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05x01 - Penn the Magic Dragon

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Penn & Teller: Fool Us". Aired: 7 January 2011 – present.*
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A magic competition television series in which magicians perform tricks in front of American magician-comedian duo Penn & Teller.

05x01 - Penn the Magic Dragon

Post by bunniefuu »

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

- From the Penn & Teller Theater

at the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas,

here's our host,
Alyson Hannigan!


♪ ♪

- Hey!

[cheers and applause]

Welcome to "Fool Us."

The magic bus
just pulled up,

and tonight's challengers

are gonna attempt to take
Penn and Teller to school.

The only way
to get a passing grade

is to pull one over
on our pair of professors,

and here they are now.

Penn and Teller!

[cheers and applause]

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

Hello.

Oh, thank you!

- Who's here?

- All right,
class is in session.

Let's meet our first
potential fooler.

- I'm Matt Marcy,
and I'm a comedy magician.


I always wanted my magic
to be more


than just a series of tricks,

and so I created a stage play.

Opening night,

I looked out in the audience,

and Teller was sitting there.

I never met him before,
and after the show,


I chatted with him
for quite a while,


and he gave me

great thoughts and advice.

I wanted to go a step further,

and so I created a web series

about a magician.

I'm a magician.

- Oh, okay.

What instrument?

- The purpose of the web series

was to explore magicians
as human beings.


Magicians will be looking
for success.


That's how Criss Angel made it.

They'll be looking for love.

- Okay, magic boy.

And they'll see that
through the lens of magic.


A magician is, first,
a person,

and he wants all the things

that every person would want.

[cheers and applause]

- Our next act puts the F
in funny and fooler.

Please welcome Matt Marcy.

[cheers and applause]

- Thank you very much.

You know, I'm normally
a comedy magician,

but because this is "Fool Us,"

tonight, I wanted to do

something a little different.

A giant, over-the-top,

Las Vegas-style

grand illusion.
What do you think?

[cheers and applause]

Okay.

Uh, I've actually brought
four with me.

I only have time for one.

But I'm gonna let you choose
the one I do,

and to make that choice fair,

I made this simple poster.

It says,

"The trick that will fool
Penn and Teller will be..."

A, B, C, or D.

Penn, you get the choice.

- Uh, C.
- C.

Very good choice.
Very confident.

Let's see what you didn't pick.

You could've picked A,
and tonight,

I'd be performing for you...

The appearing
Empire State Building.

Oh!

The Empire State Building
vanishes from New York,

appears right on this stage.

It doesn't even fit,
but it's magic.

[laughter]

Not tonight.
Could've gone with B.

That was, uh,
one of my favorites.

That's the levitating shark.

Ah, a 2,000-pound great white

floats around,
eats three people.

It's spectacular.

[laughter]

And D--I was hoping for D--

D was the, uh--

the deadly double b*llet catch.

Oh!

Nobody figures that out.

- [laughs]

- But you picked C.
- I did.

- That is why I was hoping
you would pick it.

It's my favorite one on there,

the most spectacular illusion
I know.

Get ready, because tonight,

I will be performing for you...

a card trick!

[laughter]

Excellent choice, Penn.

I love card tricks.
I brought a deck of cards.

Jumbo deck,
so we can all see,

and I should be honest.
I love card tricks,

but card tricks
used to be simple, right?

You pick a card,
the magician would find it.

Very easy.

Lately, I have seen
these complex card tricks

I can't follow,
so tonight,

I will do the opposite of that,

and I will create for you

the world's simplest card trick,

and I have simplified it
the way anybody would:

with a clear and concise
PowerPoint presentation.

[laughter]

So here it is,
ladies and gentlemen:

The world's simplest
card trick.

Now, I should begin
by explaining

that of magic tricks,
cards make up 62%.

It's actually--
it's actually a bit odd.

You see
from this graph,

as the number of card tricks
go up,

the quality of the magician
goes down.

[laughter]

However,
according to this graph,

as the number of graphs go up,

the quality of the magician
goes up, so I'm in good shape.

Here's a few more graphs
with that statistic,

in case you missed it.

Here it is in 3D.

- [laughs]

- Now, of those tricks--

uh, 99% are bad card tricks.

Really, only like 1% of card tricks

are any good,
but this trick

falls right about...

there.
Right there, yes.

Of those tricks, 79% are
the "pick a card,"

or the PAC card tricks,


the NCS tricks,

and only 3%
are the most difficult kind,

the "think of a card" tricks.

That's what we'll do tonight.

