- You f*cking b*tches,
I'm not going anywhere.
I f*cking stole Santa's list.
I got that fat f*ck off his f*cking sled.
I am gonna marry Robert Moses.
- Willy, is that you?
- Anyone out there, stand back.
The water tower, boom, crashes.
All this fire f*cking vanishes.
You hear a voice in the back of your head.
What you gonna do?
- I'm gonna f*ck this b*tch up.
- Up through here to the ceiling.
Her teeth and skull
scatter into the night sky.
Kingston Brown, there are forces moving
against us very quickly in the city.
Here we go, guys.
Are you guys ready?
- Hey, guys, and welcome back
to "The Unsleeping City".
I'm Brennan Lee Mulligan,
these are our intrepid heroes.
Say hi, intrepid heroes.
- It's a very, what a very
festive episode we have here,
probably airing sometime
in like July or August.
But whatever, it's not the time
that the campaign is set in.
- That's when you miss Christmas the most.
Or the holidays, pardon me.
- The holidays, yes.
g*ng, last we left our intrepid heroes,
they were in a burning art
loft somewhere in Bushwick
where they had just
defeated Isabella Infierno,
the lieutenant and fiancee of Robert Moses
and the m*rder*r of Dale Lee.
Our heroes went their separate ways.
Misty back to her penthouse.
Kugrash to a little dog
bed in Wally's apartment.
Ricky back to his studio and
his weights and protein shakes.
- Yeah.
- Sofia back to
Staten Island and her house.
- Mm.
- And Kingston
and Pete stayed up late
listening to jazz and
chatting before they each got
a first goodnight sleep in a long time.
- Oh yeah.
- It is a bright, sunny morning.
It is brick city, a freezing day.
One of those days in New York
where it's extremely bright
and extremely cold.
Little bits of dust and wind kick up,
cutting through people's coats.
We are gonna go ahead and start
at Kingston Brown's apartment
the following morning.
You guys wake up.
Your shift starts a little bit later,
so you have the morning to yourself.
Pete, you come to.
It's that first night of
long like 11 hour sleep
after a bender that has lasted
for whoever knows how long.
So like eye crusts, snot crust.
Like sweaty and like hot and you're like,
oh, my body actually got
a chance to heal itself
of all these stress injuries
over the course of the night.
What do you guys do as
you awake that morning?
It is December 21st, by the way.
- Mm.
- Oo.
- Oh my goodness.
- Well, if it's December
- Classic December 21st.
- Classic December 21st breakfast-making.
- Is it the solstice?
The 21st?
- The longest night of the year.
- Mm.
- Oo.
- Cool.
- Well, I'm making breakfast just because.
You know, we're gonna have some grits.
We're gonna have some
pancakes, scrambled eggs.
I got some Polish sausage
from down the way.
- Woo.
- You know, we're gonna do it right.
- Cool.
I take the broom out and I
just kinda start sweeping.
'Cause it's hard to not be doing something
when you're treating me so well.
- Pete, you don't have to sweep nothing.
- I'm picking up a little bit
of dust here and there so uh...
- Hey, more power to you.
- All right.
- Hey, you want cherry
tomatoes in the eggs?
- Oo, yes, that sounds delicious.
- You got it.
- You hear a knock at the
door at your apartment door.
- Hey, Pete, can you get that?
- Yeah, sure.
Hello.
- You open the door and
see an extremely twee,
cute old couple that are
dressed up in sort of,
you know, house clothes.
There is a tiny, bespectacled old woman.
And an extremely grumpy-looking
old man with a cane.
You recognize these must
be Kingston's parents
from downstairs.
Victoria looks at you, seeing a stranger
in Kingston's apartment,
and doesn't have any...
Bat an eyelash at all and goes.
My goodness.
Are you Pete?
- I am Pete.
- I'm Victoria, come here.
- Oh, you must be Kingston's parents.
Oh.
- She takes a sort of Saran-wrapped,
it's one of those things where it's like
a little tin of what used to be cookies.
Opens the tin and there's Saran-wrapped,
homemade cookies in it.
Plastic's on the thing.
You see that the old man
looks at you and goes...
- Good to meet you, sir.
- Hi, my name is Winston Brown.
- Firm handshake.
- Gives you, just glares,
looks over at Kingston.
Gives you this look
that he often gives you,
'cause you have, of course, kept,
gotten people back up on
their feet in your apartment
many times before,
gives you a look like...
Trouble, kid trouble?
- Absolutely not, Pop.
Get in here.
Also, Mom, it's much
too early for cookies.
- Why, why, why would you say
it's too early for cookies?
- Mom, it's 9:00 a.m.
- I'm eating a cookie.
- Okay.
- These are amazing.
Thank you so much.
- You can have cookies anytime you like.
- Wow.
- Mom, go sit down, all right?
- All right.
You don't tell me what to do.
I am tired though,
I mean, it's a long
flight up these stairs.
We gotta get someone in the
building about these stairs.
- Can I text Ricky and be like,
are cookies the good carb?
- Absolutely not.
Bringing his treadmill up.
- sh**t.
Okay, ah, damn.
- But have fun with your life.
- Ricky's helping me put on size.
- Oh, oh, word up.
All right, Pete.
Okay, Pete.
- You see that Pop looks
over at you and says,
put on size, that's a
problem, put on size.
And you know, back in my day,
the leading men in the movies,
they had, you know.
John Wayne didn't have size.
He had grit.
- All right, ain't nobody needing
to be admiring John Wayne, Pop.
- What's wrong with John Wayne?
- There's so much wrong with John Wayne.
- What's wrong with John Wayne?
I like a western movie.
He had a big chest and skinny arms
'cause when you throw a punch,
you throw from the chest.
You don't throw from the...
You know what I'm saying?
- I actually heard John Wayne was put up
by the person who made
The Hollywood Reporter.
He actually invented John Wayne.
They put him in a lot of articles.
- I don't know anything about all that.
I don't know anything about all that.
- He wasn't anyone.
They just put him in all these articles.
And then, all of a sudden,
all the people wanted to work with him.
I got a, you should read it.
- Pete does a lot of real cool stuff.
He's a good dude.
He's really into the arts.
- You see Victoria looks over and says,
well, you're an artist, that's amazing.
What kinda art do you do?
- Oh, I mostly hang
out with other artists.
I just like art.
But I'm not, I—
- You some kind of critic?
You an art critic?
- No, no, no.
Definitely not, no.
- This kid an art critic?
- No, Pop, he's not an artist.
Pete is...
What is your...
- I run deliveries.
- There you go.
- Just kind of like a blue collar job.
- You see that the, yeah.
Winston looks over and says, so,
what's bringing you over
here to Kingston's apartment?
Why are you staying with
Kingston for a little while?
- Oh, we have a lot of mutual friends.
- Yes.
- You see that Victoria kind
of like blindly nods to this
and Winston kind of crosses his...
You two run in the same circles?
I noticed that you've
drawn on your fingers.
- Oh yeah.
Yeah.
I have some tattoos.
I have some tattoos.
- Me and Pete recently started
playing chess together.
We joined a—
- You see Pop goes, that's a great game.
That's a great game.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's a great game.
Pete is very good at chess.
- That's a great game.
- Yeah.
- So you see Victoria,
without missing a beat,
looks over at you, puts
another cookie in your hand,
also gets up to start just
help you with breakfast.
- Mom, stop.
Sit down.
I am cooking breakfast.
- All right, all right.
It's your kitchen, your rules.
- Yeah, my kitchen.
When I'm downstairs, you're in charge.
When you're upstairs, I'm in charge.
- I'm furiously sweeping now.
- She sits down and says, so well,
Pete, what are your plans for Christmas?
Do you celebrate Christmas?
- Um, I grew up celebrating
Christmas, yeah.
I don't really have any plans.
- Right.
- Yeah.
- We having family over,
a bunch of people driving into the city.
You should feel free to come.
- I would love to.
- Oh, Pete, it'll be—
- Is that all right?
Am I overstepping my bounds?
- Not a chance.
It would be a hoot and a
holler to have you there, Pete.
- Cool.
Oh man, that means so much.
This is such a warm, sweet place.
- That's wonder...
She gets up and pulls a little thing out
and just starts measuring your body.
What size shirt or shoe are you?
- Large.
- Large?
Okay.
Are you sure?
- Huh?
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
Large, if I—
- Is that the style?
- I mean, he's putting on size.
- Yeah, I'm putting on size.
- This is the sweater
you're gonna grow into.
- Yeah, yeah yeah.
- All right.
Well, so if you're putting on size,
so I should make extra food
for you is what you're saying.
- Yeah, that'd be great.
Um, do you have like complex
carbs and pure protein?
- We were gonna have turkey.
- Great, that's great.
I'm sorry, I'm talking like Ricky.
- And we also do a ham, a Christmas ham.
It's traditional, so...
- Yeah.
We're doing it all.
You know how to play dominoes?
- Mm-hmm.
- Great.
- You see that Winston reaches
into a little coat pocket
and pulls out a single domino
and does the like finger trick with it.
He says, oh, you think you
know how to play dominoes.
Well, this should be very interesting.
- All right, Pop, no money.
There's no, we agreed
two Christmases ago—
- You gotta spice up the game.
- You can't gamble.
- I agree.
- You gotta spice it up.
Dominoes without money?
Come on, that's crazy.
That is a crazy thought.
- All right.
- I always put money on dominoes.
- Okay.
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I wanna be on
your team with this, but—
- As soon as you say that, Winston goes
and punches you in the shoulder.
I like this kid.
- I pretend it didn't
hurt but it hurts so...
It went straight to the bone.
- All right, y'all,
breakfast is ready, okay?
Nobody needs to be punching
nobody or gambling on no domino.
- Kingston's delightful parents
fill the room with conversation.
You see that without even asking to,
Victoria moves some food off
of her plate onto your plate
as she finishes.
And you see that you...
Delightful breakfast.
As it gets closer to time
to go to work for Kingston,
you see a little thing
bleeps up on your phone.
- Cool.
- It's a text from 53V3N,
basically saying like
we need to talk.
Like we need to talk.
Have you moved the last batch yet?
Let's talk about re-upping soon.
- Cool, yeah I write like,
yeah, I can swing by today.
- Rad.
Cool.
Kingston, make a Perception check.
- That's gonna be a 19.
- You notice, you're
not trying to eavesdrop,
but you're a very observant guy,
so you notice that little text sort
of show up on Pete's phone.
- Hey, Pete, I'm about to go to work.
What are you up to today?
- I'm gonna go take care of...
- Business?
- Business.
Yeah, yeah.
- But you won't be
participating in business.
- No.
No, I won't.
I just got a trial membership at a gym
and I'm gonna go swimming afterwards.
- Oh.
Okay, Pete, Ricky would
be thrilled to hear that.
- I don't know if swimming
is the right choice,
but I did Google mass
exercise and swimming.
- Mass exercise?
- I'm trying to gain mass.
- Oh, for mass.
Okay.
- I don't know.
- Got it.
- We'll see.
- Word up.
Well, hey, have a good day.
- Yeah, you too.
- Kingston, you take off for work.
Pete, you also take off for work.
- Great.
- We're gonna cut over to Misty.
You awaken in your beautiful penthouse.
The forces of evil took a
real bad beating at that party
and you finally have a
morning to look at your lines.
You see that Benjamin shows up
with a little thing of
fruit salad and some bagels.
He sits down and says, all
right, so we're taking it
from the top tonight?
Is that what we're doing?
- I think so, right?
- Absolutely.
Let's get these ivories a-kicking.
Here we go.
Two, three.
And just as he's about to start,
you see Alissa walks in and says,
hi, Ms. Moore, sorry to interrupt, am I?
Oh, sorry.
Am I, is this a bad time?
Should I come back?
Am I, I'm so sorry.
- Tell me what you need to tell me.
You've already interrupted.
- Benjamin goes wow.
Um and Alissa
walks over to you and says,
um, so, I am so sorry about
interrupting the last rehearsal,
everything is set up.
And I took extra precautions,
so everything is where it
needs to be in the theater
and I didn't let anyone see me do any
of it for whatever reason.
But there's some questions
about the legal paperwork
you asked me to look forward about your,
the trust fund, and your
last will and testament.
- Mm-hmm.
- This is all, it's all been notarized
and everything's set up.
The name of the individual
that's set to inherit your estate
should you pass away is still TBD
and there were some questions about that.
- Yeah, no.
Well, I'm a single lady
and I've had a fun life.
But I do want to leave my stuff
to some people, or a person,
who maybe I haven't
figured out what that name
is gonna be yet.
I mean, who they are yet.
- You see, she looks at you.
Go ahead and make a Deception
roll for me real quick.
- That is a not natural 20.
- You see she goes, okay.
So sorry, yes, do I need to
get name change informa...
No, there is a person who is
going to inherit your estate.
