02x13 - Back Into the Fold

[bunniefuu]

Oh, yeah.
Me and ron went to the beach,

And pauly and vinny both had
their little wifeys there.

Don't come over to somebody's
house at f*cking 5:00 a.m.

And expect f*cking just to watch
and play checkers.

I never said anything
about checkers, old man.

Mike could not play
wingman for me.

You going home?

Yeah.
I'm sorry, pauly.

No, that's all right.
I'll walk you out.

You're so sweet.

I need somebody that knows
how to take one for the team

Or entertain a grenade

Or even decipher the b*mb
if one comes.

♪ Get crazy ♪

Dj pauly delvecchio!

I'm going
to jersey shore, b*tch!

All right,
we got a situation.

♪ Get crazy ♪

I'm the sweetest b*tch
you'll ever meet.

After I have sex with a guy,
I will rip their heads off.

Go, vinny! Go, vinny!

Um, hello!

Crocodiles
are gonna eat me, yeah.

Where's the bug repellent
stuff we have?

Cabs are here!

Before we leave miami,
we are going on a road trip.

We are hitting up
the everglades.

They got crocodiles, alligators,
whatever you want to call 'em.

Want to check this place out
and see what it's all about.

I'm excited.

Oh, yeah.
Everglades, yeah.

Take a little trip
in the everglades.

I want the front.

Oh, my gosh.

I am so excited,

Because we are going
to see the "crocadillies."

Oh, yeah!

♪ ♪

That airboat is serious.

Like, the propeller is huge.

I mean, that would work
better than my hair dryer.

Maybe instead of 25 minutes
to do my hair,

It'll only take me 10.

See the alligator
right in front of you?

Where?
Both: oh!

Look at that.

What's up, bro?
Yo, right now...

He's in attack mode.

Oh, sh*t!

I was just playing.
Whatever it is, I'll change.

Oh, sh*t.

What are you looking at?

Drive the boat.

Yo, start this thing up,
my dude.

Look at that.
He's going into the creeps.

We're getting out
on this side, bro.

Oh, my god.
Get out the car.

Oh, sh*t.
Where'd he go?

Holy sh*t.

What?

I'm good.

Bugs in the everglades
are huge.

They're about the size
of snooki.

They're bumping uglies.

Hey.
Holy sh*t.

What the hell?

Get the f*ck out of here.

Y'all, we're like fish
out of water around here, man.

We got to get out of here.

After the airboat tour,
we went to a little in-town cafe

Where they had, like,
crab legs

And alligators and all kinds
of stuff that you can eat.

There you go.
Thank you.

They got frog legs,
gator tail, french fries,

And a salad.

Caught me some catfish too.

Some extra alligator
to your frog leg.

Oh, great.
Gator hunters out there.

Oh, man.
Ooh.

Go ahead, guys.
Dig in.

Dig in.
It's a f*cking frog, bro.

Are you f*cking serious?

The frog looked
like they literally just took

The frog out of the water
and threw it,

Like, in a batter
and fried it.

It was disgusting.

They're good.

Try the frog.
No.

Stop.

Can I ask you something...
No.

About this frog situation
right here?

Can you eat the whole frog,
or is there bones?

Just eat the legs.
Just eat the legs.

My stomach is turning.

Jenni's gonna throw up
right now.

I hate frogs.

They're just disgusting,

Like, fly-eating,
slimy creatures.

And to actually see them fried

And buttered
and in people's mouths

Made me, like, green.

Here's one with legs.
Look at his a*s.

I'll be back.

Mike!

What is that?

Where's jenni?

She in the bathroom?

Oh.

Come on!

All right, guys, thank you.
Thank you.

Bye-bye. Bye.
Thank you.

I'm actually amazed
by that boat.

That boat's dope-
that, like, wind-boat thing.

Yeah.
That thing is sick.

I want to drive it.
Airboat.

The water was like this deep.
Yeah.

That thing is cool.

They said
you can drive it on land.

I don't know. I like it.
I had a good time.

Actually, ronnie drives
pretty good.

For real.

You just want to smoke
a cigarette.

No, dude, I need
to get some air, dude.

Just pull over.

Done?

Let's pop.
Let's pop, son.

Mike hops out the escalade,

f*cking about to throw up.

Come on, mike,
you're better than that.

Why do you think I didn't eat
the frog legs, though?

Everything come out all right?

Ugh, bro, I'm throwing up
f*cking frog legs.

