06x02 - No Shame, Good Integrity

[bunniefuu]

The situation's back, baby.

And to think I almost didn't
make it this summer.

Hello?
Hey!

Hello?

Pauly!

Hey.

Yo, am I
supposed to knock

When I come
into this house?

I'm really excited
to go down to the shore

And see all my roommates.

But then again, like,
how am I gonna have fun?

I just don't want to be
around drinking,

'Cause it really upsets me.

I quit, uh,
I quit the hard .

Cheers to that.
Congratulations.

Salud.
Congratulations.

Why don't we do something fun?

Wanna go to karma?

So what do you wanna do?

Dj pauly delvecchio!

I'm going to the jersey shore,
b*tch!

All right,
we got a situation.

I'm the sweetest b*tch
you'll ever meet.

After I have sex with a guy,
I will rip their heads off.

Go, vinny! Go, vinny!

You like the boobs?

♪ If you wanna have fun
and do something crazy ♪

Hey!
Hey!

Good.
How are you?

Good, good, good.
It's been a long time.

What's up, bro?

Sam, this is
my boyfriend, chris,

Nice to meet you.

I'm excited about introducing
chris to my roommates

Because he's like the best thing
that's ever happened to me.

Eskimo.

But I don't get to see
him that often

'Cause of his job
and everything. He works a lot.

So the one or two days
I get to see him

It's like... Meh.

Look, babe, I'm wearing blue,
all for you.

Ow!

In karma, it was our first
night back.

We always have
a great time

Breaking it down
on the dance floor.

But it's very weird
without snooki.

Nicole is taking it easy.

Doing what a pregnant
chick does.

Mmm, I love
mashed potatoes.

If this was me
eating out of your plate,

You would've stabbed me.
So?

What?
I hear house music.

All right, relax.

Do you wanna dance?
No!

Tonight everyone's
at karma, and I'm left out.

It really does suck,

But just to be with jionni
and just not think about it

And be in love...
This is good.

Do you wish you were
going to karma?

I'm having a baby.
Does that make me boring?

No.
I'm just responsible.

Nicole, you are asking
the wrong person.

Like, don't lie, don't
you think it's trashy

For... To see a pregnant
lady at a club?

It's like, go the f*ck home
and go to sleep.

They're gonna
get bombed tonight.

Make sure they don't
jump on you or anything

When you're sleeping.
It's going to piss me off.

I have to talk to danny.
About what?

Looking for a new house.
That's good.

What should I say?
"Danny...

"I'm pregnant...

"I don't get much rest
or privacy in my house.

Can you help me find one
to sleep in?"

And I'll be at work on time
every day.

I'll work every day
if he wants me to.

Tell him if he finds you
a house, you'll work every day.

Gonna talk
to him tomorrow.

♪ ♪

I'm having
a blast right now.

Mvp's back, full effect.

Back at karma
doing what we do.

She's like, you gotta
talk dirty to us,

And if I bring you
home later,

I'll beat you up
like rampage, yo.

Feels kind of good, man.
I kind of missed mvp myself.

I'm hungry.

All right, make fun
of me like...

Don't need your sh*t
'cause you don't listen to me.

You need to eat like
breakfast, lunch, dinner.

Stop yelling at me.
What?

Stop yelling at me.
I'm not. I'm talking to you.

Me and sam are arguing
right now because...

Sam doesn't like to eat
before she goes out.

And I always feel like you
should put fuel in the...

In the tank before you...

Start filling it up
with vodka.

Don't. Stop.

I'm having
a good time, are you?

Let's go have
a great time. Let's go.

All right.
Let's have fun.

Let's go have
a great time.

The f*ck?

Ron's upset
because I didn't eat anything

So he knows I'm just gonna
get bombed.

And he thinks that
I am not gonna have fun.

Ronnie's mad at me.
Why?

He's mad at me
'cause I didn't eat,

And because
I'm miserable,

But I don't think
I'm miserable tonight.

He's drunk.

Ron should just not drink
if he wants to stay with sam.

Because the moment
ron gets blacked out,

He thinks
that his relationship

Is the worst relationship
in the world.

What the f*ck is your problem?
You!

What did I do to you?
Nothing!

Ron is wasted
beyond wasted.

And he gets abducted.
He definitely gets abducted.

He is the girl version
of nicole.

You wanna have
a good time or not? Like...

Yeah, I'm having
actually a great time.

If you don't want to have
a good time with me or not...

Then like leave me
the f*ck alone.

I don't need to be with you
if you don't talk to me.