- Yes, absolutely, a
beautiful young woman.
- So you do know who it is.
Can we get her name?
- Mm.
How about...
- You see Benjamin goes, how about?
Misty, can I inherit your estate?
What's happening?
- Oh, darling, you know I love you
and you're gonna be looked after.
- Okay, well good, I guess.
I would hope so.
Been here slinging tunes on these pianos
for a long, long time, Misty.
- Yes, yes, and you've had a job
that whole time haven't you, Ben?
- Wow, meow, claws are out, I suppose.
- Alissa, you're done.
I'll figure it out.
I'll send you a text
message with the name.
- Okay.
So I'll get the name in a text message?
- I'll send you a text message.
- Okay, wonderful.
I'll look out for that text
and I'm just trying to think
if there's anything else here.
Some of the things, they
just wanted clarification
on some of the things that
are being willed here.
Because it just seems like
you know who this person is,
because you're willing
some of your clothes
that have specific
measurements for a person that,
again, we don't have a
name or a social security
or a banking account.
- I'm just assuming
that anybody who I would
give my estate to would have a specific
shape and size of figure.
- Misty, I will—
- Alissa, what do you need from me?
Why, I'm in rehearsal.
- I'm so sorry.
I am so sorry.
I apologize.
It's not my place to ask these questions.
And, I swear to God, it
will not happen again.
- No.
No, it won't.
- Okay.
And she...
- How many times?
- I am so sorry.
And she swishes out the door.
You see Benjamin goes, very well.
So, maybe we should, you know,
we got a little bit of an interruption.
Do you wanna just go to
the final sort of aria?
I mean, you wanna go to
the last big movement?
- Yeah, let's do it, let's do it.
- Okay, this is "If We
Shadows Have Offended" okay.
Two, three, four.
And you start belting out
this real belty final number.
Wonderful.
What does Misty do in the days
preceding her little holiday cast party
and Christmas coming around the corner?
- Well, the winter solstice
is a big holiday for me.
So I'm gonna decorate my house
and also put my little saucer
of milk by the fireplace
to stop the faeries
from stealing my children,
as is traditional.
- Little saucer of milk placed
out and a bunch of little
Old World, Celtic, pagan things happening.
And, yeah, it's beautifully set up.
You also notice, by the way, I imagine
that you had told Alissa to get rid
of the mirror in your place.
- Yeah, I think so.
- So the mirror is now gone.
- It's in storage.
- Yes.
- Along with all
of my other weird sh*t that is in storage.
- From centuries of collecting crap.
Wonderful.
So you get ready for the lovely solstice.
- I'd also like to check in
with the faerie population
that is around to see if
there's any like scuttlebutt
going around about what's
happening with Titania
just so that I can protect myself from...
- Give me an Investigation check.
- Great.
How about a five?
- You reach out to get some scuttlebutt.
You don't hear jack sh*t about Titania.
- Okay.
- You hear that the clock
gnomes of Grand Central Station
appear to be in a little bit of an uproar.
Something's going on with them.
- Oh.
I'll head down to Grand Central Station,
buy me some oysters.
- Mm.
- Get a Junior's cheesecake
to go for the party.
- Oo.
- Oo, lovely.
Cool, you head out.
So this is like on the 21st,
you go out and head out.
- Yeah.
- Or maybe you're like decorating that day
and the next day you head over there.
Cool.
Just with everyone else, just
seeing what you're doing.
We're sort of in this little
downtimey, Christmasy spot
as you guys are doing this stuff.
Sofia.
- Okay, well I am going back
and I'm closing up my house.
I won't be staying there
anymore, so I'm packing a bag.
And then I also want to,
I'm gonna get in touch with Jackson.
But before I do, I would
like to spy on my family.
- Okay.
Yeah, absolutely.
- So what I'd like to
do, and you'll tell me
if I can do this, is
create an unseen servant.
And then cast Gaze of Two Minds on it.
- Holy sh*t.
- And then send it into wherever
my family's hanging out.
- Okie—
- Specifically my brothers
and possibly my father.
I don't—
- Did you take another level of warlock?
- Yeah, b*tch.
- You cannot stay away.
- I love spells.
Give me cards.
- I think this is totally legit.
- I think it is 'cause it
needs to be a willing humanoid,
but then it says the servant
can perform simple tasks
that a human servant could do.
- So you backdoored your
way into having Clairvoyance
as a second level warlock.
- Maybe.
- Yes, b*tch.
- Yes, b*tch.
- That's amazing.
- Emily's been on Reddit for hours.
How can I backdoor some sh*t?
- Actually, I didn't even think
of it till I sat down here.
I got Gaze of Two Minds to try
and convince Mario to be on my side,
but then I was like, wait a second.
- Incredible.
Yeah.
You look at...
So you—
- So I'm on like a full
sneak mission like—
- Give me a Stealth as you're
just sort of on the street.
- Oh my god.
Okay.
That's gonna be a 27.
- Oo, f*ck yeah.
- Le Gran Gata channels through me.
- You see, it is again, this bright,
it's brick f*cking cold out here.
It is freezing.
- I don't care, it's colder in here.
- You summon...
You see there is a
and sort of coming
out of being ethereal,
La Gran Gata, sort of
does that cat rubbing and
weaving in between your legs.
And then wraps around one of your feet.
You see that outside of the
heat of battle last night,
you see that La Gran Gata is kind
of mirroring your emotional state.
- Oh.
- But in that sort of
comforting animal way.
Like when a dog sees you being sad
and it's like, I'll be sad too.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
- I gotta get you registered
as a pet therapy animal
so I can bring you on planes.
- There is no TSA or flight
attendant that can stop me.
- Ah, now that's the spirit.
- Oh my goodness.
So cute and yet so revered.
- You conjure up this little.
You sort of use your key and
create this little messenger
of wind and air elemental thing.
And you lean against the
brick wall of the alleyway.
Your eyes go white and you go blind
and your vision centers a little.
And it whisks down this
Staten Island street up
into the chimney and down into
the home of the Bicicletas.
What is the duration of Unseen Servant?
- It's one hour.
- One hour, cool.
You see that the unseen servant
goes down through the chimney.
Your family is home.
Your mother, your father
is like in a seat,
kind of like lounging in the living room.
Mario and your other brothers are there.
You see that Mario's going, look,
I don't know what to tell you, all right?
She knows.
She knows what happened.
She talked to me.
She's in that same fakakta f*cking,
you know, monastery or whatever.
She's learning karate or super karate,
I don't know what it is.
And...
You can see that your mom
is weeping in the kitchen.
You see your dad goes, all right, so what?
We was supposed to have
the whole f*cking family
get put on Isabella's sh*t list
'cause we wouldn't f*cking cooperate?
Give me a f*cking break.
Dale was a piece of sh*t.
He's dead.
She'll get over it.
She'll move on.
I don't wanna f*cking hear it.
You see that your other
brothers look around.
Give me an Insight check
as you're looking at them.
- That's gonna be...
- Okay.
Your family's on a spectrum.
The answer you're looking
for is a sloppier one
than maybe you would have wanted.
And as you look at your family,
you see very clearly that your
mom is extremely distraught.
Your dad is pretty remorseless.
Your brothers kind of are
falling somewhere in between.
Most of what you can
see on an Insight check
looking at these people,
looking at your family.
And your family's had beef forever.
You know, like there's been lots of times
where like people weren't
talking to somebody else
or weren't getting along
or other stuff like that.
It looks like Mario was at least
partially telling the truth
in terms of them fully allowing
this nightmare to happen
and not telling you.
But none of them making the call,
pulling the trigger, or even suggesting
that this be what happened.
- Okay.
- You see that your mother,
Maria, turns around and says,
I don't understand why
you gotta f*cking talk
about this in the house.
You guys wanna have your business,
you wanna go around and play
f*cking gangsta, that's great,
why has it gotta happen
in the living room?
If you won't let me be a part of it,
then why are you f*cking
talking about it in my house?
You see Anthony turns around and goes,
Maria, look, you were the
one that was the most upset
out of all when f*cking Dale showed up.
And she was like, 'cause I
thought, I didn't know him.
And I wanted Sofia to be happy.
You see that Mario goes,
Jesus f*cking Christ.
All right, look, we got
problems, all right?
Isabella Infierno's f*cking dead.
That means that whatever
favor we were doing
for Don Confetti, now we just
are back to owing him again.
So, I don't know what
the f*ck we're gonna do,
but we're back in his pockets.
You see that Anthony goes,
look, f*cking Confetti is a stooge.
He's a f*cking puppet.
We all know who the guy is
calling the f*cking shots.
So, what he says is gonna go.
And, you know, if we can just
make it a little while longer,
we're gonna be out of the f*cking weeds
on this one, all right?
You see that Vincenzo looks over and goes,
so should we set a place for Sofie
for Christmas or what's the deal?
You see that Adriana looks
over to him and says,
of course, set a f*cking place.
What's your problem?
Set a place.
Who knows if she'll come,
but set a f*cking place.
You see that your mom, Maria, says,
you know what, I'm going out.
I'm gonna make a lasagna.
Anyone who wants to be nice
and decent in the house
can f*cking have it when it's ready.
And you see that she
puts on a big overcoat,
slams the door, goes and
begins to walk down the street
out of the house.
You see that your other brothers kind
of all look sheepishly at each other.
Your dad puts the volume
on the game back up
and the conversation dwindles.
- Okay.
I retract my unseen servant.
I'm deciding if I wanna do one more thing
with my unseen servant
before I meet up with,
before I talk to Jackson.
I look through my backpack,
which is now my home.
- Oh.
- I even have a little air freshener
in there and everything.
It's very homey.
I decide, I have all, I
have my wedding pictures.
And I send the unseen servant
to burn my house down.
- What?
Jesus Christ.
- I'm gonna need money.
- Oh my god, you are from Staten Island.
- Jesus.
- And then I go and I have a really loud,
obvious conversation at the deli counter
at a supermarket where I know
that there's closed circuit TV
so I have an alibi.
- This is diabolical.
- It's my house.
- What is an obvious deli conversation?
- You walk into a deli.
You see a guy back there, he's
like, hey, how's it going?
- Hi.
I'm looking for soppressata.
- Yeah, how much you want?
- You only got one?
I'm kinda looking to sample
a couple different flavors.
I got the afternoon so...
- All right.
- I'm making a charcuterie for Christmas
and I really wanna get it right.
- You see, he takes a
little piece of soppressata
on a tiny little metal fork.
You see like one of those ice cream-style
like used fork things over
it, a little metal can.
Here, you can try this.
- I put it in my mouth
and I just suck on it
for as long as I can.
- He just stares
at you, just grimly.
- Mm.
Spicy.
- Cool.
You're there for a
nice, long chunk of time
until eventually you
hear, we're gonna actually
cut over to Ricky real quick.
Ricky, what do you do the
next morning when you wake up?
- I just really like
protein-heavy breakfast.
- Hell yeah.
- Eggs and turkey bacon.
- A rotisserie chicken.
- Some rotisserie chicken
just kinda shredded
and sprinkled onto that
and one piece of toast.
Then, just go for a jog.
Just maybe going kinda close
to the Financial District,
see what I see.
- Cool.
You're heading close to
the Financial District.
You head off.
As you're down there by
the Financial District,
you get all the way down to Battery Park,
you look across the entire harbor
and give me a Perception check.
- I got a 21.
- You smell smoke coming
from across the harbor.
- I'm f*cking dogging it.
- In the freezing cold day,
you run all the way to
the edge of the dock
and just out and
swim past the Statue of Liberty.
You hear a bunch of people say,
sir, sir, get out of the water.
- I'm like cresting like a dolphin.
- Yeah, yeah.
You are swimming strong enough,
you have now 20 Strength.
Fully breaching the
water with each stroke.
- Are people taking pictures?
- Yeah.
- Are people saying, to
me, get out of the water?
- Yeah, exactly.
- Okay.
- Yeah, sir, yeah.
- Someone needs me.
- You arrive...
At a certain point, you
get to the other side
and you see in a beam of
light, Ox, wagging his tail
on the other side of the harbor.
- Can I make a Perception check?
- Yeah, make a Perception check.
- Okay, 25?
- It's Ox.
He's back.
He's come back and he's made of light.
He says, Ricky, Ricky, I was dead.
But I came back to life now.
You can never k*ll hope.
Hope never dies.
- You can never k*ll it.
- You see, poom, jump on the thing.
Run over.
You see, I don't think you've
ever been to Sofia's home.
But what you know of Sofia's home
is here, burning in front of you.
- I save it, I have to save the stuff.
I look for a hose.
- Cool, you call 911.
- Call 911.
Do the whole...
- A bunch of firefighters show up and go,
Jesus Christ, you're soaking wet.
The water is freezing to you.
- There's no time.
The fire will warm me.
