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Hell Hath No Fury (2023)

Comedy Movie Collection.
(Buddy/Dark/Black/Parody/Screwball/Slapstick/Sketch/Satire/Spoof/Mock/Comedians/etc.)
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Comedy Movie Collection.

Hell Hath No Fury (2023)

Post by bunniefuu »

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

[bleeping sound]

In all my years

in all my life, I

have heard many tales of

love and lust and death.

Some I believe to be false,

some I believe to be true.

But there is one story so

unbelievable, so remarkable

that to keep it to myself

would feel as though a crime.

Though the details of the

story's origins are sparse.

No writer of sound

mind could have

written such a tale of

deception and cruelty

without the guiding

hand of reality itself.

Whether you choose to believe

what you hear to be true

is between you and your God.

But I tell it to you now,

just as it was told to me.

[sirens wailing]

[clears throat]

Ain't no way around

it, Stanwyck.

You f*cked up.

Bank robbery, hostages...

We got two dead,

two more in the hospital.

One of them, one of our

own, on life support.

And you send flowers.

Jesus Christ, Stanwyck.

We are the Westburn

County Police Department.

I don't know about to you, but

to me, that means something,

g*dd*mn it.

And if you don't...

Marlene?

Yes, Chief.

Send some flowers to

the Palmers, will you?

Got it.

Anything else?

No, that's all for now.

Thank you, dear.

[slurping coffee]

Lives are at stake, Stanwyck.

And not just your

life, but the lives

of the citizens of

Westburn County,

the lives of your brothers

and sisters in blue.

When the heat is on,

they need to know

that you've got their back.

Hell, I need to know that

you've got their back.

You see that?

Protect and Serve.

As a Westburn County

police officer,

that is the g*dd*mn job.

When the heat is

on, it's up to you.

You have got to take the shot.

You hear me, Stanwyck?

You have got to take the shot.

[jingle bells chimming]

[tense music with jingle bells]

Hello, Thomas.

Hello, Thomas.

Hello, Thomas.

[bell chimming]

Hello, Thomas.

We should do it tonight.

Yes, please.

Not that.

The other thing.

Oh.

That.

It's time.

It's really time.

This is the moment you've

been waiting for, Thomas.

Your chance to rescue me.

Yeah.

Well, if we do it,

then how do we...

Do we do it?

I've got it all worked out.

I'll leave the

solarium door open.

The solar... solar...

The back door.

Oh.

And when he's distracted,

you can sneak in and...

You know.

Then we run away.

And then we run away.

It's that easy.

Please, Thomas.

There's no one else I can trust.

Are we sure that...

I mean, we could just go now.

We could just leave.

We don't have to...

You know.

I just want to be

absolutely sure that this

is what we want to do.

[door opens]

[footsteps approaching]

Today's the day.

[organ music playing]

[music stops]

[door slides]

[doorbell rings]

Howdy, neighbor.

So I was driving down the

street the other night,

and I saw this

tacky light display,

right next to Jerry's place.

Speaking of, did you

hear about Jerry?

Jerry?

Oh, you know Jerry,

with the buck tooth

and the bushy eyebrows.

He works at the car dealership.

He goes on and on about

his stamp collection.

He wears clothes

three sizes too big.

You know, Jerry, down the

street a couple of blocks.

Right, dear?

Yeah.

Yeah, Jerry, just

down the street.

Oh, OK.

Anyway, you know his wife Jean.

The two of them got

into an argument.

That's right.

And I heard that...

Are we holding you up, dear?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

My husband is

coming back tonight,

but not for a couple

of hours, at least.

How is old Silas these days.

Oh, Silas?

He's great.

Yeah, just great.

That's great.

Taking good care

of you, we assume?

Of course, yeah.

He's such a loving

and caring husband.

I'm so lucky to

have him in my life.

We don't mean to pry, but...

Sometimes we hear things.

Hear things?

Yelling.

Yelling?

Lots of yelling.

Oh!

I'm sure I don't know

what you're talking about.

Does Silas have a

bit of a temper?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no.

Everything's wonderful.

We're a match made in heaven.

