02x04 - Breaking Up

[bunniefuu]

Oh, my god!

I see ron with another girl.

Ronnie is feeding
steaming alpo

To sam on a plate
'cause he's dogging her so much.

I'll go sleep with my girl
in the bed, how about that?

You know what I'm saying?
h*!

Do you think she has
the right to know?

Tss. I don't-
I don't know.

Oh, are you being
affectionate?

Yeah.
Why?

Yay, finally.

Like, I've been waiting for
this moment

For you to, like,
say that.

I'm gonna go out
for a little bit.

I'm in miami with my boys.
I'm gonna go out.

It makes me think,
what are his motives here?

He's a dirtbag.

He goes and does his thing

And then comes back in bed
with her?

It's, like,
both of our friends.

What do we do?

[Upbeat dance music]

Dj pauly delvecchio!

I'm going to the jersey shore,
b*tch!

All right,
we got a situation.

I'm the sweetest b*tch
you'll ever meet.

[Laughing]

After I have sex with a guy
I will rip their heads off.

Go vinny! Go vinny!

Um, hello!

[Club music]

♪ ♪

Ronnie is...

He's the president of
i.f.f.

That's the "I'm f*cked
foundation."

He's... He's dogging his girl
every day

Who he supposedly loves,

And then an hour later,

You're gonna go sleep with
your girl.

Pretty much, sam,
you're getting punked.

Ow, my feet hurt.

Ooh,
that's an all white store.

White's in in miami,
isn't it?

Yeah, what if you get
your period?

It's ruined.
Ugh.

I'm gonna call emilio.

He's probably at the club
right now f*cking living it up.

Before I go to bed,
I have to call emilio.

I haven't talked to him
for two days.

[Dialing phone, phone ringing]

[Shouting indistinctly]
ew.

Ew, what are you doing?

[Shouting indistinctly]
what are you doing?

I can't hear you, babe.

Go somewhere!

I can't hear you.

So go outside where you can
f*cking hear me, dumb a*s.

No, I'm not going outside!

You're a big as*h*le.

[Dial tone]
oh, my god!

[Hangs up phone]
f*ck that.

Did he hang up on you?

You want your naked girls?
Go ahead.

Go get an std.

Guys are d*uche bags
and I hate them all.

They don't know how to
deal with women

And I feel that's why
the l*sbian rate

Is going up in this country.

I am so pissed.

I f*cking call him.

We pretty much argue
whatever.

And you know what
he said to me?

He goes, "well, there's
naked girls here anyway.

f*ck you," hung up.

I'm fuming.

It was not a good idea
coming here with a boyfriend.

I don't know.

Yeah, you do.
I feel like you know something

And you should tell me
right now.

I don't know anything.
I just don't know.

They're, like, quiet.

And nicole was just, like,
zoning out.

And I don't know if was because
she was upset about emilio.

Can you tell me, like,
what's...

What do you think?
Like, I need advice right now.

I'd say probably be single
for your own sanity.

You guys talked about this?

I don't know anything.
I'm just saying, like...

Nicole.
Just seen how upset you are.

You just looked like
you know something.

If he wanted to stay with you
and snuggle, he would have.

But he didn't.
He went to the club.

So that... That should be
your decision right there.

Eventually,
sam's gonna find out

That we know.

And we really don't know
what to do.

It's just a big ball
of f*ck.

It's a new word.
f*ck.

I just feel like
if you guys know something,

Like, I hope you guys
would tell me.

Like, I would be very,
like, upset

If you guys didn't.

[Club music]

♪ Is that a g*n
in your pocket ♪

♪ Or are you happy
to see me ♪

♪ Are you happy
to see me ♪

♪ Mm ♪

♪ Hey, baby,
I'm like the bible- ♪

Sam does look like a fool
because she doesn't know

What ronnie does
behind her back.

I feel like he's not gonna
tell her anything

And it's not my position
to say anything either, so.

♪ The bass line bumpin' ♪

♪ You and I are gonna be
humpin' ♪

♪ Do it to me endlessly ♪

Dude, I feel so guilty
right now.

So do i.

It took a lot for me
not to say something.

I don't wanna lose her
as a friend, jenni, I don't.

Me either.

And ron deserves to f*cking
deal with it.

She's gonna find out
one way or another.

You should tell her now.

