahead and roll.
- I need, it's a DC 25,
so I need a 12 or higher?
- You need a seven or higher
to avoid something bad happening.
- Oh no.
- What'd you get?
- Three, you didn't get
another one, did you?
- No, that's a three for a 16.
- Okay.
- Fabian,
I'm going to need one more,
I'm gonna need a DC 20
dexterity saving throw,
and then I'm gonna give
you a very terrible choice.
- Okay, wait, okay-
- Give me the DC 20-
[overlapping chattering]
- Give me one second to see
if there's anything else
I can do that I should have
thought of longer and harder.
[Lou hums "Amazing Grace"]
[group laughs]
- Oh my God.
- Okay.
[overlapping chattering]
Sorry, I forgot I have spells.
Let me check my spells real quick.
- [Brennan] I will need
that dex save pretty much no matter what.
- Yeah, I just wanted to make sure, okay.
Okay, yeah, okay, I don't
have anything, okay-
- [Brian] You got this,
this is a nat 20 coming up.
- [Zac] Here it is, here it is.
[overlapping chattering]
- What do you need for this dex save?
- DC 20.
- [Brian] Guaranteed nat 20 coming up.
- Yeah, we did it, oh, we did it.
Everyone at home, let go
of your butts, we did it.
That's gonna be a-
- Let go of your butt.
- Let go of your damn
butts 'cause that's a 22.
- Nice.
- Cool.
So you failed the acrobatics by a lot,
that something bad's gonna happen,
but you hit your dex save by enough
that I'm gonna let you choose.
- Okay, thank God.
- Do you want something
bad to happen to your body
or to the jug of liquor?
You can protect one of them
at the expense of the other.
- I mean, my body will take the hit,
the liquor must survive.
- Fabian, you crawl out of the window.
The car hits a pothole in the highway.
You drop reflexively, grab the liquor,
hit the road, are going to
take a tremendous amount
of damage right now.
- Oh, God.
- And snag your shirt on the tailpipe,
going under the car momentarily,
get your magical sneakers up
on the road and are skinning
with sparks flying out from
your sneakers suspended
by your shirt tucked
up around your armpit,
arching your back to keep up off the road,
with the intact jug of liquor after taking
- Okay.
Whew.
- So, jug, so again, tailpipe, shirt,
you are behind the car.
Your head is pressed up
against the back bumper.
You've got your sneakers
up, arching your back,
holding the jug.
So you're not taking more
damage, but you are there.
And now you are just that
much closer to Chugledown Bim,
who you can now see. [laughs manically]
- And is a music still
blaring, so they can't like-
- Oh, there's zero communication,
thundering music coming out,
and still sh**ting down the highway
in pitch darkness, boys night.
[group laughs]
Incredible, that is now going to be,
or Fabian, is that the end of your turn?
- I mean, if there's no
communication possible,
I don't think there's anything I can-
- At somebody?
- I mean, I don't think you
guys can hear me over the,
I was gonna throw a [indistinct]
on one of you through the windshield,
but that's not the occasion no more.
So yeah,
I hold on for dear life.
- Incredible.
Gorgug, that's gonna be you, baby.
- Okay, I am gonna try to pull
Corey out of the front seat.
He's not buckled up, right?
- No, he's not.
- So I'm gonna go into a rage
and try to toss him out of the seat.
- Into the backseat
where Fabian was sitting?
- Yeah.
- Go ahead and give me, give me just a DC,
pulling someone through, I'll
say DC 15, you can do it.
DC 20, you can do it
like pretty effortlessly
as just your object interaction.
- Cool, and I'm in a rage, so
I get advantage.
I got a 14.
- Damn, you go into a
rage and start pulling.
And as you are pulling him, you see
that his foot is partially
attached to the gas pedal
at the front of the thing.
You're just having a hard
time getting his body there.
So I don't think you're
gonna move his body.