I have a million girls

That can do
what you do.

I have no idea
why he would say that.

And, like, we've still
have a whole summer to go.

I said it all
f*cking week,

You're not yourself.
You're not you.

You've been blocking me off.
I'm not!

Gimme a f*cking break!

It is official.
Summer started,

Ronnie and sam
are going at it.

Official, like
a referee with a whistle.

Are you all right?

I'm talking to the kid
about furniture

And she starts crying.
Really?

I swear to god.

I really don't think
that a pregnant person

Should be in this house,
so I am considering

Getting my own place.

I don't need to be with you
if you don't talk to me.

I have a million girls

That can do
what you do.

Figure it
the f*ck out!

I'm getting sick
and f*cking tired

Of you treating me
like this.

Watch it!
You f*cking watch it!

What are you
gonna do?

What are you gonna do?

I was trying to remain calm.

Like, I don't need
to be yelling back,

I don't wanna yell back.
I don't wanna fight.

But, like, it's not okay
for you to talk to me

Like that whether you're
drunk or you're sober.

You are gonna be so much
happier without me.

The way you f*cking
treat me.

No, I ain't f*cking
happy.

Then go.
Get the f*ck away from me!

I don't want you.
Go!

You don't want me?
No! Go!

Ronnie's drunk ron.
He's like "ronning,"

Where you see his eyes
separate,

And then he thinks
sam's, like, the devil.

He thinks everyone's
against him,

Especially sam.
Like, this isn't the first time,

And it won't be the last.

♪ ♪

Being clean right now
and focused...

Um... I'm able
to see things,

And I'm looking at paulie,
I'm looking at vinny,

And I'm like, "ah, they're...

I don't know if they're
making good decisions."

You know what I'm saying?
"Do I have to save them?"

And then I was like, "maybe
I wasn't making good decisions."

But then we all know
I wasn't.

♪ ♪

Did you have fun?
Oh, yeah.

I love being with you.

Hug.

I love you.
I love you.

It's really hard
to say good-bye to jionni

'Cause, you know, everyone
is out at the club and...

I just feel really
alone.

And I wish that jionni
was here 24/7.

C'mon!

Like, all my aunts,
they spend like $5,000

On furniture,
and they're like,

"It's gonna last forever."

That sh*t
comes from italy.

At this point I'm drunk,

And I see vinny
talking to chris,

And I'm like, "what the freak
is he saying?

Is he like
being mean to him?"

Like, this
is the negative thoughts

That run through my head.

I feel like you're
being annoying.

Am I being annoying?
Not at all.

You're not gonna buy
furniture from him.

I'm not?
No.

The greatest thing
about chris is that he works

In a furniture store,
and I need furniture,

'Cause I just got a house,
so...

I'm seriously looking
to buy furniture.

Deena hates
that I'm asking about it.

And I really
don't know why.

Why are you crying?

Are you all right?

What did you do to her?
I didn't do anything!

I'm talking to the kid
about furniture

And she starts crying.
Really?

I swear to god.

I just feel like
he's doing it on purpose.

Like, to make fun of you
or something.

I didn't think that.
I don't like it.

I think, you know,
mike's interfered

With ronnie and sam's
relationship before.

The boys have gotten
on jionni before.

I'm freaking out.
I feel like you are making

Fun of him.
Dude...

I swear
on my mother's life.

I'm seriously having a...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, wow.

I have no idea why this chick
is crying right now.

But at the end of the day she-
it seems pretty serious.

I mean, she seems like the world
is ending right now.

Tell me if I was wrong.
He apologized,

He swore on his mother.
So I was wrong.

Dee, you are not wrong.
There's no right or wrong.

You're protecting me.
I love you for that.

Give me a hug.

I love you
for protecting me.

I'm just worried about the
roommates disrespecting chris

'Cause I've seen them
disrespect...

Other people's boyfriends.

So I see what happens,
and I'm just like

Ugh, I hope that doesn't
happen to me.

I'm having such
a hard time, chris.

You have no idea.

What are you having
a hard time with?

I don't think
I can do it.

Do what? What are you
having a hard time with?

I don't know
if I can do it.

I spoke to my girl,
and she said that your girl

Has, um, her period.
You know?

What do we do now?

What's up, girl?

I've been crying
for the last...

For the last
couple of days.

I'm having
an identity crisis.

I miss, like, my family.

I'm afraid
to gain weight.

So I have like so much
going on up there

That it's just like...

What the f*ck
is going on?

This is f*cking me up.