If I was in sam's position,
I would definitely expect

My two girlfriends in the house
to tell me.

I know, I know.
I feel like sh*t.

It's 4:00.

Where are these...

Oh, I'll be back
in an hour?

f*ck you.
f*ck you, ron.

Find out from somebody what-
if ron did anything.

Find out, and let me know...

Well, the only one
that's been at the clubs

And we haven't is, I think,
angelina, right?

She's the,
she's the only girl

With the boys right now.

I know,
but she does her own thing.

Yeah, but the other day,

She sees something,
she'll see something.

Or hear something.

God forbid
if he is doing something,

Don't you wanna know
for physical reasons

So you don't touch him?

Do you think he would
do that?

I was freaking out.

It's 4:00 in the morning,
and he's still not home?

It's just sketchy.
Like, where the f*ck are you?

Never fall in love
in miami.

[Phone ringing]
do you want it?

I want to go to bed.

Do you want it?

Hello.
I want to talk to nicole.

I am nicole
and I don't wanna talk to you.

Nicole.
I wanna talk to you.

No, do you know
what you said to me?

You f*cked up.

Nicole.
Look, are you listening?

Nicole.

I'm listening,
stupid a*s.

All right, nicole.

Are you serious?

I'm being ser...

Are you serious?

Nicole, I'm trying to be
honest with you.

He just said
he [bleep] a girl tonight.

Nicole.
You [bleep] a girl.

I f*cked up tonight.

Don't ever call me again...

I was just kidding,
I was just kidding...

No, go f*ck yourself.
Go f*ck yourself.

Why would you ever
kid about that?

Go f*ck you.

Go f*ck yourself.
I hope you f*cking die.

No, no-
oh, my god.

Why would he f*cking
just say that?

Oh, my god.

[Screams loudly]

Somebody broke a plate
while we were gone?

The house is a mess.

There's, like,
broken dishes outside.

Oh, damn.

I don't even know
what went on.

She left me by myself.

All right,
so you wanna be like that?

f*ck you.
We can play that game too.

After that, done.

♪ Well, it's
a sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sham ♪

♪ That no one gets in
your pants ♪

[Screams]

I'm so angry.
I'm so angry.

He said it twice.

"I'm sorry,
but I [bleep] a girl."

Oh, my god.
[Gasps]

Hello.
Hello.

I will call the cops on you
if you call again

Or I will take
the next flight out

To f*cking new york
to beat your a*s.

[Laughs]

The f*ck are you
talking about, a voice mail?

[Laughter]

Damn, who is this-
what did he say?

"Is this a voice mail?"

[Laughter]
[phone rings]

Ah!
Shh, shh.

Hi, you've reached
the miami residence.

We are not here right now,

But if you'd like to
leave a message,

I'd appreciate it,
thank you.

Hello?
Beep.

Hello.

[Laughter]

Hello...

Let me explain something
to you

Because we have about




So while you're [bleep]
the nasty b*tches out there,

I'm sure nicole's gonna
get it in down here.

All right?

So at the end of the day,
you're just a loser as it is

And you're a drunk skank
with no job.

So get it through
your f*cking head, all right?

Oh.

[Laughter]

It was, it was mean.
But he deserved it.

I love you.

f*ck guys!
Whoo-hoo!

Whoo!

I'm so happy.
Yoo!

[Laughter]

It's done.
It's a wrap.

You f*cked up,
you're a f*cking loser.

You've ruined the best thing

That has ever happened to you,
you mother f*ck.

You made me cry.
I'm not crying anymore.

I'm ready to f*cking
chop your ba*ls off.

Let's go to bed
before you start chopping off...

[Laughter]

Are we ready?
Let's go.

Situation.

[Horn honks]

Yo, pauly.

Somebody broke a plate
while we were gone?

We get home from the club,
and the house is a mess.

There's, like,
broken dishes outside.

And we don't even know
what went on.

Oh, damn.
You know what?

I think I might be sleeping
outside tonight.

Snook.
Oh, this is snooki.

The main attraction.
Snooki!

What's up, baby doll?

I had the worst day
of my life, boys.

He's, like, "oh, well,

There's naked boys
at the club anyway, f*ck you.

You don't need that.
You're beautiful.

Like, f*ck him.
Oh, f*ck me.

Doesn't even f*cking
come in here and say hello,

After you're f*cking-


And I'm waiting here for you,
'cause I love you?