In a minute, somebody here
will TOAC,

and, uh, Alyson,

would you mind helping?

- Sure.
- In a moment, I will ask you

to TOAC.

- Okay.
- Very good.

Now, it would appear that Alyson

has a free choice
of 52 different cards.

- Mm.

[laughter]

- Actually, we did studies.
We found that women

tend to choose red cards.

Men tend to choose black cards.

Kids, of course,
choose the joker.

Please don't choose the joker.
No joker.

Also, two very popular cards--

I don't want to influence you.

They can be chosen
if you would like.

The queen of hearts
and the ace of spades.

But they are
very common choices.

Uh, a lot of women
choose the queen of hearts

because it represents love,
and beauty,

and, of course,
decapitation.

Remember her?

[laughter]

Then we have the ace of spades
for the guys

because it represents strength.

It's known as the b*llet card,

which is weird,
because a spade is a shovel.

It should be known
as the gardening card,

but it's not.
It's known as the b*llet card,

not to be confused
with a b*llet point.

That looks like this.

[laughter]

So Alyson, for the first time,

would you please TOAC?

Think of a card.

- Um...

Nine of clubs.

- The--the T, the "think"...
- Oh.

- Was key for this to work.
Yeah.

[laughter]

- Sorry.
- So forget the nine.

Think of a card.
- Yeah.

- Got one?

- Now I do.
- Very good.

Now,

change your mind, CYM,

to another card, AOC.

- Mm-kay.
- You got a new one?

- Yeah.
- Good.

Alyson, in your mind, IYM,

turn your card face down, FD,

and visualize
the back of the card,

the BOTC.

[laughter]

- Okay.
- These are

the rider back cards.
They're made by

The United States
Playing Card Company.

Of course, they were founded
in Cincinnati, Ohio.

If you haven't been there,
here's a picture of Cincinnati,

courtesy of Google Maps.

- [laughs]

[applause]

- Let's review.

[laughter]

So far, I asked Alyson
to TOAC.

Then she CYM'd to AOC,

IYM, she turned the card FD,

and visualized the BOTC,

made by the USPCC

from Cincinnati, OH.

Okay?

- Okay.

- So Alyson,

for the first time,
name the card

you're thinking of.

- Eight of clubs.

- Eight of clubs.
- Mm-hm.

And that's your card, the one
that IYM, you turned FD?

- [laughs]
Sure.

- Excellent, Alyson.
Well done.

In this deck of cards,
there are 52 cards.

They are all facing
in one direction.

However, IYM,
in your mind,

you turned a single card
FD, face down,

so one card, somewhere
in there, should be reversed

from all the rest,
and they can be tough to spot.

If anyone sees it,
let me know.

Oh, I see it.

One card is turned over
in the deck.

Now, Alyson,

if that is the eight of clubs,

would that be a good trick?

- Yeah.
Definitely.

- That'd be
a freaking miracle, Alyson.

- I know.
- There's no floating shark.

This is it, okay?
- Yeah.

Yeah.

- You had a free choice
of 52 cards.

You randomly
picked the eight of clubs,

and I told you,
this isn't just any card trick.

This is the world's simplest

card trick.

- Oh!

Matt Marcy!

That was awesome.

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

Wow.

That must k*ll at conventions.

- They love it.
Everyone loves it everywhere.

We've all suffered
through PowerPoint.

It doesn't just have
to be corporate stuff.

Everyone has been through
these slide shows.

- That's
the best PowerPoint ever.

It's so entertaining.
- Thank you!

- Right, and funny,

and--yeah.
- And there's a card trick.

- So--so how did you
come up with this idea?

- Well, I like to wrap my magic

in, like, presentations
that people can relate to

and connect with,
and I always thought PowerPoint

was one of those things.

- Yeah.
- So it made sense for me

to do that, and all of my stuff
is comedy magic,

but it's all tied in
with story,

so stories about my life,
stories about people I know,

stories about things
I've experienced.

Uh, I actually developed

a stage show
and a web series

about a magician
that's all story-based

and mixes magic
and storytelling.

That's always been sort of
what I'm most interested in.

- That's cool.
All right,

let's go to the boys.
- All right, let's see

what they have to say.
- See if they've

figured it out or not.

- Oh, man.
You know, Teller saw

your show in LA.
You have a one-man show in LA.

And Teller saw this.
As soon as he saw you come out,

he was thrilled.
- Oh.

- He was already over the moon,

and I--I hadn't
seen you before,

and it's just k*ller.

Just so great.
I mean, I--

I could not be
more sick of TED talks.