This is exactly what
I didn't want to happen.

I know.
And this is what you're doing

To me right now.
I'm sorry.

Don't apologize
to me, I'm... I...

I'm sorry
you feel this way.

Chris wants me
to be strong here

And doesn't want me
to cry.

I'm doing the one thing
he doesn't want me to do.

Cool. I suck.

Don't tell
your husband, okay?

All right.

♪ ♪

Right now, mvp
is in full effect.

And it seems that paulie's
got this cute chick

And she does have
a cute friend right now.

So I'm gonna have to be
a wingman to my boy paulie

And help him navigate
through these crazy forks.

What the f*ck
did you give him?

If we could just leave.

Ok, let's go.
We're leaving.

Really?

I'll walk you
guys back, baby.

And I'll see you monday.

Deena, let's go.

Deena is like
hysterically crying.

It's like she was-
the world was ending

And I couldn't
understand why

'Cause chris
is next to her.

I hate sleeping by myself.

Deena!

Stop it!
I know.

Chris, I miss you.

He lives five
minutes away,

And already she's crying
over him,

And the kid's there.
So he even came to the house,

Came into karma, took her on
a date... She's still crying.

Deena, look at how gorgeous
this kid is.

Look at me. Look at me.
He's so good

I wanna make out with him.
He's not going anywhere, okay?

I love him.

Deena, deena,
this is amazing.

What's up?
Let's go eat.

All right.
There we go.

This was my first night sober,
dude, f*ck' at a club.

You did good.
I did good, right?

First night,
nothing, nothing.

I think I have more
fun f*cking

Sober than not sober, dude.
Good, man.

I am right now
ironically having more fun

Than when I was using
or not...

Clean, so to speak.
You know what?

I'm gonna be honest,
before I got here,

I was thinking
to myself like...

I've never been sober
at a f*cking club.

Like how am I gonna do
this sh*t?

Know what I mean? Like...

And then when I got there,
like...

It was just fun, you know.
I'm really proud

Of my man, mike.
He stayed straight as an arrow.

He didn't do anything
wrong tonight

With all the temptation.

That shows me he got some
good willpower

And that he wants
to get better.

Vinny...
What?

No disrespect.

What color are those?
What? These jeans?

They're fuchsia?
They're red.

Fuchsia.
Fuchsia?

Yo, chris, you out?
Absolutely.

All right.

I don't know why
she cries so much.

She is "emotionale."

I love you.
I love you.

I love you, I love you,
I love you.

Call me when you
get back to the house.

Then we can talk, okay?
I will.

All right.
Love you.

It's hard to say
good-bye to chris

Because alls I wanna do
is cuddle with him,

But he can't, 'cause he has
to work in the morning.

I'm just used to being with him.
Listen...

You guys have
a positive thing, okay?

You're turning it
into a negative.

I know.
The fact that he is not here

And you're doing this,
you have to change it

Into a positive thing.

Okay? Look through it
from a different lens.

I'm just used to being
with him every day.

Well, you're
being a spoiled brat.

I am.
Okay, don't be a spoiled brat.

Time to smush, guys.

Let's go to the bed.

I should have a shower.
All right.

Wanna go upstairs?
Oh, this is the bathroom.

Do you wanna go get your girl?
I'll wait.

Okay.
I'm gonna go upstairs.

I'll come right back down.

You're welcome
wherever you want.

Help!

I took a blanket.
Whose blanket?

Ours. Whoops.

I don't think you
should take that. No.

Sh-shh. Shh. It's fine.
Shh.

Ron, you can't do that.
Here we go. Shhh.

Yo.
Yo, um...

Kind of got, um...
Something going down.

What's up?
Um...

I spoke to my girl
and she said that your girl

Has, um...
Her period.

She wants to... She says
she wants to get down,

But, she's like
I don't know if she wants

To get down-
I totally feel you.

She's a cute chick but...
You gotta be kidding me.

I don't get down like that.
I feel you.

Unless it's my girl, I don't
get down like that either.

What do we do now?
In the swag handbook,

Rule number 667
states that you cannot

Have sex with a girl
that's on her period,

Unless it's your girlfriend

And unless it's your girlfriend
for a minute.

What a damper.

So...

You guys have
a situation, so do we.

Um...

We got work.
And you guys have...

Well, you...
I have something...

And, um... We like y'all,
we wanna hang with y'all again

And not ruin it
the first time,

You know
what I'm saying?

Can we like, uh, like,
reschedule this piece?

Yeah.