- hola.
Como esta, mi amor?

Hi, love.
How are you?

Good. Good.
muy bien. Gracias.

- "muy bien. Gracias."
you sound so cute.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

This is, like, my last day
that I can see you,

And I want to take you out
to dinner, if you could.

Of course.
All right, perfect.

Miss you.
Can't wait to see you.

I miss you too.
All right.

Mwah.
Bye.

Me and vinny want to meet up
one last time

With our girls.

I want to meet up
with rocio.

He wants to meet up
with ramona.

I need reservations

For, like, 8:00.

The name, please?
Vinny.

Donny?
Vinny. Vinny.

V-i-n-n-y.
Oh, vinny.

No problem, buddy.

This is the last date
with ramona before I leave.

What time you going
on your date?

Around 8:00.

I'm just gonna take homegirl
to, like, ocean's or something.

♪ Like pinball machines ♪

What time is rocio coming?
Like, an hour.

Did you make reservations
at grazie?

Yeah, but, I mean...

For what time?


♪ No typical thursday night ♪

Ramona's late tonight.

I made sure, like, two times

She knew
what time to be here.

Somebody's nervous.

Don't be nervous, bro.

Who's most likely to be
a follower?

Vinny.
Ooh.

We all know who the fakest one
in the house is.

Damn.
Ohh.

Oh.

♪ ♪

Did you make reservations
at grazie?

Yeah, but, I mean...

You should
probably do that.

I did.

For what time?



Oh, somebody's nervous.

Shut the f*ck up, bro.

Don't be nervous, bro.

Ramona's late tonight.

I made sure, like, two times

She knew
what time to be here.

I'm not answering that.

Hello?
Hey.

What's up?
Almost ready.

What do you mean,
almost ready?

Ooh, he was waiting
for your call...

All nervous!

Pauly, shut the f*ck up.

Knees are shaking.

Be here a.s.a.p. Come on.
Okay, bye.

This girl's nuts, man.

I never in a million years
thought that,

When I walked in this house,
one of my last nights

In miami would be going out
with a girl that I really liked.

You would think
I want to go out,

I want to party,
I want to pop bottles,

Bang this girl,
that girl.

All I want to do
is take this girl on a date,

Hang out with her.

Hello.

Hi, beautiful.

Hi.

What's up?
Hey, baby.

You're only


I'm proud of you.
Yeah.

I definitely want to make
tonight special.

I want ramona

To know that I'm,
you know, for real,

That I don't treat girls
like this at all.

Oh, very good.

To our last final good-bye.

You thought I wasn't
gonna come for a second, huh?

Tonight?

No.
I knew you were gonna come.

I mean, I knew
you were gonna be mad late,

I think
I was even born late.

Pauly's taking out
his girl now too.

Really?
Mm-hmm.

We're matching.
That's so cute.

Aw.
Vinny took his friend out.

Oh, yeah?
Ramona?

Oh, that's cute.

Hi, guys.
How you doing?

Good.
You want inside, outside?

Inside.

I never been here, so if
the food sucks, I'm blaming you.

Guys, welcome to casanova.
Thank you.

I'm glad I met you
when I did,

Because, like, now, when I'm not
hanging out with you,

Like, I don't want
to do anything else.

You know what I'm saying?

I will.

You ever have
a long-distance relationship?

No.

Me neither.

What am I gonna do
when I'm out

And I see dancers
at, like, clubs in new york?

Oh, no.

You can't look at them.
You didn't even look at me.

I mean,
I'm gonna look at 'em,

But they're gonna remind me
of you, you know.

I mean, that's why I said,
"what am I gonna do?"

Ah, it's so sad
saying good-bye to ramona.

Every time I met
another chick,

I really just didn't care.

The fact that I have to say
good-bye to her

Is very upsetting,

Because she's been
one of my best memories here.

♪ Are you ready ♪

♪ I'm not going out tonight ♪

Bye.

Both: bye.

♪ Can you be ready for me? ♪

Ohh!

Bye.

♪ Like loyalty ♪

♪ Loyalty ♪

I'm glad.

Like, I wouldn't come
to miami

To, like, expect
to meet somebody,

Like, you know what I mean?

But, like, I'm glad
that I met you.

You know what I mean?
Yeah, me too.

I just hope, like,

Since you're gonna be gone
for so long or, like,

You know, so far away,
that it doesn't...

Put a damper on things.
We'll make it happen.