You know, we're right next

door if you ever need anythi.

[car door shuts]

Is that him?

Oh, it can't be.

I think it's him.

It's him?

[somber music plays]

[footsteps stomping]

Honey, I'm home.

And we have guests.

How wonderful?

Sweetie, you're home early.

Oh, my dear, Priscilla.

How I've missed you so much.

Every moment without you

has felt like an eternity.

I couldn't bear to live

without you any longer.

Oh, I'm so happy.

Hello, Silas.

Andy.

Theo.

I trust I'm not interrupting

anything important.

Not at all.

Perhaps, we should

get going, dear.

Of course.

Oh, sh**t.

I forgot to bring it with us.

What?

That silly postman delivered

some of your mail to us again.

We'll just drop it off

later if that's OK.

Of course.

Have a wonderful night.

Thank you so much.

Oh, and happy holida...

Hello, Darling.

You're early.

I haven't made dinner yet.

Oh, don't worry about all that.

I'll take you out.

Oh, but with you having

been gone so long,

I just want to do

something special for you.

How did I get so lucky?

You must be so tired.

Why don't you watch some TV

while I get dinner started?

A splendid idea.

Here, I'll take this.

Thank you, dear.

He's back early.

Be here in 20 minutes.

[door slides]

[door slides]

Hello, Darling.

Goodness.

Scared me half to death.

What's all this?

Oh, nothing.

I just missed you.

That's all.

OK.

OK.

I need to get dinner going.

Here.

I'll let you know when

everything's ready.

You treat me so well.

[yelling on tv]

[melancholic music]

[tv] Looking for the house,

and he wanted to buy it, mayb.

And then he told me about

his book about his...

[phone ringing]

Honey, your phone's ringing.

Honey, your phone.

Yes, I know, got it.

Thanks.

OK.

Hello.

Hey, it's me, Tom.

Hey, I don't know about this.

It's too late for that, Thomas.

I don't know what's going on,

but he's been acting strange

ever since he got home.

You need to get this over with

before something goes wrong.

It's just that I've never done

anything like this before.

Oh, don't worry.

We got it all worked out.

Yeah.

But I just don't understand...

Fine.

Don't understand.

Let me do the understanding.

Can't we just leave?

How dare you even

think such a thing?

How dare you?

I'm offended.

You are offending me, Thomas.

[tv] I have a friend

on the force, you know,

owes me a few favors.

He can make things

just disappear.

[priscilla's muffled voice]

I'm sorry, Tom.

It's just... I just can't

do this any longer.

I need a knight

in shining armor.

I thought that you would

be the one to save me

from this cold, dark castle.

But I guess maybe...

I guess maybe I was wrong.

Wait a minute.

I'm not saying... wait a minute.

Goodbye forever, Thomas.

No.

Wait.

Priscilla, wait.

Yes, Thomas?

I'll be your knight

in shining armor.

Oh, Thomas.

You are my knight

in shining armor.

Please hurry here soon.

The door is unlocked and open.

[melancholic music]

[silas laughing hysterically]

Chug, chug, chug,

chug, chug, chug, chug.

[music intensifies]

[bar patrons cheering]

Dinner's ready.

OK.

Open your eyes.

Oh, honey, my favorite.

Well.

Well, what?

I slaved over a hot stove.

Are you going to eat?

Oh, yeah.

Of course.

Quite delectable, dear.

Quite delectable, indeed.

What about you?

What?

Aren't you going to eat?

Oh.

Of course.

Say, who was on

the phone earlier?

Oh.

[clears throat] Nobody.

[sighs]

So

Unded kind of heated.

Oh, it was Jean.

Yeah.

You know, she... well, her

husband, you know, they...

They, you know.

Are you OK, dear?

What?

Why do you ask?

Well, I mean, usually, you're

a little more loquacious.

Oh.

I'm just tired, I guess.

Well, let's talk

about something.

I've been gone for a week.

Well, then.

How was your trip?

I don't want to talk about that.

How about that weather?

The weather?

It's cold outside.

It's cold outside.

Yes.

Not really very stimulating

conversation, now is it?

Why not?

It's December.

