Cryptids (2023)

[bunniefuu]

[woman screaming]

[radio static]

[announcer 1]

You're listening to WQRK,

your home for easy listening.

[groovy synth music playing]

[announcer 2] And welcome

to the scary part of the day,

when all manner

of ghosts and ghouls

take over our airwaves.

It's time

for everybody's favorite,

the Truth Serum.

[laughs]

[uneasy music playing]

[Harlan] Good evening,

ladies and gentlemen

and others, and welcome

to our program.

I'm your host from the

Edge of the Unknown,

Major Harlan Dean,

and I'm about to inject you

with a little bit of

the Truth Serum.

As many of you may already know,

today marks the beginning of

the annual Moth Man Festival

in Point Pleasant,

West Virginia.

And to commemorate

this wonderful event,

I've elected to dedicate

this entire show

to the theme of cryptozoology.

I guess for a lack of grace,

we're talking about

monsters tonight, everybody.

Tonight, however, every call,

every piece of information

will be dedicated solely

to these entities

we refer to as...

[rock music playing]

[Harlan] Now,

folks, let me first

start out this broadcast

by thanking each and every

one of you for joining me

on what is sure to be

an exceptional episode.

And also give a shout out

to my faithful engineer

and friend Brandon Bump.

The thing that goes

bump in the night,

day in and day out,

this man keeps us running

with nary any hiccups

and never complains.

Never complains.

Not on the air, anyways.

So if you wouldn't mind,

Mr. Bump,

let some things

go bump in the night

and welcome to Truth Serum.

You're our first caller

of the evening, Lana.

[Lana] Hello Harlan.

Uh, thanks for taking my call.

I am actually a registered

psychiatric nurse,

and I work as a caretaker

in my patient's home

somewhere in the

Eastern States area.

There's only so much

information that I'm willing

or able to divulge.

I-- I hope you understand.

[Harlan] Oh, Lana,

I completely understand

and I want to assure you

that you're in good hands

and your protection is of

the utmost importance to me.

Thank you, sir.

I really appreciate your

understanding because,

I really want you to hear

this story I have to tell you.

Have you ever heard of

something called a melon head?

-[uneasy music playing]

-[crickets chirping]

[Craig] Hey, how you doing?

-[sighs] Extremely nervous.

-[gentle music playing]

How about you?

You holding up okay?

[smooches]

You know, there's no shame

in postponing this campfire

for another night.

-[sighs]

-I think you coming this far

is a huge positive step

in the right direction.

Aww.

That's so sweet of you trying to

defend me and my shortcomings.

Well, I really wouldn't call

being afraid of the dark

exactly a shortcoming.

There are way more ridiculous

fears to have than that one.

Like the fear of buttons.

The f*ck is that sh*t all about?

Is that a fact?

[gentle music continues]

-[uneasy music playing]

-[match strikes]

-[eerie howling]

-[insects chirping]

Yeah, great.

That's gonna help a lot.

Come on, you're doing great.

Don't let that

mess up your game face.

You got this.

Yeah, here's to the chick

with the big ba*ls. Salute.

Thanks, guys. But we're not

exactly out of the woods yet,

and I still have

like seven hours

before we can call this

a complete success.

Hey, take the compliments

where you can because...

we might not be

so forgiving in the morning.

[Jeremy scoffs]

My thoughts exactly.

I mean, who's to say we'll even

make it till morning anyways.

We are in the Grinning Man's

territory after all.

Hey, you cut that sh*t out

right now, man.

Oh, my God,

what the f*ck, Jeremy?

Oh, hey guys, it's a joke.

I was kidding.

Oh yeah? Well, guess what?

It wasn't funny.

What is wrong with you?

Are you trying to f*ck this up?

Oh, Jesus Christ, guys,

will you just relax?

It was just a joke, okay?

Heather, I'm sorry.

There's no such thing

as the Grinning Man.

The melon heads are

a different story, though.

Shut up!

[Craig] You can't

be this stupid. You can't.

Guys, calm down.

All right, just chill out.

Sit your a*s down.

I oughta nut punch you

in your sleep.

-Okay, that was excessive.

-Olivia, it's okay. I'm fine.

-He's not gonna get to me.

-Heather, don't, okay?

You don't need to be

hearing this sh*t right now.

Agreed. Let's all just

try to have a nice,

relaxing, scare-free night.

How's that sound, huh?

-[uneasy music playing]

-[crickets chirping]

Yeah.

I think we'd all be

much better off

-with a little bit of this.

-[buttons tapping]

[electronic music playing]

You too. Up and pay the piper.

[sighs] God, I hate

this f*cking song.

[electronic music continues]

This is much better.

Is it?

[electronic music continues]

You're so fine

That's why I know I've got to

Keep myself in line

We've gotta take

Things slow

'Cause there is so much more

I've gotta get to know

[uneasy music playing]

[dramatic sting]

-[crickets chirping]

-[forest animals calling]

-[crickets chirping]

-[man snoring]

-[crickets chirping]

-[forest animals calling]

[uneasy music playing]

[tense music playing]

[breathes heavily]

[clears throat]

Jesus Christ, Jeremy.

What the hell are you doing

out here?

You're asking me? Seriously?

I heard something out here

a little bit ago, okay?

I just... I needed

a little extra comfort

to get me through the rest

of the night. That's all.

Oh, yeah, you're gonna hear

something out here, Heather.

We're out in the

middle of the woods.

No, what I heard wasn't normal.

Didn't sound like

an animal either.

It was like a person,

yelling or calling out.

-Something like that.

-Hmm, spooky.

I'm done with this, goodnight.