I'm just like messing with
like a little garden hose.
- You help 'em put the fire out.
Cool.
Go ahead and give me a, just
give me a raw Athletics check
to try and put the fire out.
- Come on.
- Amazing.
Incredible.
The home is ruined, but you
save it from collapsing.
You stop the fire from
spreading anywhere else.
Go ahead and give me an
Investigation check with advantage
if you'd be so kind.
You can make one for Ox as well.
- Okay.
So, one for me and then one for Ox?
Both at advantage or?
- Both at advantage 'cause
you're investigating a fire,
it's what you do.
- Okay, Investigation.
So that's a 17.
And that's way less.
And then a 10.
So, 17.
- Ricky, you look around
the burned out house.
As you are, you see the
firefighters come through
and they say, you see some
like New York One cameras
pull up and one of them is outside going,
you know, if it hadn't
been for Ricky Matsui
swimming from Manhattan to Staten Island
in a record-breaking
two and a half minutes,
we just wouldn't have gotten here in time
to stop the fire from spreading.
- Anyone could've done that.
Anyone could've swam that.
- You see him hold the camera to you.
Wow, two fires put out in one month.
Ricky, you don't even
work in this borough.
- Right.
Well, I'm just doing what
anyone would've done.
- Nobody would've swam from
Manhattan to Staten Island.
Nobody would've swam from
Manhattan to Staten Island.
That is bordering on superheroic.
You are not wearing a jacket
and ice is actively forming
in your hair and I guess not on your skin
'cause it's completely hairless
and just chiseled as stone like a statue.
- I'll get warmed up later.
I'm gonna treat myself to just
like a nice cocoa after this.
What kind of camera is that?
- Cut, cut it, cut it, cut
it, cut it, cut it, cut it.
Investigating the house
with Ox, you look around.
You see a lot of photos are missing,
but there are some
family photos still here.
And you see Sofia.
You're like, this is Sofia's house.
And as you're here, you
see like in the closet
and some places that there
are big like empty swaths
as though somebody like
packed to leave this place.
- I just text Sofia a
picture of just a selfie,
me in her burned down
house, but also going...
Like.
- Sofia, on the way to
Jackson's, you get that text.
- Oh my god.
What happened?
- Seems like someone packed up your stuff
and then tried to burn down your house?
- I text him and I'm like,
truthfully, I left my house.
I wasn't planning on being
there for the holidays.
So, I don't know what happened.
But we'll talk in person.
- Okay.
- Wonderful.
So.
- Truly.
- Insurance fraud.
- Committed full insurance fraud.
Truthfully, I don't know what happened.
- You're on the way to the monastery.
Kugrash, we cut over to you.
You wake up in your lovely dog bed.
You see Wally comes out
and he goes, morning, Dad, how's it going?
- Hey, boy, Wally, how
you doing this morning?
- I made breakfast.
- This is f*cking awesome,
I live in a house now.
- You see that it's just a bunch
of string cheese on a plate.
- Yeah, hell yeah, man.
Absolutely.
- Like cut up.
- Yeah, finely cut up, chopped.
And then they got cooked hot dogs,
so it's just hot little cylinders.
It's cooked hot dog and
little bits of string cheese.
- You're the f*cking sweetest boy.
I didn't even hear you do that.
- Oh, string dog, yeah.
- Yeah, string dogs.
Are you eating string dogs too, Wally?
- Yeah, this is for me.
That's what I eat.
- This is what you eat every morning?
- Every morning for breakfast.
- That's insane, Wally.
- I don't get a whole
lot of what cooking is,
but I know that you can put
a hot dog in a microwave.
But you shouldn't put tinfoil in there.
- No, you shouldn't.
- Nope, no way.
- Wally, you wanna watch
Christmas movies today?
- Yeah.
Can we watch the best
Christmas movie of all time?
- What is that?
- Freaking "Die Hard", dude.
- Hell yeah, man.
- I love John McClane
because he loves his wife.
- Yeah.
- He just wants to be with her.
- Yeah.
What year did "Die Hard" come out?
I'm trying to remember if
I've seen "Die Hard" or not.
I've been a rat for a long time.
- "Die Hard" came out in the 80s,
so you saw "Die Hard" right before.
- Oh, dude, "Die Hard" is the
last movie I've seen, man.
I'll watch it again.
- Cool.
You guys sit on his couch,
eating hot dogs and string cheese
and watching "Die Hard".
It gets to the end—
- This f*cking rules, Wally.
- He goes there and he goes,
well, John McClane's so smart,
he duct taped that g*n to his back.
- Yeah.
- I like it, you know, I love the movie,
even with the swear words in it.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, it's great.
Poor Professor Snape.
He falls down at the end.
- Yeah, well he's a bad guy in this movie.
- What?
- Yeah.
You watched the movie right, Wally?
- I like the part where he
jumped across the window.
But I hate it when he gets
the glass in his foot.
- Yeah, that's tough, man.
- I would hate that.
You're supposed to wear
shoes all the time.
I went barefoot into the subways one time
and they yelled me.
They said, "You gotta wear shoes."
- Yeah.
You're a tough guy though, Wally.
Being able to walk around
in the subway barefoot.
- Yeah, well it did hurt my feet real bad,
'cause I forgot, but never again, so.
That's me.
I make a mistake one
time and I get yelled at
and then I don't do it again.
- That's good, that's good.
- Well, you want to
watch "Die Hard" again?
- Why don't we watch, is
there a newer Christmas movie?
I haven't watched movies in a long time.
I've been living in a tunnel.
- Yeah, there's a bunch other "Die Hards".
- Yeah, let's watch "Die Hard 2".
- He puts on "Die Hard 2".
You guys just spend the
day watching movies.
- Wally, what are your
plans for the holidays?
What are you...
- Oh.
Well.
Normally, what I do is I do
a little Christmas Eve here
by myself, but then I
go out on Christmas Day
over to Forest Hills
and I have like a lunch,
or an early Christmas dinner with David.
David needs to know about you, Dad.
- I don't know if David
would be super happy
about this, Wally.
'Cause you know David.
He's kind of a ball-buster, right?
He might be mad about this.
- Why?
- Well, you're a little kinder than...
David has...
You know how I did bad things
and David's mad at me about it?
- Yeah.
- I think it might
kinda ruin his Christmas if he saw me.
- But what about the rest of
your family and everybody?
- Okay.
Wally, how about this?
Christmas Eve, me and you,
we watch "Die Hard 3".
Assuming there's a "Die Hard 3".
- Yeah.
- We'll watch "Die Hard 3"
me and you.
Christmas, and then I turn into a dog.
- Aw.
- Yeah, we go to David's like this
and we have a little secret, all right?
This is a game, all right?
This is "Die Hard".
f*cking secret mission,
you and I are f*cking partner cops, okay?
The secret is we pretend—
- Are you a different person
or are you—
- I come back to be,
okay, I come back to being a rat.
I am a rat.
- Okay.
- I am your dad, the rat.
I can also turn into other animals.
Just like twice a day though.
I know that's kinda confusing.
We're gonna go to David's.
I'm gonna be a dog.
I'm your new dog that
you just adopted, okay?
- So where's my dad?
- I'm your dad.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
But you know how I turned into a rat?
- Oh, we're gonna tell a lie.
- Yes.
- On Christmas.
- Sometimes, Wally, yeah,
sometimes you gotta tell lies
to not ruin Christmas.
- Okay.
- Your brother doesn't
like me very much, Wally.
- How about this?
I'm not good at lying so I'll show up,
you tell 'em you're my
dog, and then that way
everybody has a merry Christmas.
- I will have someone else show up
and say that I'm your dog.
This is convoluted.
I have a feeling it's
gonna blow up in our face.
Yeah, yeah, we'll do that.
- Okay.
- f*ck me.
- Merry Christmas.
- f*ck me.
- I like in this part because
Scar is in this movie.
- Yeah.
- From "The Lion King".
- Oh yeah, yeah.
Oh, what is "The Lion King"?
- Oh my god.
And he rushes over.
You have a wonderful day
watching movies with Wally.
- So f*cked.
- Cool.
Pete, you get over to 53V3N's place.
He's got like a bunch
of servers at his place.
He's got like a big sort
of like computer room.
This is sort of like a weird, you know,
like tech-bro, multi-level
penthouse apartment.
He looks around he goes, all right.
Pete, good to see you, my man.
- Good to see you too.
- So let's go ahead and re-up, shall we?
- Yeah, let's do it.
- He starts counting his stuff up for you.
Make a Arcana check for me.
- Eh.
- 12, cool.
He starts like parceling
out the drugs for you.
And you start to sense coming
into the Vox Phantasmus
powers, you sense that there
are like trace bits of
stuff that you could detect
on these different drugs if you wanted to.
- Oo yeah, could I roll
for like Insight or—
- Yeah, you can roll for Insight
and you can roll with advan...
If you wanna like cast
Detect Magic or something
you can totally roll
with advantage as well.
- Yeah, right.
- Oh.
- Not good.
- Six.
- Six is the highest you get?
- Mm-hmm.
- Cool.
Yeah, he does some drugs out
for you, puts them in your bag.
He goes, great.
You're looking good, man.
Have you been like
working out or something?
- Yeah, I actually have,
thanks for noticing.
What about you?
Who are you working with now?
What's going on with everything?
- He's like, well, he's
like, first of all,
that $800 is now $812, thank you, bitcoin.
- Oh great, man, yeah.
It's a great thing you
bought 1/29 of one of those.
- Yeah, 1/29 of a bitcoin.
- Mm-hmm.
That's great.
- And then you fold that.
And then you fold that,
and eventually you get
to one full bitcoin.
- Cool.
- You're with me on this, right?
- Yeah, man, look yeah,
maybe one day I'll buy
like Ethereum or f*cking whatever
you're always telling me about.
- It's about diversity, right?
Because again, it's
layers upon layers, right?
It's systems that exist
on top of each other.
- Cool.
- And if you're not calculating
how these systems interact,
you know, you're playing
chess two-dimensionally
when you need to be playing
it three-dimensionally,
and honestly
four-dimensionally if you can.
- Great.
- Cool.
- Cool.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, maybe I'll take two hours
and set up a wallet for myself one day.
- Are you doing a bit or
are you being serious?
- I'm not doing a bit, I'm not.
Maybe I will set aside a whole afternoon
and get myself a bitcoin.
- Is this new ink on
your fingers by the way?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
'Cause that does draw attention, right?
'Cause we're trying to
not fit the profile.
You know what I mean?
- Look, everyone has tattoos now, man.
Look around.
- I don't have tattoos.
- It's weird for someone in our age group
not to have tattoos.
Think about that.
- That tattoos are an archaic,
inefficient form of bio-hacking.
Tell you what I do have,
I have a dopamine receptor
lodged in here, right?
And I have an IV that
goes to my Soylent drip.
- That's great.
That's great.
- I don't need to eat.
Do you know how much I
save on dentist bills
by not having to eat?
- I don't, man.
Look, you did it, you hacked the system.
You won and this is
what winning looks like.
- He's in a giant, buzzing
dark room full of servers.
I know, dude, I won.
- That's so sick.
- This is winning.
This is the American dream right here.
I'm in a dark room full of
servers and I am getting rich.
- Wow.
That's so sick.
Hey, you know what, I was gonna ask you,
I was asking everybody,
but have you ever talked
to anyone named Bob Moses?
You know that guy?
He's like a business dude.
- He says, Bob Moses.
Yeah, he's like, yeah that
name's a little bit familiar.
I had to rework some stuff
'cause one of our groups
got snagged.
Some of where we were
recollecting the heroin
from got snagged.
There was a bunch of,
he's like, he goes like,
yeah, he's like, this is
the problem with trying
to do business with like
backwards countries,
'cause a lot of the people that were doing
those f*cking, that
were growing the heroin
for us, they were like trying to smuggle
some people out of the country, stupidly,
and they got caught and a
bunch of them got k*lled.
- f*ck.
- But that's
not our problem, right?
- Nightmare.
Okay, yeah.
So, then you met Bob Moses that way?
- No.
That name got floated
to me through somebody
'cause now we have a different connect
with the people that
we're getting coke from.
So...
- Can I roll Investigate on him?
- You wanna do Insight?
- Or Insight, yeah.
- Yeah, go for it.
- f*cking come on, man.
Nine.
- He seems to be telling the truth.
- All right, cool cool.
- He's like, oh he's like, but
he's like, very peripheral.
I heard that name.
That name got floated on like
one of the forums I'm on.
- He's a big coke guy.
- Really?
And he starts to scan through
some stuff on his computer.
He's like, should I be
worried about this dude?
Is he trying to muscle in?
- I don't think so.
No, I think he runs a
completely different game
that we have nothing to do with, but—
- What kind of game?
- He does a lot of weird
stuff with young people.
- Hey, young people is our market.