Well, I'm sorry.

Like I said, I'm tired.

No, no, honey.

I'm sorry.

Damn it all to f*ck!

sh*t, sh1tting f*ck!

sh*t bag ba*ls!

It's OK, dear.

Go f*ck yourself you

f*cking, f*cking shirt!

You b*tch m*therf*cker!

God f*cking damn it!

Damn it!

Damn b*tch!

A whole bucket of f*ck!

Just take a deep breath.

Why don't you go change your

shirt, and I'll get dessert.

f*ck!

f*ck!

[somber music]

[unzipping bag]

What took you so long?

Oh, nothing.

Well, don't you want dessert?

Of course, dear.

But first, I have a

little surprise for you.

Oh.

An early Christmas gift.

Oh, it's beautiful.

[phone ringing]

Ignore that.

What?

Ignore that.

We're busy.

Oh, well, I can't.

It's for work.

Hello?

Hey, sorry to bother you.

What happened with the door?

Oh, well.

I don't know

anything about that.

Well, can you open it?

It's pretty cold out here.

Of course, it's cold outside.

It's December.

Oh, well.

Yeah, thanks for calling.

Yeah, I guess I'll see

you at work on Monday.

OK.

Goodbye.

Who was that?

Oh, just some guy from work

asking about something.

Th

Anks for the necklace.

I think I'll go put

it on right now.

[door slides]

It was too close.

What if he'd seen me?

I'm sorry, okay?

What the f*ck?

What?

Who is that?

I sort of brought someone.

What?

Well, he's got experience

with, you know.

Who is he?

His name is Carl.

He's a pretty cool guy

once you get to know him.

g*dd*mn it, Thomas.

Yeah.

Hey, we cool?

Hey.

Carl.

Carl?

Just Carl.

Listen, honey.

You don't got to

worry about anything.

I'm really good at

this sort of thing.

What sort of thing is

that, Carl, just Carl?

You know.

Just make sure it gets done.

Shiiit.

Priscilla, honey?

Yes, dear.

Where's the necklace?

What?

The necklace?

Oh.

Ah.

Sorry, I was looking

at your shirt

to make sure it

didn't get stained.

Yeah.

I must've got distracted.

I'll go put it on right now.

Come in.

[loud thud]

There's a step there.

Where do you want us?

[door slides]

The closet.

I'll get him to come in

here, and then you can...

You know.

Oh, I know.

Hey, don't worry.

I'm really good at

this sort of thing.

[tense music]

She's kinda hot.

What's her story?

[somber music]

Well, hello.

Hello yourself, big guy.

How's the necklace?

Wonderful.

I love it.

What's gotten into you?

Oh, nothing.

Just love.

What's this?

Love.

You want to hear something?

To once love yet rendered

yonder, thoust thee cry out

thine billowing sigh.

What is that?

It's a poem.

You write poetry?

Yeah.

Huh.

What does it mean?

Just makes me feel something.

Cool.

Yeah, it's cool.

Ummm.

I'm worried about Priscilla.

What's taking so long?

It's only been a

couple of minutes.

I don't like it.

What are you doing?

Come on.

[dance music]

To once love yet

rendered yonder,

Thoust thee cry out

thine billowing sigh.

What?

Twas nothing so sweet as thine

sight of two young lovers...

in love.

Oh, h*.

Chills!

I gotta write that sh*t down.

What are you talking about?

They go well together, man.

What?

No, no.

No.

No, he's not that bad of a guy.

No, no.

Come on.

We need to go back.

Let's go back.

I'm going to tell you the truth.

He's a nice guy.

And you're a nice guy.

What stops Priscilla from doing

the same damn thing to you?

Oh, damn.

Thoust sorrow be

still thine aching...

Shut up.

Let's go back.

Maybe we should take

it to the bedroom.

I like the way you think.

I have a surprise for you.

A sexy surprise?

Just close your eyes, Silas,

and all will be revealed.

[suspenseful music]

Don't worry.

I'm really good at this.

[suspenseful music]

[music stops]

[dramatic music]

[silas and carl grunting]

[someone falling]

Silas!

Call the police.