I really want
to give her a shot.

I mean, I've done
all the right things.

I took her on nice dates.
I got her flowers.

And I want to see
how it goes,

Because I'd like
to have a girlfriend.

Wah. We're leaving.

It's not for good, though...

Just for a little while.

I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you too.

♪ ♪

I'm not gonna try to smash it
out with rocio before I leave.

It's not that kind of chick.

And I don't need to,
you know?

I'd like to get
to know her first.

♪ ♪

I could stay out here
for hours...

Just like that.

One more hug.

Have a safe trip.
You too. Have a good trip.

I'll call you.
I'll leave you messages.

All right.
Okay.

Bye-bye.
Bye. Have a good night.

You too.

♪ ♪

Do you think we can get
through anything?

I think
we pretty much have.

Like, the worst?
Yeah.

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

You got weird.

What happened?

You got weird.

Okay.

What's on your mind?

Like, talk to me
about what's bothering you

Instead of holding things in.

I'm not stupid.

Why would anything
be wrong?

I don't like you,
like, weird.

So fix it now.

You know,
we're joking around,

We're laughing,
we're talking about how things

Are gonna be when we leave,

And mr. Hyde comes out
to play.

Let me make this clear
to you.

I would like to be
with my boyfriend at all times.

Do you get that?

You're miserable.

♪ I don't want to waste
my time ♪

♪ I don't want to dance ♪

I never ratted anybody out
in my life.

No, you said I'm fake.

That's what I heard.
That's what I heard.

You're gonna break up
a friendship.

I was having fun tonight.

And then we blew it.
No, you blew it.

So what are we doing together?

This is the way we spend
our last night together?

Well, you're right.

This whole night's ruined,
so now I don't know.

So now what?

I don't know what you want me
to tell you, ron.

Just say you were wrong.

Just say, "I'm sorry.
I apologize.

Let's finish the night."

How about you be a grown-up,
a 23-year-old woman?

I am a 23-year-old woman.
Get that straight.

No, you're not.
Yes, I am.

You're far from mature.
Okay.

Yeah.
It's time to go.

Yeah, it is.
Thank god.

Let's go.

T-shirt time?

Bro. I don't know
what the f*ck's going on.

I need to get
out of here, dog.

We're about to go out
for the club.

It's our last night to go out.

And we're waiting
for sam and ronnie.

I don't know
what to do, sam.

Like, it was our last date,
and, like, we got into a fight.

And I didn't cause the fight,
and that's clear.

Sam still hasn't admit
that she's wrong.

Sam has to be stubborn
and hardheaded

And, you know,
ruin the whole night.

I think they're fighting.

I'm always the one
who's wrong.

How is that anything

That I'm saying to you?

It's always me,
and to be honest with you,

I'm kind of sick of that.

Snooki, go tell them
we're waiting for them.

Ooh, I'm not going.

It's our last f*cking
date night, and we're fighting.

Like, what does that say?
You tell me.

I spoke my mind.
Wait. Shh.

And you don't like it.
Hello.

Yeah, we're going.
We're going.

Okay.

We're leaving now?
Yeah.

I'm just like, f*ck this.
I need a drink.

We're going out.

We're gonna go out
with everybody.

I'm not sitting home.
Let's go.

We're ready. Let's go.
Let's go.

Get out of here, please.

Our last night out
in miami.

Finally, it's time to go out.
We're in miami.

Let's have fun.
Last night... Let's do it.

♪ Tell me you love me ♪

The whole crew's at b.e.d.,

And we're gonna party
the night away, go crazy.

Maybe get some girls,
get some drinks,

And we're gonna get it in
tonight, man.

♪ ♪

Yeah!
To our time in miami!

Whoo!

She finally apologized.

I said, "this is
what I wanted from you

For the last four hours."

I'm like, "I just wanted you
to admit

That you were wrong."

We always work
through our problems,

And we somehow, like, move on
from them.

♪ ♪

I'm just having fun right now.

I'm on the stripper pole.

I'm shaking my booty,

Meeting guys,
dancing,

You know, just doing it all.

Tonight is a fun night.

You know, there's chicks
everywhere.

These two girls are, like,
all over me.

And they're saying the craziest
stuff to me that, you know,

Girls don't usually say
to guys.

And they're okay.

They're not the prettiest girls
in the world,

But sometimes you mix
two grenades,

It might make
one good-looking girl.