I believe that

you heard something.

I didn't hear

what it was per se,

but I believe that you did.

So, what do you think it was?

[insects chirping]

Come on,

what do you think it was?

Melon head?

Oh, so we're back

to this again, are we?

I wanna know about them.

What are they?

All right. But me

telling you this story,

stays between us. You got that?

I swear I won't say anything.

As far as I know,

the melon heads are

some sort of genetic mutation

created by some f*cked up doctor

that ran a private clinic,

somewhere around these woods.

It was a place

where unwanted children

were taken by their parents.

Kids with deformities,

especially water on the

brain syndrome, but

helping them and taking care

of the kids wasn't really

what the doc had in mind.

No, he saw this as a way

to do his own f*cked up work

that was more doctor

death-like than anything,

if you know what I'm saying.

He liked to perform

twisted experiments on them,

like injecting more food

into their already swollen heads

just to see

how much they could take.

And sometimes he would

just keep on going, and going,

and going until they

would just burst.

That's disgusting.

-Yeah.

-[uneasy music continues]

But the doc eventually got

what was coming to him.

[screaming]

[Jeremy] One night,

all of his patients

got the best of him.

They ripped him to pieces

with their bare hands and teeth,

and they burned

the facility to the ground

and escaped out

into these woods.

And they formed

their own sort of tribe, really.

They mated with each other

and with their kids too.

Supposedly they're out there

stealing what they can

to survive.

Always looking for fresh blood.

-The end.

-[sighs]

I, uh... [clears throat]

...guess I should have

passed on that one.

-Ugh.

-[Jeremy] Hey, it's all right.

I mean, hell, it's just

a bullshit urban legend.

You're safe here with us.

Safe with me, anyways.

Jeremy, what the f*ck

are you doing?

I'm just trying to

give you options, Heather.

-That's all.

-[Heather] Options?

What's wrong with you?

Olivia and Craig

are right over there.

-Are you crazy?

-Oh, come on, Heather.

Hey, look, I'm sorry, all right?

You know me.

I'm just all f*cked up.

-I'll just go sleep it off.

-[Heather] Shut up, Jeremy.

Stay the hell away from me,

you son of a b*tch.

-Yeah?

-[Heather] Olivia.

-[gasps]

-[flesh squelching]

[tense music playing]

[growls]

[gasps]

[Heather groans]

Heather!

-[monster snarls, grunts]

-[Heather groans]

[screams]

-[snarls]

-[groans]

[groans]

[yells, grunts]

[tense music playing]

[breathes heavily]

[shakily] Craig.

[tense music continues]

[growls]

[loud roaring]

[tense music continues]

[Heather whimpers]

[gasps]

[uneasy music playing]

[door creaks]

[melon head snarls]

[glass smashes]

[melon head snarls]

[uneasy music continues]

[panicked breathing]

-[gasps]

-[dramatic sting]

Craig.

[music turns dramatic]

[melon head snarls]

-[roars]

-[screams] No!

[roars]

[heart thumping]

[melon head groans]

[heart continues thumping]

-[gentle music playing]

-[birds chirping]

[crows cawing]

[uneasy music playing]

It's so dark.

No.

No.

No.

[sobs] No.

No. No.

No. No.

[screams] No!

No!

That's awful.

I'm sorry to hear your patient

was subjected to that ordeal.

She still, to this day,

wakes up screaming

saying that she can see them

moving around in the dark.

Do you believe it?

Should I believe it?

Yes, Lana, do just that.

Believe her.

And always remember,

she may be blind from

a medical standpoint,

but as far as I'm concerned,

that young woman has more sight

than most people

in the world today

because she knows the truth.

It's a shame it came

at such a cost.

Lana, thanks for your call.

-[uneasy music playing]

-[sighs]

Wow, so that was

a good start. Um...

Let's take some more.

Let's keep this train on track.

Uh... Next caller,

you're on the air.

And I-- And I see

that you would like

to remain anonymous

and we can certainly

do that for you.

Could you at least tell us

where you're calling from,

caller?

[anonymous caller, warped]

Hi, yes. I was a park ranger

in the Northern Cascade Range.

Oh, beautiful country out there.

[anonymous caller]

And dangerous.

I did specialize

in search and rescue.

I've spent weeks looking

for experienced campers

who've gotten lost.

[Harlan] Is there

something wrong with your phone?

Or are you doing that?

[anonymous caller] Um,

I am doing that, Mr. Dean.

My story is about

one such mission I went on

with a relatively new partner.

A group of campers had gotten

lost back in the wilds.

Now, they had been missing

for about six days.

Each night in the forest

reduced their chances

of coming out alive.

[uneasy music playing]

[breathes heavily]

-You came.

-Ma'am. Ma'am.

-You came. Good.

-Are you okay?

I'm James. This is Steven.

We're gonna need you to

answer the questions, okay?

-We're here to help you.

-[camper] Okay. Good.

[James] We're gonna try

to stand you up, okay?

[Steven] Let me get her back.

[James] We're gonna

lift you up, okay?

I can't walk.

[Steven] Gently, gently, gently.

-I can't walk.

-[Steven] It's okay, it's okay.

Okay, something might be broken.

-[camper] He did this to me.

-Holy f*ck.

[camper] He did this to me.

-[Steven] Hey, it's okay.

-No, no, no!

[Steven]

They caught-- It's okay.

You have to sit--

We need to calm her down.

-[James] Hey. Easy.

-Hey, hey, hey.

[uneasy music playing]

[mysterious,

eerie music playing]

[Steven] Well, she's about

as stable as can be expected.

My guess,

I'll just leave the question.