I believe that, uh, oration

in the United States of America

has been destroyed

by PowerPoint.
- Uh-huh.

- I think they're
the worst things in the world,

and the moment when you brought
up the Google map

of Cincinnati--
what--what a great,

really funny things.
- Oh.

- And the basic rule
with comedy magicians

is they're never that funny,

and the magic's
never that good,

and, uh, you--
you disproved both of those.

It was funny
all the way through.

You didn't even need a trick.

And you also, uh,

you also proved something
that, uh--

that we like to say
all the time,

which it really is
the singer, not the song.

Uh, you did just--
- Thank you.

- Just a beautiful job,
and just tight and crisp

and funny and brilliant
and wonderful,

and now it's time

to ID this

with the UMD.

- [laughs]

- It's a variation of an ID.

It's a UMD.

- Fair enough.
- Was that--was that code?

- I think they're on
to the sorcery.

- Oh.
- Yes.

- Oh, right.

Well, thank you so much.
- Thank you very much.

Thank you guys.
- Matt Marcy!

- So good.

[cheers and applause]

- What do you say
we all take a quick break

at the same time

and meet back here
in two minutes?

Ready... go.

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

[jazz music]

[cheers and applause]

- Welcome back to "Fool Us,"

where magicians take on
Penn and Teller

mano a mano,

or, in this case,
duo a duo.

Let's meet our next act.

- The difference between magic
and mentalism

is that magicians
use sleight of hand...


- Whereas mentalists
use sleight of mind.


- Sleight of mind is taking

the way
that we perceive things


and putting them on edge

and leaving you
with no explanation


for how it is that we just
read your thoughts.


It's almost like
we have a superpower.


- Being on "Fool Us" validates
that we're good enough


to have Penn and Teller
watch our show.

- You know how much
I love Penn and Teller.

- I know you do.

- But I'm gonna break you guys,

and I'm gonna turn
your brains inside out.

I'm gonna use
my mental prowess--

- That's not
how you make friends.

- I'm not here to make friends.

Penn and Teller,
we're here to fool you.

[dramatic musical cue]

[cheers and applause]

- Please welcome
The Sentimentalists.

- Wow.

Hi, everybody.

- My name is Mysterion
the mind reader.

- And I'm Steffi Kay.

- And together, we are...

[together]
The Sentimentalists.

- Two minds...
- Working as one.

- And today, we're gonna get
into your minds.

- During the break, we gave
everyone pens and paper.

- And we asked everyone
to draw an image of anything,

and you've all done that, yes?

all: Yes!
- Excellent.

Our good friend Dan
has been collecting those

in a box,
and Steffi...

- Thank you.
- Some paper and a marker.

Thank you, Dan.
I'm gonna give these a shake.

I have no clue
what any of you drew.

Or do I?

All right.
As you can see right here,

we have what is known
as a money machine.

This is gonna really randomize

these images.

[jazz music]

We have no clue which one

I'm gonna catch,
but to make sure

that Steffi does not peek,

she is gonna put on
nature's blindfold.

One, two, three.

Her eyes are closed.
All right.

I know you don't trust me,

so I'll put on
my own blindfold, folks.

And we're going to hit it!

♪ ♪

These are gonna
randomly mix.

I have no idea
what any of these things are.

Grabbing a whole bunch of them
in my hand, folks.

In a moment's time,

cut it!

♪ ♪

Okay.

I think...

♪ ♪

- May I open my eyes?
- You may.

♪ ♪

One of you

drew this image.

I don't even know what it is.

Could you imagine

that here, today,

that that thought

was shaken in a box,

generated randomly
in that machine,

and caught by chance,

transferred through
my fingertips

and into my mind,

and sent

into my lovely partner's brain?

Before we show anybody
what it is,

we're gonna take that back,

and I'm gonna open this up
and show everybody

the image of a beautiful flower.

Whose image is this?

Who did this?

Is that yours?
Stand up, please.

Give her a big round
of applause, everyone.

[cheers and applause]

Great.
Folks,

if you drew a flower,

if that information
was transferred

from one mind into another,

that is a miracle.

One, two, three.

A flower, ladies and gentlemen.

A random choice

on an--a possibility
of infinity.

- The Sentimentalists!

[cheers and applause]

Wow.

That's fantastic.

How did you guys
come up with this idea?

- Well, we both love
authentic acts from the past,

and we love vintage magic,

and I especially love
the 1930s,

so we really wanted
to emulate something

as close and authentic

to that era as possible.

- And is it just your style,

or is it your lifestyle
as well?