I definitely was thinking
about ramona

When, you know,
these h*s were all over me.

When you actually have
a good girl out there,

Say no to h*s.

I'm proud of vinny
for coming into his own.

But guess what, baby.

It's a carousel,

And that's two girls,
me, and lots of fun.

There you go.
There you go.

There you go.
There you go. Good.

And that's called
a threesome, okay?

That's a situation-some, okay?

Three minutes later, guess what.

I'm in the bathroom,

Getting...

Yeah.

I'd like to give a trophy

To the person
who did the least in this house.

Who gives a f*ck?
All right.

Well, you're in the running.

Most likely to get skin cancer.

Ooh.
That's a good one.

That's a good one.
I'll have to nominate myself.

Wake up, situation.

We're gonna do all our errands...
The gym, all that bullshit.

Like, what is that?

Today's the second-to-last day,

And I wanted to be
at the beach.

Ew.

I wanted to be anywhere else
besides cleaning the fridge

To the point where
I'm almost vomiting.

When did I get this job
in the house?

But being part of a family
is taking one for the team.

There is decaying food

Left over from vinny's mom
being there.

There's actually spilled-
I don't even know what.

I feel like a sl*ve
to this kitchen.

How old is that?

I threw out two bags of garbage
worth of sh*t

That was inside the fridge.

I just hate cleaning up
after seven people.

This is just pathetic.

I am not f*cking
any of my roommates,

Therefore I should not be
cleaning up after their sh*t.

Ugh.

Doing the nasty
in the jacuzzi.

I heard
you're cooking, snooks.

Whoever said I should cook,
they're out of their mind.

If you want me to cook
and poison everybody

And we're gonna be dead
in two minutes, whatever.

I'm gonna tell sam
to help me cook.

By the time we get back,
my grandma...

Samantha!

Will you help me
cook tacos?

Nicole!

Wait, if it's-
snook, come here.

That's right.

Stop pouting.
Come here.

Sam doesn't want
to help me.

I'll help you, snooks.

No.
No boys can help.

It's girls.

But I never cook.

Can I watch?

If you're naked.

Oh, they talking mad sh*t
about you in there.

You better get in there.
Who?

Everybody.
Mad sh*t about who?

About you.

Mike's definitely
a pot-stirrer, yes.

He likes to cause
a lot of problems

And then go take a nap
after he does it.

Just nicole?

Snooki just said
you won't help

And you don't do anything
and sh*t like that.

That's all.

Would you like
some help, nicole?

I would.

Great.
I'm here to help you.

You don't have to help me
if you don't want to.

I'm helping
'cause I want to.

You're lying.

If I didn't want to help you,
I wouldn't help you.

She's like,
"oh, hey, nicole,

I'm gonna help you cook
some tacos."

Like, f*cking sarcastic b*tch.

I was like,
"who is this girl?

What is wrong with her?"

I'm so excited
to help you right now.

Yep, so don't, sam.

I'm actually fine.

Like, don't question me.
I'm helping you.

You want to act like that,

I'm gonna help you,
but I'm gonna be a b*tch...

On purpose.

Okay.

Dude, she f*cking ruins
my mood.

We were, like, friends,
and now she's...

"Friends" is a deep word.

No, we were friends.

We were.

Everything we've done
for that girl...

Yeah, no sh*t.

Oh, my god,
I'm so angry.

Don't let her get to you.

I'm in the same position.
Just don't.

I would like to know
a reason why she's like that.

She doesn't have girlfriends.

She doesn't know how to act
with girlfriends.

She doesn't know.

I give someone
the time of day,

And you're gonna treat me
like that.

Nicole still tries
to be her friend.

Like, you're working yourself up
to get upset,

Because at the end of the day,

Sam doesn't give two shits
about you, so why care?

Let's go back in.

Don't let this ruin you.

Done cooking?
Almost.

If angelina was here,
I'd give her the burnt one.

It's ready.
Give me salt.

The hamburger meat looks
like vinny's chest hair.

Look what we first started
in jersey.

We didn't even know each other.
Everybody was perfect strangers.

Now the girls cooking dinner.

Like, this is crazy.
This is the way it should be.

We had some interesting times
here in this house.

Yes, sir, I will give ron
a couple interesting times

In the first week or two
he was here...

A couple
of very interesting times.

Ron gets a couple trophies.

I'd like to give a trophy

To the person
who did the least in this house.

Let's vote right now.