-Who is he?

-I don't know.

See, that's f*cking my point.

We don't know who he is,

but you saw exactly

what he did to her.

I know. Who would

do that to a woman?

James, she was r*ped.

Horrifically.

Don't delude yourself

on that fact.

I think we should

get some shut eye.

We can take turns taking watch.

-[owl hooting]

-Yeah, you're right.

You know what,

I'll take first watch.

I'm still keyed up.

[uneasy music continues]

[fire crackling]

Hey, Steve, you got

that holster unsnapped?

Yeah.

Do me a favor

and go sh**t that f*cking bird.

Uh, sounds like

there's more than one.

-[birds calling]

-[fire crackling]

Noisy f*cking sparrow.

No, but you don't understand,

that is weird.

I don't hear anything.

No cicadas, no--

no night owls, no tree frogs.

Nothing. Just those

morning callers.

[birds continue singing]

[branches snapping]

[Steven] What was that?

[uneasy music playing]

[g*ns c*ck]

-[birds calling]

-[uneasy music continues]

[dramatic sting]

-[g*nshots]

-[creature screams]

[creature screams]

[tense music playing]

-Steven!

-sh*t, James.

-What the f*ck was that?

-I shot him.

Him? Him?

-Yeah, f*cking him.

-Where?

Uh, over there.

Let's go, come on.

[fire crackling]

[creature growls]

[camper screams]

[Steven] g*dd*mn it.

No.

f*ck, James there's

more than one.

Let's pack this sh*t up.

Come on, man, we can at least

go get that blood trail.

[Steven] Yeah, f*ck.

[mysterious music playing]

[grunts]

[mysterious music continues]

[groans]

Oh, man, what the f*ck?

Do you think it's

where they come and die?

It's like it's some

sort of elephant graveyard.

[creature breathing heavily]

[g*ns c*ck]

[uneasy music continues]

[g*nshots]

-[footsteps approaching]

-[leaves crunching]

[creatures growl]

[birds chirping]

[creatures growl]

-[tense music playing]

-[creatures growl]

[screams]

-[g*nshots]

-[creature screams]

-[tense music playing]

-[g*nshots firing]

[Steven] James, over there.

There's a way out.

-[g*nshots]

-[creature growls]

-[tense music playing]

-[g*nshots]

[creature growls]

-[Steven screams]

-[flesh ripping]

[Steven] James.

[groans] Help me.

[slow tense music playing]

[flesh ripping]

[creatures growl]

[blood dripping]

[birds chirping]

[leaves rustling]

[crow cawing]

[James] I can't believe

I found you.

Gonna get you out

of there, though.

-Won't make it.

-[James] Easy.

-[camper groans]

-[James] Easy.

I'm sorry you found me.

-Can you...?

-Sorry.

-Can you move, walk, anything?

-I'm sorry you found me.

[camper] No.

[crow cawing]

No.

Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that you found me.

I won't make it.

[uneasy music playing]

Please.

-[heart beating]

-[inaudible]

[g*nsh*t]

[anonymous caller]

I walked for quite some time,

and as far as the girl?

I never did come

across her again either.

-[line disconnects]

-Uh, hello?

Caller?

Well I guess he was done

with that story. Um...

So moving on,

we'll just take our next call.

Uh, hopefully a little

less dark this time.

I see we have another

mystery caller here named...

uh, Mr. Cold.

Oh, okay, Mr. Cold, you are on.

Go ahead and entertain us.

-[Mr. Cold] Harlan.

-[radio static]

[Harlan] Caller, please.

Can you turn your radio down,

or are you calling

from a vehicle?

[Mr. Cold]

Stop what you are doing.

Stop helping them.

-[radio static]

-[Harlan] Woah!

-Bump, what was that?

-I have no idea.

There are no storms in the area.

Well, we'll keep on that

and try to make sure

it doesn't happen again.

I'm dumping this call.

Send me another one.

All right, I'm sorry

again everybody,

there must be a full moon out

tonight or something.

We're getting a few oddballs

and I apologize. [chuckles]

I believe we're talking

to Joe from Ohio.

Hey, yes. Sir. Harlan...

[grunts] ...I love your show.

Hello Buckeye Joe...

[chuckles] ...and thank you.

So tell me a story, my friend.

That's why we're here.

Oh, yeah, sorry.

Um, I'll get right to it.

So there's been a story,

it's been passed around

right here at our

local bar, Gimlins,

for like a few years now

and it is really weird.

[Harlan] I love it already, Joe.

The weirder the better.

[Joe] Okay, uh,

well here it goes.

[lively music playing]

-[water rippling]

-[frogs croaking]

[frog croaking]

[man] Y'all see that?

Fish ain't biting.

[lively music continues]

I am truly sorry Marsha,

but I'm gonna have

to cut the tutelage

of your husband short for today.

[groans] I almost got it on.

g*dd*mn it, Gordon,

you ain't got that

tied on there yet?

As I said, I do apologize,

and I would gladly offer you

a discount on your next outing.

Brigadier First Hand Colonel

Oren P. Brundleman the Third,

Chief Explorer

and Cryptozoologer?

[Oren] No. Flip that over.

[Marsha] Oh.

[zip zipping]

This side came from

a champion of a man.

Fantastic Dan,

King of Cannons.

This side I found on

a highway cleanup crew

-outside of Lubbock, '97.

-Is that blood?

[Oren]

When you pursue the unknown,

you need a specialized

adventure suit.

One that provides flexibility...

protects you...

and breathability.

[sniffs, groans]

[lively music playing]

Welcome to my vessel

of discovery.