- All the time, 24/7.
- Oh, nice.

- This is lifestyle.
This is how we look 24/7.

I, uh, go grocery shopping

in vintage 1930s suits.

- Wow.

Well, I love that you're both

equal partners in this act.

- Thank you.
- Absolutely.

I think it's important.

I think that
in this day and age,

that women should have
more of a feature in magic,

and, uh, we've been seeing
a lot of that lately

in our travels, of course.

Here, do me a favor, would you?

Write down the name
of a celebrity,

any celebrity on the planet,
living or dead.

Old or young.
Singer, actor, performer.

- Okay.
- It could be someone historic

or fictitious, and of course,

I won't look.
- She will not look.

- Okay.

- Um...
- Try the celebrity.

- Yes.

Hunk, a hunk of burning love..
- [gasps]

- Elvis Presley.
- Yes!

- That's exactly
what was written

on the piece of paper, folks.

- I did that for my husband

and Vegas.

Wow.

That's amazing.

So we probably don't even

have to check in with those guys.

- No.
- You just know.

All right, time to see
if they got it.

Penn, Teller?

- Okay.

Well, I'm not gonna spend
much time complimenting you,

'cause we got
too much work to do,

but it was, uh, good.
It was really good.

I like the whole attitude.

I like the fact
that you've taken something

that, uh, is not visual
at all,

which is mentalism,

and made it visual.

You've got this Vegas

make-it-rain box.

Problem with this kind of thing

is there's so many ways

we would think to do this,

so there's a few things
we want to look at.

Uh, you allow us
to walk up there?

- You are more than welcome to.
- Okay.

We're gonna come up
near you,

and, uh, there's two things
we want to do.

First of all is, uh,

boy, these things
that the people drew

in the audience--
they're, um--

they're, um...

Table, uh...

Apple, uh, walrus,

Um... Oh!
- A snake.

- Can't talk about that one.

[laughter]

That's a light.

Now, they make cameras

wicked small now.

Uh, but they don't make cameras
that are invisible.

- A lot of investigating
going on.

- A lot of investigating.

And, uh, there's
this little thing

that someone can use

after they've already got
information.

Beautiful nails.
So...

If we had gotten one guess,

we'd have probably gone
with camera.

We would've lost there.

If we had two guesses,

we would've gone
with the billets being Xeroxed

and all being the same.

We would've lost there.

If we had three guesses,

We would've gone
with an earpiece.

We would've lost there.

- How many guesses
do you guys get?

- I feel like they need
a final answer.

- We get one guess.

- Oh...

- So we think it's
very possible

that you've fooled us.

- Ah!
- Yay!

We have a fooler!

- [laughs]

- How'd you do it?

- That's awesome.

- Nicely done.
- Congratulations.

- Nicely done.

And there you go,
right, Teller?

- Aww, The Sentimentalists!

Congratulations.

Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

Penn and Teller
have been busted,

and we aren't even finished
with them yet.

Will they get fooled again?

Find out after this.

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

[jazz music]

- Welcome back to "Fool Us."

Tonight's already
had one fooler,

and we might just have another.

Take a look.

- Ideas are like
sources of light.


Ideas never die.

Looking back into the past

is really inspirational to me.

It was about these geniuses

who were using the technology

available to them
at that moment


to create incredible magic,

but then, like, to see

what I can learn
from that past era,

and using modern technology,

create something new today.

I'm inspired by magicians

performing in their own space.

The theater itself becomes
part of the trick.


So I realized the kinds
of tricks I needed to do


and needed a space
to do them in.


The Magic Patio's the show

I've been running in my backyard

for the past four years.

You enter into my bedroom,

which I've built to transform
into a box office.


This the world's first
underground magic "speakeasy."

I'm a creator,
I'm a designer,


I'm a builder
and a performer,


so all of those things together

is what makes me a magician.

[cheers and applause]

- Please welcome
the innovative illusions

of Andrew Evans.

[cheers and applause]

- Hi, everyone.

Penn and Teller, thank you
for having me on the show.

So a lot of people
might call me an illusionist

instead of a magician,
because the things

that I like
to build and perform

are typically a little larger
than, you know,

say, a deck of cards,

but I mean, honestly,

an illusionist would probably
roll out

onto a big Las Vegas stage

with some sort of hip,
bumping soundtrack

coming through the speakers.
I mean,

I'm a designer.

I studied engineering.
[laughs]

That is not how we roll.

[hip-hop music over speakers]

So tonight, I'd like
to present

a simple demonstration
of physics.