Are you hurt?

No, no, no.

I got him.

You got him?

Yeah.

Oh, my god!

I'll call the police.

No!

What?

No.

You need rest.

I'll call the police.

Are you sure?

Yeah, of course.

Go get yourself cleaned off.

I'll take care of this.

[muffled screaming]

[muffled screaming]

[muffled screaming]

Oh, two m*therf*cking shirts

in one m*therf*cking night.

Gotta get them on sale...

You want to come at me?

I don't care who

the f*ck you are!

I will take your

m*therf*cking a*s out.

Out!

Who was that guy?

Who would want to k*ll me?

Oh!

[clears throat]

Silas, wait.

Silas.

What is it, dear?

Oh,

Oh, nothing.

Did you call the police?

Priscilla?

Oh, yes.

The police.

Yes, I called them.

They said that they

were on their way.

They're on their way?

Uh-huh.

Right now?

Yes.

Oh, yes.

On their way.

That's good because when

the police get here,

they can figure

all this mess out.

Yeah.

Why don't you go sit in the

dining room and wait for them.

What about you?

I'll be there in a second.

Let's do it tonight.

Not that.

The other thing.

Tom?

[trips over dead body]

[door slides]

Hey.

Jesus!

What the hell!

What are you doing down there?

Hiding.

How did you get there?

When you guys left, I

was trying to sneak out,

but then I heard Silas

coming, so I jumped down here.

What are we going to do now?

I don't know.

I can't believe you

called the police.

I didn't call the police.

What the hell happened?

Why didn't you... you know?

Well, Carl went out

there with the knife,

but then Silas heard.

I thought he was

really good at this.

I mean, he said he was.

Why didn't you help him?

Huh?

Why didn't you

help Carl, Thomas?

Oh.

The knife, and it was big.

And Silas, he...

Come on.

Honey?

Yes, dear?

What are you doing in there?

Oh. Ah.

Nothing.

Get out when you can.

Honey, you don't

need to be in here.

You could contaminate the

crime scene, or whatever.

Oh, honey.

I feel so foolish.

And why is that, dear?

Well, it was warm

in here last night,

and I unlocked

the solarium door.

I fear that I must

have forgotten

to lock it this morning.

And that's probably how

this, this monster got in here.

The door?

Really?

Yes, the door.

Oh, Silas.

I feel so terrible.

How very strange?

I locked the door

just this afternoon.

What?

Yeah.

I noticed it was open, so I went

to it, closed it, locked it.

Huh, I guess that means...

Well, it's gotta mean.

It's not your fault!

Huh?

Yeah.

He must have gotten

in another way.

That's the only explanation.

Oh, honey.

It's OK.

I know that you would never

knowingly put me in harm's wa.

[doorbell rings]

What the f*ck?

Is that the police?

Oh, huh?

Damn it.

Howdy, neighbors!

Gentlemen.

We're just dropping off the mail

that the postman accidentally

delivered.

Oh, fine.

Thanks.

The mail!

Is everything OK?

Of course!

Well, we really should

get back to dinner.

Are you sure?

We thought we heard something...

Something?

Something.

Well, everything is fine.

Yes, it's marvelous.

Is that blood?

Blood?

No, that's nothing.

Is it your blood?

My blood?

No, that's... well, it's...

That is...

Spaghetti sauce.

Spaghetti sauce?

Spaghetti sauce!

Yes, of course!

I made spaghetti.

He loves it.

I do!

It looks like blood to me!

Nope, it's sauce.

Definitely sauce.

Definitely sauce?

Definitely.

I must have spilled

some on myself.

Silly me!

So everything's fine?

Oh, yes!

Totally fine.

I'm fine!

He's fine!

Everything is fine!

OK.

Well, we're right next door.

If you need anything,

so don't hesitate to...

Honey, let's get back

to the spaghetti.

It's getting cold!

Thanks for bringing... woo...

We have the mail.

Of course.

Happy holi...

[door slams]

Oh.

That really looked like blood.

Girl.

I bet she doesn't even

make her own sauce.

Oh!

f*cking busybodies.

Don't they have anything

better going on?