Who did the least
in this house right now?

I'm voting for...

It is a tie between...
Who gives a f*ck?

I wasn't gonna say you.
I don't care.

You could say me.

All right,
well, you're in the running.

That's weird.

Wait, what?

This... This is all
in harmless fun.

Everybody
chill the f*ck out.

You can say whatever you want
to me right now.

I'm happy.

Mike is a lunatic,
and he causes

A lot of issues
in this house on purpose.

But it makes me laugh,
because I'm over it.

Nah, 'cause...

All I said to him-
all i...

I said I'm upset with you.
With me?

How the f*ck
did I call you fake?

That's what I heard.
From who?

Yous are all f*cking nuts!

Our last night.
I love you.

I love you.

We just had the most awkward
dinner I have ever had

In my entire life.

Like, honestly, it's our
last night in the house.

Let's just have a good time.

- salute.
- Salute.

Last night here-
I'm getting f*cked up.

Last night here.

We are gonna do
a game of some sort.

What kind of game?

You know, like,
when you're in a yearbook

And you write out, like,
most likely to succeed,

Most likely to... Your sister,
most likely to this, to that.

How do you spell likely?

Who's been the life
of the party this year?

This one's always down
to party.

Mike had to drag me
out of the club.

If you have to drag someone
out of the club,

You know, that's just f*cking
going all out.

Most likely
to get skin cancer.

Ooh.
That's a good one.

That's a good one.
I'm gonna have

To nominate myself.

Thank you. Thank you.
Just 'cause you had

A tanning bed
in your house.

Who's most likely
to be a follower?

Vinny.
All: ooh.

You have to say why.

Ah, 'cause last year,

Vinny didn't hang out
with me and pauly,

And this year
he conveniently...

Okay.

Meshed in with us,
and he decided

That it was a...

Did the robbery
on pauly.

Mike, you're just mad

Because vinny did the robbery
on your best friend pauly.

I said it straight up.

Yo, why you calling me
a follower, dog?

That's f*cked up.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

That's f*cked up.
Just 'cause I g.t.l.?

Listen, last year in seaside,
I did g.t.l.

You didn't tan, bro!

I don't fake-tan.
I go to the beach, m*therf*cker.

Now, m*therf*cker,
don't you?

I spray-tan.
Oh, that's even more fake!

How many times
did I go into a spray... A thing?

Tanorexic.

We all know who the fakest one
in the house is.

Oh.

Oh, damn.

Ohh.
Yeah.

It's not coming
from me, so...

Well, I'd like somebody

To elaborate,
whoever it came from.

Mike was really getting hard
on vinny

And calling him fake
and a follower.

So I just blew up mike's spot.

And I'm like,
"you're the one acting fake,

And it's not me
that's saying it."

I'd like to know
who allegedly or is some way

Talking sh*t
behind my back

Who's supposedly my friend
in some way.

I'd like to know
who did it.

You're gonna talk sh*t
about me the last day?

And that's typical

Of somebody
to do that the last day,

Because if you did it
the first couple weeks,

You would be isolated.

I'm glad that sh*t got
cleared up the last day,

Who the f*cking fake person
in the house is.

It's not angelina.
She's not here.

It's f*cking jenni.

It's just the way it is.

So you know what I mean?
It's just...

Can we change
the subject, please?

Yeah.
Mike is a good friend of mine.

But we're not as good friends
as he thinks.

So when he tells me stuff
about jenni,

He thinks I'm not gonna
tell her, but, hello, girl code.

When you talk about my girl,
I'm going to let her know

What you're saying.

What'd I miss?

Nothing.
Nothing.

Are we going in the jacuzzi?
Yeah.

All right, let's do it.

Is this my towel or yours?
Let's go outside.

As of right now, I wouldn't
trust anyone in the house.

I hope I can trust you.

I'll talk to you
after this.

I'd like to know the truth.

Just the consensus
of the fakest in the house...

Jenni.

Pauly was like...

Pauly and vinny?

Really?

Let's go make a drink.

Nicole basically tells me
mike was like,

"The most fake in the house
is jenni,"

Then that people were agreeing.

And that set me off.

You gotta-
you gotta let it go.

Let it go.
It's not worth it.

So f*ck vinny.
f*ck pauly at this point.

Like, I'm pissed off.

Come with me for a second.

What up?

I go confront mike,
and I'm like, "listen.

"You know,
you want to call me fake.