Y'all gonna hate us
or what?

I'm not a hater.
That's what I'm saying.

Me neither.
I never hate.

I wanna call you tomorrow.

If you act
like you don't know me,

I'm gonna come
to staten island.

So let's do
like a chill night.

Yeah.
You know what I mean?

We'll be able to seal the...
I mean, chill.

That better be
the right number, too.

Yeah, 'cause that phone
isn't turned on.

I'm gonna call right now.

Call us once you get
the situation fixed,

You know
what I'm saying?

I'm joking with y'all.
You guys are awesome.

Yo, good night, girls.
Good night.

Be safe driving home.
Thank you.

That was a good exit.
That was a good exit.

You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, we'll do it again.

Thanks for covering my back.
That was a good exit.

I saw you
crying last night.

He's like a part of me.
So i...

He's not a part of you.
You are separate people.

I know.

That's an unhealthy
relationship.

Me and jionni
should be friends.

Okay.
What you guys have in common?

We're eskimo brothers, bro.
You are such a perv.

As I'm waking up right now,

I'm actually
feeling pretty good.

I don't wanna drink
like that again.

My head hurts.

The one thing
that I don't miss

Is laying in bed
and being, like,

"Oh, god, I'm hung-over,
like a m*therf*cker."

And I don't
wanna get up, you know?

Now I wake up
and I'm just excellent.

I think I'm gonna
skip the gym today.

Okay.

Sunday will be my skip day.

I feel like someone
punched me in my eyes.

It's all right.
I was crying.

Oh, I know you were.

Yeah, I think,
like, I fell on vinny

A couple of times.

Do you even know
why you were crying?

Yeah. 'Cause I didn't
want to leave him.

Were you crying? Why?

'Cause I didn't
wanna leave him.

How was the club, though?

It was fun.
It was perfect.

I heard the music.

I was trying
to look for you.

I was, like dancing
in the booth and, like...

'Cause I wanted
jionni to meet chris.

I think next time I see him
I'll be better.

But you cried when he left?
Yeah.

No, she cried
up until he left and after.

Well, it's probably
'cause we were drunk too.

It doesn't help.
It makes it worse.

Like, I get it,
deena really does miss chris,

But I'm pregnant,
my hormones are going crazy,

I'm not with my fiance,

And I'm not crying.

It's kind of crazy pants.

But I do... Even though I cried,
I feel better that I saw him.

I'm all congested.

I feel great.
Yeah.

You only slept
like 17 hours.

I went to bed at, like, 1:30.

And you guys came home

And then I couldn't sleep
for, like, another two hours.

No.

What are you doing?

Oh, gross.

Deena?
Coming.

Throwing up?

You have to stop.

Did you
hear him this morning?

Yeah,
I was, like, ew.

You should go to e.j.'S
and get a beer.

That's what I would do.

You wanna go eat?
Where's everyone?

I want to apologize
if I was mean last night.

You were?
What happened?

I blacked out.
You were very mean to me.

Oh.

Probably you did something
that probably pissed me off

And you think you didn't.

I don't even think ron
knows what he did last night

To get
to where he is right now.

I hate being that drunk.

I'm f*cking
miserable right now.

What do you wanna do?
Let's eat.

Babe, you ready?

Where
are you guys gonna eat?

We're gonna go
to beach bark.

Yesterday
was not my day.

I can tell you
that much, bro.

Ron was bombed.

I don't remember going to
steaks, bro. How about that?

I don't remember
going to steaks,

I don't remember walking home.
I don't remember getting home.

I hate getting like that.

I grabbed you at one point
outside... You almost fell.

Yeah?
Yeah.

I cut my leg.
I must have fell somewhere.

Achilles hurt. Was I
dancing at all last night?

Um, I did see a little.
You and vinny were.

Were we? Did we?
In circles.

I wish
I remembered that.

It's kinda messed up

That mike's the sober one

Filling in my holes
on what happened.

I'm just, like,
I wish I was there,

Because it kinda
sounds like a good time.

I can't believe, like, food
makes me feel so much better.

I used to, you know, need
something else, you know?

Well, it's good
you snapped out of it.

Yeah.
It's real good.

I think a lot of people
commend you for that.

I wouldn't wish it
on my worst enemy.

It's horrible.

It's harder to go out there,
too, when you snap back.

You don't know
how to fix yourself back

'Cause you forgot
how you were before.

And, little by little,
it comes back.

It's like a little kid

Finding
how to walk again almost.

He's back to, like...

He's better than he was
the first time I met him.