They're always over here asking

their stupid f*cking questions.

What do they think

is happening here?

Right.

Get f*cking life, assholes!

So that wasn't the police.

It wasn't.

But you did call the police?

Oh, yes, of course.

And what did they have to say?

Who?

The police, who you called.

Oh, they said that

they were on their way.

Anything else?

Oh, well, I...

Because it seems like they

should be here by now.

Who?

The police.

Oh.

We've got an active f*cking

crime scene in our bedroom,

and they don't have the

decency to send somebody over

right away?

I mean, our taxes

pay their bills!

I'm sure they're on their way.

There's a lot of tax money,

and it's going to waste!

I called them not that long ago.

Our f*cking tax money!

I think we should just

wait a little bit longer.

f*ck it.

I'm calling the police!

Again!

No, honey, don't do that!

They left me no choice!

[suspenseful music]

[door slides]

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Damn it, Thomas.

What are you still doing here?

Well, I tried to

leave, but then...

I could have sworn that I...

You are making this

very difficult, Thomas.

Very difficult, indeed.

I'm sorry.

It's just that I heard that...

Silas is calling the

police right now.

We're running out of time.

The police?!

You can still fix this.

I don't know, Priscilla.

If he's calling the police,

I'm not sure that's fixable.

Thomas, you're not thinking

of abandoning me, are you?

What?

No, no.

Of course, not.

- I wouldn't

- Good

Hey, Priscilla.

What?

Well, he doesn't seem

like such a bad guy.

What?

It's just that we saw

you guys dancing earlier,

and he doesn't seem so bad.

What are you talking about?

I'm just saying, do

we really need to...

You know?

Get your head in

the game, Thomas.

What do you think

this is, a game?!

Come on!

Stupid m*therf*cker,

f*cking die!

Die!

Die!

Piece of sh*t!

f*cking die!

m*therf*cking, f*cking sh*t!

f*ck!

f*ck!

f*ck!

f*cking die goddammit!

f*cking sh*t!

[huffs and pants]

I'll call you in a

few minutes, Thomas.

We'll figure out where

to go from there.

Wait for my call.

I will.

I love you...

What were you doing back there?

Oh.

Nothing.

Nothing?

Nothing.

Seems like an odd place

to be doing nothing.

What did they say?

Who?

The police.

Oh, yes, of course.

The police who I

called just now.

What did they say?

Who?

The police.

Oh, you know, police stuff.

Police stuff.

Yeah.

Said they'd be here, and they'd

take care of it, and all that.

Sounds like we're in good hands.

That's right.

The boys downtown they're

really good with all the...

Police stuff?

Police stuff.

So they are on their way?

That's right.

The police are on their way.

I guess all of this will

be over very, very soon.

I guess so.

I guess so.

[melancholic music]

[grunts]

There's a step there.

Yeah.

Wait a minute.

So, who are you?

Uhhh.

Who is that?

Uhhh.

[clock ticking]

It seems like it's been a while.

Police should have

made it here by now.

Odd, isn't it, especially since

you called them so long ago?

And you called them as well.

Yes.

We both called them.

Therefore, they

should be here by now.

Agreed.

Perhaps you should

call them again.

Perhaps?

Pe

Rhaps.

Maybe I will call them again.

I hope you do.

Then I shall.

Ah.

What is it, my dear?

Perhaps you should

call them from in here.

Perhaps?

Perhaps.

[phone ringing]

Something wrong, my love?

No, no.

Everything's fine.

No answer?

How very strange.

Must be a busy night.

Oh, yes.

I'm sure that's it.

A very busy night.

A busy night for crime.

Oh, dear.

I fear I may have

left the oven on.

Is that so?

It is so.

Perhaps I should go

check on that right now.

Perhaps?

Perhaps.

We wouldn't want anything

else to go wrong tonight.

Agreed.

[tense music with jingle bells]

Hey, it's me, Lily.

You know what to do.

[voicemail machine beeps]

Where the hell are you?

Answer your phone!

[soft music]

Oh, honey.

I know just what we

need to calm us down.

Wine!

[suspenseful music]

What's wrong, dear?