And you're f*cking
out at the club?

[Laughs bitterly]

How was the club?
Good?

I'm glad it was worth it
to you.

Don't point at me like that.

I didn't go out with
the girls specifically

'Cause I'm waiting-
I'm waiting for you.

Like a b*tch.

You are a b*tch.

I'm getting to a point now

Where it's like, you know,
enough is enough.

I don't think I've started
any arguments yet.

Starting to believe
that you're just

Beating a dead horse
at this point.

And if the horse is dead,

Then you gotta
leave it alone.

Why did you go to the club?

You legit laid in bed

And everyone heard you say,
"if you wanna go out

With your friends,
go out with your friends..."

It was like a test
and you failed.

I'm not in f*cking school.

I'm not in school, okay?

I don't like tests.

That's why I didn't go
to college.

[Laughs uneasily]
don't test me.

'Cause I will fail
the majority of the time.

You know what?
Why are you with me?

I'm asking you.

I don't have an answer
for that.

It's 6:00 in the morning,
so f*ck you.

f*ck you.

I [bleep] myself every day
when I'm with you.

I'm not gonna sit here
and cry over

Somebody who, well, obviously
f*cking doesn't care.

I definitely
don't like to see sammi cry,

But I'm not gonna hold back
about the way I feel

And what's gonna come out of
my mouth

To make her feel better
about herself.

If that's the way
I'm feeling at the moment,

Then I'm gonna say
what's on my mind.

You've f*cking
put me through enough.

I'm f*cking done.

So don't talk to me tomorrow,

Don't talk to me for
the rest of the time I'm here.

'Cause I'm over you.

Get that,
I'm f*cking over you.

'Cause I'm not gonna
sit in my bed

Waiting for
my f*cking boyfriend

Who's at a f*cking club.

I'm not doing that.

And I didn't do sh*t
to you.

I never cheated on you,
I didn't do sh*t to you,

So f*ck you.

Have you ever cheated on
your boyfriend or girlfriend?

[Gasps]
ronnie.

No, you're never gonna
say anything.

She has an idea.
She's not that stupid.

I need to say something.

Ron. Ron.

What's up?
What the f*ck?

Moshi moshi!

Oh, yay, chopsticks.

[Gasps]

Oh, my god,
I feel like I'm dying.

I'm freezing.
Me too.

I'm exhausted.

All the fighting with ron
is affecting me,

Like, emotionally
wearing me down.

I just need to go out
with the girls

And just enjoy myself
a little bit

So I'm not focusing
on ronnie, like, 24-7.

I got so pissed last night
'cause, you know,

Pauly has-
is with a girl,

Mike's talking to a girl,
like... You know what I mean?

And then vinnie's talking to
a girl.

And then I'm like, just, like,
"what the f*ck?"

This is what I don't get.

If all of them
are talking to girls,

Like,
is ron just sitting there?

I'm telling you right now,
like,

I didn't see ronnie
do anything.

Yeah?
Not last night.

Every other night,
I don't really pay attention

To what he does.

There are
so many opportunities

For angelina just to tell sam
the truth.

And then when I saw angelina,
like a scared puppy,

Like, I wasn't even mad.

I was just, like,
"oh, my god,

This girl's so stupid."

I'm allergic to pecans
sometimes.

I know
I want something else.

Yeah,
I want something else.

Moshi moshi.

I feel f*cking bloated now.

I ate too much.

[Burps]

Trying to drive here.

[Gasps]

I'm cranky.

We got cups, forks,
knives.

Today's sunday.

I wanna cook
a little sunday dinner today.

Our first family dinner

Because our last dinner
was pretty much

Sabotaged by snooki

By dropping the chicken
all over the floor.

Chicken, chicken, chicken.

Hello.

[Crashing noises]

[Screams]

Son.

You really screwed
surf and turf night.

Are you kidding me?

That was my sauce?
Yeah.

We're have to use
the marinara.

I know, we have to use
the marinara now.

That was some good a*s sauce.

We're gonna have to use
the marinara.

It's f*cking situation
hostile right now.

It's time to f*cking
now make the sauce

That wasn't really meant
for it.

Really?
Mimosa.

Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.

Oh, my god, oh, my god.

Thought it was gonna
hit me in the face.