- All right, so I'm just
gonna lean over with my ax
and just put my ax on his foot,
just to gas it, and just try to steer it
with my other hand.
- Cool, so you are driving now.
It's your action to put your
foot there to hit faster.
So now you're weighing down his foot
to hit the gas as hard as possible.
You take an action,
start steering the car.
Go ahead and just give me
dexterity plus proficiency.
- Okay.
- [Brian] Should we run
over Chugledown Bim-
- Nat 20.
- Nice, nat 20, Gorgug,
you have dark vision.
It's only out to 60 feet,
but you are tearing through the night,
leaning out of the back of seat
with your hands on the wheels,
thundering music over Corey's
body, boys night, incredible.
- Boys night!
- Boys night.
- Boys night!
- Riz, that's gonna be you.
- Oh boy, I can't find
it on my character sheet,
but I could have sworn that,
doesn't the Gukgak g*n have a thing
that can trap people like a net thing?
- If you go into your
equipment, you can see it there.
In your equipment there
should be grappling canister,
net b*llet, tranquilizer
dart, everything like that.
- Oh, net b*ll*ts, that is what I want.
Great, I'm going to sh**t a
net b*llet at Chugledown Bim.
- Ooh, baby, here we go, go ahead,
go ahead and make your attack roll.
- Sweet, I will do it on roll 20.
I have a plus 10.
So roll-
- Only 20 plus 10.
- 19.
- 19 to hit, to hit Mr. Bim.
- 19's gonna hit the Bim, dude.
- As a reaction, he casts shield,
which immediately raises his armor class
to exactly 19, you still hit.
- Yes.
[overlapping chattering]
- Incredible, we're
gonna go ahead and roll,
so it's a DC 15 dexterity saving throw,
which means that on,
there's a good chance he won't make it.
He's got a plus three to this
and normally he would be able to do magic,
but there's no magic.
You're just firing a net
out of the g*n at him.
So let's see here.
He needs to roll a 12 or higher
with a roll in front of the board.
Three.
- Whoa.
- Riz Gukgak, you lean out of the window,
take out your g*n, pull the trigger.
Chugledown, [laughs manically]
and is fully restrained
and skids in the net.
He's gonna take the same amount of damage
that Fabian just took, just like scraping
'cause he's running 90 miles an hour.
Just like face planting-
- God. [laughs]
- Yeah, he takes a kind
of significant amount
of damage, like grinding
into the highway, incredible.
Riz, anything else from you that turn?
- I turn the hazards on.
[group laughs]
- So now there's still no
lights but just little red,
red markers in the darkness.
- Turn the lights on.
- I'll turn the lights on as well.
- Oh God.
Hold on one second.
Go ahead actually and just give me a,
give me a quick investigation
check to find the lights.
- Okay, I have very good investigate,
nat 11
plus 10, 21.
- As funny as it would
have been to fail that,
you find the lights, turn them on.
The car comes out of stealth mode.
- And the hazards are on.
And I turn the volume of the music down
to a reasonable level.
- Amazing.
You guys see,
Okay,
after that, it is gonna be Ragh's turn.
Ragh is gonna try to get
Corey out of Gorgug's way.
He goes into a rage, as
well, and on a natural 19,
pulls Corey out of your way, Gorgug.
He actually just fully pulls
Corey into the shotgun seat
with him, kind of holding
him in his arms like this.
He's like, "Rock and roll,
dude, let's go, boys night."
I am going to need, after that,
we're gonna make just a constitution save
for Corey to come out of
this situation that he's in.
On a 15 or higher, he's
gonna get the job done.
That's a seven, Corey's still out.
- Dang.
- Cool.
- There's also that bird.
I start yelling about the
bird, what's up with the bird?
- Was he the bird?
- I think it's his familiar.
- On Chugledown's turn,
he has lost a tremendous amount of speed.
He takes an action to cast far step,
teleport 60 feet out of the net,
and continue thundering
down the highway after you.