Young people are our market.
- Yeah, true.
- You do sell to high schoolers, right?
- Yeah, man.
Unfortunately, I do.
- What's going on with Pete as
he's like saying this stuff?
- I'm really starting to see
my life through a new lens
now that I'm sober.
I'm like yeah, man, I f*cking sell
to a lot of high schoolers.
But they're rich.
Anyway, no...
- And you're not just
selling them weed, right?
'Cause I know they're gonna want weed,
but you can push the pills.
You can push the heroin,
you can push the coke,
you can push all that stuff.
- I disassociate fully.
Cool, man, cool cool cool, yeah.
- Okay, great.
So, focusing back in.
If you want me to look out for this guy,
I can see what I can find on the web.
- Yeah, I would love it.
Please, please, please.
- Okay.
- Use your databases and stuff like that.
I would love it.
- What do you think a database is?
- JSTOR.
- Okay.
I'm gonna take care of this.
Keep on the lookout, you're
strapping, right, you got heat?
- I always got heat.
- Okay, good.
He's like, because remember,
tech is tech, right?
'Cause we can hack here on the computer
and we can hack in real life.
And he takes a full golden
AK-47 out from under his desk.
- God, man, it's insane that
you don't have an Instagram.
Can I just say?
Your whole thing would go crazy.
- Oh yeah, let me get an Instagram.
Hey, why don't I just email the FBI?
- I don't want another where you saw
that I used my fingerprint on my phone.
- Social media is voluntary panopticon.
- Okay, thank you, thank you, 53V3N.
- Okay.
Click click click.
He gets back on the computer.
Cool.
You leave 53V3N's place,
possibly rattled by some of the—
- Yeah, I'm really like, high schoolers.
- And you dip back out.
Sofia, you make your way over to,
I assume you're going
to the monastery, right?
- Yeah.
I'm meeting up with Jackson.
- You meet up with Jackson.
You go up the never-ending fire escape
and arrive at the monastery in the clouds
where everything is sidewalk.
- I have my backpack.
- You see Jackson who has
mostly been like commanding
you to like carry stuff and
punch stuff and jump over stuff.
You see that he's waiting at
the gates of the monastery
up on the cloud.
And you see he's got
a blanket and a pillow
under his arm and a towel.
And as you go up, you've
only been working with him
for a few days.
He wordlessly, as you
get to the top, moves in,
and puts you in that hug
that gets like very still
the moment that—
- I think I just dead fish it
'cause I don't know how
to take it right now.
- He leaves there for a second.
He pulls back and you see he's
got tear lines on his face
but is otherwise completely
stone and he goes,
come on, we got a room set up.
- How'd you know?
- It's my business to know.
- I was planning on just
like leaving the island.
- We're not technically
on Staten Island anymore.
- Where are we?
- Well, I think about two miles up.
The zoning changes.
- Oh.
Okay, good enough for me.
Yeah, I'll take that room.
It's better than living
out of my backpack.
I empty my backpack.
- Yeah, you see that he takes
you to like a little room
in the monastery and it's very spartan.
You know, the walls, ceiling,
and floor are all sidewalk.
There's a thin little
mattress, some blankets.
He has like the blanket in
it but it has like sheets
on it already.
There's like a little wash basin
and a place to put some of
your stuff and that's about it.
- Yeah.
I mean, I take out, I have
three pairs of black pants,
three pairs of black shirts.
I fold 'em.
Get some water on my face.
- You see he says...
He gives you a moment to
like settle yourself up.
When you come back out of the hallway,
he looks at you and says, uh.
Follow me.
- Okay.
- He goes with you to Brooklyn.
And he stops at a little,
you see he's got like
a little Mets windbreaker
on and little Mets hat.
Stops at a little bodega.
You look inside and see
La Gran Gata sort of peer
out at you from the bodega and sort of.
And you see that he goes
to buy some flowers.
And he sort of looks over to you and says,
if you wanna grab something, it's on me.
- Okay.
I grab a Sky Bar.
- Oh, you grab a Sky Bar.
He says, you wanna get some flowers too?
- Are we going to a graveyard?
Are we going to whose grave
I think that we're going to?
Okay.
I grab another Sky Bar.
He loved Sky Bars.
- You see, he goes, yeah, that
kid was a freak for Sky Bars.
You guys end up at Green-Wood
Cemetery in Brooklyn.
It's a cemetery so massive that,
as you walk into the middle of it,
the city actually fades
away and you're just looking
at the green hills, the old moss,
and lichen-covered tombstones.
Trees, it's beautiful here.
You walk up, see that Jackson, who again,
doesn't wear sadness in his body really.
He's just like the most solid guy.
Puts, you know has like this like chalk
and dust-covered hands
and puts the flowers
down at the grave.
And looks up at you and respectfully walks
a little distance away
over like to a nearby tree
and kind of leans against
it, facing a little bit
away from you and starts
smoking a cigarette.
- Oh my god.
Well.
I think I'm just gonna
unwrap one of the Sky Bars
and kinda mush it into the ground.
And then eat my Sky Bar.
- Incredible.
- And I'm just gonna, think I'm not,
I'm just gonna say, Dale,
I'm not ready for words.
But I did burn down the
home that we made together.
So, I guess that's just kind
of like today's bulletin.
And then I silently eat my bar.
- You have had an insane day.
- Yeah.
- Big day.
Yeah, you look at this point like—
- I'm also on day one of
mourning my husband's death now.
- Yes, yes, yes.
- After a few minutes,
you finish your Sky Bar.
Jackson chooses this
moment to come back over.
He goes...
- He was a good student?
He was one of your students, right?
- Second only to Method Man.
He was one of the best.
- I can't believe I never
knew that about him.
I wish I had had time to be mad at him
for not telling me that,
about this other secret life.
- He looks at you and goes, I
mean, you can talk to Kingston
about the dangers of bringing a loved one
into the Unsleeping City.
It doesn't solve all your problems.
And I know that it's easy to resent,
but you gotta know that neither
of those choices is pretty.
- Yeah.
No, I get it.
But does this mean that I didn't know him
as well as I thought I did?
- No.
No.
Look, Dale Lee was
one of the finest monks
we've ever had in the
Order of the Concrete Fist.
And more than that, a decent man.
He was good to his heart.
He was a good kid.
You knew the real Dale Lee.
He was, yeah, I mean, could
he break stone with his fists
and jump into the sky and bust the buttons
off of his short sleeve button-up?
Yeah, he could it.
- Oh my god.
That sounds so hot.
- He was a good-looking man.
I'm not gonna sit here and...
Look, I'm secure enough in myself,
he was a good-looking guy.
- Yeah, he was very attractive.
- He says, but he was the guy you knew.
He was a f*cking dork.
The guy was a mild-mannered
accountant through and through.
I have never seen him more
excited than when I told him
that the monastery wasn't affiliated
as a religious organization.
He went through the roof.
He went through years
of our taxes and got us,
I mean, he got the whole mess hall.
And the reason we got
those new steam tables,
that's 'cause he came in
and he did that for us.
- Of course he did.
- He was, you know, he
was a piece of work.
Kind to a fault.
I mean, yeah, was he a
little bit of a goober?
Yeah, I mean he gave me
a frigging Visa gift card
when he graduated.
- All right, well this is my
husband we're talking about
so I don't wanna have
to Hellish Rebuke you.
- No.
I'll back off.
- Okay.
- He goes like, he says, Dale was a...
Dale was, you know, in the way that...
No, I've had lots of students
and I treasure all of them.
Dale was like family.
- Yeah.
- And I'm so sorry for your loss.
- It's okay.
It's just weird because
I grieved it one way
and now I'm grieving it
through a different scope.
But it's fine.
I'm glad that I now can
kinda use this opportunity
to get to know this whole other side
of him that I didn't know.
So, that's nice.
I do have one square on my Sky Bar left.
Did you want some?
I'm so sorry I was rude,
I didn't offer any.
- Yeah, let me get a hit of that.
That'd be great.
- Okay, yeah.
- You see he takes it and chews on it.
He's like, do you need more time
or you wanna start heading back?
- Nah, let's head back.
- You guys start to walk
out of the cemetery.
You see, he goes, yeah.
There was a time where we
thought Dale was gonna be the,
I don't know, it doesn't matter.
- The what?
No, of course it matters.
I wanna hear any story about
him at this point, obviously.
- He goes back with you and he says,
as you guys go from Green-Wood,
you get back to Battery
Park and as you're crossing
the fairy, you're just taking the fairy,
you're both like looking
over the Statue of Liberty
as you pass by it going
back to Staten Island.
You see he goes...
The Order of the Concrete Fist was founded
early in the history of New York City.
And our roots go all the
way back to ancient masters,
the Shaolin Temple, the
forms we practice here
were developed for the
role that New York plays
in the magical cosmology,
not only of America,
but the world.
Our mantra is, at its
root, and we have several,
but the most significant
and most important one is
it is what it is.
- I know, sometimes I
hear that in my head.
- This place, and you can
see the Statue of Liberty
raising her lamp as you
pass by, is a doorway,
for so many people, to the American dream.
And so many people came here
with that dream in their heart.
And the relationship of this
city to all of what this
larger country means
has always been about...
You know, America's about dreams.
And I don't say that lovingly.
I mean, there's a certain
degree of this place
that's based on delusion
and imagery and, you know.
I'm gonna make something of myself.
I'm gonna be what no one said I can be.
And you know, I'll pull
myself up by my bootstraps.
Pull yourself up by your bootstraps,
that's f*cking impossible.
And that metaphor's lost on most people.
New York and what the
Order of the Concrete Fist
represents, we're supposed to
be the fly in that ointment.
You understand?
Things are not always
what you want them to be.
And they're not always what
you dream that they are.
Things are what they are.
And it is what it is.
And...
- Yeah, I guess I definitely
feel that way these days.
- In any case, what we represent,
our role here in the city,
is to be that reminder
to a place that is often
filled with lies and illusions.
That eventually, the smoke
and mirrors fades away
and you hit the brick.
That there is something real.
And it needs to be
acknowledged and respected.
That's why we have often
stood to protect this place
against those things that would encroach
from the Dream Realm.
There are stories at the
founding of the order,
about a day when something
would come through
from the other side.
And the order would fall
unless the chosen one were to appear.
That was supposed to be Dale.
He found where the spirits
congregate of our order
that are supposed to impart
powers of the chosen one.
And when he got there, they weren't there.
So, I don't know how much hope there is.
But hey, it is what it is.
- I crack a Corona.
Actually a Coronita
'cause I'm cutting back.
- It's like this big.
- Cool.
So, anyone else on that
day of the 21st up to
any business before going
to the clock gnomes of...
- I would love to lift with Ricky.
- Yeah.
I...
Yeah, for my second workout of the day,
I meet up with Peter.
- I went to the pool
and everyone was really
weird about the locker rooms
and I was like, f*ck,
and then I texted you.
- I was like typing up just
like a workout schedule
and some macro stuff for Pete.
- f*ck yeah.
- Oh, so you're doing some
macro, you're doing some lifting.
Ally, you guys get to the gym.
Pete, go ahead and give
me a Strength check
and a Constitution check.
- Great, Strength.
Is, where is Strength?
- Cool.
- Constitution.
- Constitution.
- Great, 10.
- 10.
- Are these saving throws?
- These are saving throws.
- Can you add your Charisma?
- Oh yeah, so you beat, plus three.
- 13.
- So you see that Pete is starting to,
you actually are getting the strength.
The testosterone is doing its work.
- Yeah.
- But you're like fading fast.
And then Ricky, how does your
aura manifest in this moment?
- Push it, push it.
Push it.
You got this, you got this.
- My hands are shaking so heavily.
- I'm not helping, I'm not even helping.
- Incredible.
- Pain is weakliness leaving the body.
- Oh great, isn't that
like the Army's slogan?
- Probably, I just heard it
at cross country in middle school.
- Oh cool.
Middle school?
- You guys work out that day.
That night, Pete, you roll back Kingston.
You have a lovely day back at work.
- I'm sure.
- You're feeling great, man.
You see that that troll comes back over,
face freshly covered with warts.
Man, I'm telling you, it worked out great.
- Looks good.
- Thank you, man, appreciate it.
This one's about to bust,
so I'm looking good.
- Okay.
Hey, you let me know when that happens.
Send me a picture.
Take a, what do these kids tell you?
- Oh yeah, my kids do the same.
My kids, they're always running around
at the bottom of the Hudson River,
they're like snapping
these selfie, I'm like—
- Yeah, send me one of them.
Send me a Snapchat.
- I'll do it.
I try to do it on my computer that my kid
set up a home computer for me.
So I'll try to do it on that.
You get back to your apartment that night.
Pete, you're back at Kingston's that way.
You're like sore from lifting
with Ricky that night.
- Ow.
- You good, Pete?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- Swimming take it outta you?