You were gonna f*cking
take my eye out with that thing.

Oh, man.

What the...

What do you got,
butter fingers?

Bro, who decided to put
the milk

On top of f*cking...

First of all-
madonna mia!

The can's gotta come
out of the box, you guys.

Holy sh*t.
Takes up less room.

That sauce would have been
good as hell too.

Cheers, everyone.
Love you, b*tches.

Sorry.
Cheers to your meal.

There's been a lot of drama
in our house

So now that we're finally
eating together

At the table as a family
and we've made it this far

Without k*lling each other,

We know that we can get along
for the rest of the time here.

Yo, last night, klutch
was poppin'. For real.

There was a lot of people.

Funniest part was when

Ronnie was dancing with
that blonde girl

And you were, like,
you looked at me like,

"Get her the f*ck
out of here."

Angelina, you know,
she's got diarrhea of the mouth.

And I was like,
"mind your business."

'Cause you know,
I gotta deal with sam,

And then you're gonna
have to deal with me.

Now lookit.

We're like one big
dysfunctional family.

Dysfunctional.

Dysfunctional's good.
[Chuckles]

I think we're all good now.

I checked, and they do have
my green shoes.

So after dinner,
we decided to play

A bowl of questions.

So, like, why not?

Let's put sexy clothes on
and be f*cking dumb asses.

♪ When all my dreams
came true ♪

My makeup.

♪ That's not because
the sun came out to shine ♪

♪ ♪

[Whistles]

How are you doing?

Yo, I swear to god,
that looks like a garbage bag.

Doesn't it?

She's wearing her luggage
from last year.

[Laughter]

f*ck you.

I think victoria should have
kept this one a secret.

All right.
Are we ready?

Who is the president
of the i.f.f.?

Oh, f*ck.

Ron.
Uh...

Ron.
What is that?

Why is ronnie the king
of i.f.f.?

It could be snooki.
Okay.

A little sketchy.
Snooki.

What two guys/girls
would you have a threesome with?

Jenni and vinny.

Let's make that happen.

Snooki and pauly.

Whoa.
Wow.

That's my same combination.
Ron's turn.

[Laughter]

I have to go with sam and-
and vin.

Oh! Schwinger!

Or just me and vin.

I'd like that better.

What the f*ck
is this?

Who wrote this?
What's it say, sam?

Which guy in the house
would take a dump on my chest?

[Laughter]

Have you ever cheated on
your boyfriend or girlfriend?

Ooh...

No. Well, yeah.

What?
I'm single, so...

Everyone's cheated before.

That just made the game
completely awkward.

Ooh.

All right, we'll just
leave that one alone.

You know,
nobody said anything.

It was, like, dead silence
in the whole room.

Like, biggest cheater
and, like...

[Gasps]
ronnie.

And, like,
and nobody said anything.

And she has an idea.
She's not that stupid.

She just doesn't wanna
believe it.

You were not gonna
come out last night.

You decided to come out
and guess what happened?

f*cking sick time.

And then you got yelled at
when you got home.

I did get yelled at.
[Laughs]

It's only a matter of time,
bro.

She sees you hanging out
with me and him.

It's only a matter of time
before she starts

Putting two and two together.

I just want you
to enjoy yourself, though.

Well, I know.
But I'm having a great time.

Yeah, I know you are.

[Laughter]

Ronnie's changed
since last time.

He was definitely like
that kid

That's not gonna
do something wrong to sam.

He had just met sam.

Now he doesn't wanna miss out.

But at the same time,

He doesn't wanna give up
his cookie.

And that's sam.

You need to give up
the cookie, son,

So you can find another one.

I'm eating chocolate chip
cookies every night, dawg.

[Laughter]

[Rock music]

♪ ♪

♪ From your window ♪

♪ You can't see me ♪

This is not making sense
right now.

And I just feel like
he's really just,

He's ruining me.

♪ And I ♪

♪ Got nothing left
to say to you ♪

♪ Girl, we're through ♪

♪ I know
you'd be happier than me ♪

This is gonna get bad
if we do this.

I don't care how drunk
any of us get,

The guys cannot find out
that we wrote it.

I have never seen somebody
so wasted

In my entire life.

[Gasps]

We'll do an hour
at the gym

Between tanning and, uh,
and laundry.

It's definitely a different
look out here in miami.