Yeah, that's what he said.

Like, I like him more now
than when I first met him.

Yeah.

You know, I like
the way mike is right now.

It's good to see him clean,

It's good to see him
doing the right thing.

But this house can really
f*ck you up in so many ways

And mike needs to be strong

Because mike's
definitely gonna have

A long road ahead of him.

It's almost like
every day you look at the sky

And it'll be blue and you're,
like, "holy sh*t, it's blue."

Like, you never
noticed it before.

Like, you just fly by life

And you don't care
about nothing.

It's living
in your own mind state.

All you care about
is how you feel right here.

I think mike being sober
is an amazing thing.

He's walking into this house

With a new, positive
outlook on things.

Like, and I couldn't
be more proud.

This guy's ripped
for a f*cking old man.

I wanna look like him
when I get older.

sh*t.
f*cking guy was ripped.

Holy sh*t.

♪ There's a party,
and everyone's invited ♪

♪ Whoa oh,
call everyone you know ♪

♪ Everyone's invited ♪

Where is everyone?

What are you doing?

Cleaning my shoes.

I can't believe
you started crying last night.

What, in the club?

Yeah.
I know.

That was the most
unexpected cry ever.

I apologize.

You know why
I think I got like that?

He's, like,
my best friend,

He's, like... Like,
a part of me, so like...

I just look out for him
and I'm afraid, like...

But he's not
a part of you, though.

I know.

You're both
two separate people.

I know, but
I just look out for him.

That's an unhealthy
relationship.

There's different types
of unhealthy relationships.

There's one type
that's, like,

People
who fight each other,

And there's another type

Where you become
just addicted

And you can't go on
without the other person.

I just think too much.

I think that's what it is.

I get, like, anxious
and that's when, like...

I get, like, panicky.

Then I'm like,
should I go on, like...

Medicine?
Anxiety medicine?

I think I have
a chemical imbalance.

Can you stop saying

You think you have
this and that?

I know.

Like, it sucks, like...

I saw him
and I was happy and I cried.

Like, that sucks.

Deena hasn't been away
from this kid for like a day.

And it's healthy
to express your feelings,

But you have
to think positive.

It's just a boyfriend,
you know what I mean?

You like him?

Deena, shut up!

I like talking about him.

Jesus christ.

It's starting to drizzle.

Oh.

What did you guys do today?

Yo, I got pedicured toes.

Vinny likes to put
my feet in his mouth

So he made me
get a pedicure.

Oh, that's kinda visual.

The weather's kinda shitty,

So I'm not sure
what we're gonna do tonight

Because there's really
not much to do

When it's shitty out.

Did you choose a day when
you're gonna get married?

No.
Did you do any plans

For the wedding yet?

No.

You know what? Me
and jionni should be friends.

Well, if you keep
joking around like you are...

Like I'm what, the father?

Yeah, it's really
not funny anymore.

How pissed would you be
if some girl was like...

I don't do it to him.

No, I know,
but it's kinda disrespectful.

Me and jionni should be-
I don't think so.

Friends.

What do you guys
have in common?

We're eskimo brothers, bro.

What a d*ck.

Eskimo brothers is when you
hook up with the same chick.

You're, like,
brothers by association.

A lot of us in this house
are eskimo brothers.

We all are.

You're such a perv.

Do you go
to lamaze classes?

I'm gonna go.

Can I go?
No.

sh*t.
I wanna go.

Ronnie's going
ron's coming with me.

Oh, come on.

The joke's over.
I'm not the father, okay?

Me and snooki had sex

For, like,
half a second by the way.

You did?

Right?

You know, vinny's
definitely pushing

Nicole's buttons right now.

And if vinny keeps this up,

He's gonna get
public enemy number one

And he's gonna be
out of the wedding.

Can we just go to bed now?

I honestly wanted
to get a knife last night

And just cut vinny's throat.

Think I'm gonna be celibate.

I have made a decision

To try to remain
celibate this summer.

That's stupid.

Girls, it's 10:00!

So, this morning I'm working
with paulie and deena,

And I feel like we're
gonna k*ll it together.

We're, like,
so gonna be late,

It's, like,
not even funny.

I look like
a piece of sausage

Next to these two meatballs.

Long and thin in the middle.

We'll look like a big d*ck.

Good morning.
What's up, guys?

Cutting it close.
Two minutes to spare.

I wanna make up
for all the sh*t

That I gave danny,

You know,
these past summers.

Hope this fits me.