- I didn't even swim.
I went and worked out with Ricky.
- Oo.
- He's so strong.
- He's very strong.
- It made me hate him.
- I see that, I see that.
Well, if you want some protein,
I'll cook up some chicken.
- I would love that.
- Yeah, I mean, well I'm sure...
You don't need anymore protein.
Just take two Advil.
- Oh, you're right, great, great plan.
- Hell yes.
Cool.
The next day, Misty, you're gonna head
over to Grand Central,
'cause you've heard there might
be a little bit of trouble.
Would you contact anyone
else to come with you or?
- Yeah, I'd probably call Kingston.
- Cool.
- If he's available.
- Rad.
- Yeah, I feel like that
makes the most sense
for me to call, maybe Kingston
calls other people, but...
- Yeah.
- Misty's old school.
- Yeah, I guess I'll hey, everybody.
We're gonna run over.
Supposedly some unhappy
gnomes at Grand Central.
I'll let you know if it's a bigger thing.
- Breakfast's on me.
- Yes.
- There's a Jones Coffee in
there that does great espresso.
- At this point, I've
watched "Die Hard" 10 times
so I'm down to get out of the house.
- I show up to any invitation.
- I'm coming, why not?
- Cool.
So you head out that day.
So yeah, you guys get to the
big Grand Central food court.
You're having, what's
Misty treating everybody to
in the food court there?
- I'm sort of taking
everybody on the grand tour.
So I'm like, oh, this is the
best thing at this place.
You gotta get this
particular type of sushi
at the sushi place but
then over at Junior's,
you have to get like this
very specific type of like,
everything is off menu.
Everything is just
because I've lived there
for so f*cking long, I know
exactly what is good at every—
- Can I search through their
trash to see what I eat?
Yeah.
Cool, that's a 15 on my Investigate.
- Hell yes.
You find some great old crusty bagels.
- Nice.
- You also see, yeah.
The sushi place throws out a
lot of its fish that it's bad.
- They throw out a lot of good stuff.
- Kugrash, I will buy you a bagel.
Do you want a bagel?
- He's got a bagel.
- Hey, Sofie, you want one?
- Don't eat that bagel.
- No, actually, I'm good.
I've made my own Long Island Iced Tea
by putting a bunch of nips into a Nestea
and just shaking it up.
- I feel really guilty but I'm like,
today's gonna be my cheat day.
- Wow, we get to watch Mr. March cheat.
I love this.
- I promise I won't
put it on social media.
- Misty, as you guys have all eaten,
you walk through again
that click-clack of stone.
Beautiful here.
You know how to contact the gnomes here.
So you bring people over
to the whispering gallery.
Whispering gallery is,
by the way, a real place
in New York City which is a archway
that you can whisper into one corner
and someone standing in the
other corner can hear you.
So you know that this is
how you contact the gnomes that live here.
- Okay, I go into the
corner and say, hey, gnomes.
- Cling, plang, pang, pang.
Who the hell's on the other line?
- Darling, it's me, it's Misty.
- Well, jeepers creepers,
hold on one second.
You see out from like a little storm vent
there's like the vent opens up.
And riding a little
steam-powered motorcycle
that has a coal engine,
a like one and a half
foot tall crazy old prospector
with like the skinniest...
He kind of moves like he has extra joints
in his arms and legs.
Takes these goggles that so
everything else is soot-blasted
but the eyes are clean.
It's like glittering blue magical eyes.
Very old, like bald.
Little bandana.
Kind of has like western clothes,
like a little like weather
vest and like tools.
And he goes
as I live and breathe.
Golly.
Moves the soot around on his
face with a sooty bandana.
Misty Moore.
I don't suppose you'd recognize
me, but my name's Bilbry.
- Bilbry, how could I forget you?
Bilbry, I've brought you a little packet
of those nuts and bolts that you love.
- Oh my goodness, nuts and bolts.
Smoke comes out of his mouth.
Well, I'll be, welcome
to Grand Central Station.
You'll have to forgive
me, I've been working
on one of the dragons down
in the secret train yard.
Woo, they're ornery.
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.
- Hi.
- Hi, I'm Sofia.
- Hi, Sofia, pleasure to meet you.
- Are those any good, nuts and bolts?
- Oh, for sure.
But you'll ruin your human teeth on 'em.
Crack 'em right open.
- It's his cheat day, he's
eating anything he wants.
- Oh, if you wanna swallow some gently,
I bet you could have some.
- Ricky, don't do it, just don't.
- Ricky, you should cheat with a drink.
Do you want a drink?
- I think I'd rather have a
drink than a bolt or a nut,
no offense.
- We can go to the oyster bar afterwards
and you can get a
Manhattan that'll k*ll you.
- Sounds not safe.
- Word on the street is
not everything is great?
- Oh yeah, we had a
little bit of a tussle.
Oh, Kingston Brown,
great to see you, friend.
- Nice to see you, Bill.
- But are you coming by Willy's
card game this week or no?
- I'm hoping to make time.
I've been busy dealing with some things.
- I just know 'cause like
the week before New Year's,
some people are out of town and then—
- Well, I'll definitely be in town.
So it'll just be a matter of
me getting over to Brooklyn.
- Okay, I understand.
It's a schlep for sure.
If you need a ride on one
of our magic trains, you just let me know.
- I mean, when you say
dragon, are you talking,
is that a class?
- Oh, let me show you
what I've been working on.
Quick, real quick, how
are we gonna do this?
All right, hold on.
And you see that he starts to fold out
this weird metal contraption that becomes
a little 10 foot by 10
foot hex on the ground.
It looks like hammered can
tin that has like runes in it.
If everybody would just care to go ahead
and stop on here, that'd be great.
- I jump in.
- Cool.
- Bilbry, this work is exquisite.
You are such a master craftsman.
- Well, flirting will get you everywhere.
You see that he puts
this thing on and goes.
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo.
And shrinks you all down into gnome size
on this little platform.
- I don't like this, my man.
- Do you have a scale?
I'd love to weigh myself right now.
- Oh no, you couldn't...
Well, what do you weigh normally?
I would say, what, a buck 10?
- Oh my god, flirting
will get you everywhere.
- Hey, my man, how long
are we gonna be like this?
- Is everyone my size now?
- No, you're even smaller than normal.
- Oh sh*t.
I was gonna start pushing people around.
I was gonna physically
bully you guys, sh*t.
- Your voice is a little bit higher too.
- Hey, guys, f*ck you.
- My voice is exactly the same.
- Bill, you didn't need to shrink me, man.
You didn't need to shrink me.
- You see that he reaches
down into the little vent
he opened and takes a matchbox,
like one of those big matchboxes.
He inflates a little like,
it looks like a newspaper
hot air balloon made out
of The New York Times.
All aboard, here we go.
- How tall, we're like a foot and a half?
- No.
At this point now, you
guys are even smaller,
where you can fit like standing
in a matchbox together.
- I hate this.
- This is cute.
- Oh my god.
- All aboard.
Hoot hoot.
And the little thing begins
to sail over Grand Central
and you guys into the central hallway
with all like the ticket
things and the trains.
You see the beautiful
constellations overhead.
The constellations all
turn to wave at you.
Go, morning there, Bilbry.
Morning there, fellas, how's it going?
- I really wanna jump off
and land on an oyster.
That sounds like it would feel so good.
I'm not going to, I just
wanted to let you know.
- You're right, it would be
like a slippery beanbag chair.
Oh, the cushion.
- Yeah.
- You guys see a number
of little like zeppelins,
hot air balloons, and biplanes are flying
in a little circle
around the central clock
in the kiosk at the
center of Grand Central.
You see the flying around.
You see that he looks out and you see that
Bilbry takes, he sort of
has his goggles on his head.
You see he takes his goggles off
and puts them over his heart as he looks
at the clock at the center
of Grand Central and goes,
there it is, the holy
timepiece, the central clock.
God bless it, look at it go.
I love you, clock.
Love you with all my heart.
And.
So you see that he takes you
guys over to bum bum bum,
hold on one second.
- The amount of wonder in
that moment was so much.
- I know.
- My heart.
Kingston is whatever, but my
heart is so full right now.
- Already going into
Grand Central Station,
it's one of the most
beautiful places in the world.
- Totally.
- Can we say that when I got shrunk
that I had a nip in my
pocket that didn't get shrunk
so now I have a giant nip?
- So you see that he
takes you and he says,
all right, everyone hang on,
we're heading into the Tempest.
And he flies the thing over.
And you see that as you go
towards the constellations,
it turns into just real
sky with storms around it.
Ah, here we go.
And everybody make a
Dexterity check for me,
a Dexterity saving throw,
if you'd be so kind.
- Nat one.
- I also got a nat one.
- I got a 21.
- I got a 13.
Oh no, 16.
You add three to it for my Charisma save.
- All right, you still both fail.
You guys see that Misty and Pete
are flung out of the matchbox.
- Oh my god, can I Mage
Hand to help one of them?
- Mage Hand is five pounds or less.
- Can I Mage Hand to grab
one of them and safe landing
onto an oyster.
- Yes.
Yes.
- You Pete
begins to, ah, fly down.
So, Pete, you are totally cast aside
and you go all the way to the food court
and land on a giant, puffy oyster.
- It's so slimy and it was way
harder than I thought it was.
There was no give.
It was like landing on a muscle.
- You see that someone grabs the oyster
and without looking at it,
begins to move it to their mouth.
- Bilbry, you need to
turn this thing around.
- We gotta wait for the wind storms.
- I turn into a giant eagle,
I turn into a giant eagle.
- I'm just gonna Misty
Step back into the balloon.
- Okay.
- You land back in there.
- I'm on the ground somewhere.
- You're back on the ground.
- Can I Mage Hand to pick him back up?
- You Mage Handed to slow his fall.
Pete, you're fully back in the food court
as you guys head through the storm—
- Okay, giant eagle,
I'll be a giant eagle.
- Cool, you giant eagle to go...
You fly back after Pete.
Pete, give me a Dex save
to jump out of the oyster.
- Oh, Jesus.
Yeah, seven.
- This is wild.
- You stumble, fall.
You take, I'm gonna say...
- What the f*ck is happening?
- You take six points of falling damage
as you land on the floor.
And you see that someone's
emotional support
Jack Russell looks at
you and goes.
- No.
Bad dog, bad dog.
- It runs after you.
- I take out my g*n.
I'm sh**ting this dog.
- Open up on a dog.
- sh**ting this dog's leg.
- You're sh**ting
this dog in the leg,
trying to take its knees out.
- f*ck it.
- We'll cut back to all of you guys.
You soar through these clouds.
You are flying after Pete.
The rest of the four of you,
and you see Bilbry says,
he'll be fine.
- My good sir, you should invest
in some seat belts for this.
- Bilbry, so you shrank us
down without our consent,
then you took, my man is back there.
We gotta go back, Bilbry.
- Behold the train yards
of the clock gnomes.
- I'm having a great time.
- Okay.
- This is a lark.
- Yeah, I'm drinking from my giant nip.
Happy Christmas.
- Happy Christmas.
- You guys arrive back at the...
You guys see this incredible,
extra-dimensional train yard
appears that is kind of like,
you see that spacial magic
has wedged it into the
space between the regular
like Metro-North and Amtrak places.
But you see that there's
a bunch of animated trains
that have like cars and compartments,
but at the front of them
are these like snarling,
chrome-plated dragon heads.
And they are like full size.
You guys are back to
your regular size here
in the train yard.
Kugrash, you giant eagle
your way over to Pete.
You arrive next to Pete
who's sh**ting a dog.
- Don't sh**t the f*cking dog, Pete.
- Ah, an eagle.
- You see how dirty this eagle is?
You think a regular eagle looks like this?
- Kugrash?
- Yeah.
- Oh, okay, thank you.
I ride you like "The Rescuers Down Under".
- I've seen that movie.
I've seen that movie.
I took my f*cking kids to see that.
- Are you crying?
Am I riding a dirty, crying eagle?
This is democracy now.
- I'm such a g*dd*mn bad dad.
- You fly back through the storm,
arrive back at the train yard.
Poof, back to regular size.
You see that Bilbry takes you and says,
you guys wanna pet one of the dragons?
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Absolutely.
- You guys can give me Animal
Handling checks if you'd like.
- Oo yum.
- Let's go get bit.
- 16.
- 23.
- 24.
- 14.
- 24.
- 10.
- 16.
- Kugrash and Kingston, you walk up,
the rest of you guys, the
dragons kind of.
But Kingston and Kugrash, you walk up to
what looks like, you see that this train
appears to be headed
towards something called,
this train has on the side
of it, Clock Gnome Express.
And the little like destination
thing on the front of it
says Realms of Shadow on it.
You see that the dragon kind
of and calms down
as you approach it.
What do you guys do as
you approach the dragon?