Oh, nothing.

I must warn you.

I put a little something

extra in yours, love.

Ha. ha. ha.

Ah yes, of course.

Shall we toast?

To what?

To our good health.

To our good health.

[glasses clink]

[tense music]

I can't do it.

I just can't.

Silas.

How can a man drink

at a time like this?

Oh, dear.

What's wrong?

What's wrong, you ask?

There's a dead man in

the bedroom, and I...

I m*rder*d him!

I'm a monster!

No, don't say that!

It's not your fault.

I've done what God forbade.

Thou shalt not k*ll.

It's in the Bible and

everything, Priscilla!

But it was self-defense,

I mean, you had no choice!

You can't be held

accountable to that.

Oh, perhaps, you're right.

Perhaps, perhaps I'm just

frazzled from all the frenzy

of tonight's events.

Of course, who wouldn't be?

I just, I just need to relax.

Yes, that's it.

Relax!

To our good health!

To our good...

[glasses clink]

What's wrong, my love?

Seems my nerves are acting up.

Oh, well, surely, one

little drink of wine

will help put you at ease.

No.

No, no, no.

I don't think I should.

Now, now, dear.

The wine was your idea.

Don't make me drink

alone, not tonight.

Come on, dear.

Like you said, to

our good health.

[intense music]

Enough!

- Thomas

- Lily

Who are you?

Who's that?

Don't just stand there.

- k*ll him!

- k*ll her

Priscilla, this is Lily.

Silas, this is Tom.

Who's Tom?

Who's Lily?

For too long, we've been hiding

behind each of your backs

gallivanting as the

other's mistress.

And mister-ess.

Granted we knew what we

were doing was wrong,

but we were blinded

by our endless pursuit

to know love, to know

what it is to be loved,

and foolishly we sought it from

the despicable likes of you

two.

Yeah!

But on this day, on this day

when you crossed the line

of infidelity into the

dark corridors of m*rder,

a shadowy path from

which you cannot return,

Tom and I found each other.

Yeah, just a few minutes ago!

We spoke of our misdeeds.

We spoke of our foolish devotion

to your manipulative passions.

And it was at that moment

that we decided, no more.

No

More?

No more!

[fist pounds desk]

We will no longer be the

pawns in your foolish games.

[knife thrown on table]

Also, we're in love!

[kissing sounds]

[kissing sounds]

Thomas!

No!

No!

No!

No, Thomas, don't do this.

What we have is special.

You can't just walk

away from that.

I need you.

You're the only one for me.

Tommy, don't let this

heat-of-the-moment decision

take you away from all that.

Think of all the good things

we could have together.

All the fun times we can have.

But we'll never have any of it...

If you walk out of

here with that little...

- b*tch!

- b*stard!

[foot steps]

Goodbye.

Forever.

[intense music]

[knife stabbing body]

[knife drops to floor]

Lilly!

Tom...

Yes, my love.

Although my actions and

pursuits led to my time

on this Earth being

violently cut short,

I don't regret a single thing

because it led me to you.

No, Lily hold on!

Tom, tell me once more

what you said back there,

the moment we fell in love.

To once love yet rendered

yonder, thoust thee cry

out thine billowing sigh.

Twas nothing so

sweet as thine sight

of two young lovers in love.

No, no, no, no!

Lily, hold on!

Don't go!

My God...

You.

Now hold on.

Just wait a minute.

You did this to her!

Hold on a minute.

I didn't mean to...

How could you, Silas?

That beautiful young girl,

so much life left in her.

OK.

Calm, calm down.

Calm down, everybody!

Let's talk about this.

I understand you're upset...

I'll k*ll you!

Yes, good idea, Thomas!

[intense music]

[priscilla screams]

I knew something was

going on over there.

Oh, Silas.

That son of a b*tch.

f*cking worthless sack of sh*t.

Yes.

I'd like to report

a disturbance.

- This is your fault!

- This is your fault!

So young.

So innocent.

You're the one that k*lled her!

Don't you dare say that.

It was an accident,

and you know it!

Oh, yeah.

Well, try telling

that to the cops.