I really think
I'm gonna be, like,

A really good
employee this summer.

Can we get breakfast?

Come on, guys.
It's your first shift.

Squirt!

Try to be a little
more responsible.

You're gonna be a mother.

Thanks for showing up, guys.

Danny? Can I talk to you?
Yes?

This is usually the conversation
I have with you.

What did I do?
No, you're not in trouble.

I'm not in trouble?
No.

Where do you wanna talk?

So, I kinda need advice

Because I'm, like, confused
and a little concerned

About just
living in the house,

Like, with getting rest

And just having,
like, alone time to...

Be pregnant.
I understand your concern

'Cause I know they come home
at 4:00 in the morning and...

Yeah.
They're up till 6:00.

Yeah, I mean, I still
wanna be with my roommates

And hang out.

I'm just trying
to get away from the house.

I wanna be healthy,

So I hope
danny can help me out.

Do you have,
like, another place?

I have a couple
of other places

Where everyone
that works for me lives

In all these
different house and stuff,

But it's summertime

So everything's
pretty much filled up.

I just need
a bed and a shower.

I have the apartment
right next door to you.

What I could do
is maybe move you in.

It's not what I wanna do,

But I knew something...

You know, it's not
the right environment.

It's different.
It's definitely different.

It's a party house.
Mm-hmm.

You know, and you're not
ready to party anymore.

You're ready
to become a mommy.

Yeah.
Take care of a puking baby.

And party once a week.

Yeah... You're... What?

It makes me feel really
great that, you know,

Danny does understand
and he's there for me.

You know,
it just means that he cares.

Thank you.
No problem.

I love you, nicole.
I love you too.

Can I go on break now?

No!

Frickin' make a sale.

How are you doing, boo?

I'm literally about
to eat my fake cigarette.

I feel like I'm
in the medieval times.

I like it.

It's very hip.

How awkward
was vinny last night?

I'm, like,
can you shut the f*ck up?

I love them to death,
they're my brothers, but, like...

Sometimes
they cross the line, like,

Everybody needs
to give jionni a break.

It's, like,
leave the f*cking kid alone

And let me be happy.

Like, I'm definitely
gonna tell jionni

Everything
that vinny is saying

Just because,
you know, I'm his fiancee

And I would wanna know
if some b*tch was talking

About me like that.

Just tell him
where it's at.

You said your jokes,
it was funny for a second,

Move on with it.

Now it's, like,
nicole's pregnant.

Like, enough's enough.

I honestly wanted
to get a knife last night

And just cut vinny's throat...
That's what I'm saying.

With a knife
and going to jail.

You can f*ck with me
all you want.

You f*ck with my man...

That's what I'm saying.

I will cut your
f*cking d*ck off.

I will lose my mind,
I think.

If they keep it up,

Us girls are gonna tell them,
cut it the f*ck out.

My water broke.

Oh, my god.
I'm gonna puke.

I wanna go
on the ride in the dark

Where it spins you
really fast.

Oh, I'll go
on that with you.

Or we can go shopping.

I'll go shop with you.

See you.
Have fun.

Oh, here it is.

I'm sweating ba*ls.

Look fat,
'cause you're pregnant.

No.

Here's, like, some shirts
back here you might like.

I don't know
what size I am.

Medium? Large?

Look at all these nice
skinny clothes.

Don't they have,
like, pregnant stuff,

Where's it's, like, bunchy
here so it looks tight here,

But then it has that room?

Wait till you get pregnant.

Maternity world
is not cute.

♪ I got my clothes ♪

It's definitely starting
to look like summer right now

'Cause we're walking
down the boardwalk,

And I see
nothing but bikinis,

Beach, sun, you know-
it's really shaping up

To be pretty cool out there.

Whoo!

Hey!

I wanna go
on the roller coaster.

I'm sitting it out.

Do they, like, do
self-help sh*t in rehab too?

Like, spiritual sh*t?

Yeah, you're supposed
to meditate

And sh*t like that.
I go through the same sh*t.

Like, I feel, like,
crowding my mind

With as much positive...
As I can to, like,

Not let in the bad habits,
you know?

It definitely is
very comforting right now

That somebody is in the house
that sort of understands

Or is trying to understand
what I had went through.

I'm so more in the moment
than I ever was.

That's how I try
to live my life, like,

In the moment, everywhere
I go, you know what I mean?

It feels good
to share a bond like this

With somebody in the house

Because, you know,
when I go through my anxiety,

It sucks, you know?

Because I don't have
anyone to go through it with.