"Well, then
your boy pauly's fake,

Because he talked sh*t
about you to nicole."

Who do you think
said something?

I don't know.

Pauly?

I mean,
that's very upsetting

For him to even-
for me to...

But do you know what I mean?

I'm extremely upset
if it was him.

Yo, I don't know
why jenni told me this,

But f*cking jenni-
jenni just told me...

She's like, "yo, pauly,
he's the one."

Like...
Are you being serious?

That's what she just told me
two seconds ago.

I'm just gonna-
I'm just gonna leave it alone.

Jenni.

Jenni thinks she heard me
talking sh*t about mike,

And now she's blowing it up to
something completely different

Than what it actually was.

I'm the one
that ratted out sitch?

No.
Oh, my god.

Sitch just came out here
and said that you said

That I ratted him out.
You shouldn't have said that.

And I told you that.
I never ratted anybody out

In my life.
No, no, no.

You and everyone here said,

When I went to the bathroom...
Oh, dear lord.

I'm fake.
I said you're fake?

Yes.

I never said that.

That's what I heard.
So you're gonna tell him

That I ratted him out?
That's what I heard.

Are you gonna break up
a friendship?

It's funny
how jenni really didn't go,

"No, I didn't say that."

She kind of was like,
"well, you called me fake."

I don't think
pauly was really getting that

She was
kind of brushing it off.

When I walked away...

So who told you that?

I don't want to bring it up.
Snooks? Who told you that?

I said when I walked away...
Be real. Be real.

Everything's out in the open
right now. Be real.

Everybody, be real.

Pauly, why are you so mean
right now?

Because she's trying to
f*cking break up a friendship.

I'm not trying
to break up a friendship.

I never said he was-
I never f*cking ratted him out.

I walk away, and he goes,

"Who's the fakest one
in the house?"

Everyone nods
and says jenni.

Oh, everyone nodded?
That's what I heard.

You know it wasn't me,

But then you told him-
you told him...

All I said to him...

All I said to him was...

I don't have a problem
with him.

I said I'm upset with you...
With me?

Because I heard
that you called me fake.

How the f*ck
did I call you fake?

That's what I heard.
From who?

I said that she's fake?

No.
All right, then!

What are you talking about?
Yous are all f*cking nuts!

It's the last night
in the house.

Do I really want
to have problems

With everybody in the house?
But what am I supposed to do?

Now I look
like a f*cking d*uche bag.

This is ridiculous that people
are fighting with me right now.

I'm in the mood
to get the f*ck out.

I said that she's fake?
No!

All right, then!
What are you talking about?

Yous are all f*cking nuts!

I don't think anybody's fake.
I don't rat anybody out.

I would never rat out
my best friend.

All I said was-
I just go to the bathroom,

I hear
I'm gonna get my a*s beat.

What's that got
to do with me?

And then I heard that pauly
said that I was fake.

That's crazy
if you would say that.

It's not crazy.

I said she's fake?
No.

What happened, then?

Can you not yell at me
like that?

You're scaring the sh*t
out of me right now, pauly.

Well, what happened?

Let's get sh*t straight
right now. What happened?

Mike said a question,
"who is fake in the house?"

Okay, who answered
the question?

Mike did.
Thank you!

It's a little scary,

'Cause pauly-
his, like, veins

Were coming out of his,
like, neck and head.

Everyone nodded their head,

And I was like,
what's going on right now?

Nobody nodded their head.

Nobody nodded their head!

I nodded my head to jenni?

He answered the question.
No, no.

I nodded my head to her?

No, when mike said,
"who's fake in the house?"

And he said, "jenni,"

People nodded their heads.

And I apologized
to him, and I said,

"I am pissed off,"
because I was waiting

For you guys to get out.

Now you just said
that snooki said

That I said
you were fake.

Now she said
that she never said that.

I'm just trying
to clear sh*t up.

Pretty much
pauly called her right out.

Pauly's like, "how dare you
try to break up

A relationship
between me and sitch?"

I was f*cking immediately...

I was like,
I would never, never.

Dude, me and you
are like brothers.

I was like-

Thank you.

I didn't mean
to go out like that.

All I said to mike-
but it did.

And now I look
like the f*cking as*h*le

In the house-
thank you.

I didn't know pauly
was gonna f*cking be that.

Because I aired it out, nicole
thinks I ruined her last night,

'Cause she thinks that everyone
hates her because of me.