Now, this idea came to me

while I was in the workshop

and I was trying to reach
a tool

that was on the top shelf.

Oh, hey now.

My mom said that being 5'5"

is nothing to be ashamed of.

Just saying.

Anyways,

the ladder was just
a little precarious,

and I realized
there was a much safer way

to get that tool.

♪ ♪

That's right.
Ask a friend for help.

♪ ♪

This is Naomi,
ladies and gentlemen.

She is the tallest person
I know.

- Okay.

♪ ♪

- There it is.
[drill whirrs]

All right, now back
to the physics.

Uh, we're gonna start
by building a bridge of sorts.

You can really only
screw this up at the beginning,

so it's important
for step one,

there's an exact
three-inch overhang

on either side.

- [clears throat]
- Huh?

♪ ♪

Five.

Uh...

That's okay.
Here, hold on.

Let's see.

♪ ♪

Eh, close enough.

All right.

Step two, we gotta add
some infrastructure.

♪ ♪

[drill whirrs]

♪ ♪

All right.
We've got the foundation,

we've got the infrastructure.

We need supports.

♪ ♪

Man, I gotta get me
one of those.

All right, now,
what you're about to see

might look impossible,
but honestly,

it's nothing more than
subtle scientific principles

and innate human abilities.

We'll explain along the way,
so you don't get lost.

- So first, we're gonna start
with what appears to be

a precarious balance.

It looks really difficult,

but it's not actually
that hard.

- Ah, she's being modest,

but it does start
to get more interesting

if you remove
one of the poles.

♪ ♪

[applause]

Oh, hold on.
Even more so

if we adjust the angle,

just like this.

♪ ♪

[applause]

- Now, hold on, though,

'cause it might look
like magic,

but honestly, Naomi's
just using her triceps and core

in order to hold that pose.

- Basically, I work out.

- Yeah, but no strength
lets you hold that

for more than, like,
ten seconds.

- And you've used up 7.2, so...
- Oh, right.

So this where the science
comes back in,

because she's able
to shift her center of mass

by moving her arm

- And, as Newton's
First Law of--states,

a body at rest
will stay at rest.

- Precisely.

♪ ♪

Now, I want to point out

everything you've seen here
so far

can be achieved
with Newtonian physics.

- And peak athleticism.

- Yeah, but this next
little bit, um,

we've been running the numbers,

and I think it might
be quantum string theory,

maybe transcendental
meditation, but...

frankly, we don't know,
ourselves.

Penn and Teller, maybe you
can help us out.

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

- Andrew Evans!

And Naomi!

- Thank you.

- This is a really,
really creative way

to use your engineering
for magic.

- Yeah, absolutely.
- Yeah.

- It all kind of goes
hand in hand.

Uh, I've always loved
kind of try

to bring those things together,

and yeah, this is one way
we did it tonight.

- And--and you built the
whole..

- Yeah, absolutely, um...

That's half the fun for me,

is designing and building
these things.

- That's awesome.
- Yeah.

- So do you do magic
full-time?

- I don't, no.
So I worked

at a design firm as well,

and I teach design
at Stanford.

-That's fantastic.

All right, well,
let's check in

with the boys, shall we?
- Yeah.

- Penn, Teller?

- You know, it's, uh,

it's the hardest thing
on "Fool Us,"

is to do big tricks,

and this is a big trick

that's just beautiful,
and the audience just loved it.

What's wonderful about this

is what you brought new to it,

what you made unique
about it,

I mean, you've gone back

to the original
ethereal suspension,

which, you know,

then became
this cheesy,

bad version,

broom suspension.
- Yeah.

- Which everybody does
and everybody hates,

and doesn't have
the phases in this

that have all the provers
in there.

We also liked
really nice touches

of you just drilling
the holes for the poles

right in front of us,

and we loved the way you--

you handle all the power tools,

and someday,
we'll have to get you in here

to actually work on our stage,

and build something for...

You're very good
at building all this stuff,

and there's something else
I'm gonna say,

because there's a thing
that sleight of hand guys

always do,

which is hiding--

hiding something
under a natural action.

What you did here

was sleight of board.
- Mm.

- And you hid stuff

under natural actions.

It was really nice.

We really loved it,
and we think

we've got it figured out,

and maybe we said enough

that gives you the idea
that we do know.

- I think they got it.
- Oh,

well, thank you so much.

That was amazing.
- Yes, thank you.

- Andrew Evans,
ladies and gentlemen.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

If you stick around,

you'll see more
amazing magicians,

plus, Penn and Teller
take the stage.

Stay close.