This won't take long,

but if it does,

there's hooch and bug spray

under the life vest.

[lively music continues]

Oren!

-Gordon.

-Marsha.

[Oren] Marsha.

Ugh. [spits]

[music turns whimsical]

-[electric static]

-[groans]

[machine humming]

[machine pulsing]

I hear you.

-[electric static]

-[groans]

Dear God, that smarts.

[quirky music playing]

[Oren] Oren, you clever dog.

You have found him.

[birds chirping]

[water sloshing]

-[quirky music continues]

-[birds chirping]

[groans]

[tense music playing]

[screams]

[Marsha moaning]

I want your spine, Oren.

[moaning]

Oh, Oren.

Oh, Oren, Gordon

was never this good.

-[moans]

-Oh, Marsha.

Your husband's

a terrible fisherman.

[Marsha]

He's terrible at sex too.

You like that, uh-huh?

[screams]

-[moans]

-[creature croaking]

[tense music playing]

-[creature screeches]

-[screams]

[moans]

[tense music continues]

-[retches]

-[screams]

-[machine beeping]

-[creature groans]

[roars]

[distorted laughter, grunting]

[distorted voice] You put

a baby in my wife, Oren.

[distorted voice]

Your spawn is kicking.

[distorted laughing]

[creature croaking]

I gotta get out of here.

[Oren screams]

[ominous music playing]

Why are you me?

-I ain't no meter maid.

-I'm Deputy Kaufman, sir.

Don't "sir" me. Me?

-Help me.

-Are you hurt?

[creature croaking]

-Did you hear that? There it is.

-Is something chasing you?

It wants to have our babies.

Hey! Hey, come back here.

Hey, buddy, we need

to get back to the road.

[leaves crunching]

[g*nsh*t]

[soft music playing]

[coughs, groans]

It is still out there.

Don't let it get us.

It wants to have our babies.

[branches snapping]

-[dramatic music playing]

-[creature growls]

[creature growls]

-[uneasy music playing]

-[insects chirping]

-[gasps]

-[both scream]

-[bursts]

-[screams]

-[creature croaks]

-[insects chirping]

[Joe] And that's about it.

I mean it gets brought up

every now and then,

but everybody

just laughs it off.

Although nobody has ever seen

Oren again since that night.

Well, thank you, Joe.

Another good story.

I just think it's funny

how the last two stories

had to deal with some

interspecies coupling.

Either you guys have some

really weird kinks out there

or the monsters do.

-[radio static]

-[Harlan] Go ahead...

-[radio tuning]

-...Ms. Wheels.

I would love to hear

what you have to tell us.

Well, Harlan, um...

I wanna start off by saying

I've been a paramedic

for about five years now.

But what I'm about to tell you

really dots the eye

in weird in my career.

[Harlan] Well,

we're all ears, Wheels.

This happened of all nights

on Halloween night,

probably like four years ago,

beginning of my career.

-[birds chirping]

-[animals howling]

[radio reporter] This just in,

there have been several reports

across the Washburn

County area...

[snores]

...of unidentified falling

debris coming from the sky.

There have also been sightings

of unidentified shapes,

seemingly floating around

several local state parks.

Stay tuned as we continue

to gather more information.

-You'll never take me alive!

-Dad, Dad.

-[Dad] Oh.

-It's your son.

-[sighs] Oh, Dale. Oh.

-Uh, where's the bathroom?

Oh, of course.

Yeah, let's go in the house.

[chuckles] Big day tomorrow.

-[ominous music playing]

-[water burbling]

[radio reporter]

When we return, we'll be talking

with eyewitnesses from

last night's strange encounters.

And how some say

it may be linked

to an incident 40 years ago

in Hopkinsville, Kentucky.

Urban legend or real event?

We'll discuss more

when we return

from our commercial break.

[whimsical music playing]

[music turns suspenseful]

[Ashley screams] Dammit, Dale!

[Dale] What?

What are you yelling for?

You know I hate Halloween

and you take me to

your dad's place,

which is decorated like a

complete psycho k*ller's house.

This sh*t's everywhere. [sighs]

Oh, I told you about my dad

when he was a young kid.

He loves Halloween.

It's the only thing he truly

gets excited for anymore

these days with Mom gone

and his health not so good.

I always make it back

for Halloween.

[soft music playing]

You do know that

there is a hot tub here

just calling our names, right?

-I didn't even bring a swimsuit.

-You don't even need one.

Nobody's gonna see

you way out here.

-Your dad?

-[Dale chuckles]

He for sure won't mind.

Okay, well,

I'm getting drunk first.

It's the only way I'm making it

through tonight.

Deal.

And I get a massage.

Mr. Bones will even help.

[whimsical music continues]

[grunts]

-[suspenseful music playing]

-[goo squelching]

[sniffs]

What do you think it is?

Oh, I don't know.

Spacecraft...

Alien egg pod. [chuckles]

Maybe it's from NASA.

Who knows. [chuckles]

One thing's for sure.

This'll be great for my

front porch set up tonight.

[chuckles] Scare the kiddos

for sure. [laughs]

-Thank God.

-[music intensifies]

You know, I appreciate

you coming out here

to visit me on Halloween.

I know you're a busy man.

It's my pleasure, Dad.

I always enjoy

spending time with you,

especially on the best day

of the year, Halloween.

[Dad laughs]

Did you hear about

those weird UFO sightings

that people were calling

at the radio station about?

Happened last night.

People were saying they saw

objects streak across the sky

and then vanish,

weird colors and noises,

just like in all those

cheesy sci-fi movies

we'd watch

when I was growing up.