But then-
no, I'm very upset right now.

But look at me.

It's the last night
in the house.

Do I really want
to have problems with everybody

In the house?
What am I supposed to do?

What am I supposed to do?

So stupid.

I don't think
you should be acting like this.

No, because
it's all your fault, jenni.

How is it my fault?
Because.

Because I approached them?

No, 'cause you made me
look like a f*cking as*h*le

To everybody.
But I didn't.

And now I look
like the f*cking bad guy,

And I'm not the bad guy.

You're not, though.
I'm not.

But that's what you made me
look like, jenni.

All I wanted... I heard
that pauly said that I was fake.

That's all I wanted to know.

And now I look
like a f*cking d*uche bag.

But you saw
what you saw.

I really don't care.
I just...

I want to go home.

I'm over this sh*t.
f*cking giving me stress...

I'm gonna have
a f*cking heart attack

In two f*cking minutes.

My blood pressure's
off the roof.

This is ridiculous
and so irritating

That people are fighting
with me right now,

When all I want to do
is have a good time.

So I'm in the mood
to, like, pack right now

And just to get
the f*ck out.

I'm too drunk
for this right now.

Who's in there?
Nobody.

You know I didn't say anything
about you, right?

I... Yeah, I just-


On my mother's life,
I didn't say anything about you.

Jenni, did I ever say
that vinny said anything

About you, or pauly?

Did I ever?

It was a nod.

Did I ever say
that they talked sh*t

About you
behind your back?

Never.
I never did.

Never.
I never did.

She even said
the same thing to me.

All right, good.
So now that that's cleared up...

She even said the same thing,
that she...

Pauly and vinny are
my best friends in the house.

And for them to f*cking yell
at me like that...

Nobody yelled at you.

I did nothing wrong.

Snooki's crying.

I got jenni thinking
I was talking crap about her.

It hurts,
because, you know,

I've been very close
with jenni.

And now jenni has to hear
from snooki,

"Don't trust anyone
in the house."

Like, you can trust me,
you know?

Don't tell people
that you can't trust me.

You have friends
leaving this house.

I don't.

Thank you.

No. It has nothing
to do with that.

No, it does. It does.
I'm not f*cking stupid.

You told me
that they nodded.

Because mike was pissed off
at you.

Exactly.
And they nodded

Because of the fact
that you said that.

"Everybody nodded."
There she goes again.

Nobody nodded.

I don't even like the girl,

And I didn't even nod.

It had nothing to do with us.
It was f*cking between them two.

I look like a sh*t-talker,
and I'm not.

I'm not.

It has to do
with the conversation

I had with mike
in his bedroom.

All I did was apologize
to him

And said that I am upset.

Mike blew it
out of proportion

And now I look like the f*cking
as*h*le in the house,

And I'm not,

'Cause I don't talk sh*t
about anybody in this house.

I would never. Never!

You got to understand,
I didn't.

And I know
you wouldn't either.

It was all because of mike!
Do you realize that?

It's all because of mike!

Whatever, man.

God forbid
I say one word.

It's gonna escalate
into something

That's so huge
that everybody hates me now.

She's saying that jenni made
her look like an idiot

Out there, 'cause now she thinks
everybody hates her.

But that's what friends
are for, right?

That's all I have
to say about that.

Whatever.
Mind your business.

Well, this was
a great last night.

God forbid
I say one word.

It's gonna escalate
into something

That's so huge
that everybody hates me now.

Whatever.
Mind your business.

Well, this was
a great last night.

She's mad.
She shouldn't be.

We all forgot
about it already.

You know what I mean?
It's over.

But she thinks
everyone hates her.

No.

Yo, baby. Nobody's mad at you,
so you know, okay?

Pauly's yelling in my face.

Do I want pauly to yell
at my face?

No.
Babe, it's over, babe.

And I did nothing wrong.
It's over.

I did nothing wrong.
It's over.

All right, calm down.
Calm down, all right?

No.
I'm f*cking pissed off.

I know, I know,
but calm down.

All right?
Everybody loves you.

Nobody's mad at you at all.

Get up.
Get up, just for a second.

Just get up.

Why?

'Cause you're coming inside.

Okay, my cuca's out.

Snooki was definitely upset,

So I make it my business
to go out there

And grab her and say,
"snooks, listen, girl,

Everything's fine."

Nobody's mad at you, snooks.

Okay?
Everything's cool.

Everybody loves you.
There's no issues.