That is, but go ahead and make
an arcana check, everybody.
- I think I got a 20, a dirty 20-
- 16.
- 10.
- Dirty 20, Fabian?
Fabian, as you look at him
cast a teleportation spell,
I think you know that he is a warlock.
He doesn't have infinite
spell slots, right?
He doesn't even, he
doesn't have that many.
If it took, if he found some way
to teleport here and he
just uses other stuff,
he clearly has some spell on him
that's making him go super fast.
You know that there are, it's 50 50 odds
that that was his last spell slot
to teleport out of that net.
- Great.
- He's thundering down
the highway after you.
We go back to the top of the order.
You [indistinct], Fabian, that is you.
- I would like to claw my
way up from the tailpipe.
- Hell yeah, go ahead
and give me acrobats-
- A horror movie, okay.
Will a 19 do it?
- 19, I'm gonna say on a 19-
- Oh, excuse me, no, it's more than a 19.
No, it's a 19, it's a 19. [laughs]
- On a 19, on a 19, I
think you can get back up
onto the trunk of the car
if you take one D six damage to do so.
- All day.
- Two points of damage-
- If it means more space
between me and Chugledown Bim,
there's nothing my body can't take.
And then I would like to go,
can I climb all the way over the car
to the back to where I would like,
where I want to be this whole time?
- 19 gets you with some damage up
to the trunk as your movement.
If you want to do more,
it's gonna take an action.
- Yeah, I'll do that.
- Cool, give me another acrobatics check.
- 16.
- 16, all told?
- Don't say it like that.
Say, "Wow, that's high."
Say, "That passes most moderate DCs,"
and tell me I'm good, please?
- I'm gonna, yes, I understand that.
Okay, on a 16,
on a 16, I'm gonna ask
Fabian to make a wager.
Thudding subwoofer
underneath you, thudding-
- At a more moderate level.
- That's right, a more moderate.
where you want to move,
but only with some risk involved
that will be moderated by
a dexterity saving throw.
So, so we either,
either you can stay put and take an action
that you can do from
a stationary position,
or you can go and move
where you want to move,
but take some risk.
- This is Fabian Aramaris
Seacaster. [laughs]
Risk is my second middle
name, let's go for it.
- Give me the dex save, baby.
- Please be a nat 20.
I'll roll this in front of the board.
This feels board worthy.
Okay, one D 20, yeah.
Okay, that's a 17.
- 17, cool, you can either
get up onto the roof
or back into the car.
- The roof.
- Oh no.
- Okay, Fabian, you've got your hooch.
You have got your hooch
and you've gotten back up onto the roof.
We're gonna roll a luck
check in front of the board
after Fabian's turn,
you want high, not low.
- Wait, one, hold on.
I was going to action
surge and keep going.
- Okay, go ahead and action surge.
- I'd like to keep moving
toward the front of the car.
- Okay, this is gonna be easier
because you're hanging onto the roof.
We just need
a DC 15
acrobatics, go ahead and roll.
- That's a two, that's only a two.
Even a two would do it,
and I wouldn't roll less than a two.
Ah, that's a 23.
- We're fine.
- Fabian, you get to the front.
You have an object interaction left,
and you have done everything
to protect the jug
of Uncle Pappy's Dag Nasty Rocket Hooch.
What do you do as you get
to the front of the car?
- I look back at Gorgug and
I say, "It's junior year.
And I still believe in you,"
And I give him bardic
inspiration, and I just pour.
- We're gonna narrate what happens
'cause you're all going
so, so fast right now.
Gorgug, you have that bardic inspiration.
You know something intense is gonna happen
as Fabian pours that into,
into the engine.
What do you do on your turn?
Also, remember, you have the
heavy metal ax down there,
but Corey has been pulled out
of the driver's seat right now.
- Okay, I probably just move
the ax a little out of the way.
And Fabian's just on the hood of the car?