You don't wanna know the truth.

What'd you say?

[clicks tongue]

Yeah, we've got

a few things to finish up

before the trick-or-treaters

come around. [chuckles]

It was always your favorite

part of Halloween, of course.

-Still is.

-[chuckles]

["Space Fiends" by Truckstop]

Space fiends

Space fiends

[heavy breathing]

Take to the w*r

And violent things

Your celebrity

Face on my screen

And all your crying

Will do no good

So sign up now

You know that you should

Be a part of this

Come on and join

[eerie music playing]

Okay, Pops, we'll be back later.

Heading out to the annual

Halloween Lodge party.

Okay, you kids have fun.

[chuckles]

Hey, Ashley, nice costume!

[chuckles]

-[sighs]

-[eerie music continues]

[sniffs]

-[water dripping]

-[eerie music continues]

[alien screeches]

-[Dad grunts]

-[glass shattering]

[groans]

[Alien whispering] Billy.

Billy. Billy.

[alien screeching]

Billy.

Billy.

-[gasps]

-[bulb shattering]

[Alien] We know you can hear us.

It's been a long time, Billy.

-[glass shattering]

-How did you find me?

[Alien] It took us a long

time to find you again.

Why are you doing this to me?

[Alien] You're coming home

with us.

You're ruining Halloween.

-[electric static]

-[alien screeches]

-[heart beating]

-[glass shattering]

[electric static]

[heat beating]

[Alien] We didn't get you then,

but we'll get you now.

[ominous music playing]

[Dale] Dad?

-Dad!

-They got me.

[alien babbling]

I hate Halloween.

[Wheels] And that was the story

he was telling us

as we took him to the ICU.

Honestly, I don't think

any of us

really knew what to make of it.

So we kind of just

let him babble.

But in a weird way,

it kind of calmed him down,

helped him cling on until

we made it to the hospital.

[Harlan] Well that is amazing.

Did the gentleman

survive his incident?

Oh, yeah. He pulled through

like a champ

and all the nurses

at the hospital

really loved his company.

And now--

now he has two really

interesting stories to tell.

[Harlan] Well, that's fantastic.

I'm glad to hear

he is still among us.

I'd hate to have him pop up

in one of our ghost episodes

down the road.

So, looks like

we've got the barber

down in Texas on line one.

The barber, you're live

on the Truth Serum.

[barber] Hello? Yeah.

Hey, I love the show.

Hold on just a sec.

I'm sorry to interrupt you,

but you say

your name is the Barber,

so you cut hair, right?

Yeah, yeah,

I cut hair, man. Yeah.

So how come the alias then?

[barber] Well, I've got some

pretty exclusive customers

and it just wouldn't be good.

Okay, now you've

got my attention.

Tell us what kind

of cryptid you saw.

I saw a chupacabra.

Or two of them.

You're in way

out West Texas, right?

[barber] Yes, West Texas.

What part of West Texas,

exactly?

Let's just say West Texas, man.

Okay, I totally understand.

Let's just get

into your chupacabra story.

[barber] So like

these nerdy guys,

they build this wall of TVs

that seem to run into

like one big cable.

That cable goes out

to the back of this van

which, it's got like this huge

satellite dish on top of it.

After that's done,

that's when those

jefes get here,

you know, the bosses.

The jefes gathered to watch

this closed-circuit TV thing,

and where the cameras

are filming,

man, I don't know.

And to tell the truth,

I don't want to know.

This sounds like

some crazy movie

you'd see on the B movie

channel or something.

I'm-- But I'm all ears, Barber,

please continue.

[barber] So at this warehouse,

the jefes, they choose

a runner to represent them,

each one of them.

Now, who these people are

and why they'd

volunteer to do this,

man, you got me bro.

I guess, like,

low level street dealers,

they haven't produced or either

they pissed off thejefes.

They're put in

this dark warehouse

and that's when

they call in El Guapo.

And he's carrying like

these two dog carriers,

goes to a small door

in the alley,

and sends the chupacabras

in through the opening

to hunt down the runners, right?

All while he blows

a silent whistle

hanging around his neck.

[Harlan] Come on, now!

[chuckles]

Believe it or not, man,

I've seen it

with my own two eyes.

Mr. Barber, so then

what happens to the runners?

[barber] The dogs do

what dogs do.

[speaking Spanish]

[barber] They hunt.

-[dog whistle blows]

-[uneasy music playing]

[chupacabra panting]

-Who the f*ck are y'all?

-Who the f*ck are you?

None of your business, bean boy.

Was everyone kidnapped

and brought here

against their will

or was that just me?

-I was.

-Samoan, I was too.

So we all have that in common?

Yeah. And we got

our asses f*cking kicked.

We have these numbers

branded on our head.

-I know what this is.

-What is it?

-This is payback.

-Payback for what?

Payback for screwing

over my boss.

So what, you're a dealer?

This ain't good, man.

You must be a rocket scientist.

What ain't good?

This. These numbers on our head.

Us being in here together,

y'all better get ready to fight.

Fight?

-Like each other?

-No, something worse.

What you mean by that,vato?

-[uneasy music playing]

-[chains jangling]

-[chupacabra panting]

-Hey everyone, shut up.

-[chains jangling]

-[dramatic rock music playing]

Bam, bam, let's go!

-[screams]

-[chupacabra growls, roars]

[in Spanish]

[dramatic rock music continues]

-[chupacabra growls]

-[screams]

-[in Spanish]

-[laughs]

[inaudible]

[chupacabra barks]

[in English]

No, no, definitely don't--

No, not-- back it up. Back.

See this m*therf*cker?