And, uh, you know, there's a lot
of people out here in shape.

So you need to be
on your tip-top game

With your g.t.l.
To stay f.t.d.

To get the girls to d.t.f.
In m.i.a.

Say that five times.

Okay.

Yes, sir!

Look right here.
Yeah, that felt good.

You wanna do
the pink diner?

We can eat outside.

I'm wearing
my cowboy hat.

How's sam doing?
I haven't talked to her.

Ron's hooking up with girls

And going in bed with sam
at night.

She looks like a fool

'Cause seven people in the house
know except for her.

And we look like assholes.

Nobody agrees with me?

Even if they're not titled
"together,"

He's still doing him

And he's still going in bed
with sam

And kissing her at night
and saying "I love you."

And as a friend,
she deserves to know the truth.

How are you girls?
All right.

What if sam knew that emilio
cheated on you?

How mad would you be at sam?
I know.

I would be f*cking
heartbroken.

I love them both.

I love them both too,
but ron's f*cked either way.

She looks like a fool.
She looks like a fool.

And you know what,
at the end of the day...

Hon, listen.

He made out with two girls
at b.e.d.

He motorboated another girl
at b.e.d.

He got another girl's number
at klutch

After he sent sam home crying.

We need to air it out.

We'll go to a local place

And we'll type
an anonymous letter.

That's a genius idea.

I think
the note's a great idea.

I think the note's
a great idea.

So I don't care how drunk
any of us get,

The guys cannot find out
that we wrote it.

This is gonna get bad
if we do this.

Just imagine
what ron's gonna do.

But he says he loves her.

Would you do that
to someone you love?

He doesn't love her.

So let's just see if
we can find a place

Where we can type
this sh*t out appropriately

And then she knows the truth,
and that's it.

We did our job.

I think that
sam should know,

But personally,
I feel like sam will know

And feel like she'll still
get back with him anyway, so.

I farted.

One of you farted
and it's coming in my nostrils

As I walk behind you.

Somebody farted.

Oops.

We're on, like, a whole,

Whole nother level
of friendship right now.

[Laughs loudly]

We need a good outfit
to fist pump to.

Holy sh*t. Ron?

Is it strong?

[Gags]
[laughs]

It's not that strong.

I wanna see you chug it
right now.

I'll chug this whole-
give me...

I'll funnel this whole thing
right now.

Oh, my god, I'm not
hanging with this guy tonight

If he drinks that whole cup.

Who's on ron watch tonight?

Not me.
Not me.

Don't look at me.
It's all you, pauly.

I got grenade watch
on pauly.

Do you do the same thing
for ron?

Yeah, pauly gives me
the grenade

Every time I go into
the guest room.

Oh, I would never do that.

That's f*cked up.

You just said that
I'd pick up grenades,

Is what you just said.

I did not say that.
Yes, you did.

You said you'd do
the same thing for ron.

Ron and sam are fighting.

Sammi's looking pathetic.
Ronnie's sh1tting all over her.

Everything ronnie does
is gonna hit the fan.

Angelina.
Let's go.

I'm done. Let's go.

[Club music]

♪ ♪

♪ You see me walking in ♪

♪ All eyes on me and him ♪

We go into the club
and, uh, guess what?

Ron and sam
are fighting again.

How much can you fight?

Every day.
sh*t.

I don't wanna go through
the fighting anymore.

It's not worth it
'cause I'm mentally

And physically, like,
worn to the core.

In my head, like,
I wanna move on,

But in my heart, I don't.

Sam, I'm so tired
of seeing you like this.

I was having so much fun.

I know.

I was having so much fun.

And I was having fun-
I can't keep going through this.

Sam and ron are done.

She left me by myself.

The boys left, she left with
the boys and jenni.

Vinny.
Where is this place?

I don't know why

I had to go tell ron
that I was leaving.

I need to just
say something.

Ron.
Go, go, go.

Ron, what the f*ck?
What the f*ck?

♪ You don't belong
near my house ♪

♪ Or anywhere
in these parts of town ♪

♪ In this ♪

Like legit,
at tonight's events,

Like, I'm done.

'Cause, like, literally,
I didn't do anything to the kid.

I'm done.

You didn't do anything
this whole week to the kid.

Word.

And for whatever reason,
you're still with him.

It's okay.
And I'm okay with it.