Mike is on the same agenda
as me now.

We constantly
have to do the same things,

Keep the bad thoughts away.

It's funny how, like, we don't
appreciate what we have until...

Until it's almost
taken away from you.

Almost everything
was taken away from me,

Almost everything.

It definitely
is a breakthrough right now

That, you know, vinny would
sort of connect with me

Other than a level-
than gtl.

Yolo.
Yolo.

♪ Now I'm up in the money ♪

Yay!

♪ It's such a beautiful day ♪

♪ No matter where I'm going ♪

You love me.

You wanna walk into jimbo's
and get a drink real quick?

Sure.

It's 5:00 somewhere.

It may actually be 5:00.

Yeah, I was gonna say
it actually might be 5:00.

I'm having so much fun
with jenni right now.

We're drinking,

We're starting
to get a nice buzz.

And I'm, like, "oh...

She's, like, gonna be
my substitute meatball."

There it is.
It's all coming out now.

See?
That was no shame.

No shame.
Good integrity.

Wait. Integ-
what's integrity?

Integrity?

I don't know what that-
integrity.

I think
integrity means, like...

Integrity
means, like, shame.

Like, I got a lot of shame,
I have a lot of integrity.

Right?

Shame and integrity
are kinda the same things.

Because it's, like, if you
have... Say, "I have no shame,"

That means you have...

No integrity.

Or it means you have...

I don't know.
It gets very confusing.

Let's ask the bartender.

Do you know
what integrity is?

Yes.
What?

Like, self worth and values.

Like trying to hold up-
like shame!

Like, say I was
not wearing my underwears.

And then i, like,
pelvic-thrusted the window

With no underwears on

And I was,
like, "no shame!"

That would be
integrity or not integrity.

That would be
a lack of integrity.

Okay. See?

No shame.
You have no shame.

It'd be like good
overall well-being,

High morals, values...

People can just
go to school at a bar.

At- thank you.

It's like a class.

The girls should be done,
don't you think?

I don't know.

Unless they
started drinking.

If jenni starts
drinking with deena,

I'm gonna punch her.

She would never
do that with me.

She kinda doesn't
drink a lot, so even if she...

In cancun, she went wild.
I'm like...

Really?

"Where have you been
my whole life?"

Really?
Yeah.

And, like, you would
when I'm knocked up.

Oh! Happy hour.

Cheers to happy hour.

Buy one, get one.

♪ Fool me twice ♪

I'm drunk,
and you made me smile.

You making
a tomato salad?

Yes, captain obvious.

For somebody who promotes,
like, positive attitudes,

You're really a f*cking d*ck.

I'm...

I really don't think

That a pregnant person
should be in this house,

So I am considering
getting my own place.

What do you wanna
eat for dinner tonight?

I can grill
a nice piece of fish.

Set the table, vin?

Yeah, buddy.

Just like old times.
Yep.

Just like "old tahmes."

So for sunday dinner we have
a little feast going on.

f*ck.

Lettuce on my frenchies.

Me and mike
are doing the cooking

And paulie sets the table and
just yells out random sh*t.

That's his idea of cooking.

We're one fork short.

Somebody
gets a spoon instead.

Do you put the chicken
back in the thing

Or do you wash it?

You know,
when you put in on the grill,

Do you put it
back in the same pan?

No, no, no.
I put it on a separate dish.

Yeah, right?
You have to, right?

Vin's got the grill.
Oh.

I don't know-
I don't know what he's doing.

It's been four summers,

And these girls
are not gonna change.

You know, it's just-
you know, they're not cooks.

You making
a tomato salad?

Yes, captain obvious.

For somebody who promotes,
like, positive attitudes,

You're really a f*cking d*ck.

I'm joking around with you.

Whoa-h*.
Tell him, sam, tell him.

What the hell?

I also promote joking.

Okay.

Ew. God.

Let's eat!

Be careful.

The thing that this steak's
in is really hot.

All right?

Uh!

I told you!

Nobody grab
the damn dish.

Mike...

You all right?

First sunday dinner.

All: first sunday dinner.

Thanks, everybody
that participated.

Yeah, thank you.

It looks great.

What do you guys
wanna do tonight?

We're gonna
figure something out.

We could tell stories.

Ghost stories.

What was it like
when you first had sex?

I was in a car.

I was in a car too.

You were?
Backseat.

It was awesome.
Backseat. Cutlass.

Yeah, buddy.

I lost my virginity at 19.
In the backseat of a jeep?

No, it was my car.

Classy.