[screams]

-[chupacabra panting]

-[sobbing]

I paid you good solid dollars,

American dollars, I'll tell you,

which is number one currency

in the f*cking world.

And what do you do?

You go and get k*lled.

You dumb m*therf*cker.

Y'all gonna drive me

to drinking, bunch of assholes.

[chupacabra snarling]

[laughing]

[in Spanish]

-[chupacabra snarling]

-[screams]

[in English]

Really, he got his a*s ate.

He got his a*s ate.

[in Spanish]

[screams]

[men laughing]

[men laughing]

[chupacabra panting]

[in English]

It's me, it's me, it's me.

-You okay, dude?

-Yeah, for now.

-What the hell are those things?

-The chupacabras.

-Chupacabras?

-Yes.

They're real, man.

And this is a game.

A game? Like a game of survival?

Yeah. And it's game over, man.

[shushes]

-Run!

-[chupacabra barking]

Look, jump that,

we'll be safe.

I will, but you won't.

-[dramatic music continues]

-[chupacabras barking]

[boy] What the f*ck

are you doing, man?

f*ck you, I ain't dying today.

What are you doing?

Wait a minute, man!

Get back, you...

[speaks indistinctly]

[chupacabras snarling]

f*ck you, you two

hairless b*stards.

-Nice knowing you, as*h*le.

-[One screams]

[in Spanish]

[in English]

Congratulations,cabrn.

[indistinct chatter]

Yeah, man, and that's about it.

Chupacabras do exist.

They're being used by the

Mex-cartel as k*lling machines.

Wow.

That's just simply insane.

Okay my friend,

we appreciate the story.

We'll send you a Truth Serum

T-shirt for being on with us.

Hold on the line

for our Mr. Bump

and he will get you

squared away.

Well, there you

have it, listeners.

Chupacabras do exist

and they're being used for

k*lling people down in Texas.

Do you believe it?

Do I believe it?

Absolutely.

Absolutely questionable.

[chuckles] So stay tuned

and we'll be right back

after this break.

[announcer] The Truth Serum

will be right back

after a short commercial break.

-Bump, do you hear that?

-Yeah, what the hell is that?

I don't know, but it sounds like

that weird call from earlier.

Are we picking up another

source or something?

Or is somebody using a jammer?

I'll take care of it.

[unsettling music playing]

[mouse clicking]

[announcer] Now back

to Major Harlan Dean

and his Truth Serum.

Don't turn out those lights.

Harlan. Harlan,

the spot's over. You're back on.

[Harlan] Oh, sh*t. Here we go.

From Dover, Massachusetts.

Caller, you're on the air.

[caller gasping]

Hello, Major.

-[feedback squealing]

-Oh, yeah.

Whoa there partner.

Turn that radio down, will ya?

[caller] Is that better?

Yes, okay, go ahead, caller.

[caller] You'll have

to forgive me.

I have a strange

question to ask.

[Harlan]

You must have just tuned in.

I've been dealing

with strange all night.

-What's your question?

-I've got a GoPro...

[gasps]

...that was covered

in glowing goo.

And the footage is crazy.

I sent it... [gasps]

...to your email.

I think these two boys

captured footage of...

the Dover Demon.

It's rolling, it's rolling,

it's rolling.

-[birds chirping]

-[electronic music playing]

[firecracker pops]

[electronic music continues]

You gonna learn

how to hit today, p*ssy?

Maybe.

Paul, I don't like

baseball movies.

I like scary movies.

Have you seen

Nightmare on Elm Street,

Texas Chainsaw, Halloween?

-Oh, hockey mask.

-Jesus.

What the f*ck?

I can't wait to see

boobs in real life.

[Elliot] I'm gonna see

so many boobs.

What do you think

about the demon?

No one's seen

Dover's claim to fame

since our parents were kids.

I don't even think

it qualifies as a cryptid.

Probably just

a Ret*rded hairless

baby moose or something.

[Elliot] Corey thinks

it's an alien that CTech--

Corey thinks

everything is aliens.

CTech fired him and Tank for it.

Now he's a full schizo

pothead grownup

living in his mom's garage.

He's still

a smart-a*s scientist.

[electronic music continues]

[Paul] One more time. Grip it.

Grip it. Call the house.

Grip it,

grip it.

-Call the house.

-That's our only ball!

[leaves rustling]

No, don't touch it.

It could have a bacteria

or flesh-eating virus

or something.

Let's take it to the lab.

[Corey] Where did you come from?

-[pounding on door]

-Corey, Tink, let us in, man.

-Come on, no bullshit.

-[dog barking]

[buzzer buzzing]

-[door opens, closes]

-Dude, what took you so long?

[Elliot] You're not

gonna believe--

[Paul] Seriously, man.

You're gonna look

at this thing or what?

All right, all right,

cool your jets, man.

Call the house.

You have a specimen.

We're gonna hypothesize,

rationalize, analyze,

plagiarize,

cross the T's dot the...

turns out to be some kind of

new species of Ret*rded moose.

-We'll call Nat G.

-[growls]

[dramatic music playing]

But...

if it does turn out to be

some kind of ET, Elliot,

what will you do?

[Elliot screaming]

[yells, grunts]

[sighs]

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'll do what I do best.

Decode that genome, baby.

Figure out who made it,

where it came from.

That's no Ret*rded moose.

[alien screeches]

[Tink screams]

Call the house.

Whatever this is,

CTech is obviously behind it.

And this time, they're not

gonna be able to laugh

and toss us out with the trash.

[chuckles] Oh, no.

We got the proof in the

decomposing pudding, baby.