We're all family.
It's not all cool.

And there's no issues.

Is anybody mad at anybody
right now?

No.

Everything got blown
out of proportion.

And that's why it's dropped.

I think mike pretty much
apologizing, just saying,

"We love each other.
Yeah, we f*ck up sometimes,"

Really brings us all together

As a family.
It's over.

Smile. Take a drink.
Have a cigarette.

Have some brownies.
No, I don't want any of that.

Give the cat a meatball.

Mike could be funny at times.

Then you just want
to k*ll him the next.

He's actually a great guy
deep down.

I just think that he likes

To be a little troublemaker
sometimes.

♪ This is the last night ♪

♪ The last night ♪

Oh!

Cuddle with me.

Oh, now you want to cuddle.
Cuddle.

Mm.

This is the last night,
my man.

What type of eggs
are we eating?

Whatever you want to make.

It's our last meal here
together,

And then we got to pack,
so I'm cooking breakfast.

Some eggs, bacon, toast...

And guess what-
some sausage for that a*s.

Oh!

My god!

Did you break it?

Boom, that m*therf*cker
popped.

♪ The last cheer ♪

Oh, yeah, last cheer.
Yeah.

To miami.

All: miami.

I'm packing up,
and I still can't believe it,

That it's, like, over.

I remember road-tripping here
with sitch

And just starting it,
and now it's over.

I don't have any regrets, man.
No regrets.

We're healthy, not hurt,
and not handcuffed.

And that's all that matters.

What do I do
with all these chicks' numbers?

All girls' numbers.

♪ ♪

Hey.

I'm bringing pickles
with me.

Okay.

Cabs are here!
That's for ronnie and sam.

I don't want you to leave.
Aw, that's f*cked up.

Bye.

Bye.
Bye.

I love you.

I'm gonna miss you.

I feel like me and ron
are good,

Even though I'm hurt
and he embarrassed me

And I know what he did,

He helped me get
through this time in miami.

Get home safe.

For me to survive

And move on,
I had to go to somebody

Who has always been my friend
prior to everything,

And that was ron.

Bye.

I think I pretty much left
the way I wanted to leave.

You know, I left
friends with mike,

Good friends with pauly,
brothers with vin,

And I leave with my girlfriend,

Which I didn't come
in here with.

Nuh-uh.

She say bye to snooks?

Like the spiteful b*tch
that she is,

Sam doesn't acknowledge me.

And it's just pathetic
at this point.

But what ron will do
to her in the future

Will just go to show

Who was actually there
for her

And who wasn't.

That's huge.

Why would that just be here
right now?

That's bad luck.

That's bad f*cking luck.

A crow comes,
and it starts quacking at us.

Or not quacking.
What's a crow do?

On the last day,
there's a f*cking black crow.

Usually when a crow comes
and it does that,

That means you're gonna die.

It's warning you of your death.

So right now, we're thinking,
"who's gonna die right now?"

Not gonna be me.

Even though we're separated,
we're still mvp.

M.
V.

P.
Special, what?

Mvp definitely laid its mark

Here on miami,
and wherever we go

And if we're together,
mvp will live on forever.

Guys, have a safe trip back.

You too.
And I'll see you

On the other side.

Have a safe flight, man.
Love you.

Love you.
Love you, vinny.

Group hug.

What up?

Jenni is my sister.

I love her-
my best friend.

And you know what?
Everybody has their moments

When they're like,
"f*ck you."

But we aired it out,

And now I feel
like it's all good.

I got you slim jims
and red bull.

Did you really?
Yeah.

I'm gonna have sex
with you later.

Coming to miami,
I was really stressed,

But over the months,

I developed a huge bond
with this family,

Like, so it hurts.
It sucks.

Like, I feel like
it can't end.

I'll catch you... I'll catch you
on the other side.

I love you.

Love you.
This is not my first rodeo.

So I kind of knew
from last year in jersey

That it really doesn't hit you

Until you maybe hug
that last person good-bye

And you walk out the door.

Wow, like, it's really over.

There was mad drama.
sh*t went down,

But I'm gonna miss miami
completely.

Miami!

See you, miami.
Miami!

I'm gonna miss you, miami.

Oh, my god,
I'm gonna miss miami.

♪ It was only today ♪

♪ And I let you flee
the scene ♪

♪ Turn and go ♪

♪ So we can say so long ♪

♪ Good-bye ♪

♪ ♪