Oh, yeah, sure.

The cops, who you

called over an hour ago,

and they're on

their way right now.

Oh, don't give me that sh*t.

You didn't call them, either.

Of course, not.

That would've ruined everything.

I can't believe you

were trying to k*ll me.

You were trying to k*ll me!

Of course, I was!

You left me no choice!

What's that supposed to mean?

I gave you everything!

Day after day after day, I was

devoted to you and your needs.

And you never gave me

anything in return!

My needs?

What about your needs?

What about 'em?

Every day you come

home complaining

about work or this or that

or anything and everything!

It was always up to me to

put you in a good mood.

Always up to me to

make things right!

But never once did you

provide the same for me!

Well hell hath no fury

like a woman scorned!

More like hell hath no

idiocy like a dumbass

being a whiny little b*tch!

So what was your plan?

Were you gonna run

off with this guy?

Well, he was kind and loyal.

And a moron.

You're the moron!

Look, who you were

planning to run off with!

What about her?

What about her?

Just look at her!

Well...

What about the dead

guy in the bedroom?

Who was that guy?

Oh, Carl.

Carl?

Carl, who?

Carl, just Carl.

I don't know I just met the guy!

Did you love him?

Carl?

No, not Carl!

This guy, the guy on

the floor right here!

Oh, Thomas.

Did you love him?

Oh, well, I...

You were going to m*rder me, and

then run off with this f*cking

dork, and you didn't

even love him?!

Did you love her?

Well, our relationship was

about more than labels.

A-ha!

A-ha, what?

A-ha, you were going to use

her up and toss her aside.

That is not true.

It was not like that.

Take advantage of her

loyalty, drain her

of all life with

your constant moaning

and groaning about your

pitiful meaningless existence.

And just when there's

almost nothing left of her,

you find some new poor

soul to take her place,

just like you did to me.

And the cycle continues.

That is not fair, I loved you!

You never loved me!

I now see what I should

have seen years ago.

You don't respect me.

I'm not a human being to you.

I'm a prop or a toy to be

played with until it breaks.

Well, guess what, bucko?

This toy is broken and is

through with your sh*t!

Priscilla!

Let me guess, was this

necklace a part of your plan?

Was it filled with poison?

Or were you just going

to strangle me with it?

Now wait a minute!

You can call me names.

You can curse me to

the high heavens!

But I will not sit here and

be accused of such treachery!

I bought this necklace

for you because I love you

and I wanted to give

it to you, g*dd*mn it!

What?

From the first day we

met, I've lived in fear,

fear that no matter what I did,

no matter how hard I tried,

that this day would surely come!

What does that mean?

What day would come?

The day, the day you left me.

On the day we met,

a seed was planted

in my brain, a seed of fear.

And as the years

went on, that seed,

it grew, and it grew, and

it grew until it poisoned

my actions and my thoughts.

And the more it infected me, the

more self-destructive I became.

Perhaps if I could

control it, perhaps

if I could see it coming, then

perhaps it wouldn't be so hard.

Oh, Silas.

I had no idea.

And now that seed of

fear has blossomed

into whatever this is.

Look at us.

Look at the mess we've made.

And yet,

the thing I fear the most is,

is losing you.

Perhaps we overreacted.

Perhaps?

Perhaps.

This may sound crazy.

But is it, is it too

late to try again?

Is it too late to

make things right?

Would that be wrong, Priscilla,

to give it one more chance?

Would that be,

would that be crazy?

It'd only be crazy

if we didn't try.

Oh, honey!

[g*nsh*t]

[priscilla squeaking]

[priscilla squeaking]

Oh, sh*t.

Hell yeah!

Ma'am, are you OK?

[police sirens in the distance]

Whoa, what happened here?

Oh, it's going to be OK, ma'am.

Everything's,

everything's over now.

You're going to be fine.

I have people on their way

let's just sit ya down.

Come on.

[sirens wailing]

OK, now you stay right here.

Help is on the way.

[priscilla crying]

[melancholic music]

To our good health.

f*ck!

[dramatic music playing]

[happy music playing]

[sleigh bells chimming]

[somber music]