This time they're gonna listen

and they're gonna pay

'cause we got Tink,

tantalizing and titillating

both the cerebrum

and the pituitary

with their big old brains

and those big old boobies.

-[laughs]

-[Corey] And last but not least,

we got our new muscle.

The slayer of extraterrestrial

beasts,

obviously slinging some

serious hog down there.

Thick as a beer can!

Long as my arm!

Ladies, look out!

Put all that together

and you've got one badass,

unstoppable mystery team

coming to f*ck up your day.

[electronic music continues]

There's just one problem.

-What?

-What?

Flesh-eating virus!

[all scream]

-[electronic music continues]

-[dog barking]

[flesh squelches]

[both scream]

[static crackles]

[gasps] So, what do you think

after watching

the footage? That's...

That's proof, isn't it? [gasps]

I don't know if that

was proof of anything

except to wash your hands

and don't bag up dead aliens.

[chuckles]

[gasps] Wash my hands?

Oh, I wish I would've

thought of that one.

[wheezes]

Might have to get

a drink here in a little bit.

I think we have time

for one more call.

And we are talking to Sean.

Go ahead, Sean.

You are on the Truth Serum.

[Sean] I kind of

wanted to talk about

those callers that sounded

like they were pranking you.

Yeah, pranks can be funny,

but sometimes

-they don't go as planned.

-Well, people don't,

you know, realize what

kind of repercussions

behavior like that can have.

It seems funny at first,

but you never know

what way it can turn.

And-- Are you gonna

tell us why, though?

I have a feeling

that this is where

your story is starting from.

[Sean] Yeah, I'm from

Bladenboro, North Carolina.

-The home of the beast.

-[unsettling music playing]

[chain clinking]

You see, I told you there'd be

something in my dad's freezer

we could use.

Let's give it, like,

another half hour

-and then we'll get started.

-Sounds good to me.

You sure this is a good idea?

What's that doing up there?

-What?

-[clears throat]

Either you tell me now or...

Oh, I'll read it

on your tombstones

after Dad's done k*lling you.

Okay, Leah, here's how it is.

Do you wanna go to the movies

with me on Friday?

[scoffs] That's it.

You guys are in big trouble.

Leah.

It's about the beast.

-What?

-You know, the beast.

Remember the story?

Yeah, Sean,

I know about the beast.

Who the hell

in Bladenboro doesn't. So?

So, it's back.

And we're gonna prove

it's not just story.

I'm free Saturday too.

[Sean] We have a solid plan

and it's gonna work.

A solid plan, huh?

A monster hunt is a solid plan?

Yeah, actually it is.

Oh, really? How so?

I would love to hear this.

I mean,

how do you know that this thing

is even still walking around?

Didn't that story happen

like a really long time ago?

Yeah, but recently

there's been a lot

of animal attacks.

Pets going missing,

dying left and right,

just like when the beast

came the first time around.

Do you even watch the news?

I really hate to bring

you back to reality

but, pets die from

wild animals all the time.

There are numerous

culprits out there

that could be doing that.

Like coyotes, for one.

-That's probably the best bet.

-Really?

Well sh*t,

that makes total

sense when you say it.

It's the coyotes

decapitating them

and drinking all their blood.

Typical coyote behavior.

Mm, mm, mm.

So, do you, uh,

want to help us out

with this or...?

And watch two make

total fools of yourselves?

[scoffs] Absolutely. I'm so in.

Made yourself comfortable?

We're gonna start

surveillance soon.

So, this is obviously

what we bait it in, with

cat videos and pop-up ads,

right? [laughs]

Yeah, not quite.

See, what we're gonna do

is we're not only

lowering it in with

fresh raw meat, which is

what it's used to eating.

We're gonna hit it

with something else.

Something it's a little

more familiar with.

[beast growling over speaker]

Sean, what in the hell is that?

Well, that...

was the only existing

recording of the beast ever.

Supposedly someone got it just

a couple days

before its last sighting.

Now, it's our ace card.

-You ready to roll, Matt?

-[Matt] Moment of truth.

[electronic music playing]

Oh, my God.

I can't take this anymore.

-[Sean] You've given up already?

-Yeah, what the hell?

Talk about patience, geez.

Sean, I can literally

only waste so much of my time

before it actually

becomes impossible

to continue doing so.

What did you think

was gonna happen?

It was just gonna pop out

after five minutes?

Goodnight, Sean.

-Matt.

-Yes?

Do you want me to rub

your feet or something?

So...?

So? Go get it.

[chuckles] Oh, good.

I love handling that thing.

I'm actually considering

making it a hobby of mine.

-[suspenseful music playing]

-[dog howling]

[chain creaking]

[reporter] Report

suspicious activity

and call 9-1-1

for immediate response.

Expect delay,

searches of personal property.

-Take personal security...

-Leah.

[reporter] ...to avoid

becoming a victim.

Sean, what the hell?

No, I told you I'm done.

I watched you fail.

What else do you need from me?

-Leah, you gotta come here.

-[reporter] ...and local radio--

No, uh, I don't.

I gotta sit right here

and pretend you don't exist.

-Leah.

-[news continues in background]

You gotta come help.

Please.

[Leah] Sean?

[reporter] ...of persons that

exhibit signs of infection.

-[TV clicks]

-Sean, what's wrong?

Sean?

Sean, what's going on?

Where is Matt?

Sean? You're freaking me out.

Where is Matt?

[sighs] I-- I don't know.

One moment he was here

and now he's gone.

-What do you mean gone?

-Gone, Leah, gone as in missing.

Do you see him right now?

Maybe he just

got bored and went

home or something.