- His, you actually can see his stomach
and chest and arms pressed
against windshield,
with just his head, like one,
he's holding the windshield wipers
with his legs up on the roof,
reaching into the open
engine to pour the gas in.
If you were to hit
something or stop suddenly,
Fabian would be a f*cking
comet in the sky right now.
- All right, I'm just
gonna, I'm very strong.
I'm gonna one hand the
wheel, break the windshield.
- Hell yes, we're gonna act.
- Boys night.
- And as soon as it feels like
we've gotten the fuel in the car,
I'm gonna try to pull Fabian in.
- Okay.
You're gonna go ahead
and break the windshield
to pull Fabian in?
Go ahead and make an
attack, adjust against the-
- I automatically crit on objects, right?
- Oh Jesus, it's the heavy metal ax.
Dude, you tap the windshield
with your ax and it shatters
as Fabian goes to move that.
Go ahead and give me,
again, dex plus proficiency.
And you do have that bardic inspiration.
Give me one more drive check here.
- Okay, dex plus proficiency, so.
Okay,
rolled a 17, so, plus five, and I didn't,
but proficiency from, yeah, so 22.
- Great.
- Incredible, you got that 22.
Fabian goes, you shatter the windshield.
Riz, what are you doing in this round
as Fabian goes to put the hooch in
and Gorgug goes to get
Fabian back in the car?
- I will use the help action
to help Gorgug pull Fabian into the car.
- Hell yeah.
I'll also go ahead and say that
Riz I think can probably just do
that for free in this moment
because smashing the windshield
is gonna make it very easy
to pull you in, so I'll let you even,
just as an object interaction,
give an advantage to Gorgug to do that.
So if there's anything else you wanna do
on your turn as well,
feel absolutely free to.
- I guess I'll sh**t a tranquilizer dart
at Chugledown Bim, I think.
I hope we're gonna get away anyway,
but I guess I'll try to take him down.
[overlapping chattering]
- You also do have another,
another net canister, as well.
- Oh, okay.
- But up to you, but
tranquilizer's great, as well.
- Okay, yeah, I'll try
the tranquilizer this time
because I think, yeah.
- Cool, cool.
- Actually, no, let's do
the net, let's do the net.
- Okay, we'll do the net.
Once again, you want him
to roll an 11 or lower.
We're gonna do it in front of the board.
- Okay.
- 16, dammit, he leaps out of the way
as the net shoots up down the thing.
You had 22 on your drive check, Gorgug.
Fabian, you go to pour
the hooch into the thing.
You watch as Chugledown
narrowly dodges the net,
which means that everything
is riding on this.
Let me ask you the question.
Do you pour a little bit, which
you know will give you some-
- All of it, all of it, as much as I,
we're talking about Chugledown
Bim, all right, my guy?
This is every, I shake it, I shake it.
- I am gonna need from Gorgug,
with the help action from Riz
means you roll with advantage.
I'm going to need an attack roll,
which is just gonna be your dexterity,
plus your proficiency modifier,
and you're trying to hit
Fabian's armor class of 19.
- Sorry, I need an attack
roll, unarmed attack?
- Yes, sorry, it is your unarmed attack.
Yeah, so it's just a plus nine.
So you're rolling with advantage.
You need a 10 or higher.
- I rolled a 19 on the die.
- Fabian, you hit the jug.
You just plant the jug in the open gasket.
You feel the engine warp under the power
of this nasty, nasty liquor.
Through the shattered windshield,
Gorgug and Riz both reach
out, along with Ragh, as well,
who goes like, "Hooray,
boys night," grabs-
- Boys night, boys night.
- Boys night.
- Boys night!
- Boys night.
- Pulling through the windshield.
A moment of time
expands past you,
maybe as some recollection of that smoke
that got breathed into your lungs.
You watch this terrifying
college kid snoozing gently
in Ragh's lap, as he and
Gorgug and Riz grab onto you.