♪ You can't have 'em
all your way ♪

♪ You can't
have 'em all your way ♪

♪ ♪

Do we have a butter face
flavor or what?

Um, she had summer teeth.

Some are like this,
but some are like that.

All right,
so you wanna be like that?

f*ck you. I'll leave you
in the middle of the street

Chasing the cab.

Ron.

♪ Did you really think
that you were special ♪

♪ Think that
you were gonna be safe ♪

♪ In love ♪

♪ ♪

After that, done.

♪ But never have to feel
the pain of it ♪

How are you?
Good, how are you?

[Upbeat dance music]

♪ ♪

I'm doing my own thing
just hanging out with the girls.

And ron shows up.

And I'm like,
okay, like, why is he here?

Like, what's gonna happen?

♪ ♪

At that point,
I was like,

Okay, maybe he's really
f*cked up right now.

♪ ♪

This kid you can tell
is so, like,

Off the wall, like,
doesn't even know

Who he is right now.

Just relax, okay?
Relax?

[Passes gas]

[Laughs]

[Mumbles]

I'm thinking,
what did I get myself into?

To be honest with you,
I have never seen somebody

So wasted in my entire life.

Okay. Go to sleep, baby.

[Snoring]

Ah!

Oh, my god,
I messed up.

♪ Something died
deep inside of me ♪

♪ And I can see it,
I can see it ♪

♪ ♪

Nicole.
Ah!

What do I do?

Sam.

I don't know what to do.

Just take of him.
That's what I do, right?

Take care of him, yes.

And then they still say
we're not together.

I will take care of him,
but we're not together.

I'm not,
I'm not in it anymore.

No. We're done.
We can't be. I can't.

We're done.

[Laughs]

♪ This time you cannot
run away with me ♪

♪ Just save your pride
and let me go ♪

"Ron made out with two girls

And put his head in between
a c*ck waitress' breasts."

This is gonna be so bad.

Angelina don't know nothing
about ron.

Ron is nasty.

I don't wanna get involved.

But you are involved.
We're all involved.

♪ I dance with the devil
and drink with the demons ♪

♪ That'll sleep with death
and fell short of breath ♪

♪ When you wake up hungover ♪

♪ You wish you were sober ♪

All of sudden,
ronnie has to get up

And go to the bathroom.

And my man is puking
up a storm.

[Retching]

This sh*t is just pouring out
non-stop like the exorcist.

[Retching]

[Flushes toilet]

I have no idea
what's going on.

I'm just happy I woke up
in my own bed today.

[Laughs]

You couldn't even change.

I had to carry you
all night.

Really?
Mm-hmm.

Was that bad?
You were beyond bad.

I don't remember
anything.

I have never experienced
something like that in my life.

I can't explain
me and ron.

Like, I'm hurting,

But I'm happier with ron
than not with ron.

I didn't do anything to you
last night,

And I'm gonna strictly
say that.

You started first.

It's always me to yell.
I'm sick of it.

I still love you.
Still love you.

After last night,
you should get that.

Here, baby.

[Laughs]

Open wide.

We're together
'cause, you know,

She took care of me.

With her, it's make up,
break up, make up, break up

At this point,
and it's just...

Take it day by day.

Blah!
That's what you would do.

[Burps, laughs]

That was a gross one.

[Upbeat music]

♪ Diesel generators
and the smell of candy floss ♪

Welcome to lecka-lecka,

Where vinny scoops
your gelato right.

♪ ♪

I'm a good spooner.
What do you need?

He spoons, I fork.

[Laughter]

You have a beautiful smile.

Do i?
Mm-hmm.

I do. A lot.

When me and pauly work,

We are like an ultimate
tag team.

Like, when I go home

I'm gonna work
in an ice cream parlor

Because that's how
I pick up all the girls.

You gonna go to
the beach?

In the middle of finals?

I'm in miami.

I don't want girls
studying for finals.

I want girls studying
for [bleep].

You guys are volleyball team?

We could do cardio
at my place.

Yeah. All right.
Pauly'll work it off later.

It's all right.

It's okay.

Sorry, miss, there's
no refunds on the gelato.

Oh, okay.

Oh, thank you.
Ooh!

Look at that.
Thank you. Bye-bye.

Do we have a butter face
flavor or what?

Um.
She had summer teeth.

Some are like this,
but some are like that.