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

[jazz music]

- Welcome back to "Fool Us,"

where we showcase magicians

from all over the world,

like this next
astonishing Australian.

Take a look.

- The American view
of Australia


is, you know,
Crocodile Dundee,


dangerous animals,

shrimp on the barbie,

kangaroos,

and, of course,

beer.

I'm Dom Chambers.

I do beer magic.

I think there's something
really cool


about making big magic
out of small things,


like a marker

or a mobile phone.

A beer magician is,
quite simply,


someone who uses beer
in their magic.


I think it's something that
a lot of people can relate t,


particularly in, you know,
rowdy environments.

If I fool Penn and Teller,

it will change my life.

Hopefully, I'm gonna
show them something


that they've
never seen before.


[cheers and applause]

- Please welcome Dom Chambers.

- If you want to see

the amazing appearing
bottle of wine,

say "yeah"!

all: Yeah!

- One empty

paper bag.

[percussive music]

One empty magic gesture.

[laughter]

♪ ♪

Now, inside the bag,

a bottle of wine.

♪ ♪

Yep.

It's there.

[laughs]

It's, like,

no one's actually
buying that, are they?

Yeah, f-fair enough.
That's ridic--

I'm Australian.

We drink beer.

[cheers and applause]

All right.

[building rock music]

♪ ♪

Now, they say a good magician

would never repeat
the same trick twice.

Well,

guess I'm not
a very good magician.

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

All right.

♪ ♪

Now, I know I promised wine,

so coming up, a bottle.

♪ ♪

Tiny bottle.

Please.
Bang!

Wine!

[cheers and applause]

Check this out.

Nothing in the sleeves,

nothing in the...

shoe.

Absolutely nothing to hide.

♪ ♪

Except for that one.

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

Oh.

♪ ♪

And that one.
That's five!

Yes!

Here we go.

No jackets,

no sleeves,

no...

Shoe.
What the--

[laughter]

♪ ♪

One more?

all: Yeah!

♪ ♪

Yes!

[cheers and applause]

- Don Chambers!

Oh, man.

- Hello.
- Hello.

So it's true.
Australians'll drink anything.

- Absolutely.
Would you like one?

- No, no thank you.
- Are you su--

Are you sure?
- No, I'm pretty damn sure.

Thank you.
- Fair enough.

- Um, and is this

Australian magic,

because it involves alcohol?

- [laughs]
Is the beer--

uh, yeah, this was a new--

it's actually a very new piece.

Um, but, you know, I love

classic stage magic,

where people
would produce doves,

and I thought,
wouldn't that be awesome,

if, instead
of producing doves

or--or rabbits,

the magician was just
producing endless beers?

So that's...
- Yes.

This is
a fantastic party trick.

[laughs]

All right, well, let's see
if you fooled Penn and Teller.

Penn, Teller?

- Oh, Dom.
You know, it's so good

to see someone do a routine

that makes sense
all the way through.

Not just "these are tricks
I know how to do,"

but just a whole, you know,

obviously, the Australian theme
of... drinking beer.

But, um,

but it all--
going through, I also love,

you know, when you say

you're gonna do something,
to do it.

You say you're gonna
produce a bottle.

Even though you don't
do it right then, you do it.

And I think you'll recognize
this name.

Maybe others won't.

We've done the Pat Page

moment in your, uh--

in your thing.
The glass from the sleeve.

That's originally Pat Page,
an English magician,

and we've done
a version of that,

but one thing that makes
this act so deceptive

is the fact that you do
the same trick

in different ways.

You know, and that's
a really important thing.

Do the same effect,
but different methods.

And we also love the fact

that you've got this casual,
uh, outfit

that looks really natural

and really modern
and really good,

and, uh, you use it

just like a dove magician

would use a--a set of tails.

It's really wonderful,
and, you know, in dancing,

they sometimes use,
as an insult,

that the dancer has, uh,
two left feet,

and we can say,
as a real compliment,

you had two right feet.

You were just terrific
all the way through,

but don't think you fooled us.

[laughter]

- Does that mean
what I think it means?

- They're all over it.
They very--they bagged it.

Exactly.

Thank you so--this has been
the best opportunity,

so thank you so much.

- So good, man.
So good.

- Thank you.
Dom Chambers!

- Thank you so much.

Thank you.
- Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

- After the break,
Penn, Teller,

and a very special
fire-breathing friend,

Piff the Magic Dragon,

You don't want to miss it.

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

[jazz music]

- There are other shows on TV

that feature regular,
run-of-the-mill,

ordinary dragons,

but only one features
a magic dragon.