- Hey, how you doing, buddy?
- Hello.
- Hey.
I haven't met too many dragons before.
Would you mind if I pet
behind your ears or anything?
Would that be enjoyable for you?
All right.
- A big blast of steam
comes out of its jaws.
- This is a consensual
working environment?
Like you want this, right?
I just wanna check.
- I was created.
- Oh.
- So yes, I like this.
- Oh hell yeah.
How fast you go?
- I can top out at 180.
- Damn.
- That's crazy, man.
- Not bad.
Really not bad.
But that's for the express, you know.
On the local tracks, we don't
get up to that speed but...
- Where do you go to?
Is this Shadow Express?
- Yeah, well I do the Hudson Line.
So it's Yonkers, Croton-Harmon, Peekskill,
Spuyten Duyvil, Ossining,
Tarrytown, and then Shadow Realms.
- Oh, okay.
- Right.
- Which Shadow Realms?
- Oh, Cold Spring.
- Oh, okay.
Never been.
- You guys got some
problems going on down here?
- You see that Bill, the
dragon sort of looks confused,
but Bilbry says, yeah, I can
take you over to the problem.
I can take you over.
Bilbry walks—
- Sorry.
The dragon, what's your name, man?
- What?
- What's your name?
You got a name?
- My name is Centifax.
- All right, C, I'll see you later, man.
- All right, take it easy, Kingston Brown.
- That dragon knew my name.
- Wow, I've never seen
Kingston starstruck before.
- I mean, it doesn't happen of...
I've never been inside
of this place before.
This is pretty nice.
- You guys arrive.
You see that there is this
weird, little gyroscoping
what looks like a tower of
a multi-part cuckoo clock
that is gyrating in different direc...
So it's like concentric rings
of a stacked cuckoo clock
that spin in opposite
directions from each other.
This one has been like
very festively decorated
for the holidays and you see
that Bilbry leads you through,
there's a bunch of other gnomes here.
You're all regular-sized at this point.
You guys are kind of crouched to enter
some of the rooms and hallways.
He brings you to this kind of central
almost like chapel to
clocks and clockwork things.
And he says, High Priestess Hib-Hob.
Are you around here somewhere?
You see that this
old-looking woman appears.
She is a clock gnome.
You see that she's got a couple like warts
that have some whiskers on them,
but this very round, cute face.
She's not only got the
goggles on her head,
but she's got glasses on at the same time
that have those like little
swiveling monocle lenses on them.
She turns around.
She's got like a big kind
of like peasant's gown
and smock on.
Big leather work gloves.
She turns around and goes
well, hello there.
Welcome, one and all.
I am the High Priestess Hib-Hob.
Thanks for coming by.
Bilbry, what's the occasion?
Oh my goodness, Misty Moore.
Hello.
- Oh hello, happy holiday.
- Huge fan.
When are you gonna
release a Christmas album?
That's what I wanna know.
- You know what, I've
been talking about it.
I've been thinking about it.
You see that Bilbry says, well,
these fine folks are here to talk
about the trouble that happened.
Well, very well.
So, well, we had a little bit of a snafu.
I had a little bit of a fainting
spell here in the chapel
the other day.
And one of my most prized
holy books is gone.
- You had a fainting spell?
- Yeah, never happens usually but—
- Are you recently vegetarian?
- No, no.
I eat mechanical parts
like most clock gnomes.
- Are you drinking enough water?
- Or oil?
Are you drinking enough oil?
- I heard eight thimblefuls a
day, but that can't be true.
That's way too much oil.
- No, there's no such
thing as too much oil
if you are a clock gnome, all right?
- Okay.
- Wait, someone took something?
- Yes, yes.
- Some help book.
- Well, one of our
ancient religious books,
the Big Book of Bits and Bobbins.
It's missing.
- Sounds normal.
- What was in that?
- I think I read that in college.
- You see she says, I
would very much doubt it.
Well, the Big Book of Bits
and Bobbins, it's hard to say.
- Say it again.
- The Big Book, sorry.
The Big—
- What was it?
- The Big Book of B...
- The Big Book of Bits and Bobbins?
- They're a proud people, all right?
Some of us can't be humans.
Goddammit.
Respect the gnomes.
- You see she says, so the
Big Book of Bits and Bobbins
went missing very recently.
- What if we just call it the Four B's?
Would that be easier?
- Well no, we should respect
it, it's a religious relic.
So, the Big Book of Bits
and Bobbins went missing.
- And what is in the book?
- Well, like most of our religious books,
it's a bunch of schematics and diagrams
for building religious relics.
- What kind of religious relics?
- Oh, the Big Book of Bits and Bobbins
has some of the most
important religious relics
that we have.
Very many important timepieces.
Watches, clocks, pendulums.
- What about keys?
Could you possibly like fake a key
to the city or something like that?
- Sure.
Well, there's plenty of
locks and keys and all—
- Yeah, locks.
- Locks.
- Can I do a History check or
an Arcana check or something?
- Yeah, give me an
Arcana check if you want.
- Yeah, I'll do one too.
- Door doesn't have a lock.
- 17.
- 14.
- And it needs one.
- Right, but it doesn't
have a lock right now.
- Yeah.
That's what they're trying to do.
- They're trying to build a lock.
Maybe.
- You see that the High
Priestess goes, well, yes.
There's a lot that you could
do there that probably...
Sorry, did anyone beat
a 20 on an Arcana or no?
- Oh.
- I'll try.
- I'll just try, why not?
- I got a nat 20.
- What?
- Yes.
- Nat 20.
- Yes.
- Kingston.
You've never been here before,
but way back in the day
when you first got the Eternal Token
from the Dragon of Bleecker Street,
and probably thinking about
it 'cause you just met
a dragon again, they're
pretty rare in the city,
the Dragon of Bleecker
Street had a massive horde
of treasure and one of its,
back when it was still around,
one of its most prized
possession was this glittering,
sparkling gem, a perfect cut
gem from the clock gnomes,
it was called a Time Stone.
- Mm.
- Mm.
- And the dragon knew that it was a object
of incredible power.
- Mm-hmm.
- Well yeah, most of our most
important relics are in there,
some relics that I dare
not even mention out loud.
- What about the Time Stone?
- How do you know about Time Stones?
- I have a very special relationship
with the Dragon of Bleecker Street.
- Holy...
You see she takes her
little gnome hat off.
- That's very kind of you.
- What happened to the
Dragon of Bleecker Street?
- The Dragon of Bleecker
Street protected us
time and time again from
the chuds and troglodytes
and all manner of things that
tried to destroy our people
and our little village here.
We made that Time Stone for the dragon.
It's one of only, I think,
yeah, that's the last one
we made and the others are
all either gone or safe
or here with us, protected.
- Oh.
- What do they do?
- A Time Stone doesn't
really do too much by itself.
It is an...
If you were to get that book
back, it goes into more detail.
There's a lot of things
to know about Time Stones,
more than I can say right here.
But suffice it to say
that they are objects
that draw on the power of time,
and specifically gain power.
They are aligned with certain times.
And the—
- Oh, like solstice.
- Like a solstice.
- Like tonight.
- Or midnight, the witching hour.
Or something like that.
- And this happened to you last night?
- Yes.
- Hm, during the solstice.
- Can I do a Medicine check on the gnome
to see if there's
anything like to see if—
- If something happened.
- Yeah.
If I think something was put on them
versus their actual state of being.
- Yeah, give me a Medicine check.
- All right.
It's gonna be a 25.
- So, Kingston, you walk over.
You see, she looks up.
- Miss, do you mind
real quick, I'm a nurse,
and so I just wanna take a look at you,
see why you maybe fainted last night.
- Oh, certainly.
Probably, yeah, probably dumb
of me not to have gotten it checked out.
I know you can't sleep with a concussion.
But yeah, if you wanna take a look.
- Yeah.
- You check this here.
High Priestess Hib-Hob was the victim
of a very powerful Sleep spell.
- Mm-hmm.
- That basically put her out.
And you think it seems like
it was probably pixie magic.
- Ah, those f*cking pixies.
- All right.
Great.
- Am I okay?
Is there a bump back there or—
- You're gonna be just fine.
Just make sure, I know it sounds hard,
eight thimblefuls of oil is possible.
- You see Bilbry nods
sensationally as you say that
and pours a little thimbleful
of oil and she goes,
all right.
Well, I had one.
I guess I've only had coffee today.
- There you go.
- Don't vegetables have
oil in them too, though?
So like can't you get some
of your oil from vegetables?
- Very specific magical
vegetables do have oil in them.
- Also avocados, avocados
are great for clock gnomes.
- Have you had any weird, have
you had any other visitors
here recently that aren't just gnomes?
- Yeah, it was a pretty big
schlep to get in here, so...
- Have you had anybody else come through?
- You see, she says—
- Oh.
Were there any pigeons in here?
- Oh, there's always some
pigeons in Grand Central.
But no, here, I'd have
a hard time thinking so.
You know, nobody would
be able to get in here
unless they were able to get
through the storm somehow.
- But there have been
pigeons in here though?
- Sure, some pigeons have
gotten through the storm.
The storm might not be
that hard to get through.
- Is the storm magically protective
or just physically protective?
- Just physically.
- Okay.
So you could teleport through it, perhaps.
- Oh dang.
Yeah, you could.
Oh, we should get on that.
- Yeah, you should maybe get on...
- Bilbry says, well, I'll tell you what.
If we want this place magically protected,
I've been working on something
that turns people into drawings.
- No, thank you.
- You know what, Bilbry—
- Very intense.
- I'm wiping oyster off my body.
- You guys wanna go grab some cheesecake?
'Cause, you know, I just feel like—
- Can I just do a pass around
with my Mirror of Minanon
to see if there's anything invisible?
- You see—
- Ethereal.
- With the Mirror of Minanon,
you look around and see
that there is a little
bit of residual pixie dust
here in the room.
- Ah.
Can I take a little bit
of it and put it in—
- Yes, pick some up, go for it.
- Pete, give me a baggie.
- Oh yeah, for sure.
And I just dump it on the ground
and like kind of smudge it.
- All right, that's a waste.
Not all of us are sober.
- I'm swimming in money.
- Wonderful, guys.
Yeah, you guys head off
to go get some cheesecake.
The gnomes see Bilbry flies you back.
Well, it's been an absolute pleasure.
Feel free to come back anytime.
- Well—
- I definitely will.
- Thank you.
- Bill,
can I have a motorcycle?
- What's that?
- Can I have a little motorcycle?
- I'll build you...
You want a motorcycle?
- Yeah.
- I can build you something
better than a motorcycle.
- Hell yeah, man.
- He'll just take a motorcycle.
- What about instead of
wheels on the bottom,
it has wheels on the top?
- I'll take that one.
- Okay.
You see he—
- I'll take a regular one.
- He takes off.
- He's very enthusiastic
but sometimes too creative.
- He's riding around
on a little cool thing.
I want that.
- I want that too.
- Everybody, you know, if we are gnomes,
none of you are, should be
drinking eight thimblefuls of oil
a day, but nah, that woman was hit
with a very powerful
Sleep spell by pixies.
- Well—
- Wow.
- I do have a spell called Locate Creature
that works better if I have,
and I shake the pixie dust,
a little bit of something from them—
- That's great, that's great.
Let's do it.
- I just wanna, just as an update,
I spied on my family and they were working
with the Confettis.
They owe Don Confetti another favor
'cause we f*cked them over
by k*lling Isabella Infierno,
but they did mention the
Confettis, they're nothing.
They're sh*t.
They're working for someone else.
They're under someone else.
- It was probably Bob, right?
- Probably Bob.
- Did you burn your house down?
- I did.
- What?
- I'm sorry.
- What?
- I, you know—
- Do you need a place to stay?
- Sometimes you gotta burn a bridge
so you don't go backwards.
- Well, but you didn't burn
a bridge, you burned a house.
- Yes.
- Yeah, your house.
- Yeah.
- Did you—
- I did, yeah.
- It feels really reckless.
I just wanna throw that out there.
- I'm sorry.
You know what, Ricky, I didn't
realize as I was doing it
that you might take it personally and I—
- I just can't believe you'd do that.
- I realize now how potentially
offensive that was to you
and I'm really sorry.
I should have come up with a better,
a safer way to recklessly
abandon my previous life
and make peace with my husband's death.
I'm sorry.
- Does Misty cast Locate Creature?
- Yes.
- Wonderful.
- So it's if the creature is
within a thousand feet of you
and if the creature is moving,
you know the direction of it.
- How long does it take to cast?
- It's one action and then
it's a concentration spell
that lasts up to an hour.
- Should we save it for when we think
that we're right near where they are?
- I have the bagel, should I use the bagel
to ask a question about
if it's close or not?
- Yeah, you're right.
- Oh.
- So, I'm gonna use my Divination Bagel.