Mm-hmm.

Boo boo, you ready?
We gotta get going.

Internet cafe, here we come.

♪ It's too bad we can't
go outside anymore ♪

[Horn honks]
ah!

Jenni, you'll get run over.

Cybr caffe.

♪ We're desperate
get used to it ♪

Shall we do it in pink font?

I know.

"The first night at b.e.d.
When you left crying,

"Ron made out with two girls
and put his head

In between a c*ck
waitress' breasts."

"Boing."

[Laughter]

We say t*ts.
Like, it's not breasts.

So she probably won't even know
it's us, hopefully.

"Also was grinding with
multiple women."

This is gonna be so bad.

Okay.

"Multiple people
in the house know.

Therefore,
you should know the truth."

"Love, snook and jenni."

We just need to
get out of the house.

So I decided to do
a last resort

And go to angelina.

And see if we can actually
hang out

And see if she's cool.

If you're my friend here,

And you ever see f*cking
something going on,

You'd better f*cking tell me.

'Cause if I know you,
you knew about it

And you didn't tell me,
bye.

I won't want nothing
to do with you.

'Cause a true friend-
what about your other girls?

What about your other girls?
What other girls?

Jenni and sam and, uh-
well, that's your name.

Same exact way.

If they knew something
and didn't tell me,

I would never consider them
a close friend to me ever.

Ever.
Really?

Really.
Why are you saying that?

I'm just asking.

I'm just asking how you are
and what you're doing.

I'm exactly the same
f*cking way.

And she kind of, like,
put me on the spot

And I feel like jenni and snooki
are closer to sammi than I am

And I feel like
jenni and snooki

Should have stepped up to
the plate and told her too.

Like, why do I have to be

The one in the house to say it,
you know what I mean?

Like, what, am I gonna be,

Like the drama starter
in this house?

I feel like
you know something right now.

Listen,
I'm not getting involved

In your sh*t,
I don't know anything right now.

If anything happens
in the future, whatever.

If you know about it,

You should come to me
and tell me.

Would you?

Now that we're friends,
yeah.

Now that we're cool, yes.

Good.

I feel angelina was very,
like, honest and real.

And I would definitely
feel betrayed

If everybody knew something
I didn't know.

Mission accomplished.

High five.

It's only halfway
accomplished.

Okay.

You could slip it
in her drawer and we wait.

♪ Kinds of people
who get the lead elsewhere ♪

♪ ♪

You got your laundry?

Laundry's closed.

It's open 24 hours.

Let's go home.

Home.

Mission accomplished.

They're open tomorrow.

Really? It's like that?

Shut down t.g.l.

It's none of our business.

As long as she knows
the truth,

She can handle it
any way she wants.

Sam.

Whoo!
Hey, b*tches.

Hey.
Who's home?

Just us, I guess.
Are you serious?

Where did ron go?
We have no idea, so.

Ask vin.

Vinny. Where's ron?
I don't know.

Probably went somewhere
with mike.

What are you doing?
You're sleeping?

Um, I'm trying to.

No, you can't sleep.

Um...

What?

I feel like, you know,
snooki and jenni

Want to get me involved
in it.

I did say I was gonna do it,
but did I do it?

No, I didn't write it.

So I feel like they want me
to get involved

In, like, the blame.

Where did they go
just now?

You just asked me
four times.

I just told you.
I don't know.

Angelina...

Don't know nothing about ron.

I don't wanna get involved.

But you are involved.

We're all involved.
You know?

I don't trust angelina.

Just, like,
something in my body saying,

"Don't trust this girl."

Honestly, I don't even know
if she's gonna

Keep her mouth shut.

I told ron that
I was gonna tell sam everything.

And he was like,
"if you do that..."

He threatened me-
he goes, "I will tell emilio

That you cheat on him
all the time."

Ron gets nasty.

Now I'm, like, in a bad spot.
We all are.

So it's like-
especially you two...

Because you guys
are her good friends.

I think it would be
in angelina's best interest

Not to tell
who wrote the letter

Because I would probably
do physical damage

Towards angelina
and explain to everyone

How angelina was the one
that told us

About what ron did
at the club.

I'm telling you right now,

If I see one tear
fall from her face again,

We're doing it.
Thank you.

♪ I don't know
what else to say today ♪

♪ I don't know
what to do now ♪