Glass everywhere, the smell of alcohol,
Fabian, terrible road
rash on one of your arms.
All of you completely, the thudding music,
now somewhat lessened,
ripples move around the car,
as you feel something in the engine change
and accept Uncle Pappy's
Dag Nasty Rocket Hooch.
Gorgug, you hold onto the
wheel, as Chugledown leaps
for the back bumper,
[laughs manically] "Fabian!"
Pixels, sparks, as he is engulfed
in an eruption of flame from
the muffler, [imitates yelling]
covering Chugledown Bim.
The sky turns into motes of
lights that stream past you
as you break some kind
of cosmic speed barrier.
Gorgug, you steer through time and space,
as best you can, with the
sensation that you are going
in multiple directions at once.
All of you have a brief moment where
you are suspended in complete safety,
just with each other,
Chugledown Bim is gone.
Elmville is gone, Spyre is gone,
and you are just looking at each other
in a realm of pure velocity,
as you have done something to this car.
And you have a moment of
looking at each other,
all of you who have once again
saved each other's lives,
in this moment before you come out
of whatever state this is.
Is there anything that you do or say?
- Boys night.
- Boys night.
- We really, we did it, we really did it.
- Should I see if I can
aim this at the LAN party?
[group laughs]
- Yeah, let's go to Shellford's.
Let's go to Shellford's.
- It's probably not too late.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Ragh's like, "Hell yeah, boys night.
Let's go to that LAN party."
Give me one last, just a
flat arcana roll, Gorgug.
- Dirty 20.
- Gorgug, you come out
of this suspended state
as the sun is rising,
and you are
on a beach in Harroway Bay,
like a couple hours away.
- Oh, this is not Shellford's.
- This is so far away.
Well, I'm sorry, I thought
I did good. [laughs]
- You look around and you see,
as you're looking around at this beach
in some suspended animation,
you see suddenly, Gorgug, as
you like punch in another GPS,
one last little drop of the Rocket Hooch
falls out of the jug and hits the engine,
and it is the crack of dawn,
right in front of Shellford's house.
You can hear the sounds
of them having played LAN
all night from inside.
- All right, let's see if they still,
if they have extra laptops or something.
Let's get in there.
- You guys walk in.
As you walk in
with some bizarre
teleportation you've done,
no sign or sense of
Chugledown Bim anywhere.
You see that Ragh gets out of the car.
Corey [snorts] wakes up and goes,
"What the f*ck, where the hell are we?"
- You see that Ragh goes, "I
don't know what you're up to,
but sick-a*s LAN party going on in here."
Corey goes, "Yeah, f*cking
tight, let's do it, dudes."
- [Zac] Riz, Riz.
- [Brian] Yeah?
- Give him, give him the-
- No, no, he'll k*ll me.
[group laughs]
- Hey, Corey, Corey, Corey.
We wanted to give you this.
- I sh**t the poem.
I sh**t the poem with my g*n.
[group laughs]
- You blast the poem with your g*n,
and as you blast the poem with your g*n,
you hear a noise of someone
turning on their bedroom light
in a nearby houses, as
you just opened fire
in the middle of the lawn, and you see,
you hear a voice say, "That's it.
You boys have been making noise all night.
I'm calling the cops," and
you hear Corey look around
and go, "Scatter," and
just run for the wood line
as you guys break out of there.
And Ragh looks around, and
as he starts to sprint away,
he goes, "Yeah, this
is how it should end."
- Hey, let's run to the river. [laughs]
Let's toss a few rocks.
[overlapping chattering]
- Let's throw rocks at other
rocks down by the river.
[overlapping chattering]
And that's all for this
episode of "Fantasy High,"
a boys night one shot.
Thank you so much for watching, everyone,
and we'll catch y'all next time.
Hoot growl, baby.
- Hoot growl.
- Hoot growl.
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07x22 - Boys' Night! (Roll20Con)
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.