All right, guys, I pull out my bagel.
- Scrape off the crumbs—
- Scrape off some crumbs.
- Oh my god, that looks so good.
- And I ask the powers that be, Bobrace,
dirt and sh*t of the city, are we,
how, you know, hot,
cold, where in the middle
are we to these pixies that f*cked up
this poor little gnome?
- North, south, east, west.
- You see that the
answer comes back to you.
Divine in the different
sesame seeds and poppy seeds
and little bits of onion on the plate
that the pixies have long since vacated
and are nowhere in the premises.
But you see that the plate also tells you
to hold onto the pixie dust.
- Okay.
- Great.
- Cool.
- The bagel has spoken.
- Do we know where these
pixies normally congregate?
- Oh yeah, where was the hole again?
- You could call the pigeons.
- Yeah, get Perry on the job.
- That's great.
- I do worry that the
pigeons are working now
with the pixies.
- I think the pigeons are so
dumb, we can always use them.
- Not to mention, Perry
loves, I mean let's be honest,
we all see it, Perry's
got a thing for you.
- Perry's head over heels.
- No, he's just a pigeon.
- I've never had someone that
in love with me in my life.
- Honestly, no.
- I have a few times, but not
for a couple hundred years.
- Wonderful.
So you guys have some loose plans here
but I just wanna also,
just because of time,
wanna move us along.
You guys, do you wanna
reach out to pigeons
or investigate pixies
or anything like that?
- Do we wanna go to the
pixie place or do we...
Yeah, I'll, should I waste that?
It's a 3rd level spell, Conjure Animals.
- Can you call her?
Did you text her?
- Can you text Perry?
- Yeah, can you just text Perry?
- Yeah, can I just contact Perry?
I'd like to contact Perry.
- Yeah, Perry contacts you and says,
ha, I've been waiting for this message.
- Hey, Perry, you been, I
know Ronald Pigeon married
into the pixie family, yeah?
You pigeons been working
with pixies at all?
- Well, we've been around their space.
If you want us to keep an eye on them,
I'd be happy to do that for you.
- That'd be great, Perry, I
would really appreciate it.
- Oh my god, you're manipulative.
- I'll be a shadow, unseen,
in the distance, always watching.
They'll never know my movements,
but I will know all of theirs.
- My guy on the inside.
- By my life or death,
I'm gonna f*ck you one day.
- All right, Perry.
- One day.
- Perry, you know what, let's
not mix business and pleasure.
I know we have strong
feelings for each other,
but we have to work together
through this deep sexual tension.
- I'll let you know as soon as I...
It might be a couple days,
but I'll let you know as
soon as I find something out.
- Kugrash, this is immoral.
I'm gonna tell you all right
now, this is very immoral.
- Unless you have feelings
for Perry that you've been dodging—
- You know what?
Easy to respect the fact that
I just want to be friends.
This is on Perry.
- You just told him that you
don't want to be friends.
- So, you've got stuff to do.
I get it, I'm on your side—
- Thank you, thank you, Misty.
- I guess I burned my own house down.
- You guys, the next couple days pass by
as Christmas fast approaches.
- Let's talk about Christmas comes around.
Let's see where we're gonna start.
So, a beautiful Christmas
at Kingston's place
uptown in Harlem.
Pete, you eat like a f*cking king.
What do you guys do at
your beautiful Christmas?
Oh, you see that cousins
and uncles and aunts
and other families from the
building and the block come by.
You guys stack tables up so it movies,
like there's tables in the kitchen
and just like long,
multi-room table gets built.
Just joy and wonder, the
kids wake up that morning.
- I got a haircut and I'm
wearing like a really nice chain
and like the cleanest jersey I own.
- Incredible.
You see that all of
Kingston's various nieces
and nephews are like very into the chain,
very into the tattoos, very
into your weird haircut,
either to celebrate and ask questions,
or to actively mock and make fun of.
- Yeah, that's probably most of it.
- Yeah.
- I'm in suit pants also.
Like pinstripe suit pants
and the jersey's tucked in.
I don't know what I'm doing, man.
- Pete, honestly, it's Christmas.
You can be whatever you want.
- That's really, it takes
a lot off my mind, man.
- Of course, man.
I mean, I'mma wear a white
T-shirt, some khaki pants.
- Oh great.
- And a blazer.
- Oh, a blazer, that's what I need.
I look for a blazer.
- A blazer over a jersey?
- Can I give Pete a Christmas present?
- Absolutely.
- Here you go, Pete.
- Oh my god.
- It's a bag of cherry tomato seeds.
I thought you might be able to,
you know, we could put a planter
on the roof or something.
- I'm big into gardening.
Oh man, thank you so much.
- I mean, if you're still
here or wherever you go.
I mean, you don't have to be here.
I don't wanna assume like that.
But wherever you go, you
know, here's some big,
big bunch of cherry seeds.
And then also, you know, I was
walking around Times Square
and I saw this zebra cowboy hat
and I thought you might like that.
So, I don't know.
- I swap it out for my
cowboy hat immediately
and I now I look full-on like
I've been dared to dress this way.
- You see that Winston also gets you...
You're like flush with
gifts for the first time
in probably a couple Christmases.
And you see that Winston
gets you a set of dominoes
and looks, there you go, kid.
I'm gonna kick your a*s.
- Oh no, you're not.
- I'm gonna kick your a*s, my friend.
- No, you're not.
This is so nice.
- And you see that Victoria
has been very worried about you
and gets you this giant puffy sweater.
- Oh, thank you.
- A big Christmas sweater
for you to stay warm.
Kingston, you actually get a gift too.
- Really?
- Yes, you do.
You get one of those
nice, really like gourmet,
not overly sugary, like very
tasteful chocolate bars,
that's like one of those
expensive chocolate bars.
And you get a MetroCard that
is purple and covered in stars
much like the train to Nod was.
- Oh, okay.
Very, very nice.
- Can we also say I had the foresight,
just 'cause during this I wanted to,
I wanna have sent everyone
edible arrangements.
It's just 'cause it will arrive.
- I'm eating the driest strawberry
I've ever had in my life.
- The pineapple is so—
- Do you have your family's
names in front of you?
- Yes, yes.
- I take the edible arrangement—
- David, what's his wife?
- David and Diane.
- And Diane.
And his kids, do you have his kids' names?
- Matt and Delia.
- Matt and Delia?
- Yes.
- I'm sure people will eat this.
- Kugrash, you have,
Wally goes out with you.
You have Christmas Eve with him.
You guys are talking all day,
and the next day you head out.
- I also would like to say,
I want to have like summoned
animals the night before
and I wanna give Wally
a Christmas present.
I want to give him a dog.
I want to have like
domesticated a stray dog
with my druidic powers.
- He's so happy.
He goes, aw, it's a little buddy for me.
- Right, yeah.
- I love him.
He's great.
I'm gonna name him Dad after you.
- That's a great name, Wally.
- Oh, Wally.
- You see that, you go out
to Forest Hills that day.
It's a very stressful time.
There's two dogs in the back.
Wally shows up at the door.
And he goes up to the
door and he winks at you.
David enters and goes, hey,
Wally, merry Christmas.
Gives him a hug and he
goes, I got two dogs.
One is Dad.
- And you see that he
looks down and you see,
he looks down and goes,
oh, this one's named Dad.
Very cute, Wally.
- David, I need to talk
to you for a second.
I speak as a dog.
- As a dog?
He looks at you and he goes...
What?
- We need to—
- I'm gonna need you
to make a Wisdom check to
break the Umbral Arcana.
It's a DC 20 Wisdom check
to snap him into the Umbral Arcana.
- Can I use Dispel Magic or anything—
- You can use Dispel Magic.
So that's gonna be your spell attack
instead of Wisdom to beat a DC 20.
- Okay, I'll do that.
f*ck, 14.
- 14.
So you see, he goes, you go,
David, I wanna talk to you.
And you see, hey, there's a good boy, huh.
And scratches behind your ear.
- Oh god.
- There's a good boy.
Come on, he's a feisty little guy.
- Well, Wally, at least
you don't need to lie.
We're f*cked.
- He scoops you up and you're
in David's arms in a hug.
- I lick my son's face.
- You see, he goes, ah.
He says, I like this guy,
what's this guy's name?
And you see, he goes, his name is Kugrash.
And you see he goes, Kugrash, all right.
Sits down.
And you spend a Christmas
Day in front of a warm fire
in a nice home with your grandchildren.
- I'm running around,
playing with my grandkids.
- Aw, that's sweet.
- Oh my god.
- Oh my god.
- Having a great dog time
but also being devastated.
- You eat delicious dog
food and it's the best.
It's the best Christmas
that you've had in years,
far and away.
- Oh my god.
Huh.
- Sofia.
- Wow.
- For your Christmas.
- Mm-hmm.
- You see that Jackson
says that the monastery
doesn't take Christmas off.
- Oh.
So I can't even go to my family.
- You see, he says, you can
leave for your own reasons,
you can, but we'll be here training.
- Can I take a half day?
- You can take a half day.
- All right.
I'm just gonna show up
at my family's house.
I'm still dressed in
all black in mourning.
- Mm-hmm.
- And I bring an uncooked Christmas goose.
- Jesus.
- That's amazing.
- And then I'm just gonna go in.
- You head in.
You have the most tense family dinner.
Everyone, you see—
- I'm there like
as an act of defiance.
Like that's me being like
I'm not scared of you.
That's my purpose of going there.
- It's a mostly silent dinner table.
Your dad every once in
awhile will be like,
good stuff, uh-huh, it's good.
- Is there, I also wanted to...
I don't know if this would
work with the Umbral Arcana,
but I wanted to use Hellish
Rebuke to cook the goose
in front of them as like a casual—
- They don't know what they're looking at,
but you see they go like,
ah, I guess it was cooked.
- All right, I'll take that.
I'll take that minor confusion.
- They're like a little bit confused.
You see that your mom, when you show up,
she's the only one who
really says anything.
As you show up, she says,
glad you're here for Christmas, Sof.
And about 20 minutes into dinner,
she excuses herself and comes back in
and has taken off her
little Christmas sweater
and is wearing a black top.
- Oh my god.
- You see that—
- I think I'm gonna leave
her a little note before I leave.
Like a jewelry box that I know my father
would never go into.
And I'm gonna give her like the number
to my new burner phone and
I'm just gonna say I love you,
Mom, but I don't trust
the rest of the family.
This is my new phone number,
but it's only for you.
- After you leave Christmas
dinner that night,
you get a little text on your phone
which is a like, oh and it's
like your little burner phone,
but you see it's like a photo image
of a screen capture of one
of those merry Christmas
email forwards that moms send.
And she sends it to you on your phone.
- I send her a selfie back.
A Sofie selfie.
- You get the response back, so cute.
Love the hair.
- Sweet.
- Ricky.
Ricky, Ricky, Ricky.
What are you doing for Christmas?
Breakfast with your family?
- Ricky probably did
like a early Christmas
with his family and then
he's at the firehouse,
you know, working the like, you know,
someone's gotta be working shift.
And he probably sent
everybody advanced previews
of the next year's fireman's calendar.
- Oh.
- Oh my god.
If I had known that, I
would've just stayed home.
- Incredible.
Oh, I forgot to mention, by the way,
Kingston, your Christmas,
you're trapped with a lot of your cousins.
There's like, it's so full,
it's just the most vibrant,
like warm, it's like hot in
here with all the people.
You see that a lot of
your friends of the family
are talking to you when Pete is around
and are mentioning like
all the different fields
and jobs they work in.
And some of them are working at places
that are hiring right now.
- I think I'm constantly being like,
talking about Pete and how talented he is,
and how outgoing he is
and his go-getter nature,
and the fact that he's in
between things right now
and that it would be, I don't know.
Somebody might be very lucky.
- You look over, I'm in
a really puffy sweater
and a zebra cowboy hat.
- Yeah, he just has a ton of personality.
I'm telling you right now.
I mean, this kid, he walks into a room—
- Well, the bookstore,
we just need reliability.
- Well, let me tell you
something right now.
Your books, what are your
sales at the bookstore?
- I mean—
- Double that.
Double that.
- Wait, what team is your jersey for?
- The Pistons.
It's like an old Pistons jersey.
- Cool.
At the firehouse, you see
that you guys are having,
the Johns are all there.
You see that they're
making like fire Heston,
or you guys are all having your
like firefighter secret Santa.
You see that probably like
the third year in a row,
one of the Johns has gotten
you "The Four Agreements".
The self-help book.
And he's like, bro, I'm gonna
be honest with you right now,
these changed my life.
- That's so f*cking funny.
- Dude, your word is impeccable, right?
You live by your word.
- Awesome.
- And you don't take anything personally,
'cause anything that someone
does that you feel like
offends you, like that's just
someone living their truth,
living their life, right?
- Got it.