Please welcome back
a "Fool Us" favorite,

Piff the Magic Dragon.

[cheers and applause]

- Good evening.

Good evening.

This time, I have finally
got a trick

that is absolutely, 100%,
gonna fool Penn and Teller.

However, first, and this
is a little bit awkward,

uh, my dad's in town,
and, uh,

he wanted to come out
and say hi.

Apparently,
it's always been his dream

to be onstage in Las Vegas,

and my showroom
at the Flamingo is

"fun-size,"

so, uh,

he's gonna come out tonight,
say hi,

and then I'll do my tricks,
so please welcome,

ladies and gentlemen,
to the stage,

Pop the Magic Dragon.

[upbeat music]

- Pop the Magic Dragon!
I'm Pop!

Hello, Vegas!

[singing]

Hello, Vegas!

How you doing?
It's Piff the Magic Dragon!

I love you!
I love my son.

It's Piff!
Piff! Piff! Piff!

[all chanting] Piff!

Isn't he great?
Isn't he the best?

- All right, all right.
- Piff the Magic Dragon!

- Sit down.
Sit down.

- Hello, Vegas!
- Okay.

- I'm in Vegas.
- You're in Vegas.

Welcome to Vegas.

All right.
Come on, you said hi.

- I have. Hi!
- Now it's time to say goodbye,

and then I'm going
to fool Penn and Teller.

- But first--
- What do you mean, first?

- I want to give you
your inheritance.

- What inheritance?
- Right there.

There's your inheritance.
- Oh, that box?

- Yes, I put that box up there

when you were born


but first--
- What do you mean, first?

- We're all gonna sing
the dragon song.

- Oh, God,
I knew there'd be a catch.

- And the best thing
about it is,

they all know the dragon song.

You all know
the dragon song, don't you?

They all know the dragon song.

- This is a bunch of yes men.
They don't know

the dragon song.
- They'll know the dragon song.

- Nobody knows
the dragon song.

- They all know
the dragon song.

- They don't know
the dragon song.

- They do.
- What's it called?

- The dragon song.
- Really? Really?

The dragon song's called
"the dragon song"?

- Yes, it is.

Let's do it.
Come on over here.

- Fine.
- First of all, I have

our instruments
that are almost matching.

That's your [laughing] guitar.
That's the size of your guitar?

[laughter]

- It's fun-size.

- And then we got my guitar
right here.

We'll all do...
the dragon song.

- All right.

- ♪ In exile for [mumbling] years ♪

♪ It's the dragon song-- ♪

- Sorry, how many years?

- Well, everybody knows
how many years.

- Just sounds like you said
"flumpy-flump years."

- Well, everybody knows
how many years

the dragons were in exile.
- How many years?

- We roamed the earth in exile.

- So how many years
were the dragons in exile?

- How many years
were we in exile?

- 300 years!

- 300?
- 300 years.

- 300 years?

- 300 years.
- 300 years?

So you're telling me
I was born.



for no apparent reason,
all the dragons go into exile?

- They're in ex--
well, that's dragon years.

- Oh, dragon years?

All right, it does make sense.
- See, you knew that,

didn't you?

- All right,
I'll give you that.

- ♪ In exile for 300 years ♪

♪ It's the dragon song ♪

♪ Son, it's the dragon song ♪

♪ Cried 300 dragon tears ♪

♪ It's the dragon song ♪

♪ Son, it's the dragon song ♪

♪ Left our homeland in... ♪

Where are we from?
- What?

- Where are the dragons from?
- London.

- No, no,
not where you're from.

Our homeland.
Our ancestral--

- What, where are
all dragons from?

I have no idea.
- Where are the dragons from,

originally?
Where's our ancestral land?

- From... Canada.

[both:] Canada!
- Really?

Dragons are from Canada?

Does this sound like
a natural Canadian twang

to you?
Does it?

The dragons are from--
- Where in Canada?

- Where in Canada?

- The capital, Ottawa.

[both:] Ottawa.
- Yeah.

- Ottawa?
- Yeah.

- ♪ Left our home in Ottawa ♪

♪ It's the dragon song ♪

♪ Son, it's the dragon song ♪

♪ We said we gotta
get out o', wa ♪

♪ It's the dragon song ♪

- Sorry, what?

We gotta get out of wa?

- Ottawa.
- Ottawa,

and you rhymed "out of wa"

with Ottawa?

It really just sounds like
you're making

this song up on the spot.

- I'm--I'm not making this song
up on the spot.