He would've said something

if he went home.

I told him to take

this down for me.

When I went to check

on it, the meat was gone

and so was he.

[suspenseful music playing]

Sean, what do you think

you're doing?

I'm looking for my friend.

You don't even give

a sh*t about him,

-so why do you care?

-Listen to me.

We have to go back

and call for help.

-You understand?

-No, we gotta go look for him.

-He needs us right now.

-Sean, please.

-[Matt growls, howls]

-[g*nsh*t]

[gasps]

-[owl hooting]

-[suspenseful music playing]

[laughs] I got him.

I heard it call.

I had to find him.

Thank God I got here in time.

It was gonna get you kids.

What are you guys doing out here

with this thing running around?

We're looking for another boy.

His best friend,

have you seen him?

Boy?

There ain't no boy out here.

Just that son of a b*tch thing.

And when it k*lled my dog,

the only thing I ever

loved in my life,

and he took--

he took his f*cking head.

-I can't believe I got him.

-Mister, listen,

we have to call

the police, okay?

They need to know about this.

I got him, I got him.

I can't believe I got him.

-Do you understand me?

-Son of a b*tch.

Where do you live?

Do you live near here?

Mister, please?

Sean, don't touch that.

[g*n c*ck]

-Oh, f*ck.

-[blood spurting]

I didn't know.

I swear, I didn't know.

It was an accident.

Stupid as*h*le.

-It was a prank.

-[sobs] Oh, God.

You k*lled him,

you m*therf*cker.

I swear to God,

I'll f*cking k*ll--

-[g*nsh*t]

-[screams]

You saw it. He attacked me.

I had to protect myself.

-I'm calling the police.

-Leah.

-Run!

-No.

[g*nsh*t]

-[somber music playing]

-No.

I'm sorry, son,

but I can't go to jail.

It was an accident.

-Forgive me.

-[g*n c*ck]

[dramatic music playing]

-[beast growling]

-[hunter screams]

Son,

save me.

[beast snarling]

[dramatic music continues]

No.

[electronic music playing]

[hunter screaming in distance]

[beast howling]

[Sean] So yeah, that's how

a simple, stupid prank

got my best friend

and my sister k*lled.

So anyone out there

that's listening,

you're thinking

about doing a prank,

there's some things you just

can't take back.

Well.

I thought these stories

were going to be

at least a little fun.

Sorry about that downer

to all my listeners out there.

This has definitely taken a turn

down a sadder path

than expected.

Oh, okay. Well,

I'm getting the signal.

It's that time.

This concludes this

episode of the Truth Serum.

I wanna thank our callers for

sharing their stories with us.

For those listeners who

love to hear about things

that go bump in the night,

we never know what's just

lurking beyond the shadows,

hiding, waiting, watching.

Join us next week when

our topic of conversation

will be haunted highways.

Good evening. And sleep tight.

[announcer] And now,

it's time to say goodnight

to the Truth Serum

and hello to our next block

of easy-listening jazz,

brought to you by WQRK,

easy listening.

[light jazz music playing]

[sighs]

-[clears throat]

-[dramatic sting]

You know, you could

knock next time.

And what would be

the fun in that?

I take it you recorded

it all the way

like you were instructed?

-You seem like a smart man.

-Wasn't that hard at all.

[suspenseful music overlapping]

[Harlan]

What'll happen to the callers?

It's not your concern, Mr. Dean.

Don't let it cost you any sleep.

You know, one of these days,

this little charade of yours...

it's not gonna work.

Despite your best

attempts to conceal it,

the truth will get out there.

For the sake

of all mankind, Mr. Dean,

pray it never does.

Goodnight.

Summer's kiss

Winter's cold

[demonic voice] Harlan,

I warned you.

You didn't listen.

[dramatic sting]

This time, Harlan,

it's time to sign off.

["Weird" by Francis Lima]

Something's calling

Oh, my God

I'm gonna tell you what

This fear I feel inside me

The creepers screeching

In my yard

It's rising in the night

I cannot breathe

I can't believe

Is that disease on my mind?

The creepers screeching

In my yard

It's rising in the night

The silver moonlight

Is hurting my eyes

Fallen once

You make me blind

What is this weird thing

We have lost in lies?

The red dolls rising again

I hope it comes to an end

Oh, my God

I'll tell you what

This fear I feel inside

The creepers screeching

In my yard

It's rising in the night

I cannot breathe

I can't believe

Is that disease on my mind?

The creepers screeching

In my yard

This rising in the night

Oh, my God

I'll tell you what

This fear I feel inside

The creepers screeching

In my yard

It's rising in the night

I cannot breathe

I can't believe

Is that disease on my mind?

The creeper's screeching

In my yard

It's rising in the night

And I'm still alive

Oh, my God

I'll tell you what

This fear I feel inside

The creeper's screeching

In my yard

It's rising in the night

[upbeat rock music playing]

The buildings of the cities

Steeped in a drenching rain

The fog is forming

Every pattern in the night

A dog was ripped to pieces

A woman has been slain

Oh how I dreaded what

I knew I would find

My clothes are blood-stained

I hope I can explain

The curse of love won't moan

The curse of love won't moan

Oh

The curse of love won't moan

Oh

Like entropy

A form of insanity

Insanity

Between

The light reflections

[sings indistinctly]

Can I confide in you

As I confess these crimes?

I'm not like Jack the Ripper

In fact, I have been framed

I realize you lied

It was you this whole time

As I slowly die

You drive into the night

The curse of love won't moan

Oh

The curse of love won't moan

Oh

The curse of love won't moan

Oh

Like entropy

A form of insanity