This is a really good gift, thank you.
- Hey, dude, I'm always
here for you to talk
about your feelings.
And John is always here
if you need to talk
about your feelings.
And John is always here if
you need someone to talk
about your feelings.
- I appreciate that.
Yeah, I'm good right now.
I pretty much have said everything
I felt every time we talk, dude.
- You see that one of them
puts back a Miller High Life
and goes, f*ck it, dude.
You guys wanna go caroling sometime?
- I'd love to.
- You see that all three
of them start going like...
- You're all just like
holding each other and...
At that exact moment,
you guys are kind of like
in the, near where the firetruck is.
As you're like holding
each other and singing,
you see that Esther rounds the corner.
- Oh, hey.
- f*ck, you know the
Johns, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.
Bail, bail, bail, bail, bail.
- It's all right, it's okay.
Hey, don't bail.
Hey, Esther, we're just singing.
- Hey, are you Esther?
Hey, my name's John.
This is my boy, John,
this is my boy, John.
And you see that they
all go over to Esther.
They're like, hey, we're all gonna head up
because we are making some eggnog.
If you guys want in, holler.
If not, that's chill.
Later.
And you see—
- Thank you, thank you.
- You see that Esther has some
gift-wrapped presents next to her.
And she looks at you and says, hey, Ricky.
And she has a little Santa Claus hat on.
You see she says, hey, Ricky.
I know I should have texted.
I was just sort of in the area
'cause I'm sort of on the way to...
I'm sorry.
Christmas is a hard time of year for me.
And I was wondering if
I could impose on you,
I know, you're obviously
working right now.
Forget it, I'm sorry.
- No, no.
What's up?
What's up?
What's up, Esther?
- Give me a Perception check.
- I got a 18.
- You see that she has
two gifts under her arm
and one says for Mom and
one says for Grandma.
- Oh.
Do you, I mean, there's,
we got everybody here.
I could peel off if you need
some help with something.
- Yeah.
I was just wondering, I know that you,
part of you being sort of
the champion that you are,
it feels good to be around
you, magically speaking.
Magically speaking.
When there are certain
arcane forces present.
So I was wondering if
you could keep company
on a little errand that I have to run.
- Yeah.
Awesome.
- Thanks.
You head off with her.
Do you bring Ox with you or no?
- Yes.
- Cool.
You guys go along.
She walks with you.
She's pretty silent for most of the trip.
- Do, so you're giving some gifts
to your grandmother and mom?
- Yeah.
Yeah yeah yeah.
- It's good to give gifts, right?
- Yeah, obviously.
It's important to let people know—
- Oh, I give her a calendar.
- She looks at it and goes oh, wonderf...
Hey.
- Just for the dates and stuff.
It's good to keep track.
I'm not naturally very organized,
so it's just I find that it helps me.
- Thank you, Ricky, I appreciate it.
Thank you, I appreciate it.
- Good god.
- You guys go to the Lower East Side
and as you get to the Lower East Side,
you head over to Tompkins Square Park.
Sort of, this is like a wild place.
And you feel a lot of like
weird magic down here,
forces of chaos kind of moving around.
But in Tompkins Square Park at the border
of Alphabet City, and as
you walk into the park,
you see there's like a
little layer of frost
and the trees are bare of leaves.
And as you step further
in, a small glade appears,
sort of grotto in the midst of the park.
And as you walk up, you
see there are two women
standing in the park,
clothed in winter robes.
One of them is hunched over,
leaning on a wooden staff
with these white and faded like lavender,
icy blue, silvery robes.
And you see that the other
is standing very tall.
Taller than you and Esther.
Both women, you immediately recognize
as having a family resemblance to Esther.
And you see that the tall
woman does not hold a staff
but instead holds a sort of scepter.
This beautiful wrought thing.
Her eyes and the eyes of the older woman
are completely sort of milky white
as though their sight has left their body.
You see Esther walks up and puts the gifts
down in front of them.
The woman who's sort of standing erect,
she looks to be sort of not as old
as the woman who's hunched over,
but sort of, you know, 50s
or 60s, something like that.
Goes, you have come
again, daughter of sorrow.
Your time to join us will come soon.
And you see that there is
this little like sewing wheel
next to them, this old school sewing wheel
with a little needle pointing out.
And you see that she
goes, the time will come
where you appear before us.
When blood is drawn by the
needle, we are complete.
The time will come soon
for you to join us.
You see Esther says,
hey, Mom, hey, Grandma.
It's Christmastime and I'm
not expecting a reaction
or a thank you or anything
but I want you to know
that I defy you, I defy
the prophecy, I defy this.
I've learned as much magic as I can
to make this never happen
and merry Christmas.
I love you both very much.
And you see she leaves the
gifts in front of them.
And she walks over and you
see that the two figures
don't look menacing at
all, and actually bend over
as she goes to kiss
them each on the cheek.
And she turns around and looks at you,
the two figures look over at you,
Ricky, and kind of regard you coolly.
And Esther turns around.
Not crying, looks like
she's got it together.
And goes, all right,
we can head out, Ricky.
- I'm Ricky, by the way.
- You see that the old woman says,
what darkness lies in the
heart of Ricky Matsui?
Esther goes, no.
And you see that she opens
a portal to like light
comes out of your heart and she's like,
darkness, reveal itself.
- So what, um.
- Where is the dark?
Darkness, reveal.
- Yeah, let me, I don't know.
Is it in there?
- This normally, darkness, reveal itself!
- I just take a couple
steps closer and like.
- Don't help me do this.
- Oh, okay, yeah.
- Fine, fine, fine.
That's insane.
Something's wrong with you.
Honestly, that's your
darkness is that that's,
that situation's insane.
- Yeah, okay, got...
Do you want a calendar?
- You see that the, you know,
both of them sort of say,
be gone from this place,
speaking in unison.
And Esther says, come on, Ricky, let's go.
She laughs a little bit and
grabs your arm as she walks out.
She's like, I'm very glad that happened.
That's very funny.
- I fully forgot my jacket.
I'm so cold.
- When you see that she
goes, thanks for that.
I appreciate it.
Do you care to know about
what any of that was about
or do you?
- I could go either way.
Do you want me to know?
'Cause I don't have to know.
But I wanna know if you want me to know.
- You see, she says, honestly,
maybe some other time.
- Okay.
- Thanks for helping me out.
- No problem.
- And she walks away with you.
Misty.
You have your lovely
Christmas like probably like
holiday party people over, yeah.
- Yeah, I mean, theater
people, so many people
are from out of town
and the show must go on.
You know, you don't
really get a holiday off.
And then I also have one of those trees
that's like so tall and
so exquisitely decorated
and has those like
thick ribbons around it.
- Yes, like a mall Christmas tree.
- Well, you know, like the
Presidential Christmas tree.
- The city's Christmas tree.
- Is it somebody's job that
they make these Christmas trees?
- Yeah, your holiday parties
are like the talk of the town.
People love these f*cking holiday parties.
And everyone's having a ball.
People are talking, laughing.
Alissa's running around,
trying to get everything right.
You see that Benjamin's talking to Perry.
Perry's very excited 'cause
the musical's about to open.
You see everyone is f*cking here.
Art luminaries, Stephen Sondheim is here.
Stephen goes, Misty, I
understand that you're going
to really wow us with this performance.
I'm very, very excited for
what we're about to see.
- Well, I'm just so
excited for you to see it
because I really think
it's some great work.
And I really feel like I'm
aging into this new thing
which is so fun, you know what I mean?
Everybody else seems so
stressed out about getting old,
but I love it.
It's just a new aspect of me.
- Oh, I couldn't agree more.
Age before beauty, as they say.
- Oh, absolutely.
- Alissa comes up and says, Ms. Moore,
I'm so sorry to interrupt.
- Every time, Alissa.
- I hate myself, I fully hate myself.
- You just, all the talking you're doing
is wasting more of my time.
- Help help help.
There's some people at the door.
They're not on the list but they said that
you would know them and they
were here for the party.
- Sure.
Darling, I'll be right back.
Don't worry.
And I go to the door.
- You see Robert Moses and
his four pals at the door.
- Oh, Robert, so nice to see you.
Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, Ms. Moore.
I would come in myself but my friends
actually need to be invited in.
- Why don't we go up to the roof
and have a little chat there?
- Oh, well.
After you, Ms. Moore.
And he walks up.
You go to the roof.
You see the other vampires give you
a little bit of distance.
You see that he lights up
a little cigarette and says, smoke?
- No, no, I would never.
My voice.
- That's right.
Well, I heard this was
the soiree of the season.
- Yes, it's a thrilling little bash.
I do love the holidays.
Little sing-song around the piano.
- Yeah.
- Love and joy and peace.
- I thought I'd drop by.
That was some showdown at
that kid's art party, huh?
- Yes.
That building, very dangerous.
- I'd say so.
- A lot of fire.
- I'm a reasonable man and I like
to resolve things peacefully
where and when I can.
- Well, I'm a reasonable woman
and I do love peace, as you know.
- Things are gonna get bad.
They're gonna get real bad.
I understand what this show
is all about that you're doing
and I wanna offer to help broker something
between you and the fae
court, get you out of New York
while it's still safe.
No punishment, no debt, no nothing.
I can make it very easy for you.
- You know, Robert, I love a comedy.
And I love a farce.
I'd like to remind you of
who it is that started this
and it's not me and it's not my friends.
But I can assure you,
Robert Moses, that we
will be the ones to end it
if you do not.
Do you understand me?
- Clear as crystal.
He flicks the cigarette butt away.
Merry Christmas, Misty.
- Merry Christmas to you
and to you, a goodnight.
- They vanish.
It's the day of Misty's opening.
Oh my god, the musical.
It's happening.
- I've given away so many
free tickets at this point
that there are some people that are—
- Who are the people that you've,
actually, give me a quick
list of who you've invited.
- Oh, honestly, I don't
remember who I gave—
- Oh, incredible.
- Everybody we met, I feel
like I gave tickets to.
- A sh*t-load of people are here.
All of you guys are here
for Misty's big night.
- I have like three rows of
tickets that are all my guests.
- Perfect, perfect, perfect.
- I did put on, even
though I'm in mourning
and I'm trying to be an aesthetic monk,
I did go out and buy a really
tight black dress for this.
- You guys watch the play starts.
It's on Broadway, the lights.
You go through the lobby.
The little sippy cups of wine.
Beautiful old theater.
Cherubs and unicorn stone.
In box seats, incredible.
Misty, you see that Stephen
Sondheim winks at you
and says, knock 'em dead.
I'm excited.
You see, break a leg.
- Such a fan.
- The first act, Misty f*cking kills it.
The ritual's going off without a hitch.
Intermission, you guys
are all out in the lobby.
- Some hell of a show, right?
- Yeah.
- Not bad.
Misty's good.
- Misty's really good.
- Like, I know she's good, but she's good.
- I grew up watching musicals
on Broadway and stuff,
it's so fun—
- It's my first play.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Wow.
- How long have you been in the city?
- My life.
- The second half starts up.
Misty, you're in costumes
to town, you're k*lling it.
It's the showstopper number,
and you see that Alissa
comes over and says,
all right, I know you're
about to go on, everything's in place.
It's all done, sconces, the
holly, the saucer of milk.
And the mirror, I have
the mirror in place.
- No no no, what mirror?
No.
- The standing mirror from your room.
- No.
- You said to put it...
Wasn't that supposed to
come here to the play?
- No, absolutely not.
It was supposed to go to storage.
- Misty, five, four, three, two, go, go.
- You step onstage.
As you guys see Misty comes out and belts
the opening notes to this thing,
the mirror is back in the set dressing.
All of you guys see.
The mirror begins to glow.
From the wings, you guys
see in their own box seat,
Don Confetti and his pixies
all look around and go,
'cause they're great
supporters of the arts,
all kind of making eyes
at you in the first half
of the show, all look
at it and go, holy sh*t.
Holy sh*t, holy sh*t.
You see Don Confetti goes, oh no.
The greatest disaster I can imagine.
This is horrible.
The mirror glows.
The Lady Titania, and a host
of Seelie warriors steps
through the mirror.
I'm gonna need all of
you to roll Initiative.
- Talk about stage effects.
- Oh.
- And that's all for this
episode of "The Unsleeping City".
Tune in next week as the show must go on.
- Two ones.
- Two nat ones.
- You find ourselves opening
night with Misty Moore
taking the stage.
Holy sh*t, it's the
Lady Titania back again.
- What the f*ck do we do?
- Let's k*ll Titania.
- You're hitting her.
In the middle of a jump.
- Foom, boom, boom, boom.
- You are lit the f*ck up this round.
- What are you even doing, dude?
- You're sick.
- Stop this guy.
- If this ritual doesn't
go off without a hitch,
it's the end of your reincarnations.
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03x11 - Home for the Holidays
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.