I'm gonna be celibate.

That's stupid.

Oh, is that what you want?
Yeah.

What the f*ck is that?
Why would someone do that?

I just wanna set a personal
challenge for myself.

Before coming to seaside,

I have made a decision

To try to remain
celibate this summer.

I wanna hang out with girls,
but not have p*ssy, p*ssy, p*ssy

Like the only thing
ruling my world.

Well, I'm gonna jerk off.

No, you can't.

Why?

You can't jerk off,

And you can't kiss a girl.

I can make out.

No!
You can't make out?

You can't make out.

You can make out.
You can't just have sex.

No. That's intimacy.
No oral.

You jerked off
this morning, though.

You jerked off this morning?
Yeah.

Ew!
In the shower?

So, I wanted
to talk to you guys.

What do you have to say?
I'm scared.

Like,
at this point,

What other big announcement
can you have for me?

I already know
you're pregnant.

Um, just 'cause I'm pregnant
and I do have concerns,

And coming into this house

I was really scared it was
gonna be, like, too messy,

When in reality
I was the messiest anyway.

You know, like, seriously,
like, I really don't think

That a pregnant person
should just be in this house

So I am considering, like,
getting just my own place.

You're what?

So I wanted
to talk to you guys.

Um, just 'cause I am pregnant
and I do have concerns,

I am considering, like,
getting just my own place.

So nicole drops a b*mb

On the roommates tonight,
at sunday dinner,

And announces the fact
that she is gonna move out.

I'm not prepared
for that sh*t.

I feel totally fine, like,
hanging out with you guys,

But I don't wanna tell you
guys to shut the f*ck up,

Or, you know, just say,
"oh, don't bring girls home

'Cause I think it's nasty
for me to be around."

You know what I mean?

Yeah, that's all right.

Like do you-
I already stopped, though.

Well, it's not like
I'm not gonna be here.

Like, I definitely
wanna hang out with you guys.

I want to move
out of the house

Because I don't
feel comfortable at all

Living in a party house while
I'm six months pregnant.

I feel, like, it's just
not healthy for a baby

So I just want my own place
where it's nice and clean

And, you know,
everything else

I'll be with the roommates for.

We'll still do
all our errands together.

Yeah, it's just
somewhere for me to get rest.

Like, last night.
We probably came home...

We were loud and stuff.

Yeah, I was up
for a good two hours.

You know?
So it's like...

I object.
No, I'm kidding.

But you understand?
I'm gonna be upset.

Like, I'm not being
an as*h*le about it.

Damn, I don't like this.

We'll see her every
wednesday and sunday, bro.

Stop being selfish.
No.

Think about lorenzo.

It's the right move.

Me and nicole have been
sleeping in the same room

Next to each other

For six bedrooms now.

And it's sad that she's
not gonna be there.

But it's not
nicole that has to leave,

It's lorenzo
that has to leave.

That's understandable.

I gotta suck it up.

Just don't
forget about me if i...

We won't forget about you.

Crap!

My meatball. I already
lost her with the drinking,

And now
I'm losing her in my room?

Like, I understand
it's good for her,

But this blows for me.

That's all.

I'm gonna miss you.
Yeah.

I'm not going anywhere.

Just make sure
no one takes my bed

'Cause I might wanna sleep here
on stay-at-home nights.

Snooki's a different person
now that she's pregnant.

She is growing up

And she is finally
accepting the fact

That this shore house
is not a place

For a pregnant woman
to sleep in.

There's f*cking things
being thrown around,

People fighting,

Strangers
coming in and out,

And so we definitely
support her decision,

But we're gonna miss
having a roommate

Not sleeping home
all the time.

What else
can we talk about?

Let's have a rap battle.

Why don't we all rap battle
like we used to do?

No.

Yo, I got
mad sh*t to do.

Everybody stand in a circle.

We're gonna, like, throw, like,
like a chine...

Like, chinese,
like, darts at each other.

And you guys, like,
look at each other in the eye

And, like, phwing!
Like that.

Why do we have to do darts?

We're staying in tonight

So I wanna play
some games in the house

And just making
a good time out of it.

All right, ready?

♪ In my veins,
I feel the blood again ♪

Like that?

Hyuh!

Oh, my god.

Hyuh!

It was at two.
You got two.

Living in the shore house

It's just like
being with your family,

Enjoying the shore...

So even though I feel
more comfortable,

You know, moving out and just
getting my own place,

It's bitter-sweet.

This is the stupidest game
I ever played in my life.

I like this game.