They are.
- They are. All right.

- ♪ Lost our jobs as... ♪

- ♪ Magic dragons ♪

- No, we're not--

we're magic dragons now.

- Yeah, right.
- What were we originally?

- Originally?
- The original job we had.

- I have no--well, when we
were in Ottawa?

- Yeah.
- I have no idea.

- In Ottawa,
what job did we have?

- Flames.
You work on flames--fire.

- We work with fire?

What--that's not even a job.

How do you work with fire?

Do you mean we're arsonists?

Is that what you're going for?

Just accusing
the whole dragon species

of being nothing but criminals?

Apparently, we're arsonists.

- Arsonists?
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Arsonists it is.

- ♪ Lost our job
as arsonists ♪

♪ Yeah, the dragon song ♪

♪ It's the dragon song ♪

♪ He's my son
but he's a little pissed ♪

♪ It's the dragon song,
said it's the dragon song ♪

♪ Our skin is green,
but our tails are long ♪

♪ It's the happy,
happy dragon song ♪

- Okay, no, that's it.

I'm drawing a line
at that point.

You cannot have a happy,
happy dragon song.

- Happy, happy dragon song!

- We're miserable creatures!
Look at this face.

It's just misery.
Look at that.

- Look at this face.
It's just happy.

Look at this.

- Have you ever seen
the movie, "The Hobbit"?

That dragon got shot
in the face by a dwarf.

He's not happy.

- Fake news! Fake news!
- It's not--

[laughter]

- Everybody!

♪ Our skin is green,
but our tails are long ♪

♪ It's the happy, happy
dragon song ♪

- All right, lovely.
Thank you very much.

- Want your inheritance?
- Yes, I want my--

about five minutes ago,
actually,

but yeah.
- Squire!

[laughter]

Squire!

Runneth and fetcheth
my keys!

- Who is that?

- Teller.
- Right.

- Oh, here are the keys.

The keys are here.
- All right, the keys are here.

- The keys are here.
These are the keys

to your inheritance.
You're gonna be so excited

about this, Piff.
- Yeah, I can't wait.

- It's gonna be so great.
- Yeah, don't--

- Here are the keys.

The keys,

and now...

[harp scales]

The box is lowered

I gotta just figure out

which one of these keys fits.

- All right,
I just release the hook.

Wa-pf...

It's like Cirque du Soleil.

- Very much so.

- Is the--
- Is the--here's the key.

- It's not even locked.

- Oh.

- And where'd you get
a padlock

from the 1700s?

- I got that at Castle Depot.

- Really?
[trumpet blaring]

[cheers and applause]

- Did you notice that my--

my herald looks
remarkably like my squire?

- Almost indiscernible.

- What you got in there?

- I got a scroll.
- A scroll,

hung up there for 342 years.

- This is my inheritance?

- That's your inheritance.
- This is it?

- You're gonna
have your mind blown,

my son.

Your mind will be blown.

You ready?

- I'm ready.
- Here we go.

Undo that scroll.

♪ In exile for 300 years ♪

♪ It's the dragon song
son, it's the dragon song ♪

♪ Cried 300 dragon tears ♪

♪ It's the dragon song ♪

♪ Son, it's the dragon song ♪

♪ Left our home in Ottawa ♪

♪ It's the dragon song ♪

♪ Son, it's the dragon song ♪

♪ We said we gotta
get out awa ♪

♪ It's the dragon song ♪

♪ Son, it's the dragon song ♪

♪ Lost our job as arsonists ♪

♪ It's the dragon song ♪

♪ Son, it's the dragon song ♪

♪ He's my son, but he gets
pretty pissed ♪

♪ It's the dragon song,
son, it's the dra-- ♪

Everybody!

♪ Our skin is green,
but our tails are long ♪

♪ It's the happy,
happy dragon song ♪

♪ Our skin is green,
but our tails are long ♪

Rock it home!

♪ It's the happy,
happy dragon song ♪

- Ladies and gentlemen!
- Such a happy dragon song.

- Pop the Magic Dragon!

- And Piff the Magic Dragon!

Isn't he cute?
Isn't he cute?

- Don't--don't touch me.

- He's cute!
We got Piff the Magic Dragon!

- [laughs]

[cheers and applause]

- Isn't he cute?

Isn't he adorable?

- You never know
who's gonna show up

on "Fool Us."
- Isn't he adorable?

- We have more surprises
in store for you

when "Fool Us" returns.

See you soon. Good night!
- Piff! Piff! Piff!

[all chanting "Piff"]

- They love